Worry about it at Passover. Significant Hannukah celebration is assimilationist in itself, and having a doughnut and some fried potatoes is enough of a celebration.
I know, if I actually wanted to expose them to Judaica, there are way more important holidays to pick. I think it's the relentless barrage of Christmas and absolutely nothing else that reminds me every year. I mean, this city celebrates the fuck out of Christmas. The biggest town festival, complete with tons of carney rides, every school and organization performing on a stage, and a "town of Bethlehem" with people dressed up as Bethlehomies and angels wandering around, and camels, sheep, etc all in little stalls, next to stalls of people baking bread in wood burning stoves and other things like that.
I wish there was the Hanukkah equivalent of an advent calendar. I pre-order one for each kid, and each night they pop open a little candle-shaped window, revealing one Hanukkah coin.
That would be the exact dedication to the holiday that I'm looking for.
I don't know, that beard looks kind of fake.
But perhaps this video provides a basis for your daughter to impose barre exercises on her younger siblings as a Chanukah tradition (led by her, of course)? I have a feeling she might enjoy that...
Yes, maybe this video is the perfect amount of Hanukkah for the Geebies!
4: You should make one. It should look like it only opens into one compartment but actually has eight.
Anyway, at our parochial school today, they had a holiday program. By way of being inconclusive or indecisive, they sang songs about Christmas, Hanakkah and Kwanza. That's when I learned that Jews have more candles that black people but both have more than white Christians.
9: Wow -- that sounds like the War on Christmas that I keep hearing about.
I would agree that a Christmas tree—or a Hanakkah bush—would be "assimilationist," but the celebration of Hanukkah is more of a cultural response, a resistance to assimilation.
And while a non-biblical celebration, it is in the semi-sacred Apocrypha, and dates from antiquity, rather than being invented recently out of whole cloth. And the elements of the celebration are all quite old: I saw Hanukkia in the Museum of European Jewry in the Marais that were 500 years old. Mao Tzur is hundreds of years old and long associated with the holiday. Ditto the draydel games.
There's plenty of assimilation out there, but this ain't it.
Plus, Judah the Hammer is a cool name.
11: The key assimilationist element is the emphasis on gift-giving. Jewish kids would brag -- Hanukka is better than Christmas because we get presents for 8 days! And then I would stare quietly at the floor because my mom is a purist, so all I got was Hanukkah gelt (chocolate coins).
Whereas Hawaii's (public) school is having a straight-up Christmas recital - wear red and green, and stick to this one holiday. And a Christmas party with strictly enforced genders book exchange.
13: Are they shitty chocolate or can you get good ones if you know the right place?
Anyway, being an assimilationist is my true birthright.
15: Well the kind I got was lousy chocolate even by my low standards at the time.
-.
15: We bought good ones, Belgian chocolate, last night.
Massive gift-giving is an offense to all traditional faith. We had pretty modest Christmases when I was a a kid, and my family's Hanukkah celebrations and gift-giving have always been pretty modest, with the nightly gift usually in the "stocking-stuffer" range.
Judah the Hammer would not hesitate to kill all you assimilationists.
Whereas Hawaii's (public) school is having a straight-up Christmas recital - wear red and green, and stick to this one holiday.
Meanwhile, when my kid was in a church school and they did a Christmas pageant actually in the church underneath a gigantic cross, they carried a menorah in the processional (this seemed a little OTT actually), and recited the story of Hannukah from the lectern, because that's just what you do here. Also some Buddhist and Islamic readings because why not. No Hindu anything though so screw you, Desis!
20: Nothing for the Satanists? Kids love Baphomet!
I sometimes think I should become a Satanist because it's the religion of both metal and trolling. Kind of goes against my other beliefs though.
Massive gift-giving is an offense to all traditional faith.
I'd try this on The Missus, but unfortunately, she's an atheist.
2 is blowing my mind. In right-thinking temperate other states, this sort of thing happens in August. Not the angels, but the carnies and food and such.
23: Think of it as affirming certain distinctly Christian beliefs.
15: I'm betting the ones at WF are good chocolate.
Anyway, at our parochial school today
Huh. For some reason, I had assumed your kid went to the school named after the hero crossing guard. I guess because that used to be a really good school*, and I think it's your feeder school.
*before the high profile Jewish school poached its principal with a locally known name.
25: Yesterday I wore a tank top and shorts. It's been unusually warm though. Normal is highs in the 60s, lows in the 40s.
I like that it looks wintery here, at least. Leaves fall, grass is dead, sky gets gray and somber. In Florida, winter still looked very green and alive.
30: Oh yeah, that goes a long way. Christmas in Miami is straight-up bullshit.
Hmm. Maybe we had poinsettias blooming in the yard? That would seem festive, but in practice it's just more semitropical anti-Xmas nonsense.
28: That is the feeder, and it's still a good school (or at least the transition to the new principal to the replace the replacement of the principal you mentioned is supposed to fix things). We send him to Catholic school so he can learn about Hanukkah.
You could show them the video several people I know have posted of four guys doing an a capella version of the dreidel song complete with beat boxing while they toss plastic dreidels around. If they're anything like me, they will march right out the door and convert to Islam.
I completely forgot that Chalica was a couple weeks ago. I guess respecting the inherent worth and dignity will have to wait till next year.
The best part about Chalica is that even if you are a Unitarian it's optional. Wouldn't want to impose!
The best part about Chalica is that even if you are a Unitarian it's optional. Wouldn't want to impose!
At the risk of broaching a sensitive subject, I note that it was claimed that, ". . . unlike the other guy Tim "Ripper" Owens does only two things -- defend white supremacy and leave."
Isn't it time to bring Robert Halford back?
Just because a plan is failing doesn't mean it isn't a plan.
The best part of Chalica is mocking other Unitarians who celebrate Chalica. Not that I've ever met any. I suspect the Chalica movement has fizzled out.
This is the first I ever heard of it.
I suspect Chalica didn't have flowing, silky, long beards, tutus and mandatory barre exercises under the jackslipper of five year old Texans, so no wonder it fizzled.
I've never heard of it either, but I see it started in 2005.
Then the tradition isn't even as old as the traditional viewing of the video of the guy tasting his semen.
Maybe I'll do an episode a night instead of the thing with the candle.
18: Massive gift-giving is an offense to all traditional faith.
Man, do I have to agree with this. I glimpsed a cow-orker's gift order for his brother today: $269.00. Is that normal? I mean, sometimes, okay, depending on who it is, and the nature of the gift, but as a matter of course (in this case a case of wine), really?
It's boosting the economy, I imagine. Still, I was a bit startled that this was considered a standard, going-through-the-motions gift.
I remember fondly the warm Chalicas of my youth, drinking a cup of organic chai by the fire, playing Multicultural Pogs with all the cousins, leaving out kale chips for Winter Claus...
At my own public elementary school's holiday performance* (which was in south Florida, so the hibiscus was still blooming), we sang about "the holidays," reindeer, and Santa, but never used the word "Christmas." In fact, it wasn't until a few years ago that I realized the horrible song I learned as "Holly Jolly Holiday" was originally "Holly Jolly Christmas."
*The whole thing was an abomination.** We sang "Winter Wonderland" with the words "In the meadow we can build a snowman/And pretend that he's a circus clown." Meanwhile, neither I nor most of my classmates had ever seen snow.
**Another song started out with "Ho Ho ho/Ho Ho Ho/We are little elves." Really, I was scarred for life.
"Ho Ho ho/Ho Ho Ho/We are little elves."
"Jingle Bells"?
No Hindu anything though so screw you, Desis!
The Principle is Pakistani?
What do you do about people who won't give up with the massive gift giving? We've been trying to wind it down for a decade, and I thought we'd agreed with my sister that we'd give each other a small gift token and an Oxfam goat or something from here on. So far this year we've already received a box of top of the line chocs half as long as me, a huge crate of beer, and there's something else coming.
I'm not ungrateful, it's wonderful, but how do I make it stop?
48: OMG. Contact the International Red Cross.
#2 makes perfect sense, as does the relentless barrage of expensive gifts, if you remember that the One True Religion of America is actually Capitalism, not Christianity.
That's why American Jesus ain't having none of that Give everything you have to the poor and follow me shit.
50: I somebody wants to give me a goat, beer, and chocolate, I'm happy to accept them. I would prefer the goat be already dead and packed in butcher paper.
I must have eaten a goat at some point in my life, but I can't recall it or what it tastes like. I'm going to assume it isn't much different from lamb.
Indian restaurants serve a lot of goat meat. It's more mutton than lamb.
I have an OT religion question. I watched a few episodes of Salem, and as it is about as good a show as you'd expect from the creator of Star Trek: Enterprise I instead started browsing Wikipedia on the witch trials. I'd previously heard, and then forgotten, as usual, that dreams were used as evidence, but I'd never heard that there was some debate about the validity of such spectral evidence. What sort of place do dreams have in Christianity over time? They've always seemed to me like the most powerful, accessible spiritual experience, and I have a vague, underinformed belief that they play a large part in many non-Judeo-Christian religions, so why are the absent today? Or do they play a part?
56: Oh, then you meant to say you ate a kid.
57: In my limited but maybe not unrepresentative experience, charismatic evangelicals at least differentiate between dreams and times they were awake and heard divine speech or whatever, or at least they make a big deal about doing so when they're talking about it.
Oh wait, is this really about figuring out Witness 40's Ferguson testimony?
59: Right, so they consider dreams to have little spiritual value. Is this the norm, historically and cross-culturally?
The idea that God can give you a message in a dream is pretty well established, but certainly something like "you dreamed about a goat therefore you will meet your future spouse today" is regarded as superstition.
I think we can all agree that my son's teacher made a serious error of inclusiveness by putting chanukah on this week's spelling test word list.
63: To be genuine inclusive she would have to accept almost any spelling.
There isn't even a right way to spell that. At least not in English.
Christmas in Miami is straight-up bullshit.
To be fair, everything in Miami is straight-up bullshit.
62: Well, obviously a dream goat would be a messenger from Satan, but in general how do they differentiate between messages from God and mere superstition? And are there more systematic views about what dreams are? To this (religiously ignorant, admittedly) vegetable, it seems curiously underdeveloped. Or maybe the waking spiritual experience in believers is more powerful in comparison than I'd guess, and it's not so curious.
Christmas in Miami is straight-up bullshit.
You can do Christmas in high summer just fine. You just have to ditch the Germanic mythology.
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Got a date for this weekend. I hadn't been planning on hitting the dating scene until May or so, but I sort of stumbled into her online and we seem to click. I'm pretty stoked.
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Hooray, togolosh! We had a friend over the other night who announced he's not dating anyone until after Valentine's Day so he doesn't have to buy gifts.
72: Your friend is very practical. He can sneak in a decent length relationship before gifts come up again at Christmas.
If there is much of a movement not to date until after Valentine's Day to save on gifts, you could maybe date up if you enter the market in the last week of January.
I shared my story of how Lee, who started dating me a month before my birthday, gave me a bracelet that she liked too so that she wouldn't be at a loss if we broke up and I gave it back. That kind of thing is harder to negotiate in straight relationships, though. And 73 is basically how this year's relationship worked out and he realized he liked it, so whatever works!
75: Did he really break up before Christmas to avoid the gift-giving?
75: No, he's not a terrible person and actually fairly generous as far as I can tell. He's just at the recently divorced catnip stage that's been mentioned here many times before and not trying to settle down again while she was, so that sort of thing.
Indian restaurants serve a lot of goat meat. It's more mutton than lamb.
Mmmmm. The new Indian place in town makes goat curry, which I hadn't had before, and is very tasty.
46
No, that is weird, but my family is kind of cheap and I come from a sort of shitty gift giving culture. Probably the best thing we give each other at Christmas is woolen socks.
I feel like if you've been dating someone for less than four months or so, gifts are optional.
70 - so...a church service?
I mean, the extent to which Christmas is a genuinely Christian thing is pretty overstated. It's a European thing (initially anyway), sure, but aside from a few extraneous theological bits (plenty of which Christians mostly ignore too) it's about as Christian as Thanksgiving. And, I mean, practically every culture north of the equator has a holiday around the winter solstice where everyone gets together with their family, eats too much and sets things on fire.
I feel like if you've been dating someone for less than four months or so, gifts are optional.
AB & I had been dating 2-3 months when she had her bday. IIRC I didn't get her anything tangible, but I did plan a nice outing for us, and the night before I had a slightly special dessert ready. Rather more tangibly, though, I replaced the single bed in my apt with a double bed, which was really the best gift of all.
I replaced the single bed in my apt with a double bed, which was really the best gift of all.
Nevertheless, if things hadn't worked out, then like Lee in 75 you could still have slept more comfortably in it yourself.
Regarding birthdays and dating, I recently learned that I was the subject of a rumor (yes, law school is middle school; there's lockers and everything). The rumor had it that I had broken up with someone on her birthday, in a total jerk move. The thing is, we saw each other informally (went on a few dates, no DTR as the kids call it), and then I called things off, due to a lack of spark. And I might have called it off on her birthday, but that seems unlikely. I certainly wouldn't have done so on purpose, in any event.
So now I feel like jerk about something I may or may not have done. In sum, rumors are weird.
Send her an Edible Arrangement for Christmas. Have it delivered to her in class.
When I was in law school lo these many years ago my stepdaughter, then appx a HS freshman, started spring break earlier than I did so for fun came to school with me one day. About halfway through the day she stood outside the room with all the lockers, at the foot if the main internal staircase, and accurately identified everyone's "tribe" as they trouped past. It was hilarious. The jocks, the nerds, the student government geeks, etc...
85: my family's obsessed with xmas and we're actually pretty horrible about the presents. if you're a university professor and you use your desktop Mac for ours each day to run illustrator and stuff, and your three/four year old computer is running crazy slow, then it's reasonable to replace it as a christmas gift. we give each other jewelry, that can go kind of bad. the most expensive thing I ever got my brother was an antique bronze statue of the maitreya buddha from eastern china. it's so, so awesome though, and he'll have it for the rest of his life to look at and admire and remember I love him. that's not really so bad, I think.
If he joins the Taliban, he'll have to blow it up.
I meant 86 to 79 and 46. surely your sister saying, "I found this victorian mourning brooch made of woven hair and gold" is an appropriate holiday sentiment, even if it chanced to be slightly pricey? naturally you'd get the best bargain possible on ebay.
87: true, and as I've explained he does have the look down. he's trimmed his beard to an "evil vizier/bloodthirsty pashtun" point right now.
Send her an Edible Arrangement for Christmas.
With my luck, it would turn out that her grandpa had been killed by an Edible Arrangement, and I'd be even more of a jerk. "He was just walking down the hallway with it, happy as can be, when the poor dear tripped and fell directly on top of the chocolate-covered merriment. He never stood a chance against all those pokey little sticks."
79: No, that is weird, but my family is kind of cheap and I come from a sort of shitty gift giving culture.
Thanks for the corroboration. My family isn't necessarily kind of cheap. More like Yankee thrift, as Jesus (McQueen! not the other one) recently reminded me; it means that spendy gifts should be well-considered and provided with good reason, not just because $money$. A new computer for someone whose life is negatively impacted by a shitty one? Sure. An entire fish tank set-up for someone who's enamored of ... fish and their tanks ... and who will be be delighted for years to come? Sure. A new bike. A delightful sculpture. These all make sense.
It's just the de rigueur money-spending, sort of like throwing pasta at a wall, that's weird. And frankly rather off-putting if it's expected in return.
Recollections of the best gifts given or received:
1. Given: The fish tank set-up given to a now-ex. Required much shopping around, cleaning and setting up the tank in the apartment, procuring the fish and rocks and all that stuff, filtering the water initially and running it through the bubbler-thingy. The guy almost cried when he got home.
2. Received: An elaborate multi-level wrought iron plant stand that had been my grandmother's, had become rusted/corroded, which that same ex sanded down and painted a lovely glossy forest green: re-presented! I was so happy. And still have it.
It's hard to do gifts on that order. You have to know the person pretty well.
92.2: AB is still fond of one long-term BF who arranged a fish-themed bday party for her, in which he gave her an aquarium setup, then invited friends brought various tropical fish to put in.
A really lovely idea, except that tropical fish are a pain in the ass, and they all ended up dying of horrible piscine diseases (fin rot, eye velvet).
My family always put a premium on cleverness around the wrapping/presenting aspect of it, e.g. themed From cards (like, if my sister and I got similar gifts, one would be from Santa and the other would be from Mrs. Claus), deceptive wrapping (especially prized during the CD era, when half of what was under the tree was pretty identifiable), etc. My greatest achievement in this was the year I gave my sister (a Steelers fan since the '70s) a bottle of Coke with a note saying "Give this to JRoth." She did, and I said, "Hey kid, catch." and tossed her a Mean Joe Greene jersey.
True. But Ben Roethlisberger is still probably a terrible person.
95: Being on the side of the angels re:QB rapists doesn't absolve you from dumping that poor woman on her birthday. (Sorry, couldn't resist.)
71: Yay!
I just don't see why she didn't think the dumping was a wonderful present. (Just kidding, Stanley, I swear!)
93.last is great and I enjoy having the chance to say mean things about Ben Roethlisberger a lot in my personal life now, not that there's anyone defending him.
93.3 last: That is awesome. You are a great brother.
Gifts are weird for me because I enjoy giving the super-thoughtful personalized gifts, but that's not a standard that I have the time, energy, or money to meet every year.
Best presents I've ever given: when Packers shares were last for sale, I bought one for my dad (and told him I wouldn't be spending any more money on his gifts for the next year or two). That may be one of his favorite gifts of all time. Another hit was in the first year or two that Mr. Robot and I were together, I hired an illustator off Craigslist to portray my husband as a comic book superhero (The Punster).
Mr. Robot and I are much more perfunctory in our gifts these days. This year I went ahead and showed him a link to the TASCHEN book celebrating Marvel's 75th anniversary,* which is pretty expensive, and asked him if it was worth spending the money on given that it's a bit outside our general annual cap for presents to one another. He said yes, and I've already given it to him. (He's giving me a year's subscription to satellite radio, and a painting commissioned from his friend, if the friend ever finishes it. The painting is actually a belated birthday gift, though.)
Now that I think about it, a lot of our best gifts have been artwork, including a Super Grover print Mr. Robot bought me at a Comic-Con for our fifth anniversary, and a gorgeous portrait he drew of me once we were engaged.
*If you find a good sale and are into comics, this book really is worth buying. The damn thing is huge, and very pretty.
I think the problem stems from defining the small small group you give over-the-top or otherwise very personal gifts to and everyone else you exchange with, and especially many people's reluctance to give the second group strictly perishable / consumable and fairly generic *but still enjoyable* gifts, at an appropriate price for your own circumstances.
The number of people who wouldn't enjoy one of flowers, chocolate or alcohol is pretty small, really. And if the particular variety you can afford to give is currently less expensive than what your rich aunt can afford, she'd have to be a real jerk to be bothered and you should enjoy a bit of kindly given luxury!
95-97: The Steelers were the team I would traditionally support in the playoffs once the Dolphins had departed in shame. A college friend was a huge fan, and we'd go to the Pourhouse in DC to choke down Iron City and wave Terrible Towels (and eat pierogi!). Then the Big Ben news came out, and I was so pissed by the lack of a team response that I vowed to never draft another Steeler for my fantasy team, a vow to which I have stuck.
This is actually my last year for fantasy or regular NFL viewing. Given what we know about TBI, I just can't stomach it anymore.
(Guess whose grades are a day overdue and is getting harassing email and text messages from her department but is still procrastinating...)
People give gifts related to football? Huh.
102: For my 13th birthday party, the guests of which were all female (at the time), we watched the Miami-FSU game (that particular game is still referred to by UM fans as "Wide Right II or III"--I can't remember which). Most of the gifts I received were some form of Miami sports apparel.
Other football gifts I have revived over the years: 3 Dolphins hoodies, a Dan Marino action figure, UM hair scrunchies, a teddy bear wearing a Dolphins sweater, and--best of all--an actual orange plastic seat, complete with baked-on dirt and junk, that a grad school friend bought for me online when the Orange Bowl was being torn down.
Football gifts I have given, besides the Packers share: multiple t-shirts, 2 fancy Packers-themed shadow boxes I crafted myself (the second one was a request from a relative who saw the first), an Adrian Peterson Christmas ornament for Mr. Robot (which is going in the trash), a pillow shaped like a Packers football helmet, and multiple infant onesies.
Honestly? I'm really going to miss football.
Revived s/b received. Also? I should get back to grading.
For very sound reasons most of which involve the Orange Bow, I hate Miami and FSU.
Wait, if Wikipedia is to believed, 1994 was not a Wide Right year, though the 'Canes still won (to the chagrin of most of my girlfriends, who were ((BOOOOOOOOOOOO!)) 'Noles fans).
For a great read on the team I once loved so much, see this Grantland piece.
n.b. Labs is banned from replying to this topic. He knows why.
Procrastination/name-dropping postscript: I had no idea what "n.b." stood for until I took a class with R/om H/arre. All I remember from that course are his witticisms and that "neural networks are a thing. Oh! He also taught us about the Turing Test and the Chinese Room problem. The witticisms were the best, though, even if one had to be there to appreciate most of them.
93.3: My step-father (first) is a kindergarten/grade school teacher (it varies) and I attribute his general awesomeness at the cleverness of gift giving to that. He and my mother did the disguised presents thing, but what I loved the most were the name tags that subtly referenced whatever the present was* - occasionally it meant you did guess what was inside but it was just a lot of fun.
(For instance, a pack of paints might be from 'Vincent,' etc. Though always more clever than that example...)
|| This is a somewhat off-topic query for the blog's classicists/those who have studied Latin. What is the best desktop dictionary for an eighth grade beginning student of Latin? Are there any books that you would recommend to spark her interest?
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You can't know the grade level and location of a child.
108: When I was an 8th grade beginning Latin student I'm pretty sure I had this one, and I guess it was fine especially for the price, though this would probably be a nice step up (and this yet another step up, probably too much for an 8th grader, who's going to want to have English-Latin).
I had no idea what "n.b." stood for until I took a class
I had a professor who pronounced it with a ridiculous Italian-ish accent, along the lines of Mario in the videogame Mario Kart ("I'm ah-Mario! I'm ah-gonna win!"). There was even a wind-up into the word, "ah-nota bennay." So I now I hear him saying that in my head every time I read "n.b."
Thank you, potchkeh! I should have said English-Latin. I had found the Cassell's via Amazon, and people seem to like it, but the Bantam New College seems to have its acolytes as well.