Whatever works for you, heebster, but I think slapping can be an element in all kinds of sex, not just heterosexual sex.
Also, even as heterosexuals, there's nothing preventing you from indulging in the sounds of sodomy. Under most legal codes I'm aware of, it's not about the gender of the participants, it's about the acts. (Slapping does not, I believe, qualify, but all sorts of other things do.)
"Sodomy -- It Doesn't Have To Be Gay!" sounds like a slogan for something, but I'm not sure what the context would be.
Oh, neb and LB. I'm not sure that's what heebie meant by "slapping".
4. Straight supporters of marriage equality in Ireland, I'd think. Once they stop laughing long enough to make the placards.
I'm concerned that no one is describing the sounds for E. Messily. But something has occurred to me! You know how Evelyn Glennie keeps time by playing barefoot, so she can feel the rhythm?
Dame Evelyn Glennie DBE. I didn't know that.
the grunty slapping sounds of heterosexual sex
I love this phrase. I return to court tomorrow for a case in which adult children from prior marriages had to testify about whether their parent and step parent were making the grunty slapping sounds of heterosexual sex.
They couldn't have run out of court fast enough.
Is that the real question of the post? Do your children hear you having sex? Or maybe what is your position on your children hearing you have sex? Necessary trauma for them? Part of a healthy childhood? Helping to support therapists?
I occasionally realize that I have no idea if our kids hear us having sex, either at all or so as to guess what's going on. And then I can't think of anything particular to do about it, or that I should do about it, so I think about something else.
So, how did you decide on "Buck" for your husband?
My parents were pretty discrete about things (I certainly can't remember anything unambiguous sounding to anyone around the ages in question). But I think it would probably have been pretty scarring given my mother's total incapacity to say whatever name she meant to say when there's more than one person present. I got (usually in an annoyed tone) called the name of basically everyone in my family when I was a kid, including the dog's name on at least one occasion.
My parents were pretty discrete about things
Mine were continuous.
I see "discreet" and "discrete" mixed up so much that even a correct use looks wrong to me now.
14: Answering straight, his request. I had been calling him Mr. Breath, and he thought that was dull, and suggested "Buck" as both more entertaining and as arguably a version of his last name.
15: There are solutions.
Some Phd student should have studied which groups of people or kinds of people have sex when the kids can hear and which go to great lengths to hide it.
I heard that Buck had, like, seven goddamn points.
Back to the OP, you really have to wonder about the anti-gay movement in Ireland. Don't they have any sense of what's going to sound absurd to anyone who isn't completely on board with them already?
I'm concerned that no one is describing the sounds for E. Messily.
Me too! Let's go, slackers!
I will also entertain offers to let me stand next to you while you engage in unholy acts, so I can feel the echoes through my bare feet.
I will also entertain offers to let me stand next to you while you engage in unholy acts, so I can feel the echoes through my bare feet
Well, now we know what to do at the next meetup.
Reposting from the wrong thread because others may be able to weigh in:
"At this very moment the liberal agenda conspires to undermine God's Word and is drafting law to allow homosexuals to adopt children," the leaflet warns, urging voters to contact their representatives.
I think my personal fun ranking is
1. sodomy
2. undermining God's word
3. adopting children
but I'm admittedly being pretty selfish and could see any other version working too.
And I've definitely exposed children to the sounds of my 3, someday they'll recognize also 2, but pretty sure not 1.
I was really saddened that, at my Rural State Pride Parade, the only people who mentioned sodomy were the Christian protesters. All the queers talked about was corporate sponsors and how beautiful everyone's kids were.
I mean, if we're trying to recruit, maybe we should play to our strengths.
Not entirely off point, we have two dogs, male and female, both post-op. The female is larger and older, and mounts the male from time to time. They both seem to enjoy it that way. At least once, they seemed to take turns in the dom position. Our son finds this completely fascinating, so perhaps some day he will be open minded about varieties of human experiences.
Hello darkness, my old friend
I've come to talk with you again
Because a vision softly creeping
Left its seeds while I was sleeping
And the vision that was planted
In my brain still remains
With the sounds of sodomy
In restless dreams, I walked alone
Narrow streets of cobblestone
'Neath the halo of a street lamp
I turned my collar to the cold and damp
When my eyes were stabbed by the flash
Of a neon light that split the night
And touched the sounds of sodomy
And in the naked light I saw
Ten thousand people, maybe more
People talking without speaking
People hearing without listening
People writing songs that voices
Never shared and no one dared
Disturb the sounds of sodomy
"Fools", said I, "You do not know
Silence like a cancer grows
Hear my words that I might teach you
Take my arms that I might reach you"
But my words, like silent raindrops fell
And echoed in the wells of sodomy
And the people bowed and prayed
To the neon god they made
And the sign flashed out its warning
In the words that it was forming
And the sign said, The words of the prophets are
Written on the subway walls
And tenement halls
And whispered in the sounds of sodomy
Should children be exposed to this beastly obsession with unholy acts?
I consider busybodying about in other people's bedrooms to be unholy, so I'm going with no on this one.
32 to 24, too.
Given the gender ratio of DC meetups coupled with the suggestion that the next one should be at E. Messily's, I think this would work out splendidly.
And I just found out that the lyric is not "Fools I do not know."
The lyrics in comment 30 would have been improved dramatically if the opening line had just been changed to "Hello homos, my old friends". After that, everything ties together nicely.
Also "sodomy like a cancer grows", yeah?
Yes to 37 but I don't know about "like sodomy raindrops fell."
The Sounds of Sodomy. NOTE: The sounds don't begin until the 2:45 point, so hang in there. It's worth it.
Hey, we can improve those lyrics, yes, but we can't make them actually good.
35: So you can skip out on the sodomy demo? Where's your dedication to reasonable accommodation?
42: Given the OP, presumably he's deciding whether they'll need a babysitter.
43: See, that's the spirit: could be multitasking!
Oh dear, the homegrown nutters have been spotted by the neighbours.
What's good is that it exposes the more plausible "Of course I don't mind but what about the children" "traditional marriage" crowd as merely a less spittle-flecked version of the same thing.
They're probably especially incensed because full adoption rights for same sex couples will be brought in by legislation before the referendum, precisely so that they can't say it's about that.
the homegrown nutters
It's a comfort to the Americans knowing that we're not the only ones.
I like to think we're still better at it though. (It's not just raining men anymore!)
Christ, the OP and these comments are cracking me up.
This seemed like the appropriate thread to mention that the unfoggeteriat is now an accomplice in the corruption of youth. I took the advice of several esteemed commenters, with slight modifications, and it seemed to do the trick. Being explicit about the open relationship was really important, as it turns out 18 yo views infidelity as the biggest sin in a relationship. I repeated dinner and drinks one night and managed to bring up only semi awkwardly that I was in an open relationship and free to sleep around. 18 yo's mind was completely blown. Some more flirting happened that night but nothing more. Then next night was yet again a repeat, and 18 yo brings up the open relationship again and we discuss the parameters and how it works, and I reassure him that it's because my relationship with Mr. R is solid that we are willing to allow stuff on the side.
The actually seduction of The Youth was painfully slow, as I completely underestimated how nervous the 18 yo might be to actually make a move. At 11:30 pm he knocks on my door and asks if I want to watch a movie. I assumed this was code for make out while movie plays, but it turned out he spent the whole movie sitting on my bed in a semi-fetal position assiduously avoiding any actual physical contact. We spent the next two + hours looking up etymologies on his electronic OED, since I mention that English has preserved evidence of an earlier sound shift in his native language, which he at least pretended on being super interested in. After that we move on to about 4 hours of photos before any move actually gets made. In retrospect being forcefully direct on my part earlier in the evening would have been the right move, but I really didn't want to be a lecherous older women.
Anyways, it's the last day, and so far it's been fun and not awkward at all, which I have to say the credit mostly goes to 18 yo for being preternaturally self-possessed. I'm pretty sure if I had had the ovaries to be explicit about my open relationship sooner I could have had a longer fling, but this is way is good too.
p.s. After what felt like some stalled efforts, I had given up on it actually going anywhere, but I feel like 18 yo also ramped up his efforts to get something in before he left, so I really am not sure if I (we) can take all the credit for realizing the plan.
Also, related to the thread, we had a group karaoke night a few nights ago. 18 yo chose Sounds of Silence, and the karaoke video was a montage of scenes from The Graduate, which seemed a bit on the nose.
Yay! Glad to hear things worked out despite the awkwardness.
50: this is where we realise he's a lurker at the Mineshaft.
Hah, I was actually wondering if it would be rude to put up a nosy question if there wasn't any news. Well done preternaturally self-possessed 18 year old, and you too of course.
Well done!?!?
No. Here's to you, Mrs. Robinson!
I've been so tempted all morning to make a joke about how it's lucky Mrs. R's younger pal is 18 and thus not really eligible for being traumatized by sodomy sounds, so now I'm sort of giving in.
Hooray, Mrs. Robinson! 56 beat me to the best way of saying it.
49: Hooray!
Would you be willing to talk a bit about the exact parameters of your arrangement with Mr Robinson? I'm fascinated by how people manage these things.
60: Mrs. R. made him wear headphones to spare him.
Yay, Mrs. R. Nice job getting what you wanted in what sounds like adorably awkward fashion.
62: I join Togolosh in his nosiness.
Would you be willing to talk a bit about the exact parameters of your arrangement with Mr Robinson?
Do you get free passes for anyone? Or is there an age range? As many 18-25 year olds as you can catch?
I like the idea of catch-and-release for those below the 1/2 your age + 8 rule.
Replacing the campsite rule with the fishing rule.
We spent the next two + hours looking up etymologies on his electronic OED, since I mention that English has preserved evidence of an earlier sound shift in his native language,
Next step: see if Penthouse Forum will run a letter that includes this bit.
I feel like 18 yo also ramped up his efforts to get something in before he left
I cannot *believe* no one's done anything with this since this morning. Standards are slipping around here!
70: Leave nothing but footprints, take nothing but photos??
Why should the rule apply to a situation like this?
Oh wait, that's the hiking rule, not the campsite. Something about making sure the fire is out before you go to sleep?
"Pack it in, pack it out" is maybe more appropriate for innuendo.
Remember, even if he looks spent, your lover might still be burning with desire for you. Pour water over him and stir thoroughly.
Only YOU can prevent sexy conflagration.
Replacing the campsite rule with the fishing rule.
SCUBA rule: take only pictures, leave only bubbles.
70: Constant effort better than constant catch.
I'm astounded that worked. At 18, when someone explained that he was in an open relationship, I never believed it. (When the spouse *not* pursuing me explained it, sure.) Personal differences, gender difference, 20 years of modern society, the irresistible appeal of Mrs Robinson, etc.
Perhaps Mrs Robinson's young man finds it easier to believe a woman's claim that her marriage is open than a young woman would find it to believe a man's.
If I know me, it sounds like something that I would lie about.
Though perhaps clew was pursued by grooms and brides, I dunno.
62, 66
Sure. I think for me it works because Mr. R is one of the most decent people I know, and I trust him absolutely. I'm reasonably decent, but Mr. R being so decent also makes me not want to do anything that would hurt/betray his trust. The parameters are not super well defined, but they're roughly, we can fool around when we're separated for long periods of time (4+ months), nothing serious, nothing that is dishonest or misleading to the person we're hitting on, nothing with a mutual friend or regular person in our "normal" lives, and we have to be honest & upfront with each other. The person not having a fling has the right to know as much or as little as they want to know. If something happens and the other person isn't ok with it or is really jealous, then the activity has to stop.
Mr. R and I actually have different motivations. Mine is that I think a fine reason to have sex is curiosity/desire for experience, and this sort of sex doesn't really overlap with sex in a serious relationship, so there's not inherent reason why you can't have both. Mr. R is from a culture which is significantly more flirtatious than standard American culture, and he likes the idea that he can be free to be as flirtatious as he wants and not have to control himself to make sure he's not sending the wrong message at all times. For him, he likes the idea that it wouldn't be the end of the world if sex were to happen as the end result of flirtation, even if he doesn't ever expect it to happen.
In this case, 18 yo being so borderline inappropriately young helped me actually make the move, because the likelihood he would be a real threat to my relationship with Mr. R is quite slim. The age and life stage difference is great enough that neither of us really would want a relationship with the other, even if we were to find ourselves getting overly infatuated. The fact he's from a country I've studied the language of and spent some time in,* and the fact he's not really my type physically added to the allure of a fling since it heightened my curiosity. Now that it's basically over, 18 yo admitted the same to me, that he basically wanted to sleep with me because was curious as to what it would be like with an older woman, an American, and someone of my physical type.
*maybe I'm exotifying him, but I doubt I'd be as likely to want to sleep with an American 18 yo.
Congratulations!
Also, related to the thread, we had a group karaoke night a few nights ago. 18 yo chose Sounds of Silence
This is even better given the jokes in the other thread.
I think those jokes were in this thread, actually. Unless I'm misunderstanding you.
Oh, of course, and Mrs. Robinson already made that joke. I shouldn't internet when I'm tired. Nevermind.
85: Thanks.
I had a couple of friends who had a don't-ask don't-tell for extracurricular activities out of town, which appeared to work for them.
89
Don't ask don't tell wouldn't work for me, because if something happened I'd much rather know.
In another random twist, tonight ended up being 'meet the parents' night. 18 yo's parents are in the country visiting, and I had zero expectation of meeting them. A local mutual friend invited us all out to dinner together however. A only slightly awkward situation was made a bit more awkward by our mutual friend, who spent the entire night gushing in a rather OTT manner (as is local custom) about how lucky 18 yo was to have become my friend, and what a great influence I was on him.
91. Wait a couple of months and then start auctioning the movie rights.
It was an...uh...interesting evening. 18 yo sent me a text telling me not to let his parents know, then spent the evening joking about how much I liked to drink and sending me meaningful glances. The father kept very lightly flirting with me, and the mother (his ex-wife) and son kept giving him cool looks. It wasn't anything really inappropriate, but I found it really awkward given that I'd just slept with his son. 18 yo was not amused.
91: DADT wouldn't really work for me either because (1) I'd be worried constantly that my partner was off banging other people, and (2) I want to hear the sordid details because it's insanely hot. I fully realize those are potentially contradictory but, you know, multitudes and all that.
94
No, it makes a lot of sense and I feel the same way. And also it would bug way me more to know that my partner had had a shared intimate experience he was keeping from me than to have him sleep with other women.