Re: You Made Me Really Angry, But I'm Sorry I Killed You

1

We host a lot of policy meetings for my job and the facilitators want us to (almost always) replace "but" with "and". That version would look like "What you said made me really angry and I am sorry I yelled at you." No reason to put those two thoughts in opposition if both are true.


Posted by: Megan | Link to this comment | 01-10-15 2:28 PM
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2

That's not a rule of buts.


Posted by: ogged | Link to this comment | 01-10-15 2:29 PM
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3

"I'm sorry." No ifs, ands or buts.


Posted by: Jesus McQueen | Link to this comment | 01-10-15 2:31 PM
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4

I am sorry my comment wasn't strictly on topic. No doubt the moderators will be by shortly to clean that up.


Posted by: Megan | Link to this comment | 01-10-15 2:32 PM
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5

"And" doesn't put the conjoined thoughts on an equal footing, as in the famous example "I got drunk and I drove home".


Posted by: nosflow | Link to this comment | 01-10-15 2:37 PM
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6

"I'm sorry I yelled at you and what you said made me really angry" seems inferior to the reversed order, as found in comment one.


Posted by: nosflow | Link to this comment | 01-10-15 2:39 PM
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7

Anyway, Henley seems right at least as quoted.


Posted by: nosflow | Link to this comment | 01-10-15 2:39 PM
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8

5: Plus, if you change the "and" to a period, you have an entry in the six-word story genre.


Posted by: Jesus McQueen | Link to this comment | 01-10-15 2:40 PM
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9

Angered, I yelled. Sorry. (Your fault.)


Posted by: Jesus McQueen | Link to this comment | 01-10-15 2:43 PM
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10

Sorry, but fuck you. Fuck you, but I'm sorry.

I guess the latter is nicer, if incoherent. Henley is smart.


Posted by: Tim "Ripper" Owens | Link to this comment | 01-10-15 2:51 PM
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11

9 should be read like Jimi's Anger he smiles. It doesn't work part the first 3 words, but sometimes that's enough.


Posted by: CharleyCarp | Link to this comment | 01-10-15 2:52 PM
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12

That was meant sincerely. Henley is smart!

One problem (a different issue) is that at least 85% of the time "I'm sorry" means "I'm not sorry."


Posted by: T"R"O | Link to this comment | 01-10-15 2:53 PM
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13

9: novels one line.


Posted by: nosflow | Link to this comment | 01-10-15 2:53 PM
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14

Henley's Rule of Butts 2: He Who Comes Last


Posted by: nosflow | Link to this comment | 01-10-15 2:54 PM
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15

Shit should that have been "He Who Comes Last Dominates"?


Posted by: nosflow | Link to this comment | 01-10-15 2:55 PM
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16

"I'm sorry I shot your wife, Buttafuoco"


Posted by: Natilo Paennim | Link to this comment | 01-10-15 3:09 PM
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17

Too soon?


Posted by: Natilo Paennim | Link to this comment | 01-10-15 3:11 PM
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18

Heh.


Posted by: Moby Hick | Link to this comment | 01-10-15 3:26 PM
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19


"I've always believed that you say the qualifier first. If you say, 'Now, let's make it plain: the first priority must be that no one who is depending on that for their non-earning years should have it taken away from him, or have it endangered. It is endangered today by the shape that it is in.' So you then can go on and say, 'Now, the program is out of balance. Down the line someplace, can come a very great tragedy of finding the cupboard is bare. Before that happens, let's fix Social Security.'  "

Or, on the subject of welfare: " ' Now, I am not suggesting that we stop welfare tomorrow. So, having qualified with that, let me say, I just have faith in the American people that, if through some set of circumstances welfare disappeared tomorrow, no one would miss a meal. The people in this country, in every community all over, would get together and form emergency committees, and take up the slack. Those are the kind of people they are.'  "


Posted by: Opinionated Ronald Reagan | Link to this comment | 01-10-15 3:41 PM
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20

Henley's Rule of Buts has a parity problem. As in, "I'm sorry, but I applied Henley's Rule of Buts an even number of times," versus, "I applied Henley's Rule of Buts an odd number of times, but I'm sorry."


Posted by: Yawnoc | Link to this comment | 01-10-15 3:48 PM
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21

The nation was astonished when Ronald Reagan shot Joey Buttafuoco, but Joey was surprised.


Posted by: Flippanter | Link to this comment | 01-10-15 3:50 PM
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22

For the grace of God, but there I go.


Posted by: Todd | Link to this comment | 01-10-15 5:02 PM
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23

Love him.


Posted by: Cala | Link to this comment | 01-10-15 8:33 PM
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24

Henley is smart! I have no idea how capable I would be of putting this approach into practice in the moment, though.


Posted by: redfoxtailshrub | Link to this comment | 01-10-15 8:37 PM
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25

Does anybody else get a "Fatal error" message when they click on the link? I get this message however I try to get to Henley's blog.


Posted by: peep | Link to this comment | 01-10-15 8:53 PM
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26

You did, you did and I thank you
But you didn't have to love me like you did.


Posted by: ZZ Apostrotop | Link to this comment | 01-10-15 9:03 PM
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27

That butt you got make me so horny
but my homeboys tried to warn me.


Posted by: apostropher | Link to this comment | 01-10-15 9:06 PM
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28

I was going to do just the cleverest transposition of the parts of the plums poem for Neb but it turns out there's no but in there. I thought there was a but. I am sorry.


Posted by: Mister Smearcase | Link to this comment | 01-10-15 10:00 PM
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29

I have long nurtured the ambition to write a song about my native country with the chorus "And 'sorry''s just the English for 'Fuck off'"

Seriously, a Cambridge NYC dictionary would have

Sorry Fuck You


Posted by: Nworb Werdna | Link to this comment | 01-11-15 6:31 AM
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30

Oh shit. All angle brackets stripped out.


Posted by: Nworb Werdna | Link to this comment | 01-11-15 6:46 AM
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31

Sorry.


Posted by: ogged | Link to this comment | 01-11-15 7:58 AM
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32

28: There's an implicit but.


Posted by: essear | Link to this comment | 01-11-15 8:11 AM
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33

+t... your face.


Posted by: Minivet | Link to this comment | 01-11-15 10:11 AM
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34

Design of darkness to appall, but what?--
If design govern in a thing so small.


Posted by: Frost, Robert | Link to this comment | 01-11-15 10:35 AM
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35

But design of darkness to appal, what?


Posted by: Bertie Wooster | Link to this comment | 01-11-15 11:50 AM
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36

I like this: "Jim's Rule of Buts is about proportion, and being aware just where you are bestowing your grace. We have a deep impulse to bestow it on ourselves, at others' expense, without even realizing it."


Posted by: Sir Kraab | Link to this comment | 01-11-15 2:33 PM
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37

I have promises to keep, and miles to go before I sleep, but the woods are lovely, dark and deep.


Posted by: Tom Scudder | Link to this comment | 01-12-15 8:53 AM
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38

Is 36 from the article?


Posted by: will | Link to this comment | 01-13-15 10:06 AM
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39

38: It is, and it jumped out at me too. I'm trying to keep it in mind more generally.


Posted by: Thorn | Link to this comment | 01-13-15 10:12 AM
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