I could easily make a long list of his great traits...
Clearly nothing to do with me.
while what he says about me is all positive (from what I saw)
Just wait until our correspondent figures out the presidential anonymity system.
I immediately thought of here when I read that yesterday!
I love that column, it's even worth to endure looking at the other headlines as you scroll down.
Past - just in case it was you better half I ADORE you! And you truly loved the "Mi Kado Es Su Kado" joke!
Mine only reads eclectic web magazAAARRRGH
Yep, what Heebie said. And ask him not to do it anymore.
Surely no Unfogged spouse would be so hidebound as to be threatened by an online forum. But there are about a million forums with little communities on any conceivable topic.
Prudence responds:
I don't see how you don't talk about this with your husband.
I, on the other hand, could totally see how she might choose not to discuss it with her husband.
Yeah, I was making a joke, with that in mind.
So THANKS FOR MAKING THAT EXPLICIT, lw.
No humorous rejoinder available here, sorry, and maybe unnecessarily obnoxious. No insult or buzzkill intended.
Also, to continue with the spelling out, writing to a stranger in a newspaper about a personal problem is apparently a category difference in the mind of the OP letter writer from talking to strangers, I guess because of the possibility of leaked identity details and online broadcast.
There's also the possibility of ongoing relationships with the interlocutors in the chat, which isn't really likely with Yoffe.
his includes even personal information about our sex life, my looks, etc.
I wouldn't have thought anybody here does that, exactly. I feel I can talk about myself but that personals involving her would be off limits.
Let's all post our SAT scores, incomes, and a frank assessment of our sex lives and our partners' looks.
Just not our partners' SAT scores, because she did better than me.
But how much control do people imagine they have with face to face interactions? "Don't complain about me to your friends" for instance. This could be a reasonable thing to say, maybe to an SO who is a chronic complainer or to a relative who has trouble distinguishing reality from fantasy and reports a mixture to mutual acquaintances. Or it could be a delusional request originating in paranoia, whether it's reasonable depends on the relationship between relater and the person being talked about more than on the particular sounding board.
Which I guess is the upshot of Yoffe's response also.
Couldn't the person in the OP go to the same chat rooms and start posting under a screen name? Imagine husband when the other poster says something like "you sound a lot like my husband but ..." (i) he wouldn't do something like post her about our private life, or (ii) but sex with my boyfriend is so much better, or whatever. Mess with him a little.
19- She should ask if he likes piña coladas.
AB's known about this place for a long time, and she's not hidebound, but I would certainly not want her to RTFA. Not because I think I've said anything truly inappropriate (under this pseud anyway), but because there's certainly a level of candor that would be discomforting, I suspect.
a frank assessment of our sex lives and our partners' looks.
Wearing a giant fake head?
I feel like maybe somebody should cut out the link in 8. (not bc of my comments, but the rehashing of someone's tough time.)
I guess I should clarify that I appreciated the link for the picture of gswift.
frank assessment of our sex lives and our partners' looks
Mid-divorce. Emotional compatibility seems more important than looks both retrospectively and prospectively, for both light and serious partners. Maybe this is because the ones that were remarkably good looking and light were not great, and for all others looks are inextricably entwined with personality and with interaction style and temperature.
I'm concerned that I'm really going to miss the cat.
I'm also puzzled about why partners looks rather than own looks-- probably that's the more revealing thing to write about, but I'm hard-pressed to say why.
I'm also puzzled about why partners looks rather than own looks
"This includes even personal information about our sex life, my looks, etc."
Isn't the idea "Things for which you would get in trouble if your partner read them?"
So as long as you keep mum about your side piece, you should be fine.
Or I guess, as long as you don't say anything positive about the side piece.
a) so I am batting 0 today, SAT score and income UNLIKE the rest of the list, got it.
b) 25.emotional stands, I think-- the OP would have cause for concern if the chats were a search for empathy rather than an assessment of how much cowgirl. Really, she could have cleared up a lot of questions by just posting a link to the chats that she's uncertain of, or screenshots or something.
It's all fine and good up until the point where you make your spouse wear a skin mask of the face of another commenter while you have sex.
Celebrity masks are still good, right?
Presidential masks would be most appropriate.
Latex celebrity masks are fine. If you had to skin the celebrity to make the mask, it's still creepy.
(Also, if you're asking a spouse to wear a presidential mask, it's only courteous to make it clear whether you're fantasizing about the actual president in question, an anonymized Unfogged commenter, or a bank robber from a caper movie.)
Is it a caper movie or a heist movie? Is a caper a kind of heist (or vice-versa)?
Further to 34: what's the ruling on masturbation if the fantasies are either commentariat or caper based, but the president whose mask it is is dead?
Is it a caper movie or a heist movie? Is a caper a kind of heist (or vice-versa)?
A heist is a kind of caper. For example, "The Sting" is a caper movie but not a heist movie, as the caper in question is a con, not a heist; "The Italian Job" is both a caper movie and a heist movie.
It's an interestingly retro ethical stance that "one does not bandy a lady's name", but I am willing to bet that it isn't one that the letter writer abides by herself. Is it better to discuss one's wife anonymously, positively, to strangers, or to discuss one's husband, negatively, in person, to friends?
A movie with a heist but no con element would still be a caper movie, right? Trying to think of a good example to round out my Venn diagram.
I would just say that it was poor planning for the spouse to bitchily comment from, and then leave the tabs open on, her brother's his wife's ipad. GOD I STILL FEEL SO BAD. WHY?@?11?
strikethough meant to end after "her brother's," obviously, but I don't feel like logging in to fix it.
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Argh. You know how I'm always cooing smugly over my kids' delightful inner-city public school? Both of their schedules for next year are royally fucked up in a really inexcusable way (combination of internal school requirements and some classes not being offered next year has left both of them assigned to literally retake a class each of them has already taken (and passed, in both cases with high marks, the Regents (NY State external exam) in) and I'm going to have to go throw a hissy fit about it. I do not understand how the school can have thought this was acceptable.
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A movie with a heist but no con element would still be a caper movie, right?
Yes - "The Italian Job" doesn't have a con element, it's just a straightforward bit of robbery.
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Recent decisions by the new UK government regarding the Human Rights Act strongly supported by the Daily Express and Daily Mail in on of the most revealing ways possible?
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most revealing ways possible
Well, sure, if it wasn't revealing, it wouldn't be no-cleavage cleavage.
45: ugh. The rubber room, only for kids.
and J,Robot: that sucks--I hope things develop in the right direction for you!
46: Oh, right. So, heist but no con = Italian Job. Con but no heist = The Sting. Both con and heist: Ocean's Eleven (remake, haven't seen original). All three are caper films, so either element is sufficient for the definition.
So what the hell are capers, anyway?
There's a line in Heartburn where the narrator, a food writer, talks about having been hired by the Caper Board to develop appealing caper recipes. After a while, she came to the conclusion that anything that tasted good with capers in it, tasted slightly better if you left the capers out.
Ages ago, but, you know, not long enough ago to make it make sense, I saw CA was studiously avoiding the capers on a bagel tray. He likes pickles and pimientos and thing of that nature so I had no idea why he would be actively digging out things that weren't touching the capers. The answer? He had thought, for 30+ years, that they were a kind of fish.
Back when Sally was a vegetarian a couple of years back, she stopped eating felafel from the cart near her school. She was outraged months later when I told her it wasn't meat.
He had thought, for 30+ years, that they were a kind of fish.
That's amazing. Like a kind of fish egg, maybe? Or ... fully-formed fish?
I had always thought felafel was a type of meat, but I had it confused with that spinning-meat-stick stuff.
But, yes, capers don't look very much like fish at all.
I see a marketing opportunity: meat-free falafels.
Would you like a bottle of organic, no-trans-fats, zero-calorie water with that?
Lots of fish don't really look like fish at the end of the (whatever) process - I can see someone associating capers with anchovies* and assuming that they were basically the same kind of briny thing, anyway.
*When I was a kid there was a local pizza place that had a pizza with capers on it. It was magnificent. I've tried to replicate it but they clearly used some totally non-standard combination of cheese so it never turns out the same.
Capers are awesome. Since this has become a food thread, what, if anything, do people make of a recent-ish trend toward eating bugs? This seems to be mostly in the form of mealworms rendered into a tofu-like, or tempeh-like, patty thing.
I watched that pbsnewshour segment, and while the young gentleman food scientist explaining the whole thing was clearly on top of his game, I couldn't get over my Yuck factor.
If something that looked like a shrimp or a crawfish lived on land, I'd likely be grossed out at the thought of eating it, but since they're aquatic, bon appetit. So clearly the solution to the Yuck factor is to genetically engineer bugs to live under water.
Or rechristen them. Land shrimp à la Toby from Year of the Flood.
she stopped eating felafel
LB is secretly B/ill O'Re/illy?
51: yeah, I would say any film involving a complex, multi-person, light hearted crime is a caper film. "Heat" is not a caper film. Nor is "The Day of the Jackal".
Falafel? That does look better. But I know it's not a loofah.
Every heist is a caper, but not every caper is a heist.
Schindler's List was an excellent caper movie.
I thought the little girl who capered in Schndler's List
was {appropriate emoticon} shot
62 - My guess is that it will make some news articles, some adventurous people will have a good time trying them out, and then it will sink back into obscurity until maybe ten years from now when we'll do the whole thing over again. (I'm pretty sure I've read articles about a new thing - eating insects! more than a few times and it always seems to stick at "new thing" and never progress onwards to "actual thing".)
62: I got a minicomic at one APE about trying this out. Not mashed or anything - mealworm tacos, I think the recipe was. It looked intriguing.
69: surely a heist by force majeur rather than cunning isn't a caper.
74: Is it even a heist if it's by pure force? I don't think, for example, leading a tank squadron into the casino would count.
It's probably a misdemeanor of some kind, at least.
What if the tank is driven by Donald Sutherland?
So is San Andreas going to be a heist movie or a caper movie?
Is it even a heist if it's by pure force? I don't think, for example, leading a tank squadron into the casino would count.
Oh, definitely. A heist is just a large-scale robbery. A heist by means of tank is still a heist but probably not a caper. A heist by means of cunning and deception might be a caper but might not be, depending on the general tone.
It could definitely be a caper, if "by means of tank" were liberally interpreted to include the tank as diversion.
I think "Kelly's Heroes" is a caper movie and a heist movie despite involving tanks being used not as diversions but as actual tanks.
I would agree, because Telly Savalas is driving the tank.
That's right. Telly was the crooked Sergeant.
I can see a tank being somehow made to fit, even without deception involved, but I think ajay's "lighthearted" is important, so to clew, I guess my point is force majeure is hard, if not impossible, to balance with lightheartedness.
I can't quite come up with a specific caper movie moment I'm thinking of, but there's a lighthearted role for overwhelming force as an unexpected rescue. Think of the moment in Firefly when two of the characters are cornered against a cliff edge by an angry mob, and then the spaceship slowly rises behind them to pick them up and frighten the mob away.
I have a rule about never watching a snow until the 4th season, so I've never seen Firefly.
If you count spring as the first season, that's a fairly common rule.
