I use the same "socially trapped" method, and like you find it easier to keep rolling forward if I'm in a car. When I'm walking, it's often as I'm leaving the grocery store, and I'll pass off the change I got when I paid for groceries.
I've bought into "it's their life, they can spend it however they want," but that does increase my unease about enabling "bad" choices. And... I don't know. In discussions around here, I've seen the sneering about being happy to pay for a middle class person to administer programs for the poor instead of just giving them the money and letting them solve the problems in the order they see fit. I give to food banks, since there's so much need locally--but I sometimes wonder if it's for the same impulse, to give money in a form that I know will manifest as "right".
Yes, I'm totally inconsistent. I'd much rather handle things as a society than helping individuals by chance.
I give more or less at random to panhandlers. I assume that most of the time my donation goes to a nice bottle of Mad Dog 20/20 or something similar, but if all I'm doing is buying the dude a few addled hours that's fine. In his or her shoes I'd be drinking heavily, too.
and so it is pretty easy for me to be an ostrich
It's not so easy here. Some of the panhandlers are very aggressive. They'll see me and head straight toward me from tens of yards away. This usually happens on the way to or from the bar when there are few people out. I sometimes give but I always say no to those who are active like that.
I don't donate to panhandlers on aesthetic principles. My principle is that when choosing between various ways to make donations, avoid methods that make my own life less pleasant. Panhandlers make my life in the city where I work and walk less pleasant. I donate to homeless shelters, literacy programs, affordable housing and other local organizations that serve the same general community from which the panhandlers come, but probably don't serve the same individuals. Whether the individuals served by official charities are more less "deserving" or "needy," whatever those words could mean, is not knowable.
I remember one woman who asked for money to feed her kids who she said were waiting for her under an overpass. I gave her a few dollars. If I believed her, I should have either given her much more money (or called 911). If I didn't believe her, I should have given her nothing (and called 911 for a different reason). Anyway, I took the average of two distinct choices, which makes as much sense in life as it does in statistical analysis, but fuck it.
I tend to give when I have change or a dollar or two in my pocket, so I sometimes remember to keep a dollar or two in the pockets of jackets and coats in cool weather.
There is a jittery and twitchy but harmless older man who occasionally stands by the door of the nearby Starbucks, opening it for people and shaking a cup of loose change, whom I'll occasionally buy a hot chocolate. The first time,* I asked whether he would like coffee but he asked for hot chocolate and specified small, small, with such piercing urgency that if I weren't such a callous cool urban dude would probably make me start crying to remember.
* If memory serves, TWYRCL was with me and got to witness the grossly awkward and uncomfortable body language of me struggling with the knowledge that doing the right thing required me to introduce myself to a stranger and ask a question.
sneering about being happy to pay for a middle class person to administer programs for the poor instead of just giving them the money and letting them solve the problems in the order they see fit.
I think this sneering is unfair since, in a lot of cases, the reason they are penniless and homeless in the first place is that the way that they saw fit to solve their problems when they had some money was not necessarily a very good way to actually solve problems.
I am not sure whether we have more or fewer beggars than the US but US beggars seem on average to be much less firmly attached to reality.
That's because a largish number of them are mentally ill. I think we had that discussion recently.
A friend recently said to me, if someone asks you for something which you can easily give, why not give it to them? So then I figured, I see many panhandlers from a distance, but I actually get approached by around ten a month, tops. So if I give each one (the equivalent of) a couple of bucks, I can spare myself the deliberation and not be out a lot of money at all. I don't give to those who feel too aggressive, though.
A friend recently said to me, if someone asks you for something which you can easily give, why not give it to them?
That may work with panhandlers, but it you tried it with family or coworkers, you'd never have time for a life.
I think the rule should be "if someone asks for something you can easily give and they can't get it themselves, why not give it to them?" Because otherwise you'll be fetching shit for nine-year-old kids and the junior people at work will always bother you.
Or, even better "if someone asks for something you can easily give and they aren't the third person to ask you the same thing that day and they can't afford to pay your consulting fee and they can't get it themselves, why not give it to them?"
On the way to the market where I do my shopping every weekend, there's this one guy who's always in the same spot (at one end of a bridge, which seems symbolic of...something or other). I've settled into a habit of giving him a dollar whenever I have one in my wallet.
Other than that, I'm completely random about it.
I give to panhandlers inconsistently. I went through a period where even when I intended to refuse someone I tried to make eye contact and say, "not today, but good luck to you," and that always got a positive response, but I just got tired and now don't do that as much anymore, although I do sometimes. Once, during yoga teacher training, I went to someone sitting on the ground in a train station who was not asking for help and asked him if I could do anything for him, and that was an interesting experience. We had to pass through about five minutes of mistrust and hostility and him insisting that he wasn't asking for anything and me repeating I knew that he wasn't; I was just offering before he said okay I could buy him a sandwich (he seemed too exhausted from alcohol consumption to get up to buy his own sandwich). By the end of the interaction he seemed sincerely touched, and also happy to have a sandwich. Then another homeless guy was all, "I saw what you did for that man!" and proceeded to hit me up, too. And I was like, Jesus. I'm not buying a whole nother sandwich. So I gave him two dollars, and he seemed a little disappointed.
But I really wanted to post a comment to talk about this conversation I had with an eight-year-old Californian the other day, inspired by the theme of difficult conversations with kids:
EYOC: Did the Twin Towers blow up?
Tia: They did. I was in New York at the time.
EYOC: Was it cool?
Tia: No, it was very sad. A lot of people died.
EYOC: Are there movies of the people falling to their death?
Tia: Yeah, I think there are.
EYOC's mom: We're not watching them!
It's so weird to be old enough that this thing that happened when I was an adult is a distant, near fictional event to a little boy, who is nonetheless old enough to know about it.
I usually don't give, but my ability to feel okay doing so hinges on also giving to organizations specifically helping the homeless, since they're among the harder-to-market of charitable causes, especially singletons / older people / people with mental health and substance use issues.
My parents taught me the New York blank, but that seemed to tick people off here in the Bay. My learned response now is to wince and say "Sorry".
I am not sure whether we have more or fewer beggars than the US but US beggars seem on average to be much less firmly attached to reality.
Remember the thread on deinstitutionalization?
I rarely give money and I sometimes don't feel great about it. My semi-conscious reason is that, here, homeless people are everywhere and you get asked for money at least once a day and the idea of choosing when/whom to give and when/whom forces me to think about lots of unpleasant things so I avoid it by not giving at all. That's not so great.
I had a whole blog post about subway panhandlers in NYC.
I have a regular routine of buying the Spare Change newspaper from a couple of local vendors, which is a tiny amount - a dollar, once or twice a week, and I don't worry about whether it's an issue I already have.
Somehow this makes me feel a little less bad about the awkward situation of the road-median panhandler who holds up a sign and walks next to the cars stopped at the light, trying to make eye contact with everybody.
For a short time I got dollar coins from the bank to have a few on me at all times with the specific intention of giving out. Partly because I love dollar coins. That didn't last, though.
I am pretty much Smearcase. I don't like fumbling money out of my wallet while at close quarters with someone interacting aggressively with me, and I don't like distinguishing between panhandlers on any of the bases I would end up distinguishing between them on.
And I really need to up my charitable giving, which is erratic, impulsive, and insufficient.
I give inconsistently, on the basis of a superficial judgement as to how likely this individual is to be hopelessly addicted or scamming, possibly scamming for someone else's profit. I don't feel at all guilty about judging superficially, usually make eye contact and nod or say have a good day.
If I have time and there's a carryout nearby, I'll ask whether they'd like some food or a coffee.
the little darlings are fascinated by
Murder, Your Darlings was the first draft of the script for the Murder, She Wrote pilot.
How do you guys handle panhandlers?
I manhandle them, as in:
How many panhandlers would a manhandler manhandle,
If a manhandler could manhandle panhandlers?
I used to be like Smearcase in 16, but I've moved more in 9's direction and will adopt it wholeheartedly. No longer living in Chicago has made the math work better. There are a couple panhandlers I recognize around here who I won't give to, though, as they really appear to be in the terminal stage of addiction.
Really, though, I should be better about giving to charity. I'm pretty terrible in this regard.
Heywood Broun was apparently a soft touch for repeated giving.
On the topic, I've mostly adopted a politely acknowledge and say sorry policy, maybe because I grew up in an area with a lot of panhandling and I saw lots of people do that. I've been chewed out for it a couple of times by people screaming that I'm not really sorry but there's not much I can do about that.
Last time that happened the guy approached me with what I thought was going to be one of those newspapers people sell for a dollar but it turned out to be a few pages from a regular paper and the guy was probably trying to look like he was trying to do something other than aggressively approach people and then scream at them.
I don't get asked for food often but try to give that if I can.
I have had moments of wanting to print out sheets of where the shelters and soup kitchens are and hand those out when asked for change but it's the worst kind of paternalistic bullshit. They know where that stuff is. It's not exactly that I care how they spend the money (I do give once in a while, and then wonder if I'm just assuaging my guilt...really no way to win) because addiction isn't some glib choice people have made. It just puts me in touch with the futility of the whole thing, my fifty cents versus everything, everything, everything. And I spend my workday in touch with selfsame futility so sometimes my brain just issues a blanket "nope."
Maybe I'll revise my policy to comment 9. I don't know.
I remember one woman who asked for money to feed her kids who she said were waiting for her under an overpass. I gave her a few dollars. If I believed her, I should have either given her much more money (or called 911). If I didn't believe her, I should have given her nothing (and called 911 for a different reason). Anyway, I took the average of two distinct choices, which makes as much sense in life as it does in statistical analysis, but fuck it.
This is EXACTLY the situation that spawned the post. Her father had just died (within the hour at the nearby hospital?), they needed gas money to get home from the hospital, had a lot of kids who were offstage somewhere.
I'm pretty unfriendly about panhandlers, honestly. I don't really make eye contact or break stride. I rarely have cash, and I usually have my wallet zipped into a backpack. There was a guy outside Starbucks that I'd buy hot chocolate for once week a few winters ago.
When I was a child visiting my grandparents in CA, I used to find panhandlers pretty frightening. The town passed ordinances when I was a teenager that they weren't allowed to touch you or block your way, which helped, but I remember being a kid and trying to duck around towering homeless "veteran with AIDS" guys blocking my path and yelling. (Quotation marks just repeating what the guys' signs usually said. For all I know it was entirely true.)
So there, everyone is more compassionate than I am!
And like Mobes, I averaged the two distinct choices, and it came to $3. Which I found in my purse.
I give money and Gatorades sometimes, but its a bit different for me as its usually when I'm on the job and to people I know by name.
Well, hopefully, because the alternative is far worse. It's totally risk aversion. If the worst is true, at least I didn't completely ignore somebody in terrible need. If it is fraud, I haven't been taken for much.
33: Gatorade because alcoholics need to restore their electrolyte balance?
When people say the money's for food and I have food on me, like a granola bar, I'll often give it to them. One single time I bought a guy a family meal at a fried chicken fast food place. That was my good deed for the year. I probably give something to fewer than a quarter of the panhandlers I see. I have the sense that I should be more charitable, maybe to panhandlers and definitely to charitable organizations.
I've had a couple encounters with kids close to my house asking for money. Not just in my neighborhood, in front of my house two days ago and four doors over a few months ago. I didn't know them, and they didn't look crazy, malnourished or homeless, as far as I could tell it was just opportunistic. (Hard to be sure about any of that and I'm sure my guesses say something about me, but still.) I said no in both cases. Definitely seemed weird.
31: I didn't believe her, but I was totally socially ensnared - she'd waived me over to her car window, as if asking directions, and so there was eye contact and words said outloud and everything. If there'd been a hedge behind me, I would have tried to retreat wordlessly through it, Homer-style.
I get out of that sort of social ensnaring with "No, thank you." It makes no sense, but it's effective.
I believe 4 is the rational and correct approach, and also have had Smearcase's attitude in the past, PLUS there is probably an inverse correlation between most adept panhandler and neediest homeless person, PLUS panhandling is actually a genuine and real problem for bad neighborhoods, PLUS panhandling is largely keeping folks away from social services organizations that can give them real help.
But with all that said after a while I realized that I felt better by uniformly giving at least some money when asked and that it's a way of feeling more human and less bad about my myriad of personal failings, even if it doesn"t really make sense. So I do give money, but basically for selfish reasons. While feeling bad about it and glad that others aren't doing the same.
35: Mostly it's the street girls who are drug addicts rather than alcoholics and often they're not real good about planning things like hydration while walking the circuit in the summer. And the ones on meth tend to have a bit of a sweet tooth. In the winter often I'll give them a burger or a Clif bar.
I either give quarters or dollar bills, wince and say sorry, smile and say good luck, or offer one of Φ's granola bars that live in the car. That last will probably be a good way to start the conversation with her when she asks. We share food!
I do generally prefer not to be told a bullshit sob story in advance, however. And I refuse to give a dime to people like e.g. the crusty punks on Telegraph Avenue in Berkeley who had signs like "need money for weed" and could be observed getting into Mom's Volvo at the end of he day.
I haven't seen crusty punks around here in a while. Maybe they all either bought a $10,000 house or left?
There's been a pretty big push to get people not to give money to panhandlers downtown. That this aligns with my general stinginess makes compliance all the easier.
AIISIHSHB, I give money pretty regularly, without any expectation of what will happen to it. Basically I give as an acknowledgement that the person in front of me exists at that moment. That fleeting connection to humanity is it. I can't control what they spend the money on and I don't really care unless it hurts others.
I don't give to angry, shouty people, and rarely to the litany of young heroin addicts that hang out in Philadelphia. If someone is really in good shape, I sometimes give the gimlet-eyed stare: "Does your grandmother know you are out here asking strangers for money?" That works quite well.
I had very unpleasant experience with a panhandler in DC this week. He came up, said "Excuse me, ma'am" and I said "Not tonight, sorry," and he flipped out and started yelling at me. He moved on to someone else in front of my hotel and I slipped inside. I wish I had a video of it to show all of the "But whyyyyyy aren't women open to talking to men on the street?" crowd. BECAUSE WE HAVE NO IDEA WHICH ONES WILL TURN INTO SHOUTY MANIACS, THAT'S WHY.
One of the really odd things about Arrakis is the complete absence of any beggars on the streets. So different from my previous experience living in Morocco and Cairo. No police presence to see here either (completely unlike Cairo in that respect), they just make sure the native Freemen have good stipends and outsiders from professionals like myself to construction laborers have jobs.
When I was in Morocco I'd give to beggars. And I found it really moving to see Moroccans who were obviously dirt poor themselves toss a few coins to those much less fortunate than even they were.
I didn't give when I lived in NYC though. Totally with Smearcase and LB. The idea of rooting around for spare change or a couple of dollar bills just did not appeal.
"But whyyyyyy aren't women open to talking to men on the street?"
#notallpanhandlers
I don't give to angry, shouty people, and rarely to the litany of young heroin addicts that hang out
That was basically the two kinds I most often saw in NYC.
There were two panhandlers who always worked Bryant Park, a Vietnam vet type and an old grandma type, I never gave anything to them because I thought if I did then they'd really bother me as I used to eat my lunch there regularly but I always did say sorry sir or m'am.
47 I was struck by how different Sanaa and Aden were in this regard 7 years ago. People told me is was because of Communism. Aden's probably enough of a wreck now, though . . .
I give, but only a minority of times. I tend to feel awful about it either way, because it means we've failed someone. But yeah, then it's their money and they can use it how they like. When I don't giv I usually do the "sorry sir/ma'am", not that that helps anyone.
I pretty much give a couple dollars to anyone who asks; but that said, the people asking around here are not young shouty addicts. They're all older, battered men and women. Maybe some are buying drugs and alcohol with it. IDK and IDC. (I would, in their place. Hell yeah.) I'd give more if I could afford it. Sometimes I even do -- I gave one woman a twenty once, because she looked so sad.
If that makes me a sucker, then it does.
I also give regularly to Kiva.
4 and 40.1 seem basically right to me. I'm not that interested in feeling good about myself as a human being, though.
I tend not to give, but I can't really articulate why. There are a lot of panhandlers on highway on-ramps, and my kids really want to give them money.
They also tend to refer to them as "little buddies," as in, "Oh, look at that poor little buddy! He needs money and someplace to live!" And while I like the sympathy for one's fellow man, I'm not sure how to explain the concept of being patronizing and dignity and all that.
I should just give them a damn dollar, shouldn't I? (The panhandler, not the kids.)
Twice, in DC, panhandlers approached me to hand me a note about how they were deaf and stranded and needed some money for gas & food. One of them turned out to actually be deaf, but had a very unconvincing story about what exactly was going on. The other one gave up as soon as I started signing.
I give people a dollar or two (or a handful of change) if I have it and it's handy and they don't give me an aggressive pitch. I feel like, I would give someone who seemed to be of my own economic and social class a dollar or two (if they needed it for parking or were short at the ice cream stand or something), so I should therefore give some money to anyone who asks me. And otherwise I try to vote for people who might do something to make things better and give money to food banks and community centers.
I had heard that there's a gang forcing Mexican people who are deaf into begging and taking the money.
Aw, emdash, give your kids a dollar too.
(I'm a hypocrite here. I don't give my kid money, I make her work for it.)
OTOH, she's not poor and old and on the street. I mean, I *am* giving her food and clothes and such. And I paid for her haircut this morning. Plus I'm paying for her dental care next week. What moochers these kids are, when you think about it.
Well, I'm glad we've reached comity on panhandlers lying to us about buying food rather than drugs, at least.
You'd think that would be common sense, but maybe not. (I have the sense I've told this story before, but can't find it anywhere.) One spring afternoon last year Cassandane and I were having a leisurely late lunch/snack at the Union Station food court. As we ate, some lady started hovering around our table. I thought the place might be full and she was waiting for us to vacate the table, but no, there were plenty free. I asked her what was going on and she explained that she had given a begging woman enough money for a sandwich and she was now following the woman around to make sure that she actually bought a sandwich. The beggar had gone to at least two shops but not bought lunch from them for one implausible reason or another, such as them putting mayonnaise on the sandwich when they weren't supposed to, and was now at the third. The lady hovering at our table seemed to take this as a personal insult.
I asked her what was going on and she explained that she had given a begging woman enough money for a sandwich and she was now following the woman around to make sure that she actually bought a sandwich.
That's nuts, and I would never do that. But I have to admit, I can empathize with the thought process. People are irrational and not wanting to be lied to (and not being willing to accept obvious social lies as such) is a predictable irrationality.
Very tangential: anyone know anything about Fauna & Flora International? I cut off my monthly-drip charitable contributions last year when I was out of work and want to get back to that (it was never tons of money but I figure it's worth doing.) The Nature Conservancy gets reasonably high ratings but also pours a kind of staggering sum into fundraising. And I think that's just how things work now, but I also figure it's worth doing a little looking around, and the site I was looking at rates Fauna & Flora very highly.
We're not even expecting anything any more.
I'm mostly in the flinchy group as above, trying to rise to civil some eye contact and small bills when I have them handy. The two rules I can make myself live up to are, a tithe to charity goes out when I make my estimated tax payments, and anyone who makes me smile on the street gets money. Music, patter, affection towards their pet dog, deeply sarcastic signs, whatever: if I can't break a twenty I will hand it over. (This has only happened once, though.)
I usually don't give, but I'm usually dealing with sign-holders while I'm at a red light. The other night I gave a dollar to a guy who approached me on foot and asked for change "for the bus." (He didn't get on a bus, but I didn't believe him anyway.)
In Portland, ME, a few years ago, when I was there for the first time, I went to a restaurant someone recommended. As my car was valeted with the hotel and I'd been enjoying wandering downtown, I decided to walk.
That turned out to be a bad idea; the place was 2.5 miles away and across a long bridge. On my way back it was after dark and clear that the bridge, or under it, was a sizable homeless camp. I passed many people heading that direction, but mostly we didn't bother each other. When I was almost back to a more active part of town, though, one clearly homeless guy stopped me and asked if I could spare some money.
I don't remember if I was lying when I said I wasn't carrying any cash, but after he assured me he wasn't allergic to peanuts I gave him my leftover pad Thai. I expected to be thanked, but I also expected it to be perfunctory or maybe even curt; instead he was brought nearly to tears and told me "God bless you" several times before I was able to walk away.
I'm not sure why I don't give more often. Partly it's inconvenient and partly I resent being asked. Like a lot of people here I'm self-conscious about my meager charitable giving, but all I ever do is maybe-someday it. Even if I did that I'm not sure simply sending a payment is enough. Effective and efficient, yes, but perhaps also a way of segregating myself from unpleasantness.
Arbitrary direct giving to the uncertain end use of panhandlers is maybe not the best way to accomplish anything, but I do think some personal connection to where at least some of my hypothetical future charity goes is desirable. I'm a bit of an introvert, except when I'm drunk, which doesn't seem like the best condition to be in when interacting with the homeless, so pulling a warehouse shift at the food bank would be best. Unfortunately my local one has limited hours that all coincide with my paying job.
Maybe I was just raised Catholic and saw too many pictures of Mother Theresa with poor people, or maybe I should just stfu and write a check and volunteer at a soup kitchen if I'm not satisfied.
Because of Facebook, I know that in Omaha you can buy fireworks to support a local homeless shelter. They really do try to make a way for everyone to do something.
My principle is that when choosing between various ways to make donations, avoid methods that make my own life less pleasant. Panhandlers make my life in the city where I work and walk less pleasant.
This is exactly how I feel when the goddamn fire department is set up at major intersections holding out their buckets and soliciting for charity. Homeless people, on the other hand, really may not have much other choice.
Anyway, the best way to separate the wheat from the chaff among panhandlers is just to suggest that you'll give them some money in exchange for sexual favors. If they're bluffing you, you'll know right away. But if they look like they're seriously considering the offer, just give them some damn money.
70: You might want to print a copy of that comment off to have handy for your lawyer in case you end up doing that to an undercover cop.
Do you make any sort of effort to distinguish panhandlers?
Yeah, I generally give them a red sash, a large golden medal and a doctorate of humane letters.
I feel like I should clarify that when I say I usually try to give people food if they ask for food and I either have some or am about to obtain some*, I mean direct requests for food, not vague "I will use this money for food" requests. Also, there used to be a guy on Telegraph in Berkeley who would repeat "Spare change for beer? Spare change for beer?" He seemed serious and wasn't a young man having a laugh. Maybe an old man having a laugh.
*Most recently, but like a year ago, someone asked me to get them a sandwich at the shop I was entering and I did, though I'm not sure they picked it up after ordering.
I seldom have cash, so I generally respond with eye contact and a "sorry", and I cringe when the light turns yellow as I pull up to an intersection where a panhandler is holding a sign. In my neighborhood, I know the few longtime panhandlers and give them some change just once in a while, because they're decent enough but would hound me if I gave them any more.
The one exception is a guy I grew quite fond of, who used to come to my door asking for work. I hired him to do odd jobs a few times, but mostly I just gave him change, and after a while he just asked for the change. He was quasi-homeless and addicted to something, heroin or crack. He was my age but looked 15 years older, with few and bad teeth—like Bubbles from The Wire, gaunt and always a little out of it, but a really nice guy and always a pleasure to have a brief chat with on the porch. When I apologized for not having much to give once and explained that we were expecting twins, he said, "Twins? Man, I knew you had something going on!" And then when I told him about our daughters being born, he said, "Girls, man, first they step on your feet, and later they step on your heart." A few years ago he lost his son in a gang shooting, got right with God, kicked his addiction, got new teeth and put on 20-30 pounds, so now he looks a lot healthier, and even though his face is etched with wear and sadness, he always has a smile and a kind word. I have huge respect for him.
Like a lot of people here I'm self-conscious about my meager charitable giving, but all I ever do is maybe-someday it.
Let's all post our incomes, SAT scores, and charitable giving!
I meant to give 10% last year, my first with a real income, but ran into difficulties actually donating (PayPal kept giving errors, which sucked because they were doing some matching thing) and then it just got lost in the madness of the big move and suddenly spending tons of money and oh hey I'm 34 with 15k in retirement savings etc. Which is all bullshit, because we have plenty of money and relative financial security for 5 years. So time to actually do something about that.
I'm basically like Smearcase re: panhandling, for similar reasons. Much less of an issue here than in NYC or SF though.
64 and 75 made me laugh and 77.2 made me smile. What a great story.
With regard to street musicians my theory is that you have to give but you should just choose one you see regularly and give to them. Generally don't like percussion instruments because I like my eardrums and don't like anyone playing to prerecorded accompaniment (sorry groovy sax player soloing to a cassette recording of "Time After Time" time after time). There's this Romanian accordion player under the 42nd st Bryant Park station I used to always gave a dollar whenever I saw him which was a few times a week.
The thing I was going to add to 49.last is that I had applied for a job that I really wanted in the area (actually at the same institution I had been working at) and I had it in my mine that I would give each of them like $20 if I got it - kind of magical thinking, I know. Of course I didn't get the job. The Vietnam vet was always very polite and the grandma was just sad. I feel guilty that I should have given them some money but I still was afraid that I'd be really pestered by them afterwards if I did.
I've become very anti-panhandlers since we've moved to our current town. We have a very large homeless population for our size, and a large fraction of the homeless people are obnoxious, misogynist, aggressive, and unpredictable. Presumably this is because our homeless people are on meth, and in previous places I've lived it's been more alcohol and/or pot. It makes me feel like a bad liberal, but I just want someone to do something so that RWM can walk places alone. If your choices are between homeless people being full members of society and women being full members of society, then I think we should pick women.
With regard to street musicians my theory is that you have to give but you should just choose one you see regularly and give to them.
This. Also, over here there's this magazine called "The Big Issue" that homeless people can buy and sell for a few pence more and keep the difference (I think it's sale or return so they're not out of pocket.) I imagine you have similar. I buy that, sometimes multiples. Random scruff in a doorway with doggy on a string, not so much.
Which makes me wonder if I'm missing the most needy here. People who can at least go through the motions of doing something, even if it's singing Hey Jude over and over until you'd give them £50 to STFU and go away have probably got a better handle on reality than random scruff. Likewise, at the food bank I worry about the people who don't even get it together to come.
79.2 "I had it in my mine..." s/b I had it in my mind.
81.2: Mostly just in the bigger cities. I don't think we've ever had one here in Mpls, but the one in Chicago was inescapable downtown.
81.3: Knowing quite a few working poor people, this always bugs me too. The whole system is set up to keep people in this precarious position where their best option is to keep their personalities fully institutionalized and never do anything to improve their situation. You've got folx who legitimately collect SSDI or whatever because there's no way they're ever going to find a job that would cover their living costs, vs. people who are too busy working really shitty jobs all the time to get organized enough to get and keep the few lousy benefits they qualify for, benefits where the stated intent is to help ease the strain of being working poor, but which never quite seem to have that effect.
With regard to street musicians my theory is that you have to give
Oh god. There's this busker who's a relatively new fixture on my town's outdoor pedestrian mall. He's barrel-chested and wears old-timey vests while playing the accordion and singing a mix of Irish(?) folk songs and sea chanties, all in a not-very-convincing Irish accent. It's like the Decemberists meets Mumford & Sons meets the Wolfe Tones.
Among the buskers on that strip (and there are several), he's definitely one of the most talented, musically. And yet, it is THE WORST.
Aw, the guy in 77.2. All the things I want to say about it sound super condescending/trivial, but really, that's a touching portrait.
my godfather has worked in the aid industry for all his adult life, in the peace corps out of school, then for CARE and now (back) at USAID. he has been everywhere awful you can think of and the camps in goma outside uganda were the worst, like by far the worst, so much worse than haiti ever. he developed years ago in zimbabwe the policy of giving to the first beggar he sees that day and then never for the rest of the day, with a clear conscience (well, he's doing lots of conscience-assuaging actual good works also, while I'm not). but i have found this satisfactory. there are no panhandlers in narnia, obviously. AIHMB my brother taught me the magic of asking that dude outside a convenience store what he smokes (because he smokes) and its hard to overstate the good cheer with which someone greets a whole pack of kool menthols. better than getting the money and then buying the smokes. when I was a heroin addict there was a local panhandler alcoholic in the mission who'd descend for a while, go to jail and return (comparatively) rejuvenated, and then start back in on it. I bought him actual booze (of his choice). I felt like we were in this crazy boat together, fuck it.
I respect your undertakings in setting up this post. I genuinely like your blog articles.