Re: Were You Feeling Cheerful About Anything?

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TRUMP/CRUZ 2016: SCREW IT LET'S JUST GET THIS OVER WITH.


Posted by: MHPH | Link to this comment | 08- 9-15 2:59 PM
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create full employment
Numerator, or denominator?


Posted by: Eggplant | Link to this comment | 08- 9-15 3:53 PM
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No... Was there something we were supposed to be feeling cheerful about?


Posted by: urple | Link to this comment | 08- 9-15 4:19 PM
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Eh. Lots of "coulds" there. Not cause for optimism, sure, but an asteroid *could* also kill us all---which is also supported by past occurrence!


Posted by: Turgid Jacobian | Link to this comment | 08- 9-15 4:42 PM
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4: Sounds pretty nice to me. It would save us a lot of effort.


Posted by: OPINIONATED VOLUNTARY HUMAN EXTINCTIONIST | Link to this comment | 08- 9-15 5:19 PM
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3: In the past 24 hours, I've eaten more than a standard block of cream cheese.


Posted by: Moby Hick | Link to this comment | 08- 9-15 5:43 PM
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I've been hearing the awful stuff for a decade now. I thought it was cheerful news that some of the crabs were beginning to cooperate.


Posted by: clew | Link to this comment | 08- 9-15 5:44 PM
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6: Blocks of cream cheese don't usually eat that much.


Posted by: Josh | Link to this comment | 08- 9-15 5:45 PM
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Cream cheese abuelas can get a bit peckish, I'm told.


Posted by: Von Wafer | Link to this comment | 08- 9-15 5:52 PM
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6: I'm not even angry; I'm impressed.


Posted by: Flippanter | Link to this comment | 08- 9-15 6:33 PM
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I made dip and nobody else was home.


Posted by: Moby Hick | Link to this comment | 08- 9-15 7:02 PM
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1) In the aftermath of the Permian-Triassic extinction event, dinosaurs arose. At present: insufficient dinosaurs!

2) Who misses trilobites? No one! And the Palaeodictyopteroidea with their "piercing and sucking mouthparts"? That's what I thought.

3) Anoxia enhances autoeroticism.

Trump-Cruz!


Posted by: lourdes kayak | Link to this comment | 08- 9-15 7:11 PM
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I read the article about the Snoqualmie Valley and detected some serious wishful thinking. The article and people interviewed seem to propose that simply reallocating water rights will produce more water. The river is nearly dry in spite of the fact that many property owners are not exercising their usage rights. If those rights are reallocated and exercised, the river will simply dry up.


Posted by: lumpkin | Link to this comment | 08- 9-15 7:50 PM
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My Republican voting Fox News watching brother is looking to buy a house on a barrier island in Florida. He thought it was amusing when I suggested he make sure there is sufficient height above sea level on account of he'll be under water in a couple of decades. Of course the place he's thinking of buying is considered one of the areas most likely to be under water within that timetable. At least his kids should be out of the house in college by that time.


Posted by: Barry Freed | Link to this comment | 08- 9-15 7:55 PM
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That's impressively dumb.


Posted by: LizardBreath | Link to this comment | 08- 9-15 8:06 PM
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Possibly he'll try to vote for Ted Cruz and cast a ballot for Sanders. It's a local tradition.


Posted by: Moby Hick | Link to this comment | 08- 9-15 8:09 PM
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Noone thinks reallocating rights will produce more water. It might produce more food (more precisely, a higher dollar value of food).

Barry, can you get a side bet? If he takes federally backstopped flood insurance, or disaster re overt, he has to... vote for a leftist? Buy a gas-efficient car?


Posted by: clew | Link to this comment | 08- 9-15 8:10 PM
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Are any of those houses insurable, and if so how, and can you get a mortgage without insurance? Is he buying in cash?


Posted by: clew | Link to this comment | 08- 9-15 8:12 PM
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I don't know if they're insurable. I kind of hope not actually. His GF is a real estate agent or broker on the side and one of his kids likes looking at houses so they're just exploring now. I think his timetable to buying is around 1 1/2-2 years from now so anything can happen between now and then. You should have seen the smug look on his face when he said "why, because of global warming?"


Posted by: Barry Freed | Link to this comment | 08- 9-15 8:31 PM
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17.2 I should think of something good. Can you even buy federally funded flood insurance in those areas?


Posted by: Barry Freed | Link to this comment | 08- 9-15 8:33 PM
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Probably. Swing state.


Posted by: Moby Hick | Link to this comment | 08- 9-15 8:37 PM
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Ouch.


Posted by: clew | Link to this comment | 08- 9-15 8:58 PM
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A new problem down this way is huge mats of sargassum seaweed washing up on the beaches. It first showed up in 2011, and this year its worse than ever. Apparently the Atlantic currents have shifted such that huge new sections of the ocean are growing the stuff. Then it washes ashore in mass quantities and smothers coastal ecosystems.


Posted by: | Link to this comment | 08- 9-15 8:59 PM
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In fact, you're required to if you have a mortgage from a federally regulated or insured lender.


Posted by: dalriata | Link to this comment | 08- 9-15 9:01 PM
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"In 1968, Congress created the National Flood Insurance Program (NFIP) to help provide a means for property owners to financially protect themselves."

Not like the ACA or anything.


Posted by: clew | Link to this comment | 08- 9-15 11:04 PM
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It's stuff like this that makes me so happy to be really old.

Also trilobites are extremely cool. Their optic lenses were made out of mineral crystals and some of them were streamlined fast swimmers like miniature tuna. Palaeodictyopteroidea I can take or leave, but I would personally enjoy feeding every Republican presidential candidate to trilobites, even if it took a while.


Posted by: chris y | Link to this comment | 08-10-15 2:08 AM
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but I would personally enjoy feeding every Republican presidential candidate to trilobites, evenespecially if it took a while.


Posted by: Turgid Jacobian | Link to this comment | 08-10-15 3:23 AM
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4, 12: relevant.


Posted by: Cosma Shalizi | Link to this comment | 08-10-15 4:19 AM
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Also.


Posted by: Cosma Shalizi | Link to this comment | 08-10-15 4:37 AM
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An actual Congressional response to increased flooding due to climate change.

Congress approved changes to the federal flood insurance program in June 2012 that lawmakers said then would fix the program's problems and make it more financially stable. The bipartisan reforms phased out subsidies for high-risk coastal properties, which onlookers concerned about climate change said was key to discouraging unsustainable coastal development. It was perhaps the only good thing on climate that Congress had done in a really long time.
Last week [March 2014 - JPS], Congress decided to undo it.
Developer-Americans rule!

Posted by: JP Stormcrow | Link to this comment | 08-10-15 5:36 AM
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Say it with me. Swing state.


Posted by: Moby Hick | Link to this comment | 08-10-15 5:41 AM
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Some folks call it a swing state, I call it a Kaiser state.

I like them French fried potaters.


Posted by: Karl | Link to this comment | 08-10-15 5:51 AM
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Serious question: what group is doing the best work on moving forward a protect the oceans agenda? Does anyone know?


Posted by: Roberto Tigre | Link to this comment | 08-10-15 8:55 AM
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Hey, Cosma, you coming to The Porch tonight?


Posted by: JRoth | Link to this comment | 08-10-15 10:55 AM
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Sylvia Earle and anything she endorses, according to my oceanographer friends.


Posted by: clew | Link to this comment | 08-10-15 1:57 PM
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Further to 23, I talked to a friend of mine who took a trip out to the east coast to see the hatching sea turtles. You should be able to see hundreds of them this time of year. The beach was so thick with sargassum seaweed that he only saw one. It seems the rest were unable to escape from their nests.


Posted by: Spike | Link to this comment | 08-10-15 4:51 PM
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Weren't the nests marked? Couldn't people move the kelp? All ybe nests along some Florida beaches are marked and I think theoretically people look after them.

Anima: with friends like these... Guesses on whether it was just bad luck, or multi-factor stupidity, or the EPA weakened by decades of political attacks?


Posted by: clew | Link to this comment | 08-10-15 9:36 PM
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I haven't read much of the news coverage of the Animas spill (though it's certainly bringing out a lot of anti-EPA snark in my FB feed). I'm inclined to think it was probably mostly bad luck, but I don't have a very good sense of how EPA remediation programs work or exactly what they were doing.


Posted by: teofilo | Link to this comment | 08-10-15 9:50 PM
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It doesn't seem like a whole lot is known about the specifics at this point, probably because it's embarrassing for the EPA so they're being cagey about sharing information.


Posted by: teofilo | Link to this comment | 08-10-15 9:51 PM
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Also, both acid mine drainage and floods are *':%$6!! terrifying even before they're combined. In a possibly a collapsing mine.


Posted by: clew | Link to this comment | 08-10-15 10:07 PM
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So, would people in PDX want to meet up before it's swallowed into the earth either earlier in the day on August 15th or on Aug 14th or 16th?


Posted by: Buttercup | Link to this comment | 08-10-15 10:19 PM
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I'd be coming byvtrain and not there before noon on the 15th. Still a longish trip for meetup + college friends, so I'm not positive I'll be there. Want to, though.


Posted by: clew | Link to this comment | 08-10-15 10:23 PM
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Afternoon is fine with me. Something has come up in the evening but before 7 pm I should have free time.


Posted by: Buttercup | Link to this comment | 08-10-15 11:00 PM
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Clew! Are you ditching dinner with me on the 13th?

The dinner that wasn't actually planned or anything. . .


Posted by: CharleyCarp | Link to this comment | 08-10-15 11:07 PM
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BTW except for the weekend of the 29th other dates also work for me, I remember there was a reason for the 15th but I don't remember what now.


Posted by: Buttercup | Link to this comment | 08-10-15 11:29 PM
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No, I'd be in Seattle until the morning of the 15th. You're at the airport the evening of the 13th? I'll look for TDD restaurants.


Posted by: clew | Link to this comment | 08-11-15 12:16 AM
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Weren't the nests marked? Couldn't people move the kelp?

No, and not very easily because heavy equipment can't be used on a beach with turtle eggs beneath it.

Apparently, part of the problem is that a lot of the nests aren't even getting started, because the seaweed is blocking the mother turtles from getting up on the beach to lay eggs.


Posted by: Spike | Link to this comment | 08-11-15 5:24 AM
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They have to want it more. Then they could evolve not moving like such little shits.


Posted by: Moby Hick | Link to this comment | 08-11-15 5:32 AM
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So, a woman ran in front of the bus (which had a green light) so the bus would have to stop so she could catch the bus. The driver refused to open the door. That seems about fair.


Posted by: Moby Hick | Link to this comment | 08-11-15 5:36 AM
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They have some sea turtle nesting grounds at beaches here. I think you can go look at them at night but when they start to hatch they completely close them down. I just found that there is some wildlife excursion group here that I'm totally going to join once they start activities again in the fall.

||

I've been feeling like a jerk myself for something that's probably totally imaginary. May need to go presidential later. It's probably just me being stupid. How's that for cryptic? I should actually learn to be more cryptic. Sometimes I just go on and on when I should realize less is more. Argh.

|>


Posted by: Barry Freed | Link to this comment | 08-11-15 6:40 AM
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Oh, Barry, I hope it's not really so bad and you can get past it quickly!


Posted by: Thorn | Link to this comment | 08-11-15 6:47 AM
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50.2: That was quite cryptic! I think you have that skill mastered! Also - 51.


Posted by: peep | Link to this comment | 08-11-15 6:53 AM
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Do you think it will be possible to rig offshore nets on certain beaches, to keep the sargassum from covering the sand?


Posted by: idp | Link to this comment | 08-11-15 7:05 AM
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I know 48 was a joke but it was pretty offensive.


Posted by: urple | Link to this comment | 08-11-15 7:19 AM
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I apologize to all turtles reading this blog.


Posted by: Moby Hick | Link to this comment | 08-11-15 7:22 AM
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Except the one. He knows who he is.


Posted by: Moby Hick | Link to this comment | 08-11-15 7:24 AM
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55: Fuck you.


Posted by: Opinionated Turtles | Link to this comment | 08-11-15 7:24 AM
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I bet you could make pretty good anti-sargassum nets out of recycled plastic six-pack holders.


Posted by: Spike | Link to this comment | 08-11-15 2:28 PM
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Clew, send me an email.


Posted by: CharleyCarp | Link to this comment | 08-11-15 6:40 PM
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56: Cry Cooter and let slip the tor tugas of war.


Posted by: Turgid Jacobian | Link to this comment | 08-11-15 7:05 PM
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So, my other evening plans on the 15th may have fallen through. Ignore everything else I said, I should probably be free that evening.


Posted by: Buttercup | Link to this comment | 08-11-15 7:10 PM
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50 It looks like my cryptic stupidity was unwarranted and just me being stupid. Cryptically. Until next time.


Posted by: Barry Freed | Link to this comment | 08-11-15 7:46 PM
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I am intrigued.


Posted by: nosflow | Link to this comment | 08-11-15 7:47 PM
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63 Budding semi-long distant friendship conducted electronically. Potentially something else, maybe not, maybe so, probably just a friendship (which is great!) but it would be pretty wonderful if something else were to develop. She's pretty amazing. Also knows this pseud (from social media) so this is also potentially discoverable. Did I mention I think she's pretty amazing? I always feel like I go on and say too much or the wrong thing. Basically just me being stupid and human. So there you go.


Posted by: Barry Freed | Link to this comment | 08-11-15 8:01 PM
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At least you're not a turtle.


Posted by: teofilo | Link to this comment | 08-11-15 8:07 PM
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Then I'd be all the way down!


Posted by: Barry Freed | Link to this comment | 08-11-15 8:23 PM
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Oh?


Posted by: nosflow | Link to this comment | 08-11-15 8:40 PM
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Now in t-shirt form.


Posted by: teofilo | Link to this comment | 08-11-15 8:55 PM
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Do you think it will be possible to rig offshore nets on certain beaches, to keep the sargassum from covering the sand?

No but you could probably rig offshore nets to ensnare all the turtles.


Posted by: chris y | Link to this comment | 08-12-15 1:38 AM
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50.2 really speaks to me somehow.


Posted by: essear | Link to this comment | 08-12-15 4:44 AM
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For anyone in Seattle (or visiting), I highly recommend the tostones at the Snout and Co. food truck. They were at the wedding I attended on Monday and were fantastic.


Posted by: NickS | Link to this comment | 08-12-15 8:21 AM
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In other less cryptic news (and yay for that getting to know someone period of time whatever the outcome, it's been far too long and it's so much fun despite the attendant occasional agonizing), I passed my probationary review for my job. Not that I was worried, but still. They use this self-criticism self-assessment HR type process which was excruciating but future promotions and pay raises will be tied to it as well so I best get used to it. It's all new and pretty alien to me and was a very unpleasant process. I had to read some of the categories half a dozen times and I still had but a faint idea what they were getting at. HR speak is a whole other language. Is this usual at other people's places of employment?


Posted by: Barry Freed | Link to this comment | 08-12-15 11:33 AM
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72: That sounds fairly normal to me. My wife who works at THE UNDISPUTED CHAMPIONS state university goes through this process continually and once one annual cycle is over, right away has to start coming up with new goals for the next year.


Posted by: peep | Link to this comment | 08-12-15 11:41 AM
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We have something like that, but there is nothing for me to be promoted to and the maximum raise since I started has been 2%. I don't find it very stressful.


Posted by: Moby Hick | Link to this comment | 08-12-15 11:43 AM
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I loathe my self-assessment portion of the performance review, though I think my boss feels about as annoyed about her part of it. It's just not a good fit for describing what we do and how wel we do it, but of course it's mandatory and I tie myself up in knots about it a few times a year because of that.


Posted by: Thorn | Link to this comment | 08-12-15 11:46 AM
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Yeah, I figured it's fairly routine considering it's part of the Oracle HR bloatware we need to use.


Posted by: Barry Freed | Link to this comment | 08-12-15 11:51 AM
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Yay for you for doing it in a way that sets you up for success, though! I don't think mine matter much, but I still try to shade positive while still being realistic.

Also extra love for peep's THE in that school description, of course.


Posted by: Thorn | Link to this comment | 08-12-15 12:03 PM
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I suck at writing self-assessments. I have one due in a few months. Protip: avoid sentences that start with "I suck at. . ."


Posted by: unimaginative | Link to this comment | 08-12-15 12:11 PM
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78: Correct, you are assessing *past* performance, so start with "I sucked at ..."


Posted by: JP Stormcrow | Link to this comment | 08-12-15 4:59 PM
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i hate that shit. i actually wrote up an 'orker for an award (i was told to). they truncated a fairly nice citation, so that when it was read aloud it sounded... kind of bad.

oops. thanks for the template you fuckers didnt use.

i did a lot more than i thiught this year... but it was only good enough for a center of mass review and a three days vacation award.


Posted by: turgid jacobian | Link to this comment | 08-12-15 6:24 PM
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the worst thing about tyhe time off award? i already lost usse or lose leave last year.


Posted by: turgid jacobian | Link to this comment | 08-12-15 6:27 PM
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26:trilobites are the Minnesota state fossil! Schoolchildren here collect them down by the Mississippi.


Posted by: Natilo Paennim | Link to this comment | 08-12-15 6:37 PM
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Perseids, Perseids, Perseids.


Posted by: JP Stormcrow | Link to this comment | 08-12-15 6:41 PM
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Thank you, JP! I had forgotten.


Posted by: jms | Link to this comment | 08-12-15 7:14 PM
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HR speak is a whole other language.

Didn't you get a glossary of terms as part of your onboarding packet?


Posted by: fake accent | Link to this comment | 08-12-15 8:56 PM
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"Onboarding" might possibly be the worst word ever.


Posted by: Bostoniangirl | Link to this comment | 08-13-15 4:38 AM
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Related: I just accepted a job as "head of curation" but only after extracting an agreement that the job title would be changed to something less unbearably irritating.


Posted by: Calvin Coolidge | Link to this comment | 08-13-15 5:16 AM
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Head (or Chief, or something) Curator seems like an obvious option.


Posted by: LizardBreath | Link to this comment | 08-13-15 5:18 AM
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At our place they are usually '$Type_of_thing Curator' or 'Curator of $Type_of_thing' although sometimes '$Major_donor Curator of $Type_of_thing'.


Posted by: nattarGcM ttaM | Link to this comment | 08-13-15 5:21 AM
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Cur-8-or?


Posted by: Moby Hick | Link to this comment | 08-13-15 5:21 AM
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The Robert Smith professor of Curation.


Posted by: Moby Hick | Link to this comment | 08-13-15 5:25 AM
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Head head-curator in a phrenology museum.


Posted by: Moby Hick | Link to this comment | 08-13-15 5:28 AM
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We have a 'T0lk1en Cura8or of Medi / eval Manuscripts' which is quite a cool job title.


Posted by: nattarGcM ttaM | Link to this comment | 08-13-15 5:31 AM
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It's not a museum-type curation job, which I wouldn't mind, because that's the legitimate use of the word. It's the irritating, artisanally hand-stretched variety of curation. Hence the insistence on changing it.


Posted by: Calvin Coolidge | Link to this comment | 08-13-15 5:44 AM
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Congratulations, Calvin, especially if you are who you seem you might be. If you fit your presidential characteristics, you could just refuse to answer when asked what you do or say "You lose" or something, I suppose.


Posted by: Thorn | Link to this comment | 08-13-15 5:44 AM
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It's the irritating, artisanally hand-stretched variety of curation.

You're working in a pizza restaurant?


Posted by: Ginger Yellow | Link to this comment | 08-13-15 5:50 AM
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How could that be irritating.


Posted by: Moby Hick | Link to this comment | 08-13-15 6:23 AM
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Congrats on the job; hope the new title isn't worse. "Lead Arbiter of Taste and Trends," for example.


Posted by: ydnew | Link to this comment | 08-13-15 6:45 AM
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"Arbiter of Lead Tastes and Trends" would be both worse than that and dangerous.


Posted by: Thorn | Link to this comment | 08-13-15 6:50 AM
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The word "curation" has been stretched so far I'm not sure I can even guess Coolidge's field.


Posted by: fake accent | Link to this comment | 08-13-15 6:53 AM
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I assume lead must taste pretty good given how often you need to warn people not to eat it.


Posted by: Moby Hick | Link to this comment | 08-13-15 6:53 AM
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It's a little heavy.


Posted by: apostropher | Link to this comment | 08-13-15 6:59 AM
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101: Yes.


Posted by: MHPH | Link to this comment | 08-13-15 7:20 AM
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100: I actually thought he might be you (that is, curator seemed plausibly within what I remember of your career path) until he said that it wasn't the normal sense of curation.


Posted by: LizardBreath | Link to this comment | 08-13-15 7:43 AM
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I'm a long way from "lead" too. My workplace does have someone with a similar title, but the curator part means what most people would guess it means.


Posted by: fake accent | Link to this comment | 08-13-15 8:15 AM
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I have curatorial duties but I'm the head of nothing. There is a head type job they're having trouble filling here and my background knowledge and interests make me a good candidate for it. I've expressed interest for the future and I've even been encourage to apply by two other colleagues (both heads of their departments within their section) but I don't feel like I have nearly enough experience or enough time put in here.


Posted by: Barry Freed | Link to this comment | 08-13-15 8:21 AM
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We have a 'T0lk1en Cura8or of Medi / eval Manuscripts' which is quite a cool job title.

"T0lk1en Cur8or" is presumably the intellectual version of Avril Lavigne's "Sk8er Boi".


Posted by: ajay | Link to this comment | 08-13-15 8:37 AM
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