Just stare at your butt. It's what your students are doing.
I don't think that I've seen watched a videotape of myself.
Many years ago, when my wife was a first year TA, she had an opportunity to be videotaped teaching. She discovered that in the outfit she was wearing that day, one or another nipple became visible through her clothes from time to time. I tried to reassure her that her teaching was so interesting that it would be impossible for any of the 19 year old boys in her section to be focusing on her nipples, but couldn't keep a straight face.
What exactly was awful? Your mannerisms? Your voice? Your teaching? Or just the experience of watching yourself from a third-person perspective?
I learned that I was bald from watching a video of myself teaching calculus in graduate school.
I've been videotaped public speaking before and it seems no more awful than public speaking itself is inherently awful. Watching the video, I thought I looked exactly as awkward and uncomfortable as I felt when I was actually speaking. But the experience of watching the video wasn't uncomfortable.
Actually that's not right--I looked awkward and uncomfortable, for sure, but to a much less degree than I felt awkward and uncomfortable. It was a relief, really.
I got filmed doing some media training and the instructor's comment was that I came across like Ollie North.
Keep it up and you could get promoted to American.
Well, I don't find public speaking itself awkward.
(But now I'm embarrassed to admit it was just the superficial sigh of being visibly older and fatter than I am in my head. When did I get jowls?! Embarrassed because I feel like I've harped on physical insecurity enough and it's not good blogging.)
Can you tell yourself the camera adds ten pounds? Or whatever it is? I endorse having a lot of weird feelings about that topic!
The camera made my hair go salt-and-pepper and my chin go droopy!
Also it was a particularly tent-like outfit, which I'd chosen intentionally to not be self-conscious in. Which worked during the filming.
Here, now you tell about your awkward moment!
My whole life is an awkward moment, heebz!
I've always hated myself on video (and, more thoroughly, audio). Not really weight or age, those I'm pretty much fine with, but unfortunate hair decisions and awkward, ungraceful body-language and posture. And my voice is just ghastly.
I actually like the way I sound on audio. Watching myself on video made me realize that my hair had passed the point where it was really there at all on the top of my head & decide to just buzz it all down. (Didn't go full baldy because too lazy to shave all the time.)
My coach videoed me during an ice skating lesson:
1. I am so. slow. spinning, to the limited extent I can spin.
2. I lean when I should have a straight back and have a straight back when I should be leaning.
3. I am not quite as svelte in my all-black training clothes as I would like to believe.
4. Heebie's 14.
It was really useful. And humbling. It was really humbling.
I am not 14. But that's cool that you're taking ice-skating lessons!
I can barely move on ice skates. I thought it was like riding a bike, but nope. You can forget it.
It's more like the Alamo. You have to work at it.
Tomorrow, all comments will have to be left as vines.
I took a public speaking class where you had to give an oral presentation at every class, and it was filmed, and then halfway through the semester you met with the professor to talk about your strengths/weaknesses. My persistent physical tic: when speaking without a podium, I tend to adopt an oddly wide stance, feet slightly wider than my shoulders. I have no idea why I do this.
24: Habit developed when trying to hook up with the man in the stall next to you in restrooms?
My students in one class have taken to mocking (nicely) a habit I hadn't noticed before, which is that I say "GREAT!" and pause as though we're wrapping up, when things are clearly not great at all (ie, students are confused, someone has said something wrong, the problem is at a tough crossroads, etc).
I like it. They seem to respond by sighing and taking a moment to stop and think about what's going on, to some extent.
Speaking of visible nipples, an Italian cow orker has them. Culturally this is a bit of a problem here but I doubt anyone will complain.
27: is the Italian cow orker male or female?
27: On a cow, I believe the body parts that correspond to breast and nipple are called udder and teats. So, your cow orker (?) has visible teats, which I think is considered normal on most dairy farms.
29 x-posted with 28. Also, the singular of teats is teat, so mine should have read "... are called udder and teat".
Am I just hallucinating, or did being able to see a nipple outline not used to be such a big deal? (I know we talked about this with the bank employee who got fired for dressing too sexy, but in general.) What with not being able to find a bra that isn't carved out of muppet-flesh, and the way people talk, it seems like identifiable nipples are way, way more taboo than they used to be. (And this is not a general modesty trend, clothes generally are as exposing as I've ever seen them.)
28 Female. I think I'd complain if it were a male.
13: I have strong feelings on this! I don't see why visible bra straps have become the norm but nipples are really inappropriate. I solve this problem by not particularly caring (and typically keeping my bra straps covered) but I'd be mortified if anyone other than my mother ever complained I was inadequately cloaked even though I don't care.
31. I do not have strong feelings about the order of numbers, apparently.
26 is a hilarious tic.
I hate my voice too much to gauge whether I'd like myself on tape. That is, I know I'd hate my voice, and I'd hardly notice anything else: "Yeah, the problem is that I'm standing there talking with my stupid voice. See there, where I stick my pinky deep into my ear? I'm using that voice the whole time. Just awful."
I'm basically 17. My voice sounds so awful that I can't actually believe people are willing to voluntarily interact with me, but there you are. I watched a video of myself taking witnesses as part of a pre-trial exercise not too long ago, and even though the fake jurors said I did fine the video was so excruciatingly painful that as a juror I would have voted for the other side just to punish the lawyer with the lame voice and mannerisms. It doesn't help that the senior partner I was working with (who was playing the part of the other side) has a deep, elegant, old-fashioned voice and a perfect manner.
Unless you're thinking of hiring me, in which case 36 is all made up. Marketing! Pick the lawyer with the unbearable, annoying voice and mannerisms!
Yesterday was the first hearing for the fuckers stealing our park, and it's too depressing to recount, but this part is topical:
The defacto leader of our group spoke first, and was barely able to keep it together, which was fine, but not ideal. She's an architect perfectly capable of public speaking, but obviously it's an emotional topic.
AB spoke very forcefully, just this side of strident (or, rather, appropriately strident), but she was primarily talking about what an outrage this is from a process point of view*, so it didn't seem overly emotional. She was the only adult to get serious applause (there was generally little applause, as it wasn't that sort of venue, but there would be some clapping after some testimony).
Kai was a fucking champ. Iris got too shy to speak, so he took it on himself to say the things that she had been planning to say. Other than being a bit too loud into the mic, he was very good. Lots of applause.
I was crazy nervous going in, but I don't think I came across as noticeably nervous. I didn't get to say everything I had prepared (fairly strict 3 minute limit), but I got the main points across. I actually kind of wish I could see how I did.
*not like, "this was filed at the wrong time", but "this process is ass-backwards, and a developer's grassy setback, or paved plaza, is not a public park"
I just... won't. I don't want to see video of myself, I mostly can't even bear to look at candid photos of myself, I HATE IT. So fuck it, I refuse.
Yeah, vague "If I had all the money and time in the world" wishes include whatever the lawyer's version of an acting/voice coach is, in order to come across as gracefully authoritative rather than breathlessly petulant.
38: Yes. I was sorry to read about that. When I wrote Corey, he basically said he wasn't going to do anything.
To briefly cover why it was so awful: after 25 of us spoke for the park, the developer's lawyer and the Mayor's Chief of Staff stood shoulder to shoulder to take questions from the Planning Commission, and pretty flagrantly lied*, but the format was such that we couldn't call them on it, and the Commission simply didn't know they were lies. And the vote was a very reluctant 4-3; it's hard not to think that, if we'd been able to point out some of the (very material) lies, it could have gone otherwise.
*essentially the question was, "Are these low income tenants whom you're kicking out no matter what going to get their meager relocation allowance if the park isn't sold?" And the answer is yes; the MOU is clear, and we've been told repeatedly by both Mayor and Developer that this is the case. But yesterday, they said, "We don't know." So at least 2 votes were Yes because the voters believed that, if they didn't vote that way, the tenants would be screwed.
When I wrote Corey, he basically said he wasn't going to do anything.
Fuck.
Am I just hallucinating, or did being able to see a nipple outline not used to be such a big deal?
Are we talking about the silhouette of a nipple, or the actual color of the areola? I agree that the silhouette used to be not that big of a deal. At the level of maybe making high school kids snicker, but nobody expecting adults to go to any lengths to prevent it. "Are you cold?" jokes, by a rude person, maybe.
44: Outline. Stretchy or momentarily clingy clothes over a non-muppet bra. Something transparent enough to see skin color would always have been unusually revealing.
Visible nipples or visible outline of nipples? That's not the same. I think the second has become less common only recently. The first would stand out nearly everywhere. It's been over a year, but I still remember seeing a woman in the bar with a translucent top and nothing else above the waist.
Yes, I thought of KR (hello, if you're lurking).
I really need to refresh more. Sorry.
43: I should have mentioned that to you, but it was sad.
I have no sense of the historical propriety of visible nipples. I mean, once you get past the age of tittering*, isn't it just polite to ignore it? I guess if somebody's were alway visible, that would be hard to ignore, but I haven't been around anyone like that since HS.
That said, I could see where the norm shifted thanks to the rise and prevalence of firm-cupped, VS-style bras. That is, for awhile nobody ever had them, because everybody's were encased in that style of bra, and so when the style passed, people were shocked to see nipples again.
BTW, I assume that in all cases we mean the outline is visible, not knechtian open plackets, right?
*I'm so sorry
The style hasn't passed -- you really have to look, and spend more, to find non-muppet bras.
It's hard to find a bra without some guy's hand in it?
Only when the dance floor gets really crowded.
52: Ah, so visible nips are simply becoming so rare that any sighting seems noteworthy?
56 is the title of my avant-garde pornographic Game of Thrones parody featuring bored medieval-ish prostitutes having uninterestng sex.
I bet they find it awkward to watch a videotape of their performances.
A San Fernando Valley Pornographer in King Arthur's Court
I guess part of my annoyance with the visible-nipple thing is that it seems like very little doesn't get increasingly strict over time when it comes to acceptable female presentation. Now eyebrows are expected to be maintained and nipples shouldn't be obvious. I'm sure I'm annoyed about other things I'm not thinking of. It just seems like it will never stop and the whole point is not to have an individual body, just the socially acceptable one.
Though I'm not a good person to talk about any of this. I don't even look in the mirror most mornings. I'm also in enough pain I'm ready for someone to rip my spine out and make me a brain in a vat, but that's not related to any hangups about my appearance, which come and go.
57 So basically a lot like the HBO series then?
44: et seq.: The incident in 4 happened in the 80s, and my wife was in her mid-twenties. Back in the day, bras were different and visible outlines of nipples on young women were much more common. Among teachers of college students back then, 20-something women were extremely uncommon. I'm confident that the young men in such a class did, in fact, focus on the nip.
And recalling from my undergrad days, I now recollect the physical features on one then-youthful associate professor much more clearly than the contents of whatever she was nattering about.
If you opt for nipple reconstruction post-mastectomy, then you get to live with permanently erect nipples.
That's probably easier than sewing the nipples into every shirt you own.
Am I just hallucinating, or did being able to see a nipple outline not used to be such a big deal?
Unfogged really has talked about every topic already.
What drives me crazy about the visible-nipple-outline taboo is I'm not sure whether violation reads as (a) frumpy, (b) gross, or (c) slutty.
You know what's actually gross, though, is sports bras designed to prevent visible nipple outline. Who thought having a sponge strapped to your tits while you work out was a good idea?
What drives me crazy about the visible-nipple-outline taboo is I'm not sure whether violation reads as (a) frumpy, (b) gross, or (c) slutty.
This is closely related to the question of whether the nipple-haver is fuckable.
What with not being able to find a bra that isn't carved out of muppet-flesh, and the way people talk, it seems like identifiable nipples are way, way more taboo than they used to be. (And this is not a general modesty trend, clothes generally are as exposing as I've ever seen them.)
I think the two phenomena are inextricable. "Nudity" in TV, magazines, movies means visible nipple and visible genitalia -- not the area 1/4 inch from the genitalia, the actual genitalia. Everything else can be revealed and nobody cares. Along with increased scrutiny of the nipple, people on the internet are always linking to pictures of, for example, Wonder Woman in her aquatic outfit (or David Bowie in Labyrinth) and saying "HOW DID PEOPLE NOT STARE AT THE OBVIOUS CAMEL TOE".
When did camel toe mean anything not related to dromedaries? I don't recall hearing it before about a dozen years ago.
We have toes too you know.
Sorry. I thought you were walking on vulva.
I remember hearing the term in high school, so early 90s.
Maybe I was just hanging around with more sophisticated people in the early 90s? That doesn't sound plausible (because graduate school), but I suppose it could be.
65: I'm pretty sure the answer is not "frumpy".
70, 71:
Attributable perhaps to a change in prevailing style of tonsure? The older, feline metaphor seems to refer to that hirsuitness as much as anything, so the newer term may represent that change.
That's an eccentric use of "tonsure".
Also, camels are hairy. They even make overcoats out of them.
The part of the camel with no hair is under consideration.
Thesis: Nipple outline acceptability related to feminism and freedom for women. Give or take, 1925-1935; 1965-1975; ? Corollary: also related is overemphasis or preference for large breasts.
Tentative conclusion: we are in, or at the beginning of another backlash period.
Test: watch hem lengths
Only thing I remember from Cheers
Diane: C'mon, Sam you are so negative. If you approach him right, I'll bet he is a pretty sweet guy.
Nice Guy: You aren't wearing a bra, are you?
Diane to Sam: Pondscum.
There was some skit - SNL? - riffing on Cameltoe/Clamato, maybe 20 years ago, which I now can't locate and can't remember the central construct that made it work, or else it didn't really work but I had a lame sense of humor back then.
What's the "feline metaphor" </bewildered old fart>
If a cameltoe lets out a bewildered old fart in the desert, does it make a sound?
Test: watch hem lengths
"But it's for science."
I can't stand watching myself on video, but I record audio podcasts for my online classes, and fortunately my voice records well.
84: Oh. I thought of that but discarded it. Did people use "pussy" to mean the whole area? I mean, nowadays it seems to mean either "vagina" or "female person" (there's a difference? who knew?) but not, in my experience, "vulva".
Perhaps I moved among high-minded misogynists or perhaps it's a transatlantic thing.
I doubt it's ever really meant vagina and not at least the vagina-vulva complex.
Eisenhower warned us about the the vagina-vulva complex, but did we listen? No, we did not.
90: Are we still pointing out low-hanging fruit?
Speaking of fruit, I suppose the fig reference is out of date?
Figs and dates are totally different fruit.
AISIMHB, bandaids have historically been sufficient to keep my nipples from showing under clothes when I've gone braless. The only thing I'm looking forward to about my post-mastectomy chest is never needing to wear a bra, or nipple bandaids, again (at least once the healing finishes and the surgeries are done).
Sometime next summer or fall, I'm going to have nipples tattooed by this guy, who has become pretty well known for his work. I met with my plastic surgeon for a consult yesterday, and she said the artist likes to wait six months after the implant-swap surgery to do tattoos.
Seriously? Did you buy dedicated nipple bandaids, or the same ones you'd use on a cut finger?
This is definitely generational. I'm maybe a decade older than you, maybe a little more? And I don't think anyone who was debating bralessness in the eighties or early nineties would have been worrying about nipples showing (as opposed to concerns about the placement or mobility of the breasts generally). I vaguely remember hearing of nipple-bandaids as a ridiculous Japanese product, along the lines of "what won't those crazy Japanese come up with next?"
It's not all that major an issue -- I end up buying the muppet bras because they're what's available if you're not looking too hard, and figuring that anyone who's offended by the visibility of my nipples if I'm not wearing a muppet bra can screw themselves, but it's weird having new taboos develop in a fairly short timeframe.
I thought about using nipple bandaids for running but I decided the bloody nipples were a sort of red badge of endurance.
Yow. Isn't there something that could be done with choice of T-shirt?
It turns out that using a clean t-shirt really helps. For training, I would just keep my shirt in the garage (which smells funny anyway) and wear it again. Apparently, the salt from sweat forms crystals that make your shirt far more abrasive than it would be otherwise.
The same ones I'd wear on a cut finger. I think it is generational--I always feel self conscious about "nipping out," and the bandaids definitely prevent that.
97: It might not be strictly generational. Teaching has got to be more of an exposed kind of thing than most jobs* and, from what I learned from other graduate students, women who don't look much older than their students can take a lot of shit if they don't watch their appearance carefully.
* Appearing in court would be very exposed, but I'd bet everybody wears a jacket for that.
Anyway, I have never checked my zipper so often as when I was teaching.
101: Bandaids only work for some people. For others padded bras of the muppet-flesh type aren't even enough. I'm the same age as you and there's no way I'd bother with a bandaid when going braless because what people see is their own problem, but I'm also unreasonably bitter about the whole issue, NOT THAT IT'S OBVIOUS OR ANYTHING.
I thought that accusing someone of going braless meant that they looked wobbly and jiggly, not that their nipples were poky.
It's mastectomy season, motherfuckers!
And then next summer we can say, it's decorative mastectomy season, motherfuckers!
106: Could be both: jiggly-pokery.
The tattoos at the link in 96 are really impressive.
Due to the also remarked low office temperatures no one at work ever sees me without a coat on, which obviates the nipple problem. But yeah, my hypothesis: the bigger cultural shift is that it's much more acceptable to shame and mock little transgressions and be wildly, publicly uptight about them, since everyone is used to having the sort of expressive platform only previously available to obnoxious tv personalities. Whether you tweet incessantly about colleagues or not, it affects inner monologues and norms. Prove me wrong!
Maybe butts replaced nipples? What with the tights and all.
108: Hooray!
No, not really. I'm dreading this thing. I don't want to cut off my boobs. I like them.
Yeah, the only good thing about that kind of surgery is its plausible life-saving nature. Everything else about it sucks.
She discovered that in the outfit she was wearing that day, one or another nipple became visible
BUT NEVER BOTH AT ONCE
I was reading about why reconstructive implants go under the muscle instead of over the muscle, like regular implants. The sources I was reading kept coming back to "it gives the implants a better shape, because the muscle pushes it down into a teardrop, since there's no breast tissue to help form the shape." Jesus christ, you'd think that'd be a problem someone could solve, rather than putting the implant under your goddamn pec. (It sounds like there are teardrop-shaped implants, but surgeons...don't like them? It doesn't solve all the problems? I don't know.)
Although there was other stuff about the implant eroding through the scar and out, which is horrible-sounding.
The pictures I've seen of women with the teardrop-shaped ones (called "contours") just don't look as good as the traditional "rounds." That may be in part because I have smaller, still perky breasts and so the rounds look more like what I'm dealing with now, but I dunno. The contours can also turn sideways, which requires surgery to fix, whereas it doesn't matter for the rounds.
It seems like the expanders will look and feel like crap for the 2-4 months they're in (depending on radiation, how well I heal, how big I want to go--could be up to 6 or 7), do I'm not looking forward to that.
Really, I'm just feeling pissy and scared and not at all "brave" or "inspiring" at all. And I fucking hate being bald. Cancer blows, y'all.
Sorry, J. It really does sound sucky all around.
Yeah, I did cancer treatment during the summer last year (no, I didn't mention it, yes, I was also pregnant, yes, I seem to be fine now and baby Steadfast has no ill effects).
The main problem with bald is that you can't have any privacy. What's going on with that chick? Oh, cancer. Want to keep your health matters to yourself? Can't, bald. It really does suck.
Then, after, growing it out, people think you made a decision about your hair when you didn't. Oh, she has an efficient practical Mom-cut. No I don't! Don't call me those things! Turn out that hair conveys all sorts of messages and I don't like when it conveys messages that I wouldn't send.
Chemo was rough, and I'm the most ox-like, placid, imperturbable person I know. But when it ended, I was my recognizable self within a couple months. You can wait it out, J, Robot. You don't have to be brave while you wait it out. Time'll pass either way.
Glad that worked. I had no idea. Not that I can see your head.
And that's why we love the text-based internet.
I'm not losing that much hair. It's just receding a bit.
123: Holy shit. I'm so sorry.
Nah, it is past now. No need for that. Now we're focused on getting J, Robot and you back to a healthy normal.
I'm just feeling pissy and scared and not at all "brave" or "inspiring"
Yeah, don't fall for the Facebook effect trick of thinking that everyone else is dealing with cancer with picture-perfect grace and aplomb. It just sucks.. But like Job Megan says, time passes and you'll be fine.
You are making the right choice, h-g. Avoid chemo and radiation by any means.
VTSOOBC, watching J. go through the parallel-awful actual treatment version has made it easier to believe 130 at the internal, emotional level.
I don't care what my hair tells you, I am not the brother of George Bush.
That's the haircut I was going for when I cut my hair off, but instead I got somewhere between Rachel Maddow and Kramer.
134: You were trying to look like Jeb Bush???
Lying on your head, just like Brian Williams's did.
Sending supporting feelings to everyone.
108: I guess I passed the age where all your friends get married, and the age where all your friends have kids, and moved on to the age where all your friends have mastectomies.
In another couple of decades, all your friends die.
The earlier life milestones had better parties.
With or without their breasts on.
I'm pretty sure I'll have alienated them all before that.
My mom used to say, nervously, that she'd feel much better once I had my mastectomy. I'd tell her, "I won't tell you when it is, but I'll just give my breasts to a taxidermist and have them stuffed and mounted, and then for your birthday and send them to you as a surprise."
Do they take enough skin for that?
Depends if you're having reconstruction or not. If you are, they generally do a skin-saving procedure (if you're not having the reconstruction done simultaneously). If not, then most women request that they take the skin and try to make it a flat surface.
Oh, she has an efficient practical Mom-cut.
AB has had short hair the whole time I've known her, but once she became a mother, she got annoyed that it looked like a Mom-cut. Which I get, but it's still kind of funny: you had that haircut before you were pregnant, it didn't change properties in the meantime.
That same kind of thing happened to all the guys wearing toothbrush mustaches in 1932.
In my analogy, babies are von Hindenburg.
Fathers are Weimar politicians from centrist parties. OBs are Ernest Rohm.
If you think it was bad for those guys...
Thanks, folks! Today has been one of those days where I just really needed to wallow. That, and eat the Halloween candy (laffy taffy) that I bought.
It doesn't help that two of my closest friends, who are a) my age, and b) married to each other, both have stage 4 cancers. I find myself worrying about them all the time, too. Ths good thing is that the three of us are also friends with handful of MDs, so they've been awesome abort explaining medical minutiae through the whole process.
Holy shit to 157.2. That would definitely fuck up your life.
Yeah. I had a group of four other close friends in grad school (including the couple). Four of the five of us have/had cancer. The good news is that the husband of the couple is responding well to treatment. The wife is not, but just started a new chemo.
Of the five of us, I'm the only one not living outside the US (three in prestigious UK college town, one in Canada). Cancer has made me incredibly grateful for the Messenger app. I think I spend roughly a quarter of my day on it with those guys and our MD friends.
Via Tierce, on twitter, this is amazing:
http://www.electronicbeats.net/feed/an-elementary-school-class-performs-kraftwerks-die-roboter/
As long as this is the sorrow thread, we're 2/2 this week on having teachers tell us that maybe we should send our kids to therapy. Just counting the kids older than 2.
I bet that if you take a random sampling of Texas teachers and a random sampling of Jewish kids, 80% of the kids will be recommended for therapy.
157.2 is nuts. Good luck to all of you.
Holy crap everyone. At least you all have this internet shithole to hang out in.
Also, I had a dream in which I babysat Rascal, except he was younger. Your house was huge, and I was super impressed by the work J Roth did.
168: "Hire me, and I'll design the home of your dreams, as well as the dreams of others."
167: maybe? Pokey's teacher today said that he has 8-10 rages/week, often where she has to restrain him so he doesn't hit other kids or her, and that it's a red flag that we hit the 3 month mark and he isn't responding to her techniques. I don't want him to get kicked out of daycare and right now we have most of a year until kindergarten, so getting him some one-on-one work is appealing. No idea if insurance covers super angry four year olds or not.
We had no idea it was that frequent until today's intervention. We assumed that when they happened, they got put on the daily info sheet.
Or maybe nipple-shaped buildings if I watch "Sudden Death."
That's kind of weird communication on the teacher's part. I'd expect to have heard about it a lot by the second or third week with multiple restraint-requiring rages.
Which doesn't mean there's no problem, but I'd be curious what you think of the day care generally.
This has been a problem all last year and this year, yes. In that sense it's no surprise. We discussed it extensively at the parent-teacher conference. We just were cheerfully naive that maybe he was growing out of it and it was getting less frequent.
You'll be happy to hear that all of the kids were well behaved in the dream. I took them swimming, and Rascal mainly slept in my arms.
I think my life would be happier with a steady stream of babies to hold. Once this cancer BS is finished, I'm going to have to find a nicu that still allows volunteers to do kangaroo care. I just want to hold and love all the babies. And make them custom onesies with their blog names.
In general I think this daycare is great, and it's a teacher that Hawaii also had and we like her. But I have a habit of being relentlessly optimistic until really confronted.
Well, there goes denial (my first instinct is always to check if maybe the school is the problem). I guess therapy can't hurt -- will finding one be easy?
And what's going on with Hawaii?
179: It's a bunch of islands, apparently really beautiful. The islands were made from volcanoes, which is why it's really hot there year round.
They don't get guns until like 4th or 5th grade even in Texas. That's a lot of time to work on the anger.
In my experience, which is limited to only one kid, day care workers never give you the information you really want. What you want to know is which one of the kids in the room is the biggest asshole.
182: If you don't already know, it's your kid.
Hawaii is...polite version, she's super attuned to people around her and constantly manipulating them and lying a lot. Also some mean girls type stuff going on. Extremely insecure, yet dominant kid.
Maybe some short-term sessions to help her use her powers for good might help.
Yeah, she's getting hooked up with the school counselor.
183: Then I want the complete ranking.
And the seeding for the next round.
'S like the therapist will never tell you exactly how fucked up you are. Must be the first thing they teach in therapy school.
Can I use this space to whinge presidentially? I've now spent more then 1500 dollars trying to find a (family) lawyer, and not only have I not found one I like, I've been getting fundamentally contradictory advice from the consults. It now looks like it's going to cost north of ten grand to get out of marriage we got into for less than a hundred bucks. And we pretty much agree on everything already. I'm nearly convinced this is a racket.
Damn, I really meant that to be in the more appropriately labeled thread
Okay, serious question: Why don't people talk more about G.G. Allin's influence on both popular music in particular and popular culture in general. I mean, can anything or anyone be truly offensive nowadays? Ultimately you have to compare any provocation to G.G. Allin and inevitably it comes up short. If you want to really epater le b., you need to consider the Allin legacy and figure out if you can top it. And that's pretty fucking hard.
If you had a big wedding with an open bar, at least the costs would balance.
||
Time for Knecht to renew his vows.
|>
190 That sounds to me like kind of a lot for a genuinely uncontested proceeding. I suppose if your agreement has lots of complicated parts to it, weird tax angles, and the like, it could be expensive.
195: it is, as you surmise tax angles and the like that are causing difficulties.
Find a lawyer who knows all about when Ohio was admitted to the union and the fringe on flags.
Yikes! I came here for the nipples, but stayed for the cancer (and behavioral problems and divorce). I'm sorry for the all the cancer everyone is going/has gone through., and I hope things go into remission quickly and chemo is not too unpleasant.
I have nothing to say except commiseration on the divorce angle. I had the simplest divorce ever with no lawyers involved (uncontested, no children or shared assets/debts,
On nipples, I wear t-shirt bras and then don't worry about how visible they are, even though they're probably visible far more often than I assume. When I teach I don't pay attention to nipples in particular but I do try to dress in a way which reads older, and I try to avoid anything overtly sexy.* I do have an issue in that I have a male roommate and I have to balance dressing how I would to lounge around with trying not to make him uncomfortable. This means I may not wear a bra but I do wear a pants and shirt in the living room.
*I think I usually dress pretty sexy, but according to other people polar fleece and chunky sweaters are not sexy, so ymmv.
I am reminded of a WWII-era cartoon with two G.I.s walking past a topless woman on some Pacific island with one saying to the other, "I wonder what she'd look like in a sweater?"