Re: Sometimes You Know They're Your Kids

1

The proper expression for a photograph is a quirky grin and haunted, piercing eyes.


Posted by: dalriata | Link to this comment | 12-18-15 9:37 AM
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2

Kai hates having his picture taken, possibly because he's terrible at smiling for the camera despite a generally joyful demeanor.


Posted by: JRoth | Link to this comment | 12-18-15 9:43 AM
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3

Just get the DNA test if you're nervous.


Posted by: Moby Hick | Link to this comment | 12-18-15 10:07 AM
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4

I hate posed photos, as a rule.


Posted by: nosflow | Link to this comment | 12-18-15 12:01 PM
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5

Are Kai and I both ogged's children?


Posted by: nosflow | Link to this comment | 12-18-15 12:02 PM
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6

Surely here we are all ogged's children. Or I suppose unf's


Posted by: Wry Coder | Link to this comment | 12-18-15 12:04 PM
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7

I have lots of opinions about camera-face.

On a trip, I was watching a woman get photographed by her fiancé. Every time, she'd make the same smile, which was very flattering. In between, her face was animated and interesting, until she froze it into that smile. Every one of her pictures was going to look exactly the same. Then, reviewing our own pictures, my traveling partner hated posed pictures (and scenics of ruins, having been to nearly all of them) and instantly moved past them to find more genuine ones. The combination of seeing her freeze lifeless and having him hate those photos of us mostly got me over camera-face.

But! Those are often flattering pictures. I am amazed at how good The Kids These Days are at finding their best pictures and consistently taking them. There was a video that was supposed to be damning, about how people at a club were being video'd instead of taking a picture and didn't they look funny mugging. But they didn't! Boy howdy were they good at snapping into a flattering position. They know how and I never did.

I don't really know what to do to get good pictures, except: take a thousand million shots at a time and have the subject in motion. Or accept getting another shot of the same smile, which is likely flattering.


Posted by: Megan | Link to this comment | 12-18-15 12:42 PM
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8

I just told my kid he didn't have to smile.


Posted by: ogged | Link to this comment | 12-18-15 2:38 PM
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9

The funniest thing is to watch your kid try to talk to you in the bathroom, while completely preoccupied with their reflection. Hawaii turns into this super over-acting little adult, Pokey and Ace just make faces at themselves.


Posted by: heebie-geebie | Link to this comment | 12-18-15 2:40 PM
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10

I have a really broken reaction to mirrors -- I involuntarily open my eyes really wide, and it's very hard not to. Which means that I'm not all that sure of what I look like when I'm not impersonating a startled fawn.


Posted by: LizardBreath | Link to this comment | 12-18-15 2:43 PM
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I am amazed at how good The Kids These Days are at finding their best pictures and consistently taking them

I have (very wealthy, which maybe matters?) younger cousins who've been at this since they were no older than my girls, who are still silly in front of the camera and have no meaningful idea about what's going to be flattering on the other side. My cousins have had the same pose, same smiles, same angles for a decade before getting to the college-selfie stage and it did sort of freak me out.


Posted by: Thorn | Link to this comment | 12-18-15 2:43 PM
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12

I used to practice my delivery of stories in the mirror, in maybe 8-10th grade. I got much funnier.


Posted by: heebie-geebie | Link to this comment | 12-18-15 2:46 PM
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13

I had to have a picture taken for a company thing last week. I thought I looked like Hannibal Lector, and not in a good way.


Posted by: DaveLMA | Link to this comment | 12-18-15 2:48 PM
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14

I hate it when they don't tell you there's a human artery stuck between your teeth.


Posted by: heebie-geebie | Link to this comment | 12-18-15 2:50 PM
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15

If you're washing your hands in a communal bathroom and someone starts talking to you, do you make eye contact with them or their reflection? What do you do if they made the opposite choice?


Posted by: dalriata | Link to this comment | 12-18-15 2:51 PM
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16

I usually just ask them which they prefer and stick with that.


Posted by: heebie-geebie | Link to this comment | 12-18-15 2:53 PM
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17

Make eye contact with your own reflection as if they aren't even there.


Posted by: teofilo | Link to this comment | 12-18-15 2:54 PM
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18

10 is very funny.


Posted by: JRoth | Link to this comment | 12-18-15 2:55 PM
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19

Iris has developed a lovely smile for the camera, although I'm not sure how: she's not really part of a selfie crowd or whatever. Since getting Kai to smile is an ordeal, it's nice that we at least have good odds that she'll look pleasant in 95% of the pics.


Posted by: JRoth | Link to this comment | 12-18-15 2:57 PM
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20

15: Would you prefer to talk to me looking normal, or startled?


Posted by: LizardBreath | Link to this comment | 12-18-15 3:20 PM
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21

18 to 20.


Posted by: teofilo | Link to this comment | 12-18-15 3:24 PM
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22

I'm looking at homework grades for one of my classes. ~15 students, weekly homework. In the entire semester, one single student skipped one single assignment. It FEELS incredibly bizarre, but I don't have any memories of passing back light assignments, nor do any particular grades look implausible, and also I know the grader incredibly well, and she is not likely to be very close with these students. (Different majors, different years, etc.) Weird.


Posted by: heebie-geebie | Link to this comment | 12-18-15 3:44 PM
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23

Maybe getting parts cut out makes you a better teacher?


Posted by: Moby Hick | Link to this comment | 12-18-15 3:52 PM
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24

With only 15 kids, fluky good behavior isn't that weird. What would you normally expect -- 9-10 kids do all the assignments, and the rest are varying levels of flaky?


Posted by: LizardBreath | Link to this comment | 12-18-15 3:53 PM
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25

Yeah, something like that. I'd expect the last assignment or two to have rates around 50%, and at least 1-2 students who are flakey all semester long, and nearly everyone to miss at least one assignment somewhere. I tell them up front that I don't accept late homework, but that I'll drop the two lowest homework grades to compensate for a sick day or an emergency or whatever.


Posted by: heebie-geebie | Link to this comment | 12-18-15 4:00 PM
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26

You think that's weird, when I was teaching middle school and I came in to class late once (only once, I swear), all fifty unattended 12-13 year olds were quietly studying. It was spooky.


Posted by: foolishmortal | Link to this comment | 12-18-15 5:10 PM
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27

Any recent surgeries?


Posted by: Moby Hick | Link to this comment | 12-18-15 6:02 PM
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28

I am just going to brag for a moment: Hawaii brought home the first half of a novel she's been working on, all semester long. She's got seven chapters done. (This is in gigantic kid handwriting, of course.) The teacher had made some offhand comment about letting Hawaii work on her book if she was finished with the rest of her work, but we hadn't exactly processed what she meant. She only let us read the first three chapters tonight.


Posted by: heebie-geebie | Link to this comment | 12-18-15 7:09 PM
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29

That's awesome.


Posted by: teofilo | Link to this comment | 12-18-15 7:13 PM
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30

My kid has most of a novel written, although I think he's going to flake on the final chapters. The plot entails kicking all his friends' asses in a Minecraft Hunger Games tournament.


Posted by: Spike | Link to this comment | 12-18-15 7:19 PM
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31

My oldest has been writing comic books recently, but I'm not going to lie: they're terrible.


Posted by: urple | Link to this comment | 12-18-15 7:51 PM
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32

Does a person "write" comic books or "draw" comic books? I hesitated, and I'm not sure I made the right choice.


Posted by: urple | Link to this comment | 12-18-15 7:52 PM
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33

I think somebody does both but you'd want to be the person who draws them if you have a choice. The writing is basically always terrible.


Posted by: Moby Hick | Link to this comment | 12-18-15 8:02 PM
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34

But what I mean is what do you call a person whose both?


Posted by: urple | Link to this comment | 12-18-15 8:14 PM
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35

Noser is a lefty and not comfortable with writing at all. Nor is he a good speller, because he doesn't se to give a fuck. Rilee, almost two yrs junior, was unrelenting in kicking his ass when we were practicing for his class bee last year. On the other hand, at Rilee's age Noser was doing borrowing and multiplication.


Posted by: Turgid Jacobian | Link to this comment | 12-18-15 8:16 PM
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36

Bitextual.


Posted by: Moby Hick | Link to this comment | 12-18-15 9:05 PM
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37

Writer-artist, I think, by analogy with singer-songwriter. Or creator.


Posted by: Minivet | Link to this comment | 12-18-15 9:12 PM
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38

Book-runner?


Posted by: Moby Hick | Link to this comment | 12-18-15 9:13 PM
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39

Das Comic-tsar.


Posted by: Moby Hick | Link to this comment | 12-18-15 9:36 PM
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40

If anybody wants the joys of a life in small retail, apparently there is no comic store called "Das Comic-Tsar."


Posted by: Moby Hick | Link to this comment | 12-18-15 9:39 PM
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41

Your frequent-purchaser reward card would read: "The more you shop, the faster you will buy."


Posted by: Moby Hick | Link to this comment | 12-18-15 9:43 PM
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42

Kid B has a selfie smile that looks consistently good in selfies, but is nothing like she ever looks in actual life. It's bizarre watching her do it.

Kid D is remarkably photogenic - there will be a nice picture of the four kids with the older three looking perfectly normal and fine, and then she will just look so much better - she can do that focus/connection thing with the camera in a way that the others don't bother to. Even when she was very little she could hold or repeat a pose to get the picture right. I find that also quite weird.


Posted by: asilon | Link to this comment | 12-19-15 6:10 AM
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43

Also both kids tend to look stoned in pictures. They inherited that from their mither.


Posted by: Turgid Jacobian | Link to this comment | 12-19-15 6:55 AM
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44

My wife and son and I were supposed to spend the day in Curaçao, and instead we are spending it at an airport.


Posted by: Spike | Link to this comment | 12-19-15 7:26 AM
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45

Keeping your plans loose let's you do fun things like that.


Posted by: Moby Hick | Link to this comment | 12-19-15 8:11 AM
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46

I see a TYPO!!


Posted by: heebie-geebie | Link to this comment | 12-19-15 8:20 AM
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47

Word to your mither.


Posted by: Opinionated Vanilla Ice | Link to this comment | 12-19-15 8:23 AM
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48

Word to your mims
I came to drop bimbs.
I got more rhymes than the bible's got psilms


Posted by: House of Pain | Link to this comment | 12-19-15 9:03 AM
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49

31, 32- I would say "make". I made a comic book. She is making a comic book. He will make a comic book. Have you made any comic books?

Etc.


Posted by: E. Messily | Link to this comment | 12-19-15 9:15 AM
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50

Comic biik.


Posted by: Moby Hick | Link to this comment | 12-19-15 9:20 AM
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51

Your mother makes comic books.


Posted by: JP Stormcrow | Link to this comment | 12-19-15 9:27 AM
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52

I don't let my son draw things or write books because you know who else did those things.


Posted by: Moby Hick | Link to this comment | 12-19-15 9:57 AM
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53

William Blake?


Posted by: Walt Someguy | Link to this comment | 12-19-15 10:09 AM
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54

It's an awful feeling to have been up for an hour already at 7:30 am on the 2nd of 16 days home and hate everything and everyone. We are all awful screamy upset jerks. At least these two weeks will feel like ten weeks.


Posted by: heebie-geebie | Link to this comment | 12-20-15 6:28 AM
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55

Ugh, heebie, not fun! This is a weekend where I get to savor the silence, but what I really need to do is scrub the kitchen floor.


Posted by: Thorn | Link to this comment | 12-20-15 6:34 AM
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56

That's silly. It will just get dirty again.


Posted by: heebie-geebie | Link to this comment | 12-20-15 6:47 AM
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57

The second hour is not going quite as bad as the first hour was. We managed to break a 60 million year old fossil of a flying fish!


Posted by: heebie-geebie | Link to this comment | 12-20-15 6:54 AM
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58

How many hours are in 16 days? What percentage of them are awful? Show your work.


Posted by: heebie-geebie | Link to this comment | 12-20-15 6:57 AM
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59

I heard the world isn't 60 million years old anyway. It was probably only a 6,000 year old fossil.


Posted by: Moby Hick | Link to this comment | 12-20-15 7:23 AM
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60

Also, for the record, my breasts weighed about 5 lbs total.


Posted by: heebie-geebie | Link to this comment | 12-20-15 7:44 AM
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61

Having them removed is a bit of an extreme diet strategy, but whatever works!


Posted by: | Link to this comment | 12-20-15 8:04 AM
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62

Sorry, me. My phone no longer thinks I'm memorable.


Posted by: Thorn | Link to this comment | 12-20-15 8:05 AM
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63

Do these breasts make my ass look fat?


Posted by: heebie-geebie | Link to this comment | 12-20-15 8:07 AM
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64

Winter break, hub? Yes, ours is off to a contentious start as well. Lots of arguing.


Posted by: Turgid Jacobian | Link to this comment | 12-20-15 8:25 AM
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65

It's so unpleasant!


Posted by: heebie-geebie | Link to this comment | 12-20-15 9:10 AM
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66

I'm pretty sure 5 pounds isn't near the record.


Posted by: Moby Hick | Link to this comment | 12-20-15 9:11 AM
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67

Maybe near the median?


Posted by: heebie-geebie | Link to this comment | 12-20-15 9:16 AM
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68

Just lock them all out of the house! PROBLEM SOLVED! Peace and quiet!

I miss you. How's my cat?


Posted by: E. Messily | Link to this comment | 12-20-15 9:26 AM
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69

Are they even in the house? Like they sent them back in jars?


Posted by: Moby Hick | Link to this comment | 12-20-15 9:29 AM
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70

That flying fish fossil knows what it did.


Posted by: Roberto Tigre | Link to this comment | 12-20-15 9:30 AM
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71

Don't put the kids in jars, Heebie. Or if you do, make sure you poke some holes in the lids for air.


Posted by: E. Messily | Link to this comment | 12-20-15 9:32 AM
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72

I don't want the kids buried,
In a tit cemetery.


Posted by: Moby Hick | Link to this comment | 12-20-15 9:54 AM
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73

Paleontologists love nothing more than putting things back together, so it's all good.


Posted by: Eggplant | Link to this comment | 12-20-15 10:32 AM
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68: We miss you! Your cat still hates the kittens. We started Mrs. Piggle-Wiggle today.


Posted by: heebie-geebie | Link to this comment | 12-20-15 1:27 PM
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75

Do you take any extra pets or only cats?


Posted by: Moby Hick | Link to this comment | 12-20-15 1:59 PM
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76

OT: I sent a Facebook friend request to my brother's new girlfriend. I was wondering if that's a good thing to do given that I've never met her, but she accepted it in like 45 seconds. Does that mean they're engaged?


Posted by: Moby Hick | Link to this comment | 12-20-15 8:32 PM
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77

It means she's stalked you too and is curious but your brother hasn't been as forthcoming as she would like.


Posted by: heebie-geebie | Link to this comment | 12-20-15 9:13 PM
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78

Well, sure. If we were forthcoming people, I would just ask my brother about his girlfriend.


Posted by: Moby Hick | Link to this comment | 12-20-15 9:16 PM
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79

I feel like I should sent her a warm, friendly DM but then I remember that I don't do that very well.


Posted by: Moby Hick | Link to this comment | 12-20-15 9:21 PM
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80

To be fair to me, I haven't really tried very often.


Posted by: Moby Hick | Link to this comment | 12-20-15 9:23 PM
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81

Possibly I'm so good at conveying the human condition that I was supposed to be the Tolstoy of the Zulus. Getting a job offer in a distant place with no relocation budget is apparently my thing lately.


Posted by: Moby Hick | Link to this comment | 12-20-15 9:25 PM
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82

Maybe if the Zulus were really into puns.


Posted by: teofilo | Link to this comment | 12-20-15 9:32 PM
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83

WHO IS THE TOLSTOY OF HULU PLUS?


Posted by: OPINIONATED INTERNET MEDIA CRITICISM | Link to this comment | 12-20-15 9:42 PM
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84

I'm really bad at doing research into potential employers.


Posted by: Moby Hick | Link to this comment | 12-20-15 9:42 PM
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85

xelA likes to be photographed, and likes to look at photos of himself, but you have to be careful he doesn't pose. He talks of doing 'a cheese' or 'sending a cheese to Mummy', which means I have to get the phone out and he pulls what he thinks is a smile but is actually a strange rictus that he finds hilarious. He is quite photogenic otherwise, though.


Posted by: nattarGcM ttaM | Link to this comment | 12-21-15 4:15 AM
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86

The phrase 'sending a cheese to Mummy' makes me think of toileting training.


Posted by: Moby Hick | Link to this comment | 12-21-15 7:22 AM
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87

Yeah, from 'say cheese' as a trigger for smiling in photos, but he's reified that as 'a cheese'.


Posted by: nattarGcM ttaM | Link to this comment | 12-21-15 8:13 AM
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