What a terrible/hilarious nickname/pejorative.
I just read the transcript for the argument in Whole Woman's Health, and that's when it hit me that for me personally, the abortion question is about to become entirely academic. For most of my adult life, I've planned to not have children, though I've occasionally gone back and forth as to what I'd do if I became pregnant. So that's the funny thing about facing my upcoming surgeries--the fact that I won't bear a child hasn't made much of a difference to me, but it's a bit jarring to really take in that I don't have to think about birth control or abortion for myself anymore. Like, if I move again, I won't have to ask my new gyno whether abortion is accessible, and how bad the local protestors are.
Go figure.
It really is weird. One would think that this aspect of it would be unquestionably positive, and it is positive, it's just...weird. Like I'm being preemptively kicked out of the class of "women of child bearing age," especially because my chemo-induced menopause is going to turn into surgery-induced menopause.
"Ambiguous losses" are what they get called in foster care (and I'm sure a lot of other!) contexts, where you're dealing with the disappearance of an imaginary or imagined future you may not have even wanted and yet find yourself sort of grieving once it becomes inaccessible.
Sorry, reading thread in reverse order and was inappropriately flip
Sorry, reading thread in reverse order and was inappropriately flip
The greatest hazard of all, losing one's self, can occur very quietly in the world, as if it were nothing at all. No other loss can occur so quietly; any other loss - an arm, a leg, five dollars, a wife, etc. - is sure to be noticed.
(Speaking of being inappropriately Flip.)
"Take my wife, quietly."
"I just flew in from Germany, and my arms aren't tired even one little bit."
"Hell is the other side of the road."
3 - I'm facing something vaguely similar with respect to getting a vasectomy. I used to want a kid or two but have since realized that I'm getting a bit old to be a new dad and I am probably unsuited to it anyway (not to mention the lack of a female companion who's interested in sprogs), so might as well get the snip. I'm dragging my feet a bit but I did go in and see a doctor about it.
Wandering OT, but I decided that for this issue I'd try a concierge medicine establishment and I have to say the rich have it fucking good when it comes to doctors. There was scotch in the waiting room and a nice guy who offered to get me coffee or tea. The actual visit with the doc was an hour long and we covered every possible urological issue. I got the doctors personal cell phone number just in case I needed to talk to him about anything. They did a bunch of tests in-house and when I went back to go over the results it was another full hour of going over everything in detail. They run a subscription service where you pay $265/month and get free visits whenever. I declined due to not having that kind of cash floating around. Overall the experience cost about $1000 which was worth it only in the sense that I got an interesting experience in addition to the medical care. When I finally decide to get snipped I'll do it at a regular people doctor, though. The price of surgery at the concierge place is too high for me.
14: Scotch in the waiting room?! My mind was blown when my fancy plastic surgeon's waiting room has a Keurig...
There was scotch in the waiting room
"Take a swig or two, bite down on this stick, and we'll get this vasectomy started!"
14 sounds like a hilarious scam for the Doctor involved. You got to spend an hour and a half where he explained every possible thing that could go wrong with you! Also that level of discussion about test results is almost certainly (roughly, for most tests) ninety percent useless*. But it's also the sort of thing that's perfect for hypochondriacs, and for making otherwise sensible people into hypochondriacs while feeling like that makes them more responsible than other people. (When you see people talking about over medicating or doing unnecessary medical stuff it's mostly relatively wealthy people falling into this trap, too.)
*As far as I can tell, and from what my doctor will literally say without any real prompting (which is hilarious) the range of human variation and the statistical vagueness of most of our medical knowledge means that the results of most tests boil down to either "Meh" or "Oh Shit", with relatively little to be learned in between those two.
but it's a bit jarring to really take in that I don't have to think about birth control or abortion for myself anymore. Like, if I move again, I won't have to ask my new gyno whether abortion is accessible, and how bad the local protestors are.
It's awesome. I can understand how it is jarring, too! but not having to deal with periods ever ever again is a pretty nice silver lining.
OTOH, I'm able to take hormone-replacement therapy, which eliminates all of the menopausal symptoms. OTTH, you've been in menopause from chemo already.
If you have three hands, you're taking too many hormones, Heebie.
20: Since my cancer is hormone negative, I might be able to take low doses of HRT after the surgery.
21: The third one isn't hers, she just found it on the beach in BC.
23 That's a foot. See the other thread.
23 That's a foot. See the other thread.