Rarely have I felt less proud of belonging to the tribe of confrontational eye-rollers. (Rarely, but certainly not never.)
2: As in that's how you respond to watching the video or that's how you'd respond if you were in the video? (Or, I suppose, neither or both?)
The second. The video is touching, and the fact that almost every single person was gracious is especially touching.
The video is touching.
I would have felt very uncomfortable had I been in that situation.
The one person who is the opposite of gracious is the one who breaks my heart.
It does take me down a slightly cynical train of thought -- even though I don't think there's anything cynical about the video itself.
I think of the research which shows that the best way to make a friend is to ask a favor of them, rather than offering to do them a favor.
That makes me think of both DeLong saying, "But as soon as we enter into a gift exchange relationship with someone or something we will see again--perhaps often--it will automatically shade over into the friend zone. This is just who we are... "
And the brilliant scene from House Of Games, " ">It's called a confidence game. Why? Because you give me your confidence? No, because I give you mine."
How does that relate to the video in the OP? Telling somebody that you think they're beautiful creates a moment of vulnerability -- it's something that people generally say only when they're exposing themselves emotionally (and, to her credit, the person making the video seems to mean it) and the person hearing it can't be neutral. They either have to reject it, or they have to accept it as a moment of shared intimacy -- even though they also know that it's part of an art project.
It's difficult, and not completely different from the confidence game in that people can be suspicious but also don't like actively rejecting trust.
As you can see in the one person who does push back, there is no easy way to say, "whatever you're saying, I'm not willing to be part of this moment with you." And that's something that people can and do manipulate (though, again, I don't think the video is manipulative).
Ugggh, terrible HTML fail. The quote from House OF Games was supposed to link to this clip.
My god, Victor Davis Hanson was right. Who killed classical education. These things are not beautiful.
I don't think the video is manipulative
I... would have assumed we could all agree that the video is manipulative. But the word you used initially was "cynical," and I don't take those to be synonymous.
I... would have assumed we could all agree that the video is manipulative. But the word you used initially was "cynical," and I don't take those to be synonymous.
I agree, that's correct and worth saying.
What if the kid looked like Shia LaBoeuf?
the one who breaks my heart
Do you mean the one at 1:45? I think she knows the videographer and is giving her a hard time (she's just about smiling at the end of her rant). There are a few others that are really heartbreaking.
Because they aren't told they are beautiful often enough, and the sound of it shocks them? Or the ones who just reject the notion as they hear it?
I would have shattered uncomfortably at that age and most others if anyone had called me beautiful I think more upset than flattered. It certainly wasn't anything I heard. The number of gayish-presenting boys was noteworthy, but one girl near the end had a shirt suggesting it's an arts school and that may be related.
I'd seen this shared on facebook a million times but only clicked for you reprobates. I'm sort of tempted to try it with the girls, though they know I think they're beautiful.
I would probably not have written the first sentence quite as badly as a teen, though. I'm degenerating.
I can hardly believe the same person posted this and asserted that there is a moral duty to punch people who resemble Shia LaB.
but one girl near the end had a shirt suggesting it's an arts school and that may be related.
This absolutely makes me think of Iris' arts school, where so many things are good and so many other things are exactly as shitty as they are in every 6th grade in the worldAmerica*. Iris tells stories that are simultaneously unbelievably generous from any non-arts, non-2016 perspective and gut-wrenchingly familiar.
*because apparently on Knifecrime Island, if not elsewhere, 12-y.o.s are marvelous, well-adjusted creatures who are never cruel to one another.
Look out, O. Neb is weak on anti-LaBoeufery.
I'm totally down with the I-will-cut-you-in-the-face girl. Don't piss in my boots and tell me I look beautiful in the rain.
I think she knows the videographer and is giving her a hard time
Yes, I think you're right. My heart is already on the mend.
I read the title of that video and closed the window. Fuck you, I am not watching that shit.
I'm going to have to watch this in small doses.
Way more interesting: Malfoy looked pretty competent in his MMA debut.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VmaQv6WAeWs
But did he look beautiful gswift?
28: This is him at weigh ins. I'll let the blog be the judge.
https://pbs.twimg.com/media/ChCMSilWwAApgxg.jpg
Fuck you, I am not watching that shit.
I know it's because you're afraid to cry.
That's Goyle, not Malfoy! That was disappointing. I've been wanting to see poor Tom Helton get punched in the face since the first movie.
He does get punched in the face, by Emma Watson. And didn't something bad happen to him in that ape movie? Isn't that enough? He's not Shia LeBeouf.
That's Goyle, not Malfoy!
Shit, I knew that, but I'm entertained that the mistake got you excited.
I know it's because you're afraid to cry.
I might repress crying to an unhealthy degree (I detest crying, sue me), but in this case it's a simple case of me hating fucking "viral social experiments" with the fire of a thousand suns. Every minute watching that nonsense instead of sports,porn, the slow mo guys, etc. is a failure at life.
You scoff now, but you know the gubernatorial Smut Epidemic Task Force is going to plonk you and every other dude in your community down in front of this video Clockwork Orange-style until you learn that crying sucks a lot more with eyelid retractors everyone is a precious, fragile human being and you need to really see them as they are.
I just reread all the Harry Potter books for parental-involvement reasons. They're not quite as bad as I remembered them.
I would have punched the person filming this video if someone tried this shit in high school. In my middle/high school experience, approximately 3/4 of the time someone pulled something like this, it was to fuck with you. I learned eventually.
37: and in this case too. "Hey I've made a video of everyone in my class who I think is beautiful and posted it on the internet! There you are Amy... there you are Sean... there you are Tyler... oh the video's ended. You weren't on it Marie? WOW I WONDER WHAT THAT IMPLIES."
I kind of agree with 37 and 38. The reactions are sweet enough, but I can't help but think about the context in which this would have been made.
everyone is a precious, fragile human being and you need to really see them as they are
I get plenty of that at work. For the love of god everyone, put up some kind of front already.
I still refuse to watch this brain destroying viral trash. Instead I have a martial arts mission for an aspiring Hebrew badass. Someone needs to take up grappling and make the AFAICT unclaimed website jewjitsu.com a place of greatness.
Sorry, g, but we Hebrews are not so much about the martial arts.
And as I recall the Bible some of you ate nasty with a sling.
We excel at the marital arts young man. You should have married a doctor.
because apparently on Knifecrime Island, if not elsewhere, 12-y.o.s are marvelous, well-adjusted creatures who are never cruel to one another.
Where did you get that idea from?
Plus, how come this is sweet and life-affirming but when I go round putting a camera in the face of random women on the street and muttering "I'm taking pictures of everything I see that's beautiful" I get taken away by the police?
41: also, combined-arms mobile warfare is a martial art too and every time Hebrews get involved in that it looks like the bit in the Jackie Chan film (every Jackie Chan film) where he gets swarmed by 247 Triad gangsters or whatever and then fourteen seconds later they're all lying on the ground regretting their life choices and he's walking calmly out of there with the girl.
Also, how come (nearly) everyone was sweetly bashful? I feel like most of my kids' friends would either immediately start posing like supermodels, or just tell the photographer to fuck off. They would not be adorable.
I get plenty of that at work. For the love of god everyone, put up some kind of front already.
Wait, what? You're surrounded by fragile, emotionally open cops?
The public, I should expect. Openly expressing your deepest emotions is a great way to get arrested, depending on what those are.
Nobody ever got kicked through the open window of a cruiser by overestimating the emotional fragility of the public.
I'm amused that ogged managed to find a video that unites me, ajay and gswift in our contempt for it.
how come (nearly) everyone was sweetly bashful?
Good midwestern values.
Corn syrup and Miracle Whip do that to a brain.
I'm amused that ogged managed to find a video that unites me, ajay and gswift in our contempt for it.
It's like that alien invasion that Reagan thought would have been such a good idea.
Also, how come (nearly) everyone was sweetly bashful?
I guessed that the one filming was sweet, cute, well-known, non-threatening, probably female. Maybe dressed in a fullsize teddy bear costume with open face.
It's a good exercise to try to imagine what these subjects are reacting to, what they are looking at. And to try to imagine the conditions that would make me/you blush rather than punch.
Combining the threads, it seems obvious that Alawite LeDindon couldn't make a film like this without being beaten bloody.
I had the same "ok ok text go faster what is...oh definitely not" response.
The fact that people aren't mugging for the camera, aren't occasionally reacting with "oh fuck you"*, and so on makes me think that the "social experiment" isn't on the people in the video so much as the people watching it.
*I'm pretty sure that by that age I had fully absorbed the "when people do this they're doing it to be nasty to you" lesson, and if a camera was added in that would only reinforce that by adding the likelihood that people were going to show it to their friends later for mean laughs.
40 is the best antidote to "be yourself" dippy nonsense. Yeah, just be yourself. Oh, no, not that one. Try a different one.
Why is ogged posting middle-aged midwestern housewife pron?
I still haven't watched this asinine-seeming thing and I'm not going to, by god.
Where did you get that idea from?
In some ancient thread, the Americans were taking it for granted that kids were shitty to each other, and ttaM (and IIRC others) reacted as if we were talking about how trepanning was standard discipline in school.
In my high school, kids weren't ghastly to each other, and my impression of the Kids These Days is that they are much sweeter than we were. I thought it was lovely and genuine, with heartbreaking parts. I thought it was interesting that the kids' willingness to believe in their beauty was pretty much uncorrelated with their features. But almost every kid who had developed a look was willing to hear that it was beautiful. The kids who kept their look neutral reacted with more rejection or disbelief.
I bet stills from this video would give these kids some of the most lovely, flattering pictures of a sincere smile that they've taken since they perfected their camera face.
62.2: The sense I had from not having clicked through on this on facebook was that there was a before/after set of stills for each participant.
I think both it's sweet and a little scary to see the genuine responses and I assume the appropriate rights were gotten and so on and that of course it only worked because she's female and has a strong script and so on. Also a footnote about oh my goodness eyebrow maintenance really is mandatory now. Nia's mom has been dropping what I'm not sure whether to take as hints about how I'm falling down on the job (for myself; even she thinks nine is too young) and I'd been trying to ignore that there are people who just don't trust anyone without nice eyebrows. I really want to quit the human race sometimes.
I'm trying for Gandalf eyebrows. It's going to take a while, but I think I'll get there.
my impression of the Kids These Days is that they are much sweeter than we were
First 150 days of middle school do not comport with this. I mean, as a parent I can't possibly compare apples-to-apples with my own experience of 6th grade, but there are most definitely stone cold assholes, and one perfectly sweet kid has been made to be the butt of all jokes. There's even a stock insult along the lines of "Why don't you curl up and die with O//ie." Iris has known this kid for years, and never much liked him (basically as rivals who are too alike to get along), but she feels terrible about the shit he's going through, and is really clear that it's undeserved (there's also a racist component, as he's one of relatively few Asian-Americans there). It's actually bad enough that AB is reaching out through friends to his mom.
oh my goodness eyebrow maintenance really is mandatory now
Literally, one of my most powerful insecurities.
I would be on Megan's side of "Kids these days, sweeter than we were", but Sally and Newt's school may be weirdly sweet.
66: That's one of those problems that you can solve by just throwing money at it.
In some ancient thread, the Americans were taking it for granted that kids were shitty to each other, and ttaM (and IIRC others) reacted as if we were talking about how trepanning was standard discipline in school.
IIRC, it was less surprise at general shittiness and more not relating to the US trope of high school being particularly hellish and also fiercely/violently segregated into jocks and nerds and goths and so on.
I would be on Megan's side of "Kids these days, sweeter than we were", but Sally and Newt's school may be weirdly sweet.
Me, too, generally.
I don't know yet. On the one hand, I see lots of friends/colleagues who seem to have truly delightful relationships with their tweens and teens. (Including some of you all!) On the other hand, when I was a tween/teen, we were phenomenally good at compartmentalizing and hiding parts of ourselves from adults. So how would any adult actually know if kids were being tormented in an environment? Isn't it an ongoing arms race? (Probably not entirely - I do believe that there are sweeter communities and more awful communities. What was the name of that community where Anonymous took on the football players that had raped the girl and the video of her was being widely laughed off? Something with an S.)
Steubenville? There have probably been more since.
That's the one! Just as a counterexample to the sweetness of kids.
One thing that's kinda insidious about the whole thing is that the experience is so specific to your social standing. If you're not at the bottom of the heap, you can come away with the impression that things aren't that bad through a combination of ignorance and self-delusion. If you're at the bottom, you are under no such illusion. So I'd guess that makes it very difficult to tell whether things are better based on anecdote.
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Loving this recording of John Renbourn. Fantastic guitar tone.
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74 seems to be true of all human life on planet earth.
Also a footnote about oh my goodness eyebrow maintenance really is mandatory now.
Trends are swinging the other way in many places/aesthetics.
Does "places" mean geographical locales or something else
78: It mostly just made me really sad about how my daughters are going to be doing that sort of thing and not just hideous nail paint in a mere few years. But you're right, perhaps not and it will be something else instead!
Well, look at our good friend Coptic ElCarne below. Despite his scraggly mangy beard, he does appear to have trimmed his eyebrows.
Ismaili LePoisson is clearly the O//ie of Unfogged.
