Remember, everyone, she said a clever idea for a bar.
Break into Rikers with a couple of bottles of tequila?
No, I don't literally know what "clever" means. Why do you ask?
Night Train, LB's stoop, vomiting. That's my plan.
This is the saddest thread in the history of Unfogged.
Joke's on Tigre: I haven't got a stoop.
Truly, the pupil has overtaken the teacher.
I sense a lack of respect for your elders.
Wait, whose stoop am I vomiting on then?
I do have stairs to vomit on, they just go down to a below-grade entrance rather than up a stoop. So, you have options.
True luxury is having stairs just to vomit on, in addition to stairs to walk up and down. Manhattan truly is a glamorous land.
Are they labeled to avoid confusion?
Does anyone in Manhattan have a stoop? I thought you were supposed to vomit on the doorman, who just chuckles and gives you some words of worldly wisdom.
Sure. There are blocks and blocks of brownstones or limestone townhouses, each with its own stoop. And without doormen.
Apparently I need sources of information about New York other than Curious George cartoons.
I dunno, New York is mostly about child slavery and men in huge yellow hats. The books get that part right.
I thought Manhattan was famous for stoop drinking.
probably famous for some other stuff too, I guess
Wow, I always thought Curious George was British. Well, not him but the setting. Lumped him in with Paddington I guess.
Curious George, Paddington, and Babar each embody different national self-images of colonialism. Curious George is benevolent, voluntary slavery perpetuated by wealthy capitalist individuals supposedly acting free of the government. Paddington is a charmingly bumbling native who can be gently mocked for the errors of his ways, while growing to enlightenment under the benevolent tutelage of the British people. Babar is all about etatisme, connections to Paris, and orderly and well-managed state administration.
I had been thinking something along the lines of 25, but not nearly as well developed. Bravo.
25 is brilliant! There should be a Master's diss in that.
15.
There would be one long staircase just going up
And one even longer coming down,
And one more leading nowhere, just for puke.
Halfordismo has always aspired to a mastery of disrespect.
You guys, he's just knocking down the competition so that Richard Scarry can reign triumphant. Don't fall for it!
True that. Like Mao badmouthing the Koumintang.
I feel violation of the analogy ban is justified by the urgency of the threat.
Maybe that was Mao? It always seems wrong either way.
25: When you put it that way, Babar sounds pretty good.
You do seem like you'd find it better to reign in Celesteville than serve in Heaven, Flip.
Mao and moa are alike in deadness but unlike in proclivity to mass murder.
Since New Zealand was "uninhabited" before the Maori, we can't say 37 with any certainty.
Except that when the Moa went up against the Maori they tended to end up eaten.
While 38 is true, I'm sure a Great Flightless Leap Forward would have left archaeological evidence: deforestation, furnace sites, etc. Unfortunately it's too late to test Maori Maophagic capability.
39: It's a sobering cautionary tale of civilizational decline.
"I told you those wings would come in handy one day! But would you listen? No! 'Declutter,' you said. 'Keep nothing in your anatomy you do not know to be useful or believe to be beautiful,' you said. Well, another fine mess you've got us into!"
It was my understanding that New York has yet to discard Brooklyn, despite some strenuous efforts.
So any thoughts on time and place? I assume the meaning of the OP is "not Fresh Salt".
That's probably the best place, but I didn't want to be the first to suggest it.
So you had to make me to be the one who says the name. You selfish bastard.
Fresh Salt is inconvenient for me on a weekend -- possible, but not ideal. You must be staying someplace; do you know where by neighborhood?
Right near Madison Square Garden.
do you know where by neighborhood?
Tottenville
There's an Applebee's not far from Madison Square Garden.
North Brother Island. That's why I suggested Riker's -- it's a short swim.
52: There's an Applebee's just north of there.
I just assumed they would want the reliability of a national chain. Traveling can sometimes be too many new things.
57: Do you know what my boss at Peoples Drug Store used to say about assuming?
I live in enlightened topless Europe now. Applebee's is dangerously foreign. My idea of familiar food is lutefisk and cervelat.
It's Flightless Birds Week here at Unfogged.
I have no originality, but Dive Bar was fine -- 96th and Amsterdam -- it's convenient for me, and not bad for you (a few stops north on the 1 train). Anyone likely to show up has a better idea, make your case.)
60: Then how about his place? http://www.reichenbachhall.com/
||
So Days of Heaven is just as boring and self-indulgent and pointless as all the other Malick I've seen. And you can fucking smell the money burning. How much does a director have to suck that the only empathy produced by his movies is for the studios whose money he wasted? Done with that fucker.
|>
Were you even born when that was made?
No. I also wasn't born when Metropolis and 2001 were made, and they also suck.
As do War and Peace and Tale of Two Cities. All kinds of self-indulgent shit was made before I was born.
Os Lusiadas. Journey to the West.
I'm just saying, maybe he got better. That was a long time ago.
In fairness I gave up on Journey to the West after about the fiftieth time the monkey king killed a demon in the exact same words as the other 49 times. So maybe 1% of the way through.
Tree of Life is also shit. Prettier shit with less choppy editing and better sound design, but still shit.
If The Magic Kingdom counts as part of Journey to the West, then yes, it got better. That was quite good. It had Jackie Chan in it.
But that's a very generous definition of authorship, so sticking with 'shit'.
71: [Cracks knuckles] I'm sure your statement wasn't intended to insult the tender goddess Jessica Chastain.
She was great in Madagascar 3: Europe's Most Wanted.
Hey, MC, have you seen The Deer Hunter?
It's such a mess that they gave it the oscar, and then proclaimed his next film, a cinematic triumph, to be a mess.
You're damn right she was, typed the man who watched A Most Violent Year voluntarily, albeit on an airplane. Seriously, who gives a shit about Oscar Isaac's hair selling fuel oil in 1980?
Chastain is good, but not in Tree of Life. She was basically modelling dead Ophelia for a painter. I liked A Most Violent Year a lot, and I'll watch Oscar Isaac's hair do anything, unless it's a comic book movie. The Deer Hunter is indeed a mess, but the roulette scenes are phenomenal. Haven't seen Heaven's Gate.
2001 does not suck, you unreconstructed swine.
The famous opening paragraph of "Tale of Two Cities" is supposed to be a joke, right?
I liked the "Cheers" ending of "A Tale of Two Cities".
The ending of 2001 sucked. Pathetic human wish-fulfillment fantasy.
Chastain is good, but not in Tree of Life. She was basically modelling dead Ophelia for a painter.
[Sputtering apoplectic incoherence.]
How does 2001 not suck? If I want to listen to Strauss I'll listen to Strauss. If I want to be stupidly scared of robots I'll listen to Musk. If I want to play with cardboard models I'll regress to being two. Any one of those things would be more productive than watching that movie.
'As Sidney Carton climbed into the Apache helicopter, he said "'tis a far better thing I do, than I have ever done before. 'tis a far better butt-kicking I give, than I have ever given before."'
Musk is really great when you sync him up to Dark Side of the Moon.
To be clear, I'm counting mindless entertainment as productive. I'm counting sleeping as productive. I'm even counting commenting on unfogged as productive.
82: I always read it as a sarcastic commentary on hyperbole.
I guess I'm not 100% sure how to read the phrase "so far like the present". I took it to mean "so much like the present," though maybe it's supposed to be "so far away from the present". If it's the first, then it's definitely a joke.
The whole tone of the opening is sarcastic. The next paragraph mocks royalty for thinking "In both countries it was clearer than crystal to the lords of the State preserves of loaves and fishes, that things in general were settled for ever." The paragraph after that is about various occult portents which "strange to relate" turn out not to be important.
95.2. Pretty sure it does mean "so much like the present", and I think you're right the whole paragraph is sarcastic.
Mossy, why on earth are you even awake and commenting at this ungodly hour, let alone teaching us about Presbyterian missionaries and HMS Cockchafer?
Full Metal Jacket good, 2001 better.
The hour is moderately godly in my time zone, but I work nights and don't have a circadian cycle anymore, so whatevs. Commenting because the hour is not yet godly enough for the metro to open. Cockchafer because Cockchafer.
Days of Heaven wasn't particularly a money waster and over its lifespan has made the studio a decent chunk of money. Probably 50% of most studio's slates in most years do worse. Admittedly you couldn't run a studio releasing only movies that did that well but Malick isn't known for making big budget financial stinkers or anything. Maybe you're thinking of Heaven's Gate.
64, 71 Fucking fight me Mossy.
Malick is one of the greatest living American directors.
In a wold with 37 plus fucking Captain America movies in development you're complaining about one of the greatest American movie directors being given (not a lot of) money to make the kind of films no one makes?
Malick started off at the top of his game, Badlands is my usual go to for my idea of a perfect movie. Because it's fucking pefect.
And Days of Heaven is fucking beautiful to look at.
And how the does one praise the ungodly mess that is The Deerhunter* and not mention the fucking masterpiece that is The Thin Red Line?
Beg to differ on Tree of Life or Knight of Cups if you must, fine, tastes differ. But holy shit.
And.....incoherent sputtering rage.....*goes to look at list of invective Tigre directed to Sanders voters in earlier threads*
*A film I actually like it myself in parts and I like Cimino but it's still a mess and an embarrassing one in many parts.
It's now 4:30 here and I can't get back to sleep. This is worse than Trump.
2001!?!?!
Metropolis!?!?!?*
OK, I calmed down after I saw that one, and not because Metropolis ain't fucking great but for reasons...
I mean, what do you like?
In a wold with 37 plus fucking Captain America movies in development...
Éomer's going to stab at least one of them.
I couldn't get through Metropolis, after seeing M.
I think I might have liked Metropolis, but I saw it too soon after seeing Barcelona. You can only have so much Whit Stillman (or Chris Eigemanin) a given period of time.
I understand what Malick was trying to do with The Thin Red Line , but I don't think his actors did. Caveziel sure as shit didn't. Maybe Cusack? It was valiant and pretty, but I would not use the word "masterpiece".
I guess "when you hear Metropolis do you think Fritz Lang or Whit Stillman?" is an even more rarefied version of "when you hear Crash do you think JG Ballard or Paul Haggis?". (Lang for me.)
I guess you're only likely to think of Stillman if you've confused Metropolis with Metropolitan. My excuse is that I've never seen any of his movies; I don't know what Moby's might be.
106 That's more or less what I remember thinking of it when I saw it when it came out in the theater but it's since really grown on me. There's a line on Malick that he's been repeating himself, at least recently, and one I don't agree with but still even so, fucking let him, no one makes his kind of films.
104 I don't really get that. Such different films. And I'll grant that M is really another level entirely.
Which one of those has people who talk like nobody every talks like except many whoever David Mamet listens to?
Too much time at The Thirsty Squirrel or whatever his bar is called, maybe.
109.2: it really was back-to-back and after being utterly blown away by M the slow pace and, well, goofy earnestness of Metropolis were too much for me.
I did appreciate the thin, see-through tops worn by the ladies in the early scenes.
But I'm going to start calling the bar "The Thirsty Squirrel".
According to Wikipedia, Crash the movie was inspired by a real-life incident in which co-writer, director, and producer Paul Haggis had a series of fatuous thoughts about race.
Back then, there was no Facebook for him to post those thoughts on.
113 Yeah, not a great idea for a double bill.
I've seen the Cronenberg Crash and not the other one, so I always a moment of disorientation when I realize people are talking about the other one (and they almost always are).
being given (not a lot of) money to make the kind of films no one makes?
I can agree this is a good thing. What I can't agree on is the unanimous adulation and the condescension* or incomprehension directed at anyone who disagrees. Are you surprised that some people want discernible plots in movies? Really?
And what pisses me off is the indulgence. Malick has repeatedly cut entire performances by marquee actors. If you're going to spend vast sums of other people's money it's incumbent on you to have some kind of plan before you start spending it. And that kind of behavior makes it less likely that weird risky movies get financed in future. It's bad for cinema overall.
Contrast Soderbergh or Cronenberg, who do great work all the time while being total professionals as well. Or Nolan's Interstellar, a huge self-indulgent mess, delivered on time and under budget, and making decent money.
We can agree to disagree on the merits, but I personally am done with the fucker.
*Not from anyone here.
Dude Malick isn't a problem director. He's not wasting a lot of studio money. Days of Heaven is a net moneymaker for Paramount, especially given its DVD and post-theatrical career. Studios aren't giving him a lot of money but not because he's not a pro, it's because it's hard to make money these days on quality movies that anyone makes. Hate his movies if you want, and feel bad for studios if you want, but no need to put the two together.
I only made it through the first hour of The Deer Hunter, which I think covered about 5 minutes of the characters' lives.
The 1951 M remake set in LA has some of the best Los Angeles cinematography I've ever seen. The building search is in the Bradbury building too. The original is still a better movie, of course.
I'd never hear someone say "Metropolis" and think of Stillman. But I might wonder if they're talking about the Japanese anime film, which I caught on tv a little after it came out.
What do you like?
Loved: last year's Macbeth; Wolf of Wall Street; Shutter Isalnd; Carnahan's The Grey; McQueen's Shame; Nightcrawler; Birdman; Django Unchained (all Tarantino, more or less); All is Lost; Scott's The Counselor; Aronofsky's The Fountain; Network; Dog Day Afternoon; Do the Right Thing; Clockers; Shymalan's Unbreakable; North by Northwest; original Bourne Identity trilogy; Fiennes's Coriolanus; Drive; Wong's 2046.
Disliked/hated: Casino; Goodfellas; The Revenant; 21 Grams; Aronofsky's Pi; There Will be Blood; A Beautiful Mind; The Theory of Everything; anything by Luhrmann; Blue Valentine.
On reflection, I might give The Thin Red Line another chance because I saw it a long time ago. I remember the battle sequences being good.
I understand what Malick was trying to do with The Thin Red Line , but I don't think his actors did
Apparently also true of Tree of Life. I submit that getting actors and crew to understand what you want is in fact the definition of a director's job.
I don't think I've seen any Malick movies. Also, I'm surprised he's directed so few.
121: Ok, fair enough. IIRC the Thin Red Line production was a total shambles though.
I've actually never seen Days of Heaven but I have seen some financials for it. I liked The New World which seems like the one the haters hate the most.
Wait how is it possible to love Wolf Of Wall Street but hate Goodfellas? That's like loving Five Finger Death Punch but hating Sabbath.
I disliked not hated Goodfellas. Wolf is much funnier, more energy, infinitely more relevance. And DiCaprio is immeasurably better than Liotta. Much better cast all round.
Wait, you loved Shutter Island and The Wolf of Wall Street, both minor Scorsese, over Goodfellas which is him at the height of his game. I'm astonished.
As for Malick I don't give a shit what or who ends up on the cutting room floor. Different director's work in different ways and Malick does a lot of finding the film in the editing room. And it's not bad for cinema at all. Bad for cinema is 57 fucking superhero movies in production and not much else. Everything a tentpole and no tent.
Wait, you loved Shutter Island and The Wolf of Wall Street, both minor Scorsese, over Goodfellas which is him at the height of his game. I'm astonished.
As for Malick I don't give a shit what or who ends up on the cutting room floor. Different director's work in different ways and Malick does a lot of finding the film in the editing room. And it's not bad for cinema at all. Bad for cinema is 57 fucking superhero movies in production and not much else. Everything a tentpole and no tent.
Also if Malick had only ever made Badlands he'd be one of the greatest American directors.
Total agreement re superheroes. Why is Goodfellas better? Serious question.
How was your driving test btw?
Maybe somebody should reboot Badlands.
Because I was on a plane, I saw Jupiter Rising. It was dumb but visually interesting. They should have just remade the original Star Wars with that cast/style. That would have been worth $10, maybe.
They should have just remade the original Star Wars Hamlet with that cast/style. That would have been worth $10, maybe definitely.
I don't know why exactly, but the endless bitching about superhero movies annoys me. It's tragic that nobody but teenagers and the population of China will go to movie theaters anymore. It's not Hollywood's fault. It's not teenagers or China's fault. It's everyone else's fault. Hollywood makes the least bad superhero movies it can, and invests them with as much wit and moral seriousness it can manage without torpedoing the box office.
Plus it's not like they burned the archives. Most of the classic movies are readily available to convenient digital form. Hollywood spent 100 years not making superhero movies, but making a zillion war movies, Westerns, romantic comedies, etc. Part of why superhero movies are the only genre standing is that they're novel.
Why can't I blame teenagers and China? I could be president if I did it well.
nobody but teenagers and the population of China will go to movie theaters anymore
Stand to be corrected, but as I understand it plenty of other people will go cinemas, but not in the numbers Hollywood wants. Hollywood has chosen to make bigger and bigger bets on fewer and fewer movies, and consequently has made those movies safer and less inventive to mitigate their ever-increasing exposure. Superhero movies are the last standing because they have the loyalest pre-sold audiences and so are the safest bets.
Also Mailick is a terrible example of what we've lost. I haven't seen much Malick, but I have seen "The Thin Red Line" and "Tree of Life", and they are both pretentious twaddle. I have a pretty high capacity for pretentious twaddle, so I thought they were okay, but they're not anything like marvels of modern cinema.
And the (ethnically) Chinese people here turn out in surprising numbers for all sorts of movies, including Western art movies.
Walt! I knew I wasn't alone!
I think the middlebrow cinema audience has disappeared, except for a few token movies every year. Low-budget horror movies still get made, because enough people still go to them to make them profitable.
And if you think about it, Malick-style movies are a larger percentage of Hollywood's output than ever before, in that most other kinds of movies have disappeared, but Malick gets to keep making movies.
I have to finish my slides for a presentation that I'm giving in two hours. Thus it is incredibly important that I share my views on the urgent question of movies right now.
Be sure to animate a 360° pan through sun-dappled trees.
The vaguely poetical voice-over will be killer.
Superhero movies haven't been novel for over a decade now.
China makes some damn good movies.
Have you seen Stephen Chow's The Mermaid?
EIKATMILFW* but it seems like he used to be a shining example of the Quitter's Mindset. Maybe he's still figuring out what he wants to be when he grows up.
*everything I know about Terrence Malick I learned from Wikipedia
149.last speaking of China and blockbuster movies.
134 I got an appointment for September 11th. Was told to speak to the captain about an earlier date and he said come this Thursday so I'm taking it early morning next week.
I have seen many Stephen Chow movies, but not The Mermaid. Was it good?
You are, indeed, not alone, Mossy Character.
New Yorkers: Help a brother out. Where in Manhattan should one go for a late summer evening stroll with a blossoming love interest, culminating in dinner? Don't tell me "West Village" or "SoHo", I need to know the specific streets/blocks we should promenade. Assume the blossoming love interest is mostly unfamiliar with NYC. Bonus points for good recommendations for a dinner venue.
High Line park. It's pretty, there are places to sit, it takes you through some good neighborhoods if you want to ditch the walk for a drink.
I haven't been to Txikito, but it's been recommended enthusiastically by friends, and it works with the High Line.
Basically, it's difficult to get financing for art movies because it's harder to get financing for movies in general. Theatrical rentals are low enough that it doesn't make sense to release a lot of movies per year, meaning each movie you release better have a bunch of safe exploitable licensing streams, meaning superheroes. It's not like you can't make money from smaller films but theatrical rentals are small enough that you can't make that much, and actors etc work on them for cuts.
As always since I'm a litigator my knowledge of the film industry is about three years out of date. My impression is that things are getting a little better as the pool of exploitable film-fimance suckers expands with the economy and distribution gets smarter. From 2008-2014 or so, however, mid-size/quality films were financed surprisingly completely by Larry Ellison's daughter, meaning that you had database software ultimately to thank for most quality smaller-movie Hollywood product.
||
Do I know anyone familiar with tinder mores?
|>
I could swear tologosh had talked about it?
the pool of exploitable film-fimance suckers
Every time you say a thing like that, it makes me happy I get movies from alternative sources the public library, instead of seeing them at the theater.
159, 160: You rang?
I've done the Tinder thing (and still am, actually), but I'm looking for more than a hookup, as are most of the women I'm swiping right on. I know that for the younger crowd it's more hookup oriented. I'm happy to answer questions about my experiences but I'm willing to bet that Tinder mores are somewhat regional. If I recall where nosflow is I'm willing to bet it's more of a hookup app than it is around here (Northern Virginia).
162: Just for the record, my nephew (in his mid-20s) met his girlfriend on Tinder. I think they've been together close to 2 years now.
163: Since we're also collecting geographical data, this was in Boston.
Huh. I still can't spell togolosh.
165: YES, YOU CAN!
(maybe I watched too much of the convention)
I hope Black Adder took LB's advice and went for a romantic stroll on the High Line.
167: Probably not yet -- only 3:45 pm in NY.
Oh right, but it's what I would have suggested. And do. And if you start at the north end you'll end up in the West Village and can have a nice meal at a nice restaurant there.
I wouldn't call it advice so much as a cunning plan.
I told my Fremen cow orker who is coming for the conference in Columbus and will be staying a few days in NYC that she should take a leisurely stroll on the High Line when she asked for things to do in Manhattan.
Obviously, you should bring them to the meetup. Stress-test the relationship right at the beginning.
159 no big deal but I'm pretty much the #1 familiarest with those.
172: I thought about this and realized your cow orker must be going to IFLA. Right?
Thanks, LB. I am adopting your cunning plan in its entirety. Date isn't for another 10 days, though.
I went to the High Line a few years ago on a weekend afternoon on what didn't turn out to be part of a blossoming romance and it was crowded enough and not as interesting as we'd thought it would be, so we ditched it pretty quickly. Maybe evenings are nicer.
So any thoughts on time? I'm pretty flexible, but for the sake specificity: 8 o'clock? Is that too late?
Dive Bar. Ordinary, but pleasant and well conveniently located. Maybe make it seven?
I enjoyed it for the last NYC meetup.
Dive Bar is Terrence Malick approved.
Seven works for me.
Txikito was good. The squid ribbon pasta (not really pasta) was interesting and tasty.
not really pasta
So what was it really? Squid?
There are some things diners are not meant to know.
I will see some of you at Dive Bar at 7. The rest of you can go to hell and die.
Did you know there is a "Blanding's Turtle"? It has a really long neck that it puffs in and out like it's an unusually rugged frog.
188. No, the rest of us will feast on your live blogging.
189: Maybe someone can ask Jackmo about that.
HEY.
Trestle on Tenth for post High Line dining, ideally in the back garden.
Sorry we can't make tonight.
Here, at the bar, wearing a red tshirt that says "Inwood", realizing that I don't know Walt from Adam.
I have light brown hair and a beard.
Running a bit late. I keep fucking up the subway. I should be there in 15.
Good question. These New Yorkers are letting us down.
Perhaps they're lying, stabbed, in pools of their own blood, and Walt, smart fellow, is lying low.
Their own blood and the blood of others!
Their own blood and the blood of otters.
I swiped a spot of Scotch and ducked outside, but half of the kids followed me.
I'm not supposed to have a drink until everybody with a drinking problem leaves but I couldn't wait.
Hawaii claimed today that her injury involves an old scratch reopening and the blood from it got in her new scratch and stung.
Never attend a meetup that Walt is attending. You'll never be heard from again.
I note that Walt does not deny the accusation.
201 With all those knife fights at meet ups all these many years I suppose it was inevitable.
And there weren't even Knifecrimeans in attendance. The irony.
Has anyone ever met Mr. Someguy IRL? And lived to tell the tale?
I mourn LB but I'm glad that Blandings and Jackmormon are safe.
Has anyone ever met Mr. Someguy IRL? And lived to tell the tale?
Yes, I have, though he did wound me badly, enough so I assume that he figured me done for. Learned from that mistake, I figure.
Well, all I'm at liberty to say is this: We have all agreed never to speak of last night again.
Sorry, I'm a terrible liveblogger, and recovery from the blip loss took a little while.
Blood loss. My spelling hasn't recovered completely.
We're decadent liberals. If it had been a mere orgy, the pictures would already be on FB by now.
There's many a slip 'twixt the cup and the blip.