So, this hasn't happened in a while, has it?
"Vixere. IYKWIMAITYD."
(Thanks, Mary Beard!)
2 to the poster of the OP, not the OP.
"Luke, I am your father. You started in my balls."
I couldn't very well hijack another thread to encourage other people to play a game.
"I am not a crook. You can't prove that I am."
"To infinity, and beyond! It's really just taking a limit."
"Where we're going we don't need roads. Because the skateboards hover above the ground, not on it."
12: They're talking about the point at infinity, like stereographic projection.
"You had me at 'hello'. I'm slutty."
14: I better stop because I don't understand that.
The answer my friend is blowing in the wind. Your farts have a distinctive odor.
"I came to Casablanca for the waters. And to avoid US taxes."
"We'll always have Paris, Texas"
"I like big butts, as would be predicted by evolutionary psychology because on the veldt a bit butt would indicate better nutrition and thus a greater capacity to pass my genes into the next generation."
"We'll always have Paris. Just like Rick Solomon."
"I like big buts, and I can't deny that they're more interesting than if-then clauses for establishing nuance."
An eye for an eye leaves the whole world blind, but in that case everyone will be at an equal disadvantage.
"We'll always have Paris Hilton."
"Alas, poor Yorick! I knew him well. He was a skeleton."
"Who wants to sex Mutombo? Or maybe just hang out and get to know each other?"
"I have the most marvelous proof, which this margin is too small to contain. You'll have to find it by looking at first couple pages in the green notebook on that shelf over there."
"I knew Jack Kennedy, and Senator, you're no Jack Kennedy, from this angle. From the profile, I see that you've got a similar nose-chin thing going on."
Two roads diverged in a wood, and I--. I took the one less traveled by, and my wife asked me why I can't just stop and ask for directions.
"This is a .44 Magnum, the most powerful handgun in the world and would blow your head clean off. But I'm only overcompensating for emotional shortcomings, so don't get any ideas about my penis."
"First they ignore you, then they laugh at you, then they fight you, then you win, then they misattribute your quotes after you're dead."
"Yes we can, provided there isn't too much obstructionism from the other party!"
"I just want to tell you both - good luck. We're all counting on you. I know I came in and said that a couple of times before but it's really important, okay?"
"I kissed a girl and I liked it. I thought she did too, but then she muttered something about not performing for the heterosexual male gaze and left."
Brevity is the soul of wit, so fuck you, clown.
It's a Sicilian message. It means Luca Brasi sleeps with the fishes. In the Sicilian dialect, the same word isn't used for singular and plural fish.
Here's looking at you, kid. The name's Milo.
Not that Belladonna Took ever had any adventures after she became Mrs. Bungo Baggins. IYKWIMAITYD."
I swear I didn't do that with the tags.
"Today, I consider myself the luckiest man on the face of the Earth.... I mean, how many guys can say they've got a fatal disease named after them?"
It is a truth universally acknowledged, that a single man in possession of a good fortune, must be in want of a wife. Ironic, isn't it?
Reminds me of the game "Titles that Didn't Quite Make It" that Salman Rushdie and Hitchens would play:
For Whom the Bell Rings
Mr Zhivago
etc.
For a long time I used to go to bed early. Gotta be ready to take on that day!
He heard the snow falling faintly through the universe and faintly falling, like the descent of their last end, upon all the living and the dead. Whattaya gonna do?
"Bangkok! Oriental setting. Shit. Asian. I meant to say Asian setting."
"Like sands through the hourglass, so are the days of our lives. Surrounded by glass and flipped over every time an egg is cooked."
"Love is a snowmobile racing across the tundra and then suddenly it flips over, pinning you underneath. At night, the ice weasels come. But they aren't real ice weasels, because there's no such thing. They represent metaphorical lawyers."
"It's the stuff that dreams are made of: lead and glazing."
"Well, I'm back," he said. "I hope you didn't screw Saruman."
"We were somewhere around Barstow, on the edge of the desert, when the drugs began to take hold. It was far out, man."
"So we beat on, boats against the current, borne back ceaselessly into the past, or at least across the Sound to Connecticut, weather permitting."
"He had won the victory over himself, he loved Big Brother. Not in a gay way, though."
"I'll never go hungry again, unless I run out of old curtains."
"It is a far, far better thing that I do, than I have ever done. Except your mom."
When the going gets weird the weird turn pro, and maybe print posters or something.
"Four score and seven years ago our fathers brought forth on this continent a new nation, conceived in Liberty, and dedicated to the proposition that all men are created equal. Four score and seven means eighty seven years ago. See what I did there?"
"Literary effect. Watch and learn."
His palms are sweaty, knees weak, arms are heavy
There's vomit on his sweater already, mom's spaghetti
He's nervous, but on the surface he looks calm and ready
To drop bombs, but he keeps on forgetting
Was this week his turn to summarize Piketty?
For sale: baby shoes, never worn. Ordered accidentally.
She wore scarlet begonias tucked into her curls. I knew right away she was not like other girls. Other girls . . . would have worn those flowers on a barrette.
I think that I shall never see a poem as lovely as a tree. But then I'll never hear a tree as good as a poem.
There are so many great ones, but 62 made me laugh out loud.
His soul swooned slowly as he heard the snow falling faintly through the universe and faintly falling, like the descent of their last end, upon all the living and the dead, but fortunately the windows were boarded up so the dead couldn't get in.
"The seaweed is always greener, in somebody else's lake, like the saying about grass and a fence."
"Exterminate all the brutes! Taking everything into consideration I have concluded that it would probably be for the best if someone killed them all."
Mr. McGuire: I want to say one word to you. Just one word. Benjamin: Yes, sir.
Mr. McGuire: Are you listening?
Benjamin: Yes, I am.
Mr. McGuire: Plastics. They have a lot of upside potential.
So I assumed. Because the one was pithy while the other was labored and unoriginal.
It sucked but I'm too polite to say so.
Go ahead, make my daytrip. I don't really care where we go.
Let there be light, because I can't post comments in the dark.
Let there be light, inside of a dog it's too dark to read.
I did not have sexual relations with that woman, unless blowjobs count.
I was a Flower of the mountain yes when I put the rose in my hair like the Andalusian girls used or shall I wear a red yes and how he kissed me under the Moorish Wall and I thought well as well him as another and then I asked him with my eyes to ask again yes and then he asked me would I yes to say yes my mountain flower and first I put my arms around him yes and drew him down to me so he could feel my breasts all perfume yes and his heart was going like mad and yes I said yes I will Yes. Sleep tight, Leopold.
Gregor Samsa awoke one morning from uneasy dreams and he found himself transformed in his bed into a gigantic insect, he was quite astonished really.
life, liberty, the pursuit of happiness, and a pony.
Frankly, my dear, I don't give a damn. I couldn't give a flying fuck.
Is 83 actual literature or something? I can't place it.
87: Molly Bloom's soliloquy at the end of Ulysses.
87 Molly Bloom's soliloquy in Ulysses.
Great. I've given myself a lifetime exemption from reading Joyce.
There were plenty of days coming when he could fish the swamp. Except for the days when he had to be at Zumba class.
Wouldn't it be pretty to think so. But let's be honest with each other.
I couldn't decide whether to be or not to be on the parade clean-up crew.
My god, it's full of stars, you guys.
I am haunted by waters, because I spent a lot of time on rivers with my brother and dad when I was young. Mom worried about us.
This is the way the world ends
Not with a bang but a whimper
Because of our corruption and lack of vitality.
I think I might have gout. Et tu, Brute?
"Know whut I mean, Vern? Your name is Vern, isn't it?"
"We are made of star stuff. Also, dinosaur shits."
My offer is this: nothing up front, 30% upon receipt of half the merchandise, and the balance payable within 90 days of receipt of the remainder.
64
Heh.
Indeed. Don't bother reading any more because half the time that's all I say and I'm a standard issue Republican partisan who just calls himself a libertarian.
Ask for me tomorrow, and you shall find me a grave man. Grave.
"You maniacs! You blew it up! God damn you! God damn you all to hell for ruining the Earth and human civilization!"
Lay on, Macduff, and damned be him who first cries, "Hold, enough! Due process matters!"
Chicago, New York, Detroit and it's all on the same street. Glebe Road.
Only for the sake of the hopeless ones have we been given hope, otherwise they'd be really hopeless.
Forget it, Jake. It's Chinatown. One stop past Union Station on the Gold Line.
A poem should not mean, but be. Or something like that.
Enlightenment is man's emergence from his self-imposed immaturity. Immaturity is the inability to use one's understanding without guidance from another. This immaturity is self-imposed when its cause lies not in lack of understanding, but in lack of resolve and courage to use it without guidance from another. Sapere Aude! "Have courage to use your own understanding!"-that is the motto of enlightenment.
And so they are ever returning to us, the dead, like Rasputin or something.
"I could've been a contender, I could've been somebody! Instead of a bum, which, let's face it, is not the part of this quote people are gonna remember!"
"Someone once told me time is a flat circle. Prepare to have your mind blown, detectives, I hope you're okay with sitting there silently for like a really long time."
["Conan! What is best in life?"] "To crush your enemies, see them driven before you, and to hear the lamentation of their women. Not to do anything else to the women, to be 100% clear; just, you know... listening."
It's not your fault.
It's not your fault.
It's not your fault.
Don't focus on the parts that are your fault.
It's not your fault.
A census taker once tried to test me, and for the life of me I couldn't remember my old zip code.
Mrs. Robinson, you're trying to seduce me. Fuck you, clown.
"Each and every man under my command owes me one... hunnert... Nazi... scalps! Or thereabouts."
"I am the punishment of God: if you had not committed great sins, God would not have sent a punishment like me upon you. Now admittedly, I could also just be an asshole who kills people, but I like my first theory better."
110 is just beautiful. That's my word for "funny."
"Get away from her, you bitch! You're a bitch, you hear me?! Yeah, you're the one, that's right, I fucked your mother!"
"The only thing we have to fear is fear itself, which is, like, 'The Coward's Paradox' or some shit. I can't solve it."
I saw the best minds of my generation destroyed by madness, starving hysterical naked, this was in the days before SSRIs or effective antipsychotic medications.
Cry, cry, masturbate, cry, smile.
"The best minds of my generation are thinking about how to make people click ads. That sucks. "
So we beat on, boats against the current, borne back ceaselessly into the past that, like Gatsby, we are doomed never to recover.
Is this a dagger I see before me or am I just seeing things here?
A census taker once tried to test me, and for the life of me I couldn't remember my old zip code.
I can still recall my childhood postal codes, because my dad used to make up little mnemonic phrases to help us remember in case we ever got lost. For example, I once lived at K2H 7B1, which my dad rendered as "Keep two houses: seven-bedroom ones." Admittedly, this is a lot easier for codes that include both numbers and letters.
Friends, Romans, countrymen, lend me a couple of bucks. I've got this damned landlord.
Out, out, damned spot! This stain is really stubborn.
The pump don't work 'cause the Vandals took the handles. And the Ostrogoths took the bearings. It's just a mess all around.
In Xanadu did Kubla Khan
A stately pleasure dome decree
Where Alf my next door neighbour ran
Through caverns measureless to man
Down to a sunless sea.
(My phone autocorrects Xanadu to Canada which is even better.)
It is a truth universally acknowledged, that a single man in possession of a good fortune, must be in want of a wife- preferably one with a solid background in tax accountancy.
Workers of the world, unite! You have nothing to lose but your chains! By which I mean metaphorical chains. I am aware that very few of you are actually chained up.
"As far back as I can remember, I always wanted to be a gangster. Except for a few months when I was six years old and wanted to be Kermit the Frog."
If a lion could speak, we could not understand him. Unless we were lions as well, obviously. Then we could.
I've come here to chew bubblegum and kick ass and I'm all out of bubblegum so I shall proceed to the ass kicking part forthwith.
Tomorrow and tomorrow and tomorrow and tomorrow and tomorrow and tomorrow, doesn't it sound funny when you say it so many times?
To be or not to be; that is the question. Well one of the questions, anyway. I mean how do you actually *know* whether you exist or not?
Where wast thou when I laid the foundations of the earth? Declare, if thou hast understanding. Who hath laid the measures thereof, if thou knowest? or who hath stretched the line upon it? Whereupon are the foundations thereof fastened? or who laid the corner stone thereof; when the morning stars sang together, and all the sons of God shouted for joy? Or who shut up the sea with doors, when it brake forth, as if it had issued out of the womb? Me, I did, is the point I am trying to make here.
138 and 103 are particularly good. 103 because I can imagine that irritating prat Mercutio saying it.
What is it like to be a bat? Flappy.
Friends, Romans, Countrymen, Madam Chairman ...
I hope I die before I get old, at least if I haven't scored a decent pension
Klaatu Barada Nikto. Oh, hey, I got it first time!
Shall I compare thee to a summer's day? You're both pretty hot.
Some of you are changing quotes instead of adding on to the end. Respect the process.
A thing of beauty is a joy forever and ever.
They are. But 132 is cheating, as is 129.
"The lamps are going out all over Europe, we shall not see them lit again in our life-time. Because of America and Wilson."
"We're going to need a bigger boat if we want to have a proper shark party."
"Joey, have you ever been in a... in a Turkish prison? Or attended CPAC?"
"Nuts! I have not yet begun to fight!"
Life ... is a tale
Told by an idiot, full of sound and fury,
Signifying nothing. Zero. Zip. Zilch. Nada.
While we, Chani, we who carry the name of concubine -- history will call us wives. Metaphorically.
"Reader, I married him. Times being what they were, I had to seek security and status through binding myself to a male."
161: "im not even going to be nice when i have to have sex with her."
The old man was dreaming about the lions. Not the marlin eaten by sharks, the lions.
"Hard pounding, this, gentlemen. We shall see who can pound the longest. Hopefully, us!"
There seems to be something wrong with our bloody ships today. They keep blowing up.
"I sing of arms and the man. Before Crossfit, but still very well defined."
Out on thee, churl! The Emperor's no halfwit! Just not a morning person, is all.
A fellow will remember a lot of things you wouldn't think he'd remember. You take me. One day, back in 1896, I was crossing over to Jersey on the ferry. And as we pulled out, there was another ferry pulling in. And on it there was a girl waiting to get off. A white dress she had on. She was carrying a white parasol. I only saw her for one second. She didn't see me at all. But I'll bet a month hasn't gone by since that I haven't thought of that girl. IYKWIM.
England expects that every man will do his duty. And that means you, Able Seaman Perkins. Don't think I haven't go my eye on you.
-By God, sir, I've lost my leg!
-By God, sir, so you have. Must hurt like a bitch.
"In the great green room. There was a telephone. And a red balloon. And 98 other red balloons."
"Only the lonely know the way I feel tonight, which is lonely."
"Hang on a minute lads, I've got a great idea. Why don't we forget about the gold."
The building was on fire, and it wasn't my fault. This time there were literal winged monkeys involved.
Let us therefore brace ourselves to our duties, and so bear ourselves, that if the British Empire and its Commonwealth last for a thousand years, men will still say, "This was their finest hour". Or year, or decade. But hopefully it won't take that long.
Some chicken; some neck. More like a turkey, really. Or maybe some kind of goose.
Dann singe ich ein Lied für Dick
Semi-OT:
In Canada did Cobra Kai
A badass dojo hall decree
Where Alf my next door neighbor lunched
On kittens while the senseis punched
Their students in the knee
JULES: Now. I want you to go in that bag, and find my wallet.
RINGO: Which one is it?
JULES: It's the one that says, "bad motherfucker". Literally.
Tramps like us, baby, we born to run! Until we can afford a car.
185 corrected: Tramps like us, baby, we were born to run! Until we can afford a car.
You keep using that word. I do not think it means what you think it means. I think it means an object or circumstance which cannot be imagined.
Ask not what your country can do for you, ask what you can do for your country. On second thought, don't ask anything at all, these questions are annoying. Just make me a sandwich.
I believe that this nation should commit itself to achieving the goal, before this decade is out, of landing a man on the moon and returning him safely to the earth. That last part is important, because the Russians will beat us if one-way trips are allowed.
A well regulated Militia, being necessary to the security of a free State, the right of the people to keep and bear Arms, shall not be infringed. Even bazookas for people with active paranoid delusions.
"We must stop the terror. I call upon all nations to do everything they can to stop these terrorist killers. Now watch this drive."
"Every girl is crazy about a sharp dressed man. Apparently not so much about the hobo beards, but we are what we are."
I am an American, Chicago born--Chicago, that somber city--and go at things as I have taught myself, free-style, and will make the record in my own way: first to knock, first admitted; sometimes an innocent knock, sometimes a not so innocent. Guilty, even.
The scar had not pained Harry for nineteen years. All was well. Apart from having had kids in his twenties, which, let me tell you, can get pretty fraught.
I think wizard childbirth would be good to have discussed in the book. I assume that mom just disapparates away and leaves the baby behind.
In the twilight of autumn it sailed out of Mithlond, until the seas of of the Bent World fell away beneath it, and the winds of the round sky troubled it no more, and borne upon the high airs above the mists of the world it passed into the Ancient West, and an end was come for the Eldar of story and of song. The end.
Because otherwise there would have been a "episiotimous" spell.
"Ceasarius" is already in use to make a salad.
The baby would just apparate Side-Along.
Is an internal side still called a side? Heebie will have to work the geometry.
Do you believe in miracles? Yes! I know we've all read our Hume, but work with me here.
Hmm. Maybe just wait until crowning and have somebody else side-along the baby to the next room.
"Are you ready for some football? Because here come some commercials for beer and pickup trucks."
Is side-alonging transitive?
Barefoot girl sitting on the hood of a Dodge drinking warm beer in the soft summer rain. She went into the garage to dry off and get a colder beer out of the fridge.
"Jesus wept. Like a little wuss."
Put your makeup on, fix your hair up pretty. Meet me tonight in Atlantic City and bring all the quarters you can find in that jar of loose change on the kitchen counter.
"He's wild, you know. Not like a tame lion. In fact, he's Jesus."
"Hallo. My name is Inigo Montoya. You killed my father. Prepare to dine out on this story for weeks."
The most tender place in my heart is for strangers
I know it's unkind but my own blood is much too dangerous
In fact, my family of origin is outrageous.
205: I guess that's not explicitly covered.
They're a band beyond description. Like Jehovah's favorite choir. You can search the whole Old Testament and you won't find any description of His favorite choir.
I dont hate it he thought, panting in the cold air, the iron New England dark; I dont. I dont! I dont hate it! I dont hate it! But OK, maybe I'm a wee bit conflicted.
I don't know but I been told it's hard to run with the weight of gold. Other hand I've heard it said it's just as hard with the weight of lead. This is wrong, however, since gold weighs about 70% more than lead.
"Get busy living or get busy dying. Or continue to prevaricate."
There can be only one! For that reason, I am tendering my resignation immediately.
I came, I saw, I conquered, I got stabbed
And he that hath no stomach for the fight,
Let him depart; his passport shall be made
And crowns for convoy put into his purse.
Shit. Really? Everyone? OK, form an orderly queue.
In watermelon sugar the deeds were done and done again as my life was done in watermelon sugar or sometimes agave syrup when I was low-carbing it.
I thought of a great one as I was falling asleep but now I've forgotten it. Woe is me.
Why, man, he doth bestride the narrow world
Like a Colossus, and we petty men
Walk under his huge legs and peep about
To find ourselves dishonorable graves
In the shadow of his big swinging dick.
190- "That's one small step for... man, one giant leap for mankind. Oh crap, I forgot the article, didn't I? Do you think that changes the meaning? People will care about that? Ok, can we do another take? What do you mean that's the only shot?"
"You're only supposed to blow the bloody doors off! How much experience did you say you had with demolitions, exactly? I'm not impressed, to be quite honest."
Build thee more stately mansions, O my soul,
As the swift seasons roll!
Leave thy low-vaulted past!
Let each new temple, nobler than the last,
Shut thee from heaven with a dome more vast,
Because you can always get more bonds issued to pay for it
With a well-crafted development proposal.
"I have to warn you, I've heard relationships based on intense experiences never work. But then all human relationships are based on nonsense anyway."
Semi-pwned 202
But how shall we excuse the supine inattention of the Pagan and philosophic world to those evidences which were presented by the hand of Omnipotence, not to their reason, but to their senses? Maybe they just didn't happen?
"It seemed like a good idea at the time" is a good second part to many of these quotes.
173 is great too.
One of Many has been killing it in this thread.
It seems like a lot of these are basing their extension on the principle of an extremely bathetic appendage (or in 222, an extremely impressive appendage). But wouldn't it be nicer if the extension weren't half a punchline, but just led the whole thing to limp along a bit too much?
Bin so in Lieb' zu ihr versunken
Als hätt' ich von ihrem Blut getrunken
Wie ein Vampir.
230 was the principle behind my Keats and Mercutio, which I think were my best.
Why thank you gentleman. 111 was funny, despite my not getting the reference.
149 also made me laugh out loud. I agree that One of Many is hitting it out of the park.
While this America settles in the mould of its vulgarity, heavily thickening to empire
And protest, only a bubble in the molten mass, pops and sighs out—hiss—and the mass hardens, …
"And protest, only a bubble in the molten mass, pops and sighs out"
This bit always makes me think of oatmeal.
"Very well, then I contradict myself, I am large, I contain multitudes. Of tapeworms."
Some people don't think it be like it is but it do, pretty much.
219: Alternatively:
And he that hath no stomach for the fight,
Let him depart; his passport shall be made
And crowns for convoy put into his purse.
Brexit means Brexit
I will not slave for beggar's pay, likewise gold and jewels, but I would slave to find a way to sink your ship of fools. I've been watching youtube videos and it doesn't seem all that difficult to sink a boat.
Unadulterated:
'Yes, dammit, I said "was". The bitch is dead now.'
I always remember it without the 'now'. They cut it from the Craig movie too.
The bowed head, the buried face. She is silent, she will never speak, never forgive, never reach a hand, never leave this frozen present tense. All waits, suspended. Suspended the autumn trees, the autumn sky, anonymous people. A blackbird, poor fool, sings out of season from the willows by the lake. A flight of pigeons over the houses; fragments of freedom, hazard, an anagram made flesh. And somewhere the stinging smell of burning leaves. A nearby robin eating a worm, still-green grass turning brown, what will Alison decide to do?
If music be the food of love, play on. If not, then don't.
230: You could do that, and that's a valid approach,cf the Keats. However, I think the bathetic appendage works as well. What bothers me is empty bathos; that is to say, suffixes that do nothing but render the line stupid. Contrast "A screaming comes across the sky. It must be that gull I set on fire" with "A screaming comes across the sky. Boy, do my ears hurt!". I like the first one way better, not that either is great.
Cry 'Havoc!', and let slip the dogs of war. My fiercest hounds, Charlie, Sampson, Hunter, and Rex.
My heart aches, and a drowsy numbness pains
My sense, as though of hemlock I had drunk
Or maybe it was something I ate.
"I want to know what love is. I want you to show me. I don't live in Arkansas."
The sky above the port was the color of television tuned to a dead channel. I mean the black and white fuzz, not a blue screen. I guess you have to be over a certain age to get this metaphor.
"If you want a vision of the future, imagine a boot stamping on a human face - forever. Or a golf shoe with the little spikes."
The summer sun looked down on him,
His mother could but frown on him,
And all the other sound on him,
He had to die, you know he had to die, or at least get a job.
(for CC)
"Ours not to reason why, ours but to do and die. Laydeez."
Cannon to right of them,
Cannon to left of them,
Cannon behind them
Volleyed and thundered;
Stormed at with shot and shell,
While horse and hero fell,
They that had fought so well
Came through the jaws of Death,
Back from the mouth of Hell,
All that was left of them,
Left of six hundred and one.
For those about to rock, we salute you. You are very fine rockers.
"I saw the best minds of my generation destroyed by madness. Where 'best' is defined only by a priori measures."
"It was Beauty killed the Beast. Unusually name but great fighter pilot."
My weariness amazes me
I'm stranded on my feet
I have no one to meet
And this ancient empty Street's
Too dead for dreaming
Better check Facebook
"I have crossed oceans of time to find you -- uh... sorry, you have something in your teeth. Just there. No, no... to the left."
"You either die a hero, or you live long enough to see your dialogue become foreshadowing."
"This famous linguist once said that of all the phrases in the English language, of all the endless combinations of words in all of history, that salad or... salad or something-or-other was the most beautiful."
258: I was thinking along similar lines
Darling you got to let me know
Should I stay or should I go?
I await the pleasure of your reply.
These are all so wonderful. I'm pausing at 65 so I can regain my breath and not use them all up at once.
Massive oh shit moment about something that could lose me my job, literally on way of office in taxi in dead of nigmt to check if I have fucked up biig time
Irish commmenter
"Irish commmenter" is driving me nuts -- I have no idea (dalriata would have been a strong contender for Irish, but apparently not). But best wishes, whoever you are.
emir
Well worth taxi ride
At all costs must lodge papers in land registry tomorrow
Person whose handle is also a term for a middle-Eastern potentate?
Dublin, not Constantinople. (D'oh, pwned on preview.)
Awesome! Glad it's resolved--sounds like a serious oh shit moment. And that reminds me, I need to post the picture from our meetup in December!
270 to 268, but pwned by 269. (Glad it worked out.)
It's not that there was a problem that might have lost our client 60k that would have been job ending. The original issue is only partly my fault and that's what we have insurance for.
It's that I although worked out a plan to maybe fix it (obscure rules for priority over a judgement mortgage) and got the client to sign the papers I never actually lodged them* because I have to sit down and fix a few details and I keep putting it off.
Starting thinking about this tonight and got panicky, was doing Land Registry searches on my phone and couldn't find the lands registered in the name of the guy who owes our client the money. (Turns out I had the surname wrong.) Got taxi because I was too nervous to drive). Really needed to shoutout to somebody while I was panicking, thanks guys. I was also working out worst case solutions but since they would might ultimately involve getting family to help me pay personally they were far from ideal.
*this sort of thing my Achilles heel. Okay maybe it's time to go back to the counsellor for help in sorting out my self sabotaging habits.
I think I will have a little drinkie now.
274, 275. I second that emotion. Because I share it.
What a good fun thread to read while surfacing briefly from endless work, and honestly even better for having a work disaster tucked in at the end, just a little memento mori. (Glad it was ok.)
Wasn't add-a-word-ruin-a-movie a twitter thing for a minute? The only one I remember is "Not Zardoz."
Hey Clytie -- my phone wanted that to be "hey Cutie," so take your pick -- did you ever read "Juneteenth"? I ask because it was at some point conceived as an Oklahoma novel, and also it contains some of the best American writing of its century, and I recall that you like to read books and stuff.
No more time to tell how, this is the season of what. Specifically what middle aged low information white men in the upper midwest think the federal government does.
[TBH, it's hard to find something more incongruous than eight sided whispering hallelujah hatrack!]
Я вас любил
Любовь ещё, быть может
В душе моей
Угасла не совсем
Но наверно, да, угасла.
Now that's just showing off.
Specifically what middle aged low information white men in the upper midwest think the federal government does.
Steals their women?
I'll drink your health, share your wealth, run your life, steal your wife.
What I want to know is are you kind.
What rough beast, its hour come round at last, slouches towards Bethlehem to be born again
"My very photogenic mother died in a freak accident (picnic, lightning strike, severe burns and lung damage; it was startling and tragic)."
It really gets to me sometimes
(Almost as if this were some sort of jungle)
Makes me wonder how I'm going to cope.
The trouble with Charley's stuff is that Hunter does self-deflation better
Come round the bend
You know it's the end
The fireman screams
-- and the engine just gleams
Is terser Macgonagall
277: I do remember that. "Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory Massacre," "Scott Pilgrim vs. The Third World" and "Bruno Mars Attacks" were all pretty droll.
It and similar games are a regular thing on @Midnight and they invite Twitter to contribute.
Like "films it is important not to confuse with each other" which I think we played here:
Before Sunrise/ From Dusk Till Dawn
Sleeper/Sleepers
Annie/Carrie
etc.
My son saw "From Dusk Till Dawn" on the Netflix screen and asked to see it. That was one of the easier parenting decisions.
Hmmm. Would a FPP mind pseuding that up please?
It was a bright cold day in April, and the clocks were striking thirteen. Switching to twenty-four hour timekeeping in had eliminated a lot of annoying ambiguity.
One must have chaos within oneself, to give birth to a dancing star, or to compete oneself in Dancing with the Stars.
Another one bites the dust which tastes really bad.
"An unexamined life is not worth living. So far as I can guess."
"Seven nays and one aye, the ayes have it. Fuck you Seward."
Drops mic, pops open stovepipe hat. Exit.
Altogether elsewhere, vast
Herds of reindeer move across
Miles and miles of golden moss
Silently and very fast
Santa Claus is coming to town!
Like "films it is important not to confuse with each other" which I think we played here:
Canonically, The Aristocats/The Aristocrats.
My brother tried to watch Donnie Brasco once and ended up with Donnie Darko.
Thank you! Just realised it might have been better as:
Altogether elsewhere, vast
Herds of reindeer move across
Miles and miles of golden moss
Silently and very fast
Coming to town: Santa Claus!
These are the times that try men's souls, for sure.
As were a bunch of yours, Moby. Particularly 58.
I keep trying to rhyme "Claus" with "moss". It sort of works.
Me miserable! which way shall I fly
Infinite wrauth and infinite despair?
Which way I fly is Hell; myself am Hell;
I just feel like, no matter what I do,
I can't find happiness,
You know?
Peak chris y is in my opinion divided between 187, 181, and 140.
318: It's at best an off rhyme, as I pronounce it.
I (think I) pronounce the vowel in "moss" inconsistently, but sometimes it's the same as the vowel in "Claus." I would expect people in the inland north to more consistently have them rhyme.
so much depends
upon
a red wheel
barrow
glazed with rain
water
beside the white
chickens.
it will surely
make
moving those
stones
behind the
shed
so much
easier!
I'd guess it's the same issue as whether the dialect exhibits cot-caught merger. But IANALinguist.
I have eaten
the plums
that were in
the icebox
and which
you were probably
saving
for breakfast
Forgive me
they were delicious
so sweet
and so cold
I'm a terrible
roommate. Did I
mention I also
used up the milk?
Those must be the real words to ogged's poem?
I have eaten
the plums
that were in
the icebox
and which
you were probably
saving
for breakfast
Forgive me
they were delicious
so sweet
and so cold
YUM!!!!
I and the public know
What all schoolchildren learn
Those to whom evil is done
Do evil in return
Like Jack who yanked Sally's curls
Who then depantsed young Roland
Who purple-nurpled Tim
Then invaded Poland
330 is excellent and had the added virtue of introducing to me the delightfully horrific expression, "purple-nurple".
301: however, it helps a lot to keep the chaos *within*. Chaos leaking out is a sign of poor technique.
Ditto to 331. It's funny how much of "September 1, 1939" applies right now in the US. E.g. people trying to hold on to normality in their private lives.
Defenceless under the night
Our world in stupor lies;
Yet, dotted everywhere,
Ironic points of light
Flash out wherever the Just
Exchange their messages
Mainly cock-jokes.
Rock your baby to and fro, not too fast and not too slow. If you go too fast, she'll probably spit up on you; too slow, and she'll keep fussing.
Found this on reddit and it's way too good not to steal.
This city is afraid of me...I have seen its true face. The streets are extended gutters and the gutters are full of blood and when the drains finally scab over, all the vermin will drown. The accumulated filth of all their sex and murder will foam up about their waists and all the whores and politicians will look up and shout "Save us!"... and I'll look down and whisper "No problemo."
The apparition of these faces in the crowd;
Petals on a wet, black bough
Held by one dude in the crowd
Look pretty
331: I envy anyone who only learns what a purple-nurple is in adulthood.
I despise you, I despise your order, your laws, your force propped authority. Hang me for it! Assholes!
Ask for work. If they do not give you work, ask for bread. If they will not give you bread -- take the bread. And some other sandwich fixings, whatever you like, really.
I say we take off and nuke the entire site from orbit. It's the only way to be sure. Because these xenomorphs are extremely dangerous, and we're not even really sure how they propagate themselves (well, except for the developmental stages which involve a human host, with which we are all far too familiar.)
I've seen things you people wouldn't believe. Attack ships on fire off the shoulder of Orion. I watched c-beams glitter in the dark near the Tannhäuser Gate.
All those moments will be lost in time, like tears in rain. Only 2019s kids will remember!!
"Give me your clothes, your boots, and your motor scooter."
"In the game of Donkey Kong, Lord Stark, you win or you die. There is no middle ground."
"I lied. I'm going to kill you first. How's that for a surprise, eh?"
"They're coming outta the walls. They're coming outta the goddamn walls. Let's book! Let's run really fast! Away!"
Game over man! Game over! we'll have to respawn at the last save point!
It'll be dark soon and they mostly come at night. Mostly. Like your mom.
Do I contradict myself? Fake news! SAD!
"Friends, Romans, countrymen, lend me your ears....of corn."
"A horse, a horse! My kingdom for a horse! Not a shitty one though."
Someday we'll find it--the Rainbow Connection--the lovers, the dreamers, and me. Just make sure you budget enough time to make it, what with Border Patrol stopping more people. Jesus, it's like all of our airports have turned into CDG.
Why do birds suddenly appear every time you are near? Is your hat covered in seeds?
'I saw the best minds of my generation destroyed by madness. After a while I started to wonder if it was something I said."
Do I contradict myself? Very well then, I contradict myself. I am large, I contain multitudes. Like your mom.
To dream the impossible dream.
To fight the unbeatable foe.
To bear with unbearable sorrow.
To run where the brave dare not go.
These all seem like poor ideas from a utilitarian perspective.
It's people. Soylent Green is made out of people. And not attractive ones either.
Who put the bomp in the bomp-bah-bomp-bah-bomp? The bomp-bah-bomp-bah-bomp is not parking for unregistered bomps. Please move your bomp or it will be towed.
And I know if I'll only be true
To this glorious quest
That my heart will lie peaceful and calm
When I'm laid to my rest
Because I'll know that I've done my best
Whereof one cannot speak, thereof one must be silent. Hans, I'm talking about you, you pompous ass.
I refute it thus! Does your toe think that's an Idea?
Put your right hand in, take your right hand out.
Put your right hand in, and shake it all about.
You do the hokey pokey and you turn yourself around.
That's what's it's all about.
Proctology.
You're supposed to make it worse, not better.
When in the Course of human events it becomes necessary for one people to dissolve the political bands which have connected them with another and to assume among the powers of the earth, the separate and equal station to which the Laws of Nature and of Nature's God entitle them, a decent respect to the opinions of mankind requires that they should declare the causes which impel them to the separation. Hate the game, not the player.
There's a lady who knows all that glitters is gold, and she's buying the stairway to heaven, which is cocaine, because it gets you "high", get it?
Yes. It's been in my head enough that I had to pay royalties to Robert Plant.
Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. Mostly.
Grant me the strength to change that which I can, the serenity to accept that which I cannot, the wisdom to know the difference, and the charisma to pass my bluff checks.
Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. So why are you always nagging at me, bitch?
Dolly Parton's version of 373 is something else.
And I can easily understand
How you could easily take my man
But you don't know what he means to me, Jolene.
So ease on back off of him, girl.
"Badges? We don't need no stinkin' badges! We're actually criminals acting solely by force."
If you plant ice, you're going to harvest wind. Which is really difficult to store, I'll tell you what.
Jessie's got himself a girl and I want to make her mine. Jessie is a cuckservative.