Re: Kids' Stuff

1

Oh yeah, we relied on that thing heavily for years. I know exactly what it is without clicking through.


Posted by: heebie-geebie | Link to this comment | 05- 7-17 8:07 PM
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2

But which of ogged's two links is heebie referring to?? The world may never know.


Posted by: teofilo | Link to this comment | 05- 7-17 8:26 PM
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3

The alarm clock. You're welcome, World.


Posted by: heebie-geebie | Link to this comment | 05- 7-17 8:32 PM
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4

Thanks, heebie!


Posted by: The World | Link to this comment | 05- 7-17 8:34 PM
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5

Anyway, when I first read this post I was so sure heebie had written it that I didn't even look at the "posted by" name, then when heebie commented on it I was very confused.


Posted by: teofilo | Link to this comment | 05- 7-17 8:35 PM
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6

5 Same here.


Posted by: Barry Freed | Link to this comment | 05- 7-17 8:39 PM
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7

After I read the first paragraph I thought Oh you should get a time timer.
I also endorse 5.


Posted by: SP | Link to this comment | 05- 7-17 10:13 PM
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8

5,6,7: Me four.


Posted by: One of Many | Link to this comment | 05- 7-17 11:19 PM
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9

Why don't you just tell them to stay the fuck out of your room? No wonder civilization is crumbling.


Posted by: Mossy Character | Link to this comment | 05- 7-17 11:37 PM
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10

9: Even if you work hard at it and manage decent success, there will be nights when your ex sends one home from a weekend with obvious untreated strep but it's too late to get the child to the doctor and so she wanders into your room blearily crazy early in the morning to complain about her new rash and desire to be tucked about in with something soothing to drink. At least in this modern world you can go online while you try to decide whether it's worth getting back to sleep for an hour or two before getting the other child dressed for school. Probably is, right?


Posted by: Thorn | Link to this comment | 05- 8-17 1:31 AM
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11

Definitely is. Also, you can easily forward rash photos to the presiding judge.


Posted by: Mossy Character | Link to this comment | 05- 8-17 1:36 AM
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12

Maybe you should wait until office hours though.


Posted by: Mossy Character | Link to this comment | 05- 8-17 1:37 AM
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13

There is finally progress being made on the legal front, but "your honor, it's 4:45 am and here's a photo of child's nude back" is not particularly it. And I'm fine with that.


Posted by: Thorn | Link to this comment | 05- 8-17 1:43 AM
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14

This would have been a tremendous benefit to my parents, who at one point had one small son who could just about tell the time and another smaller son who couldn't quite yet, in rooms next door to each other. So on Christmas Eve my parents made very clear indeed to their excited but dutiful children that they were ON NO ACCOUNT to get out of bed before 7 on Christmas morning, in order to allow them to get a bit of sleep. Naturally we both woke up at about 6.

SCENE: an empty hallway with Christmas decorations, paper chains etc. Two closed doors lead through to the children's bedrooms.

My brother (offstage, shouting loudly): "Is it seven o'clock yet?"
Me (offstage, also shouting loudly): "No, it's 6.03."
pause
My brother (offstage, shouting): "Is it seven o'clock yet?"
Me (offstage, shouting): "No, it's 6.05."
pause
My brother (offstage, shouting): "Is it seven o'clock yet?"
Me (offstage, shouting): "No, it's 6.10."
pause
My brother (offstage, shouting): "Is it seven o'clock yet?"
Me (offstage, shouting): "No, it's 6.12."
And so on.


Posted by: ajay | Link to this comment | 05- 8-17 1:44 AM
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15

There is finally progress being made on the legal front, but "your honor, it's 4:45 am and here's a photo of child's nude back" is not particularly it.

That would be a rash move.


Posted by: ajay | Link to this comment | 05- 8-17 1:46 AM
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16

Sometimes you need to know when to quit.


Posted by: Mossy Character | Link to this comment | 05- 8-17 3:13 AM
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17

ogged, how old are the kids in question?

And also, damn, you can just double the price of anything having to do with kids, can't you?


Posted by: foolishmortal | Link to this comment | 05- 8-17 5:23 AM
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18

Kids and dogs.


Posted by: SP | Link to this comment | 05- 8-17 6:10 AM
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19

That's because it takes like six of them to pull a rickshaw. Even if you pay them less than 1/2 of what you pay an adult, you're still losing money at the same fare.


Posted by: Moby Hick | Link to this comment | 05- 8-17 6:11 AM
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20

how old are the kids in question?

18 and 20.


Posted by: ogged | Link to this comment | 05- 8-17 6:42 AM
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21

YOu can't fool us, Ogged. Ume and I were trying to work out the Cambridge Teenage Coma scale this morning (5: produces grammatical sentences, 4:makes eye contact, down to 0: does not respond to phone). No alarm clock that does not contain high explosive and probably shrapnel as well could possibly work on the age group.


Posted by: NW | Link to this comment | 05- 8-17 9:31 AM
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22

Oh, man, Newt is at a solid 0 on that scale every morning. Sleeps undisturbed by an alarm that can wake me from two rooms away. He does not awake unless shaken. I have no idea what will happen in college, but I think it'll include being murdered by a roommate.


Posted by: LizardBreath | Link to this comment | 05- 8-17 9:50 AM
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23

My roommate was not a morning person, and every Sunday I had to get up at 8 for track practice. My alarm would go off, she'd sit up and shout fuck!! really loudly, and then lie down again. After a few weeks, I nervously asked her if she was mad at me about my alarm? She just looked at me puzzled and asked "what alarm?" I told her about my Sunday alarm and her shouting fuck, and she had no memory of any of it. We both laughed, and she continued doing it and not remembering for the rest of the year.


Posted by: Buttercup | Link to this comment | 05- 8-17 2:19 PM
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24

22

My junior year, the guy next door had a really loud alarm that he'd sleep through but would wake me up. I thought about murdering him pretty much daily, except I probably couldn't break down the door. Then he left his alarm on when he left for spring break, and it went off for about 6 hours straight before I could track someone down who could get in and turn it off. I don't really know the guy at all, except he's on my list of Least Favorite People.


Posted by: Buttercup | Link to this comment | 05- 8-17 2:21 PM
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25

21 - lol, I like.

My kids were/are not morning people, so I rarely had to deal with 6 am disturbances. Even our dog quickly turned out not to be a morning person.


Posted by: asilon | Link to this comment | 05- 8-17 2:53 PM
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