She should try lesbian sexual fantasies. Then she can picture her husband saying, "Go ahead."
My ideal vacation would involve a long hiking trip through some place scenic except that I wouldn't have to camp or cook my own dinner because there are towns along the trail I could stay at. I believe this is possible in a place called "Wales," but my latest research (watching "Hinterland") shows it to be way too dangerous.
You could do that on the West Highland Way. It'd take about a week.
How old are your kids now? I believe I remember you saying months ago that they're old enough that you can have conversations with them about hobbies and stuff. That should mean less shitwork, at least literally.
But I realize that parenting remains hard the whole time, just in different ways. Atossa is big enough now that when she wakes up crying before 6 a.m., she can tell us what she wants with some degree of clarity. This morning, it was "milk", "juice", and "TV." Sometimes when she wakes up early, the only thing she wants is "book".
Summer vacation is sort of my ideal vacation, to be fair. I putter around the house, have time to get my shit done, work on some idle work-related projects, get dinner pre-made, go for a jog, etc. Pick the kids up early from camp on occasion but mostly they are out of the house during the bulk of the workday. Leisurely evenings with the family.
5: 2,4,6,8 (and yes, we do have them sound off and then chant "Who do we appreciate? Geebies! Geebies! Yeah!)
The youngest has started potty training and is actually wearing underwear this week, which is huge. We have definitely rounded a corner where it is less intense than it use to be.
Parenting this summer is difficult because Pokey seems to be rapidly deteriorating. We're getting him a psych eval next week, to be honest.
Any idea what's going on, or is it just kind of inexplicable?
Ideal vacation: some new city I haven't been to, in either a temperate or bitterly cold climate, with good cuisine, architecture and museums. And a world class aquarium.
2: Have you considered the Pennine Way?
That goes so close to Newcastle I would be afraid to bring my lucky coal.
I haven't had a vacation I really enjoyed in a very long time. Tim was difficult about traveling, and I find managing logistics stressful, and with kids everything's about the logistics. I'm not even sure what I'd want to do with no restrictions.
Somewhere with a Mediterranean climate, some decent hills, good swimming and diving, a cabin with a veranda I can sit on in the evenings, possibly a village nearby with a small bar. Basically a cross between Eastern Cape Province and Catalina.
I've daydreamed about bike touring -- the kind with preplanned hotels and support. But not practical with uninterested family.
You could buy a Pontiac Catalina and drive to the Eastern Cape Province.
15 to 13.
14: Couldn't you put the uninterested family in the van with the support?
Probably not too different from Moby's. Somewhere with an oceanic climate, lots of hiking and kayaking, maybe throw in a city or two with some history and a good local alcohol industry for when I get tired. Scotland's been good for us in the past on the hiking and history front. Should probably try British Columbia at some point.
I've been fantasizing about Falkland via Google Earth recently; they've made a lot of progress on mine removal.
There are supposed to be very cheap tickets from here to Iceland. Might try to do that sometime.
The Western, as opposed to Eastern, Cape does in fact have a Mediterranean climate, small towns, bars, verandahs, and hills. The water is fucking cold though.
18: My wife and I were checking it out and it was absurd. They were practically domestic flights. If anything Iceland probably needs to back off on how easy it is to get there. But we should probably give it a try since it's on the list, too. And it'd be easy to drive around the country--just one big loop.
If you hit an elf while driving, I bet you get cursed.
What I really want out of a vacation, come to think, is a tropical beach with a reliable overcast. I love swimming, I love surf, I love small boats, pretty much anything you can do with an ocean. But I really can't hack being out in the sun much -- even with sunscreen and hats, spending more than a day or so on the beach, I end up unpleasantly sunburned somehow, and worrying about takes the fun out of everything else.
8: therapist and psych eval doc both speculate "oppositional-defiant disorder". In practice it means:
1. hypercompetitive, and you cannot understate this
2. overly handsy and touchy with other kids - cannot keep his hands off them to the extent that it often bothers other kids
3. when faced with a consequence - ie, a mild discipline enforced for a mild transgression - he loses his shit and escalates to screaming and violence. Since the spring, the violence has gotten more prolonged and more intense.
My best guess is that it will go forward as working intensely on lagging developmental skills, being incredibly consistent between me and Jammies how we parent, and that it will not be the biggest problem a few years from now? Mostly, it's exhausting to always have to be an A+ parent, and it'd be nice to get him to a place where we can sometimes be B+ parents.
I guess you'd need to teach him racism first.
We spend a week every summer on a beautiful island full of liberals, many of whom are good friends. We get fed three meals a day, someone makes our bed, and there is a children's program that keeps our kid too busy to bother us much. That's a pretty ideal vacation.
22: I am having the damnedest time this summer keeping Hawaii from getting regularly sunburned across the bridge of her nose. If I were around, I could make her wear a hat plus rashguard, and then regular sunscreen on her face seems to be enough. But when she's on her own at camp, they pause to have campers apply their own sunscreen, and if they're in someplace like a pool, it's never enough coverage.
Rashguards are so much less stupid than wearing a t-shirt in the pool. I had to buy one for myself because it turns out that I don't like terrible pain.
Am I the only one who refers to adult rashguards as "Spanx® for Men"?
I'm going to do that from now out, though my own is not at all elastic-y enough to hold in my gut.
Rashguards are great -- I broke down and got one a couple of years ago -- but they still leave my legs and face out in the sun. It's all doable, I can spend a day at the beach and not hurt myself, but more than a day or so I get sloppy and screw up, and then I'm burned.
I also feel like an idiot sitting or napping on the beach, which I enjoy, but in my case involves being draped with a series of towels/sarongs so as to expose no skin. Basically, I'm on the beach disguised as a heap of laundry.
I've been here twice: http://verana.com/
It was absolutely amazing both times. I did just about nothing except drink frozen margaritas and read books while lying in a hammock.
It's always on my "definitely would go back, but I'm still going through my list of places I haven't been to yet"
They generally don't allow kids (although will make limited exceptions).
This summer I wear a rashguard and bike shorts (ones that are made for swimming, so that they don't deteriorate). I've never been happier. I love this get-up so much. None of my skin touches any other of my skin. There's a whole lot of walking to the river, walking to the pool, walking back and forth from various spots, and I'm so glad not to have thigh rub. The whole thing feels SO GOOD.
Basically, I'm on the beach disguised as a heap of laundry.
I laughed.
I really don't have too much trouble with sunburn on my legs, I think because I don't lay down in the sun. I have burned the tops of my feet on a few occasions. That is unpleasant.
Twice in the past year, Cassandane went to visit her parents in California and brought Atossa and I stayed home. Win-win. I enjoy their company, sure, but I also enjoy the bachelor life for a week. Atossa gets to see the grandparents. And while traveling alone with a toddler is more work for Cassandane than traveling with another adult and a toddler, she benefits in at least one respect: if Atossa gets up in the middle of the night, the grandparents deal with it, because the guest room Cassandane sleeps in is a long way away from the one where they set up the crib.
I don't want to make too much of Atossa getting up in the middle of the night or earlier in the morning than we'd like. She's a good sleeper overall, as just-barely-two-year-olds go, and has been for a while now. It's just on my mind because it happened both today and yesterday.
My ideal vacation... may be a staycation, honestly, but I've never had that while I had a job. I don't get much paid leave and there's always someone we're overdue for visiting. When Atossa and Cassandane go, I try to get stuff done around the house a little bit and play computer games even more or go to happy hours with friends, but I'm still working 8-hour days. It would be nice to get to some bigger projects around the house, rather than stuff I could do any day of the week and just don't get around to, or to see some of the many tourist attractions in this area that there's never time for.
Barring that, I really should go some place I don't speak the local language, some day, just for the experience of it. I basically never have. Probably won't until the kid is older, though.
That's more a problem if I'm doing something active but peculiar. Remember I posted about a ridiculous week I spent trying to surf a couple years ago? My god were the backs of my legs fucked up after that -- reapplying sunscreen every fortyfive minutes did nothing.
The youngest has started potty training and is actually wearing underwear this week, which is huge.
I suppose the youngest will grow into them.
I just spent a long weekend in a cabin on Lake of the Woods (2 hours from Winnipeg, although our drive was 10+ hours) and it was so much better than I expected. It was all adults and dogs but kids would have had a great time too. We sat on the dock and read, sat by the wood stove and read, ate tons of walleye, swam in the lake, walked a 1.5 mile road, boated (including into town where we tied up the boat at the grocery store!), saw magpies and eagles and ravens. There were some mosquitoes but no blackflies. The composting toilet wasn't too bad.
Being able to be on the water is basically what I always want in a vacation.
The best thing in life is when the rest of the family goes to visit the in-laws.
Prowling around strange cities would in theory be fun, but for some reason I haven't had a lot of good vacations in that category. That might, again, come down to Tim not having enjoyed traveling much; I should give that sort of thing a shot again.
I'm very pale but I'm fortunate that I actually tan; I have a farmer's tan for the first time in years and it's made my summer.
Possibly strange cities hold less appeal when you live in one of the biggest urban concentrations on the borders of New Jersey.
I haven't taken what I'd consider a "real" vacation in a long time--maybe a few long weekends in California 3-4 years ago pre-divorce, but other than that it's been staycation/visiting family if at all. Being un/underemployed will do that. I am heading up to a cabin on a lake next weekend with my girlfriend and absolutely can't wait. Someday when I'm financially recovered, foreign travel to beautiful/historic/gastrocentric locations is the order of the day. I don't care about relaxing on a beach--I don't find it relaxing and if, say, in the Yucatan, would much rather go look at old step pyramids.
43: Yeah, I'm not, actually, visually that pale; more bright pink with spots than Goth looking. But I don't tan at all.
44: No, I really like cities, so long as they're the kind you can walk around in, and they're all different; it's not like being familiar with NY makes Rome uninteresting.
I tan, but only after massive freckling and burning.
Also, my hair starts to turn from default white-person hair to sort of reddish brown.
I don't get the kissed-someone-I-shouldn't-have dream regrets, but dreams where I go off my diet can put me in a bad mood for days. This time round I've only cheated a couple times, both times deliberately and in a limited manner, and I'm feeling confident I can sustain discipline for the few more months I'll need at the current pace (although I know things tend to slow down when you get close to goal weight, so I'm trying to keep my anticipation in check). Weirdly enough, and not sure which direction the causal arrow flies, I haven't had the diet-cheating dreams this time around.
I just got a tanktop for variety (farmer's tan notwithstanding), possibly first time in my life. I was surprised how self-conscious I felt wearing it in the gym, because I saw very few guys there with bare shoulders, even in the weights area, and contrariwise very few women with covered shoulders. Has this become a norm while I wasn't paying attention? This is a pretty white gym, for context.
I don't own any tanktops, because they only have room for two wolves and the moon.
I just started lifting weights a bunch again recently (Chopper -- we're doing the same program), and felt weirdly conspicuous in t-shirts and shorts. Like you said, all the women in the gym are in tanks, to the point that a t-shirt looked weird. I gave up after a few weeks and bought some tanktops and leggings.
Interesting, not just me!
I really need to go back to Japan. All the transit and density and nature and good food hits all the buttons for me; plus much longer and I risk losing the language (it's been over a decade now). Need someone to go with though.
I've heard Japan is really expensive. Like I could walk my way across Scotland, eating and drinking well at every stop, for less than a couple of days in Japan.
Ideal vacation is a European or Asian city with history, interesting architecture, museums, and good cuisine and booze (especially beer), during a film festival with some time before/after the festival to check out the architecture and museums.
Right now my dream vacation would be a reunion with the seven core friends from college (three of us live within a mile now, but two of the others are hard to see) and their families. I dream that we'll get a giant house somewhere scenic, that we'll rotate who makes dinner, that the children will run in a cluster and that somewhere in there, I'll have enough free time that Anand and I can work on a crossword puzzle.
I have a list of these houses saved on AirBnB. One thing that surprised me: there are at least two giant ranch houses (sleeps 15-20 people) in CA on exotic animal ranches, owned by what appear to be cardiologists (when I search them down). Is this a cardiologist thing? To own a massive house on an exotic animal ranch, and help cover the costs by renting it out?
Also, I'd love to go on a walking pilgrimage.
I guess "ideal vacation" isn't supposed to be constrained by money.
57.2: Thanks to Obamacare, they can't afford their giant ranch houses and exotic animals otherwise.
Walking the Camino de Santiago would be cheap as chips apart from the air fare.
I've wanted to recreate Spike's Hokkaido roadtrip, but it would demand a bank balance and command of Japanese I am unlikely ever to possess.
I dream that we'll get a giant house somewhere scenic, that we'll rotate who makes dinner, that the children will run in a cluster and that somewhere in there, I'll have enough free time that Anand and I can work on a crossword puzzle.
This is what we're doing for Labor Day. I just booked the giant house.
53 Minivet did you live in Japan before?
Also I feel like you all should know what $550/night in rural Texas gets you. Our kid might be a disaster but we've still got two nickels to rub together.
Yeah, for about 11 months in college, and a few months in high school before that.
50: I wear sleeveless undershirts on most workdays, what some people call a wife-beater. Cut like tank tops, I guess, but plain white, not so baggy, and the fabric of mine have some kind of rows in the weave, if that's the way to put it, not a uniform texture like t-shirts. I associate tank tops worn on the outside by males with basketball, and teenagers ready to jump into a river or sprinkler at a moment's notice.
Also I still wear shirts with sleeves to the gym, but I'm a newfound zealot for leggings, or yoga pants, or compression pants, or whatever they're called.
In fact, I exclusively wear these Nordstrom tanktops that I get off ebay, with a t-shirt with the neck-trim and sleeve-trim un-trimmed, in hopes that I'm vaguely camouflaged as a flattie. This summer I've been skipping prosthetics nearly every day, but I still wear them to work.
If your students are staring at your chest the whole class, maybe spending more time writing on the blackboard would help?
67: I think of it as a different kind of garment when it's intended to be worn as an undershirt as opposed to the only (or top) layer. Undershirts are lighter material, besides usually being white.
One way to tell the difference is by yelling "Stella!" while wearing it. If you're mysteriously sexually compelling, it's an undershirt.
Mostly, it's exhausting to always have to be an A+ parent, and it'd be nice to get him to a place where we can sometimes be B+ parents.
This used to be my dream vacation (like I suspect most parents). Typically involved grandparents and cousins around to occupy the kids.
I would like a sabbatical. Maybe take off 3 months. I could still answer some occasional calls. I guess I prob need a few minions.
Man, I don't even work that hard, and that sounds wonderful. Three months or so of just sleeping in and not coping with anything?
I would like a sabbatical. Maybe take off 3 months.
That is what I need. When I went to NYC last September it was nice, and mostly relaxing while I was there, but I was exhausted when I got back and not excited about returning to the backlog of work.
73:
I couldn't sleep in. That stresses me out. Three months to travel. Write some things. Visit friends. Work out every day.
"I will take some time and write some things" never works for me. I only write when everything else I have to do is shittier.
Maybe I should start a divorce lawyer chat line for young lawyers. Kind of like a sex line. (Do they still have those?)
You pay to talk with me for 15 mins. I have no legal liability.
"I will take some time and write some things" never works for me. I only write when everything else I have to do is shittier.
I only wrote that bc I have something shittier to do right now.
Working out and napping for an extended period of time also sounds great. Whenever I start working out more, I just want to sleep constantly, including when I should be working. With no responsibilities, I could exercise a few hours a day, eat for another few, and then sleep the other eighteen. I'd be in terrific shape, incredibly well rested, and not worried about the news at all.
Wait, are everyone's dream vacations constrained by the OP problem of not wanting to fantasize about implausible things? Not a single ekranoplan? At least give yourselves unlimited funds and unlimited travel partners.
I would definitely hit up the snowy Himalayas under the ocean that I dreamed about that one time, but I don't think you can climb those things without supplemental oxygen, so I would need to make careful plans. I would also visit the part of Tasmania where there are still thylacines but they're super tame and wag their tails and also purr, and when they're puppies they like to lie in people's laps and they especially like to hear stories and songs. I am so fucking stressed by my job, ordinary vacations are not going to do it this time.
I think there are a fair number of male tank-top (or t-shirt with the arms cut off with a significant underarm hole) wearers, perhaps evenly distributed with those wear technical/form fitting garments and tshirt wearers like me. But it's a muscle-head gym with a lot of guys whose torso looks fat but could lift three of (not small) me, which may throw off couture considerations. Women tend to wear tanks over sports bras, usually over yoga pants/legging, except for the perhaps 10% who aren't gender conforming (butch presumably-but-I-didn't-ask lesbians). They're usually in sweats and a t-shirt.
Wait, are everyone's dream vacations constrained by the OP problem of not wanting to fantasize about implausible things? Not a single ekranoplan? At least give yourselves unlimited funds and unlimited travel partners.
Even if you give yourself leeway to fantasize about implausible things, the fantasy can be fonder by being more plausible.
If we're at that level of fantasy, I want nictitating membranes for swimming.
We're talking the world of the forms here, so all the news would be good. Printed in financially-sound newspapers deposited gently on your doorstep by your pony.
The perils of fantasies that spin themselves out too quickly.
52: How far along are you? I've reached the point where I've failed repeatedly on OHP (but haven't had to decomp), and BBR is getting close. Squat, bench, and DL are all still humming along nicely. Hoping to hit 1.5X BW on squat before things slow down, but it'll be close if past experience holds true. Then a switch to Madcow and a slower grind for improvement, but more light/rest days!
They're doing the thing where they delay your flight in increments, so that you never trust anything. I'm going to be at this airport forever.
81: Well, in that case, I'd like to visit Bukhara and Isfahan, and also some of the mountains and have it all be easy to do, with no difficult travel.
52/86: What program are you guys doing?
55 is basically me.
When we had no kids, my wife and I used to do that often. It can be super-cheap.
However, if I really had my secret wish, I'd just be alone for a few days. No spouse, no child. Plenty of time to read books and play guitar, go walking. I get so little time that even a couple of hours of that feels like an insane luxury.*
* I don't think I've had more than a couple of hours on my own, without working or doing childcare, in 4 years.
Speaking of delaying flights I was supposed to go back to, um, Arrakis tonight but I'm still running close to a 102 fever, sweating bucketloads, and the rash is far worse and is right where my belt/elastic band is, oh, also nausea. So no way can I get on 13 hour flight. It cost me over $800 to change it to Monday night.
Oh man, that sucks.
Also you should have changed it to Tuesday and come to the next meetup.
88 Definitely would add Bukhara and Isfahan to dream destinations that I've always wanted to visit. I probably should have gone to Iran last year when I more or less had the chance.
93.2 I should have indeed. The thought crossed my mind but I'm worried taking the train out and all would be too much stress and cause a relapse.
90.1,2 It's what I've been doing and planning to do more with Chani, and it can be super cheap what with two splitting the hotel room and eating good local cuisine.
81
Wait, are everyone's dream vacations constrained by the OP problem of not wanting to fantasize about implausible things? Not a single ekranoplan? At least give yourselves unlimited funds and unlimited travel partners.
Hmmm. Might have never thought of that before, but OK. (I'm assuming unlimited travel partners also includes zero.) In that case, my dream vacation is just wandering. Is it still possible to buy airplane tickets in person or by phone? Not that it's an obstacle if I bring my laptop. I'd stay in a city until I get bored with it, then go to another city, maybe rent a car and spend some time in rural areas, abandon it on the side of the road when I decide I want to travel by plane again.
It's harder to imagine that being fun with Cassandane, it's harder to do spur-of-the-moment stuff with even one other person, but it's possible. Add Atossa and it's impossible.
But 83 makes good points. And in addition, if I imagine unlimited funds, a really nice vacation isn't the first thing I think of. That would be a bunch of house renovations. No, wait, it would be a new house. Where? I like my neighborhood, but I'm sure there's a better one out there. No, wait, I guess I should spend my money on some good cause, like purple districts. But thinking about that gets depressing. And so on.
It's more like a generous benefactor is only willing to fund your vacation. No home repairs or local food banks allowed.
85 is awesome, and I love his work in general. I have to say, there is a dividing line in the "what if I were rich?" question, at the point where I have enough money to retire now and live modestly for decades on passive income (plus buy a house large enough to sleep more than one visiting guest). I'd probably budget something for seeing lots of live music and something for travel, then give the rest away to a wide variety of people and organizations. "What if I were rich?" is a whole lot harder if it's not enough to retire on: tons of stressful tradeoffs that aren't any fun to think about. Everything is so expensive that you can keep going a long way before you get to "eh, I wouldn't buy a Rolex or a Maserati." (But something batshit like refurbishing an older Maserati? Yeah, okay, a little tempting.)
I want a non-touristy cruise through the Caribbean or the Greek Islands. That means a small boat, congenial company, no fixed schedule, and plenty of time to spend on shore without being part of a crowd of yahoos. So, that means a yacht. Doesn't have to be all that big, but should have a small resident crew and plenty of room. I don't want to have to raise and lower sails or any of that stuff.*
$10 million or so should cover the yacht, or somewhat less to charter it.
* Why does everyone who owns a boat (or a plane, for that matter), as part of the experience they are giving you, say "Would you like to drive/adjust the trim/raise the sails"? I say "Sure" because I'm a wuss, but the real answer is "I prefer not to."
Oh sorry, that was me! I opted not to post the humiliating anecdote.
Barry, sorry you're feeling so awful! And I would love to go to Iran, so much -- don't pass it up a second time!
If you change your mind, I promise we won't guess it's you.
I have two simple, easily accomplished dreams for actual holidays, easily accomplished with money (and so the freedom not to earn any for a while)
The one is the usual cabin-in-the-woods by water: just read and write and walk and fish. NO INTERNET. A town nearby but not too near. People to talk to, preferably in a language not English but not impossible either. Just let it soak in for six weeks.
The second, needs more money: a rented house / flat in a really good skiing resort but not one infested with arseholes (if you're listening, God, I would settle for Cortina) for four weeks or even six: enough time to get really grooved in, fit, and exhausted.
Those are the holidays for maximum destress. For stimulation and refreshment - HK, maybe, with side trips: the grand tour of Japan, guided by Ume; six weeks across the USA maybe. Bay area to NYC via MT but I've hardly ever found a part of the US I didn't like or at least find interesting.
Now that I have looked at Heebie's link, I'm impressed by the Way you get Every third word capitalised For free if you Stay there.
Did you click through to the cartoon in 83? This is my other favorite. Just for your airport-delay amusement, heebie, and because I'm sorry I'm too fucked up to do things like show up at a bar for drinks with you.
87: That was my Wednesday. Hope the trip goes better for you than it did for me (9 hours turned into 22, an extra flight, with the baby, etc.)
At least 'with the baby' means you can't go into labor on the flight. Unless you had your kids as fast as my parents did.
110: I did appreciate 83! And 110 is also great. And while it would have been lovely to meet you, I'm super not put-out that you elected otherwise - meet-ups are a weird energy! We're people that work well online.
If you leave out skiing, my ideal holiday would involve lots of train travel through remote areas, although smartphones have pretty much killed off what used to be the best part - that feeling of being somehow weightless because you were in transit and uncontactable. I want to go up the Darjeeling Himalayan railway, and down the Old Patagonian Express, and most of all from Moscow to Tashkent and on to Samarkand and across to Urumqui and then on to Xian and Beijing. With a kindle and an emergency supply of instant ramen, that would be a glorious journey.
114:
Are you Paul Theroux?
Seriously though, the train trip sounds awesome.
I've been wanting to go to Isfahan for twenty years. As an American though, you have to pay for a tour/minder. I was hoping that might change with relations improving, but that, with so much else, went all to hell.
After some legit touring, I'm realizing that tourism is exhausting and that I don't actually enjoy it that much. I don't mind looking at old monuments, but I hate crowds and logistical planning leaves me exhausted. Same with museums, I actually enjoy looking at what's inside, but the pressure to absorb a massive quantity of material within several hours is very tiring for me.
Right now I think an ideal vacation would be somewhere with swimming available where I was allowed to be completely lazy and there was no expectation I do anything edifying. No museums or art galleries or monuments. Conversely, if I had a month to spend at the Louvre or some place like that, where I could spend an hour looking at a piece I liked and feel no pressure to see some vague representative sample of the art, that would be a fun vacation too.
I feel a bit like a dick because I'm spending this summer in some of the most beautiful places in Europe, but so far I've spent all my time with my mother (who every time I see her is more like my grandmother), my crazy in-laws, or some combo of both. Wandering around the crowded bits of Venice in 90 degree heat stressed out by how my completely undemonstrative mother is getting along with my crazy Italian MIL is pretty much the opposite of a good time, even though I feel horrible for not appreciating that I regularly get to spend time in Venice. I also worry that my general anxiety that isn't managed well by meds is preventing me from objectively appreciating opportunities and making things stressful that in the past I would have enjoyed. As a kid I dreamed of wandering around in strange cities and getting lost, and now it just makes me tired and stressed to think about it.
55
Have you been to Prague? It hits basically all your criteria. For Asia, I love Hangzhou and Suzhou. Lots of history, very hip, great things to see and also just lovely atmospheric cities, but also *just* enough off the beaten track of mainstream western tourism to not feel overwhelming, as long as you avoid going there during Chinese holidays. Hangzhou also has a film festival, which given its art scene could be very promising.
80 sounds great too.
Also my fantasy would be able to take a rich person vacation, where you don't ever have to carry your own luggage or take public transit and you would have paid people to handle logistics. My fantasy is arriving at an airport in a strange city and having a person holding a sign with my name there to pick me up and take me to my hotel, and I don't even know the name or address of where I'm going. Then the rest of the vacation involves sleeping in beautiful accommodations and eating leisurely expensive meals where I don't even blink about ordering the second bottle of wine or dessert.
Last time I was in Paris I just did one improving-style thing a day. The rest was food, wandering, etc.
120
That sounds nice. I was just in Paris with my mother, and it was nonstop museum marathoning. We *only* spent 7 hours in the Louvre because my mother thought it was open late the night we went, so she agreed to get there a bit after opening hours. We were there from 11-6, and had she known it was going to close at 6, she would have made us show up at 9. The next day, we went to three museums, from 10 am to 8 pm. They were all worthwhile places, but it was beyond exhausting.
My aunt in Paris is an art historian, and she thinks museuming is exhausting. She refuses to go for more than an hour or two because it gets too draining. And she guides us through the paintings, pointing out gossip. It is wonderful.
The best thing I've done in the last two cities I visited is check out bikes from the bikeshare. It is awesome. Ride all over, put bike back wherever, get home on metro. The perfect compromise between walking and seeing everything.
I've been wanting to go to Isfahan for twenty years. .... I was hoping that might change with relations improving, but that, with so much else, went all to hell.
Exactly this.
There are two places I really want to go that are, really, almost the same. There's an incredibly beautiful area of China called the Nujiang Valley just along the Burmese border. Where I want to go is Kachin state on the other side of the border in Burma. It's tricky because the government won't give anyone permits because there's still a low key civil war on, but last time I checked it's easing up.
The other spot is a placed called Medog (or Motuo) County in far southern Tibet. It's climatically varied and ethnically hugely varied. It also got its first road connection to the outside world in 2013. Unfortunately, foreigners need a tour guide/minder to go to Tibet, and only then with 3 other foreigners of the same nationality, and then you need to apply for extra special permission to go to Mêdog County because it's by India, which is then not given.
Both of these places are on the southern, rain-facing slopes of the Himalayas and a) have enough diversity of altitude and b) are remote enough from civilization to harbor enormous biodiversity. Kachin state (and the Nujiang Valley) has relict populations of many species that were exterminated elsewhere due to (previous) climate change. Mêdog almost certainly does as well, but it hasn't been surveyed in any kind of systematic way.
I've worked out *my* ideal holiday - I'm doing it again this year. Intensive week; six hours in the studio a day, flog yourself senseless. Last year the crash didn't hit until the Monday afterwards at work. The Place is organising three this year, the one I'm doing is led by folk from the Akram Khan company.
This doesn't speak to everyone else around me, to say the least ("oh, you want to spend summer without me, surrounded by other women?") so I'm using the rest of my leave days otherwise.
124 is pretty cool, though.
A couple of years ago we took a holiday in London even though we live there. It was fantastic - you get to do a lot of Big Culture all at once, to hunt up odd things you wouldn't usually make the effort for, and we caught George Clinton at the Forum in Kentish Town.
118 It's been on the list and now moved way up.
Having just gotten back from LA, I can confirm that getting great food recommendations for food and then people to drive you to it is a pretty fantastic way to travel. Having an ankle that's not really up for even a short museum trip is limiting but not too much when much of what we do is ride in cars.
Hangzhou itself is kind of, I don't know, new money? I love the little tea villages around it though.
Oh, so you mean Hangzhou is like the Portland of China these days?
(sorry Buttercup, I have no heart anymore)
Most variants of my ideal vacation involve a certain balance of natural scenery that doesn't require great effort to get to, or through (walks not hikes is what I'm saying), catching up on reading, good food that I don't have to get dressed up for, and drunkenness. Lucky me, the UK makes this pretty easy.
Subvariations where I had a boyfriend would replace the reading with, uh, you know; and where I was in a city, a less lazy attitude toward taking in culture. One type of vacation that I've done with family but would like to try with friends is the shared house, playing cards and drinking, etc. This is the one instance in which I could imagine being up for a beach vacation.
I can definitely imagine more ambitious traveling I'd like to do, but to me that's not quite the same as vacation. Vacation, for me, involves as little planning as possible. Just enough to get me there and have a place to stay.
Oh man. I wish I hadn't started thinking about this. I could kill for a vacation.
Now that I'm totally caught in vacation fantasy, I want to endorse 114 without the geographic particulars, and 117.1-2 without the swimming.
Japan is a destination where my usual vacation rules would have to be put aside; more effort and cultural intake both required and desired. I could almost get behind an onsen vacation if the boiling-and-pickling cycle weren't so intense, and if I could relax more with the being-naked-with-people-who-distrust-foreigners part.
I feel like this kind of conversation would benefit from drawing a distinction between vacation and elective absence from work. One can take time off work for a variety of reasons besides vacation (bereavement, ma/paternity leave) and I think doing stuff you want to do that takes more than a weekend is a different category than (or a super-category to) taking vacation to recharge and avoid burnout.
Oh god. i'm going to sleep tonight dreaming of vacation.
26 is talking about Manhattan isn't it.
Y'all want to go to Greece! Sea and scenery, great food, culture or hiking if you want it but you can also just stroll from pension to beach to taverna to kapheneio and back again and call it a day. Swimming is great: 'organized' beaches come with umbrellas, sunbeds, and bar (and seem nasty and cruise-ship like on a huge scale, but in a little village with locals and their dogs can be pretty fun); 'unorganized' ones come with nothing, and there's more full-on wilderness (and living things in the sea) than I expected. Also Greece needs your money.
Tap tap ... is this thread still on?
I have enjoyed a lot of our vacations, which usually involve several people (immediate and/or extended family) renting a house/cabin in some area with lots to do, can be urban (walking, museums, walking, parks, walking, food) or rural (hiking, food). But my dream vacation is so utterly different I'm actually kind of nervous that I would enjoy it less than I think I would. On the other hand, what's not to like about imagining a cruise through the Aegean on a sailboat just big enough for me and a few favorite people, on the water by day and mooring by night? Swimming and really fresh food and enough contact with dry land that we don't forget how to walk... Basically the budget version of what DaveLMA said because I think a big boat would invoke Imposter Syndrome. That's if I'm imagining a dream vacation with other people. If it's just me, then some sort of pilgrimage - the Camino is on my bucket list.
I really would like to visit Greece, though Croatia is at the very top of my list.
I took a cruise ten years ago, and one of the excursions was to Xel-Ha--maybe one of my favorite places I've been.
Basically, I want a warm ocean or lagoon, easily accessed amenities, and no alligators, poisonous snakes, or scary sharks.
We've moved into our summer place (currently our only place) and its pretty vacationish here. Great swimming, generally, except for some reason the high yesterday was 62 degrees.
It was drizzling a bit this evening, and tons of people had on jackets and boots here. By no means everyone, but if I'd just seen the subway scene and had to guess the temperature, I would have said in the 60s. This surprised me.
It was over 100 here today. I knocked off early, and we went up to the ski hill to ride bikes down. Easily 20 degrees cooler at the top, and we stopped in a couple of huckleberry patches that were exactly perfect.. Yesterday is was hot too, and we were on the river from 6 to 8. I'm manning the beer tent for a shift an my art center's annual block party tomorrow, and maybe go for a dip after. The wife is threatening to go to the Kootenai powwow up on the lake.
Admit it, you made up that last sentence to gull foreigners.
Anyone planning a Japanese vacation, be aware that tourism has really taken off in the last few years, so the most popular destinations are much more crowded (and hotels more expensive) than they used to be. I'd advise not spending more than a day or two in Kyoto - it was already a tourist trap but now it's the equivalent of Venice. Instead, go down to Kyushu and spend a few days around Nagasaki, Aso, and the onsens at Beppu, or up to Tohoku, which is cooler and quieter and could really use the money to help with post-tsunami reconstruction.
All the people in this thread who are advocating the chill, eat, walk a bit vision should get together and invest here.
I found this educational about UK politics, a bit dry though: https://newleftreview.org/II/105/tom-hazeldine-revolt-of-the-rustbelt
My passport application is now find it's way to Rex Tillerson. I really wish I'd have remembered to get it renewed back when Clinton or Kerry would have signed it.
You're aware that no-one works at State anymore, right?
Some asshole in a Boston Whaler is in my lake cruising in tight circles around a family of geese. I hope he gets pecked in the head.
I thought the whalers came from Nantucket.
They haven't been the same since Bob Marley passed away.
He had to pass away, so he could haunt Scrooge.
A vacation thread! Thought I'd pass along that my lake house in NH is now for sale - anyone interested, email me privately for the info.
OT: I know you're supposed to root against the heartless internal affairs investigator looking into the detectives, but honestly, not letting DCI Tom Mathias investigate murders seems like a really good idea for all involved, including Mathias.
He's much better than his staff at staring moodily into the middle distance, but his assistant seems just as capable of the rest of the process.
Thought I'd pass along that my lake house in NH is now for sale
Your lake house wouldn't happen to be made of cob, would it? You could totally sell Moby on it.
NH is too far.
More importantly, what's the point of rising to DCI if, when you encounter what looks like a shrouded body surrounded by car air fresheners and bug netting in an abandoned house you entered at night, you don't call up and say, "Get a constable out here to pull back this sheet."
Sadly, no. But it is full of hardwood floors and walls and stuff like that! Damn, but that market is a picky one, I will say.
Facing an imminent long-term stay-vacation with potential ofor lots of embedded vacation vacations we find ourselves dangerously disorganized and lacking the will and purpose to decide on a course and settle on it. We want mountains/streams/hills/lakes/oceans/forests/plains; to stay at one place and really learn it in all seasons, to rotate between several, to go everywhere, very rural and very urban. We contain multitudes.
When I do plan vacations I am always overly ambitious on the number of places to see in the time given. So the time aspect should be better. Hopefully living it for a bit will bring the appropriate priorities into focus.
Sitting on my ass in my suburban house and playing computer games and fuming about politics is a possibility as well.
I think DI Rhys would stand a better chance at promotion if she didn't wear a coat that looks like Kenny on South Park, but it's probably just sexism holding her back.
"This looks like a shallow grave, many years old. I'll call somebody to come dig it up once the run rises."
That's the kind of thing that makes sense.
Someone here just bought the four-bedroom-place-not-directly-on-the-lake-that-I-don't-understand-why-anyone-would-buy, and if it went for anything near asking price they seem to have paid a lot for it. The place had been empty for 20 years, then refurbished a bit. So, maybe the market isn't so picky after all.
Hrmph. ... I'm just impatient. Why haven't any of the 5 people who have so far had a "showing" uttered a peep in follow-up?? Is there something wrong with the place? (Actually, there is, which is stuff that is being attended to this weekend - a bunch of stuff in the basement.)
Question: is it common for people who have a showing to want later, after issues are addressed, to want a second showing? Is that it? Are they waiting to see it a second time?
You could link to pictures or whatever the realtor has online here? Maybe a lurker wants to buy it?
I'd rather not do so publicly: it would be easy to determine my identity. As I said before, anyone curious, email me privately at the linked address.
Watching along with Moby would be wonderful. What are your thoughts on the senior living center right on the water, for instance?
Actually, good friends of ours are trying to get us to consider going in together on a place on a small lake near Augusta ME. Intriguing but far from Pittsburgh. (Although they live in Boulder...used to live in NH and have various other friends who either live permanently or seasonally in thatpart of Maine.)
165: I wished my mom's was able to have a view like that. She's well cared for, but really has no view and clearly spends much of her time looking out the window.
167: I've been sold on the beauty of Wales my whole life, but watching sure didn't hurt on that front.
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Extremely sad. I had privately been hoping my math-loving kid might meet her someday.
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My ideal vacation is by the Atlantic ocean, in either New England or Atlantic Canada. It's not just the ocean that I love; it's a certain kind of "salty sea captain" feel that you get in Maine, MA, New Brunswick, P.E.I. (though not 'down the shore,' not by the New Jersey shore, really). I like salt water spray in the air, and sunny days tempered by cold nights, I guess.
169: So sad! I abide by local standards but had sure hoped she'd meet me someday, iykwim.
Yeah, I also feel super saddened and awful over her death.
My parents just sold a place I loved a lot, on a lake a long way from anywhere in British Columbia. But it was the right thing to do, with them aging and none of us in a position to keep it up. I wouldn't mind being in San Sebastian right now, but sitting on my own lanai looking down the valley at the ocean with the trades picking up enough to maybe cool things off tonight and the thought of a third G&T starting to seem sensible...it's not so bad.
Question: is it common for people who have a showing to want later, after issues are addressed, to want a second showing?
Yes, indeed even before issues are addressed IME. On the other hand it can be a sign that these are going to be difficult people to deal with- picky, unimaginitive, etc.
Have gone on my ideal vacations (more or less) a few times. Backpacking for a week or so at a time in the Wind River Range in Wyoming, and backpacking in Iceland (only when weather is good). These were the best places I've been backpacking, but I have others on my list that would probably be comparable, like Patagonia or New Zealand.
174: Thanks, chris! I'm a first-time home seller, so am rather feeling my way through this. If I may, an additional question: how soon do I need to procure a real estate attorney in all this? (We had an attorney in NH when we closed my mother's estate after her death, but in all honesty, I'd rather not deal with them again.)
I'm aware that I need an attorney for the closing ... but at this point I have no idea whether there will even be a closing, no certainty on whether a sale will actually occur. It therefore seems premature to establish a relationship with someone, given that I'd have to say, well, I don't know if I'll even need you.
But do I, in fact, need an attorney to do some thing(s) prior to an offer actually being received? If so, what things? I hope I'm being clear; and sorry for being so dense, but all research I've done on the matter simply says "You will need an attorney." Yah, I know that. When?
I think those questions vary by state. Not that I have ever sold a house.
Okay. Thanks -- clearly I'm going to have to get more information from my real estate agent (who just keeps saying, "You need an attorney").
I've bought and sold without an attorney, and not acting as one either. I realize that this varies by state. I'd wait until you have an offer you think you want to accept.
Whose house should I burn down on account of the ridiculously slow windows 10 updates? This better be good.
Hi, Charley. In this case an attorney would absolutely be needed, not least because there are a number of things about the property that would currently be disallowed, but which are grandfathered in as far as I know (it's on a lake, so septic, length of dock, stuff like that, are highly regulated). I *think* an attorney is needed to search/research our claims that those things are grandfathered? But I keep thinking that's the sort of thing the real estate agent would/should do.
What is "grandfathered", anyway? Does that just mean that if it's there now, it's kosher for the new owner? Can the new owner (if there is one) discover that it was never kosher to begin with?
Thanks for clarifying my thinking. I need clearer answers on this from the real estate agent.
Are you making promises of regulatory compliance? That sounds like a bad idea. Places where I've lived, you disclose everything (like the existence of septic installed before 1945 or whatever) and let them sort it out. If you're not getting offers and it really is because people are afraid of noncompliance then maybe some research is in order. I'm surprised that an experienced realtor wouldn't already have a pretty good handle on this stuff.
182: I'll look into it.
Hm. We (I should say the real estate agent) completed a Property Disclosure form, with my and my brother's signatures, and on close inspection, I see now that there are a number of statements not fully filled in.
Section 9, subsection q: "Are you [the seller] aware of any modifications or repairs made without the necessary permits" Answer: "no."
Several other things on the form as well. Okay, I need to have some further conversations with the real estate agent.
you disclose everything (like the existence of septic installed before 1945 or whatever) and let them sort it out
By "them" you mean the buyers, I take it. So they're taking it as is, and it's on them to 'sort it out'?
That's right. If there's some law against conveying a property with a 1945 septic, it won't help you, but where I've lived the risks are undisclosed defects, not those disclosed.
'We'd like to run an update that'll make your computer unusable for a couple of hours. You can check the box to schedule it for later, but we only will do it during the day. How about now?' would at least have been honest.
184: Yep. Got it. Thanks again for clarifying my thinking.
On the Windows 10 update, yeah, my computer was down for the count for much of the day. Find something else to do!
Whose house should I burn down on account of the ridiculously slow windows 10 updates?
parsimon's. It would simplify her real estate issues, for sure. Plus, it's probably insured.
What is "grandfathered", anyway? Does that just mean that if it's there now, it's kosher for the new owner?
I think it means pretty much everything done to the land prior to the NH Shoreland Water Quality Protection Act of 1994. Except docks, which I believe are covered by the Wetlands Act. There may also be additional town ordinances that apply.
If something was done since then that is in violation of those acts, its probably not grandfathered.
In Mississippi, it means your dock can vote.
There are supposed to be aurora borealis tonight but I just went outside and didn't see shit.
192: I've been seeing headlines to that effect, but the forecast doesn't seem to show them being visible that far south. (They won't be visible here in any case because it doesn't get dark enough this time of year.)
I saw them once, in Nebraska. The 80s were a different time.
Earlier today, I saw a forecast that we might see it.
Really, the system for telling people they can see the aurora is quite weak.
Yeah. They should use sirens and shit. Really get the word out.
What does that map over on the right mean, in the site linked in 193, under 'short term forecast'?
197 An app on my phone would be fine. Is this really beyond the capability of humankind?
https://twitter.com/NWSMissoula/status/886607524488761346
These people are supposed to know stuff. Do they?
198: It's the immediate forecast for less than an hour out, versus the main one which is for the night as a whole. I think. It's confusing and not well explained.
There's no way anyone is seeing the aurora within the hour in Whitehorse or Dawson City. The sun won't even be down.
They won't see it, just like we won't here. But it'll probably be there.
This is cool: https://twitter.com/NWSMissoula/status/886792794693668864
197 An app on my phone would be fine. Is this really beyond the capability of humankind?
I could build that app for you. Alls I need is $1 million in venture capital funding.
Y'all realize, that within the average lifespan, that there is a 20% chance a person will live through a geomagnetic storm strong enough to cripple international telecommunications capabilities for on the order of 24 months?
The last time something that strong happened was the Carrington Event in 1859. If it were to happen today, major sections of electronic infrastructure - cell towers, satellites, data centers - would be fried.
We drove north a bit to get a better exposure. Looks like a bust so far.
Should probably have driven up to Banff.
Faint streaks. Real or an illusion? We'll see what the long exposures look like. Heard a bunch of coyotes and saw some shooting stars, so not a loss.
207.Compensations for being old #372
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NNM to George Romero
Insert zombie joke here.
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OT: Has anybody noticed their spam is getting stupider? Like Nigerians read the news about Trump and decided that the way to get money from Americans isn't all sort of cloak and dagger stuff about a needing a partner to get money out of a foreign bank, but just "I'm donation 1.5 million pounds to you. Contact me at ...."
212: He got his start working for Mr. Rogers.
Sometimes, I remember that Mr. Rogers' church is right across the street from my usual bar, which means I basically live in Mr. Rogers' Neighborhood. Then I feel bad when I think about how often I flip-off people in traffic.
213: It's deliberate. They don't want to waste time on people capable of seeing through obvious scams. Weed out everybody but the suckers early and you can devote time to reeling in the big fish.
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NMM to Martin Landau.
Insert Space 1999 joke here.
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And Romero on the same day. What a kicker.
217: But he could not have won without having been preceded by a whole series of Republicans working to lower standards of decency, common sense, and factual knowledge. I imagine they must be really pissed to see all their hard work snatched by somebody who didn't even meet their own lowered standards.
218 Apparently Romero worked on North by Northwest as a gofer, it was Landau's second film.
I think the unusually portentous horror of the coffee served on set really affected what you see on the screen.
Is there a polite way to ask for a meeting to be recessed so I can catch a Magikarp?
The picture posted at the other place turned out ok.
It's going to go away and my colleague won't stop with the questions.
Why not stop thinking when I've already decided what I'm going to do?
Is it just me or does anybody else thing it is not a coincidence that they waited until it was the 13th doctor before casting a woman as Doctor Who?
228: The well known "glass TARDIS" phenomenon.
My only thought about the news was that it happened after the Master became Missy. That was reasonably popular (so I assume, I haven't followed much chatter about it, but I liked the episodes she was in well enough), so there's a slight chance that this won't cause a shitstorm of neckbeard rage.
I also haven't seen the current season. It's on my to-do list.
I've never seen any of the seasons.
The mail online helpfully published a picture showing just how much nuder she is than anyone on this train
I've never watched the show, but I think the scarf is distinctive enough by itself.
If you've ever wondered if going to the airport, checking in for your flight, turning the other way at the gate, passing back through the border, and going home would feel vaguely as if you'd been on holiday:
1) yes.
2) it sucks.
Thanks, Canadian Boeing 767s!
They're too polite to say so, but they really want you to fly in a Bombardier.
They make the CRJs, which I happen to fly on very often. Probably it's the type of plane I've taken the most flights on.
Snow Machine Airline.
Will this be on Aviation Herald?
Apparently, the Minneapolis police have responded to accusations of racism by shooting more unarmed white people. I was going to mention it earlier, but I was figuring some kind of additional news would come out. Apparently not.
Also, R. Kelly is in the news again. I assume that means a Trump pee-tape will be released soon. Sympathetic magic.
All of Pennsylvania, and all of Nebraska, are covered on tonight's aurora forecast. http://www.gi.alaska.edu/AuroraForecast/NorthAmerica/20170717
They make the CRJs, which I happen to fly on very often. Probably it's the type of plane I've taken the most flights on.
Condolences. Only once on on the small ones and that was enough. I was the smallest guy in my row and I'm not very small. Was a tight squeeze for the flight attendant to get through the aisle.
