Recently I saw someone with what I can only assume were DIY truck nuts: a heavy chain on the trail hitch in a loop, with two very large hex nuts hanging off of it, one drooping slightly lower than the other.
Instead of a tampon string, you could just stick a pad (with wings!) to the bottom of the hitch.
I saw a pair for the first time in years on Friday! The truck also had a Fraternal Order of Police plate.
I forgot about these.
But now that I've been reminded, everything seems so much clearer: truck nutz are why we have, and deserve, Trump. The karmic thread is like, so obvious now.
1 is vastly better as a solution to the problem of "how do I suggest my truck has testicles?" Lumps of steel and heavy chain > polystyrene, surely.