Re: One Nightmare, No Charge

1

She looks like she's done that before.


Posted by: Moby Hick | Link to this comment | 09- 5-17 6:58 AM
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2

What the fuck are you people talking about?


Posted by: Mossy Character | Link to this comment | 09- 5-17 6:59 AM
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3

There's a video. Maybe there are geographic barriers to your viewing of it?


Posted by: Moby Hick | Link to this comment | 09- 5-17 7:02 AM
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4

Embedded video. Don't block me, bro.

She looks like she's done that before.

Exactly. So, is it staged? She does have the look of an old-timey circus performer, doesn't she? But then the reactions sound spontaneous. Again, WTF?


Posted by: ogged | Link to this comment | 09- 5-17 7:03 AM
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5

Too much time on Tindr?


Posted by: Moby Hick | Link to this comment | 09- 5-17 7:06 AM
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6

Yikes.


Posted by: heebie-geebie | Link to this comment | 09- 5-17 7:12 AM
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7

Totally staged. You can see the shadow of a guy with a fishing line.


Posted by: Mossy Character | Link to this comment | 09- 5-17 7:15 AM
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8

Maybe he was fishing and happened to catch a rubber snake?


Posted by: Moby Hick | Link to this comment | 09- 5-17 7:16 AM
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9

The language is Afrikaans. He's saying "Watch out for the snake." It's clearly a guy with a penchant for dumb jokes. Note total absence of fear from anyone, total lack of movement from the snake after she grabs it.


Posted by: Mossy Character | Link to this comment | 09- 5-17 7:17 AM
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10

Phew.


Posted by: heebie-geebie | Link to this comment | 09- 5-17 7:26 AM
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11

Damn, Mossy. SOLVED. Thanks.


Posted by: ogged | Link to this comment | 09- 5-17 7:27 AM
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12

Is that like a common thing in South African YouTube?


Posted by: Moby Hick | Link to this comment | 09- 5-17 7:28 AM
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13

I bet 11 is 100% sincere. I don't watch youtube anywhere, but there are certainly stupid assholes everywhere.


Posted by: Mossy Character | Link to this comment | 09- 5-17 7:29 AM
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14

I mean, jeez, snakes don't even move like that. And is there any snake in the world that charges at all?


Posted by: Mossy Character | Link to this comment | 09- 5-17 7:31 AM
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15

Hoop snakes roll right at people, I heard.


Posted by: Moby Hick | Link to this comment | 09- 5-17 7:31 AM
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16

And is there any snake in the world that charges at all?

Most of them rely on advertising revenue.


Posted by: ajay | Link to this comment | 09- 5-17 7:35 AM
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17

Also, it speaks to the state of the leftynet that it took me until this very minute to realize the OP title isn't about outrage over the dumbass joker not being charged with mental assault or something.


Posted by: Mossy Character | Link to this comment | 09- 5-17 7:35 AM
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18

There's a big debate over whether water moccasins charge! Lots of anecdotal stories, with other people saying that it only appears the moccasins are charging because they are so single-minded about heading to their destination that they don't change course if someone's boat is in the way.


Posted by: heebie-geebie | Link to this comment | 09- 5-17 7:39 AM
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19

Swamp rabbits charge.


Posted by: Moby Hick | Link to this comment | 09- 5-17 7:40 AM
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20

16 is pretty good.


Posted by: Mossy Character | Link to this comment | 09- 5-17 7:41 AM
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21

Those poor dogs. A rubber snake is right there and they can't chase it.


Posted by: Todd | Link to this comment | 09- 5-17 7:41 AM
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22

Venomous snakes generally try to avoid confrontations with people, but if they are cornered (even inadvertently) taipan, green and black mambas, cobras and others will be extremely aggressive, including moving towards whoever has cornered them very rapidly and attacking.


Posted by: ajay | Link to this comment | 09- 5-17 7:43 AM
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23

So basically snakes charge because they have to, but really they want to be free.


Posted by: ajay | Link to this comment | 09- 5-17 7:45 AM
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24

Have any of you seen the Planet Earth II segment with the snakes that hunt/give chase in a pack? There is nothing I won't believe about snakes.


Posted by: ogged | Link to this comment | 09- 5-17 7:51 AM
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25

Link. You'll never sleep again.


Posted by: ogged | Link to this comment | 09- 5-17 7:53 AM
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26

What if snakes tried to tell you it was about heritage, not hate?


Posted by: Moby Hick | Link to this comment | 09- 5-17 8:01 AM
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27

25 is amazing.


Posted by: ajay | Link to this comment | 09- 5-17 8:03 AM
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28

25 is amazing. Note the sinuous, coiling mode of movement completely unlike that in the OP video.


Posted by: Mossy Character | Link to this comment | 09- 5-17 8:06 AM
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29

Also, I'm never going to the Galapagos. Fuck that noise.


Posted by: Mossy Character | Link to this comment | 09- 5-17 8:07 AM
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30

25: He made it!!!


Posted by: heebie-geebie | Link to this comment | 09- 5-17 8:13 AM
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31

People only go there if they are sexually aroused by beaks.


Posted by: Moby Hick | Link to this comment | 09- 5-17 8:14 AM
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32

But how did the Beaglers know about the beaks before they went?


Posted by: Mossy Character | Link to this comment | 09- 5-17 8:15 AM
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33

Perverted whalers.


Posted by: Moby Hick | Link to this comment | 09- 5-17 8:21 AM
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34

All whalers are perverted. Melville has a whole chapter about bathing in sperm.


Posted by: Mossy Character | Link to this comment | 09- 5-17 8:23 AM
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35

Just like a Dutchman.


Posted by: Moby Hick | Link to this comment | 09- 5-17 8:27 AM
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36

Racist.


Posted by: Mossy Character | Link to this comment | 09- 5-17 8:31 AM
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37

Also, Heebie is a sexist for just assuming the iguana was male. Shame on all of you.


Posted by: Mossy Character | Link to this comment | 09- 5-17 8:31 AM
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38

9 to 36.


Posted by: Moby Hick | Link to this comment | 09- 5-17 8:43 AM
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39

Anyway, no more Dream Act.


Posted by: Moby Hick | Link to this comment | 09- 5-17 8:54 AM
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40

Do I have to assume that isn't a wet dream joke?


Posted by: Mossy Character | Link to this comment | 09- 5-17 8:57 AM
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41

Yes.


Posted by: Moby Hick | Link to this comment | 09- 5-17 8:58 AM
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42

Even pee jokes aren't the same anymore.


Posted by: Mossy Character | Link to this comment | 09- 5-17 8:59 AM
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43

For fuck's sake, does Ohio give a gun and a badge to any shithead who asks for one? Why the fuck shouldn't he be fired?


Posted by: Moby Hick | Link to this comment | 09- 5-17 9:15 AM
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44

On topic because unexpected attack.


Posted by: Moby Hick | Link to this comment | 09- 5-17 9:17 AM
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45

I could use a good snake, I just rolled back the chair in my office and stepped on a dead mouse that had crawled under there to die.


Posted by: SP | Link to this comment | 09- 5-17 9:20 AM
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46

Maybe this makes me a bitter, unforgiving person, but if someone shot me with a gun through their own carelessness and incompetence, I would want them to be fired, even if I knew them and liked them.


Posted by: ajay | Link to this comment | 09- 5-17 9:21 AM
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47

45: You don't know that. He may have crawled under there for a rest and died without expecting it.


Posted by: Moby Hick | Link to this comment | 09- 5-17 9:22 AM
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48

46: Yes. In fact, even if I knew him and liked him and he shot somebody who wasn't me, I'd still want him fired. Who wants to live in a town where the police shoot at shadows and don't get fired?


Posted by: Moby Hick | Link to this comment | 09- 5-17 9:24 AM
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49

Firing him is literally less than the bare minimum that should be done.


Posted by: Moby Hick | Link to this comment | 09- 5-17 9:25 AM
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50

I think he must feel pressure to act like a model shooting victim because if white people complain about getting shoot by police with no justification at all, it means that black people might have a point.


Posted by: Moby Hick | Link to this comment | 09- 5-17 9:36 AM
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51

And if black people have a point, the terrorists have won.


Posted by: Moby Hick | Link to this comment | 09- 5-17 9:36 AM
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52

I spent a few hours in an amazing grotto earlier today. I did not have sex.


Posted by: Barry Freed | Link to this comment | 09- 5-17 9:37 AM
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53

I note that the thread is converging with my lefty misinterpretation like a ravenous snake on an iguana.


Posted by: Mossy Character | Link to this comment | 09- 5-17 9:44 AM
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54

Quiet. I'm buying orange clothes in case I need to leave the city ever. Too many dumbfucks with guns.


Posted by: Moby Hick | Link to this comment | 09- 5-17 9:46 AM
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55

Just don't go to Ireland.


Posted by: Mossy Character | Link to this comment | 09- 5-17 9:50 AM
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56

Sessions doesn't even know which is his right hand.


Posted by: Moby Hick | Link to this comment | 09- 5-17 10:00 AM
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57

Back when I lived in Ohio a grad student told me about a guy who was shot in the parking lot of a local shopping mall. Upon investigation, the police found that he had been accidentally shot by a hunter in some woods over a mile away. I don't know if wearing orange would have helped him.


Posted by: AcademicLurker | Link to this comment | 09- 5-17 10:08 AM
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58

Snakes strike, don't charge, are close to the earth. Basically, good proletarians.


Posted by: fake accent | Link to this comment | 09- 5-17 10:08 AM
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59

57: Ohio has just re-legalized rifles for deer hunting, so that kind of stuff will probably be in the new again.


Posted by: Moby Hick | Link to this comment | 09- 5-17 10:20 AM
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60

In Pennsylvania, you're only allowed to possess 18 dead squirrels that you hunted. I don't know how they tell those squirrels from dead squirrels you got through other means.


Posted by: Moby Hick | Link to this comment | 09- 5-17 10:30 AM
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61

Everybody went to count their squirrels.


Posted by: Moby Hick | Link to this comment | 09- 5-17 11:32 AM
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62

Inspired by 46, I'm trying to look up the rule SMHMHB about reformulating sentences by switching the before-"but" clause with the after-"but" clause. Anyone remember that one?


Posted by: Todd | Link to this comment | 09- 5-17 11:41 AM
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63

It was attributed to Jim Henley, I'm pretty sure. Add the name to your search?


Posted by: LizardBreath | Link to this comment | 09- 5-17 12:06 PM
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64

Most of them rely on advertising revenue.

And now they're pivoting to video.


Posted by: teofilo | Link to this comment | 09- 5-17 12:35 PM
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65

As long as we're passing around faked snake videos, this one from Australia is pretty good.


Posted by: dalriata | Link to this comment | 09- 5-17 12:39 PM
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66

In the land of the Phoenicians from the balcony of my hotel and I am very fucking on some amazing Lebanese hash and I have just heard one of the greatest travel stories I've had the pleasure of hearing and in the most appropriate city and local venue for it. Sorry but I'm probably going to pass out before relaying much and I probably shouldn't say much.


Posted by: Paul Atreides | Link to this comment | 09- 5-17 12:57 PM
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67

+high.

Very


Posted by: Barry Freed | Link to this comment | 09- 5-17 12:58 PM
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68

D'oh. Some FPP please change 67


Posted by: Paul Atreides | Link to this comment | 09- 5-17 1:00 PM
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69

66-67 will be much less funny once somebody acts on 68.


Posted by: politicalfootball | Link to this comment | 09- 5-17 1:36 PM
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70

62: You are seeking Jim's Rule of Buts, which you may be familiar with because ogged was on the case.


Posted by: politicalfootball | Link to this comment | 09- 5-17 1:48 PM
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71

Change it to Stony McPotFace.


Posted by: Moby Hick | Link to this comment | 09- 5-17 2:10 PM
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72

Or Muad'bud.


Posted by: Moby Hick | Link to this comment | 09- 5-17 2:24 PM
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73

Looks like Game of Thrones reformulated Jim's rule as "everything before the word 'but' is horseshit."


Posted by: ogged | Link to this comment | 09- 5-17 3:16 PM
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74

70: Thank you.


Posted by: Todd | Link to this comment | 09- 5-17 3:40 PM
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75

Uh, 68 to 67 please.


Posted by: Paul Atreides | Link to this comment | 09- 5-17 8:06 PM
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76

Cleanup requested, aisle 67. See 68.

(Maybe someone administrative will see this in the morning.)


Posted by: fake accent | Link to this comment | 09- 6-17 12:09 AM
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77

I hate and fear snakes from the very depths of the very bottom of my soul.

Gruesome Death Showdown: I would rather be mauled to death by a grizzly than fatally poisoned by a snake bite. Those beady little eyes, and the forked tongue...the stuff of nightmares!


Posted by: Just Plain Jane | Link to this comment | 09- 6-17 7:56 PM
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78

The bar is full of graduate students because fall. This is on topic so far as my nightmares.


Posted by: Moby Hick | Link to this comment | 09- 6-17 8:01 PM
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79

Graduate school, not graduate students. Mostly.


Posted by: Moby Hick | Link to this comment | 09- 6-17 8:08 PM
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80

Snakes are creepier than graduate students, Moby.


Posted by: Just Plain Jane | Link to this comment | 09- 6-17 11:00 PM
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81

Ask the grad students if they'd like to come back with you to see your snake and you will become creepiest of them all.


Posted by: fake accent | Link to this comment | 09- 6-17 11:24 PM
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82

Ask the grad students if they'd like to come back with you to see your etchings of snake and you will become creepiest of them all.


Posted by: Barry Freed | Link to this comment | 09- 6-17 11:50 PM
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83

Damnit


Posted by: Barry Freed | Link to this comment | 09- 6-17 11:51 PM
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84

Ask the grad students if they'd like to come back with you to see your etchings of your snake and you will become creepiest of them all.


Posted by: Barry Freed | Link to this comment | 09- 6-17 11:52 PM
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85

Disagree. It would be even creepier to ask grad students if they'd like to come back with you to see your etchings of someone else's snake, because that would include a sort of voyeuristic element.


Posted by: ajay | Link to this comment | 09- 7-17 1:22 AM
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86

Ask the grad students if they'd like to come back with you to see your etchings of other grad students' snakes and you will become creepiest of them all.


Posted by: Mossy Character | Link to this comment | 09- 7-17 4:36 AM
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87

I want some of whatever it is that allows Barry to curse his double post before he even makes it


Posted by: NW | Link to this comment | 09- 7-17 4:50 AM
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88

It's not exactly a double post.


Posted by: Barry Freed | Link to this comment | 09- 7-17 5:03 AM
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89

Etchings of snake


Posted by: Barry Freed | Link to this comment | 09- 7-17 5:04 AM
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90

We Americans are subtle in ways your typical Brit can't comprehend.


Posted by: Moby Hick | Link to this comment | 09- 7-17 5:07 AM
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