I find the advice to have a totally regular sleep schedule kind of maddening, because I really, really don't want to get up on the weekend at the same godforsaken time I have to get up during the week. I'm not sure how much lifespan it's worth to not have to do that, but I think it's more than zero.
Ssshhh, the thread is trying to sleep!
1: Keeping a small child in the house is a great way to never sleep in on a Saturday.
I guess a dog with a small bladder is cheaper.
I wonder if you can do the equivalent of fasting interludes with this, though: instead of chronically shitty sleep, have five nights of deep, rich sleep and then two stay-up-till-3 productivity/gleeful-wakefulness binges. This might be shading into "embrace bipolar disorder!"
I am lucky in that my small child doesn't tend to wake up before 7am, and is now almost old enough to entertain himself when he gets up! It's the "wake up an hour before the kid so both parents are showered and dressed first" that's a real drag.
If you shower every day before going to work, eventually people will expect it and comment on your smell when you don't.
Just baby wipe the crucial bit, like Brad Pitt.
I get very little sleep during the work week but I sleep a lot, too much really, on the weekends. My blood pressure is excellent though so at least I won't go that way.
Wow, LB stomped this post so hard it fell right below the fold.
I probably sleep 6 or more hours on average, but my cycle is beyond fucked.
I wouldn't lose any sleep over these studies.
The article refers to "20 large-scale epidemiological studies" but doesn't cite sources. I found this systematic review which confirms there's a lot of evidence in this direction, but adjusting for covariates continues to be tricky even with large-scale studies, and interestingly, they often appear to find similar risks related to sleeping more than average - the optimal amount might be between 7-8 hours. (I have just skimmed so far.)
I thought the photo was strange enough to wonder if he has some syndrome.
Is enjoying Wes Anderson movies a bit too much a syndrome now?
15: Oh, then I might be being a jerk. I thought it was just the photo composition that was weird.
Google images makes it seem like he's pretty comfortable in front of a camera, in general.
You might still be a jerk for other reasons.
Could be just the photo angle. But my first thought was a(n also jerky) "I bet he's got something genetic going on."
Augh, I have the same bed as the sleep lab!!
Those other pictures are much better; the one in the article is pretty much the worst of them.
My first thought was that I really like his face. It's like something out of a children's book.
He also looks incredibly Australian.*
* I didn't read enough to find out if he is.
I think it's the rare combination of huge schnozz and hair swoosh that stands out. It's not just the specific photo, I see the oddness repeated on image search.
By this measure, I should have died years ago.
That's what the doctor said about my meth-cured bacon.
25: Do you get a refund if you stay awake for his entire talk?
Since we're talking about somebody being funny-looking, I have been wanting to get it off my chest that every time I see a picture of the creepy Google manifesto guy, I cannot stop staring at his nose. I've been too afraid of shallowness-shaming to bring it up with anyone IRL but hey what are pseudonyms good for if you can't let your shallow tacky self out for an airing once in a while.
So as not to be considered a topic-derailing comment, I will also mention that stuff like in the OP really does rattle me b/c I have been such a consistently shit sleeper my entire adult life that I've given up hope of any real improvement and every time one of these studies pops up I think, wow, I really am probably going to die early because of this.
I rarely get a full eight hours of sleep, but usually get more than seven and basically never less than six, so I think I'm good. Interruptions: an average of three times a week, let's say? I've actually become more of a heavy sleeper since the toddler was born. Catch as catch can.
Funny child stories: yesterday or the day before, Atossa woke up before I left (she doesn't always) and had breakfast with me. Afterwards she wanted to watch TV. I told her no. We don't want to overdo TV in general, it's not trivial to set up (the joys of using a mix of Hulu, Netflix, and apps rather than cable), and I figured that getting her ready to go (getting her dressed and her teeth brushed, mainly) would be marginally easier if Cassandane didn't have to tear her away from the TV to do it. After telling her no four or five times, I happened to phrase it something like, "No, you can't watch TV before school." She responded, "I want to watch TV all day long."
I told her, that's not how negotiation is supposed to work.
30: It's not the lack of sleep that will kill you, it's the anxiety caused by the studies. There's dozens of studies backing up this finding.
30: OMG you're not fucking kidding. When I posted about him here, I had to consciously restrain myself not to mock his looks.
31: You let her read The Art of the Deal, didn't you?
Too bad you people are so much more superficial than somebody like me.
Yeah, I have no trouble mocking his ugly ass eagle-beak looks.
Who's the actor who played Darth Emo in the last Star Wars? There's a man with a really impressively confused nose.
Well, that settles it. I'm joining the Klan. I'm not racist at all, but I want to be a wizard, and now you made me need to cover up my face.
37: That was Peter Cushing, but he was dead so it wasn't his fault.
33, 36: I knew I couldn't be alone on this. But it's not just that he's homely, it's that his nose... it's really something. It has facets. It's like it changed plans a couple of times about what kind of nose it was going to be when it was growing out of his face. More than once, when I saw a sufficiently hi-res picture of the guy online, I embiggened the picture on screen to take a good, close look. It's kind of fascinating.
32: Thanks mate, I'll be dead by the end of the week now.
And I guess I meant the next to last Star Wars -- I didn't see the last one.
I'm a little sensitive about this sort of thing, as the mother of an impressively beaky young man. But he's not Google-manifesto-dude beaky.
My high school boyfriend was beaky. I don't hate it as a thing. I think the Manifesto Beak most irritates me the way it points to his droopy, pouty, petulant pursed lips.
40.1 There may be non-Euclidean geometry involved here.
42 I think beaky girls are way cute, but this dude is something else entirely.
First I thought, was there really a Darth Emo in the last Star Wars? The Star Wars people are so bad at names. First there was the whole Princess Amygdala from planet Booboo thing, and now they're calling a character Darth Emo, jeez. Then I looked it up and saw it was a joke. A good joke! I'm going to call him that from now on!
And yeah, that guy's got a crazy nose/face too. I've stared at that one a few times too. Another thing I never admitted when I went to see that movie was that although I thought his acting was fine, I found him so weird looking that it distracted me from suspending disbelief.
Yes, the "droopy, pouty, petulant pursed lips," perfect. And I thought Google was supposed to hire smart people but he comes off as so stupid in addition to the whiny-ass MRA entitlement.
I have no idea what the guy looks like, since I exist on a realm of pure ideas. Except where Rihanna is concerned.
Whenever I hear the phrase "epidemiological study" I check to see if my wallet is still there. It is really hard to control for alternate causality, or reverse causality. Poor sleep could easily be a symptom of some illnesses, and have no causal implications whatsoever.
37: Adam Driver. He was also on Girls. There is debate over whether he constitutes joli-laid.
I can't tell if there's any hard data on whether men or women get more (and/or better) sleep, and I have no intuition one way or the other, but that would be an interesting confounding factor.
The word "sleep" starts to look bizarre really fast; I wonder how the researchers cope with it.
The contrast between these two articles is amusing, though:
http://sleepcenter.ucla.edu/sleep-and-men
http://sleepcenter.ucla.edu/sleep-and-women
"Many men have schedules that are filled with much more than just work. They go to the gym for a regular workout. They play sports or go see the local teams in action. They work on the car or on projects around the house. They are involved with a civic group, fraternal order, or local church. Single men go on dates or out on the town with friends. Married men pick up the kids from practice or help them with their homework. The list of people, places, and things that can exhaust a man's time is endless."
By contrast, women are busy menstruating, being pregnant, going through menopause, having hormones, being depressed, having emotions, and eating in the middle of the night.
Men are just too busy to menstruate or have emotions.
51.last: Also being jolie-laide at least in my case, laydeez.
(I'm actually sleeping much better these days, occasionally through the night. But that's still fairly terrible by his standards.)
It's blowing my mind. "Hey, dudes, it's hard to remember to take care of yourself when you're so busy being AWESOME!" vs. "Ladies, nature has doomed you to a state of permanent physiological failure, towards which we can only counsel tranquil resignation and self-administered diet-based punishment."
Have you even tried fixing a car or joining a fraternal order first?
You're misreading it! "Men" is "men-men and lady-men, all general people". "Women" is when lady-men have problems specific to their privates.
Huh, you think so? I take it to be in full-blown hyper-flattering outreach mode to reluctant men who won't admit they have problems, which is all men, amirite? -- whereas women are the captive audience of all medical intervention, since they suck both at being women and at being men, so you can diagnose them coming and going.
I mean, how fucking common can sleep problems be as a result of the menstrual cycle? Our doctors can get rid of that for you, if you want to be optimally healthy...
(57.2 apart from the obvious scenarios)
Yeah, the article does really keep using the word "men" over and over again in a way that seems, well, gender-specific. I'm walking my claim back.
I have slept between four and six hours a night since the mid-1980s and I don't even own a menstrual cycle.
I am one of the few men in my post-weight-management-program group meeting, frequently the only one present, and I often feel I have very little to contribute that would help them, my success notwithstanding. They're dealing with menopause, HRT, or IVF, while the main thing I have to look forward to physically is getting wrinklier and creakier and having a doctor nag me about prostate.
I am virtually an androgyne. But I sleep like shit.
61: They don't just nag. They want to poke at it with sticks.
Anyway, sometimes just crushing a beer can on your forehead is enough to inspire others around you.
You could give the beer to a man and just crush the can.
Men are well prepared for women to do strange things like not sleep or pour beer into glasses.
48: I don't know what joli-laid means but from context I'm presuming something like "the result of a gene-splicing lab accident involving Lukas Haas and Danny Trejo."
Men don't make passes at women who crush beer glasses.
The men failing to make the pass, or the men making the pass? Or the pass not being caught?
Actually, that's only true for cans. Nobody wants to deal with broken glass.
OT: Tim Murphy, incumbent Republican House member from the nearby burbs, isn't seeking reelection because he was married and had an affair. And then it came out today, the day after he voted for a bill he had sponsored which banned abortion after 20 weeks, that when she thought she was pregnant he urged her to have an abortion. She wasn't even pregnant. Probably just not sleeping well because of her divorce.
74: It actually came out yesterday, shortly before the vote on the bill.
65: Me, too. I am cut off at three drinks or else I wake up three hours after I go to bed.
I love sleep. I operate best, no joke, on nine hours a night. Thank goodness I don't have kids.
Kids operate best on at least nine hours too. It's just getting them to it that's the trick sometimes.
So... If it's a trade off between sleep and exercise, which do you choose?
74: To combine 2 threads, he's a psychologist who got a bill through tying funding for mental health services to states implementing laws making it easier to force people into treatment and take meds.
Nobody wants to deal with broken glass.
83 needs a trigger warning. I didn't even click it, I just moused over, and I'm still twitching.
Always mouse-over any link here unless I put it up.
Mine never involve dinosaurs having sex with cars.
85 Especially when apo posts it. That's a long-standing Unfogged tradition.
Oh MC, you would be so disappointed.
"For reasons completely unbeknownst to me, I have a fetish for broken glass. Or more specifically, for the act of breaking glass. To an extent I think I get off on the idea of watching something pretty and delicate get destroyed, but it goes deeper than that too. I can literally go to a thrift store, buy a set of wine glasses and smash them against a wall and then go and have an incredibly intense orgasm."
"I don't know where it came from, I don't know how to explain it, and god knows I can't imagine ever figuring out a way to realize it with a partner. I guess I'm just tired and I wanted to tell the anonymous internet void about this thing that I can't really talk about. Thanks for hearing me out."
That's a remarkably supportive and affirming thread.
Let's get the insomniacs and people in weird time zones together and run this thread past 1000. It's been years.
Is Central European Summer Time a weird enough zone?
If, hypothetically, NFLTG Paul Atreides is around:
I too worked for a despicable and immoral organization for some time.
By anonymous leaks and leads, rather than in-person write-up.
I have procrastinated for years, such that my information is probably too stale to use.
This is yet another item atop the great tottering heap of my regrets.
All that said, I'm not working there anymore, and have no intention of working in that industry.
Though of course the paths of futurity are inscrutable, even to the Kwizatz Haderach.
So don't poison the worms while you're still in the desert, is what I'm saying.
Though the Lisan-al-Ghaib may strike a blow for civilization, Paul Atreides would be but a chip swept away on the ensuing flood.
And his imaginary friends would worry about him.
Meh, not for long. We can always run off another copy. We're on, what, our fifteenth ogged-ghola already?
And he assassinates a Dave every goddamn time. We'll run out of alphabet at some point.
89: Wow is it refreshing to see someone talking about a fetish in the old-school sense where it's basically necessary for orgasmic satisfaction. I was lamenting a few days ago that no one seems to say that anymore, but clearly I was wrong.
Like many of the upper class/ He loved the sound of breaking glass. I mean loved it.
It's been great to have Apo back some in general but having this particular sort of Apo around is fantastic.
105-115 Good points, I shall heed your counsel and keep a fuck or two in reserve.
I wouldn't say my organization is despicable or immoral, though some people within it are. In fact I find it's goals are quite laudable. In part it's the betrayal of those goals that has me outraged. That and the fact that those who are despicable and immoral there have made it a hellacious place to work.
My organization was rotten to the bone. I was ashamed to stay as long as I did. I'm not saying don't burn the motherfuckers, but don't burn yourself if you don't have to.
If, coincidentally, Berry Freed were to be around, I wonder what he would think of Raging Bull?
Berry Freed is presumably the mascot for a fruity counterculture cereal.
123 It's great. De Niro's performance is exceptional.
It is great. I thought Pesci was great too. I found a lot of the dialogue inaudible (not watching under ideal conditions). I found it built effect so slowly and apparently meanderingly that it kind of crept up on me, until that last scene was just astonishing.
Berry Freed is presumably the mascot for a fruity counterculture cereal.
A Trotskyite cereal, as opposed to the socialism-in-one-breakfast approach of Commissar Crunch.
Or the reactionary Frosties, with Tony the Paper Tiger.
A woke cereal, highlighting by contrast the casual racism of Coco Pops.
"Molotov Maize Meal: Staying with you longer than expected."
Communism is soviet power plus nuggets of marshmallow.
Maoist rice crispies taste of iron.
"They're always tryin' to nationalise and redistribute me Laika Charms!"
"Peace, land, and breakfast."
"Beria's Berry Breakfasts: Crisp as the Siberian snow."
"Dzerzhinsky's Donuts: The sword and shield your morning needs!"