Bleeding to death from having his dick ripped off by a woman?
No, I'd like him to live quite a long time after his dick is ripped off.
I'm fine with almost anything that ends this soonest, but in wish fulfillment put me down for "video of him being peed on by prostitutes comes out, Southern evangelical leaders explain why that was a biblical-acceptable for form water sports, then everybody involved gets their dick ripped off by a woman."
I have to admit, those typos probably wouldn't have made me question its authenticity. I would have chalked them up to indifference to grammar and some "can haz cheeseburger?" style jokes where they're vaguely trying to sound internetty.
I just want the apprentice tapes to come out, so my African-American brother who voted for Trump will see the truth.
This certainly doesn't count as satisfying, but I've long thought that the most likely scenario for Trump's impeachment is him assaulting the wife or daughter of a republican congressional leader.
I think he'd have to assault the wife or daughter of a republican congressional leader and raise taxes on the highest income brackets.
Something that simultaneously discredits the entire Republican counterrevolutionary movement, because otherwise they just deny, memory-hole, take Gorsuch as their win, and move on. Unlikely, I know.
I honestly don't have a wish-fulfillment fantasy here. I think probably he won't serve out all four years, it just seems impossible that it's going to hold together that long. But every way it could end it seems like everything's still going to be terrible.
Everything is going to get worse before it gets better.
Here's a conditional prediction: I think if he sticks it out four years, he will declare victory and go home.
He's either going to destroy America or the Republican Party. Right now, it's looking like the latter, but I'm not even close to confident about that.
I'm not even confident he won't run and win in 2020.
18: You don't think he can destroy both? What about the earth? Haven't we learned yet not to underestimate him?
He can't destroy the earth. Just render it unfit for human habitation.
17 seems unlikely, frankly. He really, really enjoyed the campaign. Why wouldn't he want to do it again?
Yeah, I'm with 22. Isn't he already fundraising? And he holds rallies whenever he's feeling blue? That's all he wants to do, is run for 2020.
the most likely scenario for Trump's impeachment is him assaulting the wife or daughter of a republican congressional leader.
They'd regard that as an honour.
I really doubt they would consider it an honor, whether or not they'd try to keep their family member quiet. I think they dislike Trump as much as I do. They're just willing to do horrible things for power.
The one thing the last few years have really driven home to me is that lots and lots of people didn't get the usual message from Faust. And also that plenty of people watched movies in the 80s and strongly identified with comically obvious villains.
If it was a daughter, they'd probably blame her. Wife? Maybe.
26.2: YES. Biff Tannen from "Back to the Future". Col. Jessup from "A Few Good Men" (Your freedom depends on my right to beat innocent brown guys to death in Guantanamo Bay!). Gordon Gekko from "Wall Street". The Nazis from, well, everything.
He loved the campaign, hates being president. I think the rallies this year are an inadequate salve. OTOH I guess his discounting might be so hyperbolic he decides in 2020 the campaign will be so fun he forgets what the following four years would be like. Oh shit, looks like I've made my theory unfalsifiable.
OTOH I guess his discounting might be so hyperbolic he decides in 2020 the campaign will be so fun he forgets what the following four years would be like.
Yes, I'm thinking "I will not do this fun thing now because I don't want to have to do the un-fun thing that may follow it" is not something that Donald Trump has ever thought in his life.
In the realm of his self-esteem issues, Forbes has just announced their assessment of his net worth has dropped from $3.7b to $3.1b, and from 156th richest American to 248th.
The best we can hope for, I think, is more like the Alabama primary: tangible evidence that his endorsement doesn't help anyone. His success isn't about him personally, but is a symptom of a certain epidemic mental illness. The more he sees that there's never going to be widespread adulation, the better.
I fantasize about decent journalism. What if they frequently asked him followup questions, and then, when he dodges, the next one up says 'you know, I'd like to hear the answer to that last question.' And more 'that's not actually true: who told you that, and what were they basing their opinion on?'
That's hopeless. But the situation isn't broken beyond imagining. Taking the House in 18, holding Senate losses to 1 or less. (Maybe Bannon helps on the Senate side.) I don't think impeachment is ever going to be realistic, but a Democratic House can really make a difference.
I want him to hang for treason. In the realm of possibility?
However it ends, I hope he takes his family down with him.
35 Yes. And I hope we get to see him throw them to the wolves in a last ditch yet futile effort to save his own worthless hide.
Here's my unpopular opinion: It's not DJT himself.
The reality-challenged 40% of the country starts reading instead of watching news, reaching for background material to fill in unfamiliar context as needed. The light of reason chases off the worst ideas and beliefs, and this country as so many others in the world makes wise choices about the embarrassment of riches that surrounds us all, with low-carbon investments and legislation to counter Citizens United in the first months. Sane and compassionate immigration policy and police training reform appear. The Jim Crow revanchists and people even worse skulk off into their holes.
Roy Moore's election and the German vote makes me think that these are protest votes rather than votes FOR someone or something, coupled with a strong groundswell of xenophobia.
I don't know what to suggest for how to compromise with the xenophobes, but ignoring or overriding that widespread feeling doesn't seem like a good option, neither does the notion that people just need more education and a nice local pupuseria.
37: I don't think that's an unpopular opinion. Plenty of commentators hammer repeatedly that the Republicans from top to bottom were just this bad before, just in a more genteel way, they chose Trump, and they're actively enabling everything the current administration is doing.
Moore hasn't actually been elected yet.
I'll enter a low bid: Resignation or such other withdrawal from the office as results in the smallest possible number of deaths. I said something similar about the Dubster during the dark days of the mid-oughts, but $10 billion, a pardon and a villa in Switzerland would not be too high a price to pay to be rid of such a wretch.
I was just thinking about an actual pool to lift a few spirits, and looked at Ladbrokes, which allows you to bet on among other things the specific year Trump leaves office. The last option is "2025 or later" - chills.
Trump himself is ended by a lightning bolt on the golf course;
Dems make sufficient gains in the midterms to protect us from most of the crazy shit that Pence tries to do;
SCOTUS makes the right decision on political gerrymandering;
A whole bunch of old white bigots die while we're waiting out the end of the Pence administration, and;
In the meantime, the left has a constructive fight with itself in time to send some people into office at all levels riding the wave of the new Democratic president, who will collectively stop doing the same stupid shit over and over, and start offering progressive policies that actually help people so that the poor white working class will be less prone to tantrum throwing and the alt right is left to slither away in impotent humiliation.
And the lightning also gets the Newscorp headquarters.
In the meantime, the left has a constructive fight with itself....
I needed a laugh. Thanks!
the left has a constructive fight with itself
Since it is after comment 40, I am so fucking glad someone has stepped up to challenge Feinstein. I am delighted.
Trump dies of a rectal prolapse on his golden shitter.
I think Trumpist will call that "Just like Elvis".
Fuck. I just lost the long comment of wish fulfillment I owe y'all.
I wish I could see that comment. And for 45.
45, but better: Bitten by an adder while golfing, sobbing with fear and losing control of his sphincters in front of the cameras while he is carried off in a helicopter -- which is then, optionally, struck by lightning.
Melania gives a tell-all interview to Martin Bashir. ("It was like having a wardrobe fall on top of me with the key sticking out")
Melania gives a tell-all interview to Martin Bashir. ("It was like having a wardrobe fall on top of me with the key sticking out")
So great.
I think, for me personally, it would involve something that made Trump voters feel liked they were dumb-asses who fell for a con.
I'm not sure anything would cause this short of leaked audio recordings of Trump privately saying that all his voters are dumb-asses who fell for a con. And I'm not even sure that would do it.
Yeah. I guess 'wish fulfillment' for me would be Republican voters generally realizing that not only is Trump terrible, but that he's the natural endpoint of the rest of the Republican party. But I can't think of a sequence of events I think would be likely to bring that about.
140 women working in and around the California Capitol signed a joint letter on pervasive sexual harassment.
44: Not being in California during the Bush years, I didn't know a lot of her objectionable positions over time. I wasn't surprised about Iraq war, was surprised about Bush tax cuts. (I called her office just this year to register displeasure for cosponsoring a drug war expansion bill, though.)
Oh, and let's not forget her insider-profiteering husband.
Is it wrong that it brings me a little bit of joy that Trump routinely verbally abuses men like Pence and Ryan? Apparently Trump likes to mock Pence's religious and moral views to his face, and then rubs it in that he's his boss. I hope a video of this gets leaked, Pence is utterly humiliated, the Religious Right revolt, get into a three-way fight with the alt right and NRO types, and then conservatism as a movement + the Republican party goes down in flames. The backlash gives us single payer healthcare and makes tax cuts on the wealthy toxic for 3 generations.
I think she would have been unraveled by the headwinds [...] Last fall, we had no clue what kind of propaganda infiltration was taking rootI agree with the headwinds, but I think it would have been regular Republican sabotage. Russian propaganda was known o last fall, and Obama, in a world-historic error, choose to do effectively nothing on the assumption Clinton would deal with it after she won. Had she done so, I'd guess she would be opposing Russian interference quite forcefully, and with significant effect.
people just need more education and a nice local pupuseria.
This is exactly what they need though. And sleep needs to be reallocated. I would have Trump caught on a sex tape screaming that he hated Jesus.
Russian propaganda was known o last fall, and Obama, in a world-historic error, choose to do effectively nothing on the assumption Clinton would deal with it after she won. Had she done so, I'd guess she would be opposing Russian interference quite forcefully, and with significant effect.
Was the full extent suspected? All the fake FB groups and so on? Or were they sufficiently stonewalled by FB that they didn't really know? That voter reg rolls might have been purged?
I'm kind of surprised that he hasn't died of a heart attack yet.
Firstly, running a country is a huge amount of stress (look at before/after pictures of pretty much any world leader) and it's well known that Trump isn't healthy.
Secondly, because it's well known that Trump isn't healthy. I'm pretty confident that the US can "do" heart attacks, so what is the Deep State waiting for? Have the secret rulers of the world lost their nerve since the glory days of JFK, Olof Palme and Dag Hammarskjöld?
I have been assuming that natural death due to some combination of generally bad health and age in the first four years is the most likely way for it to go. But I wonder to what degree his detachment from reality and narcissism is an antidote to the stress.
However, his family seems long-lived: Fred Trump lived to 93 and Marry Anne to 88. Excluding his alcoholic brother and his grandfather who caught the Spanish Flu, his shortest-lived relative I could find was his uncle John, the physicist, who died at 77.
Yeah, while he's overweight, a man his age who's had good medical care all his life could live to any age at all.
64 is right. Look at Dick Cheney. Anyway, life expectancy at birth is very different from life expectancy at already-fucking-old.
That last comment took me down the rabbit hole - I had thought that the assassination of Mahmoud Al-Mabhouh in Dubai had been via induced heart attack, but apparently it was succinylcholine and a pillow over the face which - according to the link - is relatively easy to spot.
There are lots of links on the internet to this video, which purports to show testimony to the Church Commission about a dartgun that produces undetectable heart attacks, but it's edited so that the contemporaneous interviewee is providing the details about the drug used in the gun.
The actual transcript of the "Hearings on Unauthorized Storage of Toxic Agents" doesn't refer to agents that cause heart attacks (Testimony of William E Colby, relevant section on dart guns from bottom of page 16 onwards, other witnesses are asked about dart guns too). Most of the emphasis is on paralytic saxitoxin from shellfish, which causes respiratory failure. Exhibits 1, 2, 3 and 13 relate to CIA stockpiles of chemical and biological weapons, and worth noting that Exhibit 2 does list some agents that act on the heart.
In another hearing by the Church Commission, "Alleged Assassination Plots Involving Foreign Leaders" it's suggested that the CIA tried to assassinate Patrice Lumumba using various biological agents (see footnote) on his food or toothbrush. Interestingly the biological agents correspond closely to those listed in Exhibit 1 in the other hearing.
Anyway, no smoking [heart attack inducing dart]gun, but all the pieces seem to be there, including willingness to carry out these forms of attack. That was all back in the 60s and early 70s, so whether that sort of thing is more or less likely to go on these days depends on your degree of optimism.
(The link in the first line of the previous comment should be succinylcholine and a pillow over the face.)
64: But he might have narcissistic-celebrity-induced bad doctor syndrome.
I'd like a version of 57 a lot add in Trump bragging on a phone video about what a good con he has going and what dumb chumps the Republicans are. He dies of appoplexy in the first few minutes of grilling by congress.
I'd like a version of 57 a lot add in Trump bragging on a phone video about what a good con he has going and what dumb chumps the Republicans are. He dies of appoplexy in the first few minutes of grilling by congress.
66.1: It probably depends on the pattern of your sheets.
|| It's common to hear people joke about invoking their powder clause, but it's funny to see it actually spelled out. |>
Democrats take back the House and the Senate in a wave election and file articles of impeachment at the start of the session. Trump snaps and detonates a suicide vest during a Cabinet meeting. During the reconstruction effort, President Pelosi pushes the American Free Weed and Tacos Act through Congress.
I'll settle for a heart attack on the toilet. With a photographer present to record the moment for posterity.
I do not want the Ds to have to impeach him. That would make it much too easy for the Rs to avoid reckoning with having gotten us here.
76: Agreed, but it was just the trigger for the suicide bomb.
The Rs are mostly going to say it's liberals that made them do what they did to get us here. If Obama wouldn't have tried to provide health care for people, they wouldn't have become racist shitheels.
It's also my fault that 16 Republican members of Congress fucked a sheep on camera, but I don't want to spoil next week's news.
76: You have a more practical suggestion?
Anyway: America, 2019.
80: Just keep feeding him those well-done steaks with ketchup until he keels over. But otherwise no. If the Ds are in a position to impeach him, their duty is to do the right thing for the sake of the country even though it will cost them politically. They can't shirk that duty just because the Rs are doing so, egregiously, now. But it will suck if it comes to that.
61: Yes. We've had this discussion before. Whether the full extent was known during the election doesn't really matter; it was known, and Clinton, if elected, would have had battalions of people working on it and discovering the extent.
Trump dies of a heart attack while having sex with Putin. The dead weight of his body crushes Putin to death.
83 is laughable. We all know who the bottom is.
You know what they say -- KGB in the streets, Bolshoi ballet in the sheets.
Not just the bottom, but "The Bottom". The Platonic ideal of asshole.
The great sphincter that is both shitting on America himself and on behalf of all the people who felt eight years of a black president as a personal insult toward them.
Trump surely is too flabby to be the ideal bottom.
The ideal asshole, not the ideal bottom.
This conversation has suddenly gone to a very dark place.
Would you like a glow stick/butt plug? $9.99 or free to members of Roy Moore's Religious Freedom Club.
No thanks, but I will concede that electrocution by faulty wiring in a glowing butt plug would be a fine way to usher in the Pence Administration.
"Mother, call an ambulance! The President has taken a bad fall on a strangely shaped desk lamp."
"Our surgeons did what they could but it took them two hours just to get the smile off his face."
We are all always in a very dark place now.
Top Secret! was Val Kilmer's best movie that wasn't Real Genius. Republicans clearly use the bad guy from Real Genius as a model.
If you follow 82 back two links, you get Mossy saying this, one week before the election:
"Good and terrifying podcast on the Russian hacking campaign. Worst part: some jurisdictions don't have hard-copy voters' rolls anymore. Delete a swathe of Rs somewhere, everything blows the fuck up after the election. For extras, there's still an empty chair on the SCOTUS. It's way past time for Obama to call a national emergency here."
The "swathe of Rs" is so quaint! Aside from that, maybe I should have listened to that podcast. Or maybe not.
Asking for a friend: how much of a sense of humor should you expect from Russians about vodka and wolves and sports doping?
97: You totally should listen to that podcast. "Swathe of Rs" because I and everyone else were quaintly assuming the Russians couldn't do worse than disrupt the inevitable Clinton administration.
I'd take anything that brings Pence and Ryan down with him. It's too late to be choosy.
I'm sure Pence will be able to save himself with a careful speech how he doesn't want to hang gay people, he just wants the option kept open in case he needs to.
OT: It looks really weird when brightly lit. (First picture)
Best-case scenario: the Mueller investigation turns up incontrovertible proof that Pence knew about the Russian meddling all along and in fact was involved in it, as well as Rupert Murdoch or some Fox bigwig because why not. The stress of this makes Trump even more deranged. He dies in an auto-erotic asphyxiation accident involving one of his children. Impeachment of President Pence over the Russian connection is on the table but proceeds slowly, because Congressional Republicans stonewall for him. It drags out well into the midterm election and leads to historical losses, just in time for redistricting. Along with all the other good policies President Pelosi passes, something leading to nonpartisan redistricting gets a little ground.
Republicans dissolve into infighting between the different flavors of crazy. Hoping for them to come to their senses and realize that the whole ideology is bad is more than I can imagine. But if the libertarians become convinced that the religious nuts and the fascists are just as bad as the Democratic Party, and same for the other two, I'd call that good enough.
103 Shortly after Pelosi ascends to the presidency and the Democrats win a majority in the Senate, Gorsuch dies of a brain aneurysm.
Gorsuch has the aneurysm during the same auto-erotic incident.
Actually it would probably be preferable for Thomas and Alito (for example) to simply decide that they want to retire, and be replaced by liberal judges. Then Gorsuch can look forward to four more decades of robust health. Locked in a permanent minority. For ever. That is what is meant by "to the pain".
Fine. Trump, Thomas, Alito autoerotic aneurysms, lifelong suffering for Gorsuch.
No, no. I want long, healthy lives after retirement for Thomas and Alito too, so they can wake up every morning and watch their legacies being overturned.
They'll be senile for most of it. Thomas is basically senile already, no?
But ok fine, aneurysms and locked-in syndrome all round. The nurses can park them in front of SCOTUS TV all day.
I just want to point out, for the record, that I would settle for one little execution. You lot are sadistic bastards.
Tom Hardy crushes the skulls of every Republican in DC with his bare hands, marries and is pardoned by President Pelosi, on condition he sunbathe daily on the National Mall.
There you go. Style points for having a foreigner do our dirty work, as is our tradition.
Let me take this opportunity to recommend Taboo most heartily.
There's a new batshit crazy miniseries created, produced and acted by Tom Hardy.
If Don Ed Hardy over Tom Hardy in 113 then I am in.
||
I got another job. Not great but ok, unless it turns out a lot worse than it looks. Signing tomorrow.
|>
Hooray, depending on how it turns out.
123: Congratulations. Some stability, at least.
123 Congrats and good luck with it.
I have nearly recovered my strength after losing my wish fulfillment comment from yesterday. I will reproduce a part of it.
Because he entered the public sphere, Trump's business transactions will receive the scrutiny they would never have gotten had he stayed private. The New York Attorney General will find fraud and tax evasion and jail him, after a perp walk. His children will be swept up in it, (not Tiffany and Barron) and get their own perp walks. Ivanka will hate Trump for costing her her jailed husband and lifestyle. In the course of disgorging their illicit wealth, they'll lose Trump Tower.
I also fantasize that the minute Chancellor Merkel left their horrid meeting at the Oval Office, she called Deutsche Bank and said "call all his debts; give the IRS everything."
I bet even Deutsche was never dumb enough to lend him a pfennig.
I endorse 127.
If, however, that outcome does not materialize, an American version of that Black Mirror episode with the Prime Minister and the pig would do nicely.
I think @51 is completely right, that even a documented event in which Trump said "all of the people who voted for me are dumb asses and I laugh at you behind your back with my real friends all the time" would not change their minds (you know, along with the murder committed on 5th avenue).
But, I think #127 is an excellent wish, and I even think it possible.
I think @51 is completely right, that even a documented event in which Trump said "all of the people who voted for me are dumb asses and I laugh at you behind your back with my real friends all the time" would not change their minds (you know, along with the murder committed on 5th avenue).
But, I think #127 is an excellent wish, and I even think it possible.
Tom Hardy has pretty good taste in roles. I enjoyed The Drop, Locke and Bronson, and Taboo is huge fun as a kind of mash-up of Game of Thrones, Flashman and From Hell. Bonus points for making it as a vanity project with his Dad.
While we're off-topic, I watched both The Tenant and Mountain of the Cannibal God for the first time yesterday. Both have pretty weird final reels.
128: Deutsche was the only bank that kept lending to him after all the US ones pulled the plug.
