Re: Don't have kids.

1

Also, adult men are basically immune because lice apparently don't like testosterone

Aha! Finally the conclusive proof of male superiority! God loves us more!


Posted by: peep | Link to this comment | 07-18-18 7:51 AM
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I don't understand this thing. In Mossheimat kids in kindergarten chronically had lice because they had compulsory nap times on shared bedding or something stupid. (I didn't go to kindergarten, thanks SAHM!) In elementary school I dimly remember individuals getting lice, but nothing epidemic, much less endemic. WTF are Americans doing?


Posted by: Mossy Character | Link to this comment | 07-18-18 7:57 AM
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2: Having sex with dead crows.

Why aren't you paying attention, Mossy?


Posted by: peep | Link to this comment | 07-18-18 7:59 AM
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Also I'm picturing the professional nit-comber as a kindly-looking mama gorilla.


Posted by: Mossy Character | Link to this comment | 07-18-18 8:00 AM
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They louse you up, your fellow kids.


Posted by: md 20/400 | Link to this comment | 07-18-18 8:01 AM
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When I was a kid, it used to be wrestling and baseball (shared batting helmets). Now, nobody wrestles because of all the Republican sex criminals and everybody either quit playing baseball or got a batting helmet for each kid.

I don't know how it spreads in girls.


Posted by: Moby Hick | Link to this comment | 07-18-18 8:02 AM
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Is it testosterone or short hair? I mean, it could be testosterone, but I'd think testosterone would explain it.


Posted by: LizardBreath | Link to this comment | 07-18-18 8:04 AM
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I read somewhere not too long ago that the shared hats thing is a myth - that lice can only be spread by head-to-head contact. I have even started trying on hats* again in stores. Have I been misled?

*I look terrible in hats. My head is too big, I think. But I still aspire to find one I can wear.


Posted by: politicalfootball | Link to this comment | 07-18-18 8:06 AM
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Maybe, but boys get it as easily as girls, although shaved heads will do the trick to prevent it.


Posted by: heebie-geebie | Link to this comment | 07-18-18 8:08 AM
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Back when more people had body lice, men certainly got those. A combination of short hair and less direct child contact?


Posted by: LizardBreath | Link to this comment | 07-18-18 8:09 AM
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Maybe aggressive chemical or medicinal countermeasures have bred superlice in Texas.


Posted by: Minivet | Link to this comment | 07-18-18 8:11 AM
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I think the superlice are national. (I also looked askance at that part of the linked PPT.)


Posted by: heebie-geebie | Link to this comment | 07-18-18 8:12 AM
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Is this a Texas thing? I remember lice being a vague thing you heard about at school but nobody really worried about. We were checked maybe twice a year by somebody at school; parents were never asked to do anything.


Posted by: Cryptic ned | Link to this comment | 07-18-18 8:13 AM
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This does seem to be much more of a problem in the US. As a child I got them once, not 3-4 times a year. Nor did my parents check me weekly.
And, yes, they spread through direct head-to-head contact, or at least that's what we were told. Adults, especially adult men, don't get them as often because we don't do direct head-to-head contact very much.


Posted by: ajay | Link to this comment | 07-18-18 8:14 AM
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Every couple of years, we get a letter home that somebody in the kid's class has lice and we should check our kid for a while.


Posted by: Moby Hick | Link to this comment | 07-18-18 8:14 AM
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Back when more people had body lice, men certainly got those.

Indeed they did, and wrote poems about it.

https://en.wikisource.org/wiki/To_a_Louse

https://www.poetryfoundation.org/poems/46467/the-flea


Posted by: ajay | Link to this comment | 07-18-18 8:16 AM
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The letter never says which kid had lice, leading to cruel speculation on my part.


Posted by: Moby Hick | Link to this comment | 07-18-18 8:16 AM
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13: Yes, that's how I remember it too. I don't remember that I ever had them.


Posted by: peep | Link to this comment | 07-18-18 8:18 AM
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Anyway, I've never had lice as far as I know, nor anybody in my household (now or growing up).


Posted by: Moby Hick | Link to this comment | 07-18-18 8:20 AM
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I don't remember getting them or being checked ever.


Posted by: Mossy Character | Link to this comment | 07-18-18 8:21 AM
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I do remember them lining up the whole class and checking. Which, I can imagine, would have been awkward if the nurse leapt back and shouted or something.


Posted by: Moby Hick | Link to this comment | 07-18-18 8:22 AM
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Not an issue. Gorillas are totally unfazed by lice.


Posted by: Mossy Character | Link to this comment | 07-18-18 8:24 AM
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My household had what I think of as two lice events, although the second one took a while to eradicate. One from little league batting helmets (I assume, that's when it happened) and one when they were going around Ellie's middle school. Both times, nitcombing with conditioner worked pretty well for me.

(Shall I bring up marital grievances? Why not. The time we had a hard time eradicating them, it was because I had them and couldn't do a good job on my own hair, and Tim wouldn't do it. When I realized that I still had them and had given them to the kids again, I got an aggressive haircut and nitcombed myself obsessively.)

But not the kind of constant problem Heebie's talking about. I wonder if it's a climate thing?


Posted by: LizardBreath | Link to this comment | 07-18-18 8:25 AM
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I've wondered if it's a climate thing, too.


Posted by: heebie-geebie | Link to this comment | 07-18-18 8:28 AM
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Not clear on how the OP relates to crows having sex with dead crows, but I'm sure we'll find a way.


Posted by: Robert Halford | Link to this comment | 07-18-18 8:32 AM
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I think it's because Americans constantly rub their heads together, like nervous sheep.


Posted by: Mossy Character | Link to this comment | 07-18-18 8:32 AM
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26: We are nervous sheep.


Posted by: peep | Link to this comment | 07-18-18 8:37 AM
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According to something I read somewhere, most humans until modern times would routinely pick lice off each other and use it as a form of affectionate family bonding, like chimpanzees or other apes do. So lice gives modern families the opportunity to get in touch with their mammalian roots and bond the way evolution intended us to. They are a good thing.*

*I feel like I may have made this same dumb point the last time lice came up, but the reality is that most of us are running on fumes at this point.


Posted by: Robert Halford | Link to this comment | 07-18-18 8:39 AM
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re: 24

We are due an explosion then, since it's been heatwave time here for months.

I had them twice, I think, in high school. Never before, never since. I don't think my son has ever had them. We've got a cupboard full of the stuff, which we bought when it was going round the school, but never had to use them. He likes the nit comb, though. He uses it to style his hair into faux-hawks when in the bath.


Posted by: nattarGcM ttaM | Link to this comment | 07-18-18 8:40 AM
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I really don't believe that it is impossible for lice to be transmitted except by head to head contact. I got lice as an adult, and while I'm willing to believe in retrospect that I may have actually eradicated them long before I thought I did (and I eventually shaved my head) I wasn't having head to head contact at the time, but I was sleeping in some dodgy bedding. Just because lice are obligate parasites does not mean there is no period of time they can survive away from food, and it would make sense as a reproductive strategy for them to have some impulse to explore and exploit new territory. I try on hats in stores because I don't think transmission is common that way, and you should be able to tell by visual inspection if there's a bug in the hat. But I would have to see some convincing data to believe that lice never make a point of crawling onto some other nearby soft object.


Posted by: Tia | Link to this comment | 07-18-18 8:40 AM
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I'm all for protein but that there is too much paleo.


Posted by: Mossy Character | Link to this comment | 07-18-18 8:41 AM
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23: Holy shit. What kind of shit husband wouldn't do it? It's a non-negotiable responsibility of marriage, unless contact with lice would push you into anaphylatic shock or something.


Posted by: Walt Someguy | Link to this comment | 07-18-18 8:42 AM
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I've never seen or heard anything about lice here, where there is always a heatwave.


Posted by: Mossy Character | Link to this comment | 07-18-18 8:43 AM
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It wasn't a flatout refusal, but he kind of poked at my hair for a minute or two with the comb and then quit. I was dumbfounded enough that I didn't make a big thing of it.

But yes, I agree with your evaluation of the situation. That's probably eight years ago now, and I'm about as pissy about that in retrospect as I am about the affair with the woman he left me for.


Posted by: LizardBreath | Link to this comment | 07-18-18 8:45 AM
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You should have infested him first, so you could make it a mutual bonding thing.


Posted by: Mossy Character | Link to this comment | 07-18-18 8:46 AM
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Bald as the proverbial egg.


Posted by: LizardBreath | Link to this comment | 07-18-18 8:47 AM
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28: I believe last time it came up I predicted that phrases like "lousy" and "nitpicking" would be deprecated as louse-shaming or even lousephobic, and discouraged in the interest of building a generally louse-positive and louse-accepting culture.


Posted by: ajay | Link to this comment | 07-18-18 8:47 AM
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I suppose I could have gone out in search of crabs, but at that point in the marriage it would have seemed over the top.


Posted by: LizardBreath | Link to this comment | 07-18-18 8:47 AM
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And, more to the point, below the belt.


Posted by: Mossy Character | Link to this comment | 07-18-18 8:49 AM
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It's a foolish, weak man who passes up an easy source of protein. You're better off without him.


Posted by: Eggplant | Link to this comment | 07-18-18 8:49 AM
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Also, any first-world nation which possesses in the 21st century professional nit-combers totally deserves whatever happens to it.


Posted by: Mossy Character | Link to this comment | 07-18-18 8:51 AM
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||why isn't the crows having sex with dead crows article a front page post yet?!? This is one of the biggest news days in Unfogged history.|>


Posted by: Robert Halford | Link to this comment | 07-18-18 8:51 AM
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I TOLD THEM NOT TO MAKE A SEQUEL


Posted by: OPINIONATED BRANDON LEE | Link to this comment | 07-18-18 8:53 AM
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"Revenge crabs" is truly a game where you win but you lose


Posted by: Robert Halford | Link to this comment | 07-18-18 8:54 AM
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Huh, I thought "revenge crabs" would be a zero result google search but it may (probably not, this looks fake, but still) actually exist. Turns out you may not actually need to sleep with someone.

https://www.trendhunter.com/trends/getting-even-with-exes-revenge-crabs


Posted by: Robert Halford | Link to this comment | 07-18-18 8:56 AM
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Right. The toilet seat.


Posted by: Moby Hick | Link to this comment | 07-18-18 8:57 AM
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36: It seems my 1 was wrong and the actual evidence points to God loving bald men best of all. But that's obviously wrong, so I guess we're back to the original hypothesis that God hates us all equally.


Posted by: peep | Link to this comment | 07-18-18 9:03 AM
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OH MY GOD. my children and I have been struggling with lice for more than two months now. first we got it from girl x, who has waist length hair, have I ever mentioned that? we got good, got time enough that they were eradicated. then we got it from girl y, as it was obviously running like wildfire through the middle and high school. she has the finest yet thicker hair in the world, also very useful. the third time we re-infested ourselves by not getting all the eggs off in time (as you can imagine, I have spent more than eight hours getting eggs out of someone's fucking waist-length hair) and then her sister also, who with only mid-back hair has the "short" hair in the family (I mean, barring mine, which has bangs and is slightly below the ears). then you're supposed to use the treatment every week for two more weeks and we've missed our last dose. I'll try to do it again today. I hate everything.


Posted by: alameida | Link to this comment | 07-18-18 9:13 AM
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If you read the EPA power point, you only need to worry about nits next to the scalp -- they say a quarter inch, but if you just worried about the first inch that'd be something. I mean, live bugs the shampoo should get, but the hyperattentive nitcombing doesn't need to go to the ends of the hair.


Posted by: LizardBreath | Link to this comment | 07-18-18 9:18 AM
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But I have total sympathy. Ellie had long, thick, fine, tangly hair at that age, and combing it took forever. One little lock of hair, comb, bobby pin off to the side as done. And another. And another. For ages and ages and ages.


Posted by: LizardBreath | Link to this comment | 07-18-18 9:21 AM
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|| hey I have somehow lost the keys to the blog again (hook me up, neb. then I will post, actually; I have all kind of things to say) or I would otherwise front page myself, but I am in DC/Takoma Park MD, july 30, 31 or august 1. well, also tonight and the next two days also, but that's a little short notice. are we met at busboys and poets last time, in DC I think technically. but republic also looks nice and has oysters. technically this a a month with an r in it so we're not supposed to eat them, but whatever.|>


Posted by: alameida | Link to this comment | 07-18-18 9:25 AM
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48: There is no one more sympathetic than me.


Posted by: heebie-geebie | Link to this comment | 07-18-18 9:29 AM
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After this conversation, my head itches.


Posted by: LizardBreath | Link to this comment | 07-18-18 9:32 AM
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I AM MORE SYMPATHETIC.


Posted by: OPINIONATED OSSΓ‹ | Link to this comment | 07-18-18 9:42 AM
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I trust the EPA presentation more for the surnames of its presenters implying, respectively, a codfish, a David Brooks-ism, and the prefect of Judea.


Posted by: Minivet | Link to this comment | 07-18-18 10:06 AM
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Why does the EPA handle lice anyway?


Posted by: Mossy Character | Link to this comment | 07-18-18 10:27 AM
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Good question. The amusing Powerpoint is from the "Center of Expertise for School IPM" which does not have a presence on the EPA's website, but as you can see here there is a major "Pesticide Environmental Stewardship Program" which includes advice on Integrated Pest Management, defined as any and all approaches to killing/preventing pests other than indiscriminate spraying of pesticide everywhere.

IOW, Heebie is being victimized by busy-state nanny-bodies that would rather waste everyone's time than use a little bit of the supposedly toxic miracle chemicals known as lice treatments.


Posted by: Cryptic ned | Link to this comment | 07-18-18 10:34 AM
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So can I use DDT or not?


Posted by: Mossy Character | Link to this comment | 07-18-18 10:46 AM
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I don't actually have any pests, I just want to be risqué and stuff.


Posted by: Mossy Character | Link to this comment | 07-18-18 10:47 AM
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I would use toxic chemicals if I believed they killed the nits. How toxic are we talking?


Posted by: heebie-geebie | Link to this comment | 07-18-18 10:49 AM
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Actually I wouldn't. My problem is chronic exposure. I want everyone else to use the to toxic options that I don't actually think exist.


Posted by: heebie-geebie | Link to this comment | 07-18-18 10:50 AM
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So you're Republican is what you're saying.


Posted by: Mossy Character | Link to this comment | 07-18-18 10:51 AM
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I feel like if we get rid of all the lice, Napoleon will conquer Russia and solve a lot of problems.


Posted by: Moby Hick | Link to this comment | 07-18-18 10:52 AM
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Lies. That was all about the contradictions between land redistribution and B's decision to make himself a monarch instead of seriously getting down with the gente.


Posted by: Mossy Character | Link to this comment | 07-18-18 10:59 AM
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(And where might that counterfactual have led? An insurgent revolutionary state centred on Smolensk, eating away through Megalopolitan attrition the the Czarist order he couldn't simply bring to battle? Napoleon tried elements of all these strategies, but didn't follow through.)


Posted by: Mossy Character | Link to this comment | 07-18-18 11:08 AM
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AND IT'S NOT AS IF THE LICE CARE WHOSE SIDE YOU'RE ON.


Posted by: OPINIONATED COMMODORE HORATIO HORNBLOWER | Link to this comment | 07-18-18 11:16 AM
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I assume it's something like 'mono' and therefore only happens in North America.

I think I recall one nit episode in school.


Posted by: chris s | Link to this comment | 07-18-18 4:19 PM
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I got mono in graduate school. It was pretty bad.


Posted by: Moby Hick | Link to this comment | 07-18-18 4:22 PM
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OT: Thanks to the internet, I was able to easily explain to my son why I shouted "KHAAAAN" every time he starts a Khan Academy on-line assignment.


Posted by: Moby Hick | Link to this comment | 07-18-18 4:56 PM
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I grew up in Narnia and had never heard of head lice until reading Unfogged.


Posted by: Ponder Stibbons | Link to this comment | 07-18-18 6:31 PM
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Hey guys, check out what house is for sale. Who wants to chip in

https://www.zillow.com/homedetails/11222-Dilling-St-North-Hollywood-CA-91602/20025974_zpid/


Posted by: Robert Halford | Link to this comment | 07-18-18 6:41 PM
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I recognized the house before I saw the title of the listing.


Posted by: Moby Hick | Link to this comment | 07-18-18 6:44 PM
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In 40 kid-years of parenting we had one infestation, last summer, with one recurrence after we thought they were gone. If we hadn't gotten rid of them the second time I was seriously going to make a batch of DDT. It's not toxic to humans at the necessary amounts and super easy to synthesize.
I was nearly infested, one day I felt something creepy on my head, grabbed it, and pulled out a live louse. I thought oh crap and obsessively combed for the next week but never got any more, I guess I literally nipped it in the bud.


Posted by: SP | Link to this comment | 07-18-18 6:47 PM
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40 kid years sounds so much more impressive than the usual way of talking! Then we're at 24 kid years. I like how we accumulate kid-years so much faster than feebler parents with their 2 kid families.


Posted by: heebie-geebie | Link to this comment | 07-18-18 6:59 PM
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what does that mean?


Posted by: Robert Halford | Link to this comment | 07-18-18 7:00 PM
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oh I see you add up the ages of the kids, giving the superbreeders an advantage


Posted by: RH | Link to this comment | 07-18-18 7:01 PM
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Sometimes, you're just busy with three boys of your own, single for some reason that is never explained, and meet a lovely lady.


Posted by: Moby Hick | Link to this comment | 07-18-18 7:16 PM
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Then the kid-years pile up so fast.


Posted by: Moby Hick | Link to this comment | 07-18-18 7:19 PM
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Did they have a Very Special Episode about head lice?


Posted by: Kreskin | Link to this comment | 07-18-18 7:23 PM
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10 sounds like a very special episode, covering the topics of body lice and direct child contact.


Posted by: SP | Link to this comment | 07-18-18 7:26 PM
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I think they were around 90 in kids years by the end, plus cousin Oliver.


Posted by: Robert Halford | Link to this comment | 07-18-18 7:27 PM
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I liked the one where they went to Hawaii and Peter saw a crow having sex with a dead crow


Posted by: Robert Halford | Link to this comment | 07-18-18 7:29 PM
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On the topic of don't have kids, we had to buy another goddamn minivan. We tried switching to a 7 seat SUV but they just don't have enough room for when we travel anywhere- the higher clearance kills you on the size of the rear cargo area.
Also I've been living alone the last couple weeks because I had to go back to work (newish job, not much vacation accrued yet) while the family stayed on vacation. Holy shit is it cheap to feed just one person.


Posted by: SP | Link to this comment | 07-18-18 7:30 PM
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My favorite was the one where Marsha had two dates on the same night and one of them was a dead crow.


Posted by: Moby Hick | Link to this comment | 07-18-18 7:31 PM
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83: Just get a full-sized van. It's got more dignity and you can airbrush an eagle on the side.


Posted by: Moby Hick | Link to this comment | 07-18-18 7:32 PM
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Or, you know, a crow.


Posted by: Mossy Character | Link to this comment | 07-18-18 7:35 PM
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I also liked the one where Greg couldn't play football so he took photographs of the game. To try to see if Greg was out of bounds or not, they blew-up a photo he took. After enlarging, you could see a crow having sex with a dead crow near Greg's foot.


Posted by: Moby Hick | Link to this comment | 07-18-18 7:36 PM
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83: If you ever want to try the 7-seat suv again instead of a minivan, Subaru makes one now.

https://www.caranddriver.com/reviews/2019-subaru-ascent-limited-test-review


Posted by: Bostoniangirl | Link to this comment | 07-18-18 7:41 PM
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Yes, I test drove one, it's the best drive of all of them- great acceleration and turning. But still small third row seats and not much room behind them.


Posted by: SP | Link to this comment | 07-18-18 7:45 PM
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You could use that third row for discipline. Only the two worst kids sit there.


Posted by: Moby Hick | Link to this comment | 07-18-18 7:51 PM
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Just get a full-sized van. It's got more dignity and you can airbrush an eagle on the side.

I like to call them a maxivan.

Actually, not those. The things I call a maxivan are those family luxury vans from the 80s. The maxivans.


Posted by: heebie-geebie | Link to this comment | 07-18-18 8:17 PM
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Lice vs. Bed bugs. Who wins?


Posted by: Stanley | Link to this comment | 07-18-18 8:19 PM
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We had one, maybe. It had two front seats, two "captain" chairs in the next row, and then a bench/bed in the back. The center could drop to the floor and make a U-shaped bench or it could be a bed.


Posted by: Moby Hick | Link to this comment | 07-18-18 8:19 PM
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My dad rigged up a shelf in the back so that it could hold an ice chest in reach of the passengers. He put a seat belt around it because it didn't want it to projectile at us.


Posted by: Moby Hick | Link to this comment | 07-18-18 8:21 PM
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So, once a year a man comes around my office (and everybody else in the building) with a cute beagle-looking dog that can, allegedly, smell bed bugs. I have my doubts, but it's far better than the fucking fire alarm tests they ran today.


Posted by: Moby Hick | Link to this comment | 07-18-18 8:28 PM
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"Crow has sex with dead crow" is news. "Dog has sex with dead dog" isn't. Or "dog has sex with dead crow".


Posted by: Moby Hick | Link to this comment | 07-18-18 8:45 PM
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A crow having sex with a dead crow is a tragedy. A crow having sex with a million dead crows is a statistic.


Posted by: Kreskin | Link to this comment | 07-18-18 8:56 PM
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In case somebody in the future comes by and reads this thread without having read other threads active on the same day, the dead crow-sex thing was mentioned elsewhere earlier today. Thank you.


Posted by: Moby Hick | Link to this comment | 07-18-18 9:04 PM
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Preserving the Archives for generations to come.


Posted by: Kreskin | Link to this comment | 07-18-18 9:09 PM
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Probably one of us is going to become somebody really important or be revealed as a serial killer, and then the archives will be redacted into nonsense.


Posted by: Moby Hick | Link to this comment | 07-18-18 9:13 PM
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I got $5 on serial killer.


Posted by: Moby Hick | Link to this comment | 07-18-18 9:13 PM
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Thinking about that moment when people stopped talking about my having so much "potential" to be a serial killer.


Posted by: foolishmortal | Link to this comment | 07-18-18 9:58 PM
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Probably one of us is going to become somebody really important

Not that any of us are currently planning a military coup from our secret headquarters in the basement of the Radcliffe Camera as the only way to forestall a disastrous Brexit or anything.


Posted by: ajay | Link to this comment | 07-19-18 1:32 AM
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My daughter had lice almost continually in a very swipl part of Essex, from the age of about ten till 14? 15? In any case, puberty made her hair greasier and the lice went away. But the ages spent combing her every week! She had a lot of thick, shoulder-length hair, and the ex believed that chemicals gave her headaches and insisted on using purely manual means. Parents got them occasionally too. The school was one vast infestation after they stopped with the nit lady.

Growing up these were entirely unknown, if you ignore my sister, who got them from a gypsy playmate in Belgrade when she was five or six.


Posted by: NW | Link to this comment | 07-19-18 2:27 AM
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re: 103

It does have a very 'evil villain's lair' tunnel:

https://www.flickr.com/photos/diz2012/6414512039


Posted by: nattarGcM ttaM | Link to this comment | 07-19-18 2:55 AM
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QUIET YOU FOOL


Posted by: ajay | Link to this comment | 07-19-18 3:20 AM
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89: If you only had 3 kids, you could fold down one of the rows for extra cargo space. One of them has to be off doing his ow her own thing by now.


Posted by: Bostoniangirl | Link to this comment | 07-19-18 3:49 AM
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91: Google says that Maxi Vans can seat 14 people. Someone I work with went on a cruise with a bunch of people in her family. Instead of flying to Florida, they rented a Mercedes van and took turns driving. No one person had to drive for that long, and it was a lot cheaper.


Posted by: Bostoniangirl | Link to this comment | 07-19-18 3:53 AM
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33: Oh, some of the kids you teach will definitely have head lice, Mossy. It's just that nice middle-class parents either don't realize their kids are infested or are too embarrassed to admit it.

AIHMHB, my next-door neighbor in Osaka was super-supercilious about how her kids were immune to lice and what a pity that my boys' Western hair made them more susceptible, until I lent her a nit comb.

The number of cases reported in Japanese schools has been rising in recent years, I think out of greater awareness than an actual rise in prevalence. Out of curiosity I looked at the Japanese equivalent of Mumsnet, and found slews of posts blaming foreigners for bringing them in.


Posted by: Ume | Link to this comment | 07-19-18 5:00 AM
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I looked at the Japanese equivalent of Mumsnet, and found slews of posts blaming foreigners for bringing them in.

Or the "gypsies", per 104.


Posted by: ajay | Link to this comment | 07-19-18 5:06 AM
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The prescription shampoo my mom got for me killed the nuts. Also, it's worth trying yea tree shampoo as a preventive measure.


Posted by: Bostoniangirl | Link to this comment | 07-19-18 5:40 AM
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The prescription shampoo my mom got for me killed the nuts

Cheaper than a vasectomy, I suppose, but still a little unnerving.


Posted by: ajay | Link to this comment | 07-19-18 5:52 AM
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109.1: No doubt. I just think I would've noticed if it was epidemic proportions. Vector control for respiratory stuff is easily noticeable (masks, handwashing).


Posted by: Mossy Character | Link to this comment | 07-19-18 6:13 AM
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Apparently, this is day 2 of the days without a front page post about crow necrophilia. Don't think we aren't noticing. Don't think we don't see the system at work. Don't think we aren't aware of what you want to keep from us. Don't think you can hide reality. #thetruthalwayswins #thewholeworldiswatching #crowsonexcrows


Posted by: Robert Halford | Link to this comment | 07-19-18 6:15 AM
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My mom confirms lice have never been a thing in our third world kleptocracy.


Posted by: Mossy Character | Link to this comment | 07-19-18 6:28 AM
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Maybe they're afraid of hippos.


Posted by: Moby Hick | Link to this comment | 07-19-18 6:29 AM
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Egrets, more likely.


Posted by: Mossy Character | Link to this comment | 07-19-18 6:30 AM
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Egrets, I've had a few.
But then again, too few to mention.


Posted by: Moby Hick | Link to this comment | 07-19-18 6:32 AM
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That should have come from "Opinionated Necrophiliac Crow".


Posted by: Moby Hick | Link to this comment | 07-19-18 6:35 AM
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113: Yes, but lice are a lot more embarrassing than colds and flu, and far less obvious. Parents either don't notice, or treat their kids quietly without telling anyone in case they get teased or bullied. Japanese schools rarely make a big deal of it in public - head lice merited, if I remember rightly, two short mentions in the school's monthly Health Bulletin over the six years my kids were there - but I still needed to comb every fortnight to fend off infestations before they could become established.


Posted by: Ume | Link to this comment | 07-19-18 6:35 AM
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It's so strange to have a culture that hides away and denies easily treatable insect infestations instead of something reasonable to hide like day drinking or minor car accidents.


Posted by: Moby Hick | Link to this comment | 07-19-18 6:38 AM
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I guess maybe primary school kids are too young for those.


Posted by: Moby Hick | Link to this comment | 07-19-18 6:42 AM
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120: True. I'd ask my colleagues, but they might look at me funny.


Posted by: Mossy Character | Link to this comment | 07-19-18 6:52 AM
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The prescription shampoo my mom got for me killed the nuts. Also, it's worth trying yea tree shampoo as a preventive measure.

I don't think the first is conventional wisdom, at least. For the second, we do use a rosemary shampoo on the kids and spritz them with peppermint or rosemary on the way out the door. I'm told that the more gunk is in kids' hair - like gel and product - the more unpleasant and the more the adult lice will flee to a nearby head, fwiw, but I am loathe to put gel in the kids hair on a daily basis just because it's an extra step.


Posted by: heebie-geebie | Link to this comment | 07-19-18 6:56 AM
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we do use a rosemary shampoo on the kids and spritz them with peppermint or rosemary on the way out the door.

Thanks.


Posted by: Opinionated Witch Living in House Made of Candy | Link to this comment | 07-19-18 6:57 AM
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Why not shave them? I bet it'll soon be all the rage for white people.


Posted by: Mossy Character | Link to this comment | 07-19-18 6:58 AM
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Maybe some garlic too.


Posted by: Opinionated Witch Living in House Made of Candy | Link to this comment | 07-19-18 6:58 AM
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125 is great.


Posted by: Mossy Character | Link to this comment | 07-19-18 6:59 AM
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127 is too on the nose.


Posted by: Mossy Character | Link to this comment | 07-19-18 6:59 AM
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Don't make fun of the witch's nose.


Posted by: Barry Freed | Link to this comment | 07-19-18 7:12 AM
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We had two bouts with lice during the past five years or so (never happened with my oldest*). I wasn't affected either time, and one of the episodes was when I had hair to the middle of my back, so anecdotal evidence. I am testosterrific, laydeez.

*Who is now 21 and studying for the LSAT and oh my god how old am I.


Posted by: apostropher | Link to this comment | 07-19-18 12:08 PM
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Lice or a law degree. You got to pick one or the other.


Posted by: Moby Hick | Link to this comment | 07-19-18 12:32 PM
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My sister insists on keeping my niece's hair as long as it will grow. Unsurprisingly, she keeps getting lice at daycare, and equally unsurprisingly, it's almost impossible to get every nit out. I think she finally found some expensive product that helped, but I don't remember what it was exactly. And then I found five nits.


Posted by: Natilo Paennim | Link to this comment | 07-19-18 12:39 PM
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Lice or a law degree.

Some people go to law school only to spend an entire career picking nits.


Posted by: Stanley | Link to this comment | 07-19-18 1:28 PM
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109,110.

Nits make lice.


Posted by: John Chivington | Link to this comment | 07-19-18 1:33 PM
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Who is now 21 and studying for the LSAT

OMG, apo, have we taught you nothing? Surely he can be taught to dig ditches, or wash dishes -- something with some prospect of earning an honest living.

(I am currently engaged in a long-distance campaign to convince Sally's next-year apartment-mate not to go to law school. I've never met them, but Sally's fond of them, which means they should be rescued from the prospect.)


Posted by: LizardBreath | Link to this comment | 07-19-18 2:23 PM
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Going to law school is great, because you can have a job where you're so bored at work you get excited by crow necrophilia.


Posted by: Robert Halford | Link to this comment | 07-19-18 2:23 PM
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My son keeps talking about going to law school, but apparently I'm the asshole if I say he shouldn't go.


Posted by: Moby Hick | Link to this comment | 07-19-18 3:10 PM
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I thought the first year of law school was pretty fun. Admittedly it went downhill from there, for the next 20 years or so.


Posted by: DaveLHI | Link to this comment | 07-19-18 4:36 PM
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Oh, law school was peaches and cream. Put me in a position to show off by who can bullshit at the greatest length and I'm happy. But then you have to get a job, which isn't easy these days.


Posted by: LizardBreath | Link to this comment | 07-19-18 5:48 PM
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Put me in a position to show off by who can bullshit at the greatest length and I'm happy.

Renewing my suspicion that you are actually me, or vice versa.

But then you have to get a job, which isn't easy these days.

And worse, once you get it, they expect you to actually do it.


Posted by: DaveLHI | Link to this comment | 07-19-18 5:54 PM
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That's a problem with most jobs.


Posted by: Moby Hick | Link to this comment | 07-19-18 6:02 PM
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OMG, apo, have we taught you nothing?

Hey, *I* didn't go to law school. He still isn't sure he will. But his roommate and his (now ex) girlfriend were both studying for it, and on a lark he took one of the sample tests cold and scored 96th percentile or something absurd. So he's studying this summer to see if he can get a perfect score. He still has his senior year to go. If his grades stay the same, he'll finish a double major in physics and philosophy a few hundredths short of a 4.0.

I don't really feel qualified to offer him academic advice.


Posted by: apostropher | Link to this comment | 07-19-18 6:10 PM
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Billing in 6-minute increments just makes it that much more special.

I gather that law firm jobs are reasonably available for most graduates of elite schools and for the top handful of graduates of other schools, but they're probably going to suck even worse than they did when the Unfogged bar were baby lawyers.


Posted by: DaveLHI | Link to this comment | 07-19-18 6:12 PM
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143: For a very small handful of very smart people, grad school in physics or astronomy can lead to a pretty nice life.


Posted by: DaveLHI | Link to this comment | 07-19-18 6:14 PM
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In Soviet Russia, you got your own hidden city.


Posted by: Moby Hick | Link to this comment | 07-19-18 6:17 PM
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Man, I'm glad I never had any kids. And they're glad not to have had me, I'll wager.


Posted by: Natilo Paennim | Link to this comment | 07-19-18 6:48 PM
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I'm in Sun Valley for a bar thing. They had a speaker in the morning about happiness/well-being -- turns out that Idaho lawyers are way happier than lawyers nationally.


Posted by: CharleyCarp | Link to this comment | 07-19-18 8:24 PM
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That's the nice thing about lawyering. If you say "I'm at a bar thing", people think it's work.


Posted by: Moby Hick | Link to this comment | 07-19-18 8:28 PM
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Bar events attract a wildly disproportionate number of lawyers who like and are proud of their jobs, but the survey referred to above was a wide sample of the bar as a whole.


Posted by: CharleyCarp | Link to this comment | 07-19-18 8:28 PM
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Pro-tip: If a lawyer doesn't follow "bar" with "association", they're just drinking at a bar by themselves. If they do follow "bar" with "association", they're either at a meeting or drinking at a bar with a college.


Posted by: Moby Hick | Link to this comment | 07-19-18 8:29 PM
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149 -- Well, CLE *is* work.

The plan was to bring wife, dog, and bikes, as we did last time we were here. But the dog was injured and had surgery a couple of days ago, and isn't allowed to run or swim. So the wife, dog, and bikes all stayed home.

I had dinner last night with a gal I had a crush on in 1978, so it wasn't a total loss.


Posted by: CharleyCarp | Link to this comment | 07-19-18 8:34 PM
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I can confirm from my brother's family's experience that recurrent infestations are depressingly common in Ireland. Also the buggers are immune to all the stuff that worked when we were kids.


Posted by: emir | Link to this comment | 07-20-18 12:01 AM
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Put me in a position to show off by who can bullshit at the greatest length and I'm happy.

Renewing my suspicion that you are actually me, or vice versa.

Actually I think this shows that both of you are me.


Posted by: ajay | Link to this comment | 07-20-18 1:45 AM
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Physics and philosophy? Did he just want to be really good at analyzing trolley problems? "Actually the dilemma you pose isn't as described because the force required to run over five people is less likely to kill them all vs the single person."


Posted by: SP | Link to this comment | 07-20-18 2:55 AM
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Mechanical engineering: actually it would be very unlikely for a trolley to run away in that way as they have automatic brakes controlled by a dead man's switch

Civil engineering: and you wouldn't have a trolley at the top of a slope; you run them on the flat if at all possible because it's more energy efficient and you have less trouble with traction

Biology: if you keep doing it long enough, fat men will evolve to jump out of the way of trolleys

Politics: it really depends on whether the fat guy is a registered voter

Economics: and how much his family might sue you for


Posted by: ajay | Link to this comment | 07-20-18 3:29 AM
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If he does that well on the LSAT, he can probably get a law degree extremely cheap at Elon Law School or somewhere.


Posted by: Cryptic ned | Link to this comment | 07-20-18 6:07 AM
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Re: physics grad school, even if you don't go on in physics academia, if you make sure to develop a reasonable kit of programming skills you have a sort of generic quantitative certification that with a little work is transferable to a wide range of environments, both evil and not.


Posted by: Tia | Link to this comment | 07-20-18 6:14 AM
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I suppose as long as he avoids grad school in philosophy he should do all right.


Posted by: peep | Link to this comment | 07-20-18 6:23 AM
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6yo: "What does this say?"

Me: "Endangered species."

6yo: "Oh, okay. I thought it said 'integrated spaces'."


Posted by: Lurid keyaki | Link to this comment | 07-20-18 7:21 AM
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I liked it better when the joke was "endangered feces."


Posted by: Moby Hick | Link to this comment | 07-20-18 7:21 AM
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160: Phonics or whole language?


Posted by: peep | Link to this comment | 07-20-18 7:42 AM
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OT: Tapes, though not pee tapes.

Maybe on topic, because Roseanne Roseannadanna also did "presidential erections."


Posted by: Moby Hick | Link to this comment | 07-20-18 8:55 AM
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Wasn't that Emily Litella?


Posted by: Barry Freed | Link to this comment | 07-20-18 9:07 AM
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I don't know. The 70s were so long ago.


Posted by: Moby Hick | Link to this comment | 07-20-18 9:09 AM
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Mostly I remember Jane Curtin looking pissed.


Posted by: Moby Hick | Link to this comment | 07-20-18 9:10 AM
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Wikipedia says you're right, but they are both Gilda Radner.


Posted by: Moby Hick | Link to this comment | 07-20-18 9:11 AM
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Anyway, the main point is that Michael Cohen taped his phone calls with Trump.


Posted by: Moby Hick | Link to this comment | 07-20-18 9:16 AM
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155: He arrived planning to do a physics/math double, because of the substantial overlap in requirements, but took a philosophy class his first semester and I think that's really his primary interest now. He's gone the biophysics concentration in the other.


Posted by: apostropher | Link to this comment | 07-20-18 10:30 AM
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169: My oldest brother is a biophysicist!


Posted by: peep | Link to this comment | 07-20-18 10:40 AM
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Isn't that Biohazard as well?


Posted by: LizardBreath | Link to this comment | 07-20-18 11:11 AM
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I don't recall Biohazard talking about his brothers.


Posted by: Moby Hick | Link to this comment | 07-20-18 11:17 AM
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The real money's in herpetology these days


Posted by: Robert Halford | Link to this comment | 07-20-18 11:20 AM
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Legal herpetology, I mean


Posted by: Robert Halford | Link to this comment | 07-20-18 11:23 AM
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Didn't biophysics used to be the fancy name for studying to be a gym teacher?


Posted by: SP | Link to this comment | 07-20-18 11:26 AM
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Physics and philosophy? Did he just want to be really good at analyzing trolley problems?

I was a double major in Math and Political Philosophy. I used to say that I just really liked abstractions.


Posted by: NickS | Link to this comment | 07-20-18 11:50 AM
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I was a double major in philosophy and economics. I learned that there isn't any philosophy in economics, and there sure as shit isn't any economics in philosophy.

[alternative formulation: Each major taught me the uselessness of the other.]


Posted by: unimaginative | Link to this comment | 07-20-18 12:07 PM
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175, you mean kinesiology?


Posted by: Cryptic ned | Link to this comment | 07-20-18 12:35 PM
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That's designing sex swings.


Posted by: Moby Hick | Link to this comment | 07-20-18 12:47 PM
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173 That and corvid necro/sex-ornithology


Posted by: Barry Freed | Link to this comment | 07-20-18 1:25 PM
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I always wondered how that place stayed in business.


Posted by: Moby Hick | Link to this comment | 07-20-18 1:52 PM
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180 to 179?


Posted by: politicalfootball | Link to this comment | 07-20-18 1:55 PM
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Bookstores like that stay in business by doing business 90% online. But whoa! I love that store!


Posted by: Cryptic ned | Link to this comment | 07-20-18 2:05 PM
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||

Sorry about the lack of posts. I'm offline today.

|>


Posted by: heebie-geebie | Link to this comment | 07-20-18 2:07 PM
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183: Maybe you can buy it.


Posted by: Moby Hick | Link to this comment | 07-20-18 2:11 PM
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178: I feel that I should be offended on my brother's behalf. He could also be described accurately as a neuroscientist, if anybody cares.


Posted by: peep | Link to this comment | 07-20-18 2:13 PM
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181: Bad librarian! We will punish him ourselves! He'll wish he was in regular prison by the time we're done with him! Right, Barry?


Posted by: peep | Link to this comment | 07-20-18 2:16 PM
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Right peep, we will fuck his shit up.


Posted by: Barry Freed | Link to this comment | 07-20-18 3:24 PM
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175: it used to be something very specific, so the biophysicist I knew didn't like being called that. He was a physiologist, I guess.


Posted by: Bostoniangirl | Link to this comment | 07-20-18 3:36 PM
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|| hey I have somehow lost the keys to the blog again (hook me up, neb. then I will post, actually; I have all kind of things to say) or I would otherwise front page myself, but I am in DC/Takoma Park MD, july 30, 31 or august 1. well, also tonight and the next two days also, but that's a little short notice. are we met at busboys and poets last time, in DC I think technically. but republic also looks nice and has oysters. technically this a a month with an r in it so we're not supposed to eat them, but whatever.|>

Alameida in DC alert!!

I can do July 31 or Aug 1. Busboys and Poets (Takoma Park or wherever) is lovely. But I'll go wherever, as long as they'll let me stash my suitcase under the table. ;)


Posted by: Witt | Link to this comment | 07-20-18 5:45 PM
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I used an emoticon. Am I banned? Do we still do that?


Posted by: Witt | Link to this comment | 07-20-18 5:45 PM
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191: Yes. You were banned for 5 minutes. We hope you've learned your lesson!


Posted by: peep | Link to this comment | 07-20-18 6:01 PM
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The bookstore didn't have a "gone to arraignment" sign when I walked by.


Posted by: Moby Hick | Link to this comment | 07-20-18 6:37 PM
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Somebody, I'm not naming names, can make red hearts appear here.


Posted by: Moby Hick | Link to this comment | 07-20-18 6:38 PM
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πŸ’“


Posted by: Moby Hick | Link to this comment | 07-20-18 6:39 PM
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Now I can too. πŸ’©


Posted by: Moby Hick | Link to this comment | 07-20-18 6:39 PM
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πŸ• 🐈 🎏 🌲


Posted by: Moby Hick | Link to this comment | 07-20-18 6:40 PM
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Hey, new skill.


Posted by: Moby Hick | Link to this comment | 07-20-18 6:41 PM
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πŸ†


Posted by: Moby Hick | Link to this comment | 07-20-18 6:41 PM
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How come the kids say πŸ† instead of πŸ₯• or 🍌?


Posted by: Moby Hick | Link to this comment | 07-20-18 7:01 PM
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πŸ” 🏠 πŸ‡ πŸ„ πŸ¦†


Posted by: Moby Hick | Link to this comment | 07-20-18 7:08 PM
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I'm unaccountably popular.


Posted by: πŸ† | Link to this comment | 07-20-18 7:08 PM
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πŸ¦πŸ†β˜ οΈ
🐭🐭🐭🐭🐭


Posted by: πŸ† | Link to this comment | 07-20-18 7:21 PM
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Bird penis skull mouse^5?


Posted by: Moby Hick | Link to this comment | 07-20-18 7:22 PM
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I'm worried that I'll start my new job where I'll probably be unable to comment so much and then nobody will read every comment to see if it can serve as a straight line for a horrible joke. Eventually, people will start writing comments without trying to make it harder for me to make a cock joke. The resulting laxity will make people's minds go soft and Trump will be reelected.


Posted by: Moby Hick | Link to this comment | 07-20-18 7:36 PM
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||
I am at an Air Bnb that has not provided bed linens. There was no warning ahead of time as to lack of bed linens. That's unusual, right?
|>


Posted by: J, Robot | Link to this comment | 07-20-18 8:00 PM
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Yeah that's super weird. Maybe just a mixup with the cleaners? They're not in the drier?


Posted by: Unfoggetarian: β€œPause endlessly, then go in” (9) | Link to this comment | 07-20-18 8:02 PM
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Is today a Jewish thing? Seen to be more ultra Orthodox walking around late.


Posted by: Moby Hick | Link to this comment | 07-20-18 8:27 PM
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No sheets anywhere in the house, though there are blankets on the bed. Guess we'll just have to deal with it tonight. Yuck.


Posted by: J, Robot | Link to this comment | 07-20-18 8:33 PM
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Tish'a b'Av. We praise God for creating the apostrophe.


Posted by: unimaginative | Link to this comment | 07-20-18 8:36 PM
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Eggplant is great. He should comment more.


Posted by: Mossy Character | Link to this comment | 07-20-18 8:36 PM
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206: I am a sometime Airbnb user and have never heard of that. My sympathies. Can you get hold of the host? If not, be sure to write an appropriate review...


Posted by: Kreskin | Link to this comment | 07-20-18 9:18 PM
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πŸπŸ›΅πŸπŸ›΅


Posted by: Natilo Paennim 🏴🏴🏴 | Link to this comment | 07-21-18 5:25 AM
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I feel like anarchism and Unicode support are incompatible aspirations.


Posted by: Mossy Character | Link to this comment | 07-21-18 5:35 AM
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Natilo joining ISIL was one 2018 twist I really wasn't expecting.


Posted by: CharleyCarp | Link to this comment | 07-21-18 6:23 AM
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Especially since he evidently realizes they're on their last lap.


Posted by: Mossy Character | Link to this comment | 07-21-18 6:28 AM
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Alameida in DC alert!!

I would gladly make the drive for this, but I'll be in Atlanta (because what better time than August to go to Atlanta for two weeks).


Posted by: Stanley | Link to this comment | 07-21-18 7:36 AM
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Late to the party as always, my kids had lice three times and they gave it to me! I never had it growing up--I blame Ohio weather and not enough killing freezes. I have also heard the life resurgence is due to selfies (putting heads together). Anyhoo, my husband was also damn useless at nit picking the kids and wouldn't do me either. My mother also refused to nit comb my hair, and I had to do it myself. Thank god for pharmaceutical grade malathion! It kills the bugs and some of the nits. It's $100 for a bottle but I'm willing to go super nuclear on this stuff. Lice suck!


Posted by: Miranda | Link to this comment | 07-21-18 7:43 PM
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OT: My wife came home from the store with coconut water. Should I be afraid?


Posted by: Moby Hick | Link to this comment | 07-22-18 6:54 AM
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Yes.


Posted by: Mossy Character | Link to this comment | 07-22-18 7:13 AM
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Coconut water is alleged to be some miracle hangover cure, but it makes me retch like I'm about to vomit. Especially if there's chunks of coconut in there. Blech.


Posted by: Stanley | Link to this comment | 07-22-18 8:17 AM
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I wasn't going to drink it myself.


Posted by: Moby Hick | Link to this comment | 07-22-18 8:32 AM
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Which is worse, the coconut or the banana?


Posted by: foolishmortal | Link to this comment | 07-22-18 10:05 AM
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Banana water? That's more of a Trump thing.


Posted by: Moby Hick | Link to this comment | 07-22-18 10:36 AM
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||

London or London adjacent people, there are plans to meet up with AWB (who is in London) on Wednesday evening. Probably somewhere in or around Bloomsbury.

Maybe a front page poster can stick something up?

>


Posted by: nattarGcM ttaM | Link to this comment | 07-22-18 11:25 AM
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OT: I think they're saying that we're assholes. I'm reserving judgement.


Posted by: Moby Hick | Link to this comment | 07-22-18 12:57 PM
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Holding yourself aloof, as it were.


Posted by: Mossy Character | Link to this comment | 07-22-18 1:17 PM
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I could make myself marginally presentable and walk downstairs and across the street to buy more shaving cream. Or I could be lazy and try using dishwashing liquid instead.


Posted by: Mossy Character | Link to this comment | 07-22-18 1:43 PM
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Wait? Why not just bath soap?


Posted by: Moby Hick | Link to this comment | 07-22-18 2:04 PM
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On topic because coconuts are pictured on the label, though the product itself lacks any discernible coconutish qualities.


Posted by: Mossy Character | Link to this comment | 07-22-18 2:19 PM
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Because the dishwasher is already conveniently gelatinatinized. It worked a lot better than bath soap. Possibly better than actual shaving cream, in fact, which is some late-capitalist bullshit. Anyway, blessed are the slothful.


Posted by: Mossy Character | Link to this comment | 07-22-18 2:22 PM
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225: done and done. Allow me to suggest as a conversation topic: "What is brown sauce, and why is it on so many tables in the UK and Ireland?"


Posted by: Stanley | Link to this comment | 07-22-18 2:43 PM
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Holding forks left handed is just messier.


Posted by: CharleyCarp | Link to this comment | 07-22-18 3:06 PM
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I do that even since my study abroad. Eating is so much faster without that bullshit hand-switching crap.


Posted by: Moby Hick | Link to this comment | 07-22-18 3:34 PM
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Alameida in DC alert!!

7/31 probably, can make 8/1.


Posted by: lw | Link to this comment | 07-22-18 5:18 PM
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231 life hack


Posted by: Barry Freed | Link to this comment | 07-22-18 7:00 PM
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I've always just used bathsoap for shaving cream if I didn't have any. And I stopped taking shaving cream when I travel. I just lather the soap really well and it works O.K. I should clarify that I don't have a very heavy beard.


Posted by: Moby Hick | Link to this comment | 07-23-18 4:13 AM
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Some of us are more barbarous than others. I've used soap before in a pinch and it worked, but not well.


Posted by: Mossy Character | Link to this comment | 07-23-18 5:26 AM
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I've tried that shaving oil stuff because it's supposed to save water but I can't think of anything I'd do with the water that would be worth the discomfort of shaving with shaving oil, so now I just use soap and water.


Posted by: ajay | Link to this comment | 07-23-18 5:27 AM
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Presumably one would need soap and water to wash the oil off anyway?


Posted by: Mossy Character | Link to this comment | 07-23-18 5:29 AM
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re: 239

The one benefit of shaving oil, is you can see what you are shaving. For example, if you have a beard, and are only shaving your neck and cheeks, for example, or are neatening the edges.*

I still definitely prefer shaving soap, but I have occasionally used oil for that.

* not the full Noel Edmunds monty. Just, "less like Grizzly Adams".


Posted by: nattarGcM ttaM | Link to this comment | 07-23-18 5:42 AM
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