Just be sure to cover the crib so that the dog doesn't sleep on the baby's face.

Leash him up in front of a screen playing the "My Buddy and Me" commercials on an endless loop until you break his spirit.

Also, is it possible he's been mooching food from somebody else? Maybe he's showing up at somebody's house and getting bacon or something worth waiting for.

3: Doubtful, but anything's possible. Maybe he's scoping out a better family to live with. I get it.

What if, somehow, a fox and a dog could have pups (kits?) together and they could talk to each other and go on adventures?

I don't have a dog, but I would stop letting him go off-leash for a while?

And then reintroduce it on a very short time length, paired w a treat when he comes correct?

If he gets really bad diarrhea when you stop letting him go off leash, that means he was scoring opioids while away and you've put him into withdrawal.

Anyway, they say that over time, dogs become more like their owners.

Can you just leave him in the woods? I'm thinking dogs like food and you give him food, so he'll find his own way back.

I think the "woods" sound too narrow and close to other houses for that. At least around here, I think people would call animal control over an unleashed dog wandering. Or think it was abandoned and try to "rescue" it. Or steal it for medical research.

Retrain him to return, first on a long leash bring him back and give food, then let him off short distances and give him food for coming back and gradually increase the range over time.
When the baby comes bring back a baby hat or some article of clothing from the hospital before the baby comes home and let the dog get used to the smell. Also if the dog eats the article you should probably not leave him alone with the baby.

Jonah Salk was a Labrador Retriever.

MY ASSHOLE IS A DOG

Anyway, they say that over time, dogs become more like their owners.

Lots of bark puns, I bet.

Assuming a dog with that name is male, I'm guessing there is a dog in heat somewhere nearby he's stalking.

Are we still allowed to say "a bitch in heat"?

Can you just leave him in the woods?

Moby's right in 10. I'm worried about my neighbors thinking he's abandoned. Also worried that Buddy will get disoriented and end up lost or struck by a train, especially if he wanders across the tracks.

11 seems like sound advice all around. (We've heard the baby-hat thing from several people, including hospital staff. So that's definitely the plan.)

16: You can't put it in your business card anymore.

This seems lousy, but I think you need to stop letting him off leash in the wooded area, and combine that with a lot more active "come when you're called" training. That is, only let him off leash when you're not in that 'right behind the house' area and have a fistful of cut up hotdogs or whatever to reward him with if he comes back immediately when you call him. Once you've got him being super responsive someplace else, then maybe try him off leash behind your house, but with you right there and calling him back for treats a lot.

From there, see how it's going and if you can fade the treats some and still keep him responsive. But a dog that's running off out of control in a residential neighborhood isn't safe for the dog and and might frighten people -- you have to make that stop.

(I know, imminent new baby and all, you almost certainly don't have time or money. But if you did, this would plausibly be a great time for an obedience class.)

Oh, duh. Or pretty much exactly what SP said.

16: heteronormativist.

Do vegetarians use meat to train dogs?

Probably not, but Fistful of Hotdogs could easily be a straight-edge vegan punk band name.

5: I don't think any rule in basketball prohibits this.

If the dog is also sleeping with Donald Sterling, the dog can't bring the fox to a game.

That was me.

Just for the record, SP is getting all the credit for saying what I said in 6. I just did it with gentle feminine maybe-I'm-wrong question marks at the end, instead of masculine authoritative periods.

So noted.

GOOD START. NOW ACCUSE HIM OF ANTI-SEMITISM.

You can have the credit for the leash training as long as I get credit for the avoiding-baby-eating.

AND THERE'S THE BLOOD LIBEL RIGHT THERE. LEAN IN SISTER.

It costs $500 to get Brett Farve to say something anti-Semitic, but only $99 for Andy Dick. This is what I learned from the news today.

I'm not sure if that means Andy Dick is 1/5th of a Farve in terms of fame or if he's like 1/20th, but five times more ethical.

COST-EFFECTIVE EITHER WAY.

A bargain at twice the price.

This is on topic because it means Stanley can just pay Brett Farve to call his dog back.

Well played.

32, 33, 36: And how much will it cost me to get you to spell my name correctly?

$7.45.

Is Buddy chipped? Does he wear a collar with a license tag or a "My Name is Buddy"-type tag?

All the advice seems right to me. One thing about the fox, though. If it has kits ("juvenile fox offspring") Buddy might go all predator on them. We've had a lot of trouble with that in local conservation areas, to the extent that people are trying to get dogs banned from them.

Our dog (whom we shall call Buddy)

Even the dogs have pseudonyms around here. Can't be too careful!

Wait, you mean OPINIONATED SHERYL SANDBERG isn't really her? Fake Jews!

So we're not really eating babies here?

SO YOU ADMIT REAL JEWS DO EAT BABIES?

More like opinionated medieval standpiping, amirite?

Hey! I have relatively recent experience with a difficult dog and a baby. We did nothing effective and a couple years later, the problem subsided.

I definitely believe the dog is picking up on the changes in the household. Our dog became a lot more protective, which looks scary on a 100lb dog. Frankly, when my partner took an SSRI for anxiety, the dog acted better in complete parallel with my partner's mood.

The problem is that all the effective things took time and consistency from us, and we never managed that. But, a few years later, the dog is older and we are calmer and now he's not difficult even. My suggestion will go in a completely different direction from all the ones that require effort from you.

1. Maybe CBD oil, which you can get at the pet food store. That may be calming.

2. Accept that you will have a moderately neglected dog in the next few months and he will act out.

3. Pay someone to throw balls for him or tire him out occasionally.

Andy Dick is probably looking for work.

23: And their first album is One-Handed Typing.

First you must properly understand your dog's motives. Can you attach a GoPro to his collar? Or perhaps follow him from a respectful distance with a quadcopter? It would be a shame to keep him on a short leash if he's, say, trying his best to support a second family.