I don't even have a scavenger, but we did have somebody who would feed the birds by dumpling several bags of bread in the parking lot of local stores. I saw them do this once. They didn't even get out of the car, but just opened the bags and flung the bread. I think the cops caught them finally. The store had a big sign about not feeding the birds and it was really creepy to wait for the bus with hundreds of gulls sitting on the utility lines.
Fortunately, Pennsylvania wildlife is more towards the cuddly end of the spectrum than Florida wildlife.
I really need to stop extending and adding to the OP now that there are comments.
Aren't you supposed to be re-reading my post?
It's not quite the same thing as vultures eating a toddler, but we have eagles and hawks that eat people's pets (cats, small dogs). If a hawk can eat a miniature terrier, then a large vulture could probably eat a baby or two. That's why car seats should be used in a convertible even when parked.
If a large vulture can scavenge a dead raccoon, then a hawk can definitely scavenge a dead family of four who were just living peacefully in West Palm Beach in their gold-plated house made out of hundred dollar bills.
I get that Palm Beach is very literally America's strategic rich asshole reserve, but isn't West Palm Beach different?
I get Palm Beach, Palm Springs, and the West versions of both all mixed up in my head. The real rich assholes are the friends we made along the way.
Have you seen a grown vulture up close? They could totally eat a toddler.
I used to subscribe to Rich Asshole Quarterly, but quality really declined since they started hiring so many immigrants.
On a more serious note, my best-value subscription is to my local DNA Info successor: https://blockclubchicago.org/
The experience I'm thinking of in particular was at a birdshow, where such a vulture looked straight at a toddler in the front row and was very definitely interested. It wobbled its hideous neck and hissed at her.
Maybe she said something offensive?
The birdshow place said sometimes its vultures fly to a nearby golf estate and rip up seats on golfcarts. Maybe vultures basically just don't like rich assholes.
Millennials are killing golf, but it's taking them too long because they were raised to be too nice. Let's see if the vultures can't do it quicker.
I would guess that the helium balloons work like barrage balloons - vultures might be wary of flying or landing in among them.
The old lady feeding the alligators is definitely from a Gary Larson cartoon.
Obligatory Finnemore: Vulture Public Relations https://youtu.be/dadO5AQTohE
When I was a kid I wanted vultures. A big sinister dead tree with a bunch of vultures nesting in it. Turns out I could have made a fortune in real-estate manipulation. Follow your dreams, kids.
Have you seen a grown vulture up close? They could totally eat a toddler.
Yes, I see them literally daily.
I guess it matters whether it's a turkey vulture or a black vulture:
Turkey Vultures feed almost entirely on carrion and human garbage. Although on rare occasions Turkey Vultures catch live prey, including young or sick birds and mammals, Black Vultures kill live prey more frequently, and accounts of Turkey Vultures eating live prey often involve mistakenly identified Black Vultures.
What's the best value of all your journalistic subscriptions?
I had a subscription to N+1, but I let it lapse a few years ago. I recently subscribed to The Atlantic when they put most of their stuff behind a paywall.
It seems like more and more sites are going back to a subscription based business model. I hope the trend continues. It's clear by now that sites that depend on ads inevitably default to trolling, since that's the easiest and most reliable way to generate clicks.
I don't have any vulture stories, but I did see bald eagles close up last year on the Eastern Shore. They're big.
I had no idea Texas was full of vultures.
I guess the question is have you seen a Cape vulture? Because your New World vultures frankly look quite puny by comparison.
22: We called them buzzards growing up, then at some point we learned they were in fact turkey vultures.
In which case what the rich assholes in Florida afraid of? I guess they're puny too.
Whenever I hear the word 'vulture' I reach for my revolver.
The neck on this cape vulture looks insane, like it could unspool for meters and chase you, without ever moving a wing or foot.
27: Now picture that motherfucker eyeing Rascal. (Ace? Guam? The youngest one.)
It really looks like it's wearing a cape.
I'm confused by the two fleshy knobs by its neck. They look even stranger in photo here. (Scroll down.) It almost looks like it's laying eggs through its shoulders.
A lot of birds have fleshy knobs in odd places.
27 Canada geese are killing golf because they shit all over the fairways
33: I think that's a Jimmy Buffet song.
Oh, I've got knobs on low places,
where the vomit flows and the feces chases
my blues away.
23: condors probably take the New World average up a bit. But seriously, feeding wildlife like this has got to involve mental illness of some kind, similar to a hoarding disorder. It's more than just stubbornness.
best value subscription unfogged obv.!
42: No, it's a brilliant strategy for getting rid of the bodies.
43: For sure! And there's a special offer going just for today! 50% off!
So we only need to send Standpipe $250 this year?
46: You get the Frequent Commenter Discount -- only $200!
Oh, and I cannot stop laughing at this glorious sentence:
His advice: Get a federal permit to kill one of the vultures, then hang it in a tree or other spot where other vultures can see it for miles around.
That'll show them.
Haven't read the comments yet, but West Palm is definitely different than Palm Beach (or "The Island" as everyone calls it). These whiners have their vacation home in a huge, exclusive gated community that's on the outskirts of WPB, if I remember correctly. I think one of my high school friends lived there. I'm from a suburb that's a little north. The Palm Beach Post is the main local paper for the county.
Balloons: I think there's a folk wisdom to put objects up right on a window (or in this case screen) so birds don't just try to fly through it?
All the other links in the OP appear to be repackagings of the information in the Palm Beach Post article, so I think heebie is right that the sourcing on this is a little thin.
22: they prefer the term "oilmen"
clearly the best solution is to burn the entire neighborhood to the ground; after the initial feast, the vultures will leave seeking greener pastures.
44: I thought that was a pig farm?
Wild turkeys are somewhat less gross, but they do poop on things, and now and then they lay partly developed eggs, which are definitely pretty disgusting. They are not nearly the problem that deer are, though.
Balloons: I think there's a folk wisdom to put objects up right on a window (or in this case screen) so birds don't just try to fly through it?
This reminds me of how outdoor restaurants hang plastic bags of water from eaves or rafters to ward off mosquitoes.
People used to put plastic bottles of water in their lawn because it was supposed to make dogs not want to shit there. I think people have mostly decided either that it didn't work or that dog shit looks better than old plastic bottles.
48: this advice also depends on the assumption that a dead decaying vulture is more fun to be around than several live vultures, an assumption which I would like to see explored in a little more depth.
I read it initially as "get a federal permit, then hang it in the tree..." When the vultures come, jab your finger in its direction and shout harshly "Hey, you vulture fucks, read it and weep!"
Hang on. I'm sure live vultures prefer dead decaying vultures most of the time
A good point. This might well backfire spectacularly.
I like my women like I like my vultures. Hanging around in large groups enjoying each other's company.
I like my vultures like I like my women. Shameless and raucous.
64: don't forget the defensive vomiting.
66: when threatened! When all reasonable efforts have failed!
66: when threatened! When all reasonable efforts have failed!
I like my vultures like I like my women: fond of venison and unafraid of puking.
I like my vultures like I like my women, protected by federal law.
I like my vultures like I like my women: revered by ancient Middle Eastern religions.
I'm sure live vultures prefer dead decaying vultures most of the time
You'd think, but:
"A black-headed vulture will not go within eyesight of its own dead, which is bizarre. They eat roadkill but if they see their own, they will not go near it," Smith said.
This particular species of vulture seems to have very peculiar behavior even by vulture standards.
"Oh look, there's a dead racoon. Dinner!"
"Oh look, there's a dead vulture. Shit, whatever got that one might get me! I'm out of here!"
I see that TMP is spelling "Kiev" as "Kyiv". Is that a new thing? On topic because I'm a subscriber.
It's the Ukrainian pronunciation rather than the Russian. Seems to be increasingly standard in US reporting.
Seems reasonable, but it's going to take some getting used to
Like when I had to switch from saying "Peloponnese" to "Morea."
Birds, like cats, just sort of make me feel uncomfortable. It's like they're watching and waiting for you to die, before moving in for the kill.
I'm a dog person. My dog Lucas would lay down his life for me, though I sincerely hope it never comes to that. He's a friend and companion, which I can't even imagine ever saying about a cat, never mind a damn bird.
If you've died, they can't go in for the kill.
Unless you've become a zombie, in which case I think they're justified.
That's the third person today in a little bo peep costume.
If you've been killed, you become a kill, for which it is possible to go in.
How do four people fit in one costume?
My dog Lucas would lay down his life for me...
Give me a break! I've only got nine of them.
He's a friend and companion
So am I, but only up to a point.
