It's sunny this morning! Just barely above freezing, but sunny at least.
I thought it was Always Sunny in Pittsburgh?
But it is sunny here this morning as well.
https://www.bloomberg.com/news/features/2020-05-11/all-the-covid-19-symptoms-you-didn-t-know-about?cmpid=BBD051220_CORONAVIRUS
USA (lower 48) mean "cloudy day*" map. (You can step through the individual months as well.)
*Using NOAA definition of greater than 80% sky cover during the daytime hours:
Cloudiness - Mean Number of Days - Clear (CL), Partly Cloudy (PC), Cloudy (CD)
This table shows the mean number of days per category of cloudiness. The categories are determined for daylight hours only. Clear denotes zero to 3/10 average sky cover. Partly cloudy denotes 4/10 to 7/10 average sky cover. Cloudy denotes 8/10 to 10/10 average sky cover.
And that map is why Michigan can fuck off and die.
Although it doesn't appear to be the worst, according to that map. I distinctly remember being told that Michigan is the cloudiest state in the union.
Goddamn I found those relentless low clouds depressing. That was the thing, to me: it wasn't just cloudy days, but the sense that the cloud cover was exceedingly low, so that when you were outside, you were still kind of trapped and sad-feeling by the low ceiling.
Oooh! And how the grey smudge sucked all the colors out of the world! For months on end. Good times. And yet there wasn't actually much snow. Just persistent grey sludge and brown ground, and grit over everything.
1,526 new cases here today. Wheeeeeee!
A slope is just a plateau, rotated a bit.
Covid toes are apparently being seen more and more in children and young people. Weird. That virus has something for everyone.
We're just around the corner from 1% of the population here having COVID-19.
https://www.dw.com/en/child-marriage-on-the-rise-in-yemen/a-53390598
Moses supposes his toes are roses,
But Moses supposes erroneously.
Nobody's toeses are roses,
And Covid infects tissues variously.
I just realized that one possibility for the summer day camp my kid is signed up for is that (a) they open but (b) don't run the bus that was the main reason we signed up for it, so I have to spend 2 hours a day driving. To be clear, that would be an improvement on his not getting out of the house at all, but that would be a maddening amount of driving.
I didn't understand the assignment.
We have a whole lot of water falling from the sky right now. Rivers etc were already pretty high.
FB memories had a picture of my nephew and his gal who visited a few years back. We spent an afternoon during their visit filling sandbags along with dozens of volunteers down near where folks have built on the floodplain.
Temps in the low 40s here in the valley, so with any luck this is snow rather than rain in the mountains.
Amazon is being unusually solicitous lately. Last week my coffee maker died (it's tragic; I've been reduced to heating a kettle of water on the stove like some kind of barbarian) and I ordered a replacement that was estimated to arrive today. Yesterday Amazon emailed an abject apology for the fact that it wouldn't arrive that day but today (when it was supposed to in the first place). This morning there was another email assuring me that it was totally for sure going to be delivered today.
I don't recall them ever acting like this before.
The weather has been cool here also, but not so much rain. It feels like fall this week. I'm glad that I didn't switch from heat to AC a couple of weeks ago. It's easy to switch back, but it makes me feel like I've done the seasons wrong.
After another chunk of morning parent-managed-schooling, though, the driving might be preferable to the staredowns and arguments about whether completing one side of the two-sided worksheet qualifies for a sticker on the sticker chart. "Two-sided worksheets are unfair! I should get two stickers for doing them."
I haven't been down to the river for a while, and I see that it's been going down the last few days: https://waterdata.usgs.gov/nwis/uv?site_no=12353000 Man, that 2018 was something else.
30-31: Yeah, I think you've got to give up the sticker on that one. But your counter-offer needs to be, yes, you get two stickers, but only when both sides are complete.
First you get the worksheets, then you get the stickers, then you get the women.
What you should do is cut a sticker in half and they get the first half of the sticker for the front of the sheet and the second half of the sticker for the back.
After a while you start just giving them half the sticker for both sides, and explain to them that the sticker rations have been cut. If they complain, mumble something about job creators.
The real side of the worksheet will decline its share of the sticker, and that's how you know.
But your counter-offer needs to be , yes, you get two stickers, but only when both sides are complete. nothing. Not even the sticker for completing the second side of the worksheet, which I would be obliged if you would stick on personally.
After a while you start just giving them half the sticker for both sides, and explain to them that the sticker rations have been cut increased from last year's ration of one quarter of a sticker per worksheet. Check the Times archive, you'll see it's there.
We have several islands which are detaching from various parts of the country near lakes
Excluding the day we put our cat to sleep, it's just been constant sun here. It was so binary: before lockdown, overcast every day, usually with rain for an hour or so. After lockdown, constant sun and blue skies. I guess today's a bit of an exception, there's those scattered clouds like in the Simpsons intro. Just not what I expected of here at all.
I get Heebie's low clouds thing. On the plus side, the trees are just the right height.
40: Before calving, it really should be called a floating peninsula.
Twist it into a mobius strip and say, "How about that, smart guy?"
We're still fine. We set up the store for future spaced-out shopping and shipping on Saturday; yesterday was her first day back with an employee. A regular dropped off masks for the staff, but her day was a slow sales day. (Her retail peers report about 20% of normal sales while in curbside mode, which we beat... but there wasn't anything like the pent-up surge we'd been hoping for.)
Still doing fine here. Last week was quite warm so we turned off the heat, but this week's been a lot cooler so we turned it back on.
It bothers me to do that, because apparently in my mind we have a coal-fired boiler or something.
44.1 AND 44.2 ARE MORE PROOF THAT COVID-19 AND GLOBAL WARMING ARE DEEP-STATE HOAXES!
Has anyone else noticed that the comments link in the Unfogged archive pages has borked text? I get "<$ΜΤEntryCommentCount$> Comments" as the link text. It looks fine on the main page.
Huh. It's only the first three archive pages for me.
I need to do a few in person (but suitably distanced) meetings. I realized I have the option of about 45 minutes on a plane or 3 hours in a car, and I'm going to drive. It would have been extremely difficult to convince me this made sense pre covid.
That would have made sense to me all along. By the time you get to the airport and through security, the time is about the same.
50: I should have been more specific, but it's a weird trip. Suffice to say the total travel time by car each way is at least 2 hours more by car.
52: Not necessarily.
Kevin Drum would argue for flying: https://www.motherjones.com/kevin-drum/2020/05/driving-vs-flying-in-the-covid-19-era/
Is nonessential interstate travel going to be possible or reasonable before the end of the year? Drum argues that flying is less likely to kill me than driving, but I want the overall pandemic-ethics score. How, when, etc.
IANAEconBlogger but I think you (and Europe, and all countries of any size) are clearly destined for rolling regional outbreaks, lockdowns and quarantines. So, no.
You still can't take the train from Pittsburgh to Philadelphia.
You can take a train from Pittsburgh to Lincoln. Only $360 round trip if you are willing to go coach for a trip that takes 24 hours each way.
Amtrak is the most anti-Panglossian institution imaginable.
If you were going, say, WA-FA you could do your whole quarantine en route.
Isn't a pangloss the animal that spread COVID from bats to humans?
Just back from another long early morning (4:20 am this time) walk with my friend. Friday we plan to walk the corniche again.
INNOCENT UNTIL PROVEN GUILTY!
62 A pangloss is the animal in charge of making sure the COVID continues to spread.
I'm sorry I accused you of having had sex with the bat.
YOU KNOW THAT YOU WOULD HAVE DONE THE SAME!!!
22: huzzah! we watched this movie just last week to universal acclaim.
this morning it was so stormy and dark that I actually got up at 7, rather than my normal time of 11. because what the fuck do I have to do other than play animal crossing. we got two more switches (lite) and the girls and I have been playing continuously since it came out. right now I'm waiting for someone to send me a dodo code to go to their island, because the star-owl celeste is there giving out diy recipes and there is also a meteor shower so you can wish on shooting stars and get valuable star fragments which wash up on your beach the next day, a service for which I will tip her 50,000 bells. and this morning I made a killing selling turnips to baby tanuki for a five-fold profit. this all makes lots of sense. we can't go out during the day because it is always sunny and ten billion degrees, so we are walking at night, and slowly becoming pale as vampires. last night I took photos to post on insta of girl x in her beautiful prom dress, which she will probably never wear, and girl y is developing a toothache hatred for chinese instruction via zoom. all in one apartment and unable to go out we are slowly going mad, sustained in part by fantasies that we are at the home of other family members in west virginia or wainscot. on the plus side narnia held community transmissions to 7 yesterday. on the somewhat minus side this has been achieved by locking everything down like a prison. on the very minus side, the disease is racing like fire through the cramped foreign worker dormitories and they had like 800 there. I hope everyone is doing well and if you have a yard you should walk around in it in a spirit of revelry. if you just have an apartment I very strongly recommend animal crossing; I've played about 300 hours and am still enjoying very well. thus endeth the story.
alameida!
I wish I had a Nintendo now.
I'm still just fine! Now with guitar. Only arrived yesterday so have not done anything other than scare the bejezus out of the cats.
dalriata, don't get used to this weather. It's utterly bizarre and not normal at all, like the rest of this...
alameida! I'd been wondering if you were OK in all this.
We don't have a yard, but are allowed to wander the streets in search of exercise and Pokemon.
Did everybody else know that somebody shot up the Cuban embassy in Washington? It was two weeks ago. Nobody was hit, but that seems like the kind of thing that would make the news and I missed it.
That big bear came back, and broke my rail fence climbing over to get to the neighbor's trash can (still stored outside).
I only just found out that a few months after Kent State, the national guard fired 100 rounds at protesters *who were sheltering in a dorm* at a HBCU in Mississippi, killing two.
You need to drop a dime on your neighbor. Or yell at them.
Your fence aside, a fed bear is a dead bear.
I've still never seen a non-caged bear up close. I've seen a few grizzly bears at a great distance (Yellowstone). My son saw a bear near his grandparents' house, but I wasn't there. Grandpa told him it was Bigfoot.
I knew about that, but I'm not sure what I'm supposed to do about it.
76 to 74. Moby! Wear something different next time unless you want to get yourself tranqed or worse!
1,390 new cases today. We're a day away from 1% of the population here having active cases.
Am catching up after a few days in a cabin with no cell reception and no internet, and enjoyed the thread on how we can re-open the economy given unrealistic assumptions (I just know there is a clever "assume a can opener" punch line in there somewhere, which would do double duty for an unbearable trash can problem) - which thread then evolved into bread being kneaded or stretched, and peanut butter mixed on the veldt, and battery chickens, which is the content I come here for.
Cryptic Ned, curtain rods: I just use copper pipe, which can be cut to any size you like and cost a lot less.
In this thread, the sticker discussion is wonderful, and also...alameida!!
There was a bear in our cul-de-sac yesterday. I could see it from my desk. It was only there briefly before someone honked at it and it ran off.
When will this plague of honking at innocent (ursine) passersby come to an end?
Senator Burr got served a search warrant. This reassures me greatly.
||
Bleg: If anyone has WSJ access, I'd be grateful for a copy of this article.
|>
Sent. The amazing thing is I can still log in using a subscription from (redacted). They haven't changed the password in 20+ years.
I am grateful for the woeful infosec of (redacted) and the flexible morality of its former (redacted).
hi all! I nobly went for a walk in the day, and I can't actually remember the last time I was outside in the sunlight. no bears, though, so that's chill. now contemplating buying in-game money (both types) with real money. hmmm. also, saw two people exercising in the park with no masks on. bold given that narnians will drop a dime on you with no compunction.
Things are all fine here. People are basically not social distancing any more, in lots of ways, though. Thanks Boris!
There's a nature reserve across the canal from us where we go to walk and play football (the three of us, not with a larger group). There's a regular multi-family football game happening there now, most days.
That's probably OK. How much time, during the average football match, do you actually spend within 2m of how many other people? Plus it's outdoors - there are almost no reported events of disease spread happening outdoors. It's offices, restaurants, bars, funerals, clubs, public transport - enclosed spaces where people spend a lot of time close to other people.
The time spent in proximity in football is often face-to-face while running in opposite directions and breathing hard, hundreds of times per match (for full teams and times, granted). Plus ball handling and brow-wiping and shoutinh. It isn't the same as strolling in a park or whatever.
re: 104
These are kids, they are literally wrestling each other while tackling. Lots of physical contact. That said, most of them, or many of them, are going to be back in school with each other in about 3 weeks, I suppose.
Survived Costco trip yesterday although technically I guess I can't say that until 14 days have passed. Filled 3 carts but got busted for trying to buy two boxes of frozen pizza when the limit was one. No limit on flour (got 100lb) and there was plenty of meat (limit 3, but we don't eat it anyway). There were some funny signs on other items- "Ribs- no limits!"
I'd like to just take a moment here to note that the richest country in the history of the world is rationing food in peacetime. MAGA!
1,733 new cases reported here today.
Apologies. The second richest etc.
I'm hoping we'll be out of the top ten before I leave office.
We suck, but I think "families can only buy one frozen pizza at Costco and need to diversify their shopping choices among different kinds of meat" may be the literal least of our problems. That people who produce and distribute our food cannot do it safely, that many people especially during this pandemic do not have enough to eat and are forced into ad hoc and burdensome means of avoiding starvation, and that nutrition sucks and the resulting health problems especially during this pandemic shorten lives and reduce quality of life are all bigger food-related things to hate about America.
Various MA school districts, depending on metrics of income, are giving all families in certain schools/districts $400/kid for meals that would normally have been provided at schools. Some schools in our district (I don't think ours) but all Boston public school families. It's distributed as an EBT card which will be an interesting experience as a lot of higher income people are about to find out how draconian and stupid the EBT rules are. Some people have said, "Oh, I don't need the money, I'll donate it to a family with more need"- nope, that's illegal. "I'll just buy food for other people or to donate"- maybe illegal although they probably can't catch you. That's on top of the byzantine prepared/raw food rules and complications when you try to pay for invalid things with the card.
I hope if their kids don't need it, they spend it on alcohol. It's what the Founding Fathers would have wanted.
You guys, I want a gimlet so fucking much.
Only unprepared alcohol can be purchased with EBT, anything pre-mixed is illegal.
If I had some gin, I could make a gimlet, if I had some lime juice.
Just back from another long early morning (4:20 am this time) walk with my friend. Friday we plan to walk the corniche again.
Barry, I just wanted to mention that I've feel better when I see you post about your early morning walks. It sounds like things have been scary for you (and remain so), and I'm glad that's become a bit of a routine.
If I had some gin, I could make a gimlet, if I had some lime juice.
You could also make this if you had some rhubarb.
That doesn't look like something I'd drink. I should make myself a Moscow Mule, but I don't have vodka and ginger beer either.
You can buy freeze dried crystallized lime powder that lasts on the shelf forever so you don't need to maintain a fresh supply of limes. Of course you can probably buy limes with EBT but not the lime extract.
I could not use the limes I already did not have to make the gimlets.
You could probably buy Rose's lime juice if you have no taste at all.
118 Thanks Nick! I'm up at 3:20 am tomorrow so I can hit the road at 4.
Had an upsetting whatsapp texting with my Mom. She texted me a tweet from that moronic barstoolsports guy. They're in full on Fox News open the country Fauci wasn't elected mode. I let her have it with facts and then when she came back with let's just respect each other's opinions and facts I told her no, I don't have to respect incorrect facts or misguided opinions but I love and respect you, Mom. This is why I left my family whatsapp group.
AIHGMHB blocking my sister on everything was a major quality-of-life-boosting decision.
He's probably never even met your sister.
I muted my mom and dad once. I'm not going to block them though. This is why I'm not on the book of face.
Just the one time she sneakily got married and snuck through the filters with a different name. Unpleasant morning inbox that one. But easily remedied.
We're hanging on. The littlest one is on the brink of walking--holds my two fingers and stumbles her way through the house. The only silver lining of this fucking nonsense is having a daily front-row seat to early childhood development.
Anyway more important business. Call for a vote, gimlet/no-gimlet. Best of three. Tomorrow is a workday.
My new boss has a 3yo daughter who sometimes wanders the offices wreaking havoc and being implausibly cute. Like, paste her into a Disney movie and someone would tell the animators to dial it down.
I'm going a little light on the Jameson tonight on account of the early morning I have.
I don't believe you, on account of how you spoiled your ballot there.
AIHGMHB blocking my sister on everything was a major quality-of-life-boosting decision
Oh yeah. Of my six surviving siblings and their spouses, I am only in unfiltered communication with one, and with the wife of another. I had family obligations that required significant interactions up until the end of last year. Shedding those crazy fucks has been tremendous for me. I may be the only person on the planet whose mental health improved in 2020 from 2019.
The only silver lining of this fucking nonsense is having a daily front-row seat to early childhood development.
I'll second this one, also. My kids are considerably older -- the eldest will go to college in the fall if college is still a thing -- but I am really enjoying the time at home with them.
Various MA school districts, depending on metrics of income, are giving all families in certain schools/districts $400/kid for meals that would normally have been provided at schools.
No drive through meals? That's what Salt Lake schools are doing. Similar to the food pantry. They pull up and get lunch and a sack breakfast for the next morning. On Tues and Thurs we do a single line with the food pantry and the school meals as separate stations so they can hit both.
Getting to spend a lot more time with my wife has been good for both of us. I try to take a break when she does. When we're tired and cranky it's easy to isolate from each other for a bit since our work schedules don't overlap completely; I get me time in the morning, she gets it in the early evening, we hang out together in the late evening. It's worked out pretty well. Turns out I like her a lot!
The only relative I can't stand politically is my father, and at least he's one of the old school evil Republicans who only cares about making money, and maybe being a little racist. He usually doesn't fall for outright insane conspiracy theories (except Vince Foster, for some reason?), but he's willing to parrot talking points and engages in whattaboutism. Alas, I still talk to him for an hour every week and I'm always grumpy afterwards, but I couldn't cut him off. He's dealing with enough taking care of my mom now.
New England. The poor must suffer.
Why the fuck do people talk to their parents voluntarily? Incomprehensible.
If "it's the decent thing to do" or filial piety-based or utilitarian arguments don't sway you, I figure in the limit, in my case, it decreases the chance of an avoidable suicide or murder-suicide.
We have sites for meal pick up too, open to all, but this is a supplementary federal program which will continue through the summer (which I'm not sure pickups will).
https://www.mass.gov/info-details/pandemic-ebt-p-ebt
I talk to my mom to be sure she isn't talking. She doesn't really talk politics, but when we do, she assumes I'm joking if I say "President Trump."
Speaking of filial piety, my in-laws are moving in next door in June or July. Which seemed like a great idea last year, and now either seems like an even greater idea (finally some childcare help!) or a terrible idea (they're likelier to get sick and they're at a serious elevated risk of complications). I'm the weak link in the bubble, as I continue to go in to the office/court about once a week. So I'm feeling pretty conflicted about the whole thing.
Herbert Walker has been descending into conservative Fox News dystopia for a couple years, but COVID has accelerated the process. He speaks confidently about medical and epidemiology things about which he has no clue and is often totally incorrect. He is in CA and sought out a haircut because he complained about being uncomfortable with his hair too long, and has said we'll have no economy left if we isolate much longer so we'll just have to accept more losses with reopening because the destruction of the economy would be worse.
Fucking amateurs don't have the spirits and the cordials in the same tier, I had wander all over everywhere buying random protein 'til I found lime. On the plus side I think they forget to charge me for the carry bag I got, which I might call a win, but OTOH the sloppiness is kind of insulting. Like, who do you THINK comes and buys liquor at one thirty in the goddamn morning?
I wish we were allowed to buy liquor that late.
Off sale, that is. Bars have last call at 2 a.m.
I am starting to lose it emotionally. Any tips on how to stay connected/ not get depressed? I don't mean because of the state of the world, just because I'm isolated.
I don't know about everybody else, but that's what I'm doing here.
Oh no... I still think there should be virtual Unfogged meetups. My strongest advice is to be as hedonistic as you possibly can. Let me know if you'd like an email from a near-stranger.
I just ate noodle soup and then soup dumplings. I feel pretty hedonistic. Way too much salt for me.
We also got four bottles of wine, but I'm working tonight.
152: Drinking and getting depressed. E-mail would be appreciated. You can send it to the linked address. I probably won't get to it today, but it would help. I was trying to figure out if there were online communities/ shared interest groups where people could continue to meet people that they might actually see in real life later.
First line of 156 should have had a question mark at the end of the sentence, and it was directed to Moby.
The second part should have been its own paragraph and was in response to 153. Not thinking clearly here.
BG do you go to church? Is your church doing anything online?
I hardly drink at all lately. I do watch church on the internet.
You could also check in with your local mutual aid group on Facebook, or any other local to you neighborhood groups, and propose setting up a weekly gathering. I'm just about to go to a friend of a friend's weekly wine club on Zoom. If I were attending regularly and hit it off, they are largely New Yorkers and are in theory people I could become normal time friends with.
I went into shelter in place with nothing to drink but one bottle of whiskey. We've had eight bottles of wine delivered since and I had to share them. That's as good as on the wagon if you spread that out over two months.
I underestimated how much weight I had gained. It's more like 7-8 pounds. Ovaltine is my whiskey.
Making an Ovaltini sounds like a very bad idea. Especially with an olive.
Ovaltine is great!
Oh Jesus, can't believe I got up at a quarter to 2 am without an alarm. Now ging to go soak my head and get ready for my walk with my wonderful beautiful friend.
It's almost 4 am and 73 degrees out. I'm sure it will be dry by the time I get to the corniche.
Probably shouldn't be wearing a Soft Boys t-shirt today, mixed messaging you know.
You're really committed to this old-timey RPG atmosphere you have going.
We're going to start calling her Walky, you know.
It's always a good time to wear a Soft Boys shirt, Barry, though sadly I don't have one of my own.
I'm doing pretty well and got all the school iPads returned today, so school is officially over. Tomorrow we'll do a short hike as a family and celebrate the dog's first birthday (fake date version). Mara has decided to stop visiting with Lee and at 12 we're letting her make that choice, so I'll have the two older girls with me for the weekend. Nia wants to watch Riverdale while I retwist and then dye her hair. Mara is becoming a Rhiannon Giddens fan and may try to learn to sing more Elizabeth Cotten songs, which is pretty delightful from my end. My girlfriend Odile is playing enough Animal Crossing that she sadly muttered "But I have to water my pollen!" in her sleep early this morning, but it's keeping her connected to family and friends. I bought myself a new rosebush and also got color-coded towels so everyone (dog included) has her own and it worked well enough I've bought a second set so I don't have to keep up with laundry quite as much. I'm so exhausted and I'm worried Nia is headed for psychiatric crisis (and that I'm strained enough I can't patiently do the work it would take to avoid this) and have other pressing concerns I should get figured out, but again, so tired.
Mara is becoming a Rhiannon Giddens fan and may try to learn to sing more Elizabeth Cotten songs
Hooray!!!! Now I'm thinking back over Tomorrow is My Turn... have you read (or do you have any way of reading) the epic piece on Geeshie Wiley that ran in the NYT some years back? I might be a little jumpy if my hypothetical 12yo daughter wanted to cover that song, although it is the greatest.
I'm worried Nia is headed for psychiatric crisis
Oh, Nia. Not that you're obliged to share it, but does she have a diagnosis? Do the crises always take her by surprise, or has she gained some ability to notice warning signs? (They kind of still take me by surprise, to this day, decades into the cycle -- "frequent and mild" is kind of an optimum at this point.) Let us know if there's anything any of us can do, even if you just try to outsource the thinking and ruminating and fretting to a crowd...
174.2: I never know how open to be about that sort of thing, but the primary diagnoses are PTSD and Disruptive Mood Dysregulation Disorder. She's refusing medication and having major mood swings, lots of defiance and belligerence though also plenty of times when she's cheerful and charming and way way more when she's asleep. Just the balance is changing in a bad direction and I'm worried. My sprained ankle a few weeks back was the result of a violent outburst that left me with some really bad bruises and maybe some muscle damage I should have gotten checked out but didn't because it didn't hurt as badly yet when I saw the doctor the day after. Even though I was just, I don't think the psych hospital would have admitted her if we'd gone to the ER unless their standards have changed a lot under quarantine. I don't know how much we can get out of short-term hospitalization anyway and her insurance only wants to pay for about 3 days, though we can buy more time with medication changes. But since she doesn't want to take medication, ??? This is not the right time to be looking at residential treatment programs and I'm also worried that once she gets into that system she won't come out. But I can't rearrange the whole world so she can have what she wants. Maybe if we can hold out through her birthday next month things will get easier?
I'm also worried about Odile, who hasn't seen me get hurt before though she's seen the aftermath several times. I don't want to make her job as my girlfriend harder or drive her away because it's too much, though it would be absolutely reasonable for her to decide it's too much. She's been amazing about massaging my back and bruised leg, but that doesn't really seem sustainable and I can't promise stability.
And I'm back home. That was delightful. Can't see the sunrise though because there's a large hotel blocking the view (one of my favorite buildings here, designed by William Pereira of Transamerica Pyramid fame) so after our walk we both drove up to scout out a spot for our walk tomorrow. It's a 'cultural village' and we weren't sure if it would be open for walking along the shore but it looks ok.
172 I'm not really sure about Walky. She's Polish, maybe there is something culturally appropriate there.
175: God, what a terrible position to be in. I'm so sorry. If it's got to be like this, I wish I could suggest to you some better self-protection options. I get that you don't want to wear a helmet, which I think is fair, but it does seem like maintaining a force asymmetry in her favor is not in her best interest. But of course I don't know what to say other than, I don't know, wondering if you can rearrange the furniture somehow. I truly don't know. Does she have any way of ever leaving the house? Is that part of the difficulty?
I'm so sorry, Thorn. That's truly awful.
158: I'm an irregular church goer. Around Easter, the priest
, organist, and a few choir members taped services. I think they recently instituted zoom coffee hour after morning prayer services from the priest's house. Our Congregation has been declining over the past couple of years. Also, Episcopalians are God's frozen people, so it's never been super warm.
175: Are there any tele- therapy options?
180: Therapy, medication management, family therapy (which began during quarantine and she's understandably been rejecting), and weekly contact with the caseworker for the wraparound program to try to keep her out of out-of-home care are all happening as teletherapy. We just have never found anything that works and she's pretty resistant to trying. I think any changes really have to come from me. I know what sets her off (not getting what she wants, having electronics taken away as punishment) and there have to be ways for me to avoid escalation without being a total pushover that I just haven't figured out yet. I knew exactly what was going to happen the last time she was violent, which means I should be able to change my approach to stop it from happening maybe? I don't think there are any other options.
I knew exactly what was going to happen the last time she was violent, which means I should be able to change my approach to stop it from happening maybe?
I mean, I know you're saying this rhetorically and from a place of exhaustion, but I bet you suspect it may not be true. It's true that your behavior is all you can truly control. But you're probably a foil as she works out her trauma, and thus it's maybe rigged against you from being able mediate a middle ground.
(I hope this comment is validating, not demoralizing.)
My church has been doing Youtube services since March 15. At first it seemed impossible that the Easter service would be online, but of course it was. We were very lucky to have gotten a grant from the Central Atlantic Conference to install recording equipment, which was completed less than a year ago. There are 4 or 5 people physically involved with the services.
Here's something: The Youtube broadcasts consistently say there are 70-something viewers, which is surprising since usually there's about 70 people at the real services, including at least 3 people in the choir who would never show up if it wasn't a chance to sing in a choir, and the 70-something viewers must include families and couples as one viewer. I see a couple people in the chat who have been on the email mailing list for years while barely or never showing up. Maybe it'll help attendance in the long run.
I'm surprised by the number of commenters who have churches.
We got to see the baby's first steps this morning--very cool! Just imagine a very small adult who's had like eighteen beers: wobbly as hell, but still smiling and clapping.
I guess that's why babies aren't allowed to drive.
179: Might be worth checking out the coffee hour even if it's awkward for a while and you're far from the Zoom saturation point.
Other ideas:
Starting your own version of wine club and announcing it via Facebook post and encourage people to invite friends of friends. If you and Tim hold it down once a week people will appreciate the reliable space to drop in. Other similar activities: book clubs, game nights, craft nights.
I'm also starting with this support group on Wednesday nights. It's free. I'm a bit nervous about the time commitment but I felt fortunate enough to be able to do it for free that I decided to sign up. I had to meet one or two criteria to qualify for it but I bet there are other support groups local to you, maybe not free; those can become meaningful relationships. I'm excited for the possibility that I'll get to meet and talk to people who are outside my typical social circles.
Maybe you could find a summer class that includes some kind of element of collaboration and discussion online? I feel like people still have a strong instinct, even though now that things are online they could theoretically go anywhere, to stay in their localities.
My more general idea that encompasses church and wine club is to look at all the ways you socialized pre-pandemic, figure out who has anything online going on, or failing that figure out who you have contact information for who could reach out to networks, and offer to start something.
