I'm not a monster so I like all children.
But you're very brave to come out as a total monster.
I hate the ones (and I think this is maybe more of an age thing than a personality thing - five seems to be the prime age for this and then they outgrow it) who talk and talk and talk and talk and monitor your attention. If you look away or daydream, they stop their monologue and ask if you're listening (or complain that you're not listening!). Worse if it's about some toy or book or game with lots of arcane details.
3: I am still waiting for Mr. 8 to outgrow this. He's sophisticated enough to absorb all the arcane details but gets angry if anyone suggests that they're not as interested in listening as he is in talking. "Are you telling me a list? If you're listing things I probably don't want to hear it" is the focus point of the moment and it's not going so well.
Kids who cry to be manipulative. (Yes, my own kids are capable of this.) As a kid, I loathed this particularly when it seemed like the goal was to wreck other kids from having fun.
If you look away while he's talking to you, my four-year-old kid will reach out and gently rotate your face back. It's cute but also basically terrible.
God, Noah has one friend, and I should really be patient because he's ADHD, but whatever: he's dumb as a fucking post and only speaks in a shout except for during the thirty seconds after you tell him to stop shouting because everybody's right there in the goddamned room with him before he starts shouting again. It takes all the restrain I can muster not to grab him by the throat. Thank god for Covid distancing.
Because now he only exists in Noah's headset while they're playing video games.
Various forms of (mild) disrespect from kids I don't know well -- being too familiar, acting entitled to my attention -- turn me into a fire-breathing harpy. The line isn't unreasonably easy to cross, but it's there. There was one particular neighbor boy who went over it a lot. It's not even kid-specific -- adults being too familiar and acting entitled to my attention get the fire+ice response too....
This reminds me that a friend of mine had a brother who got beaten (I can't recall how anymore, but probably spanked) pretty regularly in elementary school by the teacher. He (the brother) was kind of an asshole, but it wasn't legal to beat school kids even in the 80s. It turns out that one disadvantage of one-room school houses is that there is never more than one adult to witness anything.
Kids are human beings, and therefore are horrible, but they are about the least horrible people we've got. Never trust anybody over 12, is what I say.
Various forms of (mild) disrespect from kids I don't know well -- being too familiar, acting entitled to my attention -- turn me into a fire-breathing harpy
Oh god, this same kid, one of the first few times I'd met him--pre-covid, when he was probably around 8--was playing hide and seek with my kids in our house and came into my office while I was working. I said something like "Hey buddy, I'm working, you can't be in here." and he sushed me. Now LB or someone will show up to say he's clearly not right in the head and I really am a monster, but you'll have to take my word for it that he's old enough to lose normal enough to hate.
My kids have a classmate who is a brat, bossy and manipulative. The kids don't like her. Teachers don't like her. Other parents don't like her. Her parents have sent out feelers about setting up a distance learning pod and we're a bit at a loss how to politely say, no, nobody here wants to deal with your kid. Shit is hard enough as it is.
There's a kid in my son's class whose parents "redshirted" him. Which is absolutely _not_ a thing in the UK, but, they did it anyway for basically bullshit reasons (and I think basically for competitive advantage). So, he's bigger and older than everyone else, better at football, and an arsehole about it. His Dad* is also "competitive Dad", so he encourages some of his worst behaviour. He's a bit of a bully to xelA. Not in some dramatic way that we need to do something about, but he excludes all of the kids who aren't (in his eyes) good enough at football.
Also, one of xelA's best friends annoys me. He's basically a nice kid, and I like his parents a lot. But he's one of those kids who is very invested in being top dog, so he will sometimes manipulate or twists situations to his advantage in ways that are a bit more sociopathic than the average 7 year old. He does it quite subtly, though, so I don't think other parents necessarily pick up on it. I do keep an eye on him, though. He can be a good friend to xelA but he can also fuck with him sometimes in ways that xelA, who is not that wise to when he is being manipulated, can be drawn in by
Also, I genuinely snapped at one of xelA's friends when we were at the beach a week or so ago. I told him to watch out for a car that was reversing in the car park, and he deliberately ignored me and walked behind it (because he wanted to continue playing his ball game rather than pause for 20 seconds). As a basically nice middle class London kid, I don't know if he's heard a voice like that, before. That was one of those disrespect (and also dangerous) things that pushed my buttons.
* who I otherwise like, and go drinking with sometimes.
I'm not going to judge anyone for disliking annoying kids -- I couldn't stand lots of them, and mine had their irritating qualities. (Newt, particularly, was one of those Ancient Mariner kids. Would talk endlessly and would notice failures of attention. He's gotten much better now.)
They are a lot more changeable than adults, though. An adult who's irritating like that is probably not going to change much. I've seen my kids' horrible little friends grow out of being horrible into pleasant people, on the other hand, so I don't approve of giving up on them. Glowering darkly at them, or snarling when appropriate, is a vital part of the education process, though, so no reason to hold back.
What did I ever do to you?
14: "There are two ways out of this room, kid, the door and the window. I'm gonna count to five."
I've seen my kids' horrible little friends grow out of being horrible into pleasant people, on the other hand, so I don't approve of giving up on them.
There are so many of the above comments where I'm thinking, "yep, my kid is totally that kid" that it is nice to remember it is not a permanent state.
Also, this thread caused me to realize that Hawaii has largely outgrown one of her worst habits, constant lying to save face. Constant. Like re-writing a conversation mid-conversation and claiming to have been arguing the opposite side, with zero awareness of how bizarre and disorienting this was to the other person, and then bursting into tears and doubly insisting on her version of events when the other person expressed bewilderment. Getting more hysterical to divert being called out on anything. Just constant. But I am noticing that it has faded significantly in maybe the past two years.
Don't kids like to go out of windows? We used to get yelled at for going out the window.
Also, this thread caused me to realize that Hawaii has largely outgrown one of her worst habits, constant lying to save face.
No, you're the problem.
Oh, and this is the best. So, Jammies' dad is pretty much an asshole. Mostly he floats around silently, but when he does speak, he's often being a complete dick to someone.
On the drive home, Jammies related two events to me from the week, both involving Pokey and Jammies' dad. In the first, Jammies' dad was (at best) trying to make some overture of conversation to Pokey. The way he did it is that he said, "Y'know, [cousin] has been playing baseball all summer."
[Cousin]'s parents are covid-minimizers, like Jammies' dad is, and have had a pretty normal summer. Jammies' dad knows perfectly well that Pokey has not been allowed to play baseball all summer.
Apparently Pokey looked at him quizzically, and said almost gently, "Are you trying to hurt my feelings?"
In the second one, Jammies' dad was going off on a bit of a tirade about how SOMEONE keeps clogging the toilets. It wasn't known quite who, but surely one of the eight children in the room. This time, Pokey said quietly and directly, "You're being mean."
It's almost cinematic in that way that indie film makers just love. I'm so proud of Pokey for being able to put his finger on a dynamic and verbalize it directly. Jammies said that quite possibly no one has ever told his dad that he's being mean.
It's whichever kid eats the most cheese.
I'd be fucking thrilled to see enough of any kids other than my own for them to get on my nerves. Atossa gets shy on video chat or it just can't hold her attention. We have play dates with one of her friends, but her parents' schedules don't line up with ours too well. We try to have play dates with another friend of hers, but Atossa gets so shy around her these days that it's actually a bit worrying.
We're seeing a lot of my nephew these days, Atossa's cousin. They have fun together, but she's 5 and he's a few months shy of 3, and that's a relatively big developmental difference at that age. I mean, they can have fun pouring dirt over each other, but can't really compare their favorite books or TV shows.
It really is. You have to wonder if all the interpersonal difficulty he went through on the way to getting the ADHD diagnosis gave him a head start on being thoughtfully analytical about human interaction.
Maybe it's best to suggest they become a poop knife family?
Pebbles' best friend is a lovely girl who has many fine qualities but who treats every boundary as a reason to scream or cry. Then friend's mom gives in. Needs a snack needs a break needs to stop needs to do something else. None of this is a big deal - kid will probably be fine - except that we want to do activities and whether kid decides to tantrum five minutes into a hike or scream that she doesn't want to bike after we've all met at the path. So it's basically 50-50 on whether activities happen as planned.
We are not harsh parents particularly but I feel way out of step with local PhD norms which is apparently to set no boundaries until your little darling has to drop out of school because first grade is the first time they've ever had to do something they didn't want to do, and then pay for therapy.
Not that we're perfect. Pebbles is an unusually talented liar. No tells. Perfect poker face. "Did you brush your teeth?" "Yes." "If I go in there will I see a wet toothbrush?" "It's hot today, so it probably dried quickly.".
I am reasonably confident, sadly, that my kid is the jerky one among groups of his friends. ADHD sure isn't helping, but it's not just that.
(Playdate in progress with the bubbled friend at our house. The other kid is being fine; my kid, the host, is being terrible)
31 is brilliant. That kid is clearly presidential material.
"Yes." "If I go in there will I see a wet toothbrush?" "It's hot today, so it probably dried quickly.".
I read this a few minutes before the kids' bedtime, so I tested my nine-year-old, who is an incorrigible bullshitter.
Did you brush your teeth?
Yes.
So if I check your toothbrush, it'll be wet?
It's wood, so the water just gets absorbed.
Pebbles and Xerxes request the pleasure of your company...
My son won't even bother lying. Last night:
--Did you brush your teeth?
-- look I made a water balloon! It's the biggest one ever! Can we play with it tomorrow?
My son won't even bother lying. Last night:
--Did you brush your teeth?
-- look I made a water balloon! It's the biggest one ever! Can we play with it tomorrow?
36: that's awesome. For the sake of the remains of the Republic they should never meet.
40. It was saved in the nick of time. Then he went out early this morning and smashed it on the steps.
I had a few hundred 9th and 10th graders across 4 years of teaching, and I was truly surprised how much I had some kind of liking for most of them, and missed them when they were not around. I was not expecting that. But there was one girl whom I had a hard time thinking of as having anything other than resting bitch face who displayed zero sympathy for anyone around her, and was viciously effective in articulating and deploying her complaints about me, other teachers, and other students so that everything sounded much worse than it actually was. She was very smart and hardworking and nominally well-behaved. She rarely opened her mouth, but when she did, somebody always felt disproportionately terrible. Her father called me up once, and it was a very strange conversation, where he seemed trapped into responding to her complaints but also aware that they were probably not representative and so he was going through the motions of registering his concerns but also. . .consoling me for having to deal with her? . . .she was the only kid I never missed and was 100% relieved when she was absent.
She rarely opened her mouth, but when she did, somebody always felt disproportionately terrible.
That seems like a skill.
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It's very weird to have NBA games happening again. I'm not sure what I think about it. But I do appreciate that it means Greg Popovich doing press conferences.
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Basketball in the summer seems strange.
That seems like a skill.
It was really remarkable. there was a week when I actually kept track with her own column for tick marks on my clipboard.I just never managed to catch her saying something that wasn't cutting to someone.
Maybe her parents taught her or maybe they found a class?
Child comes to bed, holding book in which she is engrossed (Harry Potter 4).
Me, holding bookmark: "Here's your bookmark."
Child retreats from bed and sits in chair, looking gleefully defiant about Not Going To Bed.
Me: "You don't have to stop reading! It's fine! I just wanted you to have your bookmark because you left it on the floor."
Child, pacified: "Okay!" Accepts bookmark, climbs up into bunk bed. "I just didn't want you to have more leverage."
re: 49
xelA is also reading Harry Potter 4, but he's gotten bogged down about 60% of the way through. He belted through the previous 3 in double-quick time, but this one seems to have blocked him. I don't know if it's the sheer length of it, or the pace (or lack thereof).
It's been assumed that we'd listen to the final Harry Potter on the way to Montana this past month. I read the first two to the kids, got bored, and so we listened to 3-6 over the past drives. We postponed on 7 last winter, and then postponed again when we went to Florida, and then postponed again on this trip.
Hawaii had been reading them on her own, and I don't think she ever picked up 7. I certainly have no motivation to do so. Pokey just doesn't want to displace any of the things he'd rather be doing. Jammies wants to finish it out of a sense of completion, but he's kind of the only one.
We read HP1-3 to the kid and definitely got tired of them. If the kid wants any more he'll have to do it himself. Some issues with the books themselves (particularly the habit of describing Bad People by their physical traits, but also a bunch of random cruelty), and of course JKR does not, at the moment, seem like someone we want any part in enriching.
I guess we come in below shoplifting?
Book 4 is the worst, no? I mean, sure, its pivotal to the overall plot arc of the series, but the Triwizard Tournament is some bullshit.
OT: Apparently Harper's commissioned somebody to talk shit about Michigan but they didn't even think to ask if I would do it for cheaper because I wouldn't bother to travel there.
I just need to type in what I have on the napkins and replace "Ohio" with another whatever rust belt state it is.
And "Woody Hayes" with whatever the local demonology calls for.
No one seems to like Paul Auster's fiction nowadays, but I did enjoy The Invention of Solitude, which has substantial Kenosha content. There's that other book that mentions it too.
If the name "Kenosha" had showed up in a Buzzfeed quiz, I would have picked "City near Lake Woebegone."
AIMHMHBOOT, when my son was in like 5th grade, he had a pick a state to give a presentation on. He picked Wisconsin, a state he has never been to and where he know nobody, because he wanted to wear a cheese hat during the presentation.
In my day, you could expect people to know their Pynchon a little better.
Prolly should read all the way to the end of 59 . . .
Hatred and dread hung over the town like a pall. Pard turned against pard; every man suspected his neighbor
Down the rabbit hole!
I had no idea what 59.last was about.
Thanks for 59, my mom will enjoy that book, I don't think she's read it.
Huh, looks like virtual learning statewide is going to be taken off local teachers' plates and turned over to a Virtual Charter School. That's a development, I suppose.
My daughter is six and our neighbor R is five. R used to be the sweetest cutest kid and now I can't stand her. She's such a little manipulator. If she's alone, when she sees my kid she talks about how my daughter is her best friend and how she misses her. When R's friend is over the two of them will walk up to my daughter and tell her how annoying she is.
She also does this thing where she acts extra stupid in front of adults and it's so pathetic, but will probably serve her well when she's head cheerleader.
You're still a journeyman in the kid-hating business, ogged. Wait until your own kid goes through a stage where you feel that way about them!
59: Does a decade and a half count as nowadays? That's when I blogged my dislike of Auster. Plus the last sentence of the Auster bit gets in a totally earned dig at Handke.
62
Moby never did.
The Kenosha Kid
71 And yet, if you asked who is the Robinhood of straights and flushes, what answer could you get other than Moby Hick?
70: yes! No one has enjoyed a Paul Auster novel since approximately 1998.
67: well... isn't that special.
With that kind of welcome, I think everyone should know that I've been lurking, and that I support Moby in emails.
I guess you could have been emailing other people.
District where wife teaches is starting the year remote-only. Our state data has been on a pretty bad trend the past couple weeks. I was supposed to start going back to the office if it stayed on a good trend but now I don't think we're going to move ahead with our next phase for a while.
And our district looks like it's going to start as possibly in person only for K-2- even those might be remote but older definitely are starting remote.