Back then, I would play Civ 2 instead of Civ V. It was such a different time.

I am always tired. I've been trying to up my exercise a bit (as well as cut out all candy) in order to halt/reverse some of the weight gain over the past year. But I'd also like to be stronger and have more energy The main reason I would eat Twizzlers is for the boost of energy.

I've been doing 75 minute walks in the morning, 20 minute walk at lunch, and 30 minute walks after dinner. I've been trying to do a 7 minute circuit some days too. In the past there was walking a bit and stairs built in to my day.

The post dinner walk helps a lot with digestion, but I still start falling asleep on the couch at 9:00.

Yesterday, I walked and I did 30 minutes of ashtanga yoga with a video that's now on YouTube. (Tim's company will cover the cost of a yoga mat, so I bought one.). My flexibility is really terrible, but so are my wimpy biceps and triceps. My arms are sore, and I was wiped.

I don't get enough good quality sleep, but, man, am I tired and sleepy.

And, I'm not at all overscheduled.

I've been thinking of doing the dental device to see if that would help with sleep, but have avoided because of the out of pocket costs. In some ways I experience less crippling fatigue than I did when I was younger, but that was really tied to depression.

I have fantasies now of going to Maui to study yoga for a month and going to all kinds of alternative healers for an analysis of diet and posture.

I've also been wondering a lot about optimizing diet - like can I modify my diet to promote reasonably consistent levels of energy and focus. This isn't covered in standard nutritional advice. I'm willing to venture into slightly woo territory to experiment.

Does anybody have suggestions?

I'm drinking coffee and eating peanut butter cups, so probably not.

3: I do drink coffee and think it's an important tool! But, yeah, I need to avoid the peanut butter cups.

Yes to the NYT piece. And was a bit surprised to see Nick Confessore pushing it with a number of tweets (but not one of the the authors). Confessore has a twitter track thread of trolling libs* and general defensiveness about NYT political coverage.

*Most notoriously to me on E-night 2016 he tweeted "Where's your blue wall now?" (Something like that.)

I haven't read the NYT editorial page since 2016. I feel worse than I did in 2016, but I think that's a spurious connection not causal.

I was diagnosed with Lyme recently. Seemed to catch it early with the rash and immediately go a course of antibiotics. I think I was a little more tired , at least my daytime naps seemed to be deeper and more necessary but otherwise no real ill effects. The doctor was telling me longer-term symptoms to be on the lookout for and I offered up tiredness. He suggested that tiredness was overdetermined, particularly in someone my age, and not necessarily a good marker.

6: I think the Editorial pages are actually somewhat better than their national political coverage which is where I think they are atrocious and have been for 25+ years. And back in the 90s I thought they were quite good (i.e generally agreed with my positions ...).

I am a broken record and determined to bore everyone to fucking death.

7: But reports from people I know who had Lyme* at all badly is that their tiredness was a step beyond, absolute bone-weariness.

*Which is a lot; I think in this area that if you are outdoors a lot be it woods or garden you will most likely get Lyme.

I spray permethrin on clothing and also go out more when it's cold.

Which I know only cuts the odds, but so far it's been fine.

Re: Lyme.

Valneva has a Lyme disease vaccine in phase 2 trials.

U Mass has developed a monoclonal antibody as PrEP which they are studying. Essentially, you would get an annual shot of the monoclonal - which is a nice option to have. My super active boss is also a kidney transplant patient who would be thrilled to be able to take that.

MassBiologics thinks they might be able to get something on the market by 2023 or 2024.

There was one and they took it off the market because whatever.

One of the things that's getting me down about the past 2 years is that I've really lost the joy in a lot of things. Which probably sounds like some kind of low-grade depression, I suppose, although I don't feel massively melancholic or any more stressed than normal.* But I just can't really motivate myself to listen to music much, for example, which has been something that has been a dominant force in my life since I was 12 years old. I do read some fiction, but not as much as I used to, either. Instead, it's just work and family life.

I do exercise a lot. Not quite as much as I was at the start of the summer, but I cycle for 60 - 90 minutes at least 4 times a week, and it'd be a very rare day when I didn't also walk at least 10,000 steps on top of that.

* I have a sneaky suspicion there's something endocrinological going on, sometimes, as I've been on thyroid medication for 10 years, and I find it incredibly hard to lose weight, even when my diet is very tightly controlled and I exercise a lot, but that might just be a convenient piece of self-deception that I tell myself.

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This guy does timelapse astrophotography over (I think) Western US backgrounds. The results are stunning.
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Feeling very buoyant, because We finally got got one of the doctors at the Royal NHS Surgery to tell Us exactly what is wrong with Our heart, only a month after another one rang Us up and said a cardiologist would be in touch in due course to explain why they were concerned about Our scan results. A month of increasing anxiety followed, attaching itself, of course, to every little twinge and night time pain. But it turns out to be a thickening of the aortic valve, treatable with balloonoplasty if/when it starts to cramp Our style.

The state of the ambulance service now means We really have reason to dread another heart attack.

That seems like good news. Hooray.

There was one and they took it off the market because whatever.

They took it off the market because anti-vaxers filed a class action lawsuit that killed it popularity and drove it off the market.

I've been doing 75 minute walks in the morning, 20 minute walk at lunch, and 30 minute walks after dinner. I've been trying to do a 7 minute circuit some days too. In the past there was walking a bit and stairs built in to my day.

That's a lot of walking. Maybe that's tiring you out?

They took it off the market because anti-vaxers filed a class action lawsuit that killed it popularity and drove it off the market.

Wait, really?! wtf.

Objectively pro-tick.

20: I mean, yeah, so I cut the AM walk to 50 minutes. I'm not walking to the bus stop or between buildings anymore though. Increasing the amount I walk is what works for me for weight loss. I mean, there are people who train for marathons or play ultimate frisbee regularly.

21: Yes, but the newer one looks better, and way more people are affected now, so I think there will be demand.

19: https://slate.com/technology/2021/07/lyme-vaccine-history-lymerix-hesitancy-ticks.html

The article argues that there were many reasons why this vaccine failed to take off.

I was unclear in 14 for that reason.

The point is, now instead of sitting on the nice, soft grass, you have to sit on a rock.

26: I thought that was to avoid grass stains on your pants.

I vaguely recall the Lyme vaccine thing now. Good work, team.

I wonder if the author linked in 24 ever considers changing her name because no one takes an Onion article seriously.

According to New Scientist, they're working on a vaccine delivered through a patch. Will this smoke out a significant number of anti-vaxxers who are pretending to be principled but are actually just scared of needles? Watch this space.

Whatever, it sounds promising because it can be stored at room temperature.

I'm definitely more heavily scheduled than I used to be. I don't want to complain since I'm sure I don't have it as bad as a college professor with 4 kids, but it's disorienting, especially after the past year. In covid times it was a struggle to fill time and keep the kid from climbing the walls. Now she's in school the usual time, is on the waitlist for the school's aftercare, has an informal aftercare with 3 friends and a nanny until then, and has four extracurriculars. Plus various less structured fun stuff for both her and the grownups, of course.

I'm not at the point where I actually miss the kid's company yet but it's easier to imagine. And I can't honestly claim to be too busy in general for things I tend to put off, but on any given day it's more likely to be true.

15: The same thing happened to my wife; the big breakthrough was realizing that she just wasn't excited about her birthday this year. (Normally, she likes to make a big deal about it, and her birthdays are normally a big focus for at least gathering.) Some of the dismay was Covid limiting fun gathering at the time, but she realized that it was bigger than that and got a tele-med appointment and got a prescription.

It sounds like you have background things going on that give different reasons for similar effects -- it still might be worth investigating. (For my wife, constant "can't really focus for long due to pain" was a separate serious contributor; she's been amazed at how good her focus and love of life have been since her spine shot 2 weeks ago.)

I don't have it as bad as a college professor

I dunno. I'm realizing how much easier I have it than a high school teacher in a MAJOR way.

Also, if I post the normal weekly checkin thread, I'll break the streak of having posts named on a calendar theme.

Explaining shit to people for money is for suckers.

Better to gather specialized knowledge and use that to consult for late capitalism.

I consulted for late capitalism and all I got was a lot of money.

Explaining shit to people for money is for suckers.

Shitting money to people explains suckers.
Sucking shit for money explains people.
People explaining money sucks shit.
Money sucks explanations for people to shit.

Scratch 37. Replace with My "I consulted for late capitalism and all I got was a lot of money" T-shirt has people asking a lot of questions already answered by my shirt.

15, 32: Yeah. There's a lot of malaise going around and lots of cause for malaise. I wonder if some of it is decompressing from the constant adrenalin rushes of the Trump years.

I've found a bunch of individually stupid stuff adding up to "nothing matters, nothing will ever work, activism is stupid, everything is pointless" for me. I told you I went to the doctor who said "not depressed; accurate". Someone on Twitter said that we don't need any more climate knowledge, we need a sense of agency. That sounds right to me.

Anyway, I had a tiny, very small victory in one of activism things I am trying to do. My first in three years, after lots of fails. If you told me up front that it would be the payout, I'd have glared at you. But even that is re-charging me. Some agency! Some possibility of reward! I did something that worked! It has taken massive systemic failure to get me this hopeless and despairing, but a small bit of victory is helping (for a month or two).

For me, at least, Zoom contributes to the over scheduling because there seem to be more meetings now that we can assume anyone can jump on at any time from home.

@12
A Lyme vaccine? Fantastic! Now all we need is a shark vaccine and we'll be able to go to the Cape again.

i was very bummed to hear that adolescent sharks may go for surfers and swimmers bc their eyesight is crappy. if true, not much advantage to foregoing a seal costume aka wetsuit. makes sense, they're coming up from below, human-seal by definition backlit. still a bummer. still not going to wear a wetsuit in the bay, what with the hickies, general pita & just bc feels better without one. & no sharks in the bay of the biting kind. & in so cal the h20 soooo much warmer would be a shame to wear one.

I bet it would protect against ticks.

all the entries i use are pretty urbanized, no tromping through undergrowth, tick risk low. although last winter did have one fairly hairy raccoon encounter while entering the water. luckily another club member fended off the raccoon while i got in. definitely one of those wow actually i can swim a bit faster moments.

re: 40.1

That's definitely not the case for me, as in the UK, we are still governed by the UK equivalent. But yeah, on the general malaise.

re: 41

That's definitely a problem for me, as my job, at least in part, is specifically about product ownership/management, so a lot of what I do is talk to people about what they should do, and be available to answer questions both for clients and for staff. I have clients in Europe, the UK, and the US, so the time slots spread out throughout the day, and I also have multiple concurrent projects on the go,* and I'm doing all of the Monday to Friday childcare. So ... it's a lot of shit to be dealing with. There's definitely a 12 hour window each day in which I'm mostly working with childcare interleaved throughout.

My job has always involved periods of fairly heavy workload, but it's relentless now, and I'm not even really in the death-march end-phase of any big project at the moment.

* partly because COVID and squeezed budgets at institutions mean that I'm running a lot of smaller projects, and also finishing up various legacy projects that got delayed by COVID

re: 46.2

For example, right now, I am working for: the sevihcrA lanoitaN SU, the ssergnoC fo yrarbiL, dravraH, seidutS nacirfA dna latneirO fo loohcS, the ytteG (in LA), and several universities in Belgium and Germany.

46: You said you're running the childcare. Does that mean that your wife was able to find work?

re: 48

Yeah. She's retraining to be a teacher, and hopefully, pending the outcome of her application, starting formal training next year. In the meantime she's working as a teaching assistant in a central London school.* So she leaves the house before our son wakes up, and gets back after I collect him from school. She's home well before bedtime, so it's not total solo childcare on my part, but I'm doing mornings and afternoon pickups, and cooking dinner most days, and then going back to my desk to work into the evening.

* which has its challenges. She has, I think, six or maybe seven Afghan refugees from the recent airlifts in her class.

47: Wow! That's an impressive list of backwards institutions!

49: Did your respective residency rights for the EU or the Glorious Domain of Churchillocracy end up changing significantly?

Wow, I'd been feeling some general burn-out and malaise myself, but reading ttaM's situation makes me feel like a slacker.