Re: Check Ins, Reassurances, and Concerns, 3/26

1

Ok, I have a small quandary:
1. Jammies feels extremely strongly that you don't quit commitments halfway through. It's a core value. I share this value but not as intensely.

2. I value not being stupidly overscheduled. When Hawaii signed up for extra dance classes this semester, I was concerned and we talked about signs that she might need to cut back.

3. Hawaii wants to cut back now, and she wants to drop a class with an instructor that she's not getting along with. She's had this instructor since she was five, but the recently added classes are at a different studio.

Jammies thinks this is the exact wrong reason to bail on someone. There's some other stuff, about why Hawaii and Jammies each prefer the different studios they prefer.

I'm at a loss, but I'm also kind of the deciding vote here. How do I feel?


Posted by: heebie | Link to this comment | 03-26-22 7:48 AM
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They say "Dance like no one is watching". So pick the teacher who is least attentive.


Posted by: Moby Hick | Link to this comment | 03-26-22 7:58 AM
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I should be her teacher?


Posted by: heebie | Link to this comment | 03-26-22 8:00 AM
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Please apply the platitude within the scope conditions established in the original question.


Posted by: Moby Hick | Link to this comment | 03-26-22 8:04 AM
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I am aware of all antecedent traditions.


Posted by: heebie | Link to this comment | 03-26-22 8:11 AM
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A platitude and its contrapositive are logically equivalent.


Posted by: Moby Hick | Link to this comment | 03-26-22 8:35 AM
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I spent like years trying to get my mom to let me stop taking dancing lessons.


Posted by: Moby Hick | Link to this comment | 03-26-22 8:38 AM
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Forcing a kid to stick with an activity that's supposed to be fun but isn't is pointless at best, and usually worse than pointless. It makes the kid miserable which has spillover effects on the rest of the family. Also it can turn a formerly fun life activity into anti-fun.

Compromise: Jammies can keep his commitment by continuing to pay for the length of the contract, and driving to the dance place and sitting in the car outside for an hour twice a week, at least until law enforcement notices.


Posted by: unimaginative | Link to this comment | 03-26-22 9:45 AM
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What does he think would be a good reason?

I would say that sticking with an instructor you don't get along with is a waste of everyone's time and energy at best and actively harmful to both the student and instructor at worst. But also my priors in this area are vastly different than Jammies's.


Posted by: E. Messily | Link to this comment | 03-26-22 10:01 AM
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Also, what's the commitment? The performance or the learning stuff? I can see an argument that quitting would leave the rest of the performance in a bad spot- but if that's the case, then leaving either studio would be equally bad, right?


Posted by: E. Messily | Link to this comment | 03-26-22 10:04 AM
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If either has a performance, dump it if the audience isn't blindfolded.


Posted by: Moby Hick | Link to this comment | 03-26-22 10:06 AM
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Sometimes it's good to give kids a little push if you have good reason to think that they're just nervous and will like it in the end or somesuch, but once it's clear they actually don't want to do it there's really no reason to push. I don't understand Jammies's loyalty issue here, this isn't a friendship it's a business transaction. If he wants to keep paying for the class because you took a spot another kid wanted then fine, but don't make the kid go.


Posted by: Unfoggetarian: "Pause endlessly, then go in." (9) | Link to this comment | 03-26-22 10:15 AM
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I think the loyalty is partly to the May performance, and to the general well-being of the financial health of the small dance studio.

The part that I can understand is that if you're in an activity as a group, and you're having fun, it can kind of be a downer when there's a slow attrition of participants. One person leaving can accelerate the decay of a group activity. Not entirely, but the decision to leave is not purely neutral in its impact on other students.

The other part is that Jammies thinks is that this might be a normal blip in a longterm teacher-student relationship, and he sees Hawaii as throwing the whole thing away, potentially.

Old dance teacher is much better on things like body image acceptance and inclusivity. New studio is more competitive and superficial.


Posted by: heebie | Link to this comment | 03-26-22 10:35 AM
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I think the loyalty is partly to the May performance, and to the general well-being of the financial health of the small dance studio.

The part that I can understand is that if you're in an activity as a group, and you're having fun, it can kind of be a downer when there's a slow attrition of participants. One person leaving can accelerate the decay of a group activity. Not entirely, but the decision to leave is not purely neutral in its impact on other students.

The other part is that Jammies thinks is that this might be a normal blip in a longterm teacher-student relationship, and he sees Hawaii as throwing the whole thing away, potentially.

Old dance teacher is much better on things like body image acceptance and inclusivity. New studio is more competitive and superficial.


Posted by: heebie | Link to this comment | 03-26-22 10:35 AM
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That Dance Mom lady is a local here. After being competitive and superficial comes stripper-moves and felony income tax evasion.


Posted by: Moby Hick | Link to this comment | 03-26-22 10:40 AM
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Could she drop it for this season (or whatever it's called) on the premise of being overbooked and go back later? Or if she quits now would she be banished from that studio forever?


Posted by: E. Messily | Link to this comment | 03-26-22 11:30 AM
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Unrelatedly: I made a quilt that Redfox commissioned for whatever her child's pseudonym is. It turned out great! It's posted on various social medias. I also put a picture of it in a local sewing group on FB. It has gotten mainly very nice enthusiastic praise, plus this gem of a backhanded boomer lady "compliment:

"Very complex-looking despite the simple pattern. Nicely done."

I did a laughing reaction because I'm a brat, but also because it has made me laugh every time I see it.


Posted by: E. Messily | Link to this comment | 03-26-22 11:33 AM
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Maybe someday I'll be able to make a quilt that is ACTUALLY complex, instead of just looking complex


Posted by: E. Messily | Link to this comment | 03-26-22 11:34 AM
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That does look amazing and complex.


Posted by: Moby Hick | Link to this comment | 03-26-22 11:47 AM
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it isn't really though


Posted by: E. Messily | Link to this comment | 03-26-22 11:56 AM
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I don't know from sewing so I can only good by looks.


Posted by: Moby Hick | Link to this comment | 03-26-22 12:02 PM
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May isn't far - doing the showing would be a natural break point. You probably don't want to soldier on with a teacher you've come to hate for whatever reason and let that contaminate dance in general.

also have I linked this here before? https://dancers.invisionzone.com/topic/23365-training-you-may-take-at-a-dolly-dinkle/


Posted by: Alex | Link to this comment | 03-26-22 12:40 PM
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You need permission to see it.


Posted by: Moby Hick | Link to this comment | 03-26-22 12:56 PM
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17, 20 -- I would think that was a straight up compliment from a quilter, it's one of the things people value in quilt pattern execution. If you were priding yourself on technical difficulty it would be a diss, but were you?

Finishing the performance and then leaving that studio? class? teacher? does seem like a good compromise to me. Unless Hawaii has an understudy who just needs this chance to shine, in which case Hawaii is doomed to sprain her ankle/have an ugly cry/get caught in traffic on the day anyway, and she might as well bow out now.


Posted by: clew | Link to this comment | 03-26-22 1:03 PM
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She could do a self-Kerrigan but that seems risky.


Posted by: Moby Hick | Link to this comment | 03-26-22 1:28 PM
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Generally I don't think wholehearted compliments mention whichever aspects of the complimentee are NOT being complimented.


Posted by: E. Messily | Link to this comment | 03-26-22 1:49 PM
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The beginning of this thread is super funny.


Posted by: apostropher | Link to this comment | 03-26-22 2:26 PM
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I mean, it has been really funny so far. Not that it was and then wasn't.


Posted by: apostropher | Link to this comment | 03-26-22 2:29 PM
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26: "You look great, but I certainly did spent the last five minutes on the other side of the room staring at your butt, so my compliment is not specifically directed there."


Posted by: Moby Hick | Link to this comment | 03-26-22 2:47 PM
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To follow up on our homelessness conversation from the last check-in thread, we had the meeting where we got to present our ideas to a city council committee and the massive outpouring of support was kind of amazing. We were able to present our case with fifty or sixty people sitting behind us.

There was some standard and expected pushback from city staff, but it melted away once the heads of social service agencies got up to speak and said "yes, we love this initiative, this is so important." Then we had just one member of the public after another speak up in support, including a couple currently experiencing homelessness. After that, it was members of the clergy from the local interfaith coalition batting cleanup.

At the end, the committee unanimously agreed to send it forward to the next step. I think that we are at least going to be able to get some public bathrooms and trash removal out of this, and I like our chances for safe parking program. Opening a new camping area is still a stretch, but a lot less of a stretch than it was last week.


Posted by: Spike | Link to this comment | 03-26-22 4:03 PM
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That's awesome, Spike.


Posted by: Bostoniangirl | Link to this comment | 03-26-22 4:12 PM
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Oh that's fantastic. Hope it keeps going and gains momentum.


Posted by: | Link to this comment | 03-26-22 5:58 PM
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32 was me.


Posted by: Megan | Link to this comment | 03-26-22 6:01 PM
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17: wowowowowow so beautiful!!!


Posted by: Ile | Link to this comment | 03-26-22 6:26 PM
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17: wowowowowow so beautiful!!!


Posted by: Ile | Link to this comment | 03-26-22 6:26 PM
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Regarding dance quandary: is it going to mess up choreography to have her leave now?


Posted by: Ile | Link to this comment | 03-26-22 6:27 PM
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Regarding dance quandary: is it going to mess up choreography to have her leave now?


Posted by: Ile | Link to this comment | 03-26-22 6:27 PM
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Thanks!


Posted by: E. Messily | Link to this comment | 03-26-22 7:02 PM
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Well done Spike


Posted by: Barry Freed | Link to this comment | 03-26-22 8:04 PM
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36: Not really. The class would go from 5 to 4, and the performances aren't for two more months.


Posted by: heebie-geebie | Link to this comment | 03-27-22 11:35 AM
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heebie i have thoughts but not time as getting ready to go to first! concert! in two! years! so excited will type up later đź’“ to all!!!


Posted by: dairy queen | Link to this comment | 03-27-22 12:06 PM
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So, my dentist retired and sold his practice to two gentiles. Should I just find a new dentist or, just to be sure, should I call the office to ask if the new dentists are using their real last names?


Posted by: Moby Hick | Link to this comment | 03-27-22 1:06 PM
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Jammies and I talked a little more about the dance class. And he said, "You know all those TikToks about raising a nine year old versus raising a teen or tween?"

I said no, I didn't.
He said, "They all basically have some spin on that nine year olds want love and reassurance and to know they're doing okay, but teenagers need independence and a chance to make their own mistakes, and then look back on them. So if she wants to quit..." (ominous inflection at the end, but his point still stands.)

So we'll let her quit. Although my actual response was, "When Hawaii was nine, she wanted independence, not love and reassurance."

So there you have it.

DQ, I'm still interested to hear what you have to say.


Posted by: heebie | Link to this comment | 03-27-22 1:28 PM
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42: I can't think of any good puns, but there should be one around dentiles or gentists.


Posted by: heebie | Link to this comment | 03-27-22 1:36 PM
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Not sure what to make of the revelation that Jammies gets his parenting advice from TikTok.


Posted by: teofilo | Link to this comment | 03-27-22 1:59 PM
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I guess I could find a dentist TikTok and avoid going.


Posted by: Moby Hick | Link to this comment | 03-27-22 2:58 PM
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47: He's making a TikTok right now saying, "I don't know what to make of the fact that my wife gets parenting advice from an eclectic webzine."


Posted by: heebie | Link to this comment | 03-27-22 3:04 PM
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47: How insulting to compare an ancient revered institution like Unfogged to some upstart social media site for kids!


Posted by: peep | Link to this comment | 03-27-22 3:31 PM
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I sent this to ogged intending that he post it here, or rather desiring that he do so, but he didn't! Note the line "I'm a Lor and my religion is my honor". Just like ogged!


Posted by: nosflow | Link to this comment | 03-27-22 4:00 PM
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You have to send stuff to heebie. She still cares.


Posted by: Moby Hick | Link to this comment | 03-27-22 6:02 PM
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A toast to the longevity of Unfogged; I see that CrookedTimber is going to start limiting comments.

I liked the line that was quoted in the BitchPHD podcast with Robert Farley that the CT comments were, "the Bellagio Poker Room of trolling." (note unfogged gets a shoutout in that podcast as well).


Posted by: NickS | Link to this comment | 03-27-22 7:15 PM
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41: That so! lurid and I were just at our first concert in two years too. Ours was Mahler Chamber Orchestra in Berkeley, where were you?


Posted by: lourdes kayak | Link to this comment | 03-27-22 8:57 PM
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I liked the line that was quoted in the BitchPHD podcast with Robert Farley that the CT comments were, "the Bellagio Poker Room of trolling." (note unfogged gets a shoutout in that podcast as well).

The most niche podcast would be an oral history of the day a bunch of unfogged commenters jumped into CT comments because ogged went on hiatus and people were looking for something to do. (I think that was the context? It was a long time ago.)


Posted by: fake accent | Link to this comment | 03-27-22 9:54 PM
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52: we were there too! i am so glad you were there bc it was wonderful but it would have been even more wonderful if we'd met up and you could have met my better half! retrospectively delighted to have been in the same space as you!!! i'd never seen uchida live and i'm so glad i had the opportunity, she's all kinds of fabulous.


Posted by: dairy queen | Link to this comment | 03-28-22 6:43 AM
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50: but heebie isn't a Lur!


Posted by: nosflow | Link to this comment | 03-28-22 7:27 AM
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Lurs could support her in emails.


Posted by: Moby Hick | Link to this comment | 03-28-22 7:49 AM
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Is that a racial Lur?


Posted by: Doug | Link to this comment | 03-28-22 10:31 AM
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Regardless, you aren't a real rapper until you punch Chris Rock.


Posted by: Moby Hick | Link to this comment | 03-28-22 11:15 AM
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58: I have no idea how to comment on that/ think about that outside of the Unfogged bubble. I have seen lots on Twitter about how white people should shut up and only listen to black people on this one. But I've also heard from disability advocates who (without condoning violence) feel that people who don't understand that alopecia is a medical condition are mimimizing a disability, even including criticism of Nicole Hannah Jones from the left


Posted by: Boatoniangirl | Link to this comment | 03-28-22 12:10 PM
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59: I hold fast to the philosophy that celebrity feuds/relationships are the least interesting topic on earth, second only to the Academy Awards, so have decided to not have an opinion on it at all. But that shouldn't stop anybody else.


Posted by: apostropher | Link to this comment | 03-28-22 12:26 PM
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Wait. Did someone punch Chris Rock?


Posted by: Moby Hick | Link to this comment | 03-28-22 12:30 PM
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Slapped, not punched.

Will Smith won't swear on his records, but drops f-bombs live at Oscars!


Posted by: Unfoggetarian: "Pause endlessly, then go in" (9) | Link to this comment | 03-28-22 12:34 PM
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I hadn't heard about it until my Cal III students told me about it earlier today.


Posted by: heebie-geebie | Link to this comment | 03-28-22 12:56 PM
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Did he know the Oscars are recorded?


Posted by: Moby Hick | Link to this comment | 03-28-22 12:56 PM
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I really didn't think Will and Jada were going to top the time they both said together: "We ride together, we die together. Bad marriage for life!" But this did it!


Posted by: Unfoggetarian: "Pause endlessly, then go in" (9) | Link to this comment | 03-28-22 1:01 PM
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Lots of people write their own vows.


Posted by: Moby Hick | Link to this comment | 03-28-22 1:07 PM
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This is my favorite response so far

I sat in silence for almost 30 years while people made fun of my partner's hair. So it's not how I would've handled it, but I understand

https://twitter.com/AndyRichter/status/1508470858271977482?ref_src=twsrc%5Egoogle%7Ctwcamp%5Eserp%7Ctwgr%5Etweet


Posted by: peep | Link to this comment | 03-28-22 1:32 PM
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67 is pretty great.

I have to say, the (semi-)serious responses I've seen from people in my Twitter feed don't break down along any lines I could have predicted in advance. I've certainly seen super-predictable responses (eg Campos at LGM: "troubled by elites acting w/ impunity"), but I try not to follow such people.


Posted by: JRoth | Link to this comment | 03-28-22 1:49 PM
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60: Agreed. All I want are the jokes. It's such a trivial matter that I find anyone taking it very seriously pretty unbearable. Not everything is a synecdoche for whatever the fuck you think is the world's most important issue.

59: I shouldn't wade into this, and certainly not at the end of the day, but: I sure don't buy alopecia as a "disability". Maybe it qualifies in a technical way, and I certainly don't dismiss it as an upsetting condition (I wouldn't, of instance, make jokes about it), but calling it that abuses the concept of disability. Pinkett-Smith suffers neither chronic pain nor impairment in any ADL. AFAICT the only effect aside from hair loss is, in some cases, ridges in your nails. It's frankly absurd to say that hair loss from male pattern baldness is just a thing that happens with no larger import, but hair loss from alopecia is a disability.


Posted by: JRoth | Link to this comment | 03-28-22 2:03 PM
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The best and only response was the guy who tweeted "I think this was all staged, I googled the guy who slapped Chris Rock and it turns out he's a professional actor"


Posted by: Ajay | Link to this comment | 03-28-22 2:19 PM
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Heh.


Posted by: Moby Hick | Link to this comment | 03-28-22 2:20 PM
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Obviously, I think that once I go bald enough that I need to shave my head, my wife should be able to punch people who make fun of me for going bald. That's probably a couple years away.


Posted by: Moby Hick | Link to this comment | 03-28-22 2:23 PM
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I find anyone taking it very seriously pretty unbearable.

I regard this as the latest example of the disintegration of American society.

That said, I find me pretty unbearable.


Posted by: politicalfootball | Link to this comment | 03-28-22 2:37 PM
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The best and only response

I dunno, this made me laugh:
"Shortly after the incident, as those in attendance and watching at home tried to catch their breaths, Rock was heard joking backstage, 'I just got punched in the face by Muhammad Ali and didn't get a scratch.' "


Posted by: apostropher | Link to this comment | 03-28-22 2:43 PM
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My favorite response -- I'm paraphrasing here, because I'm not going to look for it -- was 'imagine how different it would be if he'd taken the mike and given a 30 second description of how much the condition upsets his wife.' The answer is standing ovation. And everyone, including Rock, would have learned something.

It's a lot to ask that someone would have it together enough to think like a PR person in a heated moment, but if it's true that he heard the joke at rehearsal, he had time to think about his reaction. Actors need scripts!


Posted by: CharleyCarp | Link to this comment | 03-28-22 2:48 PM
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Every now and then I feel strangely simpatico with the Trumpists, and this is one occasion. Obviously, Trumpists are pro-violence, so I don't actually agree with their praise of Smith. But like them, I have developed the conspiracy theorists' habit of connecting everything to a larger narrative about the decay of society.

I say: Make America Great Again! I mean, who could imagine such a thing happening in the past, pre-Trump?

Well, the truth is we all could. Nobody would have been shocked if, say, Brando had pulled something like this.


Posted by: politicalfootball | Link to this comment | 03-28-22 2:54 PM
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He was from Nebraska. Lots of violent hotheads.


Posted by: Moby Hick | Link to this comment | 03-28-22 3:07 PM
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Like that Henry Fonda guy.


Posted by: Moby Hick | Link to this comment | 03-28-22 3:07 PM
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Kareem isn't happy with Will Smith: https://kareem.substack.com/p/will-smith-did-a-bad-bad-thing?s=r


Posted by: NickS | Link to this comment | 03-28-22 3:50 PM
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I mean, it is a bad thing clearly. But is it a bad thing so bad that I shouldn't make fun of it?


Posted by: Moby Hick | Link to this comment | 03-28-22 3:51 PM
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I have no objection to people making fun of it.


Posted by: NickS | Link to this comment | 03-28-22 4:00 PM
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I was more worried about pissing of Kareem.


Posted by: Moby Hick | Link to this comment | 03-28-22 4:02 PM
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How 'bout this for a contrarian take: The standard liberal view is that Smith's assault was patriarchal bullshit, but it has not been acknowledged that it was also insulting it was to those with alopecia. Pinkett Smith made a proud fashion choice to wear her condition publicly -- a choice that, indeed, some women make without that condition. High-quality wig technology is widely available. Smith's move indicated his contempt for the sufferers of alopecia because it implies that his wife should be embarrassed by the choice she has made about her appearance.

Needs a little work, but this may finally be my chance to get published in Slate.


Posted by: politicalfootball | Link to this comment | 03-28-22 4:04 PM
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Agree with 73. In addition to "society has broken down and we don't know how to interact with each other" there's a second strange thread of "all couples have descended in folie a deux over two years of weird feedback loops with no outsiders to give you a sanity check."


Posted by: Unfoggetarian: "Pause endlessly, then go in." (9) | Link to this comment | 03-28-22 4:25 PM
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Also what's up with Bradley Cooper? How do he and Will Smith even know each other?


Posted by: Unfoggetarian: "Pause endlessly, then go in." (9) | Link to this comment | 03-28-22 4:26 PM
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Cooper was the giant spider in Wild, Wild West.


Posted by: Moby Hick | Link to this comment | 03-28-22 4:29 PM
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The only connection seems to be that Will Smith gave a weird speech recently saying "I look at Bradley Cooper. I've seen pictures of him when he was young. He didn't look like this! He grew into that! He let the dream blossom inside of him! I can't even concentrate, he's so beautiful."


Posted by: Unfoggetarian: "Pause endlessly, then go in." (9) | Link to this comment | 03-28-22 4:35 PM
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That's more ridiculous than mine. Good job.


Posted by: Moby Hick | Link to this comment | 03-28-22 4:45 PM
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Is the problem that they were Ohioans or that they were fraternal lodges? Or both?


Posted by: Moby Hick | Link to this comment | 03-28-22 4:51 PM
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I'd really like to see the moment between Smith's grin and him storming the stage. I wonder if that was caught on video anywhere.


Posted by: politicalfootball | Link to this comment | 03-28-22 4:53 PM
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89: The story purports to answer the question, "[W]ho are the Odd Fellows"? Seems to me the question answers itself.


Posted by: politicalfootball | Link to this comment | 03-28-22 4:56 PM
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My town had an Eagle's Club. Now I wonder if they weren't eating cats like real eagles.


Posted by: Moby Hick | Link to this comment | 03-28-22 5:01 PM
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69: I don't understand what's going on with male pattern baldness, but my understanding is that alopecia is classified as a disability, because it is an autoimmune disease. The immune system is attacking the hair follicle in some way. I don't know if that has any implications for the robustness of her immune system otherwise that might make her more vulnerable to infections.


Posted by: Boatoniangirl | Link to this comment | 03-28-22 5:04 PM
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She's probably really well protected against germs that look like hair follicles.


Posted by: Moby Hick | Link to this comment | 03-28-22 5:08 PM
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has anyone linked this yet https://twitter.com/ben_rosen/status/1508546875946795011?t=Ph02kmXdq06d8MML9EqsLQ&s=19 ?


Posted by: dairy queen | Link to this comment | 03-28-22 5:26 PM
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Heh.


Posted by: Moby Hick | Link to this comment | 03-28-22 5:29 PM
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90 is the correct question. There was a camera on Smith the whole time but somehow we don't know how he went from laughing while his wife looked shocked to storming the stage. Did Jada glare angrily at him and say "you're gonna let him say that?" Did Will figure it out on his own? Release the Zapruder tape!


Posted by: SP | Link to this comment | 03-28-22 6:04 PM
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I can be a little slow to catch on but after having been married a few times I think I have learned a thing or two. If Jada gave him that look, he knew he had to do something or he would hear about it for the rest of his life. He apparently left his Series 4 De-Atomizer out in the car so a slap was the best he could do.


Posted by: Abe Speckle | Link to this comment | 03-28-22 6:41 PM
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I had my first Wordle fail! But I got Semantle in 17. The Lord giveth and the Lord taketh away.


Posted by: jms | Link to this comment | 03-28-22 7:23 PM
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I had my first Wordle failure weeks ago. But I'm still undefeated on Taylordle.


Posted by: Moby Hick | Link to this comment | 03-28-22 7:44 PM
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But my current Wordle streak (50) is longer than my Taylordle streak (44).


Posted by: Moby Hick | Link to this comment | 03-28-22 7:57 PM
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Now 51 and 44.


Posted by: Moby Hick | Link to this comment | 03-28-22 8:26 PM
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I mean, 45.


Posted by: Moby Hick | Link to this comment | 03-28-22 8:26 PM
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How often do we think Will and Jada say "bad marriage for life" to each other during the pandemic? I'm guessing more than once a week.


Posted by: Unfoggetarian: “Pause endlessly, then go in” (9) | Link to this comment | 03-29-22 5:40 AM
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So, I'm now allowed to get a second booster, but it's not recommended either way? Maybe I'll try again for a Moderna dose.


Posted by: Moby Hick | Link to this comment | 03-29-22 7:28 AM
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Maybe I'll wait until I'm 60, because that's better supported.


Posted by: Moby Hick | Link to this comment | 03-29-22 7:35 AM
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98: He wouldn't hear about it for the rest of his life if he, you know, got divorced.


Posted by: Unfoggetarian: "Pause endlessly, then go in." (9) | Link to this comment | 03-29-22 8:53 AM
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I've failed to complete Wordle twice since I started doing it in mid-January. I guess I'm less linguistically gifted than jms. I've also completed it one time that doesn't count towards my overall score because I was away from my usual computer at the time. My score will be completely shot when I go on vacation in mid-April, but I'm not going to bring my laptop with me just for that.

I was actually a tiny bit confused, because my personal math doesn't seem to match theirs, but I got sidetracked with actual work when I tried to figure out the problem and it's definitely not worth the effort anyway.


Posted by: Cyrus | Link to this comment | 03-29-22 9:10 AM
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106: You're only as supported as you feel, Moby.


Posted by: apostropher | Link to this comment | 03-29-22 11:03 AM
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The evidence cups me.


Posted by: Moby Hick | Link to this comment | 03-29-22 11:10 AM
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93: Yeah, that was my point about meeting some technical definition but not meeting any meaningful sense of the term. The thing I read said there was literally no other autoimmune effect, but it can also affect nail shape. But they're not prone to any infection or illness; it affects their lives in no way but aesthetically (with all the attendant self-image issues, but self-image issues are not a disability).

"Technically correct" is not actually the best kind of correct.


Posted by: JRoth | Link to this comment | 03-29-22 11:14 AM
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Yeah, I don't think that technicality is important or relevant, but at the same time there's a real difference between being bald as a woman and as a man. I'm not an expert here, but it doesn't seem wrong to me to consider say a major scar as a disability even though it's "just aesthetic." Disability is a really really big tent, but I don't see any particular reason to exclude hair loss for women as part of it.


Posted by: Unfoggetarian: "Pause endlessly, then go in" (9) | Link to this comment | 03-29-22 11:55 AM
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(That's not an "analogy" but rather an example to illustrate that "something that only affects your life aesthetically is ipso facto not a disability" doesn't seem like a clear rule to me.)


Posted by: Unfoggetarian: "Pause endlessly, then go in" (9) | Link to this comment | 03-29-22 11:58 AM
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The temperatures at the poles were at record highs last week, with the Arctic 30 degrees Celsius above normal, and the Antarctic 40 degrees above normal. I don't have any useful thoughts about this, but I'm having a hard time thinking about anything else.


Posted by: jms | Link to this comment | 03-29-22 12:15 PM
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YES. Do not bother thinking about anything else, including:

- the fact that the most-viewed story in, um... New York magazine?... is "The Cult of Adam Tooze." I do not intend to read it but I am subjecting myself to the AOC interview.


Posted by: lurid keyaki | Link to this comment | 03-29-22 1:22 PM
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I feel like the "ability" in disability isn't merely decorative--I think it's the core concept. I don't think it's narrowing it down to a small tent to say that people who have full capability in every phase of life but in some way deviate from aesthetic perfection are disabled.

I also think that some disability activists very much want the biggest tent possible while simultaneously insisting that society makes life unbearable for the disabled. I've seen a lot of this in COVID discourse, claiming that COVID is devastating to the disabled community, but basing that on stats that define disability as broadly as possible--if Pinkett-Smith got COVID, it would be an instance of how vulnerable the disabled are to the disease. It's sophistry, and I don't think it actually advances the cause.

there's a real difference between being bald as a woman and as a man

But it's an entirely socially-constructed difference, having nothing to do with cause. Going gray is also a real difference between the two, but that doesn't make gray-haired women disabled. And I'd hold that to be true even if the biological causes differed.


Posted by: JRoth | Link to this comment | 03-29-22 2:10 PM
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You might be giving too small a role to "aesthetics" in thinking about human flourishing, especially for women, especially for women in fields like acting, modeling, etc. where being looked at is a big part of the job description. I don't have strong feelings for or against alopecia as disability, but more broadly, I think disfiguring physical conditions that don't really cause physical impairment in the way that a neurological disorder would, but which almost invariably cause people to stare or act weird around you -- that's not nothing. You frequently will get some kind of accommodation (e.g. a nice wig) if you want social life to flow normally and you want to be able to do a job like, say, being a TV journalist.

I shouldn't wade into this, and certainly not at the end of the day, but...

Exactly how I feel! But also, if someone tells me a medical condition they have is "a disability," as a general rule I probably wouldn't make them explain to me why.


Posted by: lurid keyaki | Link to this comment | 03-29-22 4:56 PM
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Does that mean I should stop timing people who use the parking spots for the disabled to see how fast they can move?


Posted by: Moby Hick | Link to this comment | 03-29-22 5:09 PM
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I identify a little too closely with this issue because I still feel kind of uncomfortable post-mastectomy, even after all these years. (ie I expected to wear prosthetics at work and whenever I wanted to, but then I discovered they are kind of painful for me.) I wouldn't consider a mastectomy a disability, but it affects my life and I'm self-conscious about it.


Posted by: heebie | Link to this comment | 03-29-22 5:14 PM
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Maybe wearing one at a time would be a compromise between the pain and the self-conscious feeling.


Posted by: Moby Hick | Link to this comment | 03-29-22 5:50 PM
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Oh good, someone mentioned breasts. I feel obligated to link to this. https://vm.tiktok.com/ZTdmUy9cc/


Posted by: ogged | Link to this comment | 03-29-22 5:50 PM
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Whoever photoshopped the head made it too big by just a touch.


Posted by: Moby Hick | Link to this comment | 03-29-22 5:55 PM
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There are two kinds of commenters: those who click that link and those who don't.


Posted by: lurid keyaki | Link to this comment | 03-29-22 5:55 PM
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The link has no breasts.


Posted by: Moby Hick | Link to this comment | 03-29-22 5:57 PM
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Good to know that after all these years ogged's "someone mentioned breasts on the blog" notification script still works. Hats off to your robust code.


Posted by: SP | Link to this comment | 03-29-22 5:57 PM
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TikTok doesn't do closed captions so there's no way to know what is said.


Posted by: Moby Hick | Link to this comment | 03-29-22 6:01 PM
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Ogged, I was prepared to hate it and then I didn't. I laughed.


Posted by: heebie | Link to this comment | 03-29-22 6:12 PM
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Is it worth turning on the sound and taking the risk that I'll forget to turn it off and then when I play Pokémon Go during conference calls people will hear it?


Posted by: Moby Hick | Link to this comment | 03-29-22 6:46 PM
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Glad you liked it, Heebs. Everything about that guy says, "prepare to be annoyed," but then I laughed too.


Posted by: ogged | Link to this comment | 03-29-22 7:01 PM
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I have similar feelings about John Mulaney.


Posted by: Moby Hick | Link to this comment | 03-30-22 4:45 AM
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Jammies filled out something wrong in the photo order form for Hawaii, for dance class, because one of her classes isn't actually taking photos. We told her just to cross it out and turn the form in.

My nutter daughter (threw a fit, etc.) and then eventually whited out the entire dance form, scanned it in to hide the white out, and reprinted herself out a new one, so that she could fill it out properly.

She is a wee bit high strung. Kind of baffles me.


Posted by: heebie | Link to this comment | 03-30-22 6:55 AM
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I can't get my son to have any awareness that when he gives a piece of paper to someone else, they need to be able to read it. Which, to be honest, is probably a problem I deserve but still it grates.


Posted by: Moby Hick | Link to this comment | 03-30-22 7:54 AM
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Hawaii will someday be a terrific employee and a horrible boss.


Posted by: politicalfootball | Link to this comment | 03-30-22 8:22 AM
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Hey teo (and roger), did you see this piece about Ramadan in Anchorage? The detail about the hunter neighbor providing halal caribou (and more!) for one of the Muslim families was striking.


Posted by: lurid keyaki | Link to this comment | 03-30-22 8:56 AM
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I had not seen that! Very interesting, thanks for linking it. Greg Jones is very involved in local Democratic party circles and ran for state house a couple times.


Posted by: teofilo | Link to this comment | 03-30-22 9:12 AM
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Ramadan that far north has got to be a horror if it happens in June or July. Unless there's a special rule or something.


Posted by: Moby Hick | Link to this comment | 03-30-22 9:14 AM
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There is. They can use Mecca time. Apparently not everyone does though.


Posted by: teofilo | Link to this comment | 03-30-22 9:18 AM
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Some Jews use a similar cop-out, but the Jewish fasting holidays mostly happen to be at times of the year when the amount of daylight is reasonable so it's not as big a deal.


Posted by: teofilo | Link to this comment | 03-30-22 9:22 AM
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In December, do they have to go with the longer days in Mecca?


Posted by: Moby Hick | Link to this comment | 03-30-22 9:38 AM
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Presumably, but Mecca's pretty close to the Equator so they're not much longer.


Posted by: teofilo | Link to this comment | 03-30-22 9:46 AM
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Oh wait, I see what you did there.


Posted by: teofilo | Link to this comment | 03-30-22 9:50 AM
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I don't think I was hiding anything.


Posted by: Moby Hick | Link to this comment | 03-30-22 11:18 AM
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There was a structural ambiguity that wasn't part of the joke that misled me.


Posted by: teofilo | Link to this comment | 03-30-22 11:25 AM
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That's because the Earth is tilted. I can't fix that.


Posted by: Moby Hick | Link to this comment | 03-30-22 11:31 AM
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I guess I shouldn't say until I've tried.


Posted by: Moby Hick | Link to this comment | 03-30-22 11:37 AM
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I'm willing to accept that you're not Superman.


Posted by: teofilo | Link to this comment | 03-30-22 11:38 AM
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I think I should have to prove that. But even if I were, I'd need something to push against.


Posted by: Moby Hick | Link to this comment | 03-30-22 11:42 AM
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We fast according to mecha time.


Posted by: evil-alien-mecha sheep | Link to this comment | 03-30-22 11:58 AM
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re: 137

That's interesting, because in Scotland (same latitude as the southern end of Alaska) people often just go with local time, which makes for a very short window for eating in summer. Although I believe it's permitted to use a different timetable (Mecca, or maybe the central Mosque in Birmingham) most people don't.


Posted by: nattarGcM ttaM | Link to this comment | 03-30-22 12:09 PM
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Very few people live in that part of Alaska though. Anchorage is a bit north of Shetland.


Posted by: Unfoggetarian: "Pause endlessly, then go in" (9) | Link to this comment | 03-30-22 12:36 PM
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Tromsø uses Mecca time


Posted by: Unfoggetarian: "Pause endlessly, then go in" (9) | Link to this comment | 03-30-22 12:40 PM
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But the only Muslim in Greenland is hard core and just fasts for 21 hours!


Posted by: Unfoggetarian: "Pause endlessly, then go in" (9) | Link to this comment | 03-30-22 12:43 PM
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149, 150: Yeah, Southeast Alaska is significantly further south than the main population center around Anchorage. Up here we're really facing Scandinavian-type conditions.


Posted by: teofilo | Link to this comment | 03-30-22 12:58 PM
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Does that mean you get free health care?


Posted by: Moby Hick | Link to this comment | 03-30-22 1:00 PM
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This is the jacket for Scandinavian conditions.


Posted by: Moby Hick | Link to this comment | 03-30-22 1:01 PM
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154: We're still American where it counts.


Posted by: teofilo | Link to this comment | 03-30-22 1:03 PM
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Finland makes a nice jacket too, but the color is a shade of grey that I can't think of as anything but Nazi.


Posted by: Moby Hick | Link to this comment | 03-30-22 1:04 PM
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Well, you know.


Posted by: teofilo | Link to this comment | 03-30-22 1:05 PM
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Anyway, I think the Swedish coats would fit the Alaska lifestyle because you have back pockets for dead birds/squirrels.


Posted by: Moby Hick | Link to this comment | 03-30-22 1:15 PM
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They are indeed nice coats that would work well here.


Posted by: teofilo | Link to this comment | 03-30-22 1:22 PM
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Probably a bad idea to carry dead animals in the pockets. Because of bears, among other reasons.


Posted by: teofilo | Link to this comment | 03-30-22 1:23 PM
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Obviously it won't fit a bear.


Posted by: Moby Hick | Link to this comment | 03-30-22 1:23 PM
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They don't need pockets anyway.


Posted by: teofilo | Link to this comment | 03-30-22 1:25 PM
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I've never asked and didn't want to assume.


Posted by: Moby Hick | Link to this comment | 03-30-22 1:26 PM
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Unemployed and feeling real fucking hopeless.


Posted by: Eggplant | Link to this comment | 03-30-22 3:01 PM
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Hang in there, Eggplant. It's strange how insidious the unemployment-hopelessness is. Are you looking for work? Are there other complicating factors?

(I too am unemployed, albeit voluntarily, and basically doing the two unpaid full-time jobs of SAH parenting/housekeeping and writing fiction. Respectively, they are going pretty well and firing-level underperformance. It turns out that even if you are the only person who cares about your productivity, being unproductive causes so much stress and misery that it's not that much better than being unproductive at a paid job where you're making other people suffer, not that I would know anything about that la la la I've just heard things.)


Posted by: lurid keyaki | Link to this comment | 03-30-22 3:38 PM
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Am I looking? Technically, no. I can't even think about writing a resume without mentally collapsing.


Posted by: Eggplant | Link to this comment | 03-30-22 3:52 PM
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I'll leave my email address here if you want to drop me a line for motivational collaboration. I'm not saying it will succeed, because I also can't bear the thought of setting myself up for job-hunting (a resume, is that still a thing?), but I think it might actually be impossible to do it alone and I should definitely do it at some point.


Posted by: lurid keyaki | Link to this comment | 03-30-22 4:00 PM
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Thanks for the offer but making "facing the pathetic failures that make up my employment history" a social activity isn't going to help.


Posted by: Eggplant | Link to this comment | 03-30-22 4:13 PM
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No worries. I'll stop not-helping.


Posted by: lurid keyaki | Link to this comment | 03-30-22 4:17 PM
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You're still allowed to make up shit on a resumè but not on a CV.


Posted by: Moby Hick | Link to this comment | 03-30-22 4:38 PM
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Do you really want to work at the kind of place where they actually check your references anyway?


Posted by: Spike | Link to this comment | 03-30-22 5:24 PM
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"I told the recruiting agency that I was using CV as coefficient of variation, sir. It's not significantly wrong."


Posted by: apostropher | Link to this comment | 03-30-22 5:27 PM
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"That measurement is when 'hand stretched' and I can't repeat that now because I'm eating hot wings."


Posted by: Moby Hick | Link to this comment | 03-30-22 5:45 PM
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Anyway, sorry you are feeling down. Cock jokes are all I know to counter that, until it's safe to mail dogs to people.


Posted by: Moby Hick | Link to this comment | 03-30-22 6:18 PM
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Thanks. They work about as well as anything right now.


Posted by: Eggplant | Link to this comment | 03-30-22 6:32 PM
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Although, cocaine can be mailed. Probably help with the resume too.


Posted by: Eggplant | Link to this comment | 03-30-22 6:34 PM
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Madison Cawthorne can hook you up.


Posted by: teofilo | Link to this comment | 03-30-22 7:04 PM
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He's just mad because Ted Cruz sold him a baggie of oregano under false pretenses.


Posted by: Moby Hick | Link to this comment | 03-30-22 7:11 PM
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I've been thinking about pork pie hats and wondering if pork pies used to have a brim.


Posted by: Moby Hick | Link to this comment | 03-30-22 7:58 PM
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Very sorry to hear you're going through this now eggplant


Posted by: Barry Freed | Link to this comment | 03-30-22 8:09 PM
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Eggplant. Also very sorry. I need to look for a new job, but I'm employed, so that's a different experience. Is there anything like a private Twitter thread, teams/slack chat thing that unfogged folks looking for work could use to chat about their experiences and provide support and accountability? More asynchronous than zoom co-working, more private than unfogged.

Maybe it would not be helpful for Eggplant but others might like it. I know Barry and Tia did some stuff together. I find e-mail hard for that. My team at work has an entire Teams chat that is basically for water cooler conversations.


Posted by: Boatoniangirl | Link to this comment | 03-31-22 4:17 AM
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There's really only so much you can say about a water cooler. Though ours has hot water, which is probably wasting all kinds of energy but good for oatmeal.


Posted by: Moby Hick | Link to this comment | 03-31-22 4:21 AM
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182 You can set up DM groups on twitter (BTW mine is in the URL below).

Tia and I did remote coworking via Whatsapp video chat. It was enormously helpful to me (and her) and really helped me get through working during the pandemic.


Posted by: Barry Freed | Link to this comment | 03-31-22 4:37 AM
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156: We're still American where it counts.

Which is the sheets and which is the streets?


Posted by: JP Stormcrow | Link to this comment | 03-31-22 4:55 AM
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157: The word you want is "co-belligerent."


Posted by: Opinionated Baron Carl Gustaf Emil Mannerheim | Link to this comment | 03-31-22 7:01 AM
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I guess I always called in "Field Grey."


Posted by: Moby Hick | Link to this comment | 03-31-22 8:06 AM
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Sorry you're going through this, Eggplant. Don't be so hard on yourself. I just "celebrated" my 25th anniversary of being at the same job, and sometimes that seems like the greatest failure of all.


Posted by: peep | Link to this comment | 03-31-22 8:25 AM
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It could be much worse. A guy I used to work with (not closely) ran for a county office in a nearby county, won, and is now posting about a "conservative alternative to the AARP" on LinkedIn.


Posted by: Moby Hick | Link to this comment | 03-31-22 8:44 AM
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