I am pretty worried about how my ADHD will interact with being a sahmespecially with no Adderall continuing for another year. It's definitely made it more difficult getting ready.
I think I must have missed other comment threads but how did your trip go?
I was reading your post, and I got to the part about the insurance card, and it reminded me that I've been needing to request a refill for my prescription for at least a week now, and so I forced myself to stop reading, and called the pharmacy and sent a message to my doctor. Thanks for helping me finally get this done, heebie!
Is this experience with ADHD meds? What do you think it would be like without them?
1: Is that no adderall because of breastfeeding? No shame in breastfeeding for 6 months and then going back on a med.
I just checked mothertobaby.org, a website about meds for pregnant and postpartum women. There's another more technical one I'm familiar with, but I think that requires library access. It doesn't seem to say that Ritalin or adderall are no-go for breastfeeding women. Excreted in breast milk in small amounts.
OH MY GOD. It me. My brain feels like a radio that is flipping stations and it's because my kids interrupt every activity and every train of thought. "Pebbles fractured my brain" is how it's often expressed.
Everyone says "lol mom brain girl hormones" but no one ever says maybe mom is nuts because the only way she gets an uninterrupted train of thought is to invent a time travel machine while making coffee and paying the bills and checking email while someone natters on about BattleBots and go back and decide not to have kids.
3: This is with meds, yes. Actually, I haven't bothered to take them when I've been at the hotel or with my parents.
For me, the need for meds is super-contextual. Without meds, I'm kind of shut down around the house, and just trying to endure until I can escape in some form. With them, I can listen to the kids and throw my license out, but also actually fold 90% of a basket of laundry and fix some dinner for everyone.
1: Ile, the trip was mostly fantastic - thanks for checking in. What I mean is that my mom had no complications or anything serious, but she's had about 4 not-medically-serious extremely painful episodes, so she's had a roller coaster of five days. But I felt extremely competent and able to read her and anticipate what was going on, and ameliorate things where possible, and generally felt very beloved and appreciated. Lots of warm, loving moments, although also a lot of excruciating-pain along the way that contributed to the emotional intensity of the whole thing.
At this point, it does finally seem like all of the extremely painful detours have been resolved, and so they'll take another day or two to make sure she's on a steady course, and then she'll go home.
On the ADHD and parenting: the adjustment is rough, yes, but here are the mitigating things:
1. Like DQ said, the whole babies-being-a-delight thing is wonderful. (Ah, um, depends on the baby. But let's say yes.)
2. You're truly not going to be caught off-guard. Your expectations are properly low. It's still a lot to adjust to, but it's not going to be compounded by being blind-sided.
3. You'll get used to the fragmented state, so that it's your new baseline. When you're away from baby in the future, you'll experience it as a bonus-mental-clarity, not a tragic visit to your old self. (Despite how the OP reads.)
4. hooray for meds, when you can take them again!
8: I am so glad for you that the trip was fulfilling and you two got lots of love in, despite difficult circumstances, and that there's a stable trajectory in view. Three cheers for Jammies and the kids for doing all the things so you could do this.
1-4 here are super reassuring and helpful to think about, thanks.
3, 5: yes...my plan is to keep revisiting with my psych after month 6 but I would really like to do 1 year if I can. And I'm just not comfortable with taking the risk of a tiny bit of excretion in breast milk given how new these drugs are and how little we know about the developing brain. But I mean, this is all based on the idea that I'll be lucky enough to breast feed without problems! So we'll see.
Honestly, I have been doing without coffee either because of my insomnia and tiny bladder, so just being able to have some in the am feels like it will be a big celebration.
I also intend to demolish at least two pies, three cake, one sundae, a platter of milk sweets and a platter of Kaju Katli, and many bottles of juice and root beer post-partum. And I'm just trying to prevent hugeness at this point. I don't know how the women with gestational diabetes get through this.
9: I think amphetamines have been around for a while, but I totally understand your concern. If at a certain point you really think your mental hea,th is on the line, ai'm sure you and your psych will come up with a plan. I just hate when people are miserable and feel guilty about taking care of themselves.
A friend of mine described a friend whose kid would not latch and made herself miserable trying to pump, because it's so much better. The pediatrician sensibly said that babies need happy mothers, and if she was miserable pumping, she should stop.
10: yeah. My anxiety around that happening to me would be a lot less if the formula crisis didn't seem to be dragging on. A friend of mine talked me into stockpiling one can of infant formula mix in case I can't breastfeed now that I am in week 38, and it was....not that easy to get. I really hope I can happily donate it to the Bay Area crisis nursery in a couple months time. I only *found out* about the Bay Area crisis nursery because I wanted to have a donation target in place before I bought the can, since I feel bad about "hording".....though my friend has almost convinced me it's not hording on my part.
Even if you end up breastfeeding pretty much exclusively, having one can of formula around is very reasonable for emergencies or unusual circumstances. While the benefits of breastfeeding over formula in general are whatever the ambiguous research says they are, there is absolutely no evidence that there's any benefit to perfectly exclusive breastmilk as opposed to breastfeeding with the occasional bottle of formula when you're away from the baby for an afternoon or something.
I got lucky and had a super easy time breastfeeding, but still went through a can of formula what with this and that over the course of the first six months or so.
Also, OMG, week 38! Almost here! This is exactly the time of year my kids were born, and while it's lousy being pregnant in the hot weather, summer is good for a newborn. It's nice not having to worry about keeping the kid warm until they're a little bit bigger and more durable.
12 definitely makes me feel better and 13 is reassuring. I am lucky in that it's not super hot here in my corner of the East Bay right now....it sounds pretty awful in most of California. I thought this woild be the year we have and get a portable AC unit but I think we're holding out ok.
We tried 12 at one point and our baby was very WTF about the formula and wouldn't take it. We didn't really need to be using it so we didn't press the issue, but it wasn't something we could just swap in when we felt like it.
It's best to not force the issue. The only real protection against a baby with a gun is another baby with a gun.
15: We were recommended to give formula and bottles early, just a couple times. So that in case they were needed the baby had some familiarity. But yes, we went though a couple cans of formula in spite of 'exclusively' breastfeeding.
Good luck Ile!
Heebie, I am jealous of your non-patently time and meds but thank for you describing the brain fragmentation. Between my job and being a parent, I've never felt so ungrounded in myself and that might be why (but now what?)
(I'm looking for a therapist)
i was able to breastfeed although to be honest it was not that comfortable, i just have some hypersensitivity around skin contact and babies are understandably enthusiastic about the whole thing. but my body was a complete nope at pumping - pumps 21 years ago did not have the foreplay setting that babies thank god employ, apparently pumps these days are more emo. also pumps are just not your own lovely baby even if you determinedly look at your baby while pumping, get the kid to start you up and then switch to the pump, etc., very trick my body was like no fucking way not falling for that bs.
so we needed an alternative to me and --- confession! --- we didn't use formula. for the very occasional meal the better half mixed up fresh goats milk with water and i think rice syrup per a recipe he researched i frankly do not know where. and yes the first time the kid was presented with this situation he was nonplussed, but hungry and the better half i am sure employed the max suave "i am english, you are by extension english, our core temperatures are in no way affected" routine and so the kid was reportedly like ummm okay.
my favorite part of this whole thing was that my stepson (who was living with us at the time) and the better half came up with this plan and researched it together, including taste testing various brands of goats milk to determine the best.
i don't endorse this as a means of sustaining an infant by any means, we used it max once every week or two. the the kid was and is fine.
despite discomfort gotta say that breastfeeding wins on convenience alone, so much less crap to faff about with, so i hope it works great for you ile!!!
btw - would absolutely get a portable ac unit *now* along with some very good air filters bc the idea of being stuck in a hot dwelling during fire season with a newborn and no ac or air filtration jfc no fun whatsoever. get thee to a target pronto pronto!
I'm an uncle as of early this morning! Won't see the kid for a few weeks.
re: 15
We were the same. xelA just didn't touch formula. I think he might have had it once or twice, but it wasn't a success. However, we did start him on solid food super early because he was ready for it, and it made it a lot easier for me to feed him if J wasn't around.
21: I was thinking about being a great uncle, and I realized that this is one way to reach greatness without doing anything at all.
Neither of my kids had formula (no judgment, as bf was very easy for me, as was pumping), and Pebbles hated the bottle. She was a little older (9 months) when she started daycare, and she'd take in just enough to not dehydrate while I was away, and then nurse all night. She wasn't upset about it at daycare - just waiting for the goods on tap. That's why my brain broke.
I think the focus on exclusive breastfeeding is horribly misplaced. My sister had a very hard time - traumatic delivery, exceedingly stubborn baby - getting nursing established but so much of the messaging is "all or nothing", such that she blames herself for things like not doing enough skin-to-skin time (which is nuts.) "Exclusive" makes sense as a metric for researchers but not really for anyone else.
I don't want to get into it in detail, but our fucking lactation consultant was complete shit. Someone trained for the health of the baby instead of nursing over all else would have meant our baby avoided a stay in the NICU.
Our NCT leader and the lactation consultant were both terrible small-minded ideologues. It absolutely caused problems for us with the birth, and with breastfeeding. As it happened, the breastfeeding did end up working out just fine in the end, but not from the help of the consultant.
The only was to stop a lactation consultant with a gun is a baby with a gun.
25: Yikes!
27: Moby quit the NRA because they refused to stand up for the 2nd amendment rights of infants.
||
this is hilarious: I asked Jammies what kind of covid precautions he wants to take before we visit his family, and he said that his mom asked him to please stop testing.
|>
Now that Biden has covid, everyone wants to get it.
I had my baby today! Okay, technically yesterday! 19 hours of back labor, the last 6 hours of which was the most insane painful dissociative experience I have ever had despite two hits of fentanyl, and then just when I got an epidural, his heart rate kept dropping and not coming up so it went from 0 to finished C section in 40 bewildering minutes, but all's well.. I was consumed with guilt it was the drugs and my not breathing enough, but it turns out his umbilical cord got wrapped around him all bundled up in my hospital bed. The pain of the c section recovery has yet to hit me, I feel great. I was I am discombobulated at how cute he is. I should be sleeping but am a bit keyed up. I have a baby!!! We are not ready at all!! But he's so cute!!!!
Congratulations!
Welcome to the world, Ile de Ile!
OMG!! Congratulations!! That's a scary sequence of events but I'm so happy for you!
Congratulations and best wishes for a speedy recovery.
Thank you everyone!
34: is Idli too weird of a pseud?
45: it was so scary! Being able to hear that beep beep is so reassuring until it's not.
Congratulations, Ile, what wonderful news!
Congratulations!
41.2: No. You've earned full naming rights!
Oh hooray! You did it! There will be very wonderful cuddles for years to come.
Congratulations, Ile. Was your partner able to be there with you? Either way, you made it through!
Hooray Idli! And congratulations to you! Being not-pregnant-anymore is the best feeling ever, especially when you get a snuggly baby out of it too.
They are much more durable than they seem -- all sorts of random idiots have babies and take care of them successfully. So whatever you do will be fine.
Hooray Ile! Hooray baby! Hooray healthy baby and healthy mama! So happy for you and glad that a roller-coaster and scary birth process ended up in a wonderful place. All best wishes for your continued good health and recovery.
Hooray Ile! Hooray baby! Hooray healthy baby and healthy mama! So happy for you and glad that a roller-coaster and scary birth process ended up in a wonderful place. All best wishes for your continued good health and recovery.
Hooray Ile! Hooray baby! Hooray healthy baby and healthy mama! So happy for you and glad that a roller-coaster and scary birth process ended up in a wonderful place. All best wishes for your continued good health and recovery.
I think Cry Wooter is still available.
Congratulations! Enjoy your new little person.
wow BABY!
remember to ignore most advice especially anything from judgy media.
Don't trust legends either. Wolves will raise a baby, but they are all Scientologists.
Congratulations Ile, hello baby!
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Ann has really come down in the world?
67: Seems more like a lateral move, all in all.
I had to check. She's still blogging. And it is still awful. In a more benign timeline, her work would be really funny, but in this one ...