I got laid off on Friday morning, along with several thousand of my coworkers at Google. Finances are fine and I have what (currently) feels like a stupidly large amount of severance, and I can't technically start a new job until April, so I have a startling amount of enforced idleness on my hands. More than I've had since the summer between high school and college, I think. Ugh, weird.
Sorry to hear it, Nathan. Coincidentally, this article crossed my feed yesterday.
https://news.stanford.edu/2022/12/05/explains-recent-tech-layoffs-worried/
1: ugh sorry to hear that, Nathan. We are facing something similar in my household as of Thursday. 140 from Tim's site. Basically, his entire functiional group.
Very sorry to hear that Nathan and BG
I'm more sorry than chill but less sorry than Barry.
The actual order goes Chill, Moby, me, Barry.
Sorry to hear it, Nathan (and Tim, too.) Any hobbies you've been neglecting that could occupy you until April?
Sympathy for Nathan , BG, and Tim, and hoping something better comes out of this.
I went to a chess club and played casual chess games for a few hours today. I haven't played that much in well over 30 years. I had a bit of a headache by the time I left, but I guess I enjoyed it.
huge sympathy nathan & bostonienne!
if you are in sf nathan you could pitch in on our household move truck arriving thursday a.m. 😳😳😳 🤣🤣🤣 we have all achieved exhausted delirium!
10: Did you raise any money for your high school chess club??
12: I suppose this is a good opportunity to clear up any confusion about my high school chess club budget. We did have some money that we earned through our donut sales. But we didn't get anything from the school or the county Board of Education, or the Minister of Culture.
Sorry, Nathan and BG. I know at least one other person locally who was affected.
I injured my knee badly on Saturday while skiing. Sports doc said my MCL is mostly gone, but the ACL is there ("there is a drawer stop.") and I managed to bruise the hell out of the outside of my knee despite not falling on it which suggests my bones smacked into each other. Anyhow the lesson is apparently don't do a warm up run on a green because trying to ski slowly is what caused this.
Assuming the doctor is right, it's six weeks in a brace. It's so comically swollen right now though.
1,3: Layoffs are the worst; I'm glad the hear that you're well set up to financially tide you over. It's so hard not to take it personally - I know that my self-worth took a beating, even though it was another broad round of layoffs, not individually targeted.
Having a "can't start sooner than April" is a very interesting twist; I hope that a firm date lets you enjoy some of the free time, instead of worry weighing down the unstructured time you're able to experience now.
16 from one knee injury patient to another, best wishes on a speedy recovery
Yikes, hard times for the Mineshaft! Wishing the best for all victims of layoffs and knee injuries.
I've been dealing with some generally mild amount of lower back pain/stiffness for a few months which occasionally manifested as hip/buttocks pain--almost certainly nerve-related. Been doing PT (mostly stretching) and am on schedule to get a cortisone injection (diagnosis is L4-L5 spondylolisthesis). But then late last week it blossomed into what seemed to be a full-fledged attack of sciatica--shooting pains down one leg when I walked. Almost completely debilitating for a few days and not really knocked down by tylenol/Advil at its peak; but fortunately mostly subsided when sitting. Slowly getting better the last few days, but not much fun. Had a tragicomic misunderstanding with my doctor as last Friday I was expecting to get the previously-discussed and scheduled shot. Timely! But it turned out to merely be an appointment to make final decision on shot vs. surgery and review MRI results (had previously had an X-ray which clearly showed the problem). Shot now scheduled for early March (they need to do it under CAT scan which makes sense).
I think mostly due to general deterioration and weight (down a lot the last few years, but I suspect damage done. However, I had a pratfall/birdwatching injury late this summer that may have contributed. Long story short is stepped on to an admittedly sketchy looking gazebo to get a better look at a shorebird at a farm pond. Sure enough a board gave way. It had looked to just be a few inches off the ground, but I went in all the way up to one hip. Turns out it was covering an old well. Back did not start hurting then, but bruised my thigh pretty good. Back thing developed about a month later.
Fun and games.
Life lessons: stay flexible, and don't fall into a well.
My friend came by my HOA's exercise room to figure out what kind of start I could make to strength training. (His first comment: "It's... better than nothing.") So far I've done two days of light but varied exercises, and it improved my mood a lot.
Life lessons: stay flexible
Don't know if you are interested in a spendy way to do that, but if you live in a large city, there's some chance that there's an assisted stretching chain near you. The one near me is Stretchlab but I think the east coast chain is called something else. I absolutely love assisted stretching, so I signed up the moment I heard about it. Basically, beautiful young people stretch you out for half an hour or an hour. It costs, though. About the same as a massage, maybe? I've been going weekly for a year and feel a lot more mobile. Literally the same evening I went to the first one, a lot of my chronic aches eased.
I know I could stretch by myself, but I could also do yoga or pilates or PT by myself and none of that ever happens.
Getting old, I am realizing, is akin to a science experiment. I am learning stuff all the time. My diagnosis is cervical spondylosis -- meaning deformities in my neck -- and I haven't been able to sleep more than three hours at a stretch for two months now.
The pain migrates all over my upper body, but it started out mimicking a shoulder injury that I have been treating for a couple of decades with light physical therapy and muscle relaxers. When that didn't work this time, we tried steroids and NSAIDs. And when that didn't work, I went to a specialist (who found no interesting damage except the aforementioned deformities) and back to physical therapy with the new diagnosis.
It's been really bizarre - or interesting, if you take a detached science-experiment attitude about it. The pain migrated all over my upper back and chest, but I think I have largely solved the original problem while developing an entirely new problem with my upper back. My current theory is that I have done so little to exercise my neck/back as an adult that it is responding poorly to my attempts to strengthen it now.
Do your damned facepulls, people, so you can fuck up yourself properly while skiing.
Speaking of science, you can't just have one person fall in a well and assume there's a negative association of health and falling into wells. Need more cases.
I have a friend who runs one of those assisted stretching places! Or I assume it's the same thing though I had not heard such a clear description of what happens there before. (Friend: neither young nor beautiful. Maybe he's strictly on the business side). I went through a couple decades when every time I started in on some stretching I hurt myself, so I said, "chill, what the heck? Just don't stretch!" and I don't know if it has worked. I still hurt myself way too often, but not while stretching, at least.
Parachutes are routinely used to prevent death or major traumatic injury among individuals jumping from aircraft. However, evidence supporting the efficacy of parachutes is weak and guideline recommendations for their use are principally based on biological plausibility and expert opinion. Despite this widely held yet unsubstantiated belief of efficacy, many studies of parachutes have suggested injuries related to their use in both military and recreational settings... (BMJ)
it started out mimicking a shoulder injury
I hired a PT guy to come figure out what is going on with my knee. After close examination, he said 'this one small thing, but also, your body is remembering an old knee illness and doing that because it already knows how.' Then he instructed me on how to breathe to calm down my parasympathetic system. It was all a lot more woo than I expected from someone who came across as a relatively mainstream person. I'd fully expect it from a masseuse, but much less from this guy. Also, I did the breathing and my blood pressure went down, which surprised me as well.
and none of that ever happens.
I find pain really incentivizing, but I'm hoping to learn better discipline. My flexibility has improved a lot, and I find that a rewarding result of PT. Another science experiment thing: I had no idea whatsoever how limited the movement in my upper body had become.
I'm actually in excellent shape, though, from the waist down ... laydeez.
It is kinda nice to be able to look backward while reversing the car.
32: Indeed! I actually did recently notice, pre-diagnosis, that I was turning my body much more, instead of just my neck. I'm doing much better on that now.
The assisted-stretching chain around here is called Lymbr. Ironically, I had just gotten into doing that via work - they had someone from the chain come in to the office once a week and do sessions. So now with the layoff I've lost easy access to that. (That and the on-site gym are the things that are most immediately striking me as difficult to replace).
So many varied injuries in this thread! I'm sorry for your collective but interesting injuries.
But more importantly, the link in 29 is so weird.
Results Parachute use did not significantly reduce death or major injury (0% for parachute v 0% for control; P>0.9). This finding was consistent across multiple subgroups. Compared with individuals screened but not enrolled, participants included in the study were on aircraft at significantly lower altitude (mean of 0.6 m for participants v mean of 9146 m for non-participants; P≤0.001) and lower velocity (mean of 0 km/h v mean of 800 km/h; P≤0.001).
Conclusions Parachute use did not reduce death or major traumatic injury when jumping from aircraft in the first randomized evaluation of this intervention. However, the trial was only able to enroll participants on small stationary aircraft on the ground, suggesting cautious extrapolation to high altitude jumps. When beliefs regarding the effectiveness of an intervention exist in the community, randomized trials might selectively enroll individuals with a lower perceived likelihood of benefit, thus diminishing the applicability of the results to clinical practice.
Also I've never heard of these assisted-stretching chains before. Gosh cities are big.
29 is one of my favorite articles ever. I think I've put it up here a couple of times, but that wasn't me.
It's not weird. It's making a point.
Oops, that was me this time. Yes, it's parody.
The little pilates place by me didn't survive covid. And the big yoga studio was replaced with a vape store. Someone should try a stretching store.
There's also a store that's just vending machines. Demand for retail space is kind of slack.
17: if you have a big enough layoff, there's a duty to provide 60 days notice. They only have you show up for part of it. You could quit and start somewhere sooner, but then you wouldn't get the severance. I think the size of the layoff makes it a little bit easier than if it was more targeted. They actually had some good stuff moving forward, but Europe decided to axe everything. No feeling that he was tarwgeted as a low performer.
I fell out walking last Saturday on. The ice. 2x. The first one seemed lucky. The second time, my legs sort of splayed,open. It feels like a knot in my thingy. It's hard to walk briskly, and I can't figure out how to stretch it out. I was wondering if the only thing to do was some kind of massage.
I got a pedicure last week, and the owner told me that she's having a really hard time hiring someone. There are 2 issues. Locally, there was a problem where the State wasn't administering the exam for graduates for 18 months, so those people can't work, and there seems to be a post COVID exodus from the profession.
Good thing I still just chew my nails.
I keep on being vaguely surprised that I don't have any nagging injuries yet. But I'm spending the week skiing so I might be able to acquire some.
Tall people have worse problems usually.
Hopefully no ski patrol toboggan rides in your future!
37: BMJ publishes a joke paper pretty much every Christmas, though that is one of the best ones.
My son has been dealing with some social bullying in his friendship group at school, and something a bit more like actual physical bullying from one particular child in that group. It's amazingly stressful, and I'm not confident of any easy resolution.
Part of me wants to be a responsible parent and take it up with a mixture of other parents and the school, done in a gently gently sort of way. Part of me wants to just work hard on ensuring that he causes repeated extreme physical pain to the person or persons involved. I'm pretty sure the latter approach is the one that would _actually_ end the physical bullying,* but I'm not confident of his ability to execute it, and it could make the social issues worse.
I may be a basically peace-loving mellow type, most of the time, but I'm also of the opinion, acquired through hard lessons growing up, that the most effective approach to bullying is to break the face of the would be bully. But, "this is how you butt him hard on the soft part of the face when he grabs your shoulder" is fairly extreme advice for a 9 year old.
* xelA is physically very strong and robust, the issue is confidence in aggressively pushing back.
Sorry to hear about that, ttaM. There's a definite tension between what's considered ethical according to contemporary mores and what's likely to be actually effective in dealing with that sort of situation.
If he's nine, then even if he's strong and robust for his age, he's pretty unlikely to do the other kid any serious damage. And taking it up with the other parents and the school is unlikely to resolve the situation - they won't take bullying seriously at that age, at least not between boys, and if it comes back on the bullying kid via his parents then it might make the problem worse for xelA.
I would be inclined to say the latter approach is the way to go, but you need to hammer in to xelA that he can only hit back if the other kid's hit him first - and hit, not grabbed, not threatened, not mocked or made fun of, but actually struck; and that he has to warn the kid immediately in a loud voice "STOP HITTING ME NOW". After that he should do what you suggest, and it'll solve the problem.
50 confused me initially. It's a day spa kind of place. She doesn't need to hire another nail person; she needs a massage therapist, because hers who works part time is retiring.
And, of course, the other point is that he can't draw blood or leave visible marks. So headbutts to the nose etc, though they'd be effective, are definitely out.
Seconding 59. And I think you should be able to work on his confidence in the execution before then, what with your previous martial arts experience.
re: 59
I would be inclined to say the latter approach is the way to go, but you need to hammer in to xelA that he can only hit back if the other kid's hit him first - and hit, not grabbed, not threatened, not mocked or made fun of, but actually struck; and that he has to warn the kid immediately in a loud voice "STOP HITTING ME NOW". After that he should do what you suggest, and it'll solve the problem.
That is almost exactly the advice we've current given him, without specifically mentioning hitting, more just "pushing back" or "defending himself" leaving a bit vague the details (plausible deniability) but the warning and the voice, etc, in almost exactly those words.
But the next step, as mentioned, is for me to get a bit more specific about how to hit back.
Skiing has the highest ratio of "I heard you were injured" to "I heard you went X-ing last weekend" for any activity X I can think of. I say this despite skiing last weekend without any major injuries to the family.
As a parent of a kid that was doing the bullying, I do want to say that occasionally the parents will in fact be horrified and shut that shit down, and it's always a possibility.
I haven't skied in maybe a decade, and I've probably skied fewer than 10 times total. But the thing that made me feel done with it forever was the process of walking all over the place from the parking lot, to get tickets, when taking a break, etc, in those fucking ski boots that hurt your shins or feel weird or whatever. Just the worst. Plus the chair lifts are scary. Plus I don't find it that fun. I had a few more sentences of complaining that I just deleted because hey, you all seem to like it.
I've only skied once and I was like 19. It was fun but I wasn't that good at it.
Seconding 59. And I think you should be able to work on his confidence in the execution before then, what with your previous martial arts experience.
I recommend the movie The Paper Tigers. It won't help you sort out the questions, but it does have a very similar sub-plot, and it's a good movie.
Sympathies, Ttam. It's tough to be a parent when something's not going right for your kid.
Goddamn. The house next to mine, which was being gutted for renovations, just collapsed. Seems like nobody was hurt, but it did take out a chunk of our fence.
I do not think I needed this problem this week.
Given the way renovations work in this area*, my first thought was, "That's going to need a variance."
*If you knock a building down completely the new structure needs to conform to zoning rules which is almost impossible because most existing buildings don't**. But if you leave the frame you can gut and renovate and still be cleared for previously existing FAR, setbacks, etc.
**Although I think your city recently changed the rules to fix the 95% nonconforming paradox?
The real question is, "Was the house vaccinated for covid?"
59 seems about right. The Calabat was being bullied by a kid who the other kids described as having "anger issues", but the Calabat is a weirdo and wasn't offended by being *body slammed* * by this kid until the kid went after one of his girlfriends. Then they got a teacher, and the kids decided shunning was the best way to deal with it, but I'm pretty sure shiv taught him how to throw a punch.
65: when I walked into class the students said "skiing? Did you get a toboggan ride?"
* Well, I wasn't hurt, Mom.
Episode 200 from dumb ways that Jammies' high school admin makes decisions:
After school activities are a perennial problem because they exclude kids without transportation. At my high school, they just had an extra late bus, called the activity bus, but whatever. Instead, here, they try to cram extra-curricular activities into the regular school day. Ok, fine.
So anyone who wants to play soccer is all put in the a "soccer" class. There's a separate varsity and JV class, in two different periods. Then try-outs are in November. Whoops, maybe you're in the wrong class. So then everyone who is in the mismatched period needs to have their schedule moved around to go into the right soccer class. Sorry about your AP classes and everything - were you trying to learn something there?
I learned to ski with cross-country skis, then learned downhill and did mostly that, then decided I'd rather go cross-country skiing again, did that maybe once, then stopped skiing altogether for two decades, then a catastrophic drought meant opportunities to ski for someone who doesn't care enough to plan ahead started to dwindle. Maybe I'll go cross-country skiing this year.
75: Wow, that is ridiculous. Here they just don't care and the kids without transportation are out of luck.
An odd glitch on the sidebar, I see:
ajay comments
on Check Ins, Reassurances, and Concerns, 8/20
Going to the link/thread no comment, nor one in the most recent. Possibly there is an older 8/20 check-in thread confusing the software. But also odd that ajay would post there. (but every once in a while someone with a long memory will update a relevant past discussion when something new comes up.)
75: That's totally ridiculous. I vaguely recall having an activities late bus, but because my house was right off a main road and I was friends with my high school's athletic director, either he or one of my coaches typically dropped me off after games/meets and practices if I didn't get a ride with a teammate.
Somewhat related, after my parents' divorce when I was in third grade, the policy wrt extracurriculars and activities was that I could typically participate if I figured out transportation for myself (making arrangements with parents of my friends, etc). In retrospect, that's kind of messed up, right? It's not that my parents never drove me or attended games, but for the most part I had to handle logistics on my own.
I think we lost the ability to have comments on old posts here show up a couple of months ago. Just part of the enshittification of Unfogged.
I don't think I posted anything in an old thread today. And, yes, as Barry says, anything older than about a month is now effectively locked.
My parents handled our extracurriculars the same way. It was fine if we did them but they saw no reason they should be involved. If it was a particularly important event, we might let them know that they could come, but it was unlikely they would. I remember sortof missing them and sortof being relieved that I had no audience.
I have to say, I kinda think they were right about that. I get that the current expectation is that parent(s) go to all their kids things. I hope to dial that back to important games or events when Steady is bigger. It is his thing, not mine.
81: Was it an impersonator then? It definitely was there in the sidebar.
This site is still running on Movable Type 3.33, which was released in 2006. Half the comments are in a database, and half are in HTML files on the server. The server software it runs on is now also ancient. I can't even find someone to pay to move it all into a more modern system, and I just don't have the time to do it myself. If y'all know someone who has any experience with Movable Type, and enough programming/scripting chops to pull the HTML back into a database, let me know.
Our son was released in 2006 and we've started looking at colleges.
I was released from grad school in 2006.
I dropped out in 1996 and again in 2007.
I'm going back to school - specifically an evening community college class in Construction Management, which should be interesting. The only issue so far is that the teacher (a GC, so knowledgeable) seems to take up at least 5 minutes every time she speaks, about whatever in the industry has been brought to her mind by the previous statement. Not off-topic, indeed all useful info for me since it's from a world I'm not in, but it made the first session a bit agonizing since she spoke that way after every single student introduced themselves; and in office hours yesterday she behaved the same one-on-one. But it is mostly a project class.
My friend got an undergrad degree in construction management and moved to California to become an underwear model/fitness instructor/actor.
I don't really keep in that close of touch.