marrying fontana labs would not be funny marrying fontana labs would not be funny...
What you need to do is hang out in a coffee shop a lot with a bunch of your single friends. Since I assume you'd be the sarcastic, ambiguously gay one, you might end up with your former college roommate's hot sister, but only after she stopped being hot and started being kind of weird and creepy. Of course, you are also an academic, so it could be the case that your erstwhile partner is now a lesbian, which crushes your confidence and causes you to get into an on-again-off-again, semi-abusive relationship with a (formerly?) shallow woman with whom you apparently have nothing in common.
I never thought of myself as a Friends fan, but I guess I was.
It's looking increasingly likely . . .
I'm guessing your increasingly-likely-soon-to-be-ex doesn't read this blog? Or is this a whole new passive aggressive way of breaking up brought to us by the wonders of the blogosphere?
Anyway, condolences and good luck.
I won't be happy until everyone is single.
Maybe Fontana's exitura reads the blog, but only as a coincidence, and doesn't know that she's dating the person who posts as "Fontana"? That would be pretty cool, especially if she turned out to be a pseudonymous commenter.
Ben W--
That would not be so much "pretty cool" as "an even more annoying than usual Tom Hanks-Meg Ryan movie, or so I hear."
Labs--Sorry to hear that, really; I guess I'm hoping that in posting the news here you were looking for a lot of attempted funny.