He said he was looking for someone like himself, with breasts.
Y'know, I went and looked at the picture and thought, "That guy doesn't have breasts." Then I realized she meant "...like himself, but with breasts."
And the entire story was instantly about 1/10 as interesting.
The interesting question is how Ogged knows it to be true. (Given my views, I should say "what justification ogged has for believing it true.") Are we learning something about his silent co-bloggers?
I was expecting the person with breasts to be a grossly overweight man, and I was thinking that hijinks would ensue, but the actual story is kind of sweet.
how Ogged knows it to be true
You may have a point. From that picture, you can't tell whether she actually has breasts or not, only that he doesn't.
Ogged? Ido not know you much (if at all...) but, do you have a profile up on Salon that we should be aware of? If so, do tell...
Great, now I get to be the curmudgeon. I meant it's true that they're idiots, because, really, buying a toothbrush deserves more seriousness.
And no, I don't have a profile up on Salon. And, for the record, the alternative reading of "with breasts" didn't even occur to me. Clearly, I have an amateur dirty mind.
yup, ogged, you're in the minor leagues of dirty minds.
I was puzzled by the end:
And that's the story of the idiot who got an apartment, a wife, and a career, by responding to a Personals email.
because it sounded like he was the one who wrote the original add, saying he was looking for someone like himself with breasts.
Not that pondering this is worth my time. . .
pg, he did write the original ad, in which he described himself as an idiot. She wrote him an email telling him to come over, and he did.
Well, if they're idiots, it would stand to reason that the logic of the pronoun referents would get kinda confused in the telling of the story.
OTOH, Ogged, they *do* have dates... ;)
pg asked me out, I said yes, then...she stood me up. What's the deal pg?
Ogged, IIRC, like the woman in the story you just said "Come on over." Are you sure this isn't personal history?
I did say that, didn't I? Crap. But pg and I, we're not strangers. We comment on each other's blogs, I've seen her in her pajamas, she knows what kind of underwear I wear...come on!
But pg and I, we're not strangers....I've seen her in her pajamas, she knows what kind of underwear I wear
Is that like, "No man's a hero to his valet"?
I theorize that ogged's theorizing that the boy pg went to visit a week or two ago was Fontana Labs was an attempt to divert the suspicion that she was actually visiting him himself.
That's kind of you, Ben.
One year, several days, and counting...
Yoiks! Do pg, the bitch and I need to go to *not-Chicago* and stage an intervention?
The three of you, after a "year, several days, and counting?" We're talkin a mighty quick intervention.
One year, several days, and counting...
And I was complaining about a semester. But, ahem ...
And ogged, I suggested that you take me out, not that I come over and hang out. Don't you read my blog? The whole "hanging out" thing was one of CB's (many) fatal flaws.
And now ... I'm off for coffee with CB (to get my damn DVDs back)
Ogged, I say this as a (virtual) friend, but you need to step it up.
First, through a masterful display of passivity, you basically force profgrrrl to explicitly ask you out when she had been dropping hints so massive that even empathy-impaired Cheney fans pick them up.
Then, then when she does explicitly ask for a date you dig deep, channel Cyrano and respond with "sure come on over." That, friends, is one damp-paper-towel response.
This kind of thing drives me insane. Life is short. Profgrrrl, gged, you are herewith both invited to dinner at The Greens as my guests at 8:00 this Friday, the 4th. My hope is that the appeal of a free meal and this public shaming in your comments thread will overcome inertia.
The reservation will be for two, under the name "Franz Fanon."
under the name "Franz Fanon."
You are my very favorite conservative ever, baa.
San Francisco! Just the kind of town my near-gay ass wants to take a girl on a date. I'm game. See you there, pg?
my near-gay ass
Geez. and if you're straight, that's the worst part to turn gay.
I stage no interventions. I'm a whore, not a pimp. Ogged's sex life is his own problem.
Anyway, if we intervened successfully, we wouldn't be able to mock Ogged any more.
baa, you move me to tears, but bphd has a point: our ridicule might destroy its source.
Right, because if I do go on a date, everything will be honky-dory forevermore. Believe me, it would be a win for everybody. And if pg decides to meet me at Greens, we'll probably have to start a new blog to document the humiliation all around.
honky-dory? Is that the even less funky David Bowie record?
Funny what people pick up on. I was reading SnarkAttack today, and she wrote "hunky dory" and I thought, "that really ought to be honky-dory." So I slipped it in.
And if pg decides to meet me at Greens, we'll probably have to start a new blog to document the humiliation all around.
Intriguing invitation, but I don't fly across time zones for first dates. True, though, that the post-date blogging possibilities could be interesting.
And baa, you wouldn't be tagging along as chaperone?
And with that cold, final rejection, the Grand Effort to get pg and Ogged together comes to and end. Or does it? Is this merely the first chapter? Will Labs stew on the sideline or will he swoop in to form the apex of this non-dating triangle? Will we ever find out what time zone pg lives in? Will we discover that pg and Labs have been sitting in the same faculty lounge all along? Will we find out which people on this site actually know each other, and which (like the undersigned) just wandered in off the cyberstreet? Will w-lfs-n find a typo somewhere in this post? Tune in next week for the next episode of "You've Got Trackback: A Romantic Comedy the Characters Never Even Meet." Not that you'll be able to tell when next week is, since the comments don't have timestamps.
"in which the Characters Never Even Meet." I would like to publicly point out my restraint in not signing this one "Ben w-lfs-n."
Matt, those comments are classics of the form.
I think I can safely say that pg has crushed my soul once and for all. And, oddly, the only people I "know" around here are Unf and Bob, who, clearly, want nothing to do with me. Everyone else is cyber-met (except for occasional comments from friends).
Matt, those comments are classics of the form.
I'd like to thank my agent, and all the lovely staff at Six Apart... blush, stammer. All the time spent planning that wouldn't otherwise have been spent doing anything more productive, trust me. This post, on the other hand. (Also: I just noticed the hanging curveball for typo-mongerers in the first sentence of #30.)
I think I can safely say that pg has crushed my soul once and for all.
That's the way it always seems 45 minutes into the movie.
And, oddly, the only people I "know" around here are Unf and Bob, who, clearly, want nothing to do with me. Everyone else is cyber-met (except for occasional comments from friends).
Wow, not even Labsy or the CCC guy from South Carolina? There's always a possibility that I've met Labs but not as such. My crack staff is working on this question as we speak--or is it my staff on crack? I never know.
(Hanging curveball for apostropher in that last paragraph, I think....)
I wish I had noticed that typo before, but I've been busy arguing about the punchline to a ridiculous joke and listening to folk music. Alas.