Re: Ringing, part II

1

I've always been partial to: (1) "I'm Easy-E the one they're talkin about/ [n-word] rolled the dice and just crapped out," (2) "they put up my picture with silence/ my identity by itself causes violence," and (3) "Just a little bit of the taste of the bass for you / As you get up and dance at the LQ."

Don't know why.


Posted by: SomeCallMeTim | Link to this comment | 03-16-05 10:08 PM
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Are we talking about only hiphop rhymes?


Posted by: ogged | Link to this comment | 03-16-05 10:11 PM
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No, we aren't. Therefore, I nominate:

But oh you lords of ladies intellectual,

Tell us truly, have they not hen-pecked you all?

I fucking love that couplet.


Posted by: bitchphd | Link to this comment | 03-16-05 10:13 PM
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E: bow down, bow-wow, the big dog's in town/and them guts is the only thing this n**** pounds.


Posted by: FL | Link to this comment | 03-16-05 10:14 PM
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And I looked at it, and I thought a bit, and I looked at my frozen chum;

Then "Here," said I with a sudden cry, "is my cre-ma-tor-eum."


Posted by: eb | Link to this comment | 03-16-05 10:24 PM
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Generals gathered in their masses

just like witches at black masses


Posted by: Hank | Link to this comment | 03-16-05 10:28 PM
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But, if you want hiphop, then, as long as I'm in an LL mood:

risin', surprisin', advisin', realizin' that she's sizin' me up

her bikini--small; heels--tall

she said

she liked

the ocean

she showed me the beach, gave me a peach, and pulled out the suntan lotion.

Beautiful.


Posted by: bitchphd | Link to this comment | 03-16-05 10:30 PM
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re: 6

When I opened an unfogged thread on rhymes, Romantic couplets were sort of expected, but Black Sabbath was not.

One from memory-

It's been a long time, I shouldn't have left you

Without a strong rhyme to step to

Think of how many weak shows you slept through

Time's up, I'm sorry I kept you

And one I have to look up:

Time to turn back and descend the stair,

With a bald spot in the middle of my hair-

[They will say: "How his hair is growing thin!"]

My morning coat, my collar mounting firmly to the chin,

My necktie rich and modest, but asserted by a simple pin—

[They will say: "But how his arms and legs are thin!"]


Posted by: washerdreyer | Link to this comment | 03-16-05 10:50 PM
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mmm, Prufrock. I must go read it now, and purr.


Posted by: bitchphd | Link to this comment | 03-16-05 10:57 PM
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Among the ryhming lines I've always been partial to:

"Should I, after tea and cakes and ices,

Have the strength to force the moment to its crisis?

But though I have wept and fasted, wept and prayed,

Though I have seen my head [grown slightly bald] brought in upon a platter,

I am no prophet—and here's no great matter;

I have seen the moment of my greatness flicker,

And I have seen the eternal Footman hold my coat, and snicker,

And in short, I was afraid."


Posted by: eb | Link to this comment | 03-16-05 11:09 PM
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One more:

What is a party if it doesn't really rock?

What is a poet? all balls, no cock

What is a war if it doesn't have a general?

What's channel nine if it doesn't have Arsenio?

I just checked, and yes, and general and Arsenio almost rhyme.

What's alex haley if it doesn't have roots?

What's a weekend if you ain't knockin boots?

What's a black nation, without black unity?

What is a child who doesn't know pubery?

What is my label when I exit boom status?

What's menage-a-tois, or, that is

What is sex when you have three people?

What are laws if they ain't fair and equal?


Posted by: washerdreyer | Link to this comment | 03-16-05 11:10 PM
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Am an attendant lord, one that will do

To swell a progress, start a scene or two,

Advise the prince; no doubt, an easy tool,

Deferential, glad to be of use,

Politic, cautious, and meticulous;

Full of high sentence, but a bit obtuse;

At times, indeed, almost ridiculous—

Almost, at times, the Fool.


Posted by: bitchphd | Link to this comment | 03-16-05 11:11 PM
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[redacted]


Posted by: [redacted] | Link to this comment | 03-17-05 12:08 AM
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Also, I would totally give Prufrock the facial.


Posted by: FL | Link to this comment | 03-17-05 12:09 AM
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[redacted]


Posted by: [redacted] | Link to this comment | 03-17-05 12:23 AM
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Now I'm smellin like indo-nesia

bus stop full of fly bitches and skeezers

That's totally happened to me, too.


Posted by: alameida | Link to this comment | 03-17-05 1:53 AM
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Yeah right, no matter what, we air tight

So when you hear somethin, make sure you hear it right

Don't make a ass outta yourself, by assumin

Our music keeps you movin, what are you provin?

.....

Two auto-matoes, used to call me fatso

Now you call me Castro, my rap flows

Militant, y'all faggots ain't killin shit

Ooops cristal keep spillin shit, you overdid it homes

You in the danger zone, you shouldn't be alone

Hold hands and say it like me

The most shady, frankie baby, fantastic

Graphic, tryin to make dough, like jurassic

Park did quick to spark kids who start shit


Posted by: Walter Sobchak | Link to this comment | 03-17-05 6:18 AM
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Really irrelevant

Death comes sweeping through the hallway

Like a lady's dress

Death comes driving down the highway

In it's sunday best

but I woke up with that running through my head this morning.

ash

['I think it was fighting all those zombies.']


Posted by: ash | Link to this comment | 03-17-05 6:33 AM
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A bit of Dr Octagon (aka Kool Keith) at his most demented:

"Trip or slip or fall

Right into the earth pit, gamma ray toilet

Microbes on your earth shit

Dr. Ludicrous, I turn into a octapus

Grab eight species, isolate like an incubus

Convert with probes, green shit is on your earlobes

Attack what stomach with juice they call gastric

Alien bugs with sickle cell, get they ass kicked

Dermatologist examine more black cysts

Radiation butter pouring down your sinus, it's Dr. Octagon"


On the written page it misses his incredible "flow"...


Posted by: Matt McGrattan | Link to this comment | 03-17-05 6:55 AM
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To channel another thread

your a punk, your a drunk, your an old slut on junk...

you scumbag, you maggot, you cheap lousy faggot, merry christmas my ass, I pray god its our last.


Posted by: benton | Link to this comment | 03-17-05 7:15 AM
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Don't get smart or sarcastic

He snaps back just like elastic

Spare us the theatrics

And the verbal gymnastics

We break wise guys just like matchsticks

-Elvs Costello

Yeahhh, your majesty, word flash photography

Third class economy, blade slashed your artery

Nerve gassed anatomy, blurred past dramatically

Herbs hashed, my word splash packed agility

Never predictability

Maneuvers of mind fully designed cause I'm true to the rhyme

We do the sublime, crackin yo' backbone

Attackin you wack clones

Vernacular right and exact, capital rap zone

that come back verbal assault rifle (ahhhhh)

We fight like Stokely Carmichael

Nope! We just like you

We broke and ain't no tellin what we might do

Ain't no joke

Provoke the right to reverse to seek mercy

with the King Asiatic and Percy P

Ain't heard the worst of me, until your chest 3-D

Spit venom and burn your body like a STD.

-Jurassic 5


Also, in my freshman poetry class, a guy turned in a piece that rhymed Los Angeles and tarantulas, which I still think is just damn brilliant.


Posted by: apostropher | Link to this comment | 03-17-05 7:16 AM
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These are by no means the best rhymes ever. They have, however, gotten me through some tough times. I especially like the second, since it doesn't actually rhyme.

Woke of quick, at about noon,

Just thought that I got to be in Compton soon,

Got to get drunk before the day begins,

Before my mother starts bitching about my friends.

-- Easy E

666 the Number of the Beast,

666 the one for you and me

-- Iron Maiden


Posted by: pjs | Link to this comment | 03-17-05 7:24 AM
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#13, yes, Humpty's verbal loopiness is a pure pleasure. Agreed.


Posted by: bitchphd | Link to this comment | 03-17-05 7:38 AM
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For pure cultural relevance:

Will Smith don't got to cuss in his raps to sell records

well I do, so fuck him and fuck you too

you think I give a damn about a grammy

half of you critics can't even stomach me, let alone stand me

"but slim, what if you win, wouldn't it be weird"

why? so you guys can just lie to get me here

so you can sit me here next to Britney Spears

bullshit,Christina Aguilera better switch me chairs,

so I can sit next to Carson Daly and Fred Durst

and hear em argue over who she gave head to first


Posted by: diddy | Link to this comment | 03-17-05 7:51 AM
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Great topic, and one that I feel unequal to.

Restricting myself to classic couplets:

I got nothin to lose, much to gain,

In my brain, I got a capitalist migraine.

But the enemy is not your brother

It's that other muthafucka

From frustration, first inclinication

Is to become a monk and leave the situation

I had to go to college ‘cause I am an intellectual

I only sleep with ladies cause I am heterosexual

We can moan and groan until your mom comes home

And you'll be calling me Al "Dope" Capone

Dumb motherfucker, try to roll on me, please!

I'm protected by a thousand MCs

And, as a testament to the power of blank verse:

I got a letter from the government the other day

I opened it, and read it, it said they were suckers.


Posted by: baa | Link to this comment | 03-17-05 8:05 AM
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Oh, I remembered the best of all time. Here it is:

Elvis was a hero to most

But he never meant shit to me you see

Straight up racist that sucker was

Simple and plain

Motherfuck him and John Wayne

-- Public Enemy

Granted, there's only one rhyme there: "plain" and "Wayne." But saying about Elvis "Motherfuck him and John Wayne" is just really, really beautiful.


Posted by: pjs | Link to this comment | 03-17-05 8:11 AM
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A newie, but a goodie:

Catch me with a sack of dro, reaching for the strap below

I'm with some nasty hoes, eating pistachios

Y'all driving Subarus, stuck in your cubicles

I'm stuck in the air with weed crumbs under my cuticles

Also, a few tracks later, my favorite lyric on that disc:

My nigga Big Boi said, watch 'em as they gawk and they gander

You can follow or lead like Commander Picard

You can have The Whole World

Or be satisfied with the boulevard


Posted by: Joe Drymala | Link to this comment | 03-17-05 8:18 AM
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Everyone has their favorites, don't they? One that runs through my head far too often:

Because she's addicted

To what the dick did

And the ever-classic:

Bass! How low can you go?

Death row. What a brother knows.

Once again, back is the incredible, rhyme animal

the incredible D, Public Enemy Number One

'Five-O' said, 'Freeze!' and I got none

Can I tell 'em that I really never had a gun?

But it's the wax that the Terminator X spun

Now they got me in a cell

'cause my records, they sell

'Cause a brother like me said, 'Well...

...Frarrakhan's a prophet and I think you ought to listen to

what he can say to you, what you ought to do.'

Follow for now, power to the people, say,

'Make a miracle, D, pump the lyrical'

Black is back, all in, we're gonna win

Check it out, yeah y'all, here we go again

The cell/sell couple is another example of Labs' "same thing" rhyme scheme. I've always loved it.


Posted by: Chopper | Link to this comment | 03-17-05 8:20 AM
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Throw your shitty drawers in the hamper

Next time come strapped with a fuckin pamper

(While looking for the previous couplet I went to a page that crashed my computer--but before it did I could see that down the side was a link for "Printable lyrics for Clan in da Front." Not bloody likely.)

Re 13: I stipulated an answer to that question a little while ago, when it became necessary to define a lot of concepts precisely in order to convey to w-lfs-n how my name is pronounced.


Posted by: Matt Weiner | Link to this comment | 03-17-05 8:21 AM
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I have no idea what the original song was, I heard this on a mash-up, but Missy Elliot manages to pull off:

Haters, I flip the bird

So what? ain't scared

It kills me.


Posted by: Chopper | Link to this comment | 03-17-05 8:22 AM
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OK, about 28; despite what the lyric sheet it doesn't sound to me like he says "incredible" twice. Any theories about what he does say? Sounds kinda like "uncattable" IIRC.


Posted by: Matt Weiner | Link to this comment | 03-17-05 8:25 AM
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Ooh, I was looking through my archives for my review of Sky Captain and the World of Tomorrow and I ran across this (division Very Old School):

George Penny's renters, they come into town, With their hands in their pockets, and their heads hanging down, Go in the store and the merchant will say: "Your mortgage is due And I'm looking for my pay."

Goes down in his pocket with a trembling hand --

"Can't pay you all but I'll pay you what I can."

Then to the telephone the merchant makes a call,

They'll put you on the chain gang

If you don't pay it all.


Posted by: Matt Weiner | Link to this comment | 03-17-05 8:36 AM
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For you arty types, from "Could I Leave You," by Sondheim:

Could I bury my rage

With a man half your age in the grass?

Bet your ass.


Posted by: Joe Drymala | Link to this comment | 03-17-05 8:41 AM
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There is beauty in extreme old age--

Do you fancy you are elderly enough?

Information I'm requesting

On a subject interesting:

Is a maiden all the better when she's tough?


Posted by: ben w-lfs-n | Link to this comment | 03-17-05 8:43 AM
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This is a great, great thread. And as someone who's only heard one rap album all the way through, I thank you all. I was having trouble recalling my favorite rhymes, but Weiner's last reminded me of one, from Doc Boggs.

Come all you good time people,

While I have money to spend,

Tomorrow might be Monday

And I neither have a dollar nor a friend.

"Tomorrow might be Monday," by itself, is brilliant.


Posted by: ogged | Link to this comment | 03-17-05 8:46 AM
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Also, I really like the rhyme at the end of the second verse of Robert Wyatt's Sea Song. The verse as a whole is (from memory so it might not be completely accurate, and I'm not sure where the line breaks actually fall):

Joking aside, when you're drunk you're terrific

When you're drunk I like you mostly late at night

You're quite all right

But I can't understand the different you in the morning

when it's time to play

At being human for a while

Please smileBecause you always think that the rhyme will be "play/day", and there's a noticeable pause between "while" and the beginning of the phrase "please smile", in which you can be surprised to yourself, but then it all gets tidied up. Very nice.


Posted by: ben w-lfs-n | Link to this comment | 03-17-05 8:49 AM
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By Peter Blegvad, an excellent source for good rhymes: "Everyone's too nice to me / the way Vincent Price would be / with midnight coming on".


Posted by: ben w-lfs-n | Link to this comment | 03-17-05 8:54 AM
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Re: Gilbert & Sullivan, I once heard someone refer to the architect Philip Johnson as "The very model of a generally major modernist," which I thought was pretty clever.


Posted by: Joe Drymala | Link to this comment | 03-17-05 8:55 AM
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#33 is fantastic, and puts me in mind of Dorothy Parker:

Byron and Shelley and Keats

Were a trio of lyrical treats

The forehead of Shelley was cluttered with curls

And Keats never was a descendant of earls

And Byron stepped out with a number of girls

But it didn't impair the poetical feats

of Byron and Shelley, Byron and Shelley, Byron and Shelley and Keats

There's also this one:

Higgeldy Piggelty, my red hen

She lays eggs for gentlemen.

But you cannot convince her, with gun or lariat

To come across for the proletariat.


Posted by: bitchphd | Link to this comment | 03-17-05 8:59 AM
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His eyes are quickened so with grief

He can watch a grass or leaf

every instant grow;

Ok, the rhyme itself isn't that interesting.


Posted by: ben w-lfs-n | Link to this comment | 03-17-05 9:03 AM
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w-lfs-n, you're quoting, without irony, the Mikado? Please, please let her be a shrew....


Posted by: SomeCallMeTim | Link to this comment | 03-17-05 9:03 AM
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Leaves, like the things of man, you

With your fresh thoughts care for, can you?


Posted by: Joe Drymala | Link to this comment | 03-17-05 9:04 AM
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Think you're really righteous? Think you're pure in heart?

Well, I know I'm a million times as humble as thou art


Posted by: eb | Link to this comment | 03-17-05 9:05 AM
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eb --

Even Ezekiel thinks that my mind is gone.


Posted by: Joe Drymala | Link to this comment | 03-17-05 9:06 AM
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Oh dude! Hopkins rules!


Posted by: ben w-lfs-n | Link to this comment | 03-17-05 9:06 AM
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Ogged, I don't want to be a little bitch, but I always thought that was "need money." The song is fucking awesome regardless.


Posted by: Matt Weiner | Link to this comment | 03-17-05 9:07 AM
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My favorite of those is from "It's All About The Pentiums":

Fella, I bet you're still livin' in your parents' cellar

Downloading pictures of Sarah Michelle Gellar

And postin' "Me too!" like some brain-dead AOL-er

I should do the world a favor and cap you like Old Yeller

You're about as useless as JPEGs to Helen Keller


Posted by: Joe Drymala | Link to this comment | 03-17-05 9:08 AM
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w-lfs-n, you're quoting, without irony, the Mikado? Please, please let her be a shrew....

Tim, I only know it from Richard Thompson's 1,000 Years of Popular Music, an amazing album and reputedly even more amazing live show, on which he sings that song in a duet with Judith Owen. It's pretty funny; they do a really over-the-top rendition (or so I assume since it's the only rendition with which I'm familiar).


Posted by: ben w-lfs-n | Link to this comment | 03-17-05 9:10 AM
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And if you remain callous and obdurate, I

Shall perish as he did, and you will know why,

Though I probably shall not exclaim as I die,

"Oh, willow, titwillow, titwillow!"


Posted by: baa | Link to this comment | 03-17-05 9:10 AM
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That is Bach, and it rocks,

It's a rock block of Bach

That he learned in a school

Called the school of hard knocks.


Posted by: Joe Drymala | Link to this comment | 03-17-05 9:19 AM
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Now, i'm a liberal but to a degree

I want everybody to be free

But if you think i'll let Barry Goldwater

Move in next door an' marry my daughter

You must think i'm crazy


Posted by: Joe Drymala | Link to this comment | 03-17-05 9:20 AM
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Actually, you can come up with a whole mess of 'em from the Anthology of American Folk Music:

Buell Kazee, "The Railroad Boy"

He went upstairs to give her hope
But found her hanging from a rope

brrrr.


Posted by: Matt Weiner | Link to this comment | 03-17-05 9:20 AM
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Matt, I always heard the "bring the noise" bit as

once again back is the incredible,

the rhyme animal,

the uncan-able

D...

Uncannibal? Uncanny-ble?

But that reminds me of my favorite PE rhyme:

Mandela/Cell-dwella

which I've noted here before.


Posted by: FL | Link to this comment | 03-17-05 9:22 AM
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Matt, you mean you think "be Monday" is "need money?"


Posted by: ogged | Link to this comment | 03-17-05 9:23 AM
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[redacted]


Posted by: [redacted] | Link to this comment | 03-17-05 9:24 AM
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54: Yes.

55: How? Dense, pls expln.


Posted by: Matt Weiner | Link to this comment | 03-17-05 9:26 AM
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Just a little more from Humpty:

I like the girls with the boom

I once got busy in a Burger King bathroom


Posted by: Walter Sobchak | Link to this comment | 03-17-05 9:30 AM
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Oh, and:

No two people will do it the same

You got it down when you appear to be in pain


Posted by: Walter Sobchak | Link to this comment | 03-17-05 9:32 AM
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Labs --

I love the way he sings "underpants" in that song.

OINdapants.


Posted by: Joe Drymala | Link to this comment | 03-17-05 9:34 AM
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Matt, I'm pretty sure it's "be Monday." A limited google sampling seems to agree: "be Monday," "need money."


Posted by: ogged | Link to this comment | 03-17-05 9:42 AM
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Matt, I thought "tenacious D" was a phrase used by Marv Albert, then taken up as the band name for JB and KG.

"Buttress of Windsor." Heh.


Posted by: FL | Link to this comment | 03-17-05 9:42 AM
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Joe-- yeah, that totally gets me, plus the fact that "underpants" is like the least sexxxed-up word evah.


Posted by: FL | Link to this comment | 03-17-05 9:44 AM
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Small. Seasoned. Curlies.


Posted by: Joe Drymala | Link to this comment | 03-17-05 9:44 AM
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Hey Joe, this is waaaaay OT, but your reference to Flip Flock Rock by Outkast gave me a minor epiphany. It occurred to me for the first time just how unbelievably juvenile and lowest-common-denominatoresque the whole "flip-flopper" campaign against Kerry was. It's sort of breathtaking that that phrase was a major part of the lexicon of our most recent presidential election. Stunning.


Posted by: Walter Sobchak | Link to this comment | 03-17-05 9:47 AM
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Once again, back is the incredible, rhyme animal

the incredible D, Public Enemy Number One

This was a puzzler for me as well. I heard it variously as

untenable, untameble, and un-sellable, and I never knew what to make of it. Repeating "incredible" twice is a bit weak, we'll have to confess. Also, isn't it sad how Ice-T kind of faded away as a rap influence? It's all Biggie and Tupac, and their assorted posturing. Please. That invicible shit don't work. Throw you in the joint you'll be coming out feet first.

FL, what's you recommendation to Tenacious D neophytes?



Posted by: baa | Link to this comment | 03-17-05 9:48 AM
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Walter --

Digby wrote a blog entry at one point about how that "flip-flop" stuff was intended to evoke the image of a flaccid penis.


Posted by: Joe Drymala | Link to this comment | 03-17-05 9:48 AM
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That would not surprise me even one bit.


Posted by: Walter Sobchak | Link to this comment | 03-17-05 9:51 AM
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Yeah, I've always hear "uncannable," but every lyric site I've looked it up on has "incredible," so I went with it.


Posted by: Chopper | Link to this comment | 03-17-05 9:53 AM
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FL--How 'bout that? Everything is connected.

Ogged--Wow. The beginning of the song is online (Country Blues--603), and though he doesn't pronounce the 'd' it does sound like he's saying 'b'. That's even cooler than I thought.


Posted by: Matt Weiner | Link to this comment | 03-17-05 9:57 AM
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Matt, I just listened to a version he recorded much later (and much slower) and in this one he says "be Sunday" and "my neither have a dollar nor a friend." Fun.


Posted by: ogged | Link to this comment | 03-17-05 10:02 AM
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Oh man... House of Pain:

Feel it, funk it

Amps in the trunk

And I got more rhymes than there's cops

at a Dunkin Donuts shop

Sho 'nuff I got props

from the kids on the hill

Plus my mom and my pops

....

I'll serve your ass like John MacEnroe

If your girl steps up, I'm smackinaho

Word to your moms, I came to drop bombs

I got more rhymes than the bible's got psalms

....

I'm the cream a tha crop, I rise to the top

I never eat a pig cause a pig is a cop

Or better yet a terminator

Like Arnold Schwarzenegger

Tryin to play me out like as if my name was sega


And good old Kid Rock:

What you hoes wanna do

One at a time or all at once

I'll still roll through your whole crew

Like a south bound trucker

Hoss and mother fuckers take shorts

mother fuckers take a loss

And when you step with your anger

I'm like the robot from Lost in Space

(Danger Danger)


Posted by: Walter Sobchak | Link to this comment | 03-17-05 10:05 AM
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uncannable

Hmm. I always heard it as "young cannibal."


Posted by: apostropher | Link to this comment | 03-17-05 10:07 AM
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The reference to Will Smith above (#24) forces me to admit that I love the following lines:

Women used to tease me

Give it to me now nice and easy

Since I moved up like George and Wheezy

Cream to the maximum I be askin' 'em

Would you like to bounce with the brother that's platinum.

First, I think it would be a much better world if people regularly referenced career advancement as "movin up like George and Wheezy." Second, it's somehow comforting (in the way that small, everyday defeats are comforting) to realize that I live such a banal life that some part of my dreams can be circumscribed by Will frigging Smith referencing The Jeffersons.


Posted by: SomeCallMeTim | Link to this comment | 03-17-05 10:14 AM
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Ok, that's it, I have to go put Humpty on now.

If we're talking blues lyrics, by the way, my fav is:

I want a little sugar, in my bowl

I want a little sweetness, down in my soul.

Whatsa matter daddy, come on, save my soul,

Drop a little sugar in my bowl.

In contrast to all those clever boy fuckme rhymes, the simplicity of that is just breathtaking.


Posted by: bitchphd | Link to this comment | 03-17-05 10:15 AM
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Yeah, but that's so dirty.


Posted by: ogged | Link to this comment | 03-17-05 10:17 AM
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Best "Will Smith" rhyme:

An evil doctor shouldn't talk a lot about his feelings

My hurt and my pain don't make me too appealing


Posted by: baa | Link to this comment | 03-17-05 10:17 AM
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I really like:

Oh I think I'm going back down south

People where the weather suits my clothes

Lord I think I'm going back down south

Ohh, where the weather suits my clothes

Yes you kow I've been running round in Chicago so long

Ohh, 'till I'm almost done frozeThough the "weather suits my clothes" part also shows up in Everybody's Talkin' and probably a million other places as well.


Posted by: ben w-lfs-n | Link to this comment | 03-17-05 10:21 AM
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I know. Ain't it great? Take that, boys.


Posted by: bitchphd | Link to this comment | 03-17-05 10:21 AM
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Really, it all begins with this from RUN DMC:

I'm the king of rock, there is none higher

Sucker MC's should call me sire

To burn my kingdom, you must use fire

I won't stop rockin' till I retire

The genre of rap songs that consist of rhymes about how good one is at coming up with rhymes is, I think, the best in all of literature, especially now that that Foer guy has apparently destroyed the novel.


Posted by: | Link to this comment | 03-17-05 10:23 AM
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I want a little sugar, in my bowl

You know, I don't really see how that's any more clever than "Squeeze my lemon 'til the juice runs down my leg."


Posted by: apostropher | Link to this comment | 03-17-05 10:26 AM
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Since the claim was for simplicity, apos, what you want is "any less clever".


Posted by: ben w-lfs-n | Link to this comment | 03-17-05 10:27 AM
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Tell me, milk cow, what on earth is wrong with you?

Tell me, milk cow, what on earth is wrong with you?

Well, well, you have a new calf, hoo hoo, and your milk is turnin' blue

Your calf is hungry, and I believe he needs a suck

(spoken: Now, you know that calf done got hungry)

Your calf is hungry, and I believe he needs a suck

Well, now, but the milk is turnin' blue, hoo hoo, and I believe he's outta luck

Now I feel like milkin' and my, cow won't come

I feel like churnin' it and my, milk won't turn

I'm cryin' plea-hease, please, don't do me wrong

You can give-a right milk and butter, now, baby, you-hoo, will stay at home


Posted by: ben w-lfs-n | Link to this comment | 03-17-05 10:29 AM
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Also very good:

Some people say the worried blues ain't bad,

Must not a been the worried blues they had.


Posted by: ogged | Link to this comment | 03-17-05 10:29 AM
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Lyrics for "The Coo Coo" seem hard to come by on the net.


Posted by: ben w-lfs-n | Link to this comment | 03-17-05 10:33 AM
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All right, you asked for it:

First, you have the rhyme: simple monosyllables, abba. Then the first and second lines are almost exactly the same, except for the synechdoche "sugar - sweetness," and "down," which, no more needs to be said. The third line changes, and it's a direct plea--which, like the simplicity of the verse overall, connotes basic, naked longing (not to mention that gorgeous little caesura, "come on" in the middle there), and then the fourth line, we're back to "a little sugar in my bowl," same as the first line, except that we've got "drop" (which mirrors the "down" in line 2 and the "daddy" in line 3) instead of "I want"--continuing the plea, but pulling the whole lyric together with that one monosyllable. It's all sibilants, too, except for the dirty "d" (try saying it out loud, and see if you don't become really, shockingly aware of the tip of your tongue) in "down," "daddy," and "drop."


Posted by: bitchphd | Link to this comment | 03-17-05 10:34 AM
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#83: Really good. I counter (though it doesn't rhyme) with

I'm gonna lay my head

On that loneseom railroad i'rn

Let the 3:19 train

Ease my troubled mind.


Posted by: bitchphd | Link to this comment | 03-17-05 10:36 AM
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(Shoulda been ir'n. Dang. Pronounced "arn.")


Posted by: bitchphd | Link to this comment | 03-17-05 10:36 AM
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What's that (86) from?


Posted by: ben w-lfs-n | Link to this comment | 03-17-05 10:37 AM
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Lyrics for "The Coo Coo" seem hard to come by on the net.

Really? Aren't there just many many version? Unless we're talking about different coo coos.


Posted by: ogged | Link to this comment | 03-17-05 10:37 AM
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Ben, it's "Trouble in Mind." My version is Velma Middleton, with Louis Armstrong (on trumpet, not singing). It's on the "Eve's Bayou" soundtrack, which is a fantastic little collection. Nina Simone did that one, too, of course, because Nina Simone is the closest thing we ever had to god.


Posted by: bitchphd | Link to this comment | 03-17-05 10:40 AM
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Search for '"coo coo is a pretty bird" -dylan' and you get practically nothing; change it to "cuckoo" and there's lots, including some that have no mention of gambling at all (all the versions I'm familiar with are pretty late, I'd guess). The problem I think was that I was including specific phrases that might not be too common ("jack of diamonds", eg).

Anyway none of the rhymes in it are that great; it's more of a cumulative thing. Since I was thinking of the Townes van Zandt version from Acoustic Blue, here's the last verse from "Waiting 'round to Die":

Now I'm out of prison, I got me a friend at last

He don't steal or cheat or drink or lie

His name's codeine, he's the nicest thing I've seen

Together we're gonna wait around and die.

I also like the chorus from Lyle Lovett's "God Will":

God will, but I won't

God does but I don't

That's the difference between God and me.


Posted by: ben w-lfs-n | Link to this comment | 03-17-05 10:45 AM
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Nina Simone did that one, too, of course, because Nina Simone is the closest thing we ever had to god.

Yes.


Posted by: Joe Drymala | Link to this comment | 03-17-05 10:46 AM
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Except possibly Stevie Wonder.


Posted by: Joe Drymala | Link to this comment | 03-17-05 10:48 AM
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Also try "coo coo she's a pretty bird"

Best version I've ever heard, by the way, is Clarence Ashley's, on the Anthology.


Posted by: ogged | Link to this comment | 03-17-05 10:50 AM
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Stevie Wonder is definitely in the firmament, but Nina is the queen. Ever see her in concert? She would lecture the audience if they weren't sufficiently appreciative. Very god-like indeed.


Posted by: bitchphd | Link to this comment | 03-17-05 10:50 AM
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Ever see her in concert? She would lecture the audience if they weren't sufficiently appreciative.

My girlfriend (who, incidentally, is named after Nina Simone) saw her, said she sang three songs, left the stage, and then came back to tell everybody to get the hell home, because she was done.


Posted by: Joe Drymala | Link to this comment | 03-17-05 10:53 AM
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Awesome.

(Am glad she felt like singing more than that when I saw her.)


Posted by: bitchphd | Link to this comment | 03-17-05 10:54 AM
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I have a Clarence Ashley collection with a recording of it, I wonder if it's the same. It also has him doing "Housecarpenter" (aka by the much cooler name "James Harris the Demon Lover"), which I once heard the transcendent Dawn McCarthy perform live.


Posted by: ben w-lfs-n | Link to this comment | 03-17-05 10:56 AM
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Really, it all begins with this from RUN DMC:

should continue:

You don't even know your English, verb and noun
You're just a sucker MC, you sad faced clown

(I just dare someone to call Run DMC 'old school'.)

b--

I'll give you sugar for sugar, you'll get salt for salt
If you can't get along with me, it's your own fault
.

Also

I bought the groceries* and I paid the rent

She wants me to wash her clothes but I got good common sense

*Harry Smith and everybody has "gold ring" but that's wrong and I'm sticking to it.

The first verse may be the best:

Times ain't now nothing like they used to be
I'm telling the truth, you can take it from me.


Posted by: Matt Weiner | Link to this comment | 03-17-05 10:57 AM
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Alley...


Posted by: Joe Drymala | Link to this comment | 03-17-05 10:57 AM
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...and I got the "oop," too. I was just going for the assist.


Posted by: Joe Drymala | Link to this comment | 03-17-05 10:57 AM
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Ben, I just listened to the TVZ Acoustic Blue version. He does a similar, but somehow much better, version on Abnormal. (Same with "Lungs.")

There are many Ashley recordings of "coo coo." None I've heard is as chilling as the Anthology version (again, ditto for "Housecarpenter," where his Anthology recording is the best I've heard).


Posted by: | Link to this comment | 03-17-05 10:59 AM
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I'll give you sugar for sugar, you'll get salt for salt

Everyone should read Riddley Walker.


Posted by: ben w-lfs-n | Link to this comment | 03-17-05 10:59 AM
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And while we're talking about dirty lyrics and Clarence Ashley, I remind you all of this.


Posted by: ogged | Link to this comment | 03-17-05 11:01 AM
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Joe D--oddly enough, the quotes in 99 are from "James Alley Blues." (Except for the one from "Sucker MCs.")


Posted by: Matt Weiner | Link to this comment | 03-17-05 11:02 AM
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I only have a few TVZ albums--that one, Our Mother the Mountain, and Live at the Old Quarter. What I like about the Acoustic Blue recording is how hopeless and wearied he sounds singing it, and the way the guitar playing is, well, I don't want to say perfunctory-sounding, but something like that.

It seems like I should actually get that dang anthology.


Posted by: ben w-lfs-n | Link to this comment | 03-17-05 11:02 AM
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If that's what you like about it, trust me, you'll love Abnormal.

The Anthology is the best music purchase I've ever made.


Posted by: ogged | Link to this comment | 03-17-05 11:06 AM
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Wait, wait! Where is sugar / sugar, salt / salt from? I'm missing the references here. It's mean as hell, but it's good...


Posted by: bitchphd | Link to this comment | 03-17-05 11:09 AM
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So did you leave 102, ogged?


Posted by: ben w-lfs-n | Link to this comment | 03-17-05 11:09 AM
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B-Wo--Yes, get the anthology. I didn't get it for a couple of years because all the indie-rock hipsters were all over it, then I got it and it turned out to be every bit as good as they said. At least I get to make fun of people who came on after o brother where art thou for bandwagon-jumping.


Posted by: Matt Weiner | Link to this comment | 03-17-05 11:09 AM
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Shit, yes, 102 was me.

The "sugar sugar salt salt" is also on the Anthology, but I can't remember which song.


Posted by: ogged | Link to this comment | 03-17-05 11:11 AM
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B, that's from "James Alley Blues," by Richard "Rabbit" Brown, on the totally indispensable Anthology of American Folk Music. Bob Dylan alludes to it in "Crash on the Levee (Down in the Flood)."


Posted by: Matt Weiner | Link to this comment | 03-17-05 11:12 AM
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And here are the complete lyrics to "James Alley Blues."


Posted by: ogged | Link to this comment | 03-17-05 11:16 AM
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2-volume Folkways set? Thanks.


Posted by: bitchphd | Link to this comment | 03-17-05 11:16 AM
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A little late to the party, but I'll confess to a childhood fascination* with:

Hitler has only one left ball

Göring has two, but they are small

Himmler has something sim'lar

And Goebbels has no balls at all.

Part of it's the complexity of the internal rhymes. Part of it's just the balls.

*Neither term of which has apparently ended.


Posted by: KF | Link to this comment | 03-17-05 11:16 AM
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Ah, should have reloaded/previewed. Thanks, Matt.


Posted by: bitchphd | Link to this comment | 03-17-05 11:17 AM
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I wonder what you folk types would think of groups like Stone Breath, P.G. Six, or the MV/EE Medicine Show.


Posted by: ben w-lfs-n | Link to this comment | 03-17-05 11:17 AM
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b--it's actually six CDs and a bit pricey, but worth every penny--the link I left upthread to "Country Blues" takes you to the Smithsonian Folkways webiste for the Anth.

I have some quarrels with the transcription of those lyrics as a rendition of what Brown sings, but nemmine. (And I don't stand by everything in 99, since it's from memory.)


Posted by: Matt Weiner | Link to this comment | 03-17-05 11:21 AM
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Yeah, I'll throw it on the wish list and see if some admirer will buy it for me. Otherwise, I'll try to wheedle it for Christmas or something.


Posted by: bitchphd | Link to this comment | 03-17-05 11:24 AM
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Digital Underground/Humpty -

I like my beats funky, I'm spunky I like my oatmeal lumpy.

And really, my all time favorite. Even though I dissed Chuck in a previous thread, I wouldn't have finished the disertation without:

Get from in front of me, the crowd runs to me

My deejay is warm, he's X, I call him Norm, ya know He can cut a record from side to side

So what, the ride, the glide should be much safer than a suicide....

Whatcha gonna do? Rap is not afraid of you

Beat is for Sonny Bono, beat is for Yoko Ono

Run-DMC first said a deejay could be a band

Stand on its feet, get you out your seat

Beat is for Eric B. and LL, as well, hell

Wax is for Anthrax, still it can rock bells

Ever forever, universal, it will sell

Time for me to exit, Terminator X-it


Posted by: benton | Link to this comment | 03-17-05 2:24 PM
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Aside from the Humpty Dance, there are two classic passages in the minor Digital Underground hit "Same Song"

- 2Pac's verse, which begins with

"Now I clown around when I hang around with the Underground

Girls who used to frown say I'm down when I come around

Gas me, and when they pass me, they used to diss me

Harass me, but now they ask me if they can kiss me"

- and Humpty Hump's part, which as I recall is:

"Hypothetical political lyrical Miracle Whip

Like butter my rhymes are legit

I'm Humpty, not Humpty Dumpty, but Humpty Hump

Here a Hump, there a Hump, everywhere I'm Humpty Hump"

- followed by Shock G, who is actually the same person as Humpty Hump, telling him "Shut up and just listen".

Of more recent vintage, Murphy Lee's contribution to Nelly's "Air Force Ones":

"I'm in the Foot Locker, lookin like I need those

10 1/2 and if you got 'em, give me two of those

I can tell she never seen Murphy Lee before

'Cause she's just standin there as if I'm shootin free throws"

Also Lil' Wayne, in "Shine":

"OK, let's talk about this ice that I'm carryin'

All these carats like I'm a fuckin vegetarian

Niggas play, I bury them; y'all already knowin'

I threw up my arm and bitches thought it started snowin'".

People always cite the Beastie Boys for this, but the only couplet of theirs I like is "I don't mean to brag, I don't mean to boast / But I'm intercontinental when I eat french toast". Q-Tip's guest appearance on "Get It Together" is also comedy gold.

"I eat the fuckin pineapple Now or Laters

Listen to me now; don't listen to me later

Fuck it 'cause I know I didn't make it fuckin rhyme for real

Yo but technically, I'm as hard as steel"

- That's genius.

And every guest appearance Ludacris has done on everything, with Chingy's "Holidae Inn" being the top of the tops. I will now recite from memory:

Stop, drop, kaboom! Baby rub on your nipples

Some call me Ludacris, some call me Mr. Wiggles

Far from little; make your mammary glands jiggle

Got it all under control with a bowl of tender vittles

Dr. Giggles; won't stop until it tickles

I play a little D and I'll make your mouth dribble

Bits and Kibbles; got 'em all after the pickle

I swing it like a bat but these balls are not wiffle

Hit 'em in triples, with no strikes, stripes or whistles

I ain't felt this good since my [indecipherable]

Sippin' on Ripple; I got quarters, dimes and nickels

For shizzle, dizzle; I'm on a track with the big Snoop Dizzle.


Posted by: Cryptic Ned | Link to this comment | 03-17-05 5:48 PM
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I also like, from "In the Jailhouse Now":

I knew a man named Ramblin' Bob

He used to steal, gamble and rob


Posted by: Cryptic Ned | Link to this comment | 03-17-05 6:27 PM
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My mom went to see Nina Simone in 1970 or something and she told me she left because of all the negative remarks Simone made about white people. I don't know the details though.

At the time, my mom was, of course, a hippie, and a Nina Simone fan, so it must have been something pretty surprising to make her leave.


Posted by: Cryptic Ned | Link to this comment | 03-17-05 6:28 PM
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It would be worthwhile creating an amazon associates link to a Townes Van Zandt album on the homepage, since at least one person is planning on buying one as a result of this thread.


Posted by: washerdreyer | Link to this comment | 03-18-05 12:09 AM
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Also:

An' I wanna liquefy everybody gone dry

Or plug into the aerials that poke up in the sky

Or burn down the suburbs with the half-closed eyes

You won't succeed unless you try

- Clash City Rockers


Posted by: washerdreyer | Link to this comment | 03-18-05 12:13 AM
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THe scary part now, is that whyen I got in early this morning I let the Ipod in the office play the rap. I usually don't, because someone will find something to be offended by. (from "Farrakhan's a prophet who I think you ought to listen to" to bitches and hos, to "my Uzi weighs a ton" ) Doiing so has helped my mood considerably and interestingly, dramatically changed all the secretaries vision of me. But then shuffle puts Frank Sinatra up next:

The summerwind came blowing in from across the sea. It lingered there, to touch your hair and walk with me.

Johnny Mercer.


Posted by: benton | Link to this comment | 03-18-05 7:51 AM
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Is this thing still on?

They gut huts with gusto

Pillage villages with verve

War does what she has to

People get what they deserve


Posted by: ben w-lfs-n | Link to this comment | 03-21-05 7:58 AM
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