1. Brooks is a hack. We've known that for a while. (Is there anyone whose credibility crash came so soon after his rise to prominence? He's like the right wing VC - he's going to have change teams to get back the love.) Now if only our liberal media representatives would acknowledge it.
2. 6 feet tall and weigh 150. You've got to be kidding. You're not even a girl; you're like a flouncing little boy*. Cripes, Iverson's thicker than you.
3. I don't understand the following: The only important question that remains in the case of David Brooks is whether he could be any dumber. Outdoing himself doesn't count.
Doesn't "could be any dumber" make a comparison between his potential dumbness and his current dumbness? And isn't that precisely a case of "[o]utdoing himself"? I'm confused.
* I assume making a boy the bottom of the totem pole allows me to use "girl" as the original, discarded insult.
You're not even a girl; you're like a flouncing little boy
I could totally kick your ass, Tim.
I'm confused
Indeed. I wondered if it made sense as written. I decided that it did, in a slightly paradoxical way. Ponder.
I do, however, like the comparison to VC (and am happy that "VC" doesn't immediately make me think "venture capitalist" anymore).
Off to swim, pudge boy.
I decided that it did, in a slightly paradoxical way. Ponder.
Yes, ogged-san.
And can I get a show of hands of those who think that the words "Darwin was wrong" show up in his column by, like, accident?
I dunno - he may have a point. Brooks may be proof that the theory of evolution is seriously flawed. How else can one explain why he and an Archaeopteryx have similar intellectual capacities?
His use of the word sense of "fitness" is a parallel to the anti-evos' use of "theory": Take a word with multiple meanings - especially words used as terms of art - deliberately opt for a meaning that is incorrect/unsupportable in context and use it to bolster an otherwise idiotic argument. 'But that's what the dictionary says...' [/whine]
I have to go now and find some blood pressure medication; I should know better than to read anything involving Brooks this early in the morning, especially after spending the night before closing down a bar with a bunch of loony intellectuals...
[And no, Ben, I did not use the loony intellectuals to close down the bar. I'm just to lazy to recast that sentence. You would have loved it, as the loony intellectuals were all copy editors.]
Carp, that's "too lazy". I swear I'm not hung over, I didn't drink nearly enough, despite the willingness of males who cherish the who/whom distinction to ply me with wine...
Assignment, for whomever will take it up: make a joke turning on the uses of "ply" in "ply with wine" and "two-ply".
I could totally edit copy.
Then you could come to wild gatherings of copy editors in Hollywood nightclubs. Wouldn't that be more fun than grad school? [It is, trust me, I've been to grad school.]
Ben, Ben, Ben - you disappoint me. It's "for whoever will take it up". The entire phrase is the object of the preposition.
You're gonna lose your street cred, boy.
I don't do nightclubs.
Believe me, neither do copy editors. There's nothing odder than a bunch of talkers shouting at each other over music they couldn't be paid to listen to in the normal course of events. Apparently, it didn't occur to the organisers to alert the venue that none of the attendees were there for anything but the munchies and conversation.
I hate the BMI stuff. Hate it. According to BMI I'm very close to overweight. And Ogged ... at 5'4" I'm actually quite close to you in terms of weight. 132 (current weight) is a great weight for me. I once as an adult weighed 124 and people were trying to force-feed me. But according to BMI I won't hit underweight until I get below 100 lbs. I can't even imagine myself anywhere near 100 lbs and I'm sure manourishment would be a big problem then.
For years I felt there was something wrong with me because during those damn pageants the announcer would say "And Miss Somewhere is 5'9" tall and weights 110 lbs." I'd just shake my head and think "great, I'm 5 inches shorter and 20 lbs heavier. What a loser." But you really can't tell by numbers alone.
I've finally decided to not care about revealing my weight even though "society" would suggest that by the numbers I must be fat (and thus unattractive?). The reality is that many women who are in good shape weigh more than 120 lbs. Or are at the upper limit of the BMI or just over it. And, well ... if you've seen my photos on my blog you know that I'm not a waif but I'm certainly not overweight either. (And on that note ... time to head to the gym).
My other goal is to beat the hell out of David Brooks.
If you do that, I'll bake you chocolate chocolate chip cookies to help with that last .3. I'll even find Ogged a date.
I find it amusing that the NYT recently published a paean to the anorexic Olsen twins' sense of "style", complete with compliments about how well the clothing hung on their barely-there bodies. Will they now print a retraction and apologise for encouraging dangerous dieting practices?
Hell, no; they won't even apologise for David Brooks.
Ben, Ben, Ben - you disappoint me. It's "for whoever will take it up". The entire phrase is the object of the preposition.
Yeah, I realized that after writing it. I should have just gone with "for him who will ...", which is what I started writing before deciding to get rid of "him".
Tsk, tsk, tsk... think about that contruction.
If you were really my son, I'd be forced to paddle you with a copy of Strunk and White. Or maybe the AP Style Book; it's larger.
"construction"
Damn, I can't type this morning...
Let's assume that this study is correct and that, furthermore, the longer-lived heavy people are more successful in passing on their genes; in that case, they are the fittest David
But who's the fittest Jonathan?
"But if you have, or know someone who has, diabetes or high blood pressure, you know that those ailments are no fun, and the medication used to treat them isn't either."
I agree that insulin-dependent diabetes is a complicated disease to manage, particularly if you do it well.
However, hypertension isn't even noticeable unless it's so high that you have headaches, despite the long-term damage it can cause if ignored. Treatment is essentially a matter of finding a pill that lowers blood pressure and has side effects that you can put up with. Often, once the correct combination is found, it is available as a single daily pill.
Similarly, most type II diabetics can either take metformin or lose weight--no shots or fingersticks.
But who's the fittest Jonathan?
You realise that under Brooks' theory, Goliath would be more fit and David would go down in that fight. Or was it Jonathan who would go down?
[D, get your mind out of the gutter, it's not even noon, for pity's sake...]
What's Strunk & White's BMI?
Body Mauling Index? Oh, about a 35.
If you were really my son, I'd be forced to paddle you with a copy of Strunk and White. Or maybe the AP Style Book; it's larger.
Better go with the AP. It's common knowledge that our ben is a size queen.
First line of the article (not the column):
People who are overweight but not obese have a lower risk of death than those of normal weight, federal researchers are reporting today.
Lower than 100%?
That's a needlessly uncharitable interpretation. The phrase "risk of death" is used all the time without mentioning a time horizon.
That's a needlessly pedantic criticism. This site has got to be close to 90% snark; see the sentence before this one.
Statistically improbable phrase: "justifiably uncharitable interpretation"
And of course my interpretation of that widely-known usage was made in all seriousness.
The percentage of snark and the percentage of cock jokes must be pretty extensively overlapping then. Otherwise, there's a lot more than 100% of this site.
More seriously, and snarkily, I'm not sure Brooks will every be able to top this column in which he blames just about everyone except himself for the fact that he asked, after a lavish dinner, whether the coffee was decaf.
Well PG, I'm pretty sure that currently both my exes weigh more than I do. Waify is no good: Who's gonna pull the plow? Not me.
The percentage of snark and the percentage of cock jokes must be pretty extensively overlapping then
Snock jokes?
I'm pretty sure that currently both my exes weigh more than I do....Who's gonna pull the plow?
I now find it substantially more incredible that you've had sex than that w-lfs-n has.
Shamhat, I dunno: my mom has high (but not very high) blood pressure and she has to have the dose calibrated pretty often, and still gets headaches and such, which are worse if she takes a dose late, etc. I agree it's not the worst thing in the world, but Brooks ignores that and ailments like it completely.
I now find it substantially more incredible...
You think plow-pulling girls don't need lovin'?
If you have sex before I do, I'll commit seppuku. (Please to note, PG).
Tim, dear Tim, you're the one revealing your hangups here: I like strong women, and mean "pull the plow" in its most complimentary "work the earth" sense. You, stuck as you are in your blue urban thin-at-all-costs mindset, can't see it as anything but an insult. You're never going to have sex again.
Nicely played, you magnificent bastard.
Actually, playing on your despair is always the easy way out, but thanks anyway.
come now, ogged, do you think that your "pull the plow" comment can have helped you with PG? Further references to that comment only dig you deeper. For instance, I don't think "work the earth" has helped you very much.
Probably you should blame those comments on an imposter ogged.
SCMT, but what if *I* have sex before you do again? Is that allowed? (Oh, dear god, please say yes!)
Umm, text has a point here. And I certainly don't consider myself a plow-pulling grrrrl.
I have been plow-pulling in the past, but am currently a bit waiflike, and I think I prefer being plow-pulling. I feel too strong a wind could carry me away right now.
I'm already dating one person, and obsessed with another. Hands full.
Ain't it the way.
You know what sucks: seeing attractive women who are clearly younger than I am pushing strollers.
seeing attractive women who are clearly younger than I am pushing strollers
Now feeling suicidal. Thanks, ogged.
Yeah, but the Bulls-Wizards game is on now, and should be good.
I'm listening to Hubie talk about D-Wade giving people "facials". Apparently, not everyone wants a facial from Flash.
They were discussing the use of that term over at the bandarlog a while back. I'm shocked it's still used by basketball announcers.
PG:
Not only can you have sex before me, I expect you to do so. And to live-blog it.
Uh, liveblogging sex is not quite my thing. But I'll find some subtle way to let you know the deed has been done, 'kay? (Am assuming self-sex doesn't count here ... ;-)
FL stole my joke. But I'd like to see him bench-press with his neck. (I meant Brooks, not FL, but if he wants to....)
And BMI is good, if you're a stereotypically inactive desk jockey, but for anyone else, it's borderline useless. To get down to the low end of the BMI for my height group, I'd have to lose about 20 pounds. I'm pretty sure I'd be hospitalized after losing ten.
profgrrrl? SCMTim? ogged? Typing one-handed does NOT count. bleh!!!!
I'm not doing the one-handed typing. Just realized they all might be, in which case (and if it counted) I might not be the next one to have sex ...
Fear not; I'm not dexterous enough to do anything like that. Ogged... well, what would be the point of being a waif, if not flexibility.
Ha! I'll bet none of you had a nooner today. [smirking, always smirking] I win.
I'm not dexterous enough to do anything like that
I am, of course, but come on people, you know I'm not my type.
Ha! I'll bet none of you had a nooner today. [smirking, always smirking] I win.
Unless you're a guy indulging a not-that-there's-anything-wrong-with-it crossdressing fetish, you having a nooner means nothing. Women (unless morbidly obese or tragically disfigured) work a different scale than men. Me not having sex at noon is roughly equivalent to a normal woman having multiple orgasms at noon.
I just couldn't imagine (no offense) typing away here and feeling the impulse to drift one hand ...
And re: 58 -- no fair! no fair!!!!!
Me not having sex at noon is roughly equivalent to a normal woman having multiple orgasms at noon.
Then why am I not getting any? Grrrr.
PG: Let me go further. On the simple scale of sexual fulfillment, my getting out of bed in morning is a significantly larger achievement than (b/c of the hair and the voice - cute, as I said) your having your way with the smooth young boy of your choice.
Not to mention the nature jammies and the bionic rack.
Ogged, what's the correct spelling of declasse?
Acute accents on both 'e's. (No, I'm not still talking about pg. Pay attention.)
'déclassé'
which I got by typing
''déclassé''
I have attained full w-lfs-n! Should I be proud?
Well then, SCMT, I'm sorry to hear that you've not managed to get out of bed for weeks ... ;)
Meanwhile, I feel sure that the Nuggs are going to piss away to a chance to steal one in San Antonio. Somehow, this, along with Padilla and the attack on the independent judiciary, is all baa's fault.
Er, seeing as how I use my real name, let me declare that 70 is the last accidentally revealing comment I will be making on this matter. Grammer and HTML only! And snarking on the rest of yinz.
I don't get it, PG. No double entendre intended, though obviously applicable at the moment.
Tim, you getting out of bed = pg getting some. PG hasn't gotten some for weeks (apparently), ergo, you haven't gotten out of bed in weeks.
Hang on, my TiVo keeps track of how long I've gone without...loading menu...
437 days.
For the record, I've not gotten any because I (a) live in G'ville and (b) am picky picky picky.
I had a potential opportunity on one of my trips. Scratch that, on two of them. But I declined.
Your TiVo tracks your sex life? 'Splain.
PG hasn't gotten some for weeks (apparently)
Can we get a consensus agreement that women are, or at least PG is, basically evil?
I wonder how many batteries one would run through in 437 days ... (this being a girl thing, of course).
I don't have a landline at my place, so the last time my TiVo dialed in was when it was still connected, where ex and I were living. It tells me, every day, how many days it's been since it dialed in. Handy.
My bet, he was taping something while having sex. Hell, he was probably programming it to tape while having sex. Which might explain the 437 days. Women can be humorless about certain things.
Am I failing to understand some basic technological issue, or should the second comma in 80 not be there? (Or: If the TiVo isn't connected, how does it work?)
Ogged, that's making me really sad.
OT (or maybe relevant to future PG audioblogging): "Ogged's body" may be the most unpronounceable phrase in English.
(And this, children, is called the "sad puppy dog" move; let's watch....)
Matt, it doesn't require the phone connection to work, just a signal (in my case, via DirecTV satellite).
Ogged, your variable speed on response is making me look like an ass.
Well, yes, I would like a TiVo but I'm too broke ...
BUT I was referring to the sadness of using it to see when you last had sex, and as a marker of moving out of the place where you lived with ex. I'm just a sensitive grrrrl at heart ...
I hear you PG, but actually, I have such a horrible sense of days/weeks/months passed that I'm grateful for it.
your variable speed on response is making me look like an ass
You can't seriously blame me...
The Nuggets win! Nuggets win! Nuggets win!
We will have a Democratic president again in my lifetime.
not sure one can answer without joining the club oneself.
PG joins the mind too fine club!
What is this club????
And ogged, do you really want to keep track? Are you going for a record?
text is trying to stop me, but:
the stock response to w-lfs-n's missing irony
(O, I hope 85 was ironic)
I'm so confused.
Well, that could explain a lot ;)
It was, but I thought PG was just playing along.
YMMV, I guess.
(Note, incidentally, that I am not really channelling w-lfs-n. If I were, I'd be coming up with an even more heartbreaking story about my love life. cf. 72)
See also this, he says pettishly.
(eb--nah, w-lfs-n's also capable of deliberate misspellings for humerus affect.)
The humerus affect, that's why girls like resting their heads on shoulders, right?
The study says that the BMI range of 25-30 is the most desirable range. The negative returns to losing weight probably start at a BMI in that range. Not 18.4 .
Ogged has to put on about 40 pounds to get in the most desirable BMI range. He should probably get a girlfriend first.
Was it with a copy editor?
No, a biophysicist. I just want copy editors to languish at my feet, imploring me with perfectly phrased pleas to allow them to conjugate my verbs. [The subjunctive mood is particularly hot...] There's something so satisfying about teasing prescriptive grammarians.
SCMT #60: As my having sex at noon included a male having sex at noon, someone still wins.
Is it really news to anyone that 6 feet, 135 pounds is unhealthy?
This is not necessarily so. I am about 5'11", and my weight has ranged from 130 to a max of 135 for the past 18 years or so. (37 yr. old male.) I am very healthy, and I eat a lot. I just have a high metabolism.
Maybe you should eat more PIE (protein-intensive enrichment).
I think you should just ignore the fact that people know your real name Matt. You could always pretend you are another Matt Weiner. Or you could start using a thinly-disguised pseudonym to give yourself some deniability. Like Watt Meiner.
You know, the person posting as "Matt Weiner" need not be named "Matt Weiner" at all. It could all be an elaborate ruse.
I have a great pseudonym in reserve for in case I decide I need to start pseudoblogging. Unfortunately I can't reveal it here (for obvious reasons).
Don't even think about it, w-lfs-n.
I was thinking that I have some back-up for my identity here, since someone I went to high school with comments here too. But then I thought, for all you know I could have invented the LB persona, in anticipation of my own arrival. All part of my dastardly plan to take over Unfogged. To what end, I have no idea....
Ah.
AC is precisely who she calims to be. And everyone should obey her implicitly. You are all becoming very sleepy...
Ogged. Let's see. Brooks writes a humor column. You respond in all seriousness. And Brooks is the dumb one?
Ogged has to put on about 40 pounds to get in the most desirable BMI range. He should probably get a girlfriend first.
Perhaps putting on the weight would help him get a girlfriend? Maybe the girls are intimidated that he weighs less than they do?
Brooks writes a humor column.
This is the happiest-making defense of Brooks ever.
Perhaps putting on the weight would help him get a girlfriend
Depends where he puts it on, IYKWIM.
Depends where he puts it on, IYKWIM.
Just keep in mind that no woman in her right mind is interested in a 30 lb cock.
Clearly you've never raised chickens professionally.
Thirty is a lot of pounds for a single chicken to weigh.
I think it was sneaky the way the government changed the definition of "obese" and then started clammering that we have an obesity epidemic.
And I am six feet tall with a 31 inch inseam, meaning relatively short legs. Imagine if my lower legs were, say, two inches longer. I'd add two inches to my height, and a couple ham hocks to my weight. My BMI would drop incredibly.
So BMI without knowing body proportion and fat/muscle ratio is pretty useless, unless you want to label a bunch of people as obese.
With all that said I admit that there are a lot more truly obese people in the US than there ever used to be. I'm not excusing that. I just don't like being called one of them. :)
Actually we had roosters and chickens when I was growing up, and they never weighed that much. Birds have light bones!
Thirty is a lot of pounds for a single chicken to weigh.
Precisely what would make such a cock so fascinating. Think of the breeding potential.
A bunch of crushed hens, oh boy.
We were having dinner with a Uruguayan friend, whose English is okay but has holes in it, the other week, and he was telling us about a Brazilian restaurant he goes to that specializes in exotic meats. He listed snake, alligator... got stuck for a minute and came up with "the big chicken!" I offered "turkey"? He huddled with his Colombian wife, whose English has similar holes, and didn't get anywhere beyond "No, no, the really big chicken!" Finally, Mr. Breath got it: "Ostrich".
Ah, sex and chickens. Anyone up for a viewing of Pink Flamingos?
Brooks' column is one of the worst distortions of a statistical report I have seen in a while. He should personally apologize to the scientists who worked on the study.
More on the column here.
Lord, I go off for a short nap and come back to truly trite cock jokes involving chickens.* Where's the fun in that? I mean, really, we all know "Unfogged" is merely an anagram for "Ogged Fun". So try harder, people, try harder. [C'mon, that's a set-up line if ever I wrote one...]
* Celebrity sighting on Saturday: Larry Flynt, who did things with chickens most folks don't really want to think about. Then again, he has a Rolls Royce and most folks don't, so there may be something to this chicken-love.
DE, not only have you already violated the cardinal rule of Unfogged: though shalt not have sex, and you sure as hell won't talk about it if you do, but now you're telling us about your recent celebrity sightings? What are you, malevolent?
Oh, and despite appearances, there's in fact no way to rearrange Unf to get "fun."
The best part of the centerfold BMI graphic is that you can easily pick out Anna Nicole Smith =)
Another thing about the Brooks thing that is retarded: obviously Darwin did not say anything about "survival of the fittest" -- that was Herbert Spencer. Duh.
Chris, I really wanted to make fun of him for that, but it turns out that though Spencer coined the phrase, Darwin did use it (end of paragraph 3).
The fourteenth amendment does not enact Mr. Herbert Spencer's Social Statics.
which is to say that Brooks writes columns like the Lochner court writes well-reasoned, long lasting precedent. Yo.
The parallelism above implies that Brooks does not write columns. This raises the question of what he does in fact write. I don't think propaganda is correct, since he's not really focused enough for that. Filler is a possible answer. Perhaps "love-letters to himself," given how oddly self-centered some of his columns are, and how many of them appear to just be him stroking his own ego.
What are you, malevolent?
No, I'm sadistic. There's a difference.
Indeed. So you want to hurt us, but not because you bear us any ill will, eh? Make yourself at home then.
there's in fact no way to rearrange Unf to get "fun"
That may be the best thing you've ever written; whether that's a matter of pride or shame I leave as an exercise.
though shalt not have sex
Thou, thou, thou. Did I mention that my bastard son Benjamin is a rank amateur?
So you want to hurt us, but not because you bear us any ill will, eh?
I want to hurt you because it will make you happy.
Oops. I won't even go back and change it and ask you what the hell you're talking about.
I want to hurt you because it will make you happy.
I'm pretty sure making us happy is against the rules too; bad for blogging, you understand.
Did I mention that my bastard son Benjamin is a rank amateur?
I saw it, but I'm mellowing out in my old age.
happy is against the rules too; bad for blogging
Case in point. I can't make sense of a single entry on that page. It's like they're blogging in an entirely different language or something.
"Anna Nicole Smith? BMI=19.6"
If Anna Nicole Smith isn't that outlier at ~ 21.5 around Y2K, who is? Unless you're talking about the current ANS...
http://anonymous.coward.free.fr/rbr/pb-bmi.png
Ok, I think I'm giving too much insight into my reading habits today, but I think I read somewhere that sadists don't really make masochists happy, in any case. Sadists generally mean business, whereas masochists like the games and role-play. The best partner for a masochist is, supposedly, another masochist. One who just pretends to be a sadist.
The best partner for a masochist is, supposedly, another masochist. One who just pretends to be a sadist.
There's some kind of perfect parallel here to the unfogged comments, but it's escaping me.
w-lfs-n has been sending out an unheard cry for help -- tacitly begging for someone, anyone to come edit his prose?
Sadists generally mean business, whereas masochists like the games and role-play. The best partner for a masochist is, supposedly, another masochist. One who just pretends to be a sadist.
I must disagree. Masochists can also mean business and sadists can also role-play. Pairing two masochists just leads to frustration and ill feelings. Pairing two sadists just leads to confusion and bad grammar.
I'm pretty sure making us happy is against the rules too
Ah, but we may have different definitions of "happy"...
Is this a form of happiness where one's subjective evaluation of their present emotional state is no longer considered persuasive evidence? If so, I'd like to hear more about it.
According to these data, Anna Nicole Smith was Miss May 1992. BMI=21.2 was August 1999.
And, as a reminder, the 2000 election.
Which, in a tinfoil hat kinda way, sorta casts a new light on the Brooksian views on fatness.
August 99 would be Rebecca Scott, listed as 5'8" and 140 (BMI=21.3).
who would be here.
I wouldn't hit it. But that doesn't have anything to do with the weight.
I stand corrected on Ms. Smith. In regards to Ms. Scott I would, for the record, hit it -- but the airbrushing always makes it hard to tell what they truly look like.
Is this a form of happiness where one's subjective evaluation of their present emotional state is no longer considered persuasive evidence?
WD: Why should a subjective evaluation be trusted? Most people are far too close to their own emotional states to be at all capable of assessing them in any meaningful way. Some people even imagine that they experience fear when chained to a dungeon wall, awaiting Fran Drescher's dramatic reading of the complete works of Ann Coulter. But that's not fear, that's simply revulsion. [Except for Bill O'Reilly, who fantasises about being scrubbed with falalfel during the experience.]
And keep it consistent; "one" or "they", not both in the same sentence.
"felafel"
Or "loofah." Hard to tell from the context.
I'm pretty sure I can tell the difference between fear and revulsion.
I don't know, the two can walk a blurry line sometimes. For example, me with regard to cockroaches, or, another popular example (though less true for me): spiders.
"felafel"
Aarggh, get the "l" out of there... Another day of being unable to type sans typo. It's the rampant sex, that's what it is. With a loofah. [Or it's the painkillers. How the hell did Rush take a handful of these a day?]
Tangentially, but apropos, given the original topic: I dated an Iranian when I was at Columbia. He kept complaining, "American girls, too skinny, no good for sex. Too many bones." There was, however, no mention of falafel or loofahs, tho' his father did offer me $$ to do the green-card marriage thing.
I'm pretty sure I can tell the difference between fear and revulsion.
Benjamin, my wayward offspring, you haven't begun to experience fear and revulsion, what with growing up in a town where the squirrels are audio-animatronic. [Which, Ogged's observation aside, is not where I am, just where my ISP has chosen to infiltrate itself.]
too skinny, no good for sex. Too many bones
Did he understand that the mattress was a separate purchase? FOB and all.
BW - when Ogged made his comment, my ISP was pretending it was located in Irvine.
It's a very frivolous ISP, prone to locating itself in college towns full of mini-malls. I think it's looking for a nice intellectual mainframe.
Ogged - He didn't favour the heroin-chic, sharp-edged body popular in NYC at the time. [Would you want to have sex with Ann Coulter, mattress or no?] Let's just say he would have preferred J. Lo to A. Co.
J.Lo or A.Co? Good question. Naomi Campbell, or Barbara Bush?
Irvine is, in fact, where my formative years passed. I wouldn't have thought to call it a college town.
Naomi Campbell, or Barbara Bush?
I may become physically ill just from typing this, but someone has to. Younger or elder?
I meant elder; I forgot about the young one.
Irvine is, in fact, where my formative years passed. I wouldn't have thought to call it a college town.
Neither would I; it's my ISP's delusion. It has the hots for some computer in the Thesaurus Linguae Graecae center at UCI.
I was living there when you were born, back in the days when the mini-malls were fields and the bookstores were all on campus...
I meant elder
Even the massive overdose of Vicodin I just swallowed can't overcome the sheer agony that this image has caused my soul...
But it was only slightly less fair a comparison than yours.
Vicodin? That shit knocks me out. Hate it. But everyone in Irvine lives on it...
heroin-chic
The real thing is decidedly less attractive. (totally NSFW)
Oh cripe. You mean not safe for viewing, period.
Ogged, Ogged, Ogged - I am not in Irvine. My ISP is simply in love with a computer some 50 miles away. I am about a block south of the Sunset Strip, where Vicodin is considered a girlie-drug.
To be fair, I just had some surgery and there's real pain involved here. In between passing out from doses of painkiller, I come here for solace, what with this being the Benevolent Blog of Bracing Beneficence & Mocking of Mawkish Marriage Announcements. Not to mention my need to keep track of my illegitimate issue Benjamin, lest he dangle his participles in front of a police officer.
Irvine is, in fact, where my formative years passed. I wouldn't have thought to call it a college town.
Based on the occasional Berkeley references, I'd have guessed Northern California.
The latest Irvine reference was a joke, DE, which I forgive you for not getting, given your state.
Can someone explain why we all find the word "dangle" funny?
"Dongle" is even funnier than "dangle."
"Dongle" is funnier than "dangle" (maybe), but I couldn't have come out and said "I have a USB dongle", when the last reference was to "dangle", could I have come out and said, now? Your attempt to recover is poor.
Poor, ogged. You're poor.
Your attempts to explain your errors by claiming that they aren't in fact errors, but jokes, would be much more credible if we hadn't established--with metaphysical certainty, as John McLaughlin is fond of saying--that you don't have a sense of humor.
I take it you're not talking about Mahavishnu John McLaughlin.
At any rate, your having resorted to such an obvious diversionary tactic is all the confirmation I or any reasonable person [we leave open the question: do I mean I or any other reasonable person?] could possibly need that you acknowledge that your comment 189 is dumb.
I couldn't have come out and said "I have a USB dongle", when the last reference was to "dangle", could I have come out and said, now?
Well, you couldn't, because it would have been funny.
I don't think it would have been much funnier than what I did say, and saying what I did say had the advantage that in response to it you demonstrated the finitude of your mind.
You're really really upset that you said "dangle" when you meant "dongle," aren't you?
One more tetchy response from you and we'll have 200 comments in this thread.
Ogged, I think you're a swell guy.
So it seems a tetchy response wasn't necessary after all!
ROLL CREDITS
The latest Irvine reference was a joke, DE, which I forgive you for not getting, given your state.
My state? My state?? Do you mean to imply that I am somehow less than at the top of my mental form simply because I am chock full o' hydrocodone and unable to walk across a room without bumping into the large purple snake that keeps slithering through and mocking my attempts to feed carrots to my bunny slippers? My effing state???
Or did you just mean Kollyfornia?
I, obviously, have no idea how the top of your mental form would manifest. I just hope this ain't it, is all.
Oh, that was too mean, and there you are, on the brink of death. Sorry.
You're just trying to make me suffer because I had sex.
I can't deny that, but now I'm confused: where do sex and surgery fall on the timeline of the past few days? Are they related? Are you that old?
Don't you think it's crass to keep mentioning your having had sex recently, DE? Lording it over the poor souls.
Fuck off, Oh He Of The Putative Girlfriend, we see the knife hidden in your kindness.
I didn't even catch that, since I keep forgetting that Ben has claims to have a girlfriend.
I can't deny that, but now I'm confused: where do sex and surgery fall on the timeline of the past few days? Are they related? Are you that old?
Sex on Sunday, surgery on Monday. In case I died in surgery, at least I'd go out happy.
And my legitimate son isn't even as old as Ben, whom I bore when I was just a young slip of a girl...
Don't you think it's crass to keep mentioning your having had sex recently, DE?
Just let me catch you having sex, young man, and you'll be grounded till you're thirty.
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