The only people I find attractive are, like me, badly aging academics in tweed. Not your wife, though.
Why you sly dog. You find your Provost attractive. What a clever way to flirt.
I see through to the pure noumenal self within.
I believe Kant addressed this possibility in his Critique of Undressing Them With My Eyes.
I accept norms according to which guilt is warranted, Ben, but thanks.
Now suppose your gaze lit upon a someone who to your best knowledge was badly aging academic in tweed. Further suppose that you found her attractive. But! It were no academic at all, but an evil deceiver come to molest your virtue. A taut, sensuous evil deceiver aged, say, 20 years. How can you do anything but resign yourself to insuperable doubt, evermore?
Do female academics wear tweed? Or is your statement indicative of something else?
Have you noticed how fantastic Rachel Wacholder's ass is?
I figured out why ogged would be fired if his identity was made public. Ogged's boss: Rachel Wacholder.
Joe O's theory leads me to read this post in an entirely different light.
Have you noticed how fantastic Rachel Wacholder's ass is?
You were looking for an excuse to post your paean to her ass, weren't you?
Especially if you scroll up you'll find this entry. I take it FL was mostly attracted by her noumenal self.
That's possible. But now that I've popped by ass paean cherry, it might become a regular blog feature.
I've popped [my] ass paean cherry
Guh-ross.
SB, thank you for coming up with an unobtrusive way to ding Ogged for that typo.
Yeah, live it up guys. I'm busy searching the web for other pictures of Rachel Wacholder's ass.
You asked for male flesh and of course I couldn't find any naked pictures of my favorite hot athlete, Michael Owen. Just one of him sitting suggestively on a bed.
What about ogged's favorite male athlete, the underwear model?
Just one of him sitting suggestively on a bed.
That looks suggestive to you? I see "Please, no more pain." Maybe these amount to the same.
I see a "bandwidth exceed" message.
I don't see what's so fantastic about her ass. It's the tanned ass of an athlete, but not particularly different from any number of similar.
Tim, I don't even know what to say to that.
I'd like to write some ogged/Olympic swimmer slash concluding with some lines about "the gentle, rhythmic thorping sound of their bodies", but really I don't know where to begin.
Weiner, just copy'n'paste the image URL.
ac, scroll to the bottom; you can owe me.
Well, you could admit that Penelope Cruz's ass is almost certainly more attractive. But seriously, don't you think you could find indistinguishable pictures of almost all of the women playing?
Only because you're blind do you not realize that you just wrote the ass equivalent of "Really Ogged, you have to admit that all Asians do like alike."
I thought this was the canonical beefcake shot. No?
What would be the ass version of the Pledge of Allegiance?
I'm told he's swoonable.
Also, I think it's more "wet Mr. Darcy" than Colin Firth per se.
Have you noticed how fantastic Rachel Wacholder's ass is?
Her ass is most decisively unfantastic. There is nothing feminine about it.
Also, I think your obsession with her ass makes you gay.
The best part of her ass is the word "RACHEL" festooned across it.
I'm not going to discuss this with you guys any more.
First, you bastard, I was saving that one for the next installment of Rachel Wacholder's ass. Second, how does that make 40 right? Or does my question make 40 *even more* right? Or do the two parts of your sentence not relate in that way?
Because that is one flat ass, Ogged. The kind normally seen on either young boys or unfortunate white men Or grandmothers.
Some white boys try to act black by listening to hip hop, Michael tries to act black by dissing Rachel Wacholder's perfect bottom.
Never call an ass a bottom again, ogged.
It's ok Ben, the fact that "ass" and "bottom" are interchangeable in this context doesn't mean that your being a bottom makes you an ass.
This sheds much light on how it was Ogged was fooled into getting the hots for that obviously-guy ass. (help finding that post?)
46: I am not looking for Big Buns or badunkadunk, just, you know, the presence of buns.
Never call an ass a bottom again
Why not? And why do you feel so strongly about it? Is there an exception for Shakespeare?
I just don't think "bottom" sounds right applied to an ass. It's like "boobies". Unacceptable.
No, not the ass-alicious post. The other one.
Maybe you're thinking of this, but there are no asses involved.
Yeah, I think I was thinking of that, only for some reason I thought it was a backside picture, not a frontside picture.
Yes, gentlemen, Colin Firth is totally swoonable, although I prefer the dashing Darcy to the wet Darcy.
And, FWIW coming from a straight woman, Rachel's ass is hot.
52 is precisely right. I was right with Ogged until he through the bottom into the mix.
I just don't think "bottom" sounds right applied to an ass. It's like "boobies". Unacceptable.
Any other forbidden body part names I should be aware of, Mr. Unacceptable?
through the bottom
Guh-ross encore une fois.
This issue of ass-hottness may call for a blog poll.
At least we can all agree that her leathery skin is a total turn-off.
I should make that deep-tanned-leather-colored skin.
I confess that I found her ass to be hot.
Ass me no questions, I'll tell you no lies.
I think using "ass" to call a pair of buttocks is so vulgar. The proper way to call a pair of buttocks is to say, "Here, buttocks!"
There are times I wish I had a camera on my cell phone. Tonight grabbing some gatorade at wal-mart, I had to temporarily evacuate the lane because slowly walking down the lane was a lady of championship ass magnitude. She had on stretch pants. On each side were huge chunks of cottage cheese textured flesh, at least two feet accross. As she took each step, the islet of cottage cheese would tumble and fall, only to rise again with the next. It was a sight to behold, but not for long.
Ok, so I can dismiss your criticism Michael. Nevertheless, I just had this conversation with Ex, who is here.
-Come look at Rachel Wacholder's ass.
-Coming, dear.
-They don't like it.
-[Looks] Is it too round?
Geez, Michael, you're pretty harsh wrt asses. I wonder who's ass would please you.
porably the ass of someone whoe could use "woh'se " correclty!!
"I'm the goodest sheep rider in the whole world," Koby says. Then he catches himself and adds: "Except Jesus."
ogged, why did you introduce several embarrassing typos into 70? Honestly.
The link is peon-disabled but that there's the best bit anyway.
Questions:
1. How does rodeo affect the quality of your ass?
2. Is sheep rodeo better in that regard than bull rodeo, because of the extra fluffiness?
Hey, I'm tired out here on the east coast. I actually thought over which word to use, settled on the right one and then promptly used the wrong one.
But you're right, Ben, it porably is the ass of someone whoe could use whose correclty.
Is it yet trite to observe that "oh noes!!" is trite? I am pinned 'neath the damp underarm of metatriteness.
OK. I have no idea what I'm supposed to take away from #66. I don't agree with Michael's specific criticisms, but #66 address them?
Also, strangely, I'm with Ben on the "bottom" thing; it's wrong. You cannot use the word "bottom" when you're talking about sexualizing someone's ass. It conjoins a childish word with sex; it's creepy. So basically, this post and the ensuing commentary proves that ogged is not just gay (NTTAWWT) but also a pederast. Which is bad. Even ATM.
66 shows us someone coming to the discussion without knowing Michael's criticism that RW's ass is too flat and assuming, contra Michael, that the criticism must be that it's too round.
"Bottom" is naughty, which, I see, is a disposition that's lost to contemporary America.
That she could think of an ass as too round disqualifies Ex as a serious judge. "Naughty" is another word one uses primarily with children. Pederast.
What is wrong with you people? Lots of asses are too round.
As for "bottom," I give up; I'm moving to England.
Re 65: Ben, I wouldn't shop at wal-mart except that I was returning something I had bought previously today.
69: Annie, the zone of my sense of the right sized buttocks is somewhere between nonexistent (Rachel) and 5 feet wide (wal-mart lady).
Tim is totally right in 83. Obviously, it is time for ex's eye-exam.
it's usually attached to young men
I agree with that. I disagreed with Michael's criticism (#83) because I didn't think that the "smooth young man" thing was a negative. If it were merely a matter of asses, I'd have sex with young men all the time; it's their penises that I have a problem with.
Re 82: There might be something of a selection bias problem with Ogged's survey. Ex isn't likely to be a reliable judge of whether Ogged likes an unwomanly ass since, as someone formally linked to Ogged romantically, she is likely to possess -- and thus likely to be biased in favor of -- the kind of ass Ogged prefers.
My own opinion is that RW's ass is a bit on the flat side, and Ogged's failure to notice that proves that, while not gay, he probably does hate women.
So, tell us Ogged, what's the truth? Are you a misogynist or a pederast?
late arrival, but i have to agree with Michael. that looks like a guy's ass. a very very hot guy ass, but a guy ass nonetheless. which may explain why annie finds it hot.
and i as well.
i don't think it's flat, in fact, i believe it's the contrary, her ass is perky and muscular like that usually found on skinny-ish dudes.
except ogged, of course.
Oh boy I am late into this but what the hey.
Objectively there really is not much difference between a male and female hot ass. I can't describe it in words but the shape and size are important. "Perky" or "nicely rounded" kind of get the idea across.
So I too liked her ass. If it was on a guy - no, it just wouldn't do it for me. Why should it make a difference? I don't know, but it does.
I'm reminded of the movie "True Lies" where the sleazy guy is describing how hot Jamie Lee Curtis is to Arnold Schwartzenegger (who he doesn't know is her husband) and says she has an "ass like a ten year old boy's" with an appreciative tone of voice.
Husband and I discussed this some. He thinks her ass 'looks better in the smaller picture' v. the one Flabs linked to.
Although, seriously, guys: How does Rachel's ass compare to ass you're actually getting?
Since I'm not getting any ass, I think it's reasonable to claim that the ass I'm getting is spectacular, even divine.
I'm not getting any ass
I thought you had a girlfriend?
How does Rachel's ass compare to ass you're actually getting?
I am happily married and completed satisfied with my wife in every way.
Rachel's is better, although I think part of it is the legs it is connected to.
Butt so what? There are a zillion guys that look better than me too.
I'm reminded of the movie "True Lies" where the sleazy guy is describing how hot Jamie Lee Curtis is to Arnold Schwartzenegger (who he doesn't know is her husband) and says she has an "ass like a ten year old boy's" with an appreciative tone of voice.
Bill Paxton. I love that scene.
"Pair of titties that'll make you wanna stand up and beg for buttermilk!"
I don't even know what it means, but I love it.
Joe,
Oh yeah. Sometimes when watching a movie I wish I knew who came up with the line - the writer, an ad-lib on the set, what?
James Cameron's films are filled with lines like that, and he takes credit for writing all the screenplays. I have to think that he either has a reliable ghost joke writer, or he genuinely can write those catchy one-liners.
Another from that movie: "She took the ice cube trays out of the freezer. What kind of sick bitch takes the ice cube trays out of the freezer?"
Also, the ass is hot. It brightened my day yesterday.
Even later to the game, but I've spent more time than I should probably admit looking at the picture on the main page, and I have two observations:
1) Her ass is plenty round, the picture just doesn't adequately display the roundness because of skin tones vs. shadows. Look at the crease at the bottome of her butt and how far down the back of her thigh the shadow goes.
2) She looks like a boy because she doesn't have enough hips. I like me a woman with some swing in her thing.
Also, let it be noted that I'm sure she has a wonderful personality.
Chopper nails it, so to speak. 1 is right and 2 is particularly astute; what's boyish isn't really the butt but the hips. (Not that I agree that she needs more hips; here, as elsewhere, I'm anti-hip.)
Yes! Chopper nails it. I apologize for calling her ass flat as that is clearly wrong.
Speaking from personal experience, learning that I like hippy women -- but not hippies! -- was one of the great shocks of my life. I feel alienated from my libido.
Tripp at #97, I'm just teasing. It always gives me a chuckle listening to guys minutely discussing women (geez, in this case, one woman's single body part, her butt) they have like, negative chance of scoring. I.e., you amuse me.
Unfogged, the site senstive enough to celebrities or semi-celebrities desire for privacy to not let them know they've been noticed in art museums or enjoying televised golf at an airport bar, but finds 103 comments discussing who pleasing a particular person's ass is under their real name. Furthermore, her ass isn't that fabulous, I'm with Michael on this. Also, there seem to be enough google hits about her ass for this thread to be unproblematic, so perhaps I'm just nitpicking.
I thought it was fine to use her real name because I couldn't imagine that there would be any dissent. Once again, I'm confounded.
ogged, I'm with you. I don't get it. Even if you don't think her ass is totally hot, you can't deny that it's at least on the hot side. Everything else looks great from this backside view. What's not to like?
Plus she's obviously strong and will be able to keep up with you.
Fuck to oboe, that first sentence went completely off the rails after the second comma. I blame my summer of less law school and more drinking on this decline in my intellectual rigor.
annie,
Tripp at #97, I'm just teasing ... have like, negative chance of scoring.
Yeah, sure, go ahead and burst my bubble.
Fine then. You're an orphan and your real parents don't even love you.
An Onion classic, via some random praiseworthy site: Man Has Amazing Ass.
Residents of Tashen are well aware that their ass worship may seem strange to outsiders, and they are eager to explain.
"People who aren't from here have to realize something about Holdger's ass," lifelong Tashen resident Paula Baines said. "It's not like a regular ass, or even an extremely above-average ass. Holdger's ass is on a different plane of asshood than your ass or mine entirely. A holy plane. Just thinking about Holdger's ass makes me want to think about Holdger's ass some more. Go now. Go and learn Holdger's ass."
I'll guess that's Trip at #113, confirming my long-held adoption hypothesis. Thanks for the confirmation!
Sorry re: your burst bubble. I sympathize...I don't know what's worse...learning your parents don't love you or that you've got no chance wrt that ass.
annie,
Yes it was me. And regarding my chances - you know what they say -
"The sun'll
Have you noticed the "I am Rachael Wacholder" ad running at TPMcafe?
The syntax and capitalization are . . . non-standard:
I will Lay OutFor Every Last Ball
I will Challenge the NetAnd My Most Fierce Competitor
Rachel's ass IS hot.
Her spirit is hotter...
See her live...
You'll get it...
