I was thinking of writing a post like this, but my preferences in invective are rather more fustian, and bodily. I also feel that the decline of compound terms of abuse is lamentable, with only "motherfucker" and "shithead" really being prominent anymore. Where's the originality?
Dumbass is still used pretty widely, and is my personal favorite, though I tend to use it more as a term of endearment than an actual insult. When I was much younger (like junior high or so), cocksucker was still fairly prominent, though far less so than in previous decades. I don't think anybody uses it anymore, not even rabid homophobes, for whom, presumably, the word might still carry rhetorical weight.
Turning to Beavis and Butthead briefly, I always found fartknocker to be a delightful slur.
In daycare centers "dummy" is the worst thing you can say. Real fighting words. Worse than "stinkerbutt".
During my low-rent period one of my neighbors actually pulled a knife on a different neighbor who called her "dummy".
Yeah, she was dumb all right.
I tend to favor the blunt, "I wish you were dead," said as matter of factly as possible. Also, "Die badly."
OK, dumm, as Nietzsche would say.
I've always been a fan of "You fat fuck." Especially when I'm dealing with thin people.
I think that wishing death on others does not sting them enough. They know they won't die. It is important to hit upon something that they are worried about -- such as ogged put it, being ugly or stupid.
Shit-for-brains is good. As is shit-ugly. And ugly-assface.
I have a friend who wished death on two people and they both died. That's what she told me, anyway.
It's all context driven. If it's in passing, something like "jackass" is fine. If you have more time, you can be more interesting. Generally speaking, it's best to go genetic, as race, gender, socioeconomic, and sexuality insults tend to be disfavored by everyone but ogged (cf. "blackie").
How about "pathetically unread blogger"?
(Note: this does not refer to anyone in particular.)
I'm completely with Ogged; insults just roll off (like so much water off a duck's back, right) if they aren't grounded in reality. The punch doesn't land if the target doesn't think you're at least partially right. Push comes to shove, I've generally found one-word insults (even of the gender, societal, etc. varieties) ineffectual. Yes, this makes it difficult for me to feel as though I've managed to actually connect with a stranger, but so it goes.
Lick my jovian testicles, you putrid bunch of butt-warts. Your putrescence is exceeded only by the banal mouth-farts passing for insults that I've read so far in this blog.
*thoomp thoomp* Oh my god was this thing ON??
I'm a big fan of "shit for brains."
As in, "hey, shit for brains, move your fucking car."
"I also feel that the decline of compound terms of abuse is lamentable, with only 'motherfucker' and 'shithead' really being prominent anymore. Where's the originality?"
Worse is the notion that mere epithets and expletives, orphaned, even in strings, are sufficient and suitable, rather than actual whole sentences, even paragraphs, conveying suggestions or observations perhaps not previously contemplated as possible by the recipient, and best, although still on the non-prolix side, a full narrative, whether minimalist or florid.
Also, children today do not respect their elders. Nor tradition.
"I think that wishing death on others does not sting them enough. They know they won't die. It is important to hit upon something that they are worried about -- such as ogged put it, being ugly or stupid."
This certainly describes the smattering few bits of Yiddish insult I've run across.
At the very site of you a stiffe and freezing horror sucks vp the riuers of my blood: my haire stands an ende with the panting of my braines: mine eye balls are ready to start out, being beaten with the billowes of my teares.
The best way I've found to insult people is to imply that they are lacking in some quality or virtue without going for vulgarity or rhetorical excess. The simple, "Why are you being such a jerk?" has been known to make people snap.
I like "tragic waste of oxygen", but "no-talent assclown" is also very nice.
"The simple, 'Why are you being such a jerk?' has been known to make people snap."
Gee, is that why people get all offended when I ask? Who knew?
Incidentally, in a complete non-sequitur, save that this, too, is about me, me, me! -- well, not really, just something I noticed, but anyway -- I'd be quite curious what people think of the TPM Cafe TOS? (Bloggers welcome to blog, oddly enough.)
I like "arsewipe" [you have to imagine it in a Scottish accent].
"Fuckwit", is also good if we're seeking a nice one-word epithet.
Longer phrases make liberal use of the 'c' word which tends to offend Americans rather more than my compatriots (who use it like punctuation) so I won't post any examples :)
If you had a few more brains you'd be a halfwit.
"tragic waste of oxygen"
I've always heard this as a waste of skin.
I always liked "lazy-eyed mouth-breather" as an insult. Or the Bill Hicks line, "ball-less, soul-less, spirit-less little corporate fucking puppet(s)"... (followed by "suckers of Satan's cock, each and every one.") It's a description, really... but I suppose you could turn it into a classic insult pretty easily.
You've got to show the editorial page some backbone.
This has been known to make people snap.
My ear instinctively prefers compound words with internal assonance, not because they are more biting, but because they feel better rolling off the tongue. So, buttmonkey, turdburglar, assbandit, asshat, etc.
Hmm, there also seems to be a gravitational pull toward rectal references.
living proof against Intelligent Design , which works better as an insulting description rather than a true insult.
I've always heard this as a waste of skin.
I was raised to call people a waste of carbon.
I agree that insults and epithets work best when they're grounded in some real property of the person being insulted. And yet, you can cram an unbelievable amount of anger into "fuckface." As crude and undescriptive as it is, I think it is effective on some occasions - or would be if I weren't uttering it under my breath.
How about coward? Could apply in traffic, I guess, but I was thinking about the closing shot to a particularly frustrating customer service impasse. Everyone is afraid that he's not brave enough.
You could throw in toe-sucking if you really need the compound.
I've always heard this as a waste of skin.
I was raised to call people a waste of carbon.
"Waste of space" here.
Fat. To a woman - fat ass. That'll cut right back to the worst of middle school.
We forget that in the olden days curses had power because they threatened real harm - "Damn you," for instance.
The modern day equivalents are too strong so we don't use them:
I hope you get breast cancer.
Someone needs to rape your children.
Go after the person's mother. Everyone feels protective of their mother, don't they? "Byblow of your mother's busy Fleet Week," etc.
I've mentioned the random nature of Samoan names before, right? I knew a kid there named 'Airbase' (prn. Air-bay-see), and couldn't help picturing the mother thinking "I'm not sure who the father is, but I know where I was that weekend..."
(This is, of course, not a likely explanation -- the weird names were random choices of a word that sounded interesting rather than meaning anything.)
Tripp -- there's some line in some lame Terrence McNally play (I know that really narrows it down), said by one gay man to another, that goes "I hope you die of AIDS."
That's pretty horrible.
I don't think I could ever call any woman fat, no matter how much I hated her. It's just too below-the-belt.
Even if it were your girlfriend, and she'd put on a couple of pounds over the holidays?
It's stunning that you haven't been laid in nearly a year, Ogged.
(Actually, I think we're to day 540 or some such.)
fat. to a woman--fat ass
But only if you're interested in escalating the confrontation to the level of physical violence. Because I would totally deck a man who called me "fat ass".
mcmc,
Yeah, I was pretty much pulling out the nuclear weapons of insults.
If you really want to zing someone you have to refer to their innermost fears, otherwise you're just throwing words around.
I hope people know I've never used any of these myself. Honestly.
Tripp,
I just think it's important that potential insulters understand the rules of engagement.
mcmc,
I totally agree. Personally I think it is okay to have a nuclear arsenal but I would never want to use it.
The best place for insults is at a Roast.
So, to sum up: stupid, ugly, fat-ass cunt is the most insulting of all possible insults in American English. I know I would immediately resort to physical violence if anybody used that phrase on any of my female friends or relatives.
if anybody used that phrase on any of my female friends or relatives
Yeah, but that's cheating; you have to throw down for the ladies for far less hysterical insults. If someone said that to you in the heat of battle, you'd probably stop and say, "That's a little over the top, don't you think?'
I don't know what kind of punk circles y'all run/ran in, but ##52,53 are completely wrong. You might get in a fight if (a) you didn't think he could and might be willing to kill or badly hurt you, or (b) the social circumstances were such that he would be prevented from killing or badly hurting you. In other cases, absent a fear of actual harm to your female friend, you'd (rightly) pretend to be engaged elsewhere and claim not to have noticed what was going on.
Welcome to the real world, boys.
In one stupid moment when I was 15 I got into a fight with someone because they said my name to me as if it was an insult.
All in the tone of voice and delivery.
[it was still a *dumb* thing to get in a fight about...]