Anybody know any good fart jokes? Or any really bad ones, for that matter?
FL, you should try to convince BitchPhD to start posting with your login. Then the fur will fly.
We've got to start deliberately misconstruing each other, and conducting ourselves uncivilly.
FL, you are a racist.
posting a reverse DNS on ogged in 3... 2... 1...
why doesn't ogged have many females on his blogroll? It's because he's a sexist. And he's got Insty -- because he's secretly a conservative, and likes rich people better than poor people. Ogged, you fascist, sexist, man-with-a-penis. We shall take control of your blogroll.
It's not so much the sexism that bothers me -- I just wish he'd stop advocating torture. Particularly torture without due process first; that really annoys me.
It isn't so much the torture, as it is the torturing of blackies.
This game is surprisingly similar to the one we played when ogged wasn't on hiatus.
Remember when ogged said that racial classifications make perfect sense in many ways, not just as elements of our social discourse? And then Farber vehemently agreed with him, telling people how great racial classifications are. That was an odd thread.
Bill Laimbeer is the greatest ever to have played the game.
The Jordan-era Bulls won primarily by cheating.
"I guess I can only add that Rachel Wacholder has the ass of a young boy."
Lots of women have asses like young boys, and some young boys have asses like women. Why you gotta categorize, bigot?
"It isn't so much the torture, as it is the torturing of blackies."
Race isn't real; therefore, you could be torturing blackies and not know it. And what about Blondie -- that cartoon isn't funny at all, racist.
"It's not so much the sexism that bothers me."
Indeed: I would expect not, from an avowwed sexist who makes distinctions based on sex, thou noticer of differences and invidious sex monger!
I don't like it when rock groups aren't earnest.
Bob Dylan is totally overrated. And Christy Turlington ain't all that, either.
Star-nosed mole farts.
I was trying to think of something derogatory to say about swimming, but I couldn't come up with anything clever.
BG--may I suggest the old honorable "Swimmers are teh ghey"?
What is it with star-nosed moles, anyway?
Hey, FL, can you work some ip magic so that when ogged visits the site he gets redirected here?
I wish I could, believe me.
Also, Tom Hilde is my new best friend. He convinced me that people who cannot spell are completely stupid, no matter what.
Torture as due process!
It only makes sense that a superstitious Persian would still believe in trial by ordeal.
Fart's no ass in team, to be sure.
Awesome, MAE. This is especially revealing.
I really think this is terribly inappropriate. Ogged goes on hiatus, putting himself in great personal peril to restore the Persian monarchy, and this is how we treat him?
If Ogged would only step out of his black mercedes for a second, stop playing with all his jewelry, and put his cell phone down, I think he could put an end to all of this right quick.
LB--That was awesome. Persian was the icing on the cake.
What is it with star-nosed moles, anyway?
text--I don't think he drives a mercedes; I'm pretty sure ogged has a beamer.
Everyone knows that Persians can't drive.
I think a series of posts contemplating the unreasonable superiority of soccer to other sports is in order.
Ben, Remember that time you and I hung out with Ogged in person, and it was kind of awkward, not only because the whole Bitch PhD incident had just happened, but also because he propositioned us for sex? I never did follow up -- what did you guys do after I left?
I heard they jammed out to the Beatles and talked about Dinesh D'Souza's groundbreaking thoughts on the end of racism.
We went down to the docks and engaged a bit of rough trade.
Then he told me that both of us were free to reveal the location of oggedville if it should ever be required to get him back to blogging.
I've heard that Ogged is a lawyer living in Chicago, if anyone cares to confirm.
It's been so hard for me to resist making "insider" references to Ogged's Kankakee hang-outs, since Oggedville and Kankakee are one and the same.
The toothless ladies around there really love a rugged Iranian man.
Maybe that wily Persian has taken a vacation from working to go to Sweden and track down his inamorata, the Grad Student.
41: if Unf and Ogged were the same person, that would explain … well, very little, really.
I think we're all missing the point here, which is that Ogged just isn't relevant anymore.
Ogged might be commenting under an alternate pseudonym.
Sarah Vowell is super hot, and it's all because she's so squeaky.
Her cousin Sarah Consonantovich is even hotter because she's also Russian.
Though I should point out her name would be "Sarah Consonantevna".
I think what makes Russian women so hot is their deep, consolable happiness.
Or "Consonantova". Hell, I don't know.
SB—maybe she's a transsexual. Ogged gets off on weird shit.
Ogged gets off on weird shit.
The sparkly kind, I hear.
The reason why ogged was so touchy on the "Billy Joel would have been an accountant" question is that during his childhood Ogged, too, dreamed of being an accountant.
Given the recent mil-blog brouhaha, we should at least consider the possibility that ogged did write his last post willingly, and cannot presently reply from the place where he is "Camp"-ing. Fortunately, baa has a van....
в других словарях
eb, What does this say idiomatically, if you know? I assume it's not talking about friendly dictionaries, but what then?.
Ogged, too, dreamed of being an accountant
I always assumed that the present TiVo count evidenced that ogged is an accountant.
I'm pretty sure it means "in other dictionaries."
My Russian is actually terrible now that I'm so out of practice.
I'm trying to find a nice, rugged, manly woman. I wish Ogged was here to give me some pointers.
give me some pointers
You mean pointers like Kancho?
When I was taking Russian in high school, it was the class I was worst at. Having not used it at all since high school hasn't made me better. I did see a great Russian art exhibit on Saturday, which made me wish that I still was studying it and/or knew more about it.
They Might be Giants are so, so good.
As is Prussian Blue.
I'd say that both bands are better, more creative artists than Bob Dylan, but it's redundant, because, really, who isn't?
You know what sounds like a good idea? Internment camps for you-know-who.
I was actually able to read it - slowly, agonizingly, with-a-dictionarily - a few years ago, so I'm determined not to let it go. This has resulted in the purchase of books in Russian (with glossaries and accent marks) but little actual practice time.
Deep down, Ogged is a Republican. As soon as the Democrats give up the "nuance," his party registration will reflect that.
Hey! TMBG is off-limits.
Ogged should quit denying that he has other reasons for owning the complete works of Tom Cruise, and follow his love into scientology.
Tom Hanks is the greatest actor who has ever lived.
Tom Hanks knows Ogged's mom. Biblically.
In the perverted Persian version of Kancho, Pancho, gold watches, not fingers, are the tools of intromission. Pancho players are like the squirrels of bling, stashing their Rolex booty for "later". That sound you hear is Ogged's butt ticking.
eb: Supermemo. (Site's down at the moment. There are free versions there.) This makes it practical to spend five minutes a day learning words. If you can't spend that long, you might as well not be learning Russian anyway.
I have yet to finish learning Spanish. I can't decide whether to do that to communicate with the locals here (in Texas) or to learn French or Dutch so I can go to Europe or to learn Chinese to prepare for the new world order. Or to learn Lojban. But I want to master some other language.
I thought the Persian (per)version was called Dirty Sancho.
I know Ogged's mom. Biblically.
I think you mean SuperKoranically.
you've all been earning your pay this afternoon.
Wow, really excellent post from Atrios.
If ogged were a better person, he would get a better paying job in order to support his poor mother in her golden years.
Jodi Foster smells her own farts, and she enjoys the smell also.
Gör någon har telefon antalen av ogged? jag synes till vara har förlorad den när jag returnerat till Sverige.
pdf23ds, thanks for the recommendation. I'll check it out when the site finally goes back up.
What did I hear?
"Mother, she's just a stranger"! As if men don't desire strangers! As if... ohh, I refuse to speak of disgusting things, because they disgust me! You understand, boy? Go on, go tell her she'll not be appeasing her ugly appetite with MY food... or my son! Or do I have tell her because you don't have the guts! Huh, boy? You have the guts, boy?
I'm back, bitches. Who wants some healthy avocado?
Is that some sort of feminist counterpoint to the 40 virgins jihadists supposedly get?
You wouldn't understand because you are a man.
If I remember Russian grammar correctly, "Zizka" would be the most likely genitive form of "Zizek."
Your avocado comment reminded me that I need to make guacamole.
Also, you should make shirts with 91 on them.
If the answer to 97 were "yes", you couldn't make a guacamole unless you were a guacamole.
Or in the line of descent leading to the evolution of a guacamole. (Unless you're evangelical.)
It's 70 virgins, not 40.
Not that ogged would understand, if he were here, since he is teh gay.
teh gay
No, I think it is a little more unusual. See 87.
It's 70 virgins, not a 40-year-old virgin, like Ogged. Who is teh gay.
Raging homophobes, everywhere! You're fascinated enough by gays that you read Ogged's posts every day, obsessively, and yet all you want to do is make fun of him for his sexuality.
I think most of the gay-calling of ogged that goes on is probably wishful thinking.
I do dream of that Persian nose....
Dear Diary,
I had the dream again.
I see him from across the pool. He looks over. He wears goggles. I can't tell if he is looking at me, but my heart skips a beat anyway. He dives, his perfect persian ass--flat as a board--sharply defined for just a moment before he slices into the water. He strokes, powerful muscles gleaming in the noonday sun, each pull of his thin-wristed arms bringing him closer to me, clouds of body hair stretching and retracting ith each movement like erotically-charged black cilia.
He arrives. He lunges out of the pool and kneels before me. He whispers "Are you the Tivo keeper?" I say, "Yes. Reset me."
Trembling, he reaches for the waistband of swimsuit. Working swiftly, knowingly, he pulls down, revealing the proud, throbbing manliness of my star-nosed schlong. "At last!" he sighs.
"Ogged! What are you doing?" No! That harridan won't prevent our love from flowering at last! I thrust towards his gaping mouth, frantically. But it's too late! He's heard his mother's call and slips back into the water to return to her side, leaving me alone and aching with need.
I awake, sobbing.
Oh well. Time to start the day!
Thanks Diary! You're my only friend.
Love,
Matt F.
Yeah, we need some Tia fan fic to complement Chopper's offering. Maybe that would get something done.
B-girl, I thought you were supposed to be writing the "Dear Diary" comments.
I'm horrified. Excellent work, sir.
And now to happy hour.
I think it's testimony to some kind of weirdly definite community norm that nobody has yet tried the nuclear option. I.e.,
My name is ogged and I approve of these messages.
Posted by: ogged | Link to this comment | 10-24-05 04:09 PM
The real reason ogged's ex left him practically at the altar is that after he knocked her up (the only reason they got engaged), he started to become preemptively worried that, if he witnessed the birth, he would no longer desire her sexually. This proleptic concern grew so strong that he found himself unable to perform (a condition which persists to this day—or would, if it were relevant to his situation), and she left him, preferring to go it alone and raise her child without the "help" of a pussy like ogged. Now she's a lesbian and single mother in NYC, and you can catch her zany adventures every Thursday on NBC.
116: that's the way she used to roll sometimes.
There's no "itch" in "Bphd".
That's not what Ogged told me.
If someone were to impersonate her, it would not be inconsistent to leave off the "itch." Which isn't to say, necessarily, that those posts were impersonations.
Ok, HBO. And there will be lesbian birthing sex scenes.
This is easily the worst over-100 thread ever recorded here. Oh, and I am gay, so gay that I think only the gayest thoughts in the gayest way imaginable. Also, I am Persian and a swimmer and interested in philosophy, three things that intensify my already-gay gayness exponentially.
Fortunately, though, I am not the only gay in oggedville. And, for the record, I am not as gay as w-lfs-n.
Rulez!
No defaming people who aren't ogged or Tom Hilde.
No impersonations.
It is so Ogged; he just happens to be using Peter Snees' e-mail address. That is perfectly consistent.
The Tom Hilde exception extends naturally to Scientologists, bad spellers, etc.
He talks just like ogged, and admits he is gay like ogged does/should. And his name, clearly stated, is ogged.
Do you know any other oggeds? I rest my case.
snees impersonating ogged, hmmm.
Do you know any other oggeds?
There is this unusual page.
And here are some tips on how to avoid being ogged, which I presume ogged has been lately consulting.
I strongly resent the implication that I would ever feel the need to impersonate ogged, which would be akin to evaporating. I can do nothing about it if he wants to use my email address as he sends his love notes to w-lfs-n, er, I was supposed to keep that secret, so keep it to yourself.
By the way, ever seen a photo of ogged with George Michael? I thought not. Hmmm.
Definition 2, I suppose.
Not long ago I ran across a record called "unf! unf!" which no doubt refers to some of this. I was disappointed that "ogg" was nothing similar, but the man has been known to be called 'o-face'.
Matt's linking issues strike again?
So that's what you look like. I never figured you'd have such prominent bunny slippers.
That's probably a referral they didn't want to get.
Ah fuck. Good thing I use my own name, so there's no chance of blowing my cover. The story of why I had that link lying around is long and of no interest whatsoever.
143: Having people arrive at your site or picture from this thread may be a surprise to people who don't read unfogged (though maybe they do).
Coming into this thread particularly, without context, would be an eye-opener.
For some reason I felt this Holbonic phrase would suit the company:
successive shafts from a whole quiver of deceased wife's sister marriage bills.
Although, I could have been wrong about that.
I like it very much. It has a kind of stumbling grace.
144: It (133) has that air of incomprehensibility, to me, that I associate with online gaming and certain kinds of hip-hop. And it ain't hip-hop.
On C-SPAN 2:
Teleological mechanisms are operating. The existence of the boundary entails multiple possible outcomes. People say, "Hey, that's creationism". But that doesn't matter—because of our strike zone.
I'm convinced.
Is ogged on hiatus to get to Operating Thetan IV?
Teleocracy!
We are indeed slaves to our ends, at the Mineshaft.
155 -- No, he's off watching The Wire. I blame Yglesias.
To think, we'll probably never know whether ogged is capable of multiple Saiselgysms.
Hey! TMBG is off-limits.
You know, SB, we may not know your gender but I'm beginning to feel like I know too much. Garrison Keillor & TMBG?
And the Scorpions, Huey Lewis, Debbie Gibson, and Dido.
Touché … Touché Suavo.
You know, if we really want ogged to come out of hiatus, we need to get profgrrrrl to post a revealing photo of herself.
Or maybe: she needs to get him to post a revealing photo of herself.
You know, if we really want ogged to come out of hiatus, we need to get profgrrrrl to post a revealing photo of herself.
It would certainly get my ogged out of hiatus, that's for sure!
"we need to get profgrrrrl to post a revealing photo of herself.
that is awful. This thread will overwhelm and destroy all of unfoggeddom. We have broken all of ogged's laws. He will never return.
This thread is like the tentacle-y part of Akira.
SB:
What is so great about Akira? I have never, ever understood why legions of CS geeks swear by it. I've seen it thrice, and still don't understand the story; that seems like a pretty big design flaw to me.
I couldn't tell you. I've only seen it once, and even then not the whole thing. Or at least, I don't remember any of it except the (to me, inexplicable) monsterfication part.
Oh, and the part where the main characters keep calling out to each other, John and Marsha style.
So long as he's not coming back, let us dance around the golden calf, and revel in the destruction of the blog.
What did the persian say to the blackie? (answer below)
What did the Chicago Transit Authority say to Anna Karenina?
we're sorry for the delay; trains will be moving shortly.
All timely trains are alike, but each late train is late in its own way.
I left out the beeps, though Tolstoy probably would have included them.
Plough plough plough plough Kitty, plough plough plough plough Vronsky, plough plough plough plough Madison and Wabash is next.
Ooh ... I'm trying a little behind the scenes work to see if I can prompt a post :)
I think I've figured out Ogged's fiendish plan.
Flogging an ogged is like looking a dead horse up the arse.
What do polar bears get when they sit around too much?
Re: 170
Why dear Profgrrrl, what sweet, um, ear you have.
Flogging an ogged is like looking a dead horse up the arse.
For those of us who have not engaged in the latter activity, would you care to expound on the similarities?
This thread is invalid due to multiple hog-line violations.
Did you just call me fat, John?
I tried. I tried. I sent a photo. He says no, but thanks.
(Perhaps he is trying to keep the photo to himself? He really is secretly in love with me and doesn't want all of you scoundrels seeing a cleavage shot)
I tried. I tried. I sent a photo. He says no, but thanks.
(Perhaps he is trying to keep the photo to himself? He really is secretly in love with me and doesn't want all of you scoundrels seeing a cleavage shot)
I really don't think 185 is disproved.
In light of this, though, I don't really think we can accuse Ogged of having lost his solicitude for his homies.
Profgrrrl,
We ALL are secretly in love with you, bless your heart.
And "like looking a dead horse up the arse' is a wacky expression that, as far as I know, my Dad invented. I can only imagine what he means.
PG: what you need to do is post the picture on your blog, so that ogged makes a post here telling us about it. It's the Grand Tradition!
Profgrrrl,
In Ogged's case, I don't think "secretly" is quite the right word.
I will, however, take the secret of my love for you to my grave.
I forget who current has claim to my blog-love. Somebody around here.
It's Cala, for the Gershwin and Metallica comment.
Hmm.
Posted by: Standpipe Bridgeplate | Link to this comment | 10-25-05 01:30 PM
_______________________________________________
300
Aha!
Oh, I thought that might be it. Gravest apologies for the spoilage.
No no, no apology necessary.
Posted by: Standpipe Bridgeplate | Link to this comment | 10-25-05 01:39 PM
_______________________________________________
1000
1000! And a pony.
SB--how did you trick the comment box?
Hey, we can all play this game.
_______________________________________________
10000
10000! And 10 ponies.
The comment box frowns in displeasure.
That's it, I'm starting over.
Posted by: eb | Link to this comment | 10-25-05 01:47 PM
_______________________________________________
1
Let's try to say things to make ogged break his hiatus.
This is entirely too silly for An Eclectic Web Magazine For The Discriminating News Customer.
Posted by: washerdreyer | Link to this comment | 10-25-05 01:55 PM
_______________________________________________
0
The ur-comment.
I just ...
[spoofed comment line, link and timestamp]
_______________________________________________
[spoofed comment number]
figured it out
If ogged forward the photo that he's currently ogling to FL and has FL post it (this is what he suggested) that sort of almost halfway counts as him posting, right?
What makes it all the more interesting is that the photo was taken in ogged's presence :)
Please, anything to displace the nipple.
Are you allowed to tell the story behind 217, grrrrly?
Only once ogged posts the photo :)
This is just like the Plame indictments.
I'm sure he'll be whipping out his subpoena any day now.
If he does, someone will have to give him testimony, and not the other way around.
You don't really want me to post that, do you?
If ogged suggested it, and went so far as to send you the photo, it would be negligent of you not to.
I assume 225 is directed to PG? I mean, I don't see why I'd be expected to answer "No."
(Does 220 hold if Labs posts it for Ogged, or are you holding out for the end of the hiatus?)
It was for ogged to post. Anything else is a cheat.
So he showed you the photo, Labs? Or is that really ogged?
Come back, Ogged! Your homies beseech you!
(Actually I'm not sure if it's proper for me to say this.)
fajita night at the firm buffet! A sizzling fiesta!
I love you ogged like the fat partner loves firm buffet.
the fat sloppy one. Fat and sloppy like my love. Not fat and angry, like the other partners.
