"Would someone please post something?"
Man, can I
Play Cortez the Killer by Neil Young and Crazy Horse as loud as you can in the presence of your friend. Repeat as necessary. That's all you need.
The Complete Guitar Player, by Russ Shipton doesn't completely suck. That is, I'm completely musically inept. When I started dating Mr. Breath, he had guitars scattered all over the place, and attempted to teach me how to play some. This did not work (radical incompatibility of what 'explaining how to do something' means.). Cranky about this failure, I picked up a copy of an earlier edition of the linked book, and got to the point where I can do something that could be charitably described as playing the guitar a little -- I know ten chords, can do a little finger picking... I still sound terrible, but I'm playing the guitar badly rather than not playing it at all, and the book I linked was very helpful in getting me there.
The downside is that the book's kind of embarrassing. Wildly simplified, and the songs it teaches you are terribly lame. But for getting up from total ignorance to being able to play some (and, therefore, being able to do something with cooler sheet music) I thought it was pretty good.
Everything About Guitar Chords by Wilbur M. Savidge. I also really like Guitar: A Complete Guide for the Player (ISBN 1571455612) which covers basic playing and rhthmn techniques for a variety of styles, as well as discussing guitar history, production, types, maintanence, as well as effects and amps. And, it has pictures.
You may want to think about a DVD.
I bought my little brother this for his birthday:
http://www.musicroom.com/se/ID_No/068326/details.html
He's more or less a rank beginner and he says, although I've not watched it myself, that it's pretty good.
A very good series of books, but perhaps not aimed at the outright beginner, are Guthrie Govan's books for "The Creative Guitarist" which are very well put together.
e.g. vol. 1 is
If you let me know what style this person wants to play i can make more detailed recommendations (been playing quite a long time).
It's not for me, but a friend of mine
Don't be ashamed, Labs. The feelings you're experiencing are a perfectly normal part of a young man's life.
Yeah, a friend of mine is wondering about something too. About whether he should be worried about growing hair on the palms of his hands.
Ogged's market share doesn't seem to be going anywhere. This may have been a power play on his part, to prove himself indispensible so he can jack up the prices. Pretty soon we'll be seeing $10 beers and $100 lap dances.
In the meaningless snark department, Kotsko and Bitch are way too light in the ass. We must look elsewhere.
Sorry, but this has to go somewhere: Nutt says Dick to replace Johnson against Cocks.
I highly recommend this:
http://musicthing.blogspot.com/2005/06/guitar-superdork-returns.html
As a supplement to the true learning texts, your friend also needs to get to know OLGA -- the online guitar archive. It shows how to play the chords that make up almost every rock song you've ever heard of, plus many you haven't.
Nutt says Dick to replace Johnson against Cocks.
Almost as good as Young Boys Wankdorf erection relief.
It's been twenty years since I bothered with this sort of stuff, but back in the day The Guitar Handbook was beloved by all the music nerds I knew. There may be a better one out these days, but I doubt there's any that as well summon up an era just by its font. Plus, profiles of Jeff Beck and Robert Fripp - stylin'!
Try wholenote, although its less of a gift item.
"Would someone please post something?"
I have! I have!
Just not, you know, here. I don't have posting rights (not asking, to be sure).
I could comment, but I've been trying to post. Definitely don't have anything to say about guitars, though. Uh: like to listen to them well-played. Good?
You should probably stay away from FL's friend for awhile, I'd think.
"Ask the music geeks," a thread at I Spit on Your Groove at peoplesforum.com would be an excellent place to post this question.