Sure to jump up to number 1,234,022,421 on Amazon's best seller list.
Called Scooter by friends, and by lovers, Libbito.
Sure, it's weird (though given the similar man-on-beast musings from Senators Santorum and Cornyn, not entirely surprising), but not nearly so weird as the thought of a grown woman in the throes of passion calling out, "Oh, Scooter! Scooter!"
I submit as my thesis that these people are perverts.
It's not a normal functioning guy who, when challenged about the rigor of his opinions on a national radio/TV show, thinks to say, "hey, your wife asked me for a threesome, buddy."
I'm not judging, mind. Not necessarily. But I still think a lot of Republicans have some crazy shit going on in their heads that has nothing (obvious) to do with foregin policy.
A bear????
What the fuckity fuck. A bear trained to want to screw children????
??????
Well, you know those Japs are all perverted monsters, Cala.
hey, your wife asked me for a threesome, buddy
When did that happen? I must have missed it.
That settles it, Santorum fucks goats. Film at 11.
Not even to cavil at the sexual grotesquerie of the whole bear thing, it's just so impractical. A procedure like that wouldn't produce frigid whores, it'd produce dead little girls. We're talking about bears here.
Didn't he have an editor?
It's the whole "right wingers are small-weenied perverts" thing again.
And it's all true :)
Wow. More gems in the New Yorker article.
This reminds me in a way of covering Ancient Greek literature as a freshman. We talked about the absense of sex, hetero or homo. Lots of allusions, or maybe-allusions, but very little saying it outright. The analogy that was drawn was, "why don't contemporary authors discuss eating? Because everyone knows you eat. The ancients had a similar attitude about sex. Everyone knew what went on, it was common, and therefore, not interesting enough to describe."
I don't think anyone would put as much sex in a novel as Libby did unless the author found sex to be a really interesting subject. And this was published in 1996? We can't call it an adolescent thing. The question, I think, is why does anyone find bear sex or samurai incest to be such interesting subjects?
A procedure like that wouldn't produce frigid whores, it'd produce dead little girls. We're talking about bears here.
Yeah. I highly doubt poking a bear with a stick would make it particularly horny.
Instapundit (Oct 29):
SILVER LININGS: Scooter Libby's novel is rocketing up on Amazon.
re: 11. Since when has Imus been all about abusing Republicans on-air?
16: Depends on where you poke it, I guess.
18: I suspect he may begin to do it more frequently.
Note that His Magnificence didn't believe us.
the first search result on amazon for "lewis libby" is Children of the Corn.
hardcovers start at $2,100. That's expesnive smut.
The question, I think, is why does anyone find bear sex or samurai incest to be such interesting subjects?
To defend Libby a bit, I have a hard time imagining that bears raping little girls is a major fantasy for him. I have to think is that he was trying to come up with something sexually bizarre for shock value, and fell over the line into ludicrous rather than shocking. I doubt it shows he's much of a pervert, but I'll take it as evidence that he's a bit of an idiot.
Or racist (which was the point of 7, above, if anybody was wondering).
the point of 7
Two words: tentacle porn.
True. I sort of spaced on the Japanese element.
Something I saw yesterday, can't remember where, was complaining that no one makes fun of Democratic politicians for writing books with bizarre sex scenes. Are there any Democratic politicians who write books with bizarre sex scenes?
I have a hard time imagining that bears raping little girls is a major fantasy for him.
Truly a weird thought, and not something we can know. But, yeah, I would be surprised if this was a sexual fantasy for him. Still, I think he has a odd fixation on sex.
Barbara Boxer's seems pretty vanilla.
Well, the bear is OBVIOUSLY Russia. and the little girls could be, umm, Eastern Europe.
The cage is the iron curtain, and, oh, crap. I go with Michael in 5 - he's a pervert, and a stupid one at that.
No wonder the guy was always appointed and not elected.
And I'm not saying writing perverted erotica is a crime, or even being a perv is a crime, but damn it all this guy is a perv and I'm not going to mince words here!
Searching for LB's question, I found this.
The topic was an interesting one - whether or not an internet service provider should allow Horsley to post the names of abortion doctors on his website. Horsley does that as a way of targeting them and one doctor has been killed. In the course of the interview, however, Colmes asked Horsley about his background, including a statement that he had admitted to engaging in homosexual and bestiality sex.
AC: "Are you suggesting that everybody who grows up on a farm in Georgia has a mule as a girlfriend?"
NH: It has historically been the case.
15: (I know this was a ways back) Michael, did you ever read any Aristophanes? It's all sex and scatology. Plus the strap-on leather phalluses.
Then again, some people think Aristophanes was a conservative, so there you have it.
—That's some act. What do you call it?
—"Aristophanes".
(uh-WRIST-oh-fains)
I've read the Clouds. But not in that class. We did read the Lysastrata, where there was a maybe-allusion to lesbianism, and lots of strap-ons. No actual descriptions of sex though.
I guess more to the point we were mostly talking about Homer. And what was going on in Achilles' tent.
My comments: now with xtra needless xplanation
As long as we're on the subject of creepy Republican porn, I can't see Charles' hand, but judging from Laura's face, I think we may be seeing the first trans-Atlantic Shocker.
Clouds and Lysistrata are two of the tamer ones. Even in Clouds, there's a lot of talk about cock size.
Peace and Wasps are more fun. In Birds, two old men talk about looking for penis marks in the sand where the teenage boys perform their gymnastics. Nobody fucks bears or deer though.
Homer doesn't have much hard core action. I think you are right -- it was assumed, and not considered all that important.
Did you just allude to Vanilla Ice?
Re: 29
Well, the erotic mention of kneecaps is a little off, but clearly not Scooter-class.
Light up a stage and wax a chump like a candle.
Cookin' MCs like a side of bacon.
But bears? Maybe he's not a perv but there wasn't anything short of bears that could turn a woman frigid?
How the hell can these people get published and then set policy for universities?
BEARS?
The real gem from Mr. Ice's debut album was "Havin' A Roni".
I'm guessing "roni" = "sick onion".
It was recently revealed at a halloween party I was attending that a "roni" is, in fact, a nipple whose areola is approximately the size of a slice of pepperoni (that is to say, rather large).
Two of my guy friends seemed to agree on this. Anyone care to confirm?
How pitifully naive of them. In fact, when one remembers that Rice-a-Roni is the San Francisco treat, the true meaning becomes obvious.
(I have no idea, of course.)
Apuleius' "The Golden Ass" has quite a bit of classical bawdiness. Although technically the main animal protagonist is a human whose been magically metamorphosed into donkey form...
He's a perv, and when I use that term it means something.
I'm no prude. I can understand but not condone rape fantasies. And who hasn't been turned on by, I dunno, Cat Woman? Or the woman and horses thing is okay. (Not the 'Catherine the Great' thing, but the 'large muscular object between the legs' thing. But bears? Nah. When Yogi gets 'picnic baskets' we mean 'picnic baskets!'
Well, I didn't actually listen to the V-ice song, so I don't know if it fits in to that context.
But I was rather amused.
Never heard it before. Does pepperoni come in a standard size?
Now we all know what is white and climbs up your leg.
Uncle Ben's perverted rice.
I don't know if it fits in to that context
Oh yea.What it's like.
Havin' a Roni.
What it's like.
Havin' a Roni.
What it's like.
Havin' a Roni.
What it's like.
Havin' a Roni
Oh yea VIP in full effect
There's not much context. If you listen to the sample I linked up there, you'll hear, amidst the most fartacious beat-boxing ever recorded, the lyrics repeating, "What it's like / Havin' a roni". This does suggest that the roni in question is Vanilla's.
Perhaps his beatboxing is the description of what it's like, havin' a roni.
Traditionally when the pizza guy says "Here's the pizza, and here's the pepperoni" he's not referring to any, um, female parts.
Ah, yes, the heartwarming Pornmas traditions.
Why would the pizza guy hand you the pepperoni separately? Presumably, you want it on the pizza, no? Mmm. Pepperoni Pizza.
Also, worst-rapped line from "Ice Ice Baby":
"Feasible rhymes you can vision and feel." Cracks me up.
Who wants to explain to silvana what I think is going on?
(It's really just a quote from The Interpretation of Dreams.)
I was 11 or so when the song came out, and a friend of mine penned the response "piss, piss baby," which was all about -- you guessed it -- urination. Lots of lines didn't have to be changed very much, such as: "will it ever stop, yo, I don't know/ turn out the lights, and I go."
It was very much the rage for a week or so.
64: I find her confusion touching, and do not think it should be remedied.
I didn't get it either.
Do you mean you didn't get it before, or you still don't get it?
Before. It took me a shamefully long time though.
Havin' a Roni
Willie Wonka and the Sausage Factory.
But it was one of your finest hours!
(You meant 65, right?)
The temporal scope of my "before" was restricted to the lifetime of this thread.
Are you suggesting my finest hour (the finest, I'd have to say) is somehow related to pizza toppings?
Which, perhaps, brings us back to xtra xplanation.
Presumably, you want it on the pizza, no?
Whatever floats your boat. As we used to say in the 60's, "do your own thing, baby."
I believe that the pizza man offers the pizza and then displays his chopper.
Somewhat off-topic (or maybe not), side headline on cnn.com right now:
Watch: Gang-rape victim becomes rights champion
Um, no thanks.
That's it?
Sometimes I think my mind is too dirty for my own good.
The "That's it?" counter-meta-troll! Silvana wins.
(Also an effective move when presented with the pepperoni.)
Re 84. I like definition 10: "a booger that drives a big body benz and wears armo leather jackets."
I believe that the pizza man offers the pizza and then displays his chopper.
The pizza man wants to give you a tip. And then the rest.
Heh. My sixty-seven year old father is taking some time off from work with a bout of sciatica, and a few days ago asked "You read those political blogs, don't you? What are the good ones?" He's a sober, straitlaced type, so I steered him toward TPM and the Washington Monthly, and told him to follow links to anything that looked interesting.
He just called saying "Did Libby really write a pornographic novel, or is this crazy people making stuff up? Something about bears?"
Mom just sent me an e-mail saying that a friend of hers copy edited Libby's novel. "Not a very good novel," says the friend.