I'm sorry to say this, but if by 'downtown' she means anywhere south of 96th St. in Manhattan, $1600 a month is really tight for no roommates. As in, I'm not going to say impossible, but I'm going to think it. With a little more info on which subway lines she wants to commute on, I'd start recommending uptown/outer boroughs neighborhoods.
I think she's aware of that: she said she just saw a place for $1350 that might have been big enough for a twin bed. She might well have to revise either the budget or roommate requirement, but that's what she's hoping for.
If I were her, I'd flex on the neighborhood. Downtown Manhattan is just crazy -- I don't know how anyone affords to live down there. If she's set on it, I think her best odds for cheap and livable are the Upper East side, on the east side of the East Side.
But I'm not being helpful, just making doomfilled pronouncements. I'll email if I hear of anything specific.
Jeez. $1600/month here would've been a mansion, before Katrina.
I remember looking at a good-sized 4 bedroom house for somethin around $1200.
My friends and I once rented a five-bedroom house for $1600. (This was the summer after I graduated from HS, so not where I go to school. Here it would be more.) We had a guy living in the garage for $100/mo. Good times.
I'd think you'd have to pay him more than that, wouldn't you?
You'd think so, but he was very small (leprechaunish).
Brooklyn Heights (Borough Hall area) would be a good place to consider. It's only one stop from Manhattan, easy access to a bunch of the subway lines, and the nightlife is rapidly improving. It's expensive for Brooklyn but still cheaper than Manhattan. For downtown, there are still a few (although very few) deals to be had in the Financial District on or near Wall Street or by the WTC, but the area is totally dead after 6 PM. No worries about crime even though the streets are deserted, though, because of the cops patrolling the streets with M-16s. Other than that, for Manhattan, LB's suggestion of the Upper East Side around First Avenue would be her best bet for that price.
Craig's list:
Gramercy ($1345!)
Upper East Side (no street provided)
I don't have any insights into this problem that joe schmoe off the internet wouldn't have, other than to recognize that it's a problem, and that she shouldn't use a broker.
(It seems uncouth to rule out any restaurants, so let's just say that I'll leave the choice to your good upbringing.)
Now, why would ogged explicitly mention this? If you have good upbringing, you don't need reminding. Rather, he wants to put in your minds the thought of an absurdly expensive restaurant. Why? Because he can't justify going to one himself, but if someone whom he's promised a meal makes the request, he'll have to (out of his senses of honor and pride) take them wherever they choose. So he wants you, UNY representative, to make an outrageous selection—in spite of your good upbringing. This argument may be a bit telegraphic but I've got to run. I'm sure you can work out a fuller version on your own.
I recall him seeming envious when unf told him, Kotsko, and me about Masa. Just sayin'.
I'm ready for you on this one w-lfs-n. Of course, ideally, I wouldn't need to mention it at all, but I was fairly certain that someone--you, probably--would start a "make him take you to Masa" movement, and knowing how these things take on a life of their own, I decided to try to nip it in the bud (knowing, even so, that someone--you, probably--would try to call me on it).
I assumed you were trying to rule out this place.
1) Get Ex Banned from a blog
2) Threaten to sue for $500,000
3) Profit!!! (And bigger apartment.)
(flees)
Ah, good thinking. After all, I don't have good upbringing. (Though couldn't you still rely on the good upbringing of the New Yorkers to ignore such as myself?)
From the link in 16: History repeats, in small and large ways because history is made by humans. It is like the Mandlebrot set.
I have no idea what that means.
History repeats, in small and large ways because history is made by humans. It is like the Mandlebrot set
Obviously he's quoting Marx -- "Those who forget history are condemned to the Mandelbrot set, etc"
18: It's obvious! History is like the mandelbrot set, because both are made by humans. Sidenote: history is also like fish sticks, automobiles and ceramic figurines (among other things), for much the same reason.
(Okay, so what Deignan was trying to say actually makes sense. But why bother unpacking the pretension?)
Men make their own history, but they do not make it just as they please; they do not make under conditions chosen by themselves, but under the conditions of the Mandelbrot set.
Now I get it.
PD really is the gift that keeps on giving (from the same link):
The next act in this drama will belay all doubt.
I love the mental image of doubt hanging from a rock face, like Stalone in Cliffhanger. Though maybe doubt is the one at the bottom holding the rope, in which case it might be time for PD to climb down.
ps - no apartment leads, though this reminds me that last time i posted here that my sister was moving out of brooklyn someone sent me a side email to ask about the apartment. aah nyc.
I must note that one given definition for "belay" is "to cause to stop."
Or perhaps:
Hegel remarks somewhere that all great world-historic facts and personages appear, so to speak, twice. He forgot to add: the first time as tragedy, the second time as the Mandelbrot set.
I must note that one given definition for "belay" is "to cause to stop."
I must confess I looked it up, saw that, and posted anyway. Too much time belaying my daughter at the rock gym, I suppose. So sue me.
So sue me.
That's not a bad idea, Chester Wellington.
It's just rappelling to me, all this outing of the pseudonymous.
If she's really desperate, I could put her up for a couple of days in very up-town (123rd). Not ideal (squeaky bed, no door), but pretty decent for emergency crash conditions. Give an email, and I'll give a cell number.
I must note that one given definition for "belay" is "to cause to stop."
Yes, but it's used in an imperative sense. ("Belay that!") He clearly means "allay all doubt". Or possibly "splice the mainbrace all doubt."
OT, but ogged, I'm wondering about that post and comments designed to draw you out of hiatus: Did any of them come close to doing the trick?
Like everyone else said, $1600 won't be enough for anything bearable in downtown, or the E. Village or any other "cheap" neighborhood besides--perhaps--the way Upper East Side. If the Ex is working in downtown Manhattan, Brooklyn is her best bet. I recently moved from Ft. Greene to Park Slope and am in yuppie heaven (and if you live close enough to the 2/3 line along Flatbush a commute downtown is a cinch). Also, I don't think using a broker should be verboten--they cost more upfront, but if you find a good one you save a lot of time not looking at places you don't want and, they probably have access to places you'd never find on your own anyway.
Feel free to have the Ex email me if she'd like more info on Brooklyn.
21: That's Santayana, actually.
17: This seems uncanny, but ? Is there some kind of joke that depends on understanding the Latin?
And in that case, shouldn't it be "al34 14ctoor4 35ttt!" Cala understands the good life.
teh g00d l1f3!!!
(Uncanny as all get-out. My fears have not been belay3d! and they tumbled down the cliffs to their doom, in the win3 d4rk s34.
Purity of heart, if one could attain it, would be to act with grace and self-command from the standpoint of the mandelbrot set.
God, this is fun. I'm going to keep the find/replace function running in my head when I teach.
Ogged,
My sister found a place on the lower east side (right near the East Village) for about $1K a month. Her travails in finding the apartment are here. She may even have some ideas.
Sing in me, Muse, and through me tell the story
of that man skilled in all ways of contending,
the wanderer, harried for years on end,
after he plundered the Mandelbrot set
on the proud height of Troy.
I know of someone in Chelsea who pays $1400 a month for a two-room small place with no kitchen and I believe a shared bathroom.
41 to 39, and if sis thinks seeing a roach is a typical NY experience she has never lived in the warm climes. Not so many celebrities in Lubbock, though.
s/probably/b "distinctive NY experience"
Ha, although we lived in Florida for 1/3 of my childhood, she never lived there longer than a few months at a time. Palmetto bugs were a new experience. Imagine, a bug that cannot be killed by baseball cleats!
Also, I don't think using a broker should be verboten--they cost more upfront, but if you find a good one you save a lot of time not looking at places you don't want and, they probably have access to places you'd never find on your own anyway.
I'd say this as well. The thing to do with a broker is just to mentally amortize the (exorbitant) broker's fee over the length of the lease. If after you've done that, the apartment is still a good deal, you win.
And I was probably being too negative last night. The last person I had this conversation with was trying to do it for $1200, which really is impossible -- $1600 is probably in the realm of where Ex could get lucky.
Are palmetto bugs the ones that fly? 'Cause I think one drove me in terror to an undisclosed location several blocks from my apartment.
Isn't 'palmetto bug' just a nice way of saying 'fuck! a flying roach!'
Palmetto bugs are flying cockroaches that are the size of your fist. They are ugly fuckers, and I don't think environmentalists would be pissed if we could figure out a way to kill one of them, let alone each and every one of them.
TD, they probably would be upset. The important point is that they shouldn't be.
So... it's true, I do have an apt in the e. village and pay $1,000 a month for it. But I sort of have a roommate, and I don't have a shower. I moved here about six months ago, v. green to the realities of the NYC rental market. I didn't want to have a roommate, but realized v. quickly that I didn't really have another choice, on my budget (less then $1,100). So off to craigslist I went, and found some great places, some people who must have been crazy to think I'd pay that much to sleep on a couch, and, finally, the place where I live now. The deals are out there, just require a little extra work.
That said, I do know a couple of people who are looking for new apartments/new places and might have some leads. When is your Ex looking to move? I actually think she should be able to find something for less than $1,600 in downtown, roommate or not.
Good luck!
Oh, also. I found the roach in my refrigerator. I hate them both, but I'll take a g-d palmetto bug in the bathroom (and three guys around to kill it, TD), than a roach crawling around in my refrigerator ANYDAY.
(Disclaimer: this was the first week I moved into the apt, before I bought any food.)
You have to keep the roaches in the crisper, or else they get all limp and mushy in a couple of days.
You know boric acid is the key, right? It's pretty non-toxic (kills roaches mechanically, by scratching them to death) and if you spread it around all the cracks and corners in your kitchen (where walls meet floor, shelves meet back or sides of cabinets, countertops meet walls) it usually takes care of even a pretty bad roach problem.
It occurs to me looking at the quoted prices that US rental prices are lower than the UK.
I pay about $1200 US a month for a 1 bedroom flat several miles outside the centre of Oxford and I'd have to pay more to be in the centre. And that's Oxford, not London.
Students here often pay $600 a month (and can pay quite a bit more) for a room in a shared place.
I think we're probably talking about nastier apartments in NYC at the low end of the market, though. (Once you leave NYC or San Francisco, probably another couple of places, you're right that rents are much lower here.)
30:
Not ideal (squeaky bed, no door), but pretty decent for emergency crash conditions. Give an email, and I'll give a cell number.
Holy Moly, renting out prison space?!
NY City is definitely a TOUGH town.
Her budget is $1600/month, for a place with no roommates
I understand the gutter space on W. 37th is going rather cheap, probably within her means as long as she stays west of 10th Ave.
LizardBreath (re: 57) well, $1200 for a one bed apartment here is right at the low end of the 'acceptable' market. Luckily the place we have is pretty nice and has a living room and kitchen but anything else in that price would normally be pretty seedy or run down although might be in a cooler area i.e. rougher but closer to bars/shops.
34: You need to know Latin. Deignan said "the die will soon be cast"; "alea iacta est" means "the die is (or has been) cast".
(I live in a 2-room studio in SoHo, paying just a hair under $1600.)
That is to say, it's possible. If she's diligent.
Joe! I was just wondering where you had gotten to.
Ben! One of my snowed-under times, unfortunately. Still trying to write my way out of the law firm life.
I pay $200 less than the target amount for my share of a quite nice 3 BR (the guy living in the master bedroom pays more) in the East Village. I am also just piling on the debt in order to do this, so I don't have to suffer the pain from it until the future, at which point I may regret my choices.
Does it come with a washer/dryer?
which point I may regret my choices.
Heh.
What's funny about that is that he's a law student.
64: let me know how you're doing with that, Joe.
Joe,
Do you mind letting me take a peek at anything you think is worthwhile? I won't steal, or even criticize. I'm always on the lookout for something new and good to pitch to the theatre commitee here. We ain't Broadway, of course.
66: Yes! In fact, the landlord bought it just before we moved in.
71: Oh my god - a place in NYC with a washer/dryer? I am soooo jealous. That's my biggest gripe about living in the city.
Do you mind letting me take a peek at anything you think is worthwhile?
I have something worthwhile that I'll let you peek at, Tripp.
Bwahahahahahaha!
I'll bet you say that to all the boys!
text -- if there's any news, I'll post it, don't worry.
Tripp -- e-mail coming your way.
with a washer/dryer? I am soooo jealous
It was the move from a place w/ w/d to a place w/o that drove me into the arms of plastic clothing. Not that I would ever go back.
Only because your prospects keep moving to Sweden.
I keep saying this, but it's true. In North Dakota $1600 is the down payment on a house with an acre of land. A second $1600 payment might buy the house free and clear, or it might not. A third, fourth, or even a fifth monthly payment might be required.
ND consistently ranks among the 5 best states with regard to crime rate, HS graduation rate, unemployment rate, and life expectancy. For decades it has also had the highest, or one of the highest, outmigration rates of any state in the country.
This message is a public service of the anti-utilitarian league.
But is there anything to do in North Dakota, besides drive to Montana?
If you had land, you could grow things, and then make stuff with them! For instance, you could plant lots of apple trees, make cider, and then distill it.
You'd have to draw on your own inner resources. Also, cable, satellite, and mail-order. Locals mostly drink, huff, geeze, or attend church.
By "geeze" I meant "tweak". "Geeze" is a local dialect word.
Is there anything to do in Lubbock?
In Lubbock you can subbock a fubbock.
And how many hours will that take him?
In Lubbock you can subbock a fubbock.
Why on Earth am I laughing at that?
Ten hours. He's not very busy, right?
There is nothing to do in Lubbock. Which makes it an ideal setting for philosophy.
Indeed, 84 was not intended as a gloat, but as a cry of pain. Though Santa Fe (6 hours) seems to be the preferred driving destination.
Actually, the current plan is to do laundry and then (if there's time) see "The Station Agent" again at the student union, "reading job applications" having been suspended.
Uh, what do these people who drive from Lubbock to Santa Fe do when they arrive? Ski?
Thanks for the tips and kind offers (I'm looking at you, Jackmormon). She's been reading the thread, and continues to look. I'll let you know how it goes.
Hey, we does what we can. Despite the above calumny, my guest room is better than a prison, I swear. Sheets are clean, we've jerry-rigged a curtain system, we're nice--what do you want?
I do mean it, though. If the ex of Ogged needs a crash-zone for a few days, and is willing to put up with our silliness, she could find far worse places.
That really is very kind. She seems to have lined up friends' places for at least a couple of weeks, so with any luck, she won't have to impose on you. But I kind of hope she does anyway.
Why on Earth am I laughing at that?
My thumb's on your secret chortle button.
Aren't threads not supposed to have exactly 100 comments?
Either way.
There's a reason why this one stalled out at 100, but I can't explain it until SB gives me posting privileges.
"Subbock a fubbock" was of course brilliant. And I understand that in Santa Fe one can buy overpriced hippie tchotchkes.
Thanks, Matt.
At one point I'd considered using 100 to explain what prompted ogged to laugh, pointing to our recent discussion of the Donnie Darko quote, and stipulating that anything said as though through finger-trilled lips is extra funny. But then I decided not to, because it was too much typing.
Also, if the blog exists, and you find it, you're welcome to post there.
