Re: Two Balls Good, Three Balls Bad

1

Thanks for thinking about my balls, ogged. My massive, wrinkly, hairy balls.


Posted by: Chopper | Link to this comment | 12- 5-05 12:07 PM
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Not a problem if you trim the hair off your golf balls fairly regularly.

ash

['Now, start an argument about boxers v. briefs.']


Posted by: ash | Link to this comment | 12- 5-05 12:17 PM
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Your testicles themselves, Choppo, aren't wrinkly. You're thinking of the scrotum. No, the testicles are sheathed in a smooth, covering, and are themselves a veiny mass.


Posted by: ogged | Link to this comment | 12- 5-05 12:17 PM
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4

Or maybe this thread is about to save Chopper's life.


Posted by: tom | Link to this comment | 12- 5-05 12:21 PM
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If you have a lump, it's not always cancer. So just let it go if you find it, hoping that you'll be one of the exceptions.


Posted by: Adam Kotsko | Link to this comment | 12- 5-05 12:21 PM
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Adam, that advice will be much more awesome when you can call yourself Doctor Kotsko.


Posted by: ogged | Link to this comment | 12- 5-05 12:26 PM
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From Anne's linked page, one symptom that is not a sign of testicular cancer: "A lump on the epidiymis or tubes coming from the testicle that kind of feels like a third testicle."

Is that just poorly phrased? Because finding something that feels like a third testicle just doesn't seem like a good sign to me.


Posted by: Jackmormon | Link to this comment | 12- 5-05 12:30 PM
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8

Hey little lady, here at the Mineshaft, you just let us men sort out the lumps from the balls.


Posted by: ogged | Link to this comment | 12- 5-05 12:32 PM
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9

Don't forget to wash your hands, people.


Posted by: Michael | Link to this comment | 12- 5-05 12:33 PM
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Because finding something that feels like a third testicle just doesn't seem like a good sign to me.

Unless you were taking massive quantities of Viagra and steroids.

ash

['Well, stupid is, as stupid does.']


Posted by: ash | Link to this comment | 12- 5-05 12:34 PM
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Your testicles themselves, Choppo, aren't wrinkly. You're thinking of the scrotum.

Fair enough. My saggy, baggy, wrinkly, veiny, massive, and very, very hairy scrotum.


Posted by: Chopper | Link to this comment | 12- 5-05 12:36 PM
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When I took women's health in HS, we were taught that half of breast cancers are detected by women's partners because they noticed the changes before the women did. I wonder what the percentage is for men and testicular cancer. Similar, or is there not as much partner familiarity there?


Posted by: Becks | Link to this comment | 12- 5-05 12:37 PM
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Don't forget to wash your hands, people.

Hey, I know my rights: I only have to do that before returning to work. And, as it happens, I never left.

I assume everyone has already seen this (hell, there was probably a thread on it).


Posted by: tom | Link to this comment | 12- 5-05 12:39 PM
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8. Okay, Ogged, wouldn't finding something that feels like a third ball freak you out?


Posted by: Jackmormon | Link to this comment | 12- 5-05 12:42 PM
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15

tom: #38 and #41.


Posted by: apostropher | Link to this comment | 12- 5-05 12:44 PM
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In my twenties, I lost a ball to testicular cancer. On the bright side, it made bicycling much more comfortable afterwards.


Posted by: Paul | Link to this comment | 12- 5-05 1:25 PM
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Lance Armstrong's secret revealed!


Posted by: apostropher | Link to this comment | 12- 5-05 1:43 PM
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I'm past the prime age, and have never noticed extra lumps, but this weekend a pain started. At first I thought it was a sore muscle, but it is definitely a sore testicle.

Very odd. I'm pretty sure I would have noticed if, I dunno, I got wacked hard enough to produce a bruise. Yeah, I think I would have noticed something like that.

So, any ideas on what this might be?


Posted by: Tripp | Link to this comment | 12- 5-05 2:02 PM
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I got wacked hard enough to produce a bruise

That superfluous "got" - is that a Minnesotaism?


Posted by: apostropher | Link to this comment | 12- 5-05 2:05 PM
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Lance Armstrong's secret revealed!

My god, this may actually be true.


Posted by: Joe Drymala | Link to this comment | 12- 5-05 2:14 PM
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I actually discovered mine after I strained myself moving. The next day, one side was swollen and it hurt to walk. I thought I'd herniated myself so I went to the doctor and the following examination revealed the malignancy. YMMV, but if you have any swelling or pain it might be safest to check have it checked out.

Lance Armstrong's secret revealed!

Really. When I was back in bicycling shape, it felt so good I (briefly) considered having the other one removed.


Posted by: Paul | Link to this comment | 12- 5-05 2:16 PM
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Two balls good, three balls bad, four balls and you take your base.

And hush up about the Lance Armstrong thing or next year they'll all be doing it!


Posted by: Tripp | Link to this comment | 12- 5-05 2:18 PM
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I actually discovered mine after I strained myself moving.

I'm pretty sure I discovered mine when I was about 2 1/2. That was a happy day!

Seriously, though, what happens to one's testosterone level when a testicle gets removed? Does the remaining testicle increase production?


Posted by: Tripp | Link to this comment | 12- 5-05 2:22 PM
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"If you have one testicle removed, there are no lasting side effects. The other testicle makes up for the missing one by making more testosterone and sperm."


Posted by: apostropher | Link to this comment | 12- 5-05 2:26 PM
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25

Joking aside, it might be a flareup of orchitis.


Posted by: apostropher | Link to this comment | 12- 5-05 2:30 PM
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I'm pretty sure I discovered mine when I was about 2 1/2.

Inches?

What apostropher said. The plumbing still works and I still get hot water.


Posted by: Paul | Link to this comment | 12- 5-05 2:37 PM
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A few years ago I noticed something odd. I told my doctor. He sent me to a urologist. The urologist poked around. He said the lump was a free-floating calcification (calcification of what?) and asked me if I wanted the pebble cut out. I said no, it wasn't causing any trouble. He said that was the right decision.

But if I had it removed I could wear it on a thong around my neck. Or play marbles with it.


Posted by: Zeno | Link to this comment | 12- 5-05 7:42 PM
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28

Or you could hook up with five other men who had had the operation, and build a set of Newton's balls.


Posted by: Jeremy Osner | Link to this comment | 12- 5-05 7:56 PM
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29

I was thinking specifically of tubular cysts. Nothing to worry about. It often would do more damage to try to get rid of them.


Posted by: Adam Kotsko | Link to this comment | 12- 6-05 10:48 AM
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