Norris gets a lot of screen time in The Ultimate Showdown of Ultimate Destiny.
Wilt Chamberlain claims to have slept with more than 20,000 women in his lifetime. Chuck Norris calls this "a slow Tuesday."
I now have a theory that the reason some people get annoyed with you for being nice, or attempting to sound studly, is that it disturbs the cult of Ogged. Gotta maintain that consistent persona, a la Chuck.
He may be Chuck Norris, but he ain't no Paul Daniels, that's for sure!
My favorite: Chuck Norris does not go hunting because "hunting" implies a chance of failure. Chuck Norris goes killing.
Ah.
3 was me, of course, since my history keeps clearing every time I log onto my computer these days.
"Clear History" is a nightmare from which I'm trying to awake.
Some have speculated that tornadoes are caused by Chuck Norris farting. They are wrong. Chuck Norris knows his own strength, and controls himself.
Okay, so that was kind of lame, but I thought it would be a fun thing to use the thread for, so I wanted to start us off.
I think it would be more fun to do it for the cult of Ogged, based on comment 5--the cult of the non-nice, non-studly, Ogged.
LHF first:
Ogged's sperm cures cancer. Too bad he never scores.
But what's my persona, if not oddly unpredictable, ac?
Tia, I thought about trying my own, but I can't compete with "too bad he has never cried."
I am now filled with shame for the mean spirit of comment 10. Instead, let us have a thread about Chuck Norris farting.
Ogged's sperm cures cancer.
Ogged's true identity revealed!
14. Chuck Norris is currently suing NBC, claiming Law and Order are trademarked names for his left and right legs.
Sure, Chuck's tough. But he's no Robert Tessier. He won't kick your ass and clean your floors, now will he?
Look guys, if you're going to form a cult around Him (a step I believe to be long overdue), you've really gotta start hyphenating the vowels in His name.
The one Cala highlights is clearly the best.
That article doesn't mention the top thirty Vin Diesel facts or Mr. T facts.
Holy shit, the Vin Diesel facts are hilarious.
In our own ways, we are all that child thrown into the sun.
Every time a church bell rings, Mr. T pities a fool.
Mr. T destroyed the periodic table, saying Mr. T. only recognizes the element of surprise.
That seems more in character than Vin Diesel dividing by zero.
Here's some more from IntraWebNet, with pictures of Norris and T. I'm not sure what to make of the site's homepage.
I'm not sure what to make of the site's homepage.
For starters, they spell "IntarWeb" wrong.
I told Pandora I liked Sufjan Stevens, and a mere six songs later it served up this song from this album.
Chuck Norris is 1/8th Cherokee. This has nothing to do with ancestry, the man ate a fucking Indian.
Bruce Lee isn't dead. Just hiding from Chuck Norris.
as found in my recent autobiographical book, "Against All Odds?"
He sounds unsure of the odds.