"Something smells good."
The standard answer to this when I was in high school was: "It's my erection. I can't believe you can smell it all the way over there."
Would have been great if she'd said that.
Any woman who thinks she smells better than baked goods is delusional.
Which is why we use all of those vanilla-scented creams and lotions.
"vanilla-scented creams and lotions"
4: Maybe not if she works in a bakery.
Man, the first time I ever had sex (in the Clintonian sense), I though I should smell really good, so I finally cracked open the scented products I'm always getting for Xmas and never using, which that year included a bunch of Victoria's Secret vanilla stuff. I thought it would be mild, so I went a little crazy with lotion and power and spray, and I realized when I was done that my own odor was making me a little ill. The boy in question told me it wasn't a problem, but I didn't believe him.
I don't much care for vanilla-scented perfumes. I don't want to smell like cookies. I want to eat the cookies.
I hope she didn't have a yeast problem or she would have been really mad at you.
I agree, Tia. Too much vanilla is definitely a bad thing. Back before the smoking ban, I came home from a concert late one night reeking of cigarette (and other) smoke. It was about 2 AM, I was drunk, and I knew I had to be up in four hours for work, so I didn't want to take a shower because I was afraid that would just wake me up and I wouldn't be able to get any sleep that night to sober up. I had the "great idea at the time" to spray myself all over with a heavy dose of a vanilla-ish perfume to cover up the smoke smell so I could get to sleep (planning to shower in the morning). Yeah, that worked out great. I almost lost my dinner from the intermingled odors. I finally gave up and took a shower.
I don't think smell particularly tasty, but I can bake.
I think it's pretty charming how Mr. B brags about his domestic abilities. On the subway home from the meetup, he practically demanded to sew my pockets.
Oh, reading this thread is making me ill. I have a very sensitive sense of smell, and can't stand sweet perfumy smells -- being in the same room as a scented candle makes me terribly unhappy. That and flavored coffee. Actual perfume is usually okay, but the sweet ones sometimes set off the same need to lose my lunch. (I think it's something in the perfumes, rather than just the smell -- i.e., the actual smell of flowers or vanilla don't bother me at all, but a scented candle trying to smell like flowers or vanilla revolts me.)
he practically demanded to sew my pockets
That one probably was a euphemism.
so I went a little crazy with...power
A characteristic I've learned to watch out for.
And baking is vitally important. I do far less than my fair share of housework, and cover for myself with the occasional batch of cookies or loaf of bread. Making the house smell good on weekends is key for appear to fulfill one's domestic responsibilities.
I threw up once in church because of all the incense & the cloying perfume of the lady in front of me at some important Mass.
ogged--woman--unfortunate new perfume--sex act--trooper--never again.
You had to perform a sex act on a trooper because of her perfu--
Ogged, that story doesn't make any sense at all.
12. A missed opportunity - we should have discussed baking at the meetup. Somehow, I think it would have gone well with the harry potter argument.
In 21 was ogged just listing recent search terms which have shown up in the referrer logs?
I think Ogged's date was wearing a new, very nice, prefume, which was unfortunate, because when he was pulled over, the trooper smelled it, which resulted in a sex act between the trooper and Ogged's date.
woman--unfortunate new perfume--sex act--trooper--never again.
My best friend was in a similar situation with a woman while parked in a car in a parking lot. Police officer knocked on the window, had them get out in their partially undressed state, and asked for their licenses and registration (it was her car).
He looked over all the documents, and then started laughing uncontrollably. Turns out he noticed that the names on my friend's license and on the registration didn't match up, since the car was registered to the woman's husband, and figured out that my friend was not her husband. He let them go without giving them a ticket, so the husband remained unaware of the whole situation.
My friend is a bit of a bastard, btw.
Don't say you weren't warned, ogged.
31: That was the unfortunate new perfume?
Hmmph. I wanted to respond to 13 by linking to BPhD's post about Mr. B's claimed ability to tell, by a woman's smell, whether her period was imminent -- but I couldn't find the damned thing.
36: I dunno. Maybe, but I couldn't find it with numerous strange Google searches (with keywords like bitchphd, Mr. B, period, menstrual, premenstrual, cooch, copper, metallic, etc.).
Thanks, guys. I'm not at all creeped out now.
Sorry, B. My apologies (for that, among other things). I don't know why that's creepier than all the incredibly obscure things from comments here that people remember (which amaze me, even though I pride myself on having a great memory).
I'm not at all creeped out now.
Oh, but you are. We can smell it on you.
A friend of mine wrote a great story called, "Cats Smell Fear".
Oh, but you are. We can smell it on you.
Tit for tat, Clarice. Tit for tat.
Please, let's all talk as much as possible about my vagina and let's link to my blog as often as possible in the comments here. Because we all know that Bitch Ph.D. and Unfogged are officially linked blogs, by fiat of the primary authors of both. And that neither Ogged or I care at ALL about boundaries.
You link to your blog every time you leave a comment, you know.
Hey, maybe I should eat my placenta with some fava beans and a nice chianti.
(Trying to change the subject, if that wasn't obvious before.) The somewhat surreal story involved, as I recall, a young woman who threw dinner parties in which the other female guests had spit cups for their food, as in wine tastings.
#44. Yes, but I don't expect anyone to actually click over to the damn thing!
Tia, if you eat your placenta, would you tell me if it tastes like liver?
Anyway, despite that link, I think boundaries are good.
I don't think I remember what liver tastes like, B. I remember it being nasty when I was a kid, but my mom is a terrible cook and besides, I hated lots of things when I was a kid that are teh yum, so no, I'm sorry, I won't be able to.
Boundaries are good, unless you put 'em in the wrong place
I didn't mention anybody's vagina.
Foie gras is pretty awesome, aside from the cruelty.
Please, let's all talk as much as possible about my vagina and let's link to my blog as often as possible in the comments here. Because we all know that Bitch Ph.D. and Unfogged are officially linked blogs, by fiat of the primary authors of both. And that neither Ogged or I care at ALL about boundaries.
B, again, I'm sorry. If you don't want me to ever link to anything on your blog, I won't. And I wasn't talking about your vagina, although you do so fairly frequently. "Cooch," as best I recall regarding your post in question, was a word you used in reference to Mr. B's olfactory abilities, i.e. to detect odors emanating from other women's premenstrual "cooches." I am happy to respect your boundaries, and Ogged's, if I can figure them out.
Oh, Apostropher. You're my Unfogged blog boyfriend, you silly thing, you. Don't take everything so personally.
54: But that's what makes it so delicious.
Reviewing this thread (8,11,15), spit cups seem more relevant than I had thought.
Don't take everything so personally.
Who, me? I just wanted to say vagina.
Vagina vagina vagina.
You made me laugh, O., and for that I hate you.
Hate me, in a show-me-your-tits kind of way?
You're my Unfogged blog boyfriend
Wait, does this mean you have one at every blog?
wtf?
This may become your new handle.
"That's Mister wtf? to you, smartass."
jhtc why don't you fellas stop objectifying my bitch. It's too cold.
Some of us want her for her mind and her body, Mr. B.
I disclaim and disavow any purported attempt to objectify Dr. B or any part of her. I was trying to objectify your nose, Mr. B, but I have desisted in that endeavor as well.
72- You can go curl up and die. I'll joke with the rest, but not with you. And you know why.
Which would make sense, except that w'ere all Mexican.
JHTC, per acronymfinder.com: Jewish High Tech Community. Mr. B is saying that we're all part of the Zionist conspiracy to objectify his wife. Why did you have to go there, Mr. B?
Uh oh. I'm coming home now, dear. And I expect cookies.
Sorry, clarification: Jesus H (holy) Tap-dancing Christ, as said by Jake Blues in a moment of revelation.
You can't expect a bunch of Jews to get a Jesus acronym, sweetie.
Wait, he's standing in front of a black hole, he's wearing gold lame pants, and they pose him with a folding chair?
Plus they forgot to move the Coke can under the chair.
Someone tell me to go home, please.
82 - I don't, just hurried the commenting on account of angry, passionate, macho defense of your honor. 'was seeing red. 'Sides, I've not read enough here to know that anyone here is Jewish, least not that I recall.
Jews and Arabs, the lot of 'em. Except for the Mexicans.
Thanks for defending my honor. Cookies?
I can think of three off the top of my head. But I won't sabotage their attempts to pass as Mexican by outing them.
On the internet, no one knows you're not Mexican.
Is it just me, or does 87 read like a Kerouac letter?
Kerouac couldn't recall being friends with any Jews either?
No, he was friends with Ginsberg. Fine, I'm crazy.
One can often also tell by taste, in addition to smell. That's to be expected, since the two senses are closely related.
99: Whether someone's Jewish?
Kobe!
You, me and LB. Kind of like the Trinity.
The Trinity is Jewish. I can smell it.
Shouldn't 100 be "Wilt!" rather than "Kobe!"?
Thanks for classing up the joint, 99.
There's always one that goes too far.
Adam Kotsko: Unfogged's Infamous Bad Boy
That's what a theology degree will do for you.
It's always the Catholic girls who go bad.
I really hope this Mexican thing continues for years to come.
Boy, I'm half-Jewish, I have a slight moustache--I'm constantly in this indeterminate state between smells and polarities.
(You know, I like The Chalice and the Blade. It just goes to show one should not procrastinate.)
Of course it will. The Mexicans can't be stopped, you know that.
Mexican is the new gay! No, wait. That doesn't really solve the problem.
4, 20: Looking back at the beginning of this thread, I am reminded of the guy who claimed that my private bits smelled so much like incense that he had started getting erections in church.
72- You can go curl up and die. I'll joke with the rest, but not with you. And you know why.
I could respond in equally obnoxious fashion, but I'll forbear -- unless you really want me to.
On the one hand, an acrimonious flameout could be amusing. On the other, it could be unpleasant.
Hmm…
Hey what's going on in here? I don't read the comments threads for a day and everybody gets all personal!
A flameout in a thread called "More Lessons In Charm" would be a little too cute, I think. Maybe forbearance?
Without your irenic counsel, Jeremy, all hell breaks loose.
How you guys can talk about a flame war after Tia's last comment, I'll never understand.
Anyway, I'm not in the mood for acrimony.
Tia's comment was indeed hilarious. I'm not particularly in the mood for acrimony, either, but being told to "curl up and die" rubbed me the wrong way. Go figure.
F., It'd probably be best for all involved if you quietly went away.
Stop distracting ogged fro his thoughts of pretty green leaves, and the nice smell of colorful flowers.
Don't forget the rassling, laughing squirrels.
#119: Good thing he didn't throw up on your pew.
O, there's a difference between a flameout and a flamewar. The former are often amusing, the latter rarely.
This is kind of off-topic, but I was just reflecting how nice it was that none of my stalkers have ever followed me to Unfogged.
Maybe not, Adam, but I followed you to The Weblog.
Next up: Ben sues Adam for calling him a stalker.
Same here. Ever since I demolished the analytic-synthetic distinction it's been "Fuck you, Willard" everywhere I go.
Hey Willard, I gotcher desert landscape right here! *moons Quine*
96- I do believe that that is the most flattering comparison ever lavished upon any thing I ever wrote. Thanks
"Two Dogmas of Empiricism" is so not dispositive. Fricking Quine.
Yes, I at least used to have a stalker whom we affectionately labelled "The Troll of Sorrow." For a long time, he would show up in almost every thread I would participate in (except here) -- accusing me of being a pseudo-intellectual, of being too religious, of being a blasphemer, of reading atheist philosophers even though I was a Christian, of not knowing enough about the halting problem, of being a pedophile (because I'm going to a seminary, you know), of knowing nothing about reason or argument, of ignoring the trascendent genius of Quine.
It was weird. Sometimes he would go through these periods where it was like he was trying to reason with me, then he'd just get really really mad at me. Or he'd claim that he was going to leave me alone (having tired of me), but then comment again 30 seconds later.
So Ogged was actually pretty smart never to blogroll me, meaning that I never blogrolled him, meaning that the Troll never visited this page and discovered that I comment here regularly. Good job, Ogged.
You are a pseudo-intellectual blasphemer, Adam.
136: Maybe they just really hated the movie, and your presence reminded them of it. Admittedly, the chronology of events cuts against this interpretation.
It was you this whole time! You bitch!
For a long time, he would show up in almost every thread I would participate in (except here) . . .
meaning that the Troll never visited this page and discovered that I comment here regularly
The dude didn't have the smarts to Google "Adam Kotsko"? They don't make stalkers like they used to.
Yeah, now they're all just whiny passive-aggressive little shits.
Ah, ok, I had seen references to this "Troll of Sorrow", but had not understood the whole thing. That sounds incredibly annoying.
Adam Kotsko concealed the fact that the Troll of Sorry also called him a hich from Kalamazoo or Ypsilanti or whichever godforsaken town he's from. The Troll is a California sophisticate.
Has the Troll disappeared since it became illegal to annoy people anonymously (or pseudonymously) on the internet? Maybe. One guy has the Troll's ID nailed down, and maybe the fear of God have been put into him.
Wow, I had heard of disemvowelment from Wampum, but never knew about those other troll treatments until I read Holbo's post. Only the hardiest of trolls persists after being disemvoweled a few times.
For the uninitiated, disemvowelment would reduce the above paragraph to:
Ww, hd hrd f dsmvwlmnt frm Wmpm, bt nvr knw bt thse thr trll trtmnts ntl rd Hlb's pst. nly th hrdst f trlls prssts ftr bng dsmvwld fw tms.
138--I was serious:
"I don't, just hurried the commenting on account of angry, passionate, macho defense of your honor. 'was seeing red."
Seemed like something out of one of his letters to, dammit, I can't remember her name, but they published a collection of their correspondence. Or in Big Sur, when he talks about going to the reading at City Lights.
He is also an anti-Semite, so he accused me of being a "Skokie hick," because apparently Skokie (a Chicago suburb) has a big Jewish population. I didn't know that people still used "Jew" as an insult. And the weird thing is, I'm not even Jewish.
Not that there's anything wrong with that, of course.
Because my brain is just one twisty maze of random hyperlinks, the word "charm" somehow retrieves this excerpt from my memory from a Television Without Pity recap of American Idol:
Next up to audition is a guy with the unlikely name of Charm, who says he has a "love of music". Nobody who loves music would treat it so badly. He wails and shrieks "The Greatest Love of All." Music runs away and seeks refuge at a shelter for domestic violence victims. Music gets counseling for a couple of weeks and a part-time job as a secretary at a dentist's office. Charm comes crawling back, promising that he's changed and swears that he won't abuse Music anymore, but Music knows better. Randy and Simon tell him he's awful. In the confessional, Charm whines that Simon and Randy were mean. He's going to blame the rejection all on Music later and use it as an excuse to abuse it some more: "Bitch! What did I tell you about making me look bad?" When is Music going to listen to its friends and get that restraining order?
So when we call your drunk posting charming, you take it as a reflection on your karaoke skills?
Ben,
I was just clarifying, because Emerson seems (shockingly) to have a part of the Troll of Sorrow mythos wrong -- the town he mentioned was not motivated by where I grew up (I've never even been to Skokie), but by his desire to accuse me of being a Jew.
Kotsko the atheistic Jew seminarian. Makes sense.
He's going to blame the rejection all on Music later and use it as an excuse to abuse it some more: "Bitch! What did I tell you about making me look bad?"
Let's not drag her into this.
I've been to Skokie many times, most recently to buy "The Year of Yes" at the Barnes & Noble there. Skokie used to be very heavily Jewish. Frank Collin and his band of neo-Nazi idiots (met by a much larger group of counter-demonstrators) marched there 20 years ago to upset the residents, a fair number of whom are WWII concentration camp survivors. I think Skokie's a lot more mixed these days.
159: it was an attempt at humor. I frankly don't see how it can interpreted in a malevolent way.
If not malevolent, can you not see how it might not have played well? Sounded "off"? Have you got a tin ear, sir? At long last, have you got a tin ear?
note to self: when we reach Emerald city, ask for replacement for tin ear.
Ok, not only are you guys going to stop, but I'm going to delete comments 163 and 165.
Great, I'm glad this worked out then. Best wishes!
But now other comments are 163 and 165! Someone write me a Borges story.
Oh, Kotsko's comment and one I didn't get to read.
If I told you, ogged would have to delete it again. Have some pity on the dude.
What can I say? I'm an obsessive stalker following Bitch PhD around the Internet to defend her honor.
That's not a stalker... seems a bit more like a sidekick, no?
Shhh. Adam's and my relationship is a seekrit. I don't want Apostropher to get jealous.
oh, it wasn't my 163 that was so offensive? Whew. I'll cop to dumb, but I didn't think there was a proscription on Oz references.
Ogged is really sensitive about his tin ear.
Someone should create The Blog of Sand where no two comments ever have the same number and the numbers appear in no discernible sequence.
I once proposed labeling comments with random dictionary words.
I still haven't gotten the keys to the Bitchcave.
DIMPLE to HUGUENOT, obviously.
180-
I was going to suggest we make an acronym for "and that's not a euphemism" (atnae), but what we really need is a euphemism for "and that's not a euphemism".
XIXc euphemisms include donkey, rooster, white meat, dark meat, and limb for ass, cock, breast, thigh, and leg respectively. Of these, white meat probably would be the best substitute for euphemism. Dark meat would sound like a racial reference, whereas white meat sounds like white bread, and white bread people do use euphemism.
On the other hand, visit Mrs. Murphy is a euphemism for go to the toilet. So Mrs. Murphy could be used to mean euphemism, until an actual Mrs. Murphy shows up here.
This wouldn't be a euphemism though, it would be more like a kenning. Also, it would be strictly Gongoristic, though I would call it euphuistic.
Insert as needed to clarify sense and reference: """"""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""" Why should I do all the work around here?
"Also, it would be strictly Gongoristic, though I wouldn't call it euphuistic. "
We already have a perfectly good euphemism for going to the bathroom (shittings only): "legislate from the bench".
I'm afraid I have to insist on "legislate from the bench". Sorry.
I agree with Ben w-lfs-n 110%. That's more than it's technically possible to agree with someone, so you can tell it's serious.
You know, I'd like to second 125, and say that I tried to make this a joyous, gylanic thread about reverence and sex and funky smells, but y'all were driven by your dominator impulse to ignore me in favor of a fight. I am happy to see the conversation turn to shitting euphemisms (void the contract?).
Also, Fine. I'll do it.
I suppose this is just fear of death getting in the back door
Oh, is *that* what you're afraid is getting in the back door?
You people disgust me.
Wow, you're 26? That's pretty old. Maybe that's what "your private parts smell like incense" is a euphemism for.
Unfortunately for Cleveland, I've taken the browns to the superbowl many more times than they will ever go themselves.
Whatever, Kotsko. Aren't you 25?
I got that comment when I was 22, much closer to my prime. Aren't you 25? Just wait till next year when your penis falls off. What, no one told you?
Once your penis falls off, that's when you start getting into some really freaky shit. At least that's what I've heard.
Yes, I'm 25.
It's like losing your baby teeth, though. A bigger one grows in.
keep telling yourself that ben.
It's the only thought that gets me through the day.
189: Why do you call yourself Shit girl? That doesn't seem to square with your foldy bits smelling like incense.
You know, I'd like to second 125, and say that I tried to make this a joyous, gylanic thread about reverence and sex and funky smells, but y'all were driven by your dominator impulse to ignore me in favor of a fight.
You and Ogged are wise. Sorry I didn't heed the counsel. Cool neologism -- gylanic. Never heard it before.
You know, reading old threads about comment bloat and such makes me feel guilty, because I never properly gleaned that one's Unfogged comments should be carefully cut jewels, and I've never particularly edited mine or concerned myself with whether they were really *that* funny; I'm usually satisfied to make a good-natured attempt at humor, and I guess I lucked out by sidling in just when the comment volume got so great that w-lfs-n just couldn't keep up with the deviations from standard grammar and usage anymore. It makes me feel like I've been trolling, in a very mild way, all this time.
It is of the nature of neologisms that one has "never heard it before".
cut jewels... *shiver*
also, wha? there was never any quality control on Unfogged threads. if you read the old 100-comment threads, about half the comments are about how we might get 100 comments if we all keep commenting.
When preparing to heed the call of nature, I like to simply announce "Beeeep, beeeeep, beeep..." much like a dump truck.
We're all class at my house.
True. But surely there are neologisms ("truthiness," say), that I have managed to hear before.
Anyway, Frederick, "wb" as we say here on the webbage! Good to see you and whatnot. Can I interest you in a hot brandy flip, perchance?
204: Apostropher may be the hero, but Chopper is the sexiest! Schweeeet.
Thanks, ben. I could certainly use a drink, inter alia because I've slept in the office the last two nights.
"np" as we say! I wonder, though, if "truthiness" is really a neologism. After all, you've heard it before. Now, we don't want neologismity to be simply a matter of relative ignorance on the part of the listener, for many a person has not heard words with old and even impressive lineages. And yet, is there not some truth the the expression, "if I haven't heard it, it's new to me"? Neologisticalness is, I maintain strenuously, not simply a temporal affair!
This is a difficult question.
Also, technically, you used "inter alia" incorrectly there. There's no referent for "alia".
Is it neologismity or neologisticalness? Make up your mind. (How about neologismicity?)
Should your penis fall off, the logical thing would be to put it under your pillow at night as you go to sleep. No?
Said, in passing to a commentator this morning:
"Something smells like, bad."
Said commentator looked at me like "Duh, we're all talking about shit."
"No, I think its actually you."
"neologismity" and "neologisticalness" are both correct, highlighting as they do different aspects of neuwortlichkeit.
This reminds me of the song, Detachable Penis, by King Missle.
203: Thanks, I feel much better now. I guess I'm just fantasizing that a halcyon age existed just before I stepped into the scene.
So, like, Scarlett Johansson is teh hott!1!
We are all familiar, no doubt, with the infamous King Missle song "Detachable Penis." Although the song is obviously absurd, perhaps one must take the risk of taking the song at its word. Are we not all constitutively those with a detachable penis? Do we not always wake up every morning to "find that it's missing again"? Is not the "detachable penis" the best example of Lacan's objet petit a, the object-cause of desire?
I always think of "inter alia" as synonymous with "among other things." I see Black's Law Dictionary defines it that way. So the first thing, if you will, is "because I've slept in the office the last two nights." Why is that wrong? Usually I see people write the thing(s) and then put "inter alia" after it/them, but is it wrong the way I did it? (I trust that you'll tell me that the short answer is "yes.")
Hey, "constitutively". I & others were recently advised that if we wanted a career or paper, we should look at some word or phrase that pops up a lot without ever really being explained; examples given were "in virtue of", "qua", and "constitutive".
Ben's too nice. Red. Red. Red. 's all red.
Should your penis fall off, the logical thing would be to put it under your pillow at night as you go to sleep. No?
That depends whether you want it sewn it back on, in which case you should put it in ice and get to a surgeon ASAP (see "Bobbitt, John Wayne"), or whether you want the Penis Fairy to leave a dollar under your pillow. btw, Felicity Huffman used a detachable penis in "Transamerica."
Tia, I was raised not to make comments about odors in the personal area. The younger folk will have to make up their own excuses.
"alia" is properly just "others"; it's the neuter plural so I suppose it could be read substantively as just "other things". But you could say: "I had many reasons; inter alia, I'm utterly nonresponsive to social signals"; here, "alia" would refer to "reasons".
We are all familiar, no doubt, with the infamous King Missle song "Detachable Penis."
Missile. Really, Ben. I expected better of you.
Follow the link, apostropher. I merely report—you decide.
Like so many other things, it's Kotsko's fault.
Ah. You did live up to my expectations. I apologize and will don this hairshirt.
We are all familiar, no doubt, with the infamous King Missle song "Detachable Penis."
I know my spelling of the word "missle" is controversial. And I invite debate. That's one of the things that's great about this country. But the American people can tell honest debate from defeatism and undermining.
235: Not very neighborly, TD.
236: The terrorists have won.
kay wait. I have a rules of jinx question. Is it still possible to jinx the little bitch who shall not be named for 192-193. If so, jinx personal jinx 1-2-3 no takebacks!
To those who would jinx, I say: tempus fugit! Carpe diem!
I can't even remember what being jinxed means. I owe you a coke, right?
No, you're not supposed to comment until I say your name. But now that you have, I get to punch you, that is, if it was a legitimate jinx in the first place. We need a panel to adjudicate.
Given the nature of the case, I don't think I should be held accountable for comments made while the legitimacy of the jinx is in doubt. After all, that would provide a way to silence people with grossly illegitimate jinxes, until a panel convenes and issues its decision.
Alright, you have a good point; I can't deprive you of liberty without due process. But who should do the adjudicating?
My ass, which is authoritative in these matters, says that this jinxing fad is one of the dumbest things ever to hit Unfogged. Who the hell started this? What are we, twelve?
You don't think that Tia has an inherent right to jinx, without all of the hassles of oversight? Do you want the terrorists to win, or something?
At the very least, Tia should be able to jinx so long as she applies to the adjudicating panel with 72 hours.
The jinxing fad arose naturally from the rejection of Weiner-pwning. Restore Weiner-pwning and all will be well.
Seven, ogged. We are seven, and we are legion.
jinx personal jinx 1-2-3 no takebacks!
Wwning is an abortion and ogged is right about jinxing.
What are we, twelve?
No, Mexican.
See, I totally just jinxed ogged. Teh relative simultaneity of comments is insufficient for jinxing purposes.
I'm not sure what Weiner-pwning is, but I know I pwn Weiner.
I think jinxing should only be allowed if we've all had our cootie shots.
I got that comment when I was 22, much closer to my prime.
Tia's prime was 23. Her next prime will be 29.
I pwn Weiner
This should be a t-shirt.
Weiner-pwning is the custom of calling 'pwned' when a comment has been anticipated. It originated because I like to say 'pwned'. In the mature phase of the trend, it was customary for the pwnee to say 'pwned!' in chagrin; the end of this trend toward humility led to the 'jinx' trend, which is far more pernicious and has real-world consequences.
We wouldn't need cootie shots if all you girls hadn't started commenting.
I thought that's what it meant. It just didn't make any sense.
I'm building a fort! 1-2-3 no boys allowed!! You're in my air!
Hey, that's like, every comment Ogged ever makes. Jinx!
I am seven, and I like it that way. It is a prime, and I have many more years of John Derbyshire's attention to look forward to.
Cootie shots, or … shots at cooter?
It wasn't always this way, Tia; not when people took care with their comments.
What are we, twelve?
We're merely trying to recapture the feeling of those summer afternoons of youth. The clink of melting ice in lemonade; the satisfying thud of a well-lobbed tennis ball on the lawn; the yells of small children pulling one another's hair. You know.
[sticks tongue out at Cala, runs away]
o o . . now I've got the cootie shot.
the cootie shot
This usage ATM parallels the more traditional "the money shot" in mainstream porn.
You know, I wanted to do this the democratic way, freely offering the judiciary a check on my executive power, but you radicals are asserting your right not to be governed at all. Some people only understand force, it seems.
267 -- a picture would be worth a thousand words if only it could be provided.
Tia, you're a girl. Girls don't punch in Unfoddedistan. They pull hair.
#215: I wish to make clear that I was not part of this conversation, and have no idea what it was about. Thank you.
#242: If called upon to adjuciate, I agree that Tia has the right to hit Ben.
#245: I thought you liked 'em young, Ogged. Make up your damn mind.
It is a joy and an honour to receive one of Tia's punches.
I always suspected you were a bottom, w-lfs-n.
271: Please rank: a) joy and honor of receiving one of my punches, b) joy and honour of receiving a photo of Bphd's breasts.
I always suspected you were a bottom, w-lfs-n.
A-and, I think I've finally figured out what "Tia" is short for!
How could I, Tia? I only have experience of one of them.
I know it is a joy and honour to receive one of your punches, but have never experienced that joy and honour myself.
I suspect they're incommensurable anyway.
#271: I feel sure it's no contest, as a punch involves actual physical contact, plus it's personal--whereas photos of breasts on teh internets are as common as, well, a very common thing.
Perhaps Ben getting punched is a similarly common affair.
I might prefer photos of Tia punching Ben. No offense, B.
None taken. I'd rather see Tia punch Ben, too.
I fully accept the right of other commenters to jinx me, so long as the jinx itself is not construed in such a way that it applies to me.
Why not a photo of Tia punching Ben, with Bitch's tits in the background?
photos of breasts on teh internets are as common as, well, a very common thing.
Photos of Bitch, Ph. D.'s breasts on the internet are however scarcer than hen's teeth.
Sadly, not as scarce as all that. Because I am cheap and tawdry.
285 is pointless without a link.
Now that I have consulted the urbandictionary, I see that bitchtits are indeed very common on the internet.
Sorry, by "on the internets" I mean "available in digital form," rather than "posted on a web page."
That I know of.
See, that conflicts with the definition I had in mind when I wrote 284.
B is old school. She prefers Usenet.
alt.binaries.pictures.bitchtits
Sorry, by "on the internets" I mean "available in digital form," rather than "posted on a web page."
We should demand authentication if any photos show up. There are people out there who make their livings forging famous tits.
I don't think that the Tia-w-lfs-n picture was real either.
292 -- hey are you accusing me of fraud?
By the power of Ogged which has been vested in me, I declare Osner to be guilty of fraud. He is now an outlaw and can be abused freely, as though he were Ogged himself.
Well, you're now sort of an auxiliary Ogged. Is that not a wonderful achievement?
an auxiliary Ogged
Oggedziliary.
Let it be proclaimed, then, that when Ogged is not in the house, we should all cast aspersions on Oggedzilla's sexuality.
Actually it's Chamberlain / 666.666.....
Not that alleged Chamberlain statistic; I was referring to his 100-point game.
You're off by an order of magnitude, btw. Wilt "only" claimed 20,000 in his book, not 200,000.
((Chamberlain X 8) - ( Kobe X 5) - 1)
304 would make sense if it had an exclamation point at the end.
That would be, like, a huge number.
In high school, my friends and I had a running joke about how to pronounce expressions using the ! (factorial) operation -- it was really funny. We'd say, like, "5!," you know, emphatically.
dude, we're going to have to wait till comment 720 for the next integer factorial.
#291: So I do. However, there's not a lot you can tell from that tit picture other than that apparently they function.
Same here, Adam. Only it was just me. Me and the laffs.
the next integer factorial
Is factorial defined on non-integer inputs?
Can we not have another math-geek thread?
I'm trying to put off paperwork here, and I have no way to participate, other than to hand out purple nurples.
My graphing calculator would return a result on non-integer inputs. I assume it knows what it's doing.
to hand out purple nurples
First one goes to Urple, obviously.
Actually, it looks like Kotsko signed up for the first one.
Hey ogged--wtf is up with comments lately/today? I've been getting 404s after everytime I post. When I hit back and then refresh, my comment is there, but still...
307: We did a similar thing, only it was in college, and it was for pronouncing predicates in Scheme, which end with a question mark, to wit: list?
I don't know why I just admitted that.
Are decimal points important in math? I thought they were like commas, just to help you remember numbers.
316: I always get the 404 error, too, but the comment shows up, so it's only a minor annoyance (to me, anyway).
Decimal points are critical in math. If you didn't have them, you wouldn't have a symbol that identified the surrounding numbers as decimals.
(pointedly ignoring chopper) -- John, "decimal points are important" when you are talking about series, because series only have discrete members unlike functions which are defined along continuous ranges. Factorials are a series of numbers -- there is a factorial of 1, a factorial of 2, etc. but no factorial of 1.5. What Adam's calculator is doing, according to this Wikipaedia page, is Gamma function -- this is a function which coincides with the factorial series for integer inputs. Gamma is defined as, Gamma(z + 1) = integral from 0 to infinity of t^z * e^-t dt. For any integer n, Gamma(n) == n!. Trickier to calculate than factorials tho.
Note, 321 was written before reading 320 -- the Chopper whom I was "pointedly ignoring" was the one who asked for no math-geekiness because he would have nothing to contribute. But in 320 he has clearly rebutted his own 312.
Wikipaedia
Would that be the Wikipaedia Brittanica?
Also: Osner, you just ordered yourself up a nice pinkbelly.
And a million is quite a bit less than a billion? Like half as much?
I usually just throw out the zeros, because face it, they're nothing. Did I mention that I'm an English major?
Hey, my link din't work proper! Here is the link to Wiki's discussion of the Gamma function.
Cool, I thought I was alone in using purple nurple.
The guy I work with gave the UPS guy a purple nurple this morning. This is not at all out of the ordinary.
I think one could fairly say that UPS guy was earning his pay today.
Matt #3: according to the jargon file, there's a similar custom for pronouncing predicates in Lisp, which end with a p or -p. Thus, one might say: "hungry-p?" (pron "hungry-pee").
Let us sing the praises of the Purple Nurple.
(SFW. Really.)
What do they call decimal points in Base 12?
So you're telling me there's some simpler method to calculate gamma functions for integers? All this time I've been doing them with pencil and paper.
332 and 333 got me wondering: How do you represent fractional numbers in binary? Is 1.1 equal to 10.0?
335 -- Here is how you represent fractional numbers in binary.
Binary fractional numbers are written out exactly the same way as in decimal notation. Eg: 1.01 (binary) is 1*2**0 + 0*2**-1 +1*2**-2; that is, 1.25 (decimal)---1.25d being 1*10**0 + 2*10**-1 + 5*10**-2.
The way finite computer hardware represents fractional numbers is not necessarily the way fractional numbers "are" represented in binary, no? After all, they'd have to resort to similar tricks for decimal.
Yeah true. Your 337 is nice and concise too.
330: Indeed Ben, we followed that convention, too. My sophomore roommate would ask each other if we wanted to go eat by saying, "food-p?"
From the jargon file: "One of the best of these [examples of the -p convention] is a {Gosperism}. Once, when we were at a Chinese restaurant, Bill Gosper wanted to know whether someone would like to share with him a two-person-sized bowl of soup. His inquiry was: "Split-p soup?""
My sophomore roommate would ask each other
And that sophomore roommate was—Walt Whitman!
Chopper -- as I walked to work this morning, I passed a dump truck backing up to the loading dock underneath the Empire State building, making its characteristic beeping noise; I thought of your family's cacaphemism. And I laughed.
[blush] The correct neologism is, "cacophemism". Teach me to try and sound all clever and literate! (Also on the walk this morning, I thought about this comments thread and that maybe we could arrange a screening at Banana Lofts of "Pointless Flame War II: This Time it's Personal". But Frederick and Adam seem to be getting along well enough in their tensely non-communicative way, so maybe not.)
