And since I stupidly refrained from making my offbeat prediction that would have been totally right on Oscar night, I'll go for it full throttle here:
Will, Gedeon, Kinnik and Ayla are going home.
Sorry, Tia. Everyone's too busy listening to me me me to want to gossip about American Idol.
They can do both at once! But I shall turn on your show.
So, like, the fire alarm is going off? So I may have to vacate the studio, if for no other reason than to save my sanity.
Ok, it just stopped. Disaster averted! That sure was annoying.
Probably shorted out by the flames.
I'd rather be consumed by burning fire than have to listen to that damn alarm.
Burning fire only, mind. No other kind.
Not even threats of molten flesh may interrupt.
Will, Gedeon, Kinnik and Ayla are going home.
An almost completely alternate list is: Kevin, Bucky, Kinnik and Melissa.
Taylor Hicks did his speech in a fucking EASTER BUNNY OUTFIT, people. Could Jesus take his wheel, please?
Gedeon is the only black male. He will stay. Also, he's clearly very talented, as both a singer and a performer. But for serious, he's the only black male, so he gets a lot of automatic support on the guys' voting night.
I wish that Bucky would finally go, for Christ's sake. I wonder how big a constituency he has. But I think it's between him and Will, who was a fucking joke last night.
Kevin's gone.
Kinnik's gone, because who cares?
I wish, I wish wish wish you were right about Hateful Republican Ayla. But I think it's going to be Melissa, who I think is not a star, but has a really great voice that I love.
None of the guys impressed me last night. Mandisa deserves to win, but she won't. I think it'll be Kat. Paris's stock drops with every performance. Chris has an outside chance.
The Easter Bunny thing was funny, Joe. He used to work in a mall as the Easter Bunny. So he showed off his costume. Everyone in my apartment was loving him. You are oppressing him with your Northeastern elite standards of cool. My roommate with a rock band also loves Taylor, so THERE.
I am also off the Paris train, and hopping on board with Mandisa. That Gloria Estefan song was near painful, and I like the song, so it must have been her.
I really think Will is going home tonight. That's the only one of my offbeat predictions I feel strongly about (predicting Kinnik is obvious). He's done nothing worthwile, and there's nothing about his personality that will rescue him.
I think Kevin can hang in there. He's rididiculous, it's true, but lovable, and he's one of the few people in this competition who's very presence entertains me, apart from their singing, and who will make the show more entertaining for me as I continue watching. I think there are other people who feel like me.
Bucky is what you wish Kelly was--a very sincere unpretentious hick, and he has fans. ALso, he's kinda sexy.
I think Gedeon is so weird and unlikeable that it will sink him. But you may be right about the black male thing.
Predicting Ayla will go is my wackiest call, but I think Melissa did well Tuesday, regardless of what Simon said, and Ayla didn't. I think the American people will reward Melissa.
I think Kevin can hang in there. He's rididiculous, it's true, but lovable, and he's one of the few people in this competition who's very presence entertains me, apart from their singing, and who will make the show more entertaining for me as I continue watching. I think there are other people who feel like me.
Yes, but you're forgetting that like Kinnik, Kevin was in the bottom 3 last week. That means he has to leap above two whole other people to survive this week. We already know that his real voting base is weak.
Bucky is a fine fellow, but not a dynamic performer. Kellie can perform; she actually has a shot at going really far in this contest. I know you hate Kellie so much, with her authenticity and her sweet smile and all the goodness and light that you covet so greatly, being that you dwell in darkness and despise the forces of the righteous, but don't blame Kellie for your fallen state. That is your own doing, Tia.
People I threw votes to this week:
Gedeon
Elliott
Kellie
Melissa
Mandisa
Kat
Okay, so I voted for Kat a few times. Ok? At least I'm not like the weirdos on the TWoP boards who have devoted pages and pages to talking about how fine her ass looked this week.
Joe, I didn't see last week's elimination show, so maybe they did it differently, but on the first elimination show they never said that the three they played those games with were actually the bottom three.
Joe, I know that Kellie, since she's very blonde and has hair that flies in her face and never says anything threatening ever, is everything you dream of in a woman, but you will never have her. Once you acknowledge that, you can get about the task of seeing through this game she's playing. I can accept that she doesn't know all the things she doesn't know, but I refuse to believe she's playing it up so much without some purpose to it, even if not entirely conscious. Seriously, if Simon says, "You're a naughty little minx," and she says, "I'm a mink," and continues to grin as Ryan all but pats her head and says, "We'll explain it to you after the show..." she's been trained to play stupid. There are lots of ways to say you don't know something without giving of the "I don't have a thought in my head" air that Kellie does. How about "minx--I haven't heard that one. Better look it up." But my bet is her game is conscious and calculated. You can forgiver her for that if you want, but she is to authentic as Taylor is to sedate.
Whoah, you vote? I've never voted. You're 'core. Does it cost money?
Joe, I didn't see last week's elimination show, so maybe they did it differently, but on the first elimination show they never said that the three they played those games with were actually the bottom three.
They did, in fact, do it differently last week. They pulled the bottom 3 vote getters out there, and said that that was what they were doing. Some of us watch the show, Tia, rather than pulling out our Ouija board and our magic 8-ball and embarrassing ourselves in a public forum.
I must say, the second paragraph of 14 is one of the more disturbing ramblings I've seen this side of Paula Abdul's Betty Ford diaries. But, let's play along with the charade that I'm addressing a coherent mind, and I'll attempt to unpack your hateful screed.
First, I am way out of Kellie Pickler's league, since she is a performer, which I have told Kellie on many tearful (her tears) occasions. Performers, as a rule, are not dateable, because they are each and every one a disaster, emotionally. Kellie, sweet as she is, is obviously no exception.
Second, what are people? What are we, really? Are we the faces we present to the world, or are we the muffled creaks emerging from the cellars of our weird psyches, mostly concealed but occasionally laid bare in all their monstrosity? I believe we must be both, Tia, don't you? While the lunatic within can bang around in an unsettling manner, like our own personal Sloth in our own personal Goonies, we know we cannot destroy him; he must therefore be chained down. This requires something hateful to you, oh Arbiter Of All That Is Keeping It Real -- namely, a persona. A mask. A series of mechanisms to cope with the harsh, windy desert that is man's inhumanity to man. Some of us, Tia, don't dwell in the My Little Pony world of princessy bliss; some of us grew up poor, with little quality education, and with fathers who are behind bars during our formative years. Some of us would be forgiven, really, for becoming callous and cynical after being dealt such a hand, but some have the grace to rise above.
I admit, the struggle to triumph over extreme adversity is disconcerting; many of us want the underprivileged to fail, because we feel that they somehow have earned their fate. I do not share that view of yours, Tia, but it doesn't surprise me. Many say that they wish success for others, but few of us actually do. When someone overcomes obstacles to achieve their dreams, it reminds us of our own inadequacy and lack of courage. I know this all too well; I have encountered it all my life. For you, Kellie will always be too much of this, or not enough of that. She could literally come onstage next week and be the opposite of what she is this week, and some would still hate her for the greatness and goodness that she cannot help but radiate. This is her cross to bear, but I do not pity her for it; she is strong, and will overcome. Because in the end, Tia, the haters always lose.
Whoah, you vote? I've never voted. You're 'core. Does it cost money?
I am a Cingular wireless person, so I text. I pay a flat rate for all my texting, so no, it doesn't cost.
Apropos of no thing, I just saw the Pennebaker documentary about the recording of the Company cast album, which was pretty neat, but not as amazing as I'd hoped. You might like it, though, Tia. Elaine Stritch is always entertaining, and this is no exception.
Kevin is like a prepubescent harry potter.
Kevin is like a prepubescent harry potter.
From the beginning of one of last week's recaps on TWoP:
Kevin opts for the double thumbs-up, no winking, because coordination like that doesn't really develop until the third trimester.
Joe. Joe, Joe, Joe, Joe, Joe, Joe, Joe. First, you assert that Kellie is authentic. When I say she isn't, you respond by defending inauthenticity is an understandable response to the human condition, which pretty much totally concedes my point.
(I might point out that we do have choices about which to don, and some are stupider and more oppressive than others, but considering what's to come, the full weight of my rightness might be too much to bear--I'd fear for you under the circumstances.)
You claim that I am the one who sounds like she's been filching Paula's stash, when you apparently mistake your adventures with a talking Barbie you reprogrammed to say "Calamari" for a real past with Kellie.
You try to cast my steely, clear-eyed vision as cynicism--an almost--dare I say it?--Bushian attempt to disparage what is nothing but the truth.
But I save the best for last. In spite of the fact that you are endowed with cold, masucline logic, and I nothing but a ouija bored...hold on. Is everyone listening?
I was four for four in my considerably daring predictions, and you only got one right: the one that was crashingly obvious.
Only one of us is connected with reality. Before you assume it's you--ask yourself: what are all those pills underneath your pillow?
Before anyone else says it "is" s/b "as" in the first line, s/b "bored" s/b "board."
What matter typos, when one is so right in every other matter of human concern?
Taylor Hicks? Really? Isn't he just a slightly less fat version of Michael MacDonald?
Slightly less fat versions of Michael MacDonald are hott!
(I don't know who MM is, except I've heard him mentioned in connection with the SEX GOD.)
This looks like a truly amusing flame war. Unfortunately, I have no idea what the fuck you are talking about. Could you explain it in terms of Sondheim songs (esp. from Into the Woods and Pacific Overtures)?
He's the ex-Doobie Brothers dude who was, for a while, constantly singing on MCI "The Neighborhood" commercials. He repackages soul songs for white America, and is almost infinitely objectionable.
Um, that actually was the part I understood -- I was thinking more of the Tia-JD colloquy. But thank you.
(Thanks are sincere -- I didn't clearly communicate what I didn't understand.)
Stay with me, Matt. It's the last midnight for Joe as an authority on Idol. No more. He is probably in agony, afraid to show his face in this thread; he's hiding like someone in a tree.
Another correction for 21: I need to insert "mask" in between "which" and "to."
Damn you Joe, extinguishing our flame war with your sodium bicarbonate of graciousness.