What's a tasteful response to this? I can't think of any.
Will Volvo sue for copyright infringement?
Yay prickelnde Erotik!
I think #2 is right. I read somewhere that they're marketing it as a masturbatory tool. Or something to get guys 'in the mood,' although I'm not sure how that was a problem in the first place.
Also, You really should check out the website. It's hilariously Eurotrashy. And really, what Eurotrash isn't hilarious?
A better question: what is "Eurotrash?"
I mean, I know it when I see it (I think). But could someone come up with a reasonable definition of that term? I feel like it might be one of these terms that everyone uses, but that means something completely different to each person. Fr'instance, I didn't really associate the concept of "sexual perfume" with that of "Eurotrash." But... I could be wrong.
The perfume isn't necessarily Eurotrash, but the website is.
I think at least one of the criteria for Eurotrashiness has to contain a point about David Beckham. Or maybe all of the criteria should contain points about David Beckham. I'm not sure which.
Also, when I think of Eurotrash, I invariably think of Kraftwerk.
Oh, come on, is Salon so square all of a sudden? I read the copy on the web site (amusingly poor translation from the German) and it's quite obvious that there is only one person involved in proper use of the product. Here:
"It's easy to use: shake the VULVA vial well, and the fluid is also transformed to optically resemble the object of every man's desire." (Aside: WTF?) "Then apply it to the back of your hand and sniff. Your libido wll take care of the rest all by itself."
See? Sniff the juice, turn yourself on. It's porno for the nose. It really doesn't appear that this is intended as a perfume.
The question is, which nation is the Eurotrashiest? Laid back Istanbullus aren't the most fashionable people on the planet, but they're a sight for sore eyes after traveling through Western European airports. In Italy the line is very fine between sleek and ET.
I maintain that the Germans are the worst tourists—worse than Americans by a site—because they combine the worst of Eurotrash (those soccer pullovers?) with Americrap (fanny packs).
. . . by a sight. (Have mercy on me; I'm going into my 25th straight hour of work. Impending doom/deadline.)
Warsaw Airport.
Eurotrash rating: Off the scale.
Minsk.
Well just go to Minks once and revise definitions.
I stand by this statement.
A better question: what is "Eurotrash?"
There's a long-running programme on British tv devoted to just that topic called, of course, Eurotrash. (Wikipedia description with list of guests and features.) Of course, it tells you as much about what the British think is Eurotrash as anything else. Actually, as it's produced by a continental company and hosted by a French guy, I expect it's a deep piece of satire, mocking the British for thinking the continentals are weird, by shoving in their face just how weird the continentals can be.
Hm, the girls don't seem to be weighing in on this one.
Somehow, I'm with 5 and 7: When I think of Eurotrash, I think of RTL Programmes and FC Schalke.
Mind you, there is a Soccer supporting element in Holland that could well take the biscuit too.
12: I think I upset them by insinuating that anything involving David Beckham is inherently Eurotrashy.
The perfume is obviously targeting that portion of the female demographic who think that vagina-juices should attract men but are concerned that their vagina-juices are somehow off.
Maybe it should be sold in a packet with Japanese underwear.
when I think of Eurotrash, I invariably think of Kraftwerk.
Kraftwerk aren't flashy enough to be Eurotrash, IMO. Now Moroder, maybe. And Ceca is definitely Eurotrash. Mmm. Hot, Eurotrashy, Serbian nationalists.
If you're a man who wants to become the object of every man's desire ... is the scent of a real vagina really going to attract the kind of guy you're looking for?
One word: crossdressers.
It doesn't seem implausible to me for this to be marketed as a perfume to women ISO men. I mean I'm not up on all the biology involved when it comes to nasty bits but it seems to me like they smell different when a woman is aroused, right? Which she might not be at say, the party where the man of her dreams is lurking -- if she had been maybe his head would have been turned by her musky scent.
And: Kraftwerk is proto-Eurotrash.
BTW, "her musky scent" turns up some interesting results at Google.
I think this is just following in the grand tradition of perfumes. A professor once explained that the original perfumes (musks) were intended to cover up the scent of our own apocrine glands (those things that make your collar yellow) and replace it with a scent that is almost chemically identical, but comes with a price premium since it's ripped out of animals. Perfume: historically stupid.
Also: the website seems to be identifying this as "vulva original". I wonder what spinoff versions they have planned.
Well, there was that restaurant in Germany which catered to anorexics...Sehnsucht, it was called ('longing'). Ah, dem Germans.
In looking to raise some money for some unexpected medical costs, I am willing to caress fake mustaches with my vulva and auction to the highest bidder. Put under your nose and call it a scent savour!
I am willing to caress fake mustaches with my vulva
Hooray! Carolina vulva is the best!
Well, there was that restaurant in Germany
Does anyone else read this opening and think they are about to be regaled with a tale of the naked-lady sushi parlor?
Incidentally, Broadsheet's suggestion that the companion scent be called Nut Sack seems a bit unsubtle. I propose Balzac, which makes it all literary and sophisticated.
31 -- hmm? I have been to Germany but have eaten at neither the anorexia place, nor the naked-lady sushi place.
The ladies already knew about this thing, people.
My initial response when I heard about it ages ago (that is, when it was posted at Kotsko's site earlier this week) was, "I can see why that might be an interesting perfume." Then I told my more practical girlfriend about it, and she said pretty much what Tom said above: "there are cheaper ways to smell like pussy."
BTW, perfume that smells like pussy is totally Eurotrash. Because, you see, the Europeans, they are, how you say? So much more sophisticated. They wear perfume. They are not afraid of ze sex.
The idea of it as a masturbatory aid is stupid, and just goes to prove that men have control over way too much money.
Listen, in the FAQ, one of the questions involves a future fragrance "for women". This is meant to be purchased and used by men, not women, people.
w-lfs-n, you are clearly not the pre-eminent vulva theorist of our time.
Oh, my. That Eurotrash TV show looks amazing.
A grand business idea would be to get these folks and Dr. Myra Vanderhood of Pherotones.com together and watch the "science" fly.
#34: Yeah, it's obviously aimed at the boy market, and I'm sure, given that some men will spend thousands on silicon sex dolls, it'll sell there.
It's all part of the inevitable decline of the West. Pussy perfume as a masturbation toy, Beanie Babies, it's all the same.
BTW, perfume that smells like pussy is totally Eurotrash.
What's natural pussy smell, then?
The idea of it as a masturbatory aid is stupid, and just goes to prove that men have control over way too much money.
Wait, why is it self evidently stupid as a masturbatory aid? I'm not wearing any right now or anything, just curious.
Also, every time I see the title of this post in the comments sidebar I hear the chorus from that Bryan Adams song, "Tell Me Have You Ever Really, Really Really Ever Loved a Woman." I know I'm not helping by commenting but it's driving me nuts.
AAAAAIIIIIIGH Armsmasher you killed my brain.
You can see (oh god someone help me) your unborn children in her eyes ICK ICK
Are you really really really, really really really fine now?
All-American, baby.
See, my stereotype is of Americans as smelling clean, artificial, inoffensive. I can see how sex perfume is quite Eurotrash, but more so than a simple combination of (natural) sex and strong perfume? The perfume-body odor combination seems to be popular in many places in Europe.
It's self-evidently stupid because, come ON. You really need pussy perfume to get it up? No you don't. Jesus, porn is a multi-billion dollar industry already. I'm sure what the world needs is *one more* masturbation toy for guys.
But then again, you don't need all that stupid porn, either. Maybe I'm just cranky today, but the pussy perfume just makes me wonder if maybe the real problem is that 90% of all men are completely impotent and can't masturbate without an entire apparatus of consumer products helping them to get it up, y'know? It just seems so ridiculous.
Maybe I'm just cranky today
Rocking the Vulva Menstra, are we?
I hear the chorus from that Bryan Adams song
As per usual, I am blissfully unaware of the song. I just hear Al Pacino saying "Hoo-ah!"
But then again, you don't need all that stupid porn, either.
See, that's why you think VULVA is stupid, too: it's porn, that's all it is, but in the olfactory form it is barely recognizable. But one can hardly deny that sex has at least as much of an odorific element as a visual one, so why not?
I'd be interested to know whose fetishes draw them to porn like this, and why.
I dunno, B. It sounds like it's self evidently a fetish, you know? If you're saying that the whole kitten kaboodle stinks, then I think I understand your, umm, righteous anger?
the Vulva Menstra
The vulv a-menster.
48: Yes.
49: Yes.
51: I'm not feeling righteous anger so much as jeez, give your money to UNICEF or something, already. Hence the Beanie Baby comparison.
48: Yes.
Wow, you really can smell it!
I just hear Al Pacino saying "Hoo-ah!"
I remember coming out of that movie thinking it was a version of Hamlet. No longer recall why.
54: The question is, does it make you horny, baby?
55: No. Fucking. Way. That movie sucks ass.
righteous anger
Yeah, sorry, that sounded snotty of me.
Nah, it's not like I don't have a rep for righteous anger. I'm just too exhausted lately to work up a head of steam.
53- B I get your point, insofar as maybe no one should buy any porn, as surely feeding starving children in Africa is more important than my beating off on a lonely saturday night, but here's what I don't get: is this worse or more trivial to you somehow than any other masturbatory aid? Or are they all essentially Beanie Baby equivalents?
The question is, does it make you horny, baby?
Just being awake makes me horny, B.
Whether it sucks ass or not, it may still have been consciously referencing Hamlet.
59: Do you need porn to beat off? I manage it without porn pretty much daily. Also, somehow, yeah, the vulva perfume bugs me more than internet pics of nekkid women. Probably b/c it's new and I'm accustomed to the latter as just part of the culture. Somehow the invention of a totally! new! kind! of! porn! suddenly makes me go, "dear god, when will it stop?" And that helps me realize that all the old kinds of porn are really kind of stupid too.
61: Granted. I retract the first part of 56.55.
I manage it without porn pretty much daily.
You filthy, filthy slut.
Yeah, yeah. Ok, my slutty self needs to go pick up my kid and buy him some spring boots. Have a nice afternoon.
63: No, I don't. But a lot of people do. And it's not "porn" anyway, it's a masturbatory aid. Regardless, I'm actually inclined to agree that most such masturbatory aids, a category that includes pretty much all pornography, are harbingers of the demise of our civilization. I just wouldn't have expected you to agree with me.
But Urple, people who don't masturbate the same way B does are teh l4m3.
People who don't masturbate the same way B does are teh m4l3.
67 is just really rude. I'm an asshole, but I'm not that much of an asshole.
bitchphd: you're right, I'm sure, but isn't it worthwhile as the setup to 68?
sigh. i have a feeling finding unfogged et. al. is going to be a timesink.
70: Yes, but I still had to point it out. And it is a terrible, terrible timesink. But so much fun!
67 is just really rude
Ahem: "...he doesn't take himself remotely seriously. You probably shouldn't either."
Ahem. What makes you think I was taking you seriously?
(Anyway, you know I'm on the rag; if you're gonna tease a menstruating woman, you better expect to get called on it.)
xoxo!
During the Sixties there was a debate between Paul Goodman and Norman Mailer about masturbation and oral sex. Mailer disapproved of both and Goodman was more accepting.
It was at about that point that I should have realized that the The Revolution wasn't going anywhere.
I have a good attitude toward menstruation.
norman mailer disapproved of oral sex? who does that? wait, and masturbation? actually, that I can see as some kind of bullshit macho precious bodily fluids thing, but oral sex? eeeeeverybody loves the oral sex!
