I think I've just been scarred for life. Thank you.
Oh, god, I clicked before I saw the comment that it wasn't safe for work. Maybe an update saying really, really not safe for work? I was so not braced for hard-core necrobestiality. ('Don't you mean sado-necro-beastiality?' 'Now you're just beating a dead horse.')
Ahahahahahahahahahaha. Ben sent me those links before he posted 'em. I'm going to enjoy watching people's reactions. I think mine was something like "oh, dear god."
Heh, I was reading that Metatalk thread earlier. I wouldn't have thought that jessamyn would be the first one to bring the goods.
A comment on the second link's thread: "I’m proud of the internet. It has finally procured something so completely nonsensical I can only stare at it and wonder what the hell happened to the world."
That and "ew ew ew" pretty much sum up my reaction to these pictures.
You couldn't pay a dead chicken to fuck you, Fritz.
Nothing happened to the world; this stuff has always gone on. Digital cameras and urls have made it easier, or even possible, to "share."
7 strikes me as remarkably unfair to dead chickens everywhere.
If I've offended any dead chickens, I do apologize.
Is the editing for clarity being rotated? I'd hate to think it falls to one person with other duties.
Like most things around here, it's ad hoc. Whoever sees it first clarifies it.
Next time, maybe try some research, first? Would that kill you?
Because if it did, you'd be eligible for membership in the DCU.
Guys, I've started deleting rather than editing for clarity. Also, I think lots of discussion of the TOS is only encouraging. I propose a deletion on sight/code of silence policy.
But I'm not even finished with the first verse of My Favorite Things.
Oh, that was you LB? I thought those were the original comments. Sorry.
Can we still talk about dead chickens?
You people talk and talk, maybe sing a few folk songs about the dead chicken plight, but at night you go home to your toasty houses and what have you done for us really?
Nobody here but us dead chickens.
I agree we need our second topic to be something else.
Anybody have any thoughts about whether the fact that both of these involve creatures is important conceptually, or just for physical sensation? I've cleaned enough chickens to "understand" the first one, but I've never seen the organ featured on the first picture of the crab.
I wonder if Ogged is reading.
I'm sure he is, with interest.
what have you done for us really?
Lovingly massaged you with scented oils and herbs, and roasted you to a beautiful golden brown? With little crisp potatoes?
this comment thread is beguiling if you're at work, and so cannot see the pictures[?] in question...
15 - I'd just recommend editing over deleting in high-traffic threads since deleting when other people are posting can mess up comment number references.
24 makes me wish I were a dead chicken...
22: IDP, I thought that the crab organ in the first picture (link 2) was actually a leg, and therefore not particularly sexual. The sexual part comes afterwards, of course. It's been a while since I've eaten crab on the shell (and now it'll probably be a while before I eat it again), but wouldn't that be sharp?
No Spring chicken
No spring chicken
Noh spring chicken
Know spring chicken!
Shit, that last "spring" should've been "Spring"
24: "lovingly"? Maybe I'll be reconsidering that Tgiving dinner invite, LB.
26: Small price to pay.
28: So, JM, you vote for creatureness? That the appeal is doing it to these creatures? I think so too, at least in part.
28 makes me think I may be misunderstanding these pictures which I know only through Unfogged discussion of their contents -- is the crab picture somebody inserting a crab's leg into one of their orifices? I am hoping it is the leg of a dead crab? And yes, that sounds to me like it would be painful. Or is it somebody inserting one of their appendages into the cavity of a crab? That would seem to me like a bizarre and ultimately unrewarding activity but not necessarily painful.
No one answer 33. The Kid will just have to see it for himself when he gets home.
Unlikely, Bitch -- tonight is mostly dedicated to band rehearsal, and to minding The Modesto Youngster. (The Modesto Wife will be otherwise engaged, readying herself for tomorrow's medical ordeal.) If I get online at all it will not be to viddy naked chicks and crabs but rather to snark out my frustrations on this and similar comment threads. Speaking of snark, WTF happened to Fafblog!? I am drowning in a sea of unrealized irony.
Lovingly massaged you with scented oils and herbs
LB's been hypnotizing dead chickens.
I wouldn't say that I vote for creatureness, IDP, but I agree with the other part of your comment. Well, as long as "taking pictures of doing it with creatures and then posting those pictures to gross other people out" is factored into there somewhere.
The chicken one was disgusting The crab one I still don't understand. TMK -- if you're wondering what the chicken one showed, thing "That man could have been known as a warblogger if he hadn't had a good dentist"
"thing" s/b "think". (I supposeI could reuse that slogan as the shorter Dan Dennett)
No kidding? Really? That's great! It just happens that I love good food too!
35: Well, if you can't make time for us....
Speaking of snark, WTF happened to Fafblog!? I am drowning in a sea of unrealized irony.
A little bird tells me they're coming back sometime this week.
Should I click on those links or not? I'm of delicate constitution and shan't take well to shock.
Too late.
Ah, well. It's not like I was ever planning to eat food again.
is 42 a regular unfogged reader? 'cause god, that would explain a whole lot.
Are you referring to me or to the TOS post that used to be there?
Darnit, I knew we should have kept on editing mockingly rather than deleting.
46 -- i was thinking of you (in 42), not the TOS post (for which I came too late, and am duly confused).
i think the modesto kid only put into words what a lot of others have probably been feeling, about fafblog... and so if yer name really means you do know what your talking about when you say that fafblog's coming back ... then double-w00t.
and if this is all too revealing, or if i'm completely wrong, then edit this...
Wow. That may be the missing link in abstinence education.
Is the Mineshaft blog-connected or what? If this place is one reader removed from Fafblog!, I'm going to keep reading even after clicking through B-Wo's links.
I don't get #2 teh crab one either. I almost thought of that one as art; it sort of reexamines our relationship with food. It underscores the erotic element of all eating.
The first one was just gross and, obviously, NSFW.
I don't get #2 teh crab one either.
Um, you did scroll down, right?
People who have sex with food products such as plucked chickens and cooked crabs are sickos with a psychopathic fear of intimacy. True bestiality involves a meaningful, multidimensional relationship between two sensate organisms, with all the emotional risk that that entails, especially in the case of crabs.
You know, Buck doesn't generally read this blog. I was showing off a little: "Look, look, I got some links," and he saw this post.
"You're posting on a blog about chicken-fucking!? That's disgusting!"
So I've pretty much lost whatever credibility this blogging thing had in the Breath household.
Unfogged, the only blog that has to tell you whethe its both work safe and spouse/so safe....
Unfogged, the only blog
BWEEEEEEEEEEOMP
If I'd known it was that kind of party, I'd have stuck my dick in the mashed potatoes.
You know what I wish I could unwatch? The goatse video.
Why? Why? Why did I have to look around that site?
Unfogged, the only blog where saying "Unfogged, the only blog" is guaranteed to annoy Standpipe.
Which is, of course, all the more reason to do it as often as possible.
I bet it would annoy SB elsewhere as well, if only SB were aware.
Unfogged, the only blog with %100 of your daily allowance of calcium.
Unfogged, the only blog that can't be translated into Basque.
Unfogged, the only blog that snorts cocaine off your belly.
Unfogged, the only blog where I'm going insane.
Unfogged, the only blog that snorts cocaine off your belly.
Sign me up! But only if it comes with a side of drunk Apo flashing his tits.
I'll skip the coke & belly combo, thanks. I'm ticklish, and you'd just end up yelling at me for spilling it all over the sheets, like that scene in Annie Hall.
Except it wasn't cocaine, it was lobsters.
wait, I thought it was a crab?
Then what the hell movie was I watching with the lobster snorting?
Kitchen = lobsters.
Bathroom = spiders.
Living room table = cocaine + sneeze.
68: Possibly Tampopo?
MK, did you get to check out those links yet, hmmmm?
Possibly Tampopo?
Rather, this Sam Lipsyte story in n+1.
69: Where does one snort kittens?
('Don't you mean sado-necro-beastiality?' 'Now you're just beating a dead horse.')
ITYM "beating off a dead horse".
Those photos should be part of a website called "Steve, Don't F@*k It!".
Oh holy hell. I only now clicked on that link since I'm home from work. That's going to give me nightmares now - I won't even touch raw chicken with my hands without gloves because I'm so paranoid about salmonella.
58: Has anyone figured out what the hell the joke to that punchline is? Incidentally, I looked it up in the credits to Ill Communication and it's from a Moms Mabley album.
The littel bird that talks to Strasmangelo Jones lies. If I were Strasmangelo Jones, I would look askance at any future little-bird-borne divinations.