if you guys really loved me you'd comment on this thread.
It's still morning over there. Cut them some slack.
I also shall get drunk, on duty-free gin. It's good to have a plan.
You know I appreciate the information in point #1, but I think it could be presented in a more compelling fashion. We need a tournament in which people get knocked out by the spiciness of the food. It's probably preferable if it's painful.
"drug education" frequently backfires. "They said I would be a junkie by now but I'm fine?! They lied about PCP!!! and so on.
This is something that worries me somewhat, as a specialist in the epistemology of testimony. Tell people a bunch of bullshit about sex and marijuana and things like that, and why expect them to believe you about drugs that actually are dangerous? Also, doesn't the story of Santa Claus mean kids will never believe their parents again, even when it's important? What's up with that?
Ah, drug education. Officer Wilson told me in D.A.R.E. that everyone who did cocaine once got addicted immediately. I fantasized about making my "Pledge to Stay Drug Free" an essay about why I was not going to be instructed to make promises about my future by government propagandists, but I wussed out.
I remain very grateful that my drug and sex education in high school was taught by a crazy Latvian psychoanalyst who believed in providing us with the most accurate scientific information then available. She talked about abstinence, sure! 100% effective! but also in embarrassing detail about contraception and STDs. She talked about artists and philosophers taking psychedelics in the 1960s--who however often found that their paintings and writings made no sense when they sobered up. She smoked cigarettes with a special tar-reduction filter out behind the science lab, and she always admitted upfront that she was addicted and that it was going to kill her. An extraordinary woman.
And yeah, a lot of people did pot and psychedelics soon after taking her class (not Mormon me!), but as far as I know, very few were doing harder drugs, which should count for something, right?
I think the reason it usually takes Alamedia's threads a while to get hopping is that the general reaction is "damn, well, how could I ever hope to top that?"
I also shall get drunk, on duty-free gin. It's good to have a plan.
Another good plan is to get drunk on grappa on someone else's dime.
The problem with that plan, w-lfs-n, is that grappa tastes like ass-flavored jet fuel.
Also, doesn't the story of Santa Claus mean kids will never believe their parents again, even when it's important? What's up with that?
Metaphor, Matt. Metaphor. Children also know that their stuffed animals aren't really alive, but it's unwise, cruel even, to point that out to them when they're worried about one being lost, having hurt feelings, or whatever.
The things you learn when trying to put out jet fuel fires in your ass with your mouth...
Bphd, next thing you'll be telling me that children know that their rabbits and dogs didn't really get sent to a farm. But this is not so.
Grappa's good, just not good enough for how much it costs. So ben's plan is a good one, assuming the other person making free with the dimes is pleasant (enough) company.
Also, think what dsquared meant was that Bourdain's speedballs lacked a certain BAM!
Grappa's good
If by "good," you mean "ass-nasty," then I agree wholeheartedly.
12: No, sadly, they believe that one.
One of the more traumatic events of my childhood is that my dad took my cat's two remaining kittens "to a farm" on my birthday. My kindergarten teacher, to whom we'd given the third kitten, lost it and like a total dumbass, actually told me.
God. Now I'm going to have a good cry. Thanks a lot for bringing that all up again, Matt.
If by "good," you mean "ass-nasty,"
We're not talking about you, good apoostropher, we're talking about grappa.
Or maybe you were just drinking the cheap stuff.
I've really never met anyone who liked grappa.
I've really never met anyone who liked grappa.
That's because you hang out with such a lowrent crowd.
So kids believe the "went to a farm" stories but not the Santa Claus stories? I'm skeptical.
Yeah, well, I don't even really know what grappa is. So there.
Or maybe you were just drinking the cheap stuff.
Maybe, but it was in a very nice restaurant in Italy.
That's because you hang out with such a lowrent crowd.
Hey, wait a m--
Oh, yeah, you're right.
They *do* believe the Santa stories, for a few years. PK does. He got angry last year b/c some little girl at his school told him Santa wasn't real. But, as PK says, "she believes in God, and everyone knows God's not real. But Santa is."
The point is that, when they find out that Santa isn't, they are capable of understanding that it's a story, i.e., a metaphor. It's not like a *horrible* secret, the way killing children's pets on their birthday is.
I was down with the grappa, but I sure wouldn't have paid what it cost.
The point is that, when they find out that Santa isn't, they are capable of understanding that it's a story, i.e., a metaphor.
How do you know this if PK still believes in Santa?
Maybe, but it was in a very nice restaurant in Italy.
Maybe they save the ass-flavored jet fuel especially for the tourists.
Speaking of lowrent, I'm really worried that a bunch of LGM readers are going to come over here and lower the tone of the place.
re: 26
I admire the cunning use of italics, since everyone knows the under 10s can't read italic fonts ...
They *do* believe the Santa stories, for a few years.
It got tricky when I tried to explain that Santa was trapped in the woodstove, so that's when I had to just tell the truth.
I also don't know what grappa is.
Grape liquor.
After you press grapes for wine, all the residue (including stems and seeds) gets used to make grappa.
Pomace, baby! Some people make grappa from the whole grape, though.
I have tried the mythologized grappa, ouzo, and the famous Turkish rak?, and found all of them unpalatable.
Internal Server Error
You mean you puked?
What's wrong with you people? Ouzo and raki taste pretty much exactly like pastis, which is anise-flavored deliciousness in medium quantities on hot days. Grappa, especially when someone else pays for it, is also quite nice.
Now, thinking through spiffy liqueurs I know and like, I'm making myself thirsty for some Calvados, which I really can't afford.
My mother was sorely disappointed when I launched into an explanation of how the whole North Pole thing was simply not feasible, and I was five or six years old. I remember my justification involving a lot of talk about how hard it would be to get food there to feed the elves, or something; something about the economics of it. But, I did get that it was just a fun story. There was no trauma there.
Calvados isn't a liqueur. If you can find Laird's bonded apple brandy (not Laird's applejack, which is blended), it will stand you in good stead, for something like $20.
Maybe my thing is just a dislike of liqueurs generally. Though I like interesting cocktails.
I hate to admit that you're right, w-lfs-n, and thanks for the suggestion.
It's weird, Drymala, I've become more and more conservative about cocktails and will probably not venture forth from the slightly dirty vodka martini in only a few years. The "interesting" ones seem to be so damned sweet. The first time I had an apple martini--late in the trend, I'll admit--I nearly gagged. What do you recommend I try to reverse my stodgifying trend?
Go retro? All the phony martinis are incredibly sweet, but there are lots of out-of-fashion cocktails that taste good. I'm fond of Manhattans, and gimlets, and rusty nails, to name some.
A plum saketini was the most memorably yummy alcoholic drink I've ever had. The plum pit was floating in it. Mmmm. I think the club was Paisely; this was a few years ago though; I don't know if they still have them.
No such thing as a "vodka martini".
Someone I know once ordered a "chocolate martini". I killed his pets on his birthday.
I've been, possibly based on a recommendation here but I think based on reading some book or other set in the 30s, been drinking sidecars lately.
Yeah, I guess I don't mind the sweet when I'm experimenting. VYNL and Vintage (conveniently located across the street from one another!) have good cocktails. Vintage has the largest martini menu in the city. I like their baked apple martini, but it's on the sweet side, with some sour. I like a sweet/sour combo in a cocktail. After w-lfs-n posted about it, I had a sidecar at Blue Mill Tavern, and I enjoyed it, and I might order it again, though it's not really my kind of cocktail.
I like South American drinks -- piscos and mojitos (I guess that's Cuban). I dunno. If I'm in a restaurant with a particular regional cuisine, I like to stick with a drink from that region to enhance the experience, even with beer. Beyond that, I just pick what sounds good.
For me, stuff like whiskey is way too sweet. I can only drink whiskey in a whiskey sour.
I did just realize that I'd named three fairly sweet drinks -- the sweetness of whiskey doesn't offend me like the sweetness of an 'appletini', in that at least it's complex.
Someone I know once ordered a "chocolate martini". I killed his pets on his birthday.
I'm so glad I don't have pets.
48: It's my opinion that if you (or I, for that matter) were to go to a bartender and ask for a martini, and no qualifying information were subsequently exchanged, there would be at least a 40% of it being made with vodka.
49: been
There's at least one new-fangled martini I like.
Ginger martini? Back when I was a girl you would have ordered a Moscow Mule and liked it.
(You probably would have, they're delicious. Can't get them hardly anyplace though -- no one has ginger beer.)
Your average sour mix is way way sweet, though. (True story! A whisky sour was the first alcoholic drink I ever tasted. It's never really tasted good to me since.)
I've eyed the sidecar on some menus, but it looks awfully sweet. I think your advice to go retro is good, though, LB.
I've enjoyed some vodka gimlets when they were well made. Okay, I enjoyed way too many vodka gimlets at a very expensive place once when someone else was picking up the tab and have looked at them with some trepidation ever since.
ONE mojito is good.
The concept of a saketini is intriguing.
Okay, Bridgeplate, what is the proper name of vodka, a whiff of vermouth, and an olive?
I recommend the Old Fashioned if it's made correctly. Unfortunately, it's almost never made correctly. If the bartender says "a WHAT?" when you order, switch to something else.
And Standpipe gets it exactly right. Especially galling is when I order a martini and the sorry-excuse-for-a-barman behind the bar asks, "Any particular kind of vodka?" The proper response is something along the lines of, "I don't know. What do you think would go well with your liver and some fava beans?"
Vintage has the largest martini menu in the city.
"martini" s/b "candyass-drinks-that-come-in-martini-glasses-for-some-reason"
Okay, Bridgeplate, what is the proper name of vodka, a whiff of vermouth, and an olive?
Ass.
Someone tried to serve me a "Hudson martini" last night. I asked what was in it, and if I remember correctly the primary ingredients were rum and blood orange. I asked if the only thing that made it a martini was the glass it was in, and was met with a pretty blank stare.
And while we're on the subject, James Bond is an idiot. A shaken martini comes out all cloudy and watery-ass. It should be stirred quickly just to chill it, you don't want to melt a lot of the ice.
The only real reason to shake a cocktail is to make it frothy. And anyway you're not Tom Cruise. Lots of old classic cocktails contained an egg or eggwhite, and they froth very nicely when shaken. But there's nothing in a martini to froth.
vodka gimlets
Is there no end to your preversions?
Also, as Jackmormon notes, most bars err way too much on the side of sweetness when they make things such as Old Fashioneds, Sours, Collins, etc. The main reason for this is that instead of fresh fruit and/or fruit juice, they use bottled mixes which, in addition to being too sweet, often have a cooked taste and just plain aren't very good.
I like their baked apple martini, but it's on the sweet side, with some sour.
Sounds awesome, though I will happily concede that it is not a martini. As does whatever LB is talking about in 54. I've often longed for an alcoholic ginger beer drink.
Go here before trying to reason with me.
All a Moscow Mule is is ginger beer, lime juice, and vodka (hence, Moscow). I don't remember the proportions offhand, but it can't be terribly sensitive. I've read that they're supposed to be served in frosted copper cups, but I've never been in a bar that had such available.
Hm, I simply could not get into the site to reply to M/tch's calumny for a while. Wikipedia had an article (redirected from "vodka martini") explaining that, while the trend in the last twenty years has been towards mixing with vodka, sanctimonious purists hold that there is no martini but gin martini. I lost the url during the "waiting for Unfogged...." business, though. Anyway, I really don't much care for gin.
Is there no end to your preversions?
We could find out together, Standpipe...
60: (search for "Bond" on the page).
Let's try that again.
60:Thanks, President Bartlet (search for "Bond" on the linked page).
Part of the downside of calling all these things "martinis", besides the fact that it's just wrong, is that little or no thought goes into the names. Adding a "baked" before "apple" is about as imaginative as it gets.
And as some old commenter once said, cocktails invented after about 1950 or so are to be regarded with deep suspicion. People back than drank a lot more than we do, and they knew what they were doing.
I tried to brew my own ginger beer once, following a highly recommended internet recipe. Maybe there was a step I missed, but I could taste the yeast fermentation in the final product and it was gnasty. Other people I served it to liked it, though, despite all my caveats; they even accepted liter-bottles of the stuff to take home!
There's a Carribean place on 14th, about a block east of Union Square, that has wonderful homemade ginger ale (a little too sweet for me). It's not even slightly alcoholic, though, so maybe they were smarter than to use yeast.
Anyway, I really don't much care for gin.
Then you have no business ordering a martini, madam.
67,68: Well I'll be. I never watched that show much, but the few times I did I thought it was pretty well written, almost annoyingly so. Anyway, now I want to go drinking with Jed Bartlett. I'm sure he'd pay for everything too, that's just the kind of classy john guy he is.
You brew ginger beer with yeast? I thought it was basically extra-spicy ginger ale.
The first line of 71 should be in italics, as it's a quote from Jackmormon.
Also, I think the frosted metal cups thing for some drinks (I'm thinking particularly of mint juleps) is pretty whack. I don't know what all those people drinking so much back then when the tradition was established were thinking, but it's an indication that we can safely ignore their tastes and opinions.
M/tch, until about 1930, they were serving gin with laudanum, or maybe amphetamines, or maybe a little strychnine just for kicks. Maybe your window should narrow in a bit.
And what the hell should I call a dry, somewhat dirty vodka (non) martini, so as not to offend the purists?
Colder, isn't it? The metal has a higher thermal capacity than glass, so a drink in a chilled metal cup will stay colder, longer, than one served in a glass. (The 'copper for a MM, silver for a mint julep' thing is just silliness, but the metal thing makes sense.)
72 is pretty redundant, except for the last link, but I think what you were brewing and what I like to drink from bottles are basically different drinks. Although if the alcoholic ginger beer came out like what I like, but alcoholic, I would drink it all day.
74: A travesty.
75: Yep, colder, but if your drink gets hot, it means you're drinking too slow. Also, metal sweats more than glass, and I don't like the taste/feel of the metal.
And gin and laudanum is a fine beverage. Just don't go ordering it with vodka.
I told my preschool kids that there is no Santa Claus a couple of years ago.
We could find out together, Standpipe...
My interest is purely scientific, you understand. I'm so very fond of science.
With a martini the classic gin plus touch of vermouth kind is the best, by far, for me. Although I did have one which had pisang ambon and lychee in it which was tolerable -- not overly sweet, just more perfumed than a normal one.
Re: 50 and whiskey being sweet: someone is drinking the wrong whisky. One of those American bourbon type thingies maybe or maybe one of the milder malts. Proper scotch, maybe something like Laphroaig or Lagavulin, isn't sweet, surely? Kind of wierd tasting for some palates, yes, but not sweet.
Re: Moscow mules... the Jamaican mule is pretty good. With rum substituted for the vodka. A mix of dark and light rum or maybe one of the spiced rums can be very nice. Just lime juice, good sharp/tangy ginger beer and the rum.
A friend of mine 'invented' his millenium cocktail a few years back -- which was tequila, gin and absinthe, if I recall. Not good. Although very effective...
Czechs drink a thing called a 'beton' which is made from Becherovka and tonic. That's a pretty nice long drink -- similar to a gin and tonic but with a more pronounced herbal taste.
Bottled mixes save time, but suck because they're all corn syrupy. Plus, it's fun to put fruit in a blender.
'Saketinis' are, ime, awesome. Hello and Goodbye, Mr. Braincell. Whee!
Absinthe is delicious on its own--no need to mix, except with water and, to taste, sugar.
M/tch, am I to conclude that you are simply anti-vodka?
A friend and I once invented a drink called a Copacetic. I'm told we drank an imperial shitload of them and kept insisting how f&#king good they were.
Noone, especially not my friend or me, remembers exactly what was in them, but the best evidence points to it being basically a gin and tonic with lemon squeeze and a few drops of dry vermouth. Kind of a martini cocktail or a martini/g&t mashup.
Just thinking about that next morning makes my head hurt something frightful, but I've been assured that I was definitely copacetic the night before.
Weiner, that first link gives me some hope. I was dubious about the yeast-based recipe from the beginning, and that one sounds much more plausibly delicious.
M/tch, am I to conclude that you are simply anti-vodka?
That's just the kind of irrational accusation a vodka drinker would make!
When I drink liquor, it's almost always gin and tonic, though I'll drink margaritas with a crowd when pitchers are ordered. I've pretty much settled on wine as my preferred poison.
I used to drink lots (and lots and lots) of bourbon when I was young, but I seem to have lost my taste for dark liquors. And nothing red - I have very bad associations with grenadine that now extend to any drink with that color in it.
You know, I'd be much less prejudiced against vodka if it weren't just so goldarned tacky.
So you're a white wine drunk, apo???
In the summer, I drink white wine (I'm drinking an excellent French picpoul right now). When it gets back down below 80, it's mostly reds.
Look, I'll drink gin-n-t's, if that's what on offer, but really: vodka as tacky?
I demand arbitration by the greater Unfoggedariat.
I think you're being trolled, JM.
Ah, I see your point, M/tch. No red liquor drinks.
(Like apostropher, I generally drink wine.)
I guess it's just that any food or drink where the entire goal of producing it is to remove as much flavor as possible is pretty suspect to me.
But I do make time for some vodka drinks. White russians are pretty tasty, although a bit cloying and heavy. And in the right company, e.g. Russians, Poles, gay men, drinking vodka doesn't get my dander up.
Hmm, how to put this. "Vodka martinis" are the cocktail equivalent of "soy chorizo"?
I've never thought of adding vodka to ginger beer. What a wonderful idea!
I've found I get less hungover with vodka than gin (or other hard liquors); fewer impurities.
Which doesn't mean I don't like the flavor of various single malts. But them's more for sipping. Looked at another way, vodka is therefore more dangerous.
I've never thought of adding vodka to ginger beer. What a wonderful idea!
You see? Aside from some cupware issues, them old folks knew what they were doing!
When the vodka you're drinking came from a street vendor in Moscow and you've had to turn the bottle over to look at the pattern of the glue on the backside of the label to assure yourself it was made in a factory and not in a bathtub, and it's cold - not because of refrigeration, but because it's the same temperature as everything else in Moscow in January? Damn, that is some good vodka, and tacky can bite my gay ass.
Also, Manhattans: The Diesel Fuel You'll Learn to Love. So. Good. Mmmmmm. I want one right now. But I generally only drink wine because liquor makes a man mean.
I generally only drink wine
Enormous fricking cups of wine, as I saw on Monday.
I generally drink Zeigen Bock. Have I mentioned that you can't buy alcohol to take home within Lubbock city limits?
Enormous fricking cups of wine, as I saw on Monday.
I figured a big-ass plastic cup would be better than simply chugging it from the bottle. Then my cup ran out and I realized I was so wrong.
Also, Manhattans: The Diesel Fuel You'll Learn to Love.
A proper Manhattan is delicious. Rob Roys too. I can see the Love part, but what's all this about Diesel Fuel?
Damn, that is some good vodka, and tacky can bite my gay ass.
Like I said, in the proper context (Russians and gay men, a twofer!), vodka is fine. And dandy. But as Farber's comment points out, most vodka drinking is done by folks who want to get drunk but don't want to pay their dues. Such people should stick to Chocolate Choos Choos.
As an aside, a friend of mine who spent years in Russia (mostly Moscow) told me that if you see a guy standing on the side of the road making a horizontal "two" with his fingers against his body at all passerby, it means he's looking for someone to go halfsys with him on a bottle of vodka. Also that the type of vodka he's looking to buy comes with a flip-top, i.e. non-resealable.
97 -- the recommended (by TMK) alcoholic additive to ginger beer, is Myers or a similarly sweet, dark rum.
(I believe that drink has a name, possibly "dead mule".)
When I was 20 I mostly drank rum and cokes and Fuzzy Navels and screwdrivers. At my 21st birthday, a friend made a drink and named it after me: three kinds of fruit juice and three kinds of liquor, described at the time as "sweet and fruity, but it'll kick you when you're down." When I first had a Manhattan, a couple of years later (now 10 years ago or so), it tasted wretched in comparison. Underneath the shock of the drink not being drowned in citric acid or corn syrup, however, I recognized something wonderful and my tastes began to expand.
I'm afraid I'm unfamiliar with that particular sign language - the twosies thing - but it doesn't surprise me. Here's a related tip: never drink vodka from a can. Do. Not. Go. There.
I was once involved in the creation of the drink known as ,for the few days it existed, the "Bushy Visor." The name was from what someone had misheard the phrase "Bush adviser" as a few days previously. The drink was about as good as you'd expect a drink invented by 17 and 18 year olds to be. I believe it was made of rum, vodka, coke, and grenadine, mixed in a Nalgene bottle and served over ice.
Ah, Manhattans. Delicious when made well, deeply sad when made poorly. My default drink is a gin and tonic, partly because they're delicious, and partly because I enjoy being in the minority as a gin-lover.
Ah. I see one of the Matts got there before I. Though I think calling it a "Jamaican Mule" is a bit redundant. The name I was looking for was "Blind mule", not dead.
Following our trainwreck freshmen years, my co-blogger Froz Gobo and I took a year off school, got an apartment, and discovered that cherry Kool-Aid will obliterate the taste of tequila even when mixed 1:1. When we moved out, the carpet was pretty much one enormous red stain.
A friend deeply under the influence of Dostoevsky invented a drink called the Crystal Palace: equal parts Crystal Palace gin and Crystal Palace vodka, garnished with a cabbage leaf and served warm. It didn't catch on.
Some years later, me and my then-current housemates held a party at which we debuted a drink we called the Liza Minelli. We had the taste not to call it a martin even though it consisted of vodka, vermouth, and a green olive served in a martini glass . . . with the olive stuffed with a sleeping pill. It was a short party.
According to this highly entertaining--and informative!--article on malt liquor, economists really know how to maximize utility when it comes to booze. I figured they were good for something.
economists really know how to maximize utility when it comes to booze
Dsquared also has a nice article about whiskey yield curves lurking somewhere in his archives.
It is only appropriate that drunkenness is being discussed in another thread.
Y'all are just wrong. A dirty vodka martini is a perfectly fine drink.
But if you want a non-sweet, summer drink, try Campari and soda, or Campari and tonic. Assuming you don't like the g&t, or the Pimm's cup.
Assuming you don't like the g&t, or the Pimm's cup.
In which case, it bears mentioning, you're a communist.
I'm pretty close, but I still like G&Ts. Never had a Pimms Cup.
There's also that nice German sour beer thing where you add raspberry syrup. Not the woodruff, b/c that tastes like cough syrup. And no, even with a bit of raspberry syrup, it really isn't all that sweet. V. refreshing. Yum.
Are you talking about lambic ale? It is Belgian, not German, and it tastes much better without any fruity flavorings.
No, lambic ale is fabulous and if you added syrup to it you would deserve to be slapped really hard. It's some kind of sour wheat beer, and it's German.
Vodka martinis, done well, are the perfect pre-dinner cocktail. Anyone who says otherwise has pretentions to a sophistication unearned through their years and a palate ruined for subtlety.
Bourbon, while it can be sweet, need not be any sweeter than a good cognac. And, as pointed out upthread, single malts, especially Islays, aren't sweet at all.
In college, a favorite drink was the L/empi M/iller Hot Pepper Smegma, which was greyhound with a teaspoon+ of Tabasco.
I also once invented a drink consisting of tequila and strawberry yo-j, which really tasted no different from a margarita, only slimy. I have no idea why it didn't catch on.
How could it taste no different from a margarita, which contains no strawberries or strawberry flavoring?
It's not even slightly alcoholic, though, so maybe they were smarter than to use yeast.
If you brew your ginger beer with yeast, it will be slightly, but only very slightly, alcoholic. Plus, if you don't use yeast, how are you going to do it?
A note on sidecars: properly made, and if you omit, as I do, the sugar rim, they won't be too sweet. Possible factors that might increase sweetness: using an ass triple sec; using a mix instead of fresh lemon juice. Take a look at the proofs of various triple secs the next time you're in a liquor store; Cointreau (the original and the best!) is 80; the DeKuyper/Hiram Walker/Bols things are something like 40 or 38, and much sweeter.
97 -- the recommended (by TMK) alcoholic additive to ginger beer, is Myers or a similarly sweet, dark rum.
This is known as a Dark and Stormy.
125: sorry, "strawberry margarita." And yes, I know, and no, we don't need a second fucking debate. You know what I mean.
No, lambic ale is fabulous and if you added syrup to it you would deserve to be slapped really hard.
OTOH there are some lambics that are intensely sour and to which a sweetener is often added.
Gimlets are good. They are also extremely powerful. The first time that I got *really* drunk I was drinking gimlets.
Washerdreyer, sidecars sound really good.
Drymala, mojitos are good.
There's a pretty cool website devoted to drink recipes called Drink of the Week.
Apropos of nothing, I accidentally hit enter, after typing the f in unfogged and landed at unf.com where I learned that Colonel Sanders is wrong.
I know I ordered a drink called a Dark and Stormy once, but I thought it was cognac and something. It was good, whatever it was.
126: Just to be clear, by "fresh lemon juice" I mean, and assume Ben means: Take a lemon, cut it into something on the order of eighths, and squeeze one eighth in per whatever ratios you use of brandy (or armagnac, or whatever). I prefer 2.5 brandy to one triple sec.
It is indeed Berliner Weiss, and I did not know about the sour lambics. Live and learn.
126: Just to be clear, by "fresh lemon juice" I mean, and assume Ben means: Take a lemon, cut it into something on the order of eighths, and squeeze one eighth in per whatever ratios you use of brandy (or armagnac, or whatever).
What? No. The ratios are ratios of volume, and an eighth of one lemon doesn't necessarily have the amount of juice as an eighth of another. When I say, eg, 2:1:1 something, other, lemon juice, I mean something like 1.5 oz something, .75 oz other, .75 oz lemon juice. You have to use the same units throughout, people!
This is just an absurd criticism, the directions I gave would, in most situations, lead to a perfectly good sidecar. Must I have said that I was referring to a lemon of average size and juice producing capacity in order to avoid confusion? No, because I trust my fellow commenters intelligence. Also, I said "on the order of".
Does anyone know how to remove a red wine stain?
At the risk of sounding like an infomercial, Oxiclean. If you doj't have any around, flooding it with club soda, or water if that's all you have, will help, but Oxiclean takes it right out.
If I put soap and water on it now, will Oxiclean get it out later? The stain's already a few hours old.
I did not know about the sour lambics.
All lambics are sour. They're spontaneously fermented (i.e. left in an open vat to acquire fermenting organisms from the air), and so there are a lot of organisms working on the wort, including ones that produce acetic acid. There are a number of (crappy) lambics that add a sweetened fruit syrup at the end and so end up pretty sweet.
The really good fruit lambics (which is not to disparage the non-fruit lambics, which are delicious too) just add crushed fruit (e.g. wild cherries) at a certain point to the fermented lambic and let the yeast and other organisms on the fruit, plus the sugars provided by fruit, produce a secondary fermentation. The end result is quite dry, but with an intense flavor of the fruit to go along with the complex sourness. There was a pretty decent article in the NYTimes not too long ago about some of the lambics available in the states, but there's a patchwork of labelling laws in the various states that keep a lot of the most unique beers and other alcohol products out. I'm considering starting a Belgian Liberation Front in Texas to change the relevant laws (although it's not very high on my priority list, certainly below food security, farm policy, and the War Against Vodka)
And speaking of Belgian beers, I know Canada, particularly Quebec, has some good local versions of Belgian styles, and probably has a good selection of Belgian imports available. If you can get your hands on any of the Cantillon brews, I highly recommend them.
If the stain is fresh (i.e. still wet) the best solution is to pour salt on it. The salt will absorb the wine. After the wine dries though, I don't know.
I wish I had known that salt thing in the restaurant.
Yeah, tomorrow's fine, even without the soap and water.
Wow, that Oxiclean stuff must be great. Thanks for the advice, LB and M/tch.
The salt thing is mainly a carpet trick (damned servants!). Refined people such as I never spill wine on our clothes.
And you know, I can't help thinking that if you alameida really loved us, she'd comment on this thread.
Boy, I just googled tonight's Nerve date (went pretty well, cute, college prof, athletic, seemed like a nice guy, hug goodnight and he made some kind of kissy sound--I'm not sure where his lips were when he made it), and I saw he wrote a report for a certain non profit for a campaign they ran that was started by a guy I knew for a long time then briefly dated, then tried to be friends with and succeeded for maybe a year, but who then weirdly and snobbily stopped talking to me, so that means my Nerve date almost certainly knows this guy I dated and knew for a long time before that. Freaky. I like my Nerve dates to be totally isolated from my normal sphere of acquaintance.
I'm fond of Manhattans
Manhattans made with bourbon: good. Manhattans made with rye: better.
So a college professor spilled wine on you?
Yeah. He kept jiggling the table, and droplets splashed onto my special first date skirt, which already has small bloodstains on it from a time I tried to hurriedly shave my legs before a date. The table jiggling was annoying, but he seemed to have other good qualities.
Maybe he's good with the laundry?
Speaking of red wine, folks in Chile (especially rural Chile) mix red wine and Coca-Cola™, for a drink called "Jote" (sp? -- pronunciation = HO-tay).
And yes on Gin & Tonic. I've slowly lured myself into Gin by insisting at first on Bombay Sapphire, then accepting Tanqueray. Now I'm down to Seagram's, as much more cost-effective substitution. It's the opposite of Gin snobbery!
While Tanqueray Ten is a great great thing, once you mix any gin with tonic, you really can't tell much difference other than rotgut vs. non-rotgut. So I agree with Stanley (Fish?) regarding cost-effective substitutions. One shouldn't ask for single malts in one's whiskey sour either.
You know M/lls, Tanq Ten is one of those gins that dials down the botanicals for the vodka crowd.
You know M/lls, Tanq Ten is one of those gins that dials down the botanicals for the vodka crowd.
Sez you.
That means a lot coming from you, w-lfs-n.
Vodka martinis, done well, are the perfect pre-dinner cocktail. Anyone who says otherwise has pretentions to a sophistication unearned through their years and a palate ruined for subtlety.
But see, Chopper, you've previously admitted that they're basically supposed to taste like water. After this "perfect pre-dinner cocktail", do you aim for the dinner to taste like nothing? Are you a partisan of Coors Light as well?
For wine stains on carpets or on clothes the trick is to get it out immediately on spilling which is done thus:
Take a clean and dry cloth, napkin or tea-towel - fold a couple of times place over the spill and press down hard. This'll seem like it's going to make it worse, but really it won't.
DO NOT rub, don't move it all, just press down with as much weight as you can -- if it's a carpet place the clean cloth over the spill and stand on it if need be.. Lift.
Usually you'll find the wine will have been completely 'sucked' up into the tea towel or napkin.
As long as the cloth is dry and is pressed straight down, hard, it works. The minute you rub, it's over -- the stuff is then ground in and spread.
Even on red wine which has been spilled on a completely white carpet -- if done quickly enough you'd never know it'd been spilled.
This has been a domestic announcement,
i am egregiously late to this thread.
but grappa is indeed ass. its main use is, if you have a gaggle of ancient crippled looking old italian men laughing at you when you ordered at cafe corretto at age 19, to specify that you want your coffee mixed with grappa. they will get all seriously suddenly. and several will nod at you. because everyone knows that stuff is damn hard to stomach.
on the other hand limoncello is really delicious if you are in italy. i plan to start making it myself when back in boston later on. (three cheers for moonshine).
I'm not sure that I've tasted ass, but if it tastes like grappa I'll steer clear of it. Marc is the same thing isn't it? It also tends to be very nasty.
Never had a Pimms Cup.
This wants rectification. Go find you a bottle on a hot rainy summer afternoon. Get some bitter lemon. Combine in pleasing proportions. Garnish as desired; lime, or English cucumber if you really must.
the Jamaican mule is pretty good. With rum substituted for the vodka
That would be a "Dark & Stormy" everywhere except Cotton's on Chalk Farm Road.
Grappa is really quite pricey for what it is, but aguardiente is the same stuff and usually cheaper.
Does the Dark and Stormy have lime juice in it to?
Pimm's cup is tasty but really weird and hard to get drunk on. rum and ginger beer is delicious. also, sidecars, manhattans, gimlets, both gin and vodka martinis even though gin is much better, all tasty. real deal fruit lambics, yum. grappa...well, it's pricey for being so paint-thinner-y, but it's ok. wait, are there drinks I don't like? scotch. I don't like scotch. it tastes like peaty ass. or appletinis or chocolate martinis or bailey's irish cream. I got very drunk on white russians one time when I also kinda OD'd on methadone, so now I really can't deal with them. that scene in the big lebowski where he makes a white russian with powdered creamer...oog. my stomach is weaving around just thinking about it. hm. calvados is actually delicious but I was very disappointed with it as a young person because I thought it would taste like apples and it tasted a lot more like BOOZE than I was expecting. but 12-year-old girls all have shitty taste in likker anyway, though I never liked wine coolers so there's some room for pride there. mixing cheap red wine with coke over ice is actually fine. no, really. sometimes I use diet coke but it seems a bit trailer-trash alcoholic, so don't tell anyone. I want them to think I'm a suave, debonair, social-register type alcoholic. also, I love you guys.
Pimm's cup is tasty but really weird and hard to get drunk on
I have a suspicion this depends on what country you get it in. Some have stricter labeling / regulatory laws. I recall, in one country that was reasonably strict, looking at the usually mysterious label and finding that the principal ingredient is gin. So, it shouldn't be harder to get drunk on than gin. Depending how you mix it.
I don't like scotch. it tastes like peaty ass.
Surely this depends on which scotch.
I want them to think I'm a suave, debonair, social-register type alcoholic.
I'll think that, if you like.
mixing cheap red wine with coke over ice is actually fine. no, really. sometimes I use diet coke but it seems a bit trailer-trash alcoholic, so don't tell anyone.
Oh yeah. Used to do that with Vintner's Choice red "wine". Another, even cheaper, brand, too, that was utterly undrinkable unless mixed, though I can't recall the name.
The closest equivalent to cheap red wine + cola that I've found is Australian sparkling shiraz. Especially the cheap brands, like Lorikeet. The power of red wine meets the mindfuck of bubbles! All for about $7/bottle. Tastes like carbonated grape juice (which it is, but I mean it tastes more raw grapey and unfermented) and will mess with your head. But in a good way.
I like my Nerve dates to be totally isolated from my normal sphere of acquaintance.
This is one of the major plusses about online dating. That way, when you break up with them and/or find out they have a tiny
penis, you never have to see them again.
Also, I like gin. A lot. I want to like scotch, and I'm trying, but I find, like alameida, that at the current juncture, it tastes like peaty ass.
I went for some higher-end stuff one time to try to escape the assness, but it just tasted more peaty and more assy, not less.
If only there were a way to combine gin, campari, and vermouth.
Australian sparkling shiraz
I wish I could have some now! Though I would probably spend a bit more (like $15-20). Dsquared will probably show up now and tell us we're not allowed to like it.
I just bought a bottle of something called Kasegaran (Health!) which cost about $2 and I have no idea what it is made from, but it is what people here drink when they don't like cap tikus (paint stripper distilled from palm wine). It looks kind of red. When I'm brave enough I'll drink it and give a report.
Get some bitter lemon See, that's a problem for Americans. Alas. We are forced to drink Pimms & soda instead.
and/or find out they have a tiny penis, you never have to see them again. Silvana, you just traumatized half the unfoggedtariat. Not, I hasten to add, that anyone here really does have a tiny penis, but that a surprising number of men worry that they do.
Scotch, for the record, does not taste like ass. At all. It's lovely stuff.
And just in case it doesn't go without saying: if you're drinking fancy single malt scotch, don't put anything in it. No water and no ice. It will taste so much better. People who, strangely, imagine they dislike scotch often dilute it, which is what makes it taste nasty.
But Irish whiskey tastes like insecticide.
If you're not fond of Scotch, there's always good Irish -- Black Bush is very nice, and the Bushmill's single malt is wonderful.
I had a bottle of the 1608 at Christmas the year before last, and my whole family sipping it and making little cooing noises about how good it was. A guest looked at us, said "Huh, I've never had Irish," and reached for the bottle to pour some in his coffee. My father slapped his hand away and handed him the Jameson's.
Scotch, for the record, does not taste like ass
Have you ever tasted a Scotsman's ass? Maybe it's a regional flavor.
I wish I could have some now!
It's a bit early for me, but why not?
Though I would probably spend a bit more (like $15-20).
But then it wouldn't taste so much like cheap red wine mixed with cola, and what fun would that be? Seriously, I've had some of the higher end stuff, and it is better. Lorikeet gets the job done, though.
LB's father is a man of sound principles
You know, I'm having another one of my online dating conundrums. I'm never sure how much to read into someone sounding kind of lame and pretentious, but not stupid, on their profile. On the one hand, maybe they just didn't know how to approach the medium or something. On the other, wouldn't anyone I really want to date have a sense of how to come off well in writing and generally be funnier?
177: Funny is important. My bf had one bad moment in his online profiile, that I admit would have put me off if I'd been going on that alone. But on balance, the thing was hilarious (pretentious in an obvious mocking-the-medium sort of way). Isn't there some way to ask this person directly about whatever-it-is that's bugging you? I've found that that's the great advantage of the online thing--not worrying about tact overmuch initially.
But then I'm a bad person.
It's true I've never had Bushmills single malt. there might be an exception.
It's too many things that are contributing to the lameness. I can't really ask him, "Why do you come off so stupidly in so much of your profile?"
Here is a sample:
"I travel with the alacrity of a Byron protagonist. I am gentlemanly to a fault. Be warned: thunder makes me randy as a stoat."
Ah. It's the "trying too hard, and failing" thing. Yeah, don't date him.
That must be purposefully over the top.
I am gentlemanly to a fault.
He holds doors for subduction zones?
I might email back and forth a bit anyway -- while that's lame, I think online personals are hard enough that it's worth checking for how bad he is under more spontaneous conditions.
Here is a sample:
Jesus H. Christ. Turn and run.
I think it is purposefully over the top, but it just doesn't come off well, at least to me. I can't decide if I should give him a chance despite it.
Here is the entire objectionable passage:
I despise travel. I provoke a gag reflex in buzzards. I laugh seldom and only at the misfortunes of cripples. Beer is my beautiful and terrible god. No, wait, beer and NASCAR. You could grate cheese on my abs. Dude, two words: "Denver freakin' Broncos!" I punch kittens...
No, no, I can't do it. Damn. I'm trying hard to be a cretin, but I'm just not. Only one of the above statements is even remotely true. So if you seek a soulless philistine, I am destined to disappoint.
I can take tea at the Don's residence with the best of them, but would just as soon sneak out the drawing room window to meet you behind the stables and scramble hand in hand up Mt. Snowdon for a glimpse of moonrise and some purloined claret.
I cook exquisite breakfasts. I build things. I am very, very good with my hands. I will read aloud to you in a spectrum of accents (and if you're very nice, I might sing for you). I travel with the alacrity of a Byron protagonist. I am gentlemanly to a fault. Be warned: thunder makes me randy as a stoat.
A former student described me as "The Last Renaissance Man." Yeah, that sums it up nicely.
More About What I Am Looking For
Just now you are standing barefoot on a grassy hillock with a basket of fresh berries overlooking the sea. And now you are debating with me the likelihood of life elsewhere in the universe. And now you are throwing me down to make me stop thinking so damn much. And now the campfire has died high in Inyo/Geirangerfjord/Annapurna, but we are snugly, warmly in our tent. (My parents owned sleeping bags that zipped together into one enormous sack-o'-love. I think that's the coolest thing ever. Except, now that I think about it, for the image of my parents ... eww.)
If you look like Natalie Wood, then I can stop working on this damn time machine and emergency floatation device. (The test-monkeys will be so relieved.) If not, that's okay too.
The Natalie Wood thing is kind of weird, too. I think it's unwise to ever talk about famous conventionally beautiful person you wish you could have in a Nerve profile, and it only makes it worse if they're dead.
180: that's pretty grisly. I vote no. No stoats.
Are profiles normally that long and wordy?
Eh. Let me downgrade that to 'if you can't find anyone else on Nerve who's remotely interesting, maybe email to see if he's better off the cuff than when he's clearly trying much too hard.' But yeah, very uninspiring.
Mmmm...I love Dark and Stormys. It's one of my friend's signature drinks. I have fond memories of getting so drunk off of them on her roof in Brooklyn at her Fourth of July party a couple of years ago that I almost fell off. Good times.
Tia, does he look like a god? because otherwise, why? why?
188 -- does yours compare your sexual prowess to that of a weasel?
I dunno, the Natalie Wood thing is the one appealing part (then again, I'm a freak). But "The Last Renaissance Man"? Dude, really. You'd better be richer than shit to make up for that.
I mean, he clearly put lots of thought into that passage and still came up with it. Imagine how tedious he must be in person.
Okay, he's rejected. New question!
So I emailed the guy from last night through the site to say I had a good time last night, thank you again, and to give him my real life email address. He wrote back very quickly through the site and said, "It was fun to meet up-- enjoy your reunion." (I'm off to my college reunion this weekend.) I can't tell whether that's a bad sign. He didn't say anything like, "Let's do it again sometime" or give me his real life email address. (I already have his phone number, and he already has mine.)
the first 2 paragraphs, starting with "I despise travel," make him sound problematically snobby. it's fine to like the things you like, but it's not so cool to compare yourself positively (even in an ironic manner like this) to other people who don't have your tastes.
also, stoats. ew.
I cook exquisite breakfasts.
In his profile? Not even wrong. Next candidate...
oops. jinx. timing.
i think you have to wait and see if he calls back, or at most get in touch once and only once more, after your reunion, to test the waters.
okay, that's enough of me as giver of romantic advice! good luck!
I wouldn't worry about it -- giving someone your phone number is a bigger deal than giving them your e-mail.
I wasn't planning on contacting him again, just trying to read the tea leaves. And the phone number exchange happened before we met.
194: Doesn't sound terribly promising, but also doesn't sound like enough information to tell much. If you liked him, call or email and ask him out again. He'll say yes or no, and then you'll know.
definitely chiming in on the hell no to sex with Byronic stoats in their parents' sleeping bags. the other guy, well, he emailed you right back maybe he had a few windows open and it was just easier to do it the site way? well, but no "here's my email?" but then, you can contact him like you just did. I'm going forward on the "Tia is so hot and funny he's just tripping out" theory. works every time (as long as you didn't let it slip that you hate black people.)
I know you're moving on, but it must be said: an American (assuming he is one) who calls Bordeaux "claret" cannot be any good. Nor can anyone who thinks that another person might enjoy listening to someone else speak in a variety of accents, or believes that an intelligent, adult, non-boring conversation would involve debating the likelihood of life elsewhere in the universe.
201 hits the nail on the head. And if he says no, it's his loss, and thus nothing for you to worry about.
If you're planning to scramble up "Mount Snowdon" (? we called it fucking "Snowdon" when I was growing up, and since we lived there, I am right), hand in hand, be aware that you've got a fucking long and uncomfortable scramble ahead of you and that when you get up there, four days out of five, you're not going to be able to see the "moonrise" because the top is covered in cloud. Then you're gonna have to trudge down, feeling stupid, in the dark. And probably go over a ridge and kill yourself like at least one boy scout troop a year seems to do.
In related news ...
Dsquared will probably show up now and tell us we're not allowed to like it.
You have my official permission to like sparkling Australian shiraz; the fact that you're a fucking pleb is clearly none of my business.
Irish whiskey. Oh yeah. My arse. It's whiskey for people who would rather be drinking vodka. Triple or quadruple distilled to remove any of that nasty "whisky" taste. Single malt Irish whiskey is actually laughable, given the prices they charge for it.
Malts are in general overpriced. They're all right from time to time but they're only really any use for after a meal when you're dining with people who you suspect will look down on you for drinking brandy. If you just want a Scotch, a good slug of Chivas is yer only man. (actually Ballantine's is probably the best blended whisky at 8, 10 and 12 year price points, but it is almost all exported so unless you travel outside the UK stick to Chivas).
J&B make a Scotch whisky for people who don't like Scotch and it is a perfectly nice drink; certainly much better than that Irish stuff for the money.
I dunno, man, I guess give it the wait and see. About a month ago I went out with someone that I quite liked, who I emailed to say I had a nice time and got a similarly brief response, so I was like "damnit! He's not into me!" but then I got a call like five days later. So.
In other dating conundrums, is it really true that you're not expected to be exclusive until you have the talk? That's what my friends keep telling me, but it just seems deceptive...
(also note that if you're meeting this guy at "the Don's residence", be aware that even if you consider the faculty of University College North Wales to be "dons" which many would not as it is mainly an agricultural and marine biology school these days, their residences will be about forty miles from the foot of Snowdon and the roads are not very good, so you have quite a drive ahead of you before you start your ill-thought-out scramble).
Did he work a Mt. Snowden reference into his Nerve personal?! Hells no.
I really like LB's advice in 201. Ask him out, see what he says, and then you'll know! It sounds so easy when she writes it.
There was a whole thread about that here, silvana. In my world, yes. There is nothing keeping you from talking about it early on though.
It makes me very happy to know that Snowdon is death on Boy Scouts. That's just right, somehow.
Hrmphf. Dsquared clearly does not respect my authority. In any case, Irish isn't for people who like vodka, it's for people who like whiskey and aren't crazy about the taste of peat smoke. If I want smoke, I'll suck on a charcoal briquette.
"It was fun to meet up-- enjoy your reunion." I think that means he's not interested, personally. But maybe he's just being casual or rushed. "Fun to meet up" is what I'd say, though, if I didn't want to think of the thing as a "date."
I'm going to give him a chance to ask me out, at least. I think I should let a few days pass. Maybe ask him on Wednesday if he's free on Friday, if I haven't heard.
ahhhhh I was overcome with thirst (and I'm at home with the kids today) so I poured myself a Ballantines 12yr. God I am right. Irish whiskey? Pfaufh!
(they make whisky in Wales these days; I had a shot of it at Kettner's in Soho. It was really very bad indeed).
The thing that confuses me is that he initiated a pretty physical hug, which is about the most you can go for on a subway platform, last night. I may have responded awkwardly though. But that's why I sent a note, to make up for responding awkwardly.
my mom's [first] name is sno/w/den. because she's that badass. and talk about hell on boy scouts!
It's necessary to understand that D^2 was educated in the appreciation of wine and spirits by Lord Peter Wimsey.
As long as we are cataloging the faults of Mr. Stoat, "...but we are snugly, warmly in our tent" is pretty damn objectionable too.
Dsquared, I was looking around the other day for your essay on malt whiskey yield curves but could not find it. Could you give me a pointer?
As long as he's not making that claim in an online dating profile, I suppose there's nothing wrong with that.
#218: I more or less have been, this week at least. For one reason or another I have been dining in the gentlemens clubs (and the clubs for gentlemen who aren't gentlemen[1]) of Old London town. I can confirm that the only ones with decent cocktails are Black's, the Carlton and Milk & Honey. The Groucho is not bad but Soho House is very overrated.
[1] This is not a euphemism for strip joints
#219: Never written a word about malt whiskey. Don't really know what the hell malt whiskey might be.
I wrote something about malt whisky once:
http://crookedtimber.org/2003/12/04/the-malt-whisky-yield-curve
is that what you are looking for?
I am currently in the market for a big hat with the c-word written on it, by the way, if you spot one on Ebay.
Dsquared's puncturing of Nerve boy's Britophilic pretentiousness is cracking my shit up.
It's also reminding me of an absolutely excruciating visit by an ex who I couldn't figure out how to get rid of when I was studying in England. He was affecting a Monty Python accent for god's sake. It's possible I've never been so mortified in my life.
Nice guy: It could be that, since he knows you'll be busy for the next couple of days, he's not doing anything right now. In any case, what everyone else said. (On preview: That is, I approve of 214.)
Stoat: TOOL TOOL TOOL TOOLIO. if you seek a soulless philistine, I am destined to disappoint. Don't sell yourself short, my man.
222: #219: Never written a word about malt whiskey. Don't really know what the hell malt whiskey might be.
Oh, really?
205:Single malt Irish whiskey is actually laughable
(Thanks, yes. That's what I was looking for.)
I'd much rather date the guy who only laughs at the misfortunes of cripples. We could at least have an argument about why the Broncos are evil.
and some purloined claret
an American (assuming he is one) who calls Bordeaux "claret" cannot be any good
No, no, that's all wrong. More likely, he's trying to purloin your claret, because he's a vampire. This also explains the Byron reference, vampires are known for their of love of Byron.
It really saddens me that I wasn't around y'all when I was reading people's personal ads. It's a lot more fun to mock them in a group than it is to just silently roll one's eyes in private.
No, he only wants a glimpse of the purloined claret.
The guy's profile as quoted in 185 is beyond horrible. There's just SO many things wrong with it.
Also, Americans and 'multiple accents' don't mix. You guys are horrible at that shit.
216: Re: awkward physicality at the end of a date.
A friend of mine had a Nerve date with a woman that didn't go that well. Stilted conversation and whatnot. When they were saying goodbye on the street he didn't want to hug her and a handshake seemed too formal, so he high-fived her.
I laugh every time I think about this.
233 -- awesome! Did he do the "Down low... too slow!" thing too?
I can't decide if a post-awkward-date high-five would tempt me to reassess, or would confirm that I definitely did not want to ever see this person again.
234 -- that would have been fucking priceless.
I have to say, I love these dating threads.
I like Calvados ok, but what I really like is Pommeau, although I didn't understand what it was for a long time. I had the impression it was really hard cider.
Only one of the above statements is even remotely true.
I'm guessing it's "I provoke a gag reflex in buzzards" because I can't see any way to fit that in with Mr. Stoat's stereotype of the uncultured.
*still laughing at 233*
This discussion of alcohol is very informative, it will surely help as I assemble my new liquor cabinet this weekend. However, if one is concerned merely with efficiency and economy, there is my standard recommendation. I wrote another comment with the recipe, but as I cannot find it, the mixture is 1.5 L of grain alcohol, 8 L of lemon-lime Gatorade, and, for optional party-all-night purposes, 6-8 Red Bulls (adjust according to taste preferences and desired level of caffeine). Properly served in a bin, of course. Also, it should be noted that mixing with a big bottle of iced tea makes even the rottenest of the rot-gut vodkas surprisingly drinkable. Oh, college.
I will read aloud to you in a spectrum of accents
Does anyone actually enjoy being read to in a spectrum of accents?
243: There was that "He do the police in different voices" guy in Dickens.
243: Jamie Lee Curtis' in A Fish Called Wanda. In fact, the entire ad reminds me of Kevin Kline's character in that movie. "Apes do not read philosophy."
I mean, I'd happily read in different accents to anyone who wishes it, but I always assume when I do that to people over the age of five that I'm being annoying.
There should be a "character" after "Curtis' ".
Now that I think about it, my father used to read me the Uncle Remus stories using the Brer Bear, Brer Rabbit, and Brer Fox voices and I loved it.
One of my ex-boyfriends did all the accents in The Princess Bride, except Miracle Max, which he totally muffed. I had to read those parts. I liked it.
I hate being read to, full stop, never mind in a spectrum of accents. It's like nails on a chalkboard.
A guy told me that a lot of the women he's dated have asked him to read aloud to them. I find this bizarre.
246: She got off (or purported to get off, it's unclear to me) on hearing people speak foreign languages, not having them read in foreign accents.
249: The one's from the movie, or improvising? Was the voice of the narrator Peter Falk?
re: 250
Yeah, people have asked me to read aloud to them. I generally get told I have a nice speaking voice... but the 'spectrum of accents' thing... shudder.
Yeah, I'm big on being read to. Graham and I used to argue about it, and he'd insist he didn't read well enough to do it, and I'd insist I was sure he could, and he swore I'd get him to do a paragraph from a magazine at most, but I totally, totally won, and I got Tom's Midnight Garden from that children's bookstore near Columbia, he read it, and it went fine. He occasionally called Hattie "Harry" though.
I enjoy when people use accents when telling jokes, but being read aloud to in accents for no reason sounds terribly annoying.
229, claiming the profile is that of a vampire, was me.
So is this a male-to-female thing? Any women have dudes ask them to read aloud? Dudes want women to read aloud to them?
Strangely, being asked to read aloud to someone sounds pretty rad; I'd totally do it and I'd like it.
The one's from the movie, or improvising?
The movie.
Was the voice of the narrator Peter Falk?
Not that I recall.
I will read to you Tia. Though I can't promise that I won't make every character sound like she's from Belfast.
TheCrazyBlonde™ used to ask me to read poetry to her every so often, but not in an accent. It occurs to me now that Auden read with an Indian accent might be entertaining for a few minutes.
re: 256
Yes, a girl I dated a few times when I was a teenager and then became good friends with.
She had a really great soft, slightly husky voice. I remember her reading to a bunch of us while we were all slightly drunk at a party. Someone (not me) insisted she 'read us a story'.
The only person who can pull off the reading-in-a-variety-of-accents thing is Jim Dale in his Harry Potter books on tape.
Jim Dale: also the only person who can pull off not sucking in Threepenny Opera.
Martin Jarvis does a pretty good range of voices in the 'Just William' audiobooks although they are all largely English accents.
257: I take it that I'm missing a joke, but the second part of 251 was adressed to tia, the first to you, apo.
I take it that I'm missing a joke
No, just me missing the second comment number. But now you have the full info on my Uncle Remus memories. No charge.
You have my official permission to like sparkling Australian shiraz; the fact that you're a fucking pleb is clearly none of my business.
Well, of course. What about the favorable comparison of it to cheap red wine mixed with cola would indicate otherwise?
Jim Dale in his Harry Potter books on tape
Jim Dale sucks dog's knobs. Stephen Fry is the guy.
158: i plan to start making it myself when back in boston later on. (three cheers for moonshine).
It won't be moonshine because you won't be distilling anything.
169: Passable substitutes for bitter lemon can be found at Whole Foods and Trader Joe's (you want the "Italian lemon soda").
161: pwnd.
163: Pimm's cup is tasty but really weird and hard to get drunk on.
There's an achewood strip that deals with this, but I can't find it. (Slol: the principle ingredient is gin, but that doesn't mean it has gin's proof.)
Gin's great, of course. Bombay Sapphire is noticably more complex and delicious than all others, but Tanqueray is fine.
I can't take real martinis, because I'm too much of a pussy. There, I said it. You all knew it anyway.
241: *still laughing at 233* Me too.
dagger, how did she keep from laughing right then and there?
I've had the red wine/cola combo; it falls into the general category "any port in a storm, even Grimsby". Sparkiling shiraz is more of a calculated act.
Bombay Sapphire is noticably more complex and delicious than all others
Another gin that had its botanicals toned down for the vodka market, incidentally.
Get some bitter lemon See, that's a problem for Americans.
Well, no. It depends what your local bottler bottles. We can get it Here, America, and I used to be able to get it in <somewhat provincial town I won't name>, America. As well as of course Manhattan. Schweppes makes it.
I await word from on high as to what constitutes an acceptable gin. What about Bombay or Tanqueray full stop?
Slol: the principle ingredient is gin, but that doesn't mean it has gin's proof.
1. Benjamin Q. w-lfs-n, you did not just write "principle" for "principal", did you?
2. No, it's not as strong as gin but you can still get there if you drink a pitcher of it.
I know Schweppes makes it; I've never been able to find it in the States. Live and learn.
The other hard-to-find but fabulous bottled fizzy drink is Dr. Brown's Cel-Ray. Anyone who wants to send me a case, feel free.
Dr. Brown's Cel-Ray
I believe they have that in Here, America, too. D'you really want a case? I could throw in some Schweppes bitter lemon.
I'm not going to tell you that Sapphire and Tanqueray Ten are unacceptable. Just letting you know about them. I just use Gordon's, myself, but then I don't really drink martinis. I have also enjoyed but such gins as Plymouth (but this is, IIRC, a different style of gin as well as that style's only currently produced representative), Hendricks (which I think some people also say is a gin for vodka drinkers), and ordinary Tanqueray.
1. Benjamin Q. w-lfs-n, you did not just write "principle" for "principal", did you?
Not at all! Gin is the principle ingredient in that it distinguishes Pimm's No. 1 Cup from Pimms No. n Cup, where 1
fabulous bottled fizzy drink is Dr. Brown's Cel-Ray
I can find it quite easily, but I'm afraid close proximity to that much Cel-Ray might make me physically ill. I think I've had it twice in my life, not having sufficiently leared the less to avoid it.
On the other hand, I recently had jalapeño lemonade, which was delicious.
I like gin, though once (maybe at the thepoorman's?) when I made reference to fine gin, I was informed that such a juxtaposition of words was flatly illogical since "gin is just rubbing alcohol that won the lottery."
I'm trying to figure out how "first time" became "less," and completely failing.
jalapeño lemonade
Sounds intriguing.
I await word from on high
I don't know how high I am, but Bombay and Tanqueray are fine. Boodles and Gordon's are fine. Hendricks is fine, but too expensive.
I like to make martinis with Bombay and, ignoring Churchill, actually use some vermouth. And a dash of bitters. I think they're good.
286: I'm guessing you started typing "lesson" and changed your mind.
it distinguishes Pimm's No. 1 Cup from Pimms No. n Cup, where 1
I think Ben passed out mid-comment owing to a fit of dissemblement.
gin is just rubbing alcohol that won the lottery
It is interesting that in the c18, gin was strictly for the unwashed masses, but sometime in the c20, it became acceptable. I have an entirely apocryphal story that this occurred because of the need to consume quinine in the tropics (against malaria), hence gin and tonics became acceptable. But I am confident one of you will disabuse me.
Oh, whoops. Where 1 < n < 8. There are seven Pimm's Cups, based on different base spirits; only the first has gin (and I think only the first and seventh are still in production). So you see, gin is the principle that lies behind Pimm's No. 1 Cup.
It's somewhat amazing Weiner figured that out before I did. Also, right before that mistake, "learned."
So you see, gin is the principle that lies behind Pimm's No. 1 Cup
Nice. Your inner pedant must be quaking with rage.
Speaking of gin and the unwashed masses, there is a note in Bleak House that Mr. Frook (I believe, or possibly Mrs. Flite's landlord) smells strongly of "raw gin". How is raw gin distinguished from the other kind? Or does "raw" mean "unmixed"?
(Note: I'm hoping it doesn't just mean "unmixed" because it's hard for me to see how someone who drank gin to habitual excess would smell that much different from someone who drank gin and tonics (or whatever they mixed gin with in Dickens' day) to habitual excess.
I think it's an intensifier without much of a specific meaning in that context - I read it as 'smelled rawly (strongly or harshly) of gin' rather than 'smelled of some particular type of gin.'
Aha: it is Miss Flite's landlord, whose name is Krook, and "he was always more or less under the influence of raw gin, of which he drank great quantities [according to Mr. Woodcourt]" -- not sure why I remembered the passage as being about his smell. So maybe it does mean undiluted. Bleak House, Chapter XIV
ignoring Churchill
God, I wish we could.
And this page says, "'Raw' gin may be flavoured further by infusing fruit in it after the second distillation, to produce fruit gins; the most common and freely available of these is sloe gin2, which is flavoured with the berries of the sloe tree." -- is it more genteel to drink gin with fruit flavors in it? Is this what B-Wo was talking about up above under the rubric of "botanicals"? I think that would mean Dickens was talking about a cheap liquor that had no flavor and was not fit for the upper classes to drink.
Sloe gin is actually made from gin? I had no idea.
w/d Wikepaedia gives a recipe but says "Most commercial sloe gins today are made by flavoring the less expensive neutral grain spirits and produce an often insipid fruit cordial effect."
Another gin that had its botanicals toned down for the vodka market, incidentally.
I'm curious to know more on this subject, since I think the botanicals are what I find interesting, taste-wise. I may be wrong.
Well, all gin is flavored with juniper berries. Some gins, like Bombay Sapphire, have other "botanicals" as well, such as lemon, almond, coriander, and grains-of-paradise (which, incidentally, is also in Sam Adams Summer Ale), to add to the flavor.
There is little as refreshing as a properly-proportioned gin and tonic made with good gin on a summer afternoon.
Dating thread are certainly amusing, but not very comforting. Now, where's that Milky Way bar?
Right, right, but I was curious as to the toning down of the botanicals.
ignoring Churchill
God, I wish we could.
I'm so happy when I even hear tell of someone else who could write that, let alone read it written by her own self.
xxxx
I'm not doing the Nerve dating thing right now but have and probably will again. I must say it's weird to be reading dispatches from someone in the same city as me (even if that city is huge, like New York) just because you know you're fishing in the same pond. Sure, Tia and I probably have different tastes in men and attract different types, but it's weird to think that, theoretically, I could end up on a bad date with a guy one week that Tia had a bad date with the previous week.
(Tia - I mean nothing specific about you in this comment, of course. I've just never known any other women in NYC who have talked in detail about their online dating experiences.)
theoretically, I could end up on a bad date with a guy one week that Tia had a bad date with the previous week.
Alert the Times style section!
311 kicks ass. Maybe B-Wo can write a program to compose essays from random snippets of the awkward conversation at Tia's and Becks' dates with the same Nerve guy. Tia and Becks, you guys will have to wear a wire, OK?
I've seen this article somewhere already. Actually, it sounds like a collaborative version of Groundhog Day, comparing notes on date after date with the same guy, and tweaking the successive daters' behavior until finally someone has a good time.
Sure, if you skip the parts of Groundhog Day where Phil Connors, inter alia drives his car off a cliff with Pawtucket Phil sitting next to him, takes electrical appliances withhim into the bathtub, and to be honest I'm forgetting other attempts, ruining this comment.
Pawtucket Phil
Punxsutawney Phil. Beware the wrath of Southwest PA!
(Drives on train tracks, though I think that ends with him in jail.)
I've seen Punxy Phil -- he lives in a glass case in the front window of the Punxy library, facing the town square. Big rodent. Very big rodent.
317 -- how can he do his groundhogly duties inside a glass cage?
Yeah, Pawtucket is in RI and is where Family Guy takes place. My head isn't working today.
Right, playing chicken with the train is before he starts trying to kill himself. When caught, he asks the police officer for waffles.
They unleash him on the day. The other 364? In the box.
Dr. Brown's black cherry soda is good. Cel-ray is nasty. I had it only once. University dining services used to do these really lame themed meals, usually dinner. They did New York deli day and served cel-ray. It was a bad idea.
Dr. Brown's black cherry soda is good. Cel-ray is nasty. I had it only once. University dining services used to do these really lame themed meals, usually dinner. They did New York deli day and served cel-ray. It was a bad idea.
Pawtucket is in RI and is where Family Guy takes place.
Family Guy takes place in the fictional town of Quahog, RI (or at least that's where the family lives.) If one were to judge Quahog's location by the view of the Providence skyline depicted in views of their home, it would be in northern parts of Providence, or the town of North Providence. For those who want more, there's Quahog.org's Family Guy concordance.
If you had told me, when I was young, that when I got near forty I'd be hanging out in bars in Pawtucket, I'd have never believed you. But here we are. Those who live there--which may soon include me--refer to it, not entirely affectionately, as "The Bucket".
Pawtucket is in RI and is where Family Guy takes place.
Family Guy takes place in the fictional town of Quahog, RI (or at least that's where the family lives.) If one were to judge Quahog's location by the view of the Providence skyline depicted in views of their home, it would be in northern parts of Providence, or the town of North Providence. For those who want more, there's Quahog.org's Family Guy concordance.
If you had told me, when I was young, that when I got near forty I'd be hanging out in bars in Pawtucket, I'd have never believed you. But here we are. Those who live there--which may soon include me--refer to it, not entirely affectionately, as "The Bucket".
Today is a day of doubly posted comments.
313 is the key to the mystical nature of this thread.
Why TF am I thinking of of Pawtucket then? Because a Red Sox farm team is there?
325: My fault--got fooled by another Interal Server Error.
327: That may always remain a mystery.
University dining services used to do these really lame themed meals, usually dinner.
Bazzfazzing ungrateful young whippersnappers. The new dining services guy introduced those when I was there and they were such an improvement. I do not, however, approve of Cel-Ray. (Also, serving noodle kugel during Passover? Dumb.)
ome gins, like Bombay Sapphire, have other "botanicals" as well, such as lemon, almond, coriander, and grains-of-paradise (which, incidentally, is also in Sam Adams Summer Ale), to add to the flavor.
I'm willing to bet $100 that all gins have other botanicals added, though not, of course, that precise list.
Also, I'm mad to try Cel-Ray, because celery is awesome. Mad, do you hear me?
I think I misremembered the plum saketini. It actually had a whole prune floating in it, and it became infused with the saketini liquid and you could eat it to top off the drink.
You know what I hear totally rocks? Cel-Ray with little bits of matzoh crumbled up in it.
It's not my fault you're all mixed up food-wise, Weiner.
327: Because Pawtucket is practically North Providence, and has a much better name?
JL, I bet some of the Pawtucket bars are a lot nicer than when you were 20.
332--Tia, I have to say that prune saketini doesn't sound nearly as appealing.
335: Perhaps, but not by much. Gentrification has not had that great an impact on Pawtucket outside of a few neighborhoods, and even those are fairly marginal. And anyone who wants to go to a classier bar just heads into Providence, there are tons of them these days.
332 -- Was the prune possibly an umeboshi plum?
Dear Weather,
Thanks for coming along and ruining me again.
Yours,
The Weekend
saketini
Try as I might, I can't help but read this as "Sock it to me!"
The prune was good, JM. This goddamned rain is going to screw with my reunion weekend. There won't be any bonfires! What kind of a college reunion doesn't have bonfires?!
But it doesn't sound quite as appealing, Tia; surely you can appreciate that?
The rain has already destroyed my shrimp-grilling plans. Well, my honey's shrimp-grilling plans; he's the one with the grilling fetish, which I haven't decided whether to write off as a male thing or a cultural thing. Which is more condescending?
It's double post day. It is also the day of the InternalServer Error. I got one at 2:30.
342: To both questions: why can't it be both?
I'm not doing the Nerve dating thing right now but have and probably will again. I must say it's weird to be reading dispatches from someone in the same city as me (even if that city is huge, like New York) just because you know you're fishing in the same pond.
I've had the exact same thought, though I too am not dating right now.
But henceforth, I resolve to end every bad date with a high-five. It's a good way to convey "meh."
If enough of us in NYC start doing this, it might become a phenom and then get written up in the Times.
If enough of us in NYC start doing this, it might become a phenom and then get written up in the Times.
If my understanding of the NY Times Style section is correct, this reasoning is precisely backwards.
I await word from on high as to what constitutes an acceptable gin
Plymouth, in general. However, Joey Ramone once said "Tanqueray and tonic's my favourite drink/ I don't like anything coloured pink" and I am not going to disagree with Joey Ramone here.
btw, I went to the opera tonight at Covent Garden (Bartok's "Bluebeard" and a rather bracing Schoenberg monodrama) and I was wearing my black chinos and a darts-player polo shirt. hahahaha. (I maintain that the 50% of people who had decided to put on lounge suits and ties ended up looking like provincial accountants out for a night on the town).
281: Yes! A Cel-ray and Bitter Lemon hookup!
You're only saying that to find out who I am and where I live, aren't you? Ah well. For Dr. Brown's, I'll throw my anonymity to the wind.
(I maintain that the 50% of people who had decided to put on lounge suits and ties ended up looking like provincial accountants out for a night on the town).
And I'm the snob for expecting people to put on a damn tie.
Pawtucket was the setting for much of the movie Outside Providence, which I found pretty enjoyable.
I am currently in the market for a big hat with the c-word written on it, by the way, if you spot one on Ebay.
Is this what you were looking for, dsquared? Or too small.
It hit 87 degrees (F) here today; tomorrow and Sunday it's supposed to be at least 91; I'll gladly trade for rain.
I'm thinking of starting a petition to get the landlord to heat the pool at least slightly; he's too cheapass, and the water comes from the mountains, and is ice cold. The last two summers the pool has been more or less unusable, even on the hottest days, unless one is a polar bear.
Hey, JL, another Rhode Islander? I just heard the term "the Bucket" for the first time tonight, although I've lived in Providence for 10+ years, while out to dinner with a friend who lives in Oak Hill. She said she finds the term derogatory, and we told her too bad, it was catchy.
The only reason I know about the term "The Bucket" is from the movie referenced in 351. It is used in a derogatory manner in the movie, but only by residents of said Bucket, so I figure they know what they're talking about. And not that it's worth anyting, but I find it catchy too.
You know, I haven't been able to bring myself to talk about it until now, but I'm incredibly hurt by your incredibly insensitive reaction to my Nerve personal. I'm going to go drown my sorrow in some purloined claret now. I hope you're happy!
Hey, JL, another Rhode Islander?
Yup. From southern RI, lived in Providence since about 1989, with time off for good behavior in Chicago, Boston, western Mass, and upstate New York. But I keep coming back.
"The Bucket" is meant to be derogatory, though it's mostly used by people from there in a sort of self-deprecatory way. Oak Hill can be nice, though. I love how the real estate ads for houses and apartments there scream "EAST SIDE" followed by "(Pawtucket)".
I don't know the history of the nickname; it would be interesting to know if it had anything like the lineage of Wormtown.
I used to always think of Larkin's "Here" when contemplating Providence, though as all the development of the '90's made that seem inaccurate. Mostly now it just reminds me of Cavafy's "The City".
the movie Outside Providence, which I found pretty enjoyable.
If you watched Rushmore and thought, "Gosh, I miss all the clichés one usually finds in prep school movies, I'd like to see a movie that contains every single one," then Outside Providence is for you.
(This violation of comity brought to you by Archer Daniels Midland. We make your soft drinks taste nasty!)
Hey I just got around to looking in my liquor cabinet to see what brand of gin I occationally drink and it is Beefeater's. How does this rate on the reduce-their-botanicals-to-placate-vodka-drinkers scale?
If you watched Rushmore and thought, "Gosh, I miss all the clichés one usually finds in prep school movies, I'd like to see a movie that contains every single one," then Outside Providence is for you.
Hey, I didn't say it was great or anything, just pretty enjoyable. Some decent acting in it too, in parts. Also, I watched it on a shitty-but-astoundingly-cheap-bootleg-from-the-guy-sitting-on-a-blanket-on-the-corner VCD in China with a roomful of similarly Western-movie-deprived whiteys, which probably made all of us rate it higher than we might have had we watched it amid the comforts of Greater Lubbock.
Also, motherf&*k Archer, Daniels, AND Midland.
And not just for the corn syrup either.
I'm actually already considering passing the college prof guy off to a friend of mine who's internet dating; he seemed like a catch, and maybe he'll like her better.
Wait, how would you do that? Show her his profile, or what?
(Pardon my ignorance in the ways of internet dating.)
Yeah, I'll just tell her his Nerve name, and she can contact him.
Collect 'em! Swap 'em! Trade 'em with your friends!
Is this the wine-spilling guy, or the purloined claret guy (who mentioned students) that you're passing around like a cheap candy bar?
I assume it's the wine-spilling guy; the other one didn't seem like much of a catch.
Spill the wine and date that girl?
I assume it's the wine-spilling guy; the other one didn't seem like much of a catch.
Maybe Tia just has a cruel sense of humor.
No, no, I am selfless and kind, and I want my friend to have a crack at wooing the college prof, since I can't have him.
Be sure and warn your friend to keep they Oxyclean handy. Does she not have the same desire to keep a veil between Nerve Dates and Real Life.
Eventually the veil has to get pierced, if you like them.
It's not all about the wedding, Tia. (Please note cleaner-minded of two misreadings chosen.)
It's not all about the wedding, Tia.
Yeah, geez, you're going to scare the guy off!