I guess my five-year reunion will be next year. If I go, here's how I imagine it. My accomplishments will be, "I have published two articles and a handful of book reviews and, um... gone way the hell into debt." Everyone else will say, "Well, at least you're not divorced." Because everyone else will be. (The small Christian college I went to is something of an MRS diploma mill.)
No one even really talked in terms of their accomplishments at mine. People talked about what they were doing, but not in any kind of "here are my successes" terms. There were a lot of people their who'd married other people from the college, or who had married other people, or who were engaged. At one point I saw two women who I knew had gotten married to guys from our college in the past year, and when they asked me what I'd been up to, I said, "Not getting married!" I must have sounded defensive, because they said that was okay.
Went to a huge state school, commuting from home, so there's no one to be re-united with. I've enjoyed my wife's, from comparative stock-taking to mutual joy and schadenfreude. Always been a good experience for us.
Tia, you had a three-day reunion?!?
Wow.
It was really only one day. I got there Friday night and left Sunday in the early afternoon.
Went to night school so likewise, no one to be re-united with. I occasionally get alumni type of contacts from *my high school (from which I never graduated), *my early-entrance college program, *my second college (from which I never graduated), and *my third college (which I attended at night). Haven't really responded to any of these except the second, from which I have some pretty good memories; but it was only a one-year program and I don't know if they are ever going to have a reunion.
And now I am enrolled in a graduate program at the engineering school of my second college, and attending classes remotely so again, not really making contact with other students.
The only reunions I've ever gone to are the ones for my MIT co-op, which are lovely and low-pressured (largely because I'm on a very different career track from most other alums). I've never been to a generalized college reunion.
Tia, there's nature in Brooklyn.
And when you ascend sainted into heaven, that skirt is going to be like your Shroud of Turin, chronicling all your life's trials and travails, a relic sacred to your earthly followers.
Also, what is it with you and the falling into the mud all the time?
A garden is not nature! I like gardens, but they're not the same. When else did I fall into mud?
But right across the street from the garden, is a big swatch of nature (and some manicured lawns too, sure; but the top of Mount Prospect has got a bunch of the last never-logged forest in NYC.)
When else did I fall into mud?
I think he meant figuratively.
Anyway, I was talking more about the feeling that I was living among the nature, or that it was extremely easily accessible. Like I could stumble out of my door and in the right direction hit nature in under ten minutes.
last never-logged forest in NYC.)
Not so -- parts of Inwood Hill Park are old-growth, I believe.
That is not a reason to move to Jersey -- nature-type areas exist in Jersey but they have to be sought out just as much as in NYC.
Maybe it's a reason to move to Prospect Heights or to Inwood, though.
Some parts of Jersey are still very rural -- Buck had a trap line in Jersey in the 70s, and the area around where he lived hasn't changed much. (Yes, I married Huck Finn. Well, more like Tom Sawyer.)
I associate that feeling with being out in the middle of nowhere, anyway (not that it's ever been quite that way for me, unless City Creek Canyon counts). Nature is a nice place to visit but I wouldn't want to live there.
What about Fort Tryon park? Old-growth or no?
Hey, it's 6/6/06! The person to leave a comment on this blog at 6:06, according to this blog's time stamps, wins.
17 -- The "Jersey" to which I was referring in 14 encompasses only areas of Jersey which are within an easy commute of Tia's job; which I am guessing does not include Buck's boyhood home. Sure there is some nice livin' down in Monmouth or Burlington or Hunterdon Counties, or west of Morris County; but it's harder to get there.
20 -- I've already won, sort of, since this Mark of the Beast day is the 13th anniversary of my and TMW's wedding.
Jersey has no sidewalks, remember. Therefore it is evil.
I feel like I can't go to any reunion, since I haven't yet amassed the accomplishments sufficient to Show All Those Fuckers.
Primary speechwriter on the 2004 Dean campaign is pretty good, letting alone all the theater stuff. Where did you go to school that anyone else is going to have much that's cooler?
High school is what I mean, LB. High school. Very specialized trauma. I only have one year of college.
I think the analysis in 25 still stands. Face it, so long as you have interesting accomplishments to show for it, which you do, doing it without a BA raises rather than lowers your status. You're a free spirit, man!
Yeah, the larger obstacle is having to travel to Texas. To see a bunch of people I don't even really want to see.
This already happened, by the way. I skipped the 10-year. We'll see how I feel for the next go-round.
When else did I fall into mud?
Oops, does this comment refer to the same shoe-sucking event?
Also, whereabouts in Texas are you from, Joe?
Yes. One in the same incident. I'm not that muddy.
I advocate high school reunions, really. Joe, you still look young and attractive--believe me, you'll enjoy the reunion.
Speaking of which, I have to remember to respond to the invitation for my twentieth. I hate you all.
Two more years for me. Not much of a difference.
The most visibly successful person from my college years, Alan Furst (the writer) was one of the nicest and least egotistical guys there. There are some people who I'd have been sorry to see become famous, but not him.
20 -- I've already won, sort of, since this Mark of the Beast day is the 13th anniversary of my and TMW's wedding.
Wow, 13th. That's awesome.
It really burns me up that it's so expensive to fly to Texas.
One in the same incident
Aiiiiiiiiighhhhh!!
I'm not that muddy
[downcast] Not even figuratively?
and. sorry.
In other news, I think Oliver Willis is featured Salon personal right now.
I have to remember to respond to the invitation for my twentieth. I hate you all.
My 20th would be this summer as well, so you don't have to hate me. I haven't heard anything about a reunion despite still living in the same town.
Mine isn't in the summer, it's in stupid September, which is part of the problem. Obviously no one else there is on an academic schedule any more, or something.
If you still live in the same town, Apo, you're supposed to be the one who organizes it. Duh.
and. sorry.
In other news, I think Oliver Willis is featured Salon personal right now.
Jet Blue isn't so terrible, if you fly from JFK to Austin.
(Does Jet Blue exist in DC?)
36: Two days ago I bought a signed copy of a Furst book as a Father's Day present.
I’m one of those people who needs to be invited to things, and ushered in. Just asking if I could play represented a lot of emotional growth for me since my teenage years. That was my best effort, and if after that no one scooped me up and assigned me to a team I’d be too diffident to make another sally.
I'm sorry to hear this; I'm the same way and it's always made it difficult for me to join in on things. It's also not unrelated to the fact that I have little reason to go to a college reuinion as there aren't many people for me to reunite with.
I take back whatever it is I said a while back about you not seeming to be that shy.
Wow, 13th. That's awesome.
You mean for its mystical numerological properties, or for the sheer long-timiness of it? Either way thanks.
My uncle was in W's class at Yale (though they didn't know each other that well at the time), and got to go to the reunion that was held at the White House a few years ago. Being a staunch Republican, he was quite thrilled, but he said that many of his more liberal classmates were very conflicted, in that they were no fans of Bush, but didn't want to turn down dinner at the White House.
I'm going to my 20th high school reunion in a coupla weeks. I was in, um, a certain Asian country for my 10th, so fortunately couldn't make that one, but seemed to have a cool reason for not doing so.
But I'm actually kind of looking forward to this one, as I've gotten back in touch with some of the people I would actually want to see, and we're all going together in solidarity, maybe even pre-drunk, just like in the good old days.
BitchPhD, M/tch, and I all graduated in 1986. Anybody else? Because we're making good progress toward establishing a quorum.
Dr. Oops, not that she comments.
Really, it would have been much more mellifluous if you'd just said "Bitch, Mitch, and I."
I never graduated but would have in '88, had I.
Am I the only one now envisioning Tia as Caddy Compson? Yes? Okay.
I've never been to any reunions, though I'm about to miss my fifteenth college this year. Which puts my twentieth high school next year. Hm. Probably skip that too. Unless B and Apo report fabulousness from theirs.
That's a nice lawn you old folks got here. It would be a shame is someone were to mess it up.
Why, slol? Because I mentioned trees? And because stained clothes feel metaphorical?
My 10th hs was awesome. I totally want to go to the 20th as well, if I can manage the stupid September date.
Get off my fucking lawn, eb.
mellifluous
Oh jeez, that reminds me of the valedictorian's speech at my brother's high school graduation. I'm pretty sure she started with a list of five-dollar words and crafted her speech around it. She gave this little pause each time she said one of them (my friend and I counted, I think she got up to 25 or so) to illustrate the flashing neon sign that surrounded each one of the little nuggets. It wouldn't have been so bad (they're interesting words in moderation, after all) if she hadn't subtly misused most of them.
My brother was born in '86. He'll be a Junior in college this fall.
All of my siblings (of whom I am eldest) are out of college. My youngest sister (who must have been born in 1980, I'm pretty sure) is studying law, and currently a summer associate.
On this day of penchant juxtaposition, we reflect not just on the salubrious plinth of our college years, but on the unredoubtable myriad of opportunity that lies ahead.
At my high school graduation, one of the speakers announced that he had been called to enter the priesthood.
Oh jeez, that reminds me of the valedictorian's speech at my brother's high school graduation.
At my college graduation, we had three student speakers. One I've forgotten all about. One said that he was running of to start a circus (nor was he lying; he'd run an on-campus circus for a few years). One, named, if I recall aright, Anne Pretz (with whom I took more than one class in the Classics department, one of which was the class taught by Mark, he of the apparently no longer commenting), gave the most godawful pretentious shit and garbage speech evar, concluding with a sentence that began bromidically and ended with "champagne and bonbons [after?]". Blecch.
Keep in mind, it's not as if she was randomly selected. She had to submit her cacata carta and have them judged against other would-be speechifyers.
64: Hey, you were there too!
At this same graduation, the guest speaker was some author who told a really long anecdote about the writing of the Oxford English Dictionary. Something about how one of the main contributors was in prison, and how this didn't stop him from sending in a whole bunch of definitions, IIRC. But she forgot what the point of the story was, so she just just sort of stopped talking after a while, resulting in an implied moral of "even if you're in prison, you can still be productive". It was very inspiring.
That should be "Even if you're in a prison for the criminally insane because you murdered someone during a psychotic break, you can still be productive. Won't stop you from amputating your genitalia with a pocketknife, though."
67: Um, isn't that just the plot of The Professor and the Madman?
Although depending on when you graduated, I guess that might have been before its time.
one of the speakers announced that he had been called to enter the priesthood
Was it the principal?
I was pretty much robbed of the chance to give my college graduation speech. I wrote a fabulous one that was funny and personal but really embodied the spirit of the place, I got enthusiastic applause at the speak off, strangers drunkenly accosted me a month later to tell me how good it was, but I was assigned 12th out of 13 speakers and they let people vote and then leave, so by the time I spoke half the people had left and voted, so I'll never know whether I might have won under other circumstances.
I hate those graduation speeches. At my college graduation, they all sounded like they were trying to do a parody of a graduation speech, except they were for real. In high school, I was selected as the student speaker, and if I remember correctly, what I said was pretty terrible too. I wonder if I have that speech anywhere...
depending on when you graduated
It was his brother who did the graduatin', and quite recently.
It was a student, and the speakers were selected in open competition. I don't remember exactly, but I think he said he'd added the "I'm going to be a priest" part to the original speech about faith and commitment.
This whole business of choosing valedictorians amazes me. I thought it was the people with the top grades, period, multiple speakers only if there were a tie. No pretence they'd be the people with the most, or anything, to say.
69 (and 68, I think): I haven't read it, but from the book description that sounds right. This was Spring 2004 (my younger brother's graduation), so it was after the book was published, and the speaker was not that author. I guess she was just cribbing her stories.
68 would have been much more interesting advice, she should have been clearer.
At my high school, the students voted on who was going to give the graduation speech based on a sample speech given at an assemply beforehand. We voted for aguy who gave a witty, clever, and charming sample speech. On graduation day, on the other hand, he literally opened with "Commencement is not an ending, but a beginning..." and went downhill from there.
(At the party that night, I told him, at length, how boring his speech was. He poured a beer over my head. I really can't blame him.)
Feel free to emphatically denounce the gross injustice of allowing people to vote on speeches without hearing them all....
I dunno, Tia, I voted against Taylor Hicks without having heard any American Idol contestant ever, so I think it might be a bit hypocritical of me.
I am shocked, SHOCKED, by the voting procedures of Tia's college.
Tia, the clear answer is to show all those fuckers one day.
At my HS, some student committee chose the graduation speaker; they picked the cult-of-personality history teacher, and I have no idea whether or not his speech was good because by then I mistrusted him so much, solely because he was so charismatic, that I ignored everything he said.
the clear answer is to show all those fuckers one day.
Show them your secret weiner, that is.
78: You are to be commended for not getting up on a table at the reunion and denouncing them all.
The Valedictorian and the speaker are two different positions at my high school's graduations. We don't have real valedictorians, it's just all the people with 4.0s that sit up on stage. We would have two student speakers as well, both chosen by audition. One slot was only open to the valedictorians (and since most of them were the really quiet, in-the-corner-with-a-book types, this spot was pretty much assigned by default to the most arrogant and brash one), the other was an open audition. Without fail, the open slot would be the superior speech every single year.
I think I could have shoved another couple more clauses into 82.
And Tia's college runs dirty elections. Dirty, but not, alas, erotic.
71: The primacy effect occurs in real elections too.
75: At both my high school and my college, both the valedictorian (person with the highest grades) and other students, at least one of whom was voted into the position, gave speeches.
75: Oftentimes, like at my high school, there's the valedictorian and the student-selected speaker. I was the latter, not even close to the former, although I guess my experience was an exception to 85, as the valedictorian was a good friend of mine, an excellent and very funny (and much better than I) speaker who I believe may be now doing (or trying to do) comedy writing.
This custom appears to be universal now, and I must say, is an improvement if the method of selection works. I think we had a student speaker at something, maybe an assembly, but not at graduation. I played in the orchestra pit for the two graduations before my own, so I became something of a connoisseur. There was occasionally some wit, but basically I was disabused of any notion that a 4.0 might be a superior being.
I don't think my high school had a valedictorian at all. Probably would have been thought of as elitist.
Ours was a hybrid. There were something like 22 students with perfect GPAs, and they all competed for the speaking slot (those that wanted it, anyway).
90: That's the way my h.s was. Things got a bit out of hand, actually; some parents started threatening lawsuits over the selection of the valedictorian, so the whole concept got overhauled. Valedictorian doesn't mean at all what it did 10 years ago now, though this is probably for the best. I think it was county-wide too, not just at my school.
(on preview: 91 is basically what our setup was)
At my high school the valedictorian and salutatorian gave speeches. If there was more than one person in either position, they all spoke.
I don't think my high school had a valedictorian at all. Probably would have been thought of as elitist.
Maybe just everyone at your school was too stupid to get good grades?
93 could be so much better with the addition of one word, "simultaneously."
I gave the speech at my high school graduation. Talk about a way to ruin a good time. It's pretty hard just to kick back and relax when you know that's looming over your head, especially when every school administrator you run into gives you a non-kidding pep talk like "Congratulations! Now, you'd better not screw this up or you will bring shame upon the school and your entire family."
Why, slol?
Caddy.... slipped and fell down in the water.... [She] was all wet and muddy behind....
That, plus the mention of incestuous romance, about did it.
Also, we had to submit a copy of our speech to the principal two weeks before graduation for approval. When we gave our speeches, one of the administrators followed along on the printed copy to make sure what we said matched word for word. If you deviated from your pre-submitted remarks, you didn't get your diploma.
98 - Went OK, I guess. I got my diploma. I'm pretty sure it was one of those lame "Commencement is not an ending, but a beginning..." speeches, though.
It would have been so much better if you'd said "geniuse" instead of "genius", causing the administrator to withhold the diploma.
That should tell you how naive I was at that age -- I actually believed all of the "It'll go on your permanent record"-style threats.
If you deviated from your pre-submitted remarks
Brownshirts.
I was pretty sure I had talked up my ten-year high school reunion here before, but a site search doesn't turn up the comment I was thinking of. It did however turn up a number of "Forbidden!" links, mind you.
So, I had a blast at my ten-year HS reunion. My last vivid memory of it is skinny dipping in the organizer's parents' hot tub at four am with the actor turned massage-therapist and Goa-trance DJ turned aspiring Classical Guitar professional. All of the cool and respectable people had gone home a long time before.
OMG, yo. I just found my speech. It's soooo bad.
What definition of 'cool' are you using?
My last vivid memory of it is skinny dipping in the organizer's parents' hot tub at four am with the actor turned massage-therapist and Goa-trance DJ turned aspiring Classical Guitar professional.
That's awesome.
107.--Yeah, I'd meant to scare-quote that one. I dunno, the Alpha types, the snobby ones, the boys who were athletic, the girls who demanded and got limos for prom...
Speech! Speech!
OK, this is truly craptacular. I remember that the valedictorian was supposed to write about the class as a whole looking forward and the salutatorian (me) was supposed to write a personal reflection that looked back on the four years at school. That's why it's so "me, me, me". Anything remotely interesting was stripped out by the administration so it's completely bland. They also "strongly suggested" that I put in the religious part, if I remember right. I'm surprised how short it is. I've written blog posts longer than this.
Choosing a high school was the first real decision I made. It was the first time that one of my choices had a great impact on my future and, at the same time, did not give me a chance to go back and change my actions. Choosing my future after high school has proven to be the second real decision I have had to make, and it has left me with many of the same feelings that I had four years ago. While I am eagerly anticipating the adventures and freedoms that lie ahead, I realize that I am foregoing a safe and familiar environment for an uncertain destiny. Although the period of transition before me is similar to the situation I encountered in junior high, I realize that my experience at [Becks’s High School] has given me the resources to face the challenges before me.
I am leaving BHS with the confidence of knowing that, through effort and determination, I can succeed in life and reach my goals. I have been given the opportunity to take risks, and learned that temporary failure is often only a stepping stone to greater achievement.
I have had the opportunity to learn about myself and develop a solid sense of identity. BHS has helped me grow to become not only a confident leader, but also an enthusiastic supporter of others. I have been motivated to challenge my existing talents and strive to develop latent ones. Besides realizing my personal capabilities, I have also had the opportunity to foster a spiritual relationship that has grown to be an important aspect of my life.
Most importantly, BHS has helped me find a community that has been a constant source of encouragement and acceptance. In both faculty and classmates I have found role models that have inspired me to work to become a better person. BHS has provided me with a nurturing environment on which I can draw in times of trouble or celebration. The generous and selfless acts that I have witnessed during the past four years will stay with me always as a reminder of the power that is generated when people come together in support.
While I recognize the uncertainty that faces our class in the next few years, I am not afraid of what the future will hold. If we were able to make one of the best decisions of our lives without the benefit of the experiences we have had over the last four years, I am sure we will be able to use the knowledge that we have gained at BHS to chart a successful path in life. We will have many more choices in our lives where we will not have the opportunity to change our decisions. I just hope that in the future each one of us can look back at those situations in the same manner that we are looking back at our experiences at BHS--with pride. Thank you.
This is also proof that you should be careful about what you send/tell me as I have pretty much everything I've ever written/emailed/etc. backed up and at my fingertips.
FREEDOMS!
I AM NOT AFRAID!
(Not so bad, actually.)
115 - I only use my powers for good, eb. Like embarrassing myself for the amusement of others.
Not afraid, not afraid, NO NO, no, not afraid.
It's pretty good, though, Becks. I was hoping for some more spectacular embarrassment.
105: So wikipedia thinks I'm wrong, but I don't think you (or anyone else, for that matter) can skinny-dip in a hot tub. I would use that term to describe only ocassions where one goes nude into a body of water which could swim at least a short distance longer than the length of their own body in.
119: I think the issue is not length, but depth.
What part of "dip" implies "swim"?
BitchPhD, M/tch, and I all graduated in 1986. Anybody else?
I graduated from law school in 1986. They just had the 20th reunion; I didn't go.
I have to run, but surely the issue can't be decided simply by looking at the meaning of each of two words joined prior to joinging them together and deciding that their combination's meaning is derived from that. It's decided by something or other, and I'll specify what that something is as soon as I figure out what supports my views.
Skinny dipping does mean swimming, I think. Naked hot tubbing is either "naked hot tubbing," or, if you're unprudish, "hot tubbing."
Skinny dipping does mean swimming, I think.
No it doesn't. No one thinks "skinny dipping" means doing laps, or swimming at all. The standard case is naked in a pool, playing around.
I didn't say swimming laps. The standard case isn't a damn pool, it's a lake. I'll accept, though, that it doesn't have to mean one need actually swim; that one can be in water that's shallow enough to stand. Not shallow enough to sit, however, which again, is "hot tubbing." Shallow enough to wade is, of course, simply "being naked."
Skinny dipping should be far more splashy splashy than swimmy swimmy.
I think it would be awesome if a valedictorian just got up on stage and said "goodbye" or "be well" or something like that. For what else could it mean to valedict?
I was pretty sure I had talked up my ten-year high school reunion here before, but a site search doesn't turn up the comment I was thinking of. It did however turn up a number of "Forbidden!" links, mind you.
heheheheh. Forbidden!ness should be resolved.
120 -- circumference is also at issue.
Hey! I just went to my college reunion, too! And it was three days! And no one talked about their accomplishments, just about what they were up to! All my friends looked the same, but older! And there was free booze!
Reunions rock.
Hey, I found mine.
I don't care how self-indulgent this is. I help run this blog.
*clears throat*
I have a confession to make. I wrote this speech at the very last minute. I had been thinking about writing a speech for a month beforehand, but of course I never got it done. I kept making this vague excuse that since the speech was supposed to reflect on my [College] experience, I should get as much of my [College] experience over with as possible before I wrote it. This morning, the very day of the speak-off, with senior honors study papers due in less than a week and papers to [college-specific verb meaning peer edit] and a paper on Ulysses to write, the one paper I didn't have was the one with a speech written on it. Then I started lamenting. How could I have not written a speech? I've been thinking about doing it for a month! Here I have all these reflections about my time here that I want to share with my graduating class, but do I make myself sit my butt down and write a speech? NO. This is it; it's so typical. I have the creative impulse but no drive. I'm never going to get anywhere in life; other people are going to become writers and scientists and human rights attorneys, but I'm going to wind up a bitter, unfulfilled insurance executive! I'm going to teach home-ec! I'm going to work for Starbucks! And I'm going to be sexually frustrated. That doesn't really have to do with not having written a speech, but it seems to pop up whenever I'm being neurotic. I'm a [nickname for people who went to my college].
But I'm here making the speech. Maybe this means there's some hope for fulfillment in life. Maybe I'll even have lots of good sex, although I'm a little dubious. Now that I'm past the stage of my crisis in which I berate myself for my inadequacy and the consequent hopelessness of my future, I have to analyze what about my psyche made me prone to the crisis. Why should my sense of self-worth depend so much on this one speech? No one needs me to write it; no one needs me to speak; [College] will march on even if I miss one opportunity to say publicly what I think of it. The answer is that [College] has instilled in me the need to speak, to make my mark. I can't be content when I discern a potential in myself that I fail to actualize. [nickname for people who went to the college]s are do-ers, not be-ers. We want to make something; we want to produce; we want to leave the world different from the way we found it. We are always in the process of becoming, because that's what's demanded of us, and that's what's in our essential natures. Somehow we knew that this would be the school that would demand all we could possibly give and more, and that's why we chose it.
I could never have been a tour guide. In the midst of extolling how the number of volumes in [Library]'s collection enriched my education, the compulsion to tell the truth as I saw it would have gotten the better of me, and I would have said to the first spec I saw: don't come here if what you most want is to be happy. I'm not saying [nickname for people who went there]s are never happy. But I think that preserving happiness requires a kind of stasis that [nickname for people who went there]s are not capable of, and even if they were, this school just won't let them have it. Do! Make! Grow! [College] tells us. These are your imperatives. And if you fail to do or make or grow, be frightened and frustrated, and question yourself, and ask why you are not doing what you could. Take joy in creating. But do not simply be happy.
My most joyful moments here have been set against the stage of procrastination, fights with my friends, feelings of inadequacy, unrequited love, anxiety, and B+'s. It as overcoming that made me happy, not peace. And I have done and made and grown. I shudder to think how high the stack of papers I have written would reach. I have learned to read a book with insight and creativity. I have challenging, exciting, and exasperating friends whom I challenge, excite, and exasperate right back. I have loved, and lost, and regained in new forms.
I remember one day at the end of last semester I as crunching across the snowy field from [Dining Hall] to [Heath Center] on my way to my therapy appointment. I'd had an angst-ridden semester during which I constantly complained about the yawning void at the core of my being and even drew little cartoons of the yawning void on on the white board of my door. But at that moment, I was walking across the field, and I looked at the snow and the five o'clock blue and purple sunset and the lights of the [Dorm] rooms and the bell tower jutting against the sky and the stark, grand trees on [walkway] and everything saying, "We look peaceful, ah, but underneath..." and I just loved [College] so much I started to cry.
With all that said, there's a danger in attending a school that makes such unyielding demands. Some desperate illness has invariably befallen me every semester. I've already alluded to the dramatic emotional crises that my patient friends have had the joyous task of talking me through. But I think the greatest danger we all have faced at [College] has been in sometimes letting the external define us, of forgetting that we live for ourselves, that we produce because our own strength must manifest itself as strength, not because we're obligated to do it. If there's one thing that's abundant at [College], it's guilt. And guilt cripples strength.
But we're leaving the school that has demanded so much. I think we can all agree that it's definitely time. We're getting a degree that proves we lived through it. We came here with potential, and now we have matured into such powerful, dangerous beasts. We have minds and hands that feel an innate and unstoppable trive to analyze, order, interpret, transform. We're going to be let loose upon the world. We're going to make art and thought and changes in the way things are run. Anyone who wants to preserve the status quo ought to keep us far away, because when we get near, our changing, transforming, becoming energy will set to work on whatever we can get our hands on.
And we won't just transform the world. We'll transform ourselves. In spite of our great power, we know so little about who we'll be. We are so raw and unformed. When I don't feel like a powerful, dnagerous beast, I feel I"ve been encased in a cocoon of studenthood for 17 years, and I'm about to emerge a pink, bald, blinking, frightened little animal who does not yet understand the shape of her own sking. And I'm going to wriggle around and not know where to go or what to do with myself. But what's so liberating is that my shape and my path are for me to determine, as they are for all of us. We question and we argue and we fight. We tell the truth as we know it. We see things not just as they are, but as they should be. These are all the reasons why we have to make speeches. We are graduating from [] Collge, and it is not for us to sit silently in the background, but to announce our presence to the world, and make our mark on it.
Any alleged ass kicking should take into account the fact that I was four years older.
Tia's college sounds a lot like my sister's (although I know from certain details in the speech that it isn't the same one).
Plus, Tia's speech didn't have to be vetted by high school administrators, and she was allowed to admit that sex exists.
I kinda wish my college had a [nickname for people who went to my college]. Well, ok, in thinking about it, we do, but it's stodgy.
My 10th college reunion is next year, and I got suckered into being on the gifts commitee, so a fair amount of the fun part of reunioning will be canceled out buy the asking-my-friends-for-money part.
Finally, my wife was her high school's valedictorian, and was given a book as a prize, but the inscription was mispelled: "To [wife's name], valedictoian." Ever since she showed me that inscription, I've pronounced valedictorian like I was Elmer Fudd.
I did my high school one. It was very, very, very earnest. And that is all I'm willing to say.
125: Because of grammar and spelling erros in 119 and 123, or because of what I said?
OMG! "erros" s/b "errors". I should claim that I've been drinking.
To [wife's name], valedictoian.
That is easily the funniest fucking thing I have read all day.
We had no ceremonies to mark the end of high-school and no speeches. There was a graduation ceremony at university but no students give speeches. Thankfully.
Although Tia's speech above is cool.
144/5 -- "Spelling Eros" would be a good title for a romance whose protagonists were proofreaders or copy editors.
146: It's even better, because my wife's first name is Rachel, so it's fun to imagine the priest from The Princess Bride reading it: "Wachel, you awe ouw vawedictowian!"
The most pathetic misspelling I've ever seen is when I got a letter from an insurance company entreating me to apply for insurance from it, together with a copy of its application. Unfortunately, at the top of the application it said "ISNURANCE APPLICATION." I sent the company a letter suggesting that if one sells insurance it's a good idea to spell the word correctly. I never got a response.
It took my college three tries to give me the right diploma. First they gave me a Bachelor of Arts. I gave it back, pointing out that I'd earned a Bachelor of Science. So then they sent me a Bachelor of Science degree, but they forgot the "High Honors" designation at the bottom (which had been on the B.A. one).
53: I am now.
I just went to my 20th. Absolutely amazing, stayed out until dawn, finally got to hang around with the cool kids - I was never hip enough back then - laughed my ass off, etc. The best thing was, while no one really changed that much, everyone mixed freely and all the previously drawn lines were (almost) completely erased. (Like I said, I finally got in with the cool kids.) Kinda gives you hope. Saw the old BF - LB used to call him 'prairie dog' because of his somewhat nervous demeanor around my family (actually a perfectly reasonable response, all things considered). He set up the whole thing, so I guess he has come out of his shell, hole, whatever. Anyway, it was just fabulous, and I highly recommend the experience to all, even if your memories of the place were less than wonderful.
OK - I realize that was a pretty lame way to introduce myself to all of you, but for Pete's sake, I am sick and tired of reading my name used in vain! And what a name. So I picked up an instrument backwards once, is that how I am going to be remembered? I'll have you all know that I've screwed up much worse than that.... Ah shit, I'm not helping myself at all, am I. I guess Dr. Oops is better than "Dr sewed-the-liver-in-upside-down" (didn't happened to me, but to someone I know).
Hi everybody.
Don't feel obliged to retain the nickname, obviously. I didn't tell you about the blog for months because I was embarrassed to say what I was calling you.
Hi Dr. Oops. I'm the one who went to high school with you and LB. You signed my yearbook once.
Hi Dr. Oops. My handle to the contrary, I'm not the lechy teacher from your high school.
He was fairly new in the school, I'm not sure that she'd know who you mean (Social Studies department, not the English lech).
but for Pete's sake, I am sick and tired of reading my name used in vain! And what a name....Hi everybody.
Yeah, baby. Stories. And as an elder sibling myself, I expect you to demonstrate that payback, like an elder sister, can be a bitch.
Luckily, there are no amusingly embarrassing stories about me. I'm very dull in person.
Fruit basket for Dr. Oops.
As for the nickname, I am Pierre the architect who designed the finest buildings in all of France, but does anyone call me Pierre the Great Architect?
[On preview, 158 is clearly a challenge. Step up.]
Luckily, there are no amusingly embarrassing stories about me
LB has obviously forgotten the aftermath of the December meetup.
This is really becoming a family affair. We've had: Apo, Apo's wife; L., L.'s mother; TMK, TMY; IDP, IDP's daughter; and now LB, and LB's sister. Also Kieran and what's her name, the causality expert, and John and Belle.
I suppose I ducked out and went home embarrassingly early, if that's what you mean.
162: Excuse me, I think you are forgetting my husband.
I'm very dull in person.
No one believes you, youngling. And oes anyone think this is true: I didn't tell you about the blog for months because I was embarrassed to say what I was calling you. Of course not. You were worried that we would be embarrassing in front of your sister. And, soon, we will demonstrate that you were right.
Also, hi Dr. Oops! I must be the only person here who somehow missed knowing the origin of your name--thanks for explaining it so clearly!
True, he's even been to a meetup. I realized I had forgotten when I saw you in the sidebar for this thread.
Actually, I don't know how you could ever voluntarily give up a name like Dr. Oops. Anything else would either sound self-aggrandizing - 'AmazonMD' - or coyly self-deprecating - 'oversized wrong-handed lunk.'
156: Did he share a name with a law of physics? As you can see, I have been secretly watching you all play Botticelli.
BTW, do you all know how nervous-making it is to post on this thing? I am terrified of the grammar police out here. I have enough trouble with the regular cops.
154: AC, I am happy to say I have exactly no clue who you are. This confirms that I am just as obtuse as I have always believed.
Belle used to comment, but AFAICT John has only done so once. No more often than my mom.
Actually, I don't know how you could ever voluntarily give up a name like Dr. Oops. Anything else would either sound self-aggrandizing - 'AmazonMD' - or coyly self-deprecating - 'oversized wrong-handed lunk.'
156: Did he share a name with a law of physics? As you can see, I have been secretly watching you all play Botticelli.
BTW, do you all know how nervous-making it is to post on this thing? I am terrified of the grammar police out here. I have enough trouble with the regular cops.
154: AC, I am happy to say I have exactly no clue who you are. This confirms that I am just as obtuse as I have always believed.
Actually, I don't know how you could ever voluntarily give up a name like Dr. Oops. Anything else would either sound self-aggrandizing - 'AmazonMD' - or coyly self-deprecating - 'oversized wrong-handed lunk.'
156: Did he share a name with a law of physics? As you can see, I have been secretly watching you all play Botticelli.
BTW, do you all know how nervous-making it is to post on this thing? I am terrified of the grammar police out here. I have enough trouble with the regular cops.
154: AC, I am happy to say I have exactly no clue who you are. This confirms that I am just as obtuse as I have always believed.
156: That's the man. And so don't worry about the grammar police. Have you noticed how I write? I suffer from dashes like some sort of disease.
Actually, I don't know how you could ever voluntarily give up a name like Dr. Oops. Anything else would either sound self-aggrandizing - 'AmazonMD' - or coyly self-deprecating - 'oversized wrong-handed lunk.'
156: Did he share a name with a law of physics? As you can see, I have been secretly watching you all play Botticelli.
BTW, do you all know how nervous-making it is to post on this thing? I am terrified of the grammar police out here. I have enough trouble with the regular cops.
154: AC, I am happy to say I have exactly no clue who you are. This confirms that I am just as obtuse as I have always believed.
The double posting police, on the other hand, will be speaking sharply to you.
Triple posting. Dr. Oops is banned!
169: I tracked down both that Holbo comment and one Belle comment before I claimed they had both commented. I had forgotten about...your mother!
I had forgotten about...your mother!
Yeah, I found her forgettable as well. Unlike w-lfs-n's.
Sorry about the double post. The first time I tried, I got an error saying the server thought I was malicious because I was posting too frequently.
Oh, Jesus, I appear to have posted it 4 times. I now have to retire in disgrace. I blame the Machine!
Don't worry, when I get over the humiliation, (normally takes about 5 minutes), I will dive into humbling the mighty LB. A quick preview to whet the appetite: What do bunk beds, metal rollerskates, and Hitler all have in common?
I am terrified of the grammar police out here.
Fucking w-lfs-n. I would fully support a government program that taught w-lfs-n Arabic, and then set him lose on terrorist-friendly boards to correct grammar. It would be funny, and it would be more effective than our present policy.
(Becks-- Email me. I have some questions about banning particular IP addresses.)
What do bunk beds, metal rollerskates, and Hitler all have in common?
As a USENET discussion grows in length, the likelihood of any of these three things being mentioned approaches 1?
Dr. Oops, consult the ISE kitten (ideally ISEs should send you there, but they don't).
182 -- subtle. Really subtle.
No, the grammar police are real. We need to maintain the high bar for entry, people.
179: The recurring outbreaks will do that.
Luckily, there are no amusingly embarrassing stories about me. I'm very dull in person.
Dr. O--having worked with your baby sister, I know this to be untrue. Perhaps you, ac and I should hijack a thread some time for the purpose of telling embarassing stories about LizardBreath. Why I remember the time . . . . Wait, I forgot, I was banned earlier today. Maybe another time.
180: Is LB's dash rash related to her sister's comma trauma?
172: Memo to myself: try to be a little quicker on the uptake. Or at least preview. Dolt.
182: So, you think you can control me that easily, do you? [cue bicycle music from "The Wizard of Oz"] "I'll get you, my pretty..."
186: Thanks for the heads up. I'll have you know I split infinitives with alarming regularity, and, umm, also I often... Well this is embarrassing. I don't know any of those rules you aren't supposed to break. Shoot.
We're hoping you'll tell us about your dangling participles.
You'll learn 'em right quick, though.
INFINITIVES SHOULD BE SPLIT
Belle used to comment, but AFAICT John has only done so once.
He also commented here.
Also notable on that thread: Fontana boasting that he's "fully equipped to karaoke "Young Guns" from the early Wham!".
You know, "The Grammar Police comments" is ungrammatical. Someone should fix the sidebar coding to recognize plural nouns.
Not to mention this great story from apostropher.
Actually, jholbo commented a number of times.
196 -- I'm pretty sure police is collective, not plural.
To incorrectly split an infinitive is looked down upon. By incorrectly I mean in a way that hurts the readability of your sentence. But splitting, in and of itself, is fine.
AC, I am happy to say I have exactly no clue who you are. This confirms that I am just as obtuse as I have always believed.
I can produce the yearbook to prove that you once knew me. Actually, you were one of very few seniors who signed my book in 10th grade, which is why I remember. I suppose there is no reason for you to remember me, because I was a peon two years below you. But you were very nice to me at the time. Nice to peons, that's you.
Wow, this place is dangerous. I should have have known better than to start commenting. The desire to respond to everything is overwhelming, and by the time I think I have come up with something clever, there are eight more posts to answer. I suspect the solution is to just relax (!) and get on with it. I am very happy for this ice breaker, as I have wanted to put my two cents in for a while, and this is a lovely thread to ease my way in without committing to any political/social/philosophical viewpoint. If all goes as intended, I will soon be spouting off like the rest of you charmers.
Just so happy to be here!
It'll slow down. If you show up in another thread, people should start being dismissively hostile as soon as they get to know you.
161: Thank you, I have corrected the error.
189: I see what you mean. I will try to do better.
Don't worry, you can trade on and squander all the good will accumulated by your younger sister.
Collective, plural, whatever. Don't be pedantic.
Sorry B, did not mean to usurp your role.
I love dismissively hostile. All my favorite relationships were based upon the concept.
You and I will get along just fine, then.
I love dismissively hostile.
Fuck you, clown.
211: Get over yourself, honey.
LB - Hey, you're right! This is much better. Now I feel at home.
208: No, my role is to dismiss pedants and pretend to be breezy and flip. Except when someone trips my humorless feminist switch, and then my role is to fly into an entertaining rage.
Collective nouns are semantically and gramatically plural, whether syntactically singular or plural. Police is also syntactically plural.
Is that right?
"Police" s/b ""Police""
Or is that, "Police" s/b "'Police'"?
Or maybe it's "Or is that, '"Police" s/b "'Police'"'"?
214 -- I believe it is right but IANALexicographer.
I'll bring the strapon, TMK. Your place or mine?
then my role is to fly into an entertaining rage.
Entertaining?
205: 161 meant that "Fruit basket for Dr. Oops" should be "Fruit basket for Dr. Oops!" to convey enthusiasm. Now it has to be "Fruit basket for Dr. Oops!!" If you take this as license to change your handle yet again I will be forced to take drastic measures. As it is, I'm considering making you challenge mmf! for the one you already have.
Paging Dr. Oops. Paging Dr. Oops. Fruit basket in cardiology.
This reminds me, ask me about Pittsburgh sometime.
218: Yes. Unless you're the person against whom it is directed, in which case it's illuminating and educational.
Hey Matt, what's the deal with Pittsburgh?
Rats. I guess it's obvious that the name fits. Is it appropriate to have an identity crisis at this point?
Zounds! This chess-playing hottie doesn't like "grammar nazis"! Could there be a downside to my lovable ways?
224 -- why not? Everybody else is doing it.
OTOH the president of the Estonian Chess Federation is an supermodel, apparently, so maybe there's hope yet. And this person can't be faulted either. I'll just assume disliking pedantry is a flaw that 19-year-olds grow out of.
"an supermodel"??? Good luck finding a girlfriend with mistakes like that.
I use the British pronunciation: "yoopermodel". Like "yooman".
Now that I have re-assumed my proper name, I am leaving. I find I have spent the better part of two hours with you people, and I don't even know you, except of course in that really creepy peering-through-the-venetian-blinds kind of way. But fear not, I shall return, wih pithy witticisms and the like.
221: That's the lamest come-on I've ever heard. Besides, I'd much rather ask you about Scranton, if you know what I mean.
LB - I know I suck.
Scranton? Good luck.
It's still "a yoopermodel."
231: Oh yes, affected accents are soooo sexy.
I live next to a big old forest.
Sweden -- similar to South Jersey in not being within commuting distance of NYC.
(but different afa duration of summer daytime and winter nighttime.)
