I had a conversation about this once with a bunch of women, though we were talking about dating. There was a big divide; some of us actively preferred someone who was bigger and stronger; some of us felt intimidated by someone who was too big and strong, and would prefer to be able to beat our boyfriends up.
Still, while I can't empathize directly, something about it sounds rather pleasant: being able to arrange your life so that your safety isn't so much a matter of assuming that everyone around you is going to obey the rules of society, than knowing that if someone else loses it, they aren't likely to have the capacity to cause you any serious problems. Anyway, interesting.
I just had the strongest sense of deja vu -- wasn't there an Unfogged post several months back on a different subject that ended with an almost exactly similar construction? Something that provoked a long thread back-and-forth about what the ending of the post meant? I seem to recall Patr/ick Niel/sen Hay/den being involved somehow, in an antagonistic role.
3: By the end of the post, do you mean "Anyway, interesting?"
And the preceding multi-clause sentence.
A friend of mine's very serious boyfriend once got mad and tried to push her around, but since she was stronger and more agile than he was she just wriggled out of the situation, although it also involved wriggling out of her shirt, and she had to go down to her apartment (they lived in the same building) only in her bra. It wasn't the end of the relationship, but it did seem to be a turning point after which everything bad stood out in higher contrast, and she eventually broke up with him. Before that incident she was sure they would get married.
In 8 I meant Megan, not Tia's friend.
No, she's encoupled with a new person now. But not married.
9: Yes, there're a couple of posts on the fact that the blog is a semi-serious personal ad.
Eh, I think that's a kind of messed-up way of looking at the world.
She's probably overestimating how many of these guys she can drop, and really, the whole idea is nuts. Everyone in any kind of relationship trusts to some extent. Am I supposed to approach every woman wondering if she's going to stab me to death in my sleep?
I do like the URL for the World Taekwondo Federation.
Of course, it also depends what you're thinking (I haven't read the linked post). If it's a rule of thumb for one-night stands, it makes some kinda sense. But if it's a rule for serious relationships, I'd say yeah, demonstrating some serious trust issues and/or lack of faith in your own judgment.
Either of which may be perfectly sound, of course: a person might have good empircal reasons to doubt their judgment in men, or to have issues around trust. But I, personally, wouldn't want to be in a relationship with such a person.
16: How'd your brother do in his tournament, btw?
The linked post is actually about all men at all times.
Once, when I came over to a guy's house, he asked me if he could look in my bag for a gun.
But if it's a rule for serious relationships, I'd say yeah, demonstrating some serious trust issues and/or lack of faith in your own judgment.
From the post, not so much a rule for serious relationships, as a rebuttable presumption for who she wants to be friends with. Which does come off as weird, certainly. I wonder if there are guys who think this way -- uncomfortable socializing with other men who they think could take them.
Korean martial arts like to torture you with high kicks. Sadistic little Koreans.
15 -- Nonono, you're supposed to approach every woman wondering if she's going to sleep with you, then change her mind and accuse you of rape. And/or, that she's going to tell you she's using birth control, and then take you to court for paternity. And/or, that she's going to become pregnant with your baby, and then have an abortion without telling you about it. There's a long list of potential problems, her stabbing you in the back while you sleep is practically the least of your worries.
Eh, I think that's a kind of messed-up way of looking at the world.
I agree with B. (This has happened several time lately, does this mean that the Apocalypse is near?)
So her list so far is, what? no strong men, no lawyers, no smokers, no stupid people, no doms, nobody under 25, and she's not willing to relocate--have I got it all?
20: Huh. I suppose that's a logical enough thing to do, but if someone said that to me I would freak out and think, "wait, do you have a gun?" and leave.
Then again, I do kinda worry about how to find out if PK's little friends parents have guns without sounding like a freak.
What do small or untrained women do? Just trust?
Pretty much! Trusting your own instincts is to my mind more valuable than thinking whether I could knock someone out in a fight.
I wonder if there are guys who think this way -- uncomfortable socializing with other men who they think could take them.
No doubt, but it strikes me as strange.
I approach every woman wondering if she's going to give me an STD. It's constantly offending my wife, but geez, it's just a simple question.
Well, certainly. That was what struck me about the post -- both that it was an odd way to approach things, and how interesting to have the option to be weird like that.
14 and 15 get it exactly right, in my gut feeling, but maybe it's just that she wants somebody who could, potentially, share her favorite interest? I dunno. I hate to judge. It just seems a little crazy.
It could also be because my first boyfriend was a football player (tight end - no, really) who could totally have kicked my butt if he wanted to, but he was just a big teddy bear who couldn't have hurt a fly (unless they were a fly in the other side's uniform, I guess) and so I was innoculated early against the idea of thinking of my dates in that way. I mean, that just didn't enter into my attraction to him, and it didn't enter into how we broke up, and so I passed through my first relationship without caring.
From a purely pragmatic perspective, does this really work to accomplish the ends Megan is trying to achieve? Like most martial arts, taekwondo is less useful for beating people up than it is for building the confidence to fight back against an attacker in the first place. It's not really a golden ticket to the Kick Everybody's Ass factory.
19 - He did very well in the tournament. Very well. Some stuff is still up in the air that I'm afraid to talk about for fear of jinxing him but we'll know more in a week or so and I'll surely put up a post at my site when we do. Fingers crossed!
28: Really? I thought it was totally crazy. Particularly as I had made various disclosures that would have given him reason to not want to sleep with me, and I theoretically wouldn't do something like that if my secret plan were to murder him. I let him look, but I thought it was weird.
19 - Either way it goes, my little brother could kick all y'all's asses.
Wow, like the French judge downgraded him on artistic merit and there's a protest?
It's not really a golden ticket to the Kick Everybody's Ass factory.
Whoa, well said.
29: I don't think so. I think that women learn to be really alert to oddness or potential hostility (hence the frequent complain by jerky guys that women are so bitchy and won't give a guy a chance).
Just to flip to the other side, because Idealist's agreement freaks me out and makes me feel I must demonstrate some hostility, I suppose it is something that most men wouldn't "get," since presumably most guys are used to the idea that they're stronger than their romantic partners without ever having even thought about it. I don't have a clue what that feels like. But I do know what it feels like to be just a leetle suspicious and standoffish much of the time, and one of the things I have to admit I enjoy about the company of men is that there is a particular kind of guyish ease and openness that is relaxing to be around. And I've never thought about it, but maybe that ease and openness is an expression of the comfort that comes from being able to fully relax in intimate situations?
Was 38 to me? Yeah, something like that.
my little brother could kick all y'all's asses.
He'll have to get through the waffle first.
36: Well, it's logical in the "letting a virtual stranger into your house" kind of way, but like I said, it would freak me out. It's logical, but shows a real ignorance (or flouting) of social norms. Plus, it seems a little controlling--"will this woman let me look through her bag?"
guys are used to the idea that they're stronger than their romantic partners
And then there's w-lfs-n.
You definitely learn how to hone your instincts. I can even detect the creepy from, like, one email.
I have heartily regretted not listening to my creepy detector in the past.
one of the things I have to admit I enjoy about the company of men is that there is a particular kind of guyish ease and openness that is relaxing to be around. And I've never thought about it, but maybe that ease and openness is an expression of the comfort that comes from being able to fully relax in intimate situations?
This, a bit. There's a particular type of personality that you find in big guys that seems to have something to do with never having given a moment's thought to bullying or being bullied -- that that sort of thing is simply not on their radar at all -- that's very easy to be around.
43: I mean, I don't think that women "just trust"--I think they learn to pay attention to clues that suggest whether someone is or is not trustworthy.
I think I made some comment here about being around my 6'4" boxer cousin, and being hyper-aware of his power to kick ass. He's a lot bigger than most guys I hang out with, and I really notice it when visiting my family.
Maybe there's some atavistic feeling there--that if someone did threaten me, he could beat him up.
48: Yeah. And wouldn't it be nice to be able to be that way?
And then there's w-lfs-n.
Yeah, but he seems like the type who would like it if a girl pinned him and spanked him, so it all works out.
40, 48: Man, you guys are totally insightful. I never even thought about this, but this is true. I've had two separate friends, one in college and one in law school, who are very tall, large dudes (above 6'4"), and both are very laid-back, easy to be around. I think also, due to a complete lack of the possibility of their masculinity being challenged, they both are sort of soft-spoken, very kind and compassionate.
Not that shorter guys aren't those things too. But the correlation between demeanor and height between these two beloved friends of mine just struck me in a big way.
Maybe you should email her. Repeatedly. I'm sure she'd be able to figure it out after a couple of dozen.
46: No. In fact, I have a remarkably good impression of you.
Maybe I shouldn't be so quick to think Megan's crazy here. It was just last night that my honey announced that the doctor had weighed him in at 125 "and a half!" pounds. Still, I wouldn't bet any money that I could beat him up, if for some reason we had a physical fight.
After all, I should be able to take Tia in our long-postponed rumble, but I just know she'd bite.
125 "and a half!" pounds
Holy moly. Is he, like, a 13-year-old?
Does he have an advanced wasting disease? I heard LB say she could totally take him.
I said 'advanced', mind you. No fair putting me up against men who are merely in the early stages of a wasting disease.
No, I see grown men around here who are skinnier than my 17-year-old niece, and she's pretty damn skinny. They're mostly Southeast Asian, though.
No: at 13, he probably weighed 65 pounds. He's just one of those small-boned, wiry guys with an overactive metabolism.
I wouldn't know anything about being married to someone like that. Although Buck has put on a lot of weight since we met -- he's up to 165 or so, which still looks skinny but no longer in danger of blowing away in a strong breeze.
The last guy I dated was 6'6", which became TOO TALL when I had to dismantle a bed frame so he could stretch out. Also: nature designed him to be a Viking, but he wanted to look waifishly thin, with the result that his elbows and knees stuck out knobbily. In sum: last guy was a git.
JM, the next guy will be the porridge Goldilocks chose.
Megan could make things even easier, dating-wise, by running a personals ad: "Taekwondo chick, [insert ht & wt here], seeks males to beat up."
Then she could sift her pool of respondents.
Anderson doesn't know what "sifting" is. *snicker*
49: Well, that's why it was 'trust your own instincts', with instincts being honed over time. I'm not sure, though, that it leads to a categorizing people as 'could beat up, therefore safe and will relax' or 'couldn't beat up, therefore unsafe and will remain edgy.'
Yes; except "sifting" is what the receptive partner does, I just decided.
46: Not until you asked that question.
"Receptive" ... a bit droll.
"I asked my wife whether she might not fancy a bit of buggery, and happily for all, she was in a receptive frame of mind."
Now hold on SB, you can't just go around making up words like that willy-nilly.
Earlier today I was looking at pictures of Cathy Sei/pp's daughter's graduation party (I have no idea why), and saw a pinheaded woman with blonde hair in them. Looking closely, I saw that it was Ann Coulter. This filled me with a strange, cold dread. Imagine having her at your garden party!
"Receptive" ... a bit droll.
Who, me?
Imagine having her at your garden party!
That's what citronella candles are for.
"Receptive" ... a bit droll.
Who, me?
Yes, but "droll" in the particular sense of "crashing a menage a trois and thus making it a menage a quatre." Look it up, it's three pages before "sifting."
"Receptive" ... a bit droll, with notes of oak, vanilla, and blackberries. Nice finish too.
M/tch reminds me of the classic of that genre:
40,48,54:Let me see, as a 5'4" 120 lb dude, do I have anything to add to this? Where's Farber? The Duke said in "The Shootist":"It ain't the quickness or the accuracy, it's the willin." Anybody see the picture of the kittycat treeing the bear?
Am I irritable, defensice, overly aggressive because of my size? More or less sensitive to certain problems of women? Does my size directly affect my weltschmerz and weltanschauung, not exclusive to but including my Spenglerian pessimism? Does anybody what a short person says anyway, since they have no reason to live?
Is my humongous member adequate compensation? Does a cock joke redeem the rest of this comment?
I think it's great that Megan sees her size and strength as a positive. She is bucking a very deep cultural value. Why is it any weirder for her than for a man to want to be the physically stronger partner? After all, it is what a lot of men feel. They seem to think a woman bigger and stronger than themselves is some kind of offense against nature.
And it's not only men who have this issue about gender and size. I'm quite tall, and other women of my size have told me that they dislike being with smaller men because they feel implicated in various stereotypes: You can both be quite fit and attractive, yet suddenly there's this trailer-trash thing in the air--big fat mama and scrawny tattooed banty-rooster with a gold tooth saying "make me a sammitch, bitch".
A friend of mine who is 6'2" was riding in an elevator with a couple of short, non-english-speaking men. they (the men) were looking at her and talking to each other, when one of them started making these weird snorting and bellowing noises, and they both started laughing their asses off, and she realized the guy was joking about what it must be like when she came. So, so creepy.
I'm posting this even though the thread has moved on to one-liners, and if anyone doesn't like it I'm going to beat them up.
"...and if anyone doesn't like it I'm going to beat them up."
As expected, and as is your right. Life sucks.
My wife is three inches taller than me, and I don't feel threatened.
Of course, I have fifty pounds on her, so...
That's what citronella candles are for.
Don't think so. Too soft to penetrate the chest cavity. You need a proper stake.
I haven't read the all comments yet, so sorry if I'm saying something already said, but if Megan thinks she'd win a serious fight against more than a relatively small percentage of guys she's totally deluded.
I mean batshit crazy deluded.
Nothing wrong with feeling empowered by being fit and skillful, though. All power to her in that respect.
[this could end up retreading comments from an earlier thread]
On the other hand, I don't think it's necessarily crazy that she wouldn't want to date guys that she feels might be physically intimidated by her or who she doesn't respect. Personal taste is personal taste after all and what works for her is pretty much her business.
I do agree with earlier comments about really big physically intimidating guys often being really mellow and unaggressive, though. I have a few friends like that.
On the other hand, I don't think it's necessarily crazy that she wouldn't want to date guys that she feels might be physically intimidated by her or who she doesn't respect.
I think you've got that backwards - she's looking at men who she isn't physically intimidated by.
I do agree with earlier comments about really big physically intimidating guys often being really mellow and unaggressive, though. I have a few friends like that.
Everybody, but particularly teenage boys, needs a few friends like that.
88 is kidding, mostly. I only remember being bullied once. My partner says I have always projected a violent craziness, a berserker vibe. A chihuahua can bite your thru Achilles tendon before you notice him. The lady, like many "martial artists" may be full of it. Winning a fight is not worth getting hurt. It's the willin.
OTOH, we had a game in my young adult crowd. Simple game. The ladies would try to slap your face or kick your nuts. A real man could stop them without hurting them. Quickness and gentleness and self-control were highly valued. Sometimes you let them get thru, laugh off the pain, stop them the next ten times. Whole evenings spent entertaining each other.
My "best" friends have always been over six foot. A father thing, need for protection? I verbally abused them sometimes. Never liked guys my own size. They seemed grasping and needy, too eager to please. Huh.
OTOH, we had a game in my young adult crowd. Simple game. The ladies would try to slap your face or kick your nuts. A real man could stop them without hurting them. Quickness and gentleness and self-control were highly valued. Sometimes you let them get thru, laugh off the pain, stop them the next ten times. Whole evenings spent entertaining each other.
This is really, really weird.
"Receptive" ... a bit droll, with notes of oak, vanilla, and blackberries. Nice finish too.
"Finish" is appreciated.
OTOH, we had a game in my young adult crowd. Simple game. The ladies would try to slap your face or kick your nuts. A real man could stop them without hurting them. Quickness and gentleness and self-control were highly valued. Sometimes you let them get thru, laugh off the pain, stop them the next ten times. Whole evenings spent entertaining each other.
I no longer value your opinions on who should be the Democratic presidential candidate.
You apparently haven't heard his plans for conquering the Middle East.
Matt, half the men in this thread seem to be tiny.
100!
(Though it hardly seems worth it anymore.)
I actually never pay any attention until I screw someone over. Then I enjoy the gloating.
97: Finnish is deprecated. At least the architecture anyway.
I think it's great that Megan sees her size and strength as a positive. She is bucking a very deep cultural value. Why is it any weirder for her than for a man to want to be the physically stronger partner?
Reminds me of an old cartoon from (I think) Our Bodies, Ourselves of all places: man and woman are talking, as tough-looking woman goes by. Man (chuckling blithely): "I don't think I'd want to be married to someone who could beat me up whenever they felt like it." Woman: "Well, neither would I."
My partner says I have always projected a violent craziness, a berserker vibe.
This does not surprise me at all.
Matt, half the men in this thread seem to be tiny.
I'm sure it's just because you're standing so far away.
96:Why weird? The thread was about sexuality and violence and trust. The key words were: Quickness, Gentleness, self-control. Yes, there psychological dimensions. But the point was the women testing the men, and the men showing they would not hurt the women. It was real, and it was harmless. Trust me, you know nothing about violence until you have given and received it.
Our "martial artist" probably has belts with aborted kicks and an occasional accident...seems to romanticize violence. We didn't romanticize violence, but eroticized it, very carefully, with strict rules. And the sex was great.
I'm 6'0" and a pretty solid 205. That seems to be a good size for deterring aggression, but not nearly so effective as being amiable and quick with a joke, which has always been my main strategy for avoiding unpleasantness. 15 years without anybody taking a swing at me, and another 10 before that one brief encounter.
I'm six nothin' too, but only about 170. But that's still generally big enough to deter agression, particularly when mixed with amiability, self deprecation, and quick jokes. I can also do a pretty convincing "don't get me angry 'cause I might just be crazy" act, if necessary, although it almost never is.
I was a lot scrawnier in highschool, and used to walk much closer to the line in terms of verbally messing with guys who could kick my ass, but I was pretty much always able to stay just inside the line by passing it all off as a joke or as if I didn't get my own joke and thus wasn't making fun of them or through turning the joke around to be on me. That and having a few big strong friends.
Is avoiding fights really such a big concern for people? I've never even come close to fighting someone.
I feel like we've had this conversation before. Size matters a lot; experience matters more. I'm not aware of anyone, man or woman, who I would definitively bet against in a fight with me. And that's pretty much OK.
Our "martial artist" probably has belts with aborted kicks and an occasional accident
I don't know which league or whatever the hell you call it of TKD Megan competed in but the one my brother's in doesn't pull punches. He's had his nose (not not broken but spraying blood everywhere) during sparring matches at his last 2 competitions and comes away with serious bruises. Some kid got his neck broken at Nationals last year. It's full-on, serious contact.
114: Obviously you don't mouth off enough then.
re: 100
Obviously size does makes a difference and the big, strong, well-trained female martial artist is obviously going to have much more of a chance against some guy who is 5'5" and weight 140lbs than she is against the guy who is 6ft tall and weighs 200lbs+.
I still doubt that the female martial artist, particularly someone practicing something like taekwondo, is going to beat an average guy of average size and average aggression particularly often without a fair bit of luck on their side
None of that is to diminish the value, for someone like Megan, of feeling strong and being fit and getting a chance to be aggressive.
116 - When you get to the advanced levels of competition (which it appears Megan did), at least.
I got beat up a few times as a kid for mouthing off. And learned that, duh, if you act bored by someone's stupid threats, they'll generally leave you alone. That and the "I might just be crazy" thing.
Matt, half the men in this thread seem to be tiny.
I'm a towering 5'9, 170 pounds.
What's average size? I'm about 5'9" and 150 lbs. (a bit on the small side, to be sure) and I'm pretty sure she could take me.
I still doubt that the female martial artist, particularly someone practicing something like taekwondo, is going to beat an average guy of average size and average aggression particularly often without a fair bit of luck on their side
I think the female martial artist could
A) prevent the guy from doing any harm to her, pretty much indefinitely
B) maybe twist his arm or something
I don't understand why she'd want to make sure the man is someone she could win a fight with; it seems like it would make more sense to look for a man who would definitely not be able to beat her.
117: Apparently so. I don't think I've ever mouthed off to anyone, actually, and I doubt I ever will.
It's not like it's anything I worry about much -- barring those two times I got attacked in Samoa, I can only think of one situation where I've ever worried that someone was going to hit me. (Barring sibling fights as a kid.)
I think the female martial artist could
A) prevent the guy from doing any harm to her, pretty much indefinitely
I wouldn't bet on it.
Who was the shrink who said that after Freud & Kinsey had broken the sexual barriers, the compensating taboo would become violence? I forget.
Y'all might think about your attitudes toward violence in the light of prior mystifications of gender and orientation. The lady martial artist is, IMO, one incorrect way to approach it...it is not a path to status and power; but to fear and abhor violence excessively is another way to give violence power over yourself.
I was accepted by near bikers in my early twenties; I am no longer quite that person anymore, irrespective of what jm may say.
Tip: WHen some guy you've just met asks if the party you're both at is your coming out party, if you want to avoid a confrontation it's best not to reply with "No, I got here late cuz I just got done with you mom."
I was accepted by near bikers in my early twenties
The near beer busts were epic.
I've never even come close to fighting someone.
My one fight in the last 25 years came while ejecting a drunk stranger from our frat house at the end of a party. It pretty much amounted to two punches, a bunch of grappling, then holding him down until the police arrived. All in all, I felt much more manly when I had to bust down my own front door with my shoulder. That was entirely more gratifying.
Well, re: size, I'm 5ft 10 but weigh about 210lbs. That makes me fairly heavily built (OK, verging on a bit fat!) for my height.
re: 116
Most TKD does point fighting rather than full contact. The contact can be pretty rough -- fighting to score points doesn't meant that strikes are delivered completely without power -- and accidents happen, especially in the heat of competition, but generally, it's a world away from even, say, serious amateur level boxing in terms of contact and aggression.
123: Y'all are forgetting the 15 lb kitty treeing the 300 lb bear. The bear was not stupid. There is a Burt Reynolds movie where he is teaching a kid self-defense:
"First, you tear off the guy's ear."
gswift: "I'm a towering 5'9, 170 pounds."
Yes, but you're armed.
The near beer busts were epic.
Whole kegs full of near beer.
I was accepted by near bikers in my early twenties;
Is that biker talk for "pulled the train."
I've been really surprised at the reaction this has gotten. I would never have realized it was that unusual a perspective. I don't actually expect to get in fights with anyone. I never have.
But I don't see the problem with a screen that lets just about everybody through, and the remaining big guys have to show they are nice (which many do). What is the risk? That I'll miss the occasional nice big man? I miss friendships with lots of people 'cause we don't realize we are alike in whatever short encounter we have. And being open to short scrawny guys opens up the other end of the spectrum for me.
Megan, I'm just glad that ogged, at 8 lbs, gets under the bar. And it's not more bizarre a criteria than any number of others that people employ.
I brought it up mostly because it was interesting to see someone applying a screen that I wouldn't be able to apply, because I'd screen out most (and I mean seriously most) men.
I think the negative reaction is twofold: first, that it seems kind of paranoid -- assessing who'd win a fight is one thing, but resisting hanging out with someone who might seems overly tense. And second, you've got some people questioning your realism (which I have to say I can't see any reasonable way to discuss. You think you could take most men, I don't know any reason to think you're wrong, but I don't know much. If the conversation turns to who here in the comments could beat whom up, I plan to be pre-emptively bored.)
129,134,135: You're right, it was kinda boasting.
I am no longer quite that person anymore, irrespective of what jm may say.
No, but I still wouldn't mess with you despite having four inches and five pounds on you.
As for the martial artists schtick: The boyfriend before the thwarted Viking 6'6" dude was a 5'8", maybe 140 pound French artist with an angelic face. He got mugged a couple of times and then decided to take ninjitsu courses. He quit right after he nearly lost his eye in a sparring session, but he's never had *any* trouble with muggers since.
gswift: "I'm a towering 5'9, 170 pounds."
Yes, but you're armed.
It's got a 10 inch barrel.
Damn italics tag, s/b Yes, but you're armed.
Most TKD does point fighting rather than full contact. The contact can be pretty rough -- fighting to score points doesn't meant that strikes are delivered completely without power -- and accidents happen, especially in the heat of competition, but generally, it's a world away from even, say, serious amateur level boxing in terms of contact and aggression.
Yeah, point fighting is good for learning some basics, but sometimes can breed bad habits. People in the quest to get the point will leave themselves open in ways they wouldn't if it meant risking a full contact counter.
It just doesn't seem useful as a sorting mechanism, Megan, to my mind, to divide the world into 'guys I can feel safe with' and 'guys who I can't feel safe with.'
My boyfriend is about 5'10'' and around 195-200 pounds. He could probably kick my ass in a fight if he were sufficiently determined, but I don't think of him as dangerous.
As a screening preference, hey, whatever works. If guys are 'allowed' to like only blondes or leggy women, certainly 'must be beatable' isn't that weird a criterion.
131: It depends on what you mean by 'fight.' I probably couldn't win a boxing match with most guys, as I'm on the smaller end of normal. On the other hand, if I'm worried about self-defense, I don't need to win a fight, I just need to get away. That, I'm pretty sure I can do.
I will only fight leggy blonde women.
I appear to have been in more fights, both growing up and after, than most people here. I admit they have become much rarer since I grew to full size, which is big. And I agree that they never feel like you might think they would, that they're usually over before you are aware of it and then you get your adrenaline and, in my case, often have to control shaking. I think if you were "spoiling for a fight" that you'd already have been keyed up, but they usually take me by surprise.
A woman once grew so angry with me that she attacked me, with her hands, with what she could pick up, with what she could throw. I was probably not in much danger — although I had to keep ducking — but the shock of the attack was one of the worst and most frightening experiences of my life. So much for the ease of intimacy, which I admit is usual with me. But that was not the only time, nor was she the only woman, of whom I became afraid; maybe the cat treeing the bear is a good analogy.
I don't need to win a fight, I just need to get away. That, I'm pretty sure I can do.
That's exactly right. Too often people look at women's self defense training as a waste because they figure they won't win a fight with a male. But it's not about going toe to toe. It's about escape.
A woman once grew so angry with me that she attacked me
This reminds me that I should qualify my earlier statement. I've had a couple of women get violent with me, but in neither case did it seem like a serious threat, what with having ~80 pounds and half of feet on each.
half of feet on each.
No wonder they got violent with you standing on them.
A woman once grew so angry with me that she attacked me, with her hands, with what she could pick up, with what she could throw
ATM? Inappropriate?
151: I thought he meant he had half a foot in his hand, and could fend her off with it.
I got into a fight once in high school. Or, more accurately, two guys were fighting, and I intervened because the one who was losing and getting choked was my best friend. (This didn't do much for his manly reputation, on the other hand, he wasn't choked, so he was gracious about it.)
It was over pretty quick. The adrenaline rush afterward (or is it an adrenaline release?) alone seems like a reason to get in more fights, though. It was kinda.. fun?
half of feet
Jesus. I should slow down on the wine.
Do I get to plug my favorite site, psfights.com, now?
I haven't been in any fights as an adult, but a couple of weeks ago, my mom dropped me off somewhere and before she drove away, someone came up behind her and honked at her. I threw down my bag in the middle of the street, went up to his window and screamed my head off. I was legitimately angry, not making a show, and he was kind of freaked out. All in all, a very satisfying experience. I don't even want to think about how good it would have felt to actually hit him.
Do I get to plug my favorite site, psfights.com, now?
No, you're banned.
But the category "guys I feel safe with" is men and women I could take and also nice men and women. Why not exclude everyone else?
I don't care much what other people think of my realism. I have an opinion based on years of watching competitors, and that opinion will probably never be tested. So I don't expect to be proved wrong and that's practically the same as being right.
Completely inappropriate, which most people came to accept, although in the meantime I learned hard lessons about presumptions, expectations, trust and friendship from the people I was then closest to. And the incongruity was such — as was the difference in size — that everybody assumed there must be some fault in me. I thought so to, at the time, although I don't now. Many people came around about it after she trashed my room while I was gone.
I'm gonna kick your ass too, probably Megan.
Eight whole pounds? And they're taking one out? You know where to find me.
The adrenaline rush afterward (or is it an adrenaline release?) alone seems like a reason to get in more fights, though. It was kinda.. fun?
Can be. Aside from obvious not fun things like getting hit, things like your hands turning colors and ballooning up the next day can kind of suck.
Where the hell is that thread about fighting five-year-olds?
Here's the thing we linked to; I can't find the post here, but it wasn't as good as the original thread anyway.
165: They're small but fiesty.
The closest I came to a fight in school was being hit in the head by a rock thrown by another third-grader who I now think was trying to flirt with me. The only thing I've hit in anger in the last...oh, five years was the hood of a car that nearly ran me over. If my instinctual aversion for everything and everyone that seem violent doesn't protect me, and if running doesn't work, eh, I'm toast.
And I second the greatness of psfights.com. Most of the participants appear to be students of the windmill school.
>Size matters a lot; experience matters more.
In a fair fight, size matters a lot given anything like similarity of experience. This is the basis for weight classes (often very narrow) in almost all competitive fighting arts. And I suspect weight will typically underpredict the strength difference between men and women.
In an unfair fight, size matters a lot less. In the sense that if you hit someone with a baseball bat when they aren't looking, you pretty much have that one won. Conclusion: to feel equal in intimate settings with a larger/stronger partner, spend some time visualizing ambushing them with a crowbar.
re: 145
Of course, but 'getting away' wasn't the question at issue, surely? When someone says they could win a fight against some other person I don't interpret that to mean they could run away from them? And, of course, as others have said, getting away is the key thing as a matter of self-defence.
re: 159
I don't mean to be a dick, and feel free to ignore me, but having a *belief* in some ability that won't actually be tested isn't the same thing as actually *having* that ability, right? It may not actually matter, from a practical point of view, but it's clearly not remotely the same thing.
Incidentally, none of this is to say that there's anything wrong with not wanting to date someone who you think could kick your arse. Seems a fair enough preference to have.
re: 164
The adrenaline rush totally sucks. Nothing worse than shaking and being on the verge of tears (maybe that's just me) despite actually having had the upper-hand in some unpleasant/violent situation.
gswift, I had a majorette baton. It's all about the weapons upgrade.
When I was twelve or thirteen, I was at some evangelical youth group party and they had a martial arts instructor guy demonstrating stuff and advertising his club while doing so.
Anyhow, so he asked for volunteers for a self-defense demonstration and he picked some sixteen-year-old kid and me. He gave the kid a wooden mock knife and said 'Okay, attack her.' I think there was supposed to be an object lesson and something about what to do, and I was supposed to stand there, but the kid lunged at me, and I grabbed his hand, sidestepped, pulled him forward, and tripped him.
I think we were supposed to be learning something about watching the knife or getting someone to drop the knife. I like my way better.
Ah, here's the Unfogged thread on fighting five-year-olds.
How many kids if you have a crowbar, ogged?
Nothing worse than shaking and being on the verge of tears (maybe that's just me)
No, Tim too.
176: Jeebus, ogged. Must be that hot Iranian blood of yours. Maybe we should nuke 'em.
I think nuking the five-year-olds would be a bit of a cheat, Tim.
164: there is an adreneline rush, but more importantly, there's a sense of security / confidence instilled inside of you that you can handle yourself. This doesn't make you want to run out and go around beating people up at random, but rather makes you feel a little safer in the world. Of course, as other have said in other ways, you can't punch back when a bullet in your head so this sense of security is somewhat illusional.
180: But they're like chicken wings - you can never have just one, and they're all skin and bone anyway.
Size matters a lot; experience matters more.
So true.
Oh, wait.
I'm 6'3" and clock in between 215 and 225, probably. (It's been a long time since I weighed myself, and I've lost weight since then.) I have never been in a fight, and never want to be. I don't live in fear of it, I just don't think it would be enjoyable at all. The closest I ever got was slapping a guy in 7th grade - and I mean slapping, open-handed, with a loud clap noise. With that one slap I won and I felt terrible about it. And yes, we later both came out of the closet.
I did once get to be The Heavy when throwing a different drunk stranger out of a different party at the same fraternity house, several years later, but I didn't have to talk, much less touch the guy. I honestly don't think I could have brought myself to do it. Actually, come to think of it, I was The Heavy in a number of situations in college. Still, never had to lift a finger and probably would have squealed if I did.
Also, 163 is probably the funniest fucking thing I'll read this month.
Robust McManlyPants? When did Harvey Mansfield start posting at this blog?
Wait a second. In light of Megan's clarification-- big guys have to show they are nice--I think this is perfectly sane. Her further elaboration the category "guys I feel safe with" is men and women I could take and also nice men and women. makes perfect sense to me: isn't it generally true for all of us that we feel safe with (1) people who we don't feel physically threatened by (most 5-year olds) and (2) people who are "nice," i.e., non-threatening?
184: I think the problem is that in LizardBreath's post on this site she didn't mention that factor (2) could stand on its own. It seemed to me as if she was saying that she couldn't be friends with someone she couldn't beat up, even if that person seemed nice.
Now that she's showed up here in the comments, of course, she is completely reasonable.
Jesus, didn't anybody read the linked post? She explained all this stuff there.
I said up front I didn't read it, so nyah.
You say "nyah" a lot for a grown woman.
I assumed that you might have read it at some point during the following eight hours of discussion.
I clicked through and read Megan's post, and I get the same impression LB does. Megan says she'll give tall guys a chance if they seem to be gentle, but acknowledges that she's unlikely to spend enough time with someone she doesn't think she could take in a fight to give them a chance to get past the wariness.
I think the only proper response to 188 is "nuh-uh".
I'm pretty sure most of these are yours, B.
They probably are, Ogged. Sue me. You know my provenance.
The problem vis a vis a size and weight differential isn't so much one of who would win in an all out fight. In an all out fight, if either party knows what they are doing, the fight will be over very quickly. The problem is in fights where you need to win, but not risk killing or permanantly maiming your opponent. In those fights, size and weight are a huge advantage, easily enough to outweigh skill. Obviously, at some level skill again becomes the determining, and there is something to be said for speed as well, but size allows you to control the fight and absorb significantly more damage.
matt, if those are really your measurements, we don't have to beat you up - just tip you over!
(can i say, the france/togo match last night was fun, but what is up with a goalie getting a yellow card)
re: 197
You'd be surprised. I'm not particularly spherical, just carrying an extra 20lbs or so.
http://static.flickr.com/50/157316756_e19da3822c_o.jpg
Yeah, I felt sorry for Togo. And South Korea. It's always a shame when teams who play with some passion and verve go out because they meet tedious but tactically adept opposition.
I am consistently fascinated to see pictures of commenters here, because they so rarely match the mental pictures I have of everybody. Ogged was the only one who looked like I had imagined him.
You've seen a picture of ogged here?
And I still say we need different names for the comments evenly divisible by 100. 100 is Kobe, 200 is . . .
there is clearly an implied "under the rules of tae kwon do" in there.
actual conversation in a rugby club which defused a potentially tough situation:
"as a last resort in a fight, would you try to blind someone or bite their ear off?"
"yes I fucking would"
"well that's my first fucking resort, now do you want to put your shirt back on or not?"
Shorter 199: Pretty much all Mexicans look alike to me.
"well that's my first fucking resort, now do you want to put your shirt back on or not?"
Was this some sort of dispute over wearing team colors?
re: 203
My dad tells a story from his time in the army which may, or may not, be apocryphal. It sounds a bit too 'Karate Kid' to be true, but he swears it happened.
One of the guys from his regiment was a karate black-belt and, I think, the Welsh champion. This is in the late 60s when karate wasn't as widespread as it is now and also when training methods were a damn sight more savage than they generally are now.
Anyway, they are visiting another regiment with whom there is some 'friendly' rivalry. After the sporting fixture, or whatever it was, some of the guys from the other regiment come in to the locker room trying to start a fight.
The Welsh guy -- who is not a big guy -- is trying to talk things down but the other guys are having none of it. Are bragging about how they are going to kill them, etc. So he turns round without saying a word and punches one of the locker doors. Hard.
The locker door completely buckles inwards like a piece of silver foil with a great big fist shaped depression in it. He turns, and looks.
The other guys quietly file out of the locker room and nothing more is said.
For all that I would probably faint if I had to hit anyone, I think Matt's dad is just wicked hot.
Or, rather, the other guy. You know what I mean. Mr. Karate McHotness.
I wonder what apo thinks I look like.
OT: Can someone point me to the first appearance of the Clownaenesthesiologist? Who wass/he in a past life? I think I might know, but I'm feeling stupid this evening and would love to have someone spell it out for me.
I wonder what apo thinks I look like.
Hairy.
Okay, I have to admit that is absolutely nothing like I imagined you.
Yeah, in my head you looked more Mediterranean.
Here's one of me, I hope this works. I think I'm actually about 10 points heavier than this by now unfortunately.
Actually I'm probably not any heavier now, I was just stretching in that picture. It's flattering.
Dammit, it worked fine for me.
Well I can't find any others that wouldn't give away my identity, so never mind. I don't feel like setting up a Flickr thing tonight.
Actually I look very similar to teofilo except with slightly lighter and straighter hair. And I'm about 6'1", 210, I think he looks smaller than that.
216: In all honesty, I imagined you being much less attractive, because of something you said on my blog once about there being "other reasons" one doesn't date much, and I inferred that you were implying that you thought you were hideous or something.
If you copy and paste Ned's link, it works. I too was imagining you, Teofilo, as darker, rounder, less homicidal. You know, Jewish.
Hey Ned, may I ask what was wrong with the piece nearest you? Or were you reaching for a dip?
See, Ned looks pretty much like I thought he would, at least as far as I can tell from that picture.
I was under the impression that Jewish people have lived, and many still live, around the Mediterranean.
See, Ned looks pretty much like I thought he would, at least as far as I can tell from that picture.
It's not forbidden to you????
Only one of my grandparents was born Jewish.
B: Yeah, that comment was meant to be more about probability of meeting women or something, but then you responded jokingly and I decided to just play along.
As per Ogged's instructions, I copied & pasted the link, et voila.
227: Those are white chocolate chip cookies; I think the one closest to me was broken.
229: My Jewish people have not lived anywhere near the Mediterranean in a long time (if ever).
I basically imagined all the male people here looking like me, except that I imagined Ogged looking sort of short and round, like his name.
So far Teofilo looks like me, and Matt McGrattan doesn't. 1 for 2.
Also, I imagine all the women to look like Rachel Weisz.
232: Well, your playing along led me to think that you were morbidly obese and had, like, some kind of hideous skin disease or something.
I imagine that I look a bit different than pretty much everyone around here.
I imagine that I look a bit different than pretty much everyone around here.
You don't look like Rachel Weisz? My system is falling apart.
I admit that I don't really have a clear idea of what eb might look like.
I'm pretty sure he doesn't look like Rachel Weisz, though.
I admit that I don't really have a clear idea of what eb might look like.
Yes, we need more than two letters to go on.
Hm. So eb, do you have green skin or something?
It's the third eye that people find off-putting, but that's nothing a little punch from the four-fingered second hand on the sixth arm can't take care of.
I imagine you all as looking like 47-year-old balding men.
(Really, I thought teofilo was one of you old people.)
Some folks posted pictures when we did Frappr. Some of them are even of the people who posted them.
248: Ah. Yeah, and socks would tend to chafe. I see the problem. Ha ha! Geddit? See?
I imagine this no longer quite describes L today.
I imagine this no longer quite describes L today.
I still perceive her that way, but Miegs has convinced me.
249: So washerdreyer does look like Rachel Weisz, I feel better now.
Also, apparently teofilo, myself, Matt McGrattan and Matt Weiner all have blue eyes.
I perceived "eb" as a woman because I think elizabeth is the most common name that starts with "e".
"L" is just a unit of British money, gender-neutral.
You really should read the archives, Ned. A lot of this stuff's been covered.
You can't "read" the "archives". There's a lot of stuff in there.
All you can do is hope for a link to an earlier thread.
When you get that link, though, you should read the whole thread, no matter how long. That's what I did to get where I am today.
There's a lot of stuff in there.
Material, we're calling it.
I've suddenly started commenting on this site constantly. And you know why? It's mainly to avoid writing an incredibly important paper that I had set a goal for myself to have done by Thursday night. I'm going to take a break, not that it matters.
(Really, I thought teofilo was one of you old people.)
I have in fact mentioned my exact age here.
to avoid writing an incredibly important paper
Hey, me too!
Yes. We're having a compressed summer school session to make up for getting screwed in the fall.
Your exact age: 74?
Ah, makes sense. And no, I said I have mentioned my exact age.
And by "exact" I mean "to the day."
Strangely enough, "teofilo mentions his exact age" turns up no google hits. And there's a lot of stuff material in the archives. Despair!
Still, I'm sure someone around here is keeping a database of all our disclosed personal information. (Farber? w-lfs-n?) Hey everybody, how old is teofilo?
I imagined Ogged looking sort of short and round
Ogged is tall and thin.
re: 249
My frappr picture is probably more representative of how I normally look than the black and white one above -- where my hair is cut really short and makes my face look rounder and my head balder than it actually is.
http://www.frappr.com/unfogged/photo/243037
Although I am about 15lbs lighter there.
Man, not much variety around here. I'm yet another white dude.
Hey B-Girl, did I end up being who you thought I was?
Yup. I'm not sure why you decided to change your name, though. Will you still refer to the Modesto Mom, the Modesto wife and the Modesto Youngster?
(My preferred nickname is BG.)
Gwift and teofilo are both purty. I look like Bitchphd.
BG: I have not yet come up with new nicknames for my relatives and associates -- it's all so new. I was getting bored of the old pseud and then I suggested on a clown-related thread over at 'Postra Fari's place, that I would strongly consider a career change if there was a legitimate path open to becoming a clown-anæsthesiologist -- suddenly it all clicked into place. I find deeply appealing the idea of being paid to put people to sleep with my bufoonery.
You're the Modesto Kid? You gotta tell us when this shit happens!
278: You mean to tell me that you don't read every comment at Unfogged? I'm shocked, shocked.
I knew who clown was. Pay attention, people.
Tia, I wonder if we still look alike now that my hair is completely different. Hm.
Man, how did I totally miss the Frappr activities?!
Everybody's so cute.
I checked that Frappr link, and who on earth is Bessie?
mcmc had the best pic.
And how did Matt Weiner come to be in possession of my cat, Mumkin?! Compare.
And someone used to post here under his real name, initials JO. Who is he now?
Frappr isn't as useful here as some places because so many people have undisclosed locations.
What? Vox Day didn't really do this, did he?
Joe O is still around, he just doesn't comment much.
???? ?? ???????
Surprised that Teofilo knows Arabic. Though perhaps it's mentioned in the archives material, and I haven't read all those threads...
The sleep-inducing clown also posted with a JO name for a while.
?? ????? ???
I'm not sure if it's been mentioned before, actually. I know I have done some joke Arabic commenting.
I don't even know how to write arabic on the internets. You are so spiffy.
Aha. I think that's it. It wasn't Joe O I was thinking of.
In light of cross-post with 292, "you" s/b "y'all."
?? ????? ?? ????????
Who were your joke Arabic comments aimed at?!
295: It's actually not that hard. This looks like a useful resource; you can also just use Windows Help (assuming, of course, that you use Windows). The hardest part is getting used to the keyboard layout.
Tia, I wonder if we still look alike now that my hair is completely different. Hm.
It's weird how different hair can totally change someone's look. A couple summers ago I decided to try my hair long before I got too old and bald to even make the attempt.
"Pretty" is the word my wife would use to amuse my girls. "Dad has such pretty long hair", and then they would all laugh themselves silly, the little weasels.
????? ?????
(Now there's a good way to safeguard an identity!)
There was a thread (which I can't seem to find) where people started leaving comments in other writing systems, so I did my part.
Ooh, you did have pretty long hair.
Luckily, PK still hasn't realized that it's supposedly funny to say boys are pretty.
Nothing like good old public school to teach him all that. At least these days long hair on guys isn't that uncommon. Although I grew up in L.A. and maybe that skews my perceptions a bit.
re: 300 and 298
I had my hair long as a teenager. Somewhat dorky picture: http://www.mcgrattan.f2s.com/hairbro.jpg
Now that is some wicked awesome glam rock hair.
You look kinda like Brooke Shields.
OMG, Matt, that's brilliant--you have the same hair my husband does when he grows his long.
Thank you, DA. also, your Mumkin is a dead ringer for my Frank.
re: 303
Circa 1989 -- while technically not actually old enough to drink in the bars we played in -- I used to wear make-up and preen while playing guitar in a crappy glam-rock band. Happy memories!
I'm not linking a picture, but for anyone who knows my name and hasn't met me, it pops right up on Google Images.
Huh, so it does. You're as easy to google as I am.
Buck's name. It's weird enough on its own. Hyphenate it, and I'm unique.
As I expected, a google image search of my name yields nothing.
I wonder what impact google will have on the names people pick for their kids. PK is gonna be as easy to google as I am--maybe I should have thought about that!
I doubt it'll have much effect; some people like unusual names, other people don't, and I suspect google will just reinforce those preferences.
Well, I like unusual names, but being super easy to google isn't generally a good thing. I suppose I'll definitely have to teach PK not to use his real name on teh internets, so as to maintain its pristine integrity for when he grows up and has some kind of professional image to maintain.
My picture would be up online but I signed a release saying they could use only my name. Not that you could find it googling eb anyway.
I have a totally unique name too. Anxiety about my googlability keeps me out of trouble.
Well gee, eb, what with your freakish deformations, I can certainly understand why you'd want to keep your picture offline.
282: Why are you letting a dog sniff Allie? She doesn't like dogs!
306: "Frank"? I thought a cat that looked like that had to be a girl.
Google image of my name yields one pretty crap picture of me along with a bunch of other people; and you can't tell which one is me without clicking through to the main page, unless you have advance information. This is the only acceptable picture of me up on the net, I think (I've linked it before). Though in light of 253 some picture of me must be accessible.
Like, duh, I used it for Frappr. Usually I use this.
Allie's very much like my Peace Corps cat Harley, except for the vertical black/orange division down the center of her nose.
Re: 302.
Matt used to have Dr. Oops's hair, back before she went gray. Very metal hair-band.
Calico cats are awesome, not least because John Ashcroft thinks they're evil.
No one has explained to me who the "Bessie" on Frappr is.
The calico pattern has to do with varying expression of the X chromosome. Basically, only one X chromosome is expressed in the cell, and the other is largely inert. Under a microscope you can see the inert chromosome, called a Barr Body. The deactivation takes place early on in development, and all subsequent cells in that line will have the same X chromosome deactivated. The inital deactivation is fairly random. So if you get a female cat with say, a copy of the gene for the orange colorization (which happens to be on the X chromosome), but only has the gene on one chromosome, you end up with what looks like random patches of orange fur. Male cats that are calico have at least one extra X chromosome, and are XXY, or XXXY, aka Klinefelter's syndrome
Gswift, I'm kind of relieved that, based at least on the photo evidence, you don't seem to be related to me in any immediate way. I was starting to worry. If your family goes Mormon back more than three generations, though, we've probably intermarried at some point (a brother-in-law of mine could indeed be related), but, phew, at least you're not a second cousin.
Don't laugh, everyone else. It's totally possible.
My cat has calico color in tabby markings and little white feet and is batshit insane (which has little to do with her appearance, but there it is.)
I don't know who Bessie is. I think only Bessie may know.
I think our cats are tortoiseshells, and I have heard that it is correlated with batshit insanity.
Oh, and here a link to a picture of myself I'm willing to have online. Not very revealing, for now.
I look like Bitchphd.
Is there a picture of B on that frappr page? 'Cause I don't see it.
And yay!!! Pictures! How fun. We have more blondish guys than I thought.
And I? I am the original 47-year-old balding man. Accept no imitations!
What do you consider blondish? Do I count?
#326
That would be funny. No Mormons on my dad's side, he's never been a member. On my mom's side they're mostly around Springville, primarily with the name Condie. The common middle initial is P., as in Richard P. Condie, conductor of the Tabernacle choir from 1957-1974. So if you're related to any "P. Condie" types, we're likely distantly related.
333: Okay, good. I don't consider myself even vaguely blondish. Although I was blond as a little kid.
No, you don't, teo, but your handle has always made me think that you're Hispanic anyway. But you're not.
Well, Mumkin is batshit insane.
Twice she almost set the apartment on fire.
The first time, she was lying on her kitty blanket on top of the fridge; when she jumped off, she land on the lever on the toaster, depressing it, while simultaneously dragging the blanket with her. Blanket landed on top of the toaster and started smoking.
The second time, ex had left a fishsticks box on top of the stove, overlapping a burner. Mumkin walked on the stove, and when she jumped off she somehow managed to turn the burner on. Which was no mean feat, given that you have to turn the dial and push it in for more than a second.
Alarming.
My batshit cat tries to bat candle flames.
But you're not.
I'm also not you, despite the disconcertingly large body of evidence pointing in that direction.
I was much blonder as a kid. When really young I had big blonde ringlets. And my wife is very naturally blonde, still almost as blonde as my kids. But from looking at her childhood pics, my kids are already darker than she was at the same age.
I did a very cursory genealogical search, and so far we've not yet related, gswift. I'm not really convinced yet, though. Um, how shall I put this, did your family ever cross with Hyrum's line?
Allie is not actually batshit insane, I would claim. Remarkable for her ability to stay quiet for long hours in the carrier, once you've got her in (and after the first move from Pittsburgh to Salt Lake, where she spent the first four hours imitating a drunk taking apart a holding cell).
Psst, Matt. That just means she's batshit to the point of exhaustion.
(Whereas my cat has an inexhaustible renewable resource of batshit.)
I did a very cursory genealogical search, and so far we've not yet related, gswift. I'm not really convinced yet, though. Um, how shall I put this, did your family ever cross with Hyrum's line?
Beats me, I haven't really looked that far back. My mom might know that.
If she permanently exhausted her batshit reserves with the first big move, I remain content.
Your children are adorable, gswift.
Thanks, I think so. My mom is dying for me to have more. I, however, think it's time for a vasectomy. So anyone who wants to get ahold of my man juice better do it quick. I can't guarantee dimples every time like my younger one, but hey, it's possible.
Mumkin's sister Mish Mish is much mellower (how's that for alliteration?), but then there's this.
Thankfully my cat is too lazy to get into any trouble. Just sleeps and pesters people to brush him.
That's my branch of the tree, gswift, the one I'm guessing you're not in. Forget about it. We're probably fourth cousins thrice removed by some measurement, so hi, cousin! You have some cute daughters there!
As for the cat-people: my impression is that only the completely snobbish actually insist on having bred cats, whereas the majority of dog people find justifications for buying dogs from a breeder. Is that so? And, if so, why?
330: No, nor my location. I'm paranoid, remember?
My mom is starting the 'if you get a job somewhere near [hometown] I could, if you wanted, babysit if you had kids and then you could have your career and babies and did i mention babies and how you could have them?' routine.
It's not too intense yet, but I imagine once the Calalittlestsister moves on to college, it will be nearly nonstop.
Although here's one of my cat, my forehead, and the hair I had six years ago.
As for the cat-people: my impression is that only the completely snobbish actually insist on having bred cats, whereas the majority of dog people find justifications for buying dogs from a breeder. Is that so? And, if so, why?
Is this true? All my family's animals are strays and mutts, so I don't have any personal experience, but it does seem odd.
You rock, Teofilo!
I was thinking -- you, me, and Silvana (once she learns to type in Arabic) can totally pass secret notes in the comments threads, make fun of the other commenters and whatnot...and no one will understand us! It'll be like that special ringtone that only teenagers can hear!
351: I'm no expert, but my impression from having had purebred dogs and 'American Domestic Shorthair' cats is that breeding deficiencies in dogs tend to be more severe (hip dysplasia, psychosis, aggression) than those in cats. A reputable breeder can ensure that there's no problem.
Plus, it's not like having a purebred cat is actually going to make the little batshit fucker trainable.
OMG, gswift's kids are indeed highly photogenic.
357: Thanks! I was thinking that too, and you'll notice I've already revealed more personal information in Arabic than I ever have in English. I'm kind of out of practice, though, what with it being summer and all.
True indeed, as is gswift.
On the dog thing, I think people buy purebreds because they think that buying from a reputable breeder is a guarantee of a predictable personality/temperment, and because temperment is so much more important in a dog than a cat. A batshit crazy cat is sort of funny, even if annoying, but a crazy dog has to be put down. DogBreath isn't terribly big (45lbs?), but she can crack a cow femur into pieces with her jaw -- if she ever tried to hurt us, we couldn't have her in the house. My mother's old cat, on the other hand, tried to slaughter her several times a week but just didn't quite have the mass to make it work.
I think this is mostly a poor reason to get a bred dog versus a mutt -- training's more important than breeding -- but I also think that's why people do it.
See, if you knew Arabic, you would know that I've already answered that question.
(I study it in school. Nothing exciting.)
?????? .??? ????? ??? ???? ???? ????? ???? ????.
And gswift: beautiful children.
361: I think the availability of kittens is also relevant: when my family decided to get a dog, it was a decision. When we decided to get a cat, it was mostly a matter of whichever calasister saw the kitten of the barn cat or of the friend's cat and voilà, we have a kitten. Finding a stray puppy would have required a lot more effort.
Ack. Extra aleph in there where it doesn't belong.
But seriously -- very impressive that you can type, teofilo. I know tons of people who speak it well but can't type it.
363 - No, it's very cool. I had some friends take it in school but they didn't get anywhere near proficient. You must have taken it for a while.
365: That too. There are enough self-supporting stray cats out there that kittens just happen. There aren't a lot of feral dogs, so a puppy comes from either a breeder, or some idiot who didn't spay their pet. These days when spaying is so conventional, a non-spayer is a real idiot, which means there's a good chance the puppies were maltreated or neglected, which brings us back to the fact that you really, really don't want a crazy dog in your house.
Do you find you understand things you see on TV or in pictures? Stuff written on placards and stuff? I've often wondered if information altering what pictures are said to mean is evident if only I knew.
What do you mean in 369, IDP? I'm hoping you don't mean that you think people on TV or in pictures are holding up signs that only you understand.
Because of the simultaneous conversation about dogs and cats, the meaning of signs in Arabic was what I was referring to. I do sometimes have knowledge, for instance of military equipment, that contradicts captions.
I assume he's talking about Arabic language protests -- is the media reporting on demonstrations and describing them as 'murderous jihadis calling for the obliteration of the West', when the Arabic language placards on screen all call for an increase in the funding for public libraries.
I thought everyone just went to the pound when they wanted a new pet.
Is there distortion? Sure! (sorry, Bridgeplate, for channeling Rumsfeld.) Ogged had a good post about this (too lazy to look for it) where a reporter referred to someone in Afghanistan as "Baba Jan", where "Baba" is a term of endearment.
Often I find when I listen to NPR they'll play audio in Arabic and the English translation is clearly from a different part of the recording.
373: I did for my batshit cat. (Other batshit cats were all pre-pound kitties.) I don't know if I would for a dog, because, as LB said, a dog that has personality problems can cause many more problems than a cat who is batshit.
371 & 372 - OK, that makes so much more sense. Whew! I was beginning to worry...
My mom is starting the 'if you get a job somewhere near [hometown] I could, if you wanted, babysit if you had kids and then you could have your career and babies and did i mention babies and how you could have them?' routine.
That's awesome. And it's definitely going to intensify.
I'm actually nowhere near proficient; da's 364 is straining the limits of my comprehension, especially now that it's summer and I no longer have classes. I'm actually not very good at reading and writing--the program at my school (unusually for Arabic programs) starts off emphasizing the spoken language, so I can often understand quite a bit of overheard conversation. When I saw Syriana I could tell when the terrorist guys would switch from Urdu to Arabic. Signs, not so much--they usually have a lot of technical/regional vocabulary that I don't know. I can get the basics, though.
Yeah, yeah, cute kids. But I want to know what is exploding behind them.
I thought everyone just went to the pound when they wanted a new pet.
When we were looking at dogs when we first bought the house, I tried to get a german sheperd puppy from one of those adoption places. But their terms were the dog had to have the run of the entire house. She claimed that it was cruel to have a dog be outside and/or restricted to the kitchen/dining room area. Seriously. So I looked somewhere else, and was told the same thing. Apparently it was better to risk having to gas the dog than it was to have it come home to the torture of being an only pet in my fenced yard, with a covered deck, and a bed in the garage. Those people are fucking nuts.
Apo apparently doesn't read captions.
Yeah, it's really very cute. Moreso when you consider how traditional my mom is in every way except when it comes to her daughters' ambitions. A sort of stay-at-home-mom-is-best-except-you're-going-to-be-a-professor why-would-you-want-to-stay-at-home-you've-worked-so-hard.
Or maybe it's just that if I were a stay-at-home mom, she'd be deprived of potential hypothetical grandchild time. (But no, no, she is too young to be a grandmother.)
Yeah, yeah, cute kids. But I want to know what is exploding behind them.
That's Old Faithful. Pic is from last summer's trip to Yellowstone.
380: Aren't those places usually no-kill?
Teofilo: have you thought of doing Middlebury? It's psychologically punishing, but good for your language skills.
I have to admit that it had not occurred to me before that most parts of the country are not teeming with stray dogs. It makes sense, though.
Where 'Old Faithful' is 'Dadddddyyy, I think there's a little proooblemmmm.' [cherubcheeked grin]
I think I'd prefer an overseas program.
Cala, don't trust in the exceptions. My oldest sister decided to stay home--and my mother is oh-so-thoroughly-involved. My second sister is geographically inconvenient, and a post-doc scholar, but mom is still involved, as best as she can. And the four grandchildren she already has doesn't entirely stop the pressure on me.
Teofilo: If you're really serious, you should strive to get into the CASA program. Best Arabic program anywhere.
I'm not sure I'm quite that serious. But thanks.
Aren't those places usually no-kill?
Yeah, probably. I think the first one I tried was no kill, but not sure about the second.
Is there distortion? Sure! (sorry, Bridgeplate, for channeling Rumsfeld.)
I don't know why this is addressed to me.
Because somebody once did the "ask oneself a question, answer it onself" and you objected. I forget where.
Argh. "onself" should be "oneself." Obviously.
Apo apparently doesn't read captions.
Because they're all lies, of course.
Because somebody once did the "ask oneself a question, answer it onself" and you objected.
Oh, wait, I remember that now. If memory serves, that somebody was doing it unironically, which was the problem. Rumsfeld parodies are fine.
???? ???? ???! ??? ??? ?? ????? ??? ????
Is anyone else completely unable to see the Arabic writing? I thought 286 etc. were Friday secret keeping.
I would just like to annouce that it took me about ten minutes to compose 298. I am a pathetic excuse for an Arab.
By the way, it's wizard cocksucker that you're learning to type Arabic.
403 - I can't see it on the RSS feed but can on the web page. Using one of those inferior Mac browsers again, Weiner?
DA, reading your blog has made me start seriously lamenting my poor Arabic skills/lack of knowledge about my country. I think I'm going to try and see if I can take a class this fall. It's ironic, because I can speak decently and with a (so I'm told) perfect accent, but I can't read or write for shit.
That is, I'm aliterate.
I'm using Safari, it reads just fine. Becks. Thpppbbb.
Heh.
A lawyer with Arabic skills? Seriously important.
" ????? s/b ????? ??????"
Should that be "????? bs ????? ??????"?
407: Safari 1.3.2. I miss my laptop.
Not to be a pedant (well, yes, to be a pedant), ????? ??????" s/b "???? ?????"
That still has the mixed-mode problem.
No, I don't know my h's for shit. You're right.
I would like to add, in my defense, that this night marks the inauguration of my trying to actually communicate in writing in Arabic. I learned all the characters and stuff, but I never really got to the "writing stuff down" stage.
Huh? You smoked ????? ten times today?
417: ?? ??????
That word makes me laugh. Also, did I use the hamza correctly?
Your subtlety is too subtle for me.
Also, my follow-up comment (consisting of not much more than "hooray!") was deemed 'forbidden' by the comment gods. Where, oh where, did my javascript go?
No hamza in ??. And your spelling of ????? assures me that the answer to 420 (heh) is "yes."
(On preview, I see that I was correct.)
s/b ?? ?????
You smoked three times? I'd say you're doing pretty damn good.
I'm going straight phonetic, man. Y'all, like, know fuz'ha and shit.
426: I'm really not; we've only barely begun to transition to Fusha. And we're learing Levantine, so I don't understand all your stuff.
Also, your ?'s look very strange to me, like they belong to a different font. Do they come out right for you?
This has been a truly enlightening experience.
Listen, people, given that this is a language that reads right to left, all your "s/b"s should be "bs"s. Can't you understand that?
Those comments are written in English and go left to right.
427: No, I think I've been using the wrong character. For some reason, I've been using the dotless feh instead of the dotted one.
And in re: lack of understanding, are you referring to 401?
Yes, w-lfs-n, but given that the incorrect word is the leftmost and the correct one the rightmost, it makes more sense to leave it as s/b.
Also, side question: how long are you going to be in Berlin?
Also parts of 398 (although that may be due to the wrong-character thing). And it's been a while since I've read any Arabic, so I may just be forgetting stuff.
It's probably because I can't fucking spell and/or am making shit up.
Funny to think, as someone who takes spelling very seriously, that I have misspelled things all over this thread.
The real question, has this thread been read by NSA yet? If not, then by golly I'm going to get them over there.
Osama, flight school, ammonium nitrate.
That is all.
OK, the weirdest thing about the Arabic is that when I copy and paste it somewhere, it reverses the arrow keys on my computer so that when I press my left arrow key, it moves the cursor right and vice versa.
Also, side question: how long are you going to be in Berlin?
As long as you need me, baby.
Assuming you don't need me past August 31st.
I'm going to be there August 5-12, so, no.
It's written right-to-left, Becks. The computer knows this.
I should so go to bed. I have to work tomorrow.
Yes, w-lfs-n, but given that the incorrect word is the leftmost and the correct one the rightmost, it makes more sense to leave it as s/b.
That should be changed as well, of course. As things go you read a word r-to-l, then l-to-r, then r-to-l again. That's craziness!
Yes, but I would think you would still want the arrow keys on the computer to work in their traditional ways because right is right and left is left, no matter which way you're writing. I can see it switching the behavior of "Home" and "End" but not the arrow keys.
442: Yeah, I suppose. But that doesn't seem all that weird to me given that numbers in Arabic are written left-to-right, and words right-to-left, so there is frequent mental switching employed.
I need to go to bed, but I'm so up. I went to the Hopleaf tonight. Good beer I had:
1) Leffe Blonde
2) Triple Karmeliet
3) Kwak
Yum.
I guess "left arrow" = "before" and "right arrow" = "after" are so deeply ingrained in the minds of software developers that they don't bother to change them. You're right, it is odd, now that I think about it.
I should go to bed, too, but I'm waiting for something to happen.
Okay, I'm going to bed now for real. It's raining particularly hard, which is the perfect atmosphere for sleep, and I must seize this opportunity.
430 gets it exactly right.
435: Why bother? They can't read this stuff even if they use Safari.
don't use Safari. I'm going to go bother a wallaby now.
So a question: should commenting while stoned be referred to as:
a) silvana style?
b) apo style?
c) alameida's mom style?
d) fogged?
Explain.
I vote for (a), because silvana's a regular, I think the term "apo style" should be reserved for commenting while topless, (c) is inelegant (the phrase, not the person), and (d) is too generic. Um, what was the question again?
You're one sick pippet!
"apo style" is actually just a synonym for "porky piggin' it".
458: Of course!
Don't know what I was thinkin'.
I don't like the picture of myself in the Frappr thread, it was just (as I believe I explained there) the most recent digital picture of me that I'd received. For one thing, I'm not usually drunk. On the other hand, someone else in the picture distracts from me.
I like the picture of w/d. That chick he's with is totally hawt too.
Oh damn, got distracted. What I meant to say was that here's a story that not even Gary Farber has reported on yet.
Is s/ck p/ppet another commenter who has changed their name from an earlier handle?
I meant to address that to you, s/ck p/ppet.
463- washerdreyer commenting on how hot he himself is, perhaps?
The relationship, both substantive and typographical, between s/ck's first comment and the comment immediately preceding it, should answer the question.
466 gets is exactly right. 462 provides a clue to this deep mystery as well.
Isn't w/d female? 461 isn't nearly as funny if not.
M/tch, did you miss the part of this thread where we were ogling pictures of various commenters? Duh.
Yes, JM?
Okay, so if w/d is male, then 461 should read:
I like the picture of w/d. That dude she's with is totally hawt too.
M/tch, did you miss the part of this thread where we were ogling pictures of various commenters? Duh.
Is there another picture of washerdreyer besides the one with the two hawt drunk people in it?
236, 253 --> I guess M/tch was not the only one that thought w/d was a hott chick.
I live so close to Tom, I can't even click on my Frappr photo. Which I don't think looks particularly like me.
Well, you do look rather manly in that photo, 'smasher.
Contrary to my photo's implication, I am not actually a cop.
Maybe 'cuz I'm not sporting the beard now. Thanks, M/M/.
That may be it, 'cause you were indeed sporting the beard when I met you. And a good beard it was.
I don't think I've seen any other picture of you besides the bearded one, AS.
And what I meant was that the photo doesn't look particularly like you because the photo is manly whereas you . . .
Oh never mind.
I don't see where you're going with this, M/M/.
See, the beard is the . . . I mean in the photo/i> the . . . I mean you don't . . .
DAMMIT!
