Also "Who's your daddy? Come on, tell me who your daddy is!" works.
walking up to people, asking "who's the boss?," then punching them in the face while saying "Tony fucking Danza!"
The crap Judith Light had to put up with.
Hoff, a falling down drunk? How can that be? Doesn't everyone sever a tendon while shaving?
You know what would be neat? If Alyssa Milano ate a Milano while reading The Mill on the Floss, in Milan.
Angeler!
Tony!
Angeler.
Tony?
Angeler!
Tony! Tony.
I'm not much of a cookie person, but I've gotta say that those cookies are fucking good.
It's a shame they only put, what, three servings in the package.
Bah, Milanos aren't that great. Now the Bordeaux, and the Chessmen, and the Sausalitos, those are great.
In fact, I think we have some Sausalitos in the kitchen. Hmm....
Aren't chessmen just sugar cookies? Milanos, though, I can't make those at home.
I know none of these exotic cookie varieties of which y'all speak
Thanks, B. My joke is RUINED RUINED RUINED. 9 to 7.
Actually chessmen are butter cookies. And all Milanos are is some kind of grainy sugar cookie with melted chocolate sandwiched in between. You could totally make that at home.
Dude, a joke about cannibalism deserves to be ruined. Sicko.
Hmm. I'm thinking weekend project here.
I'm really torn here. Cookies don't go with beer. Which do I want more?
Cookies, milk, water, beer. In that order.
Dude, a joke about cannibalism deserves to be ruined.
Aw, baloney.
Someone needs to invent a kind of alcohol that goes with cookies and yet isn't disgusting.
18: Har har. Admittedly, cannibalism is funnier than Dave Barry.
Chessmen are awesome! You can now get them dipped in chocolate, but these are not as good as those French cookies.
I used to like Mint Milanos a lot, but they're made with partially hdrogenated crap which is sure to contain some sort of trans fatty acid. Chessmen are made with real butter.
Tony Danza has this horrible new talk show which is like a giant infomercial. I've seen it at work a couple of times. Shannon Doherty was on recently which seemed slightly ironic.
I need a cookie-baking philosopher, like I've said before. Even good store-bought cookies are inferior to mediocre home-baked.
See, I think that the "dipped in chocolate" thing is often overkill. Honestly, I don't find the chocolate in those Pepperidge Farm cookies especially good.
Irish coffee, hm, maybe. But then I'd be up all night. I wonder if I can tell myself that whisky goes okay with cookies, as soon as I finish this beer.
I'm sure w-lfs-n would have the perfect answer to your question.
WOOOOLFSOOOOON!
Fuck, 26 is exactly right. Of course, I have none.
I'm currently going for the spice-matching combination of gingersnaps (TJ's) and hefeweizen (homebrewed). They go quite well together.
Also, imperial stouts work with chocolate anything.
Nathan, what is your field of study?
Milanos? No no no. Mint Brussels are much better.
Bitch, I thought you should know that I've been playing with that Pollock thing you linked for over thirty minutes. You are evil!
Amaretto goes well with the right cookie.
I was course 6 (EE/CS) plus some 8 (physics), but I'm several years graduated and in the Working World (tm) these days. I should probably switch to the @alum.mit.edu address to be more clear about that.
Beer was never a formal field of study, although I know plenty of yeast specalists in microbiology...
Great. You know, back when I wasn't encumbered with a kid, I had a good alcohol selection and could easily have accomodated these suggestions. As is, I think I'm fucked.
However, I shall send said kid upstairs to get in his jammies (yes, he has no bedtime) and see if I can dig something up. Because me must have cookie!
Cyanide goes well with bitter almond cookies.
Oh, I should cross-post this in the cat thread.
eb is Jessica Fletcher?
My attempts at Weiner-chivalry have failed.
Hey, I figured this is a feminist blog.
White russian + good cookie = yummy yummy yummy i've got love in my tummy
What did you expect him to say, sil?
See, I'd put white russians under the category of "disgusting."
Alcohol inventory! I have a tallboy Budweiser, two North Coast Scrimshaws, a half-bottle of gin (tanqueray), and same of vodka. This is not really acceptable.
Well, it's not proper Weiner-chivalry if the person is likely older than you.
Which means I guess I should be hitting on you instead, teofilo.
Also, since w-lfs-n's not here, I'm obliged to say, sil?
Which means I guess I should be hitting on you instead, teofilo.
Well?
Cabernet Franc. With dark chocolate chips.
I'm trying to remember how to use AWB's eye-contact move, but I can't find the thread.
Might as well link this again:
A Virginia judge declared on Monday that 82-year-old Ruth Knueven is unfit to own pets, after animal-control officers seized her 488 cats. Local law enforcement and animal-control officials say they found 120 cats in her house in 2001 and that they've discovered several other cat hoarders in the area over the past year. What's the deal with "cat ladies"?
I'm in the wrong thread, aren't I? Oh well. Do you know who I am?
You're one of those cat hoarders, aren't you?
I'm in the wrong thread, aren't I?
Sadly, if you hadn't mentioned it, I wouldn't have noticed.
43: Whatever, square.
1 part Kahlua + 1 part Baileys + 1/2 part peppermint liquor + oreo
49: That's making "eye babies," and strictly prohibited around here.
My claim to fame is the cat herd around the world. Eighty days and not one escaped from the basket.
I think the weird Russian guy in the laundry room was just trying to make eye babies with me. (Yeah, I'm doing laundry at midnight. And drinking. On a Thursday. Sue me.)
You're not doing a good job of hitting on me, sil.
cookies & booze:
try port or proseco. proseco might go better even than champagne.
59. oh no you di'innt! I know my white russians. I was suggesting another drink, a bit more crude in its delivery, but suitable for a sweetness-craving tongue.
Geez, teofilo, patience. I was just about to show you my tits.
I once considered making 62 the Unfogged Happy Fun Page image but decided against it.
Hey, you're off there making eye babies with Russian laundry guy. What am I supposed to do?
Fuck cookies. If you're trying to hit on someone, try this.
Anyway, I can't, like, make witty online repartée, 'cause I'm too busy objectifying you and stuff.
B., we don't allow that kind of pornographic material here. This is a Family Website.
[fans self]
$22 for four s'mores? Jesus.
Objectifying is good. Let's stick with that for now. Later, eye babies.
A smores kit? Why don't you just woo your honey with Lunchables already.
My god, that is some fucking hot dessert photography.
It appears sil would rather objectify the desserts.
49 + 55= You may be confused.
Also, if 57 is abnormal behavior, I don't want to be right.
Show her some ham and cheese on a cracker, that'll get her attention.
71: Right, that chocolate is just like lunchables. Handmade marshmallows and 85% chocolate = cheez whiz.
SB, you have no soul.
75: erect the ham-cheese-cracker on your penis, and you're good as gold.
Silvana, did you see the green box?
It's bittersweet, though, when you get your hopes up and she says, why don't we be just desserts.
67 - Wait a minute, B? Didn't you suggest I send that to Ben? Curious....
(for thanks for server help, when we ended up sending mystery alcohol instead)
I did, actually. Ben and I had a long talk about how that would be a fantastic date activity. Invite someone over for dinner, whip out the s'mores kit for dessert. You're in.
80 would be better w/out the explanation in 81.
Ben and I had a long talk about how that would be a fantastic date activity.
Yeah, for rich people.
eb, you're on fire tonight.
Inviting someone over for dinner plus a $22 box of dessert requires you to be rich? Dude, that's cheaper than a damn movie.
Apropos 25, 26 and 28:
Three be the things I shall never attain:
Envy, content, and sufficient champagne.
-- Dorothy Parker
All right. Tell me of a date activity that costs less than $20.
Although I should amend 84 to include grad students, which I guess invalidates my whole argument. Still, $22!
You could buy cookies and chocolate and make marshmallows together. They take two hours to set so you know you've got her there all evening.
I had a date last night that involved going to watch fireworks. That was free (well transportation cost, but that's negligible). We did spend $40 on dinner beforehand (well, I spent), but you could skip that part.
Sure, but once in a while you might want to, like, share a meal or something.
Where do you live that you can't get a meal for less than $10?
I had another date to cheap lebanese place where we gorged ourselves silly. Total cost: $15. Immigration is good, because it gives us ethnic restaurants.
In all honesty, the only meals around here for less than $10 = fast food.
It's a weird place. There's your fast food, then there's your niceish restaurants. Nothing in between.
I prefer to go to cheap restaurants for early dates anyway. Less pressure.
I prefer to go to cheap restaurants period. But then, I don't have any income.
And I live in a bustling urban neighborhood with lots of restaurants.
Still, most places have at least some moderately priced restaurants.
Most moderately priced restaurants in a lot of America = Denny's. Or the locally-owned version of same. I.e., gross.
Come on. Even in Backwards Midwest town where I am right now, we had cheap takeout Greek for dinner.
The Greek place here isn't especially cheap. There are a lot of "family-style diners" that serve crap like toasted wonderbread and overcooked veggies, though, if you like that sort of thing.
Sounds like things there are like they were here 10 years ago or so. I don't think we even had a Chinese restaurant until after I graduated from high school. Now we've got Indian and sushi and all kinds of stuff.
if you like that sort of thing
Which I do (at least sometimes). By which I mean, some family-owned Denny's equivalents aren't that bad.
We do have a good sushi place, but it's not cheap. And we've got a couple good Vietnamese places that are moderately priced (about $30-40 for the three of us). But no taquerias, no burrito places, no inexpensive ethnic restaurants to speak of. It's weird.
And yeah, a good diner is worth its weight in gold. But a crappy one is hell.
Yeah, I too need to get some sleep.
Cookies and alcohol - has to be almond biscotti dunked in Vin Santo. You (well, I) can drink a lot of vin santo that way without noticing.
Or, for that matter, almond biscotti and amaretto. Or nocino (or vin de noix). You could also overmatch with limoncello and lemon squares. Probably a lot of area to be explored with herbal liqueurs.
I was on an airplane with David Hasselhoff once.
No, but it was a short flight--Paris to London--so he probably didn't have enough time to get sufficiently plastered to start causing a scene. This was in 1989, by the way. Post Knight Rider, pre Baywatch.
I most likely wouldn't have noticed him at all if it hadn't been for the way he was dressed--black leather biker jacket and a pair of jeans with lots of holes ripped in them. I also noticed that he's pretty tall.
And that, friends, is the tale of my brush with greatness.
I hope his great brushness wasn't visible.
I hope his great brushness wasn't visible.
You mean like this?
