Re: Murder without conscience meets indignation without a clue.

1

"I'm pro life, but sweet Jesus you're an idiot. For your next post, how about a passionate speech on the need to immediately free Prince Albert from the can?"

Lovely.


Posted by: SomeCallMeTim | Link to this comment | 07-11-06 9:35 AM
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2

I like the commenter who referred to "Christ on a cracker." That sounds delicious.


Posted by: arthegall | Link to this comment | 07-11-06 9:36 AM
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3

Holy shit. We must immediately establish a military presence in Jessica Linden's uterus. Apostropher, you get the Distinguished Cervix Cross.


Posted by: FL | Link to this comment | 07-11-06 9:38 AM
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4

Apostropher needs help distinguishing cervices?


Posted by: arthegall | Link to this comment | 07-11-06 9:40 AM
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5

Check out the follow-up.


Posted by: FL | Link to this comment | 07-11-06 9:40 AM
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6

Fave: he still thinks that the by-line of the onion article names a real person.


Posted by: FL | Link to this comment | 07-11-06 9:42 AM
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7

Anyone who starts a response like that with the words, "I wrote a blog" deserves all the comments he gets.

The only thing worse would be if he had said, "I made a blog..."


Posted by: arthegall | Link to this comment | 07-11-06 9:43 AM
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8

I am now convinced that the whole thing is a joke.


Posted by: FL | Link to this comment | 07-11-06 9:46 AM
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9

"I made a blog..."

"...in my pants"


Posted by: Matt F | Link to this comment | 07-11-06 9:46 AM
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10

It wouls take some impressive dedication for it to be a joke.


Posted by: Matt F | Link to this comment | 07-11-06 9:49 AM
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11

I am now convinced that 8 gets it exactly wrong.


Posted by: FL | Link to this comment | 07-11-06 9:54 AM
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12

Yeah, wow. My vote is that the whole thing is a put-on. I mean... it has to be, right? No one can really be that dumb.


Posted by: mrh | Link to this comment | 07-11-06 9:54 AM
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13

Good Lord.

Then again there was the time China's state-run media fell for the Onion story about Congress threatening to move to a new location unless they got a new Capitol building.


Posted by: Gaijin Biker | Link to this comment | 07-11-06 9:54 AM
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14

I'm enjoying his commenters flailing about, too. There's this gem:

Dude, are you for fucking real? You read the Onion and didn't immediately pick up that it was satire? That most of the stories in it are COMPLETELY made up?

Yes, most of the stories are indeed made up. Smoove B is totally real, though.


Posted by: mrh | Link to this comment | 07-11-06 9:57 AM
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#2: I like the commenter who referred to "Christ on a cracker."

As a Jew, I may not have the facts right on this, but I thought Christ is the cracker.


Posted by: Gaijin Biker | Link to this comment | 07-11-06 9:58 AM
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16

At the end of the follow-up:

Either way, I think I did a good job of turning the “satire” right back at them, don’t you?

This is unbearably delicious.


Posted by: Stanley | Link to this comment | 07-11-06 9:59 AM
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17

15: "the" s/b "a"


Posted by: mrh | Link to this comment | 07-11-06 9:59 AM
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18

I think "not getting it" here is an obvious rhetorical strategy. In his mind, it ought not to be possible to joke about this, to grant humanity or self-awareness to the other side.

When you think about it, how much humor do we associate with the movements on which pro-life is explicitly modeled? Holocaust educators/justice seekers? Abolitionists? He puts himself in their company.


Posted by: I don't pay | Link to this comment | 07-11-06 9:59 AM
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19

14: OK, the A&V club is real. And this isn't completely made up. Also, I'm convinced this happened.


Posted by: Matt Weiner | Link to this comment | 07-11-06 10:03 AM
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20

The Bush inauguration speech was covered well by The Onion.


Posted by: Barbar | Link to this comment | 07-11-06 10:07 AM
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21

The Onion is probably the only place to go, for Sept. 11th coverage as well. Which isn't to say that 18 doesn't get it exactly right... 'cause it does.


Posted by: arthegall | Link to this comment | 07-11-06 10:11 AM
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22

You know, when I read the original article and the comment thread, I felt kinda bad for the guy, who basically got 264 comments consisting of "you are stupid" and "look how dumb the pro-lifers are!" (which, by the way, I find really, really annoying; writing them off as stupid just dooms us to a lack of understanding as to why they hold so much political power in this country) and other nonsense. But after reading his update, well, I just can't feel bad for the guy. He's probably just insane.

What I don't understand is the shock he expresses at the "woman on the lawn" who says she disagrees with abortion, but she won't tell a woman what to do with her body.

Is that really such a shocking statement? Come on. I guess I am occasionally guilty of the "I can't believe someone would actually think that" line, but I try to reserve it for truly absurd claims.

I wonder how much further we would get if we all just stipulated that we do, indeed, understand eachother, and move on toward consensus. As someone vehemently pro-choice, I still understand where the pro-lifers are coming from. They're wrong, but I understand them.

[/tangent]


Posted by: silvana | Link to this comment | 07-11-06 10:13 AM
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23

7 gets it exactly right.


Posted by: sam k | Link to this comment | 07-11-06 10:15 AM
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24

"Holy Shit! Man walks on fucking moon!"


Posted by: Cala | Link to this comment | 07-11-06 10:15 AM
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25

The parallel universes of Satire and Reality have merged. There is no longer any distinction between the two.


Posted by: My Alter Ego | Link to this comment | 07-11-06 10:17 AM
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26

Look, this is a joke to you people, but these homosexuals really won't stop sucking my cock.


Posted by: FL | Link to this comment | 07-11-06 10:18 AM
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27

Also, I have met many real-life incarnations of Jim Anchower.


Posted by: apostropher | Link to this comment | 07-11-06 10:21 AM
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28

Thank you god for this much-needed antidote to the Jeff Goldstein nonsense.


Posted by: bitchphd | Link to this comment | 07-11-06 10:21 AM
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29

I love the lumberjack-looking photo that goes along with that article (from 26). It must be some kinda clip-art -- I've actually seen it used (in all seriousness) on a lawyer's website (personal injury lawyer?), and I couldn't stop laughing.

"Homosexuals won't stop suing my cock," etc etc.


Posted by: arthegall | Link to this comment | 07-11-06 10:23 AM
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What I don't understand is the shock he expresses at the "woman on the lawn" who says she disagrees with abortion, but she won't tell a woman what to do with her body.

That I kind of got -- to get there he had to interpret some responses that I'm pretty sure were actually 'Whatever' as actual agreement, but after that it makes sense. From his reading of the conversation, the woman agreed with him that abortion was infanticide, but didn't see a problem with it anyway, which would be pretty weird.


Posted by: LizardBreath | Link to this comment | 07-11-06 10:25 AM
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Homosexuals won't stop suing my cock

Counsel for the defendant.


Posted by: apostropher | Link to this comment | 07-11-06 10:27 AM
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32

You know he was really happy when he got to pull out the "what if someone rapes and murders you" hypothetical, though. I wish she'd've maced him.


Posted by: Matt Weiner | Link to this comment | 07-11-06 10:27 AM
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33

Any chance they can get to fantasize about twelve year old virgins being brutally raped and sodomized is a good chance.


Posted by: silvana | Link to this comment | 07-11-06 10:29 AM
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34

Well, that's about it for this thread...


Posted by: arthegall | Link to this comment | 07-11-06 11:44 AM
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35

Heh heh heh.


Posted by: Halfway Done | Link to this comment | 07-11-06 12:06 PM
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36

Did you ever get that fruit basket?


Posted by: Matt Weiner | Link to this comment | 07-11-06 12:18 PM
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37

I have an idea: instead of giving de-lurkers fruit baskets, which is so suburban welcome-wagon, we should all start commenting -- in unison -- "one of us! We accept her [or him]! One of us! Gooble gobble!"


Posted by: dagger aleph | Link to this comment | 07-11-06 3:39 PM
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38

Don't get too bossy, lumpen.


Posted by: Matt Weiner | Link to this comment | 07-11-06 3:47 PM
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39

(How do you make Safari-compatible links again?)


Posted by: Matt Weiner | Link to this comment | 07-11-06 3:50 PM
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40

Here.


Posted by: eb | Link to this comment | 07-11-06 3:54 PM
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41

test


Posted by: eb | Link to this comment | 07-11-06 4:19 PM
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42

Seems to be working.


Posted by: teofilo | Link to this comment | 07-11-06 4:21 PM
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43

From his reading of the conversation, the woman agreed with him that abortion was infanticide, but didn't see a problem with it anyway, which would be pretty weird.

Why is this weird? The stronger argument for abortion is a women's rights, not redifining what constitutes a person or a living human because all that is so wishy washy.


Posted by: Yamamoto | Link to this comment | 07-11-06 6:08 PM
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44

oh, my keyboard and those typos!


Posted by: Yamamoto | Link to this comment | 07-11-06 6:09 PM
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45

Wouldn't you guess that most pro-choice people rely on a belief that an embryo or fetus is not the moral equivalent of a baby? While the sick violinist argument provides some support for the idea that abortion might be permissible even if abortion was equivalent to infanticide, I'm going to say that the number of people who will cheerfully say and mean "Yes, abortion is killing a baby, and that doesn't bother mie in the slightest," is pretty small.

(I'm not dead sure I understood you -- I may be responding to something you didn't say.)


Posted by: LizardBreath | Link to this comment | 07-11-06 6:19 PM
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46

(And I misspelled 'me' to make you feel better. Because I never make typos of my own accord.)


Posted by: LizardBreath | Link to this comment | 07-11-06 6:25 PM
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47

I'm going to say that the number of people who will cheerfully say "Yes, abortion is killing a baby, and that doesn't bother mie in the slightest," is pretty small.

Okay, in that sense, yes, I'd agree. But there are lots of us who sould say abortion is killing a devloping baby and it's really unpleasant and it bothers me, but there are overriding reasons.


Posted by: Yamamoto | Link to this comment | 07-11-06 6:28 PM
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48

A 2-year-old is a developing baby.


Posted by: Urple | Link to this comment | 07-11-06 6:36 PM
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49

No kidding. And I'm a 5'5" clump of cells.


Posted by: Yamamoto | Link to this comment | 07-11-06 6:47 PM
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50

Hey, I wanna be supercilious and probably wrong.

The word everyone is looking for is 'person'; when the clump of cells/embryo/fetus/baby/toddler/etc counts as something with the ability (even a limited one) to be a) self-aware b) due respect as a agent or object of moral concern. Thomson aside (I hate the dead violinist argument), usually, one we acknowledge that 'personhood' attaches to the cluster of cells, the game is up. This is why we talk of whether consciousness is bright-line or not, or the pro-lifer argues that 'it's not just a clump of cells.'

So there's a bit of sleight of hand going on here with 'babies' and 'developing babies.' 'Babies' could be a neutral term implying nothing about personhood; but usually we mean babies to mean 'those cute newly born things that are human persons.' When you say 'abortion kills developing babies', it's imprecise whether you mean it counts the same morally as infanticide, or whether you mean the stress to fall on 'developing' and deny the developing baby personhood.


Posted by: Cala | Link to this comment | 07-11-06 7:00 PM
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51

When you say 'abortion kills developing babies', it's imprecise whether you mean it counts the same morally as infanticide, or whether you mean the stress to fall on 'developing' and deny the developing baby personhood.

I see development as a continuum, and the demarcations such age, consciousness or birth, or whatever, are simply defined and do not hold the same moral or emotional significance for everybody, and are necessary for social or legal reasons. I'm comfortable with abortion in the early months, less so in the later months for what are probably emotional reasons. So, I don't find it strange at all that someone else's emotional or moral bright line happens somewhere after birth and that they are comfortable saying that abortion is infanticide and that they're "okay with it".


Posted by: Yamamoto | Link to this comment | 07-11-06 7:32 PM
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52

Someone else might place their moral bright line "somewhere after birth" are you appear to be okay with that??

Surely there was a typo in your comment, somewhere.


Posted by: Urple | Link to this comment | 07-11-06 7:39 PM
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53

I'm not okay with that - but it's not significantly different from last trimester abortions to be "weird" or unusual. Infanticide has been a common practice around the world for a long time.


Posted by: Yamamoto | Link to this comment | 07-11-06 7:44 PM
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54

Funny, I agree with you that it's not significantly different from late trimester abortions, but we seem to draw radically different conclusions from that fact...


Posted by: Urple | Link to this comment | 07-11-06 7:48 PM
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55

Of course it's significantly different than late term abortions. I can hand you a baby and walk away. I can't do that with a fetus in utero.


Posted by: bitchphd | Link to this comment | 07-11-06 8:01 PM
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56

...we seem to draw radically different conclusions from that fact...

Oh? Tell me more.


Posted by: Yamamoto | Link to this comment | 07-11-06 8:20 PM
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57

55: And, and. If the baby suddenly gets very sick or has some kind of fatal deformation or condition, or if I get very sick, then that is very sad. But the baby's sickness doesn't directly threaten my own life, nor does my having the baby threaten to make my own illness more dangerous.


Posted by: bitchphd | Link to this comment | 07-11-06 8:31 PM
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58

I guess I don't really understand your point, bphd.


Posted by: Yamamoto | Link to this comment | 07-11-06 9:00 PM
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59

I mean, I mentioned to LB, above, that the women's rights arguments are the stronger argument. Are you agreeing with me?


Posted by: Yamamoto | Link to this comment | 07-11-06 9:06 PM
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60

I'm just saying that infanticide is clearly different from third-tri abortion for fairly obvious reasons.


Posted by: bitchphd | Link to this comment | 07-11-06 9:08 PM
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61

I'm quite understanding of people saying they feel squicked out by late-term abortion, but yeah, I'm saying that people feeling squicked out isn't a decent reason to force someone to sacrifice their health for someone else. I'm all over the sick violinist argument, which I think is the right way to go on this question, and I think that getting into questions of whether or not a fetus is a baby is basically irrelevant: even if one feels certain it is, that doesn't make it right to compel someone to literally compromise their own health and safety for it. We don't require people to do that under any other circumstance.


Posted by: bitchphd | Link to this comment | 07-11-06 9:12 PM
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62

Okay, we seem to agree.


Posted by: Yamamoto | Link to this comment | 07-11-06 9:15 PM
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I'm just saying that infanticide is clearly different from third-tri abortion for fairly obvious reasons.

For the mother, there is a significant difference. For the fetus/baby/clump-of-cells/infant/favorite-loaded-term there is just another stage of development.


Posted by: Yamamoto | Link to this comment | 07-11-06 9:20 PM
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64

I didn't notice anyone mentioning the followup.

"Either way, I think I did a good job of turning the 'satire' right back at them, don’t you?"


Posted by: Gary Farber | Link to this comment | 07-12-06 5:32 AM
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Comment 5, Gary.


Posted by: Matt Weiner | Link to this comment | 07-12-06 5:33 AM
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66

We will end abortion through our unity and the Monthly Call for Life

I see they phased out the Quarterly Showing of Resolve.


Posted by: Standpipe Bridgeplate | Link to this comment | 07-12-06 5:51 PM
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