Why'd you do me like that, Becks?
And what I said is that I can't be sure--I've obviously seen fake breasts, in strip clubs if nowhere else. But there are better and worse breast jobs, I think, and I can't tell you that I could always distinguish between the real and synthetic.
Since we don't walk around owning a pair for regular comparison, don't spend a lot of time in women's locker rooms (not since the restraining order, at least), and our commonly available visual comparison opportunities for sufficient quantities as to justify generalization (porn and strip clubs) are saturated with boob jobs...well, yes, sometimes its hard to tell.
Hypothesis: we notice bad boob jobs, and fail to notice good ones? At least, my boyfriend says that The Other Woman (who may or may not still be in his life, I'm not sure) had had implants because, apparently, she was extremely asymmetrical. So of course I asked. And he said, no, it really wasn't noticable, except for the scar, and even felt the same.
Having never groped a pair of fake breasts, I have no reason not to believe him.
Hypothesis: we notice bad boob jobs, and fail to notice good ones?
I think this is right, because the definition of a "good" boob job is one you can't notice, much like with any plastic surgery. But bad fake breasts are pretty damn obvious, at least when their unclothed. Are we supposed to be able to spot them even through a shirt?
5: Again, how am I supposed to know for sure? Especially with the advent of the wonder bra? But yes, generally speaking, I would say that if the boobs look like they are literally spherical and they seem awfully big for the woman's frame, and/or oddly unjiggly, then yes: I'd assume fake. And for sure if she's wearing something low cut and has that tell-tale line of demarcation where the breast meets the chest wall at the top.
We probably do fail to notice the good ones but the bad ones are so much more prevalent that I can't understand how they aren't noticed.
And by "noticing", I mostly mean when someone is undressed but many I think are pretty obvious even through clothing.
I've never felt a pair of fake tits so I can't speak for that.
And, on preview, 7 gets it exactly right.
A friend tells the story of a boob job so bad the nipples ended up pretty much on top, rather than in front. I think that would be noticable even through clothes.
And yeah, that "line of demarcation" freaks me out. Ugh.
that tell-tale line of demarcation where the breast meets the chest wall at the top.
Or that really severe cavern between them.
To take an example from the canon, the breasts described herein probably fall somewhere between augmented and bionic.
Right, see Cala at 48.
10: Oh dear god. Yeah, that cavern thing is disturbing.
See? Despite arguing vehemently that we shouldn't bash women with plastic surgery in the other thread, here I am doing it.
Well, maybe we're technically bashing their incompetent surgeons?
Okay, I totally just found an "are these real or fake breasts" online quiz, and took it, but linking to it just feels too dirty.
How can you not tell?
Not staring. More realistically, not looking a gift horse in the mouth.
15: I took one of those before and got 19 out of 20 correct.
You know, all this sexualizing of horses is sick and wrong.
Oops, bad html. Here's the link for "sexualizing of horses."
It was probably the same one, then, cause the one I just took had twenty questions and I got nineteen out of twenty, since we're made for eachother and all.
15 - I assume this is the link [obviously NSFW]. (Linking does feel dirty, but I feel the obligation since I brought up the subject.) I got 95%.
Which means 19/20, which must mean that's what everyone gets or silvana, apo, and I are on the same mammary wavelength.
I can't believe I'm going to take this test. I hate you people.
Embarassingly, I only got 80%. Although, the ones I got wrong were guessing fake when they were real, which I feel less bad about.
80%. I'm so ashamed, what with being the bra queen and all.
Damn, I can't stand fake mammary wavelengths. Any old oscilliscope makes them obvious.
Well, the one I got wrong was the last one. Becks?
I got 95% too. Curious.
85%. But I am naive in the ways of the flesh.
The idea of SB taking the breast test fills me with delight.
28 - I can't remember which one I missed.
85%, guessing fake for real. Who was wrong about guessing real for fake?
Dammit, all this talk of breasts and bras reminded me that I put a load of clothes in the wash earlier tonight that included every bra I own and never took it out. I suspect they will not have enough time to air dry by morning and tomorrow is going to be very unpleasant.
What about the confidence factor? Are women with implants more comfortable walking around naked post surgery than women who just use a wonderbra? How can we as a society do more to encourage casual nudity for women?
How can we as a society do more to encourage casual nudity for women?
We could legalize it, for a start.
And the campaign to encourage nudity should be multifaceted, including, among other things, messages emphasizing the benefits of trimming pubic hair.
How can we as a society do more to encourage casual nudity for women?
Global warming is going to help. Wearing a bra in this weather is just godawful. This morning getting out of the shower I was wondering whether or not it would be TMI to do a blog post about how much it fucking sucks to get acne on the underside of your breasts.
Ouch. There has to be a Yiddish word for that somewhere.
85%. pretty humiliating. I guessed two fakes were real and one real was fake.
I have my blinders on. I couldn't see anything wrong with all the ones on The Left, but I only got 25% of the right ones.
Is this the thread for random links? 'Cuz this is just hysterically funny.
Okay, it is. I started and thought, "no way, this is dumb." But then I started giggling and couldn't stop.
how much it fucking sucks to get acne on the underside of your breasts.
Jesus that sounds unpleasant. My wife lately is a big fan of the undershirts with the built in bra. Says they're much more confortable.
Yeah, they're kind of uneven, but the good ones made me laugh uncontrollably.
I suppose I could do the SB impersonation.
I'm reconsidering this comment.
I suppose I could do the eb impersonation.
I suppose someone else will have to do the apo impression. I'm not posting pictures of myself.
I'm on the implants are often obvious, but if they weren't, obviously I wouldn't know bench.
And it's hard not to abuse victims of the patriarchy for their failures. I spent yesterday in a client meeting with a woman in an absurd and hideous outfit (Poet shirt, sparkly gold crocheted cardigan). Now, a man wouldn't have been in that position because he doesn't have to come up with outfits to go to work in -- he can wear either a suit, or a shirt and khakis every blessed day of his worklife. Didn't keep me from thinking she looked like an idiot, and wondering if she had some excuse (lost luggage, these were the only clothes she could find to buy?).
I didn't find that Marmaduke thing funny. I was only minorly amused by the Washington video, too. What if a world of funniness is passing me by because I am not designed to appreciate it?
The same thing's true for everyone. Funny is individual -- I know perfectly decent people who don't hurt themselves laughing at Wodehouse.
And Ogged's home! One hopes that there are people clustering around and making him tea and soup, or whatever.
I know perfectly decent people who don't hurt themselves laughing at Wodehouse.
Don't believe it. I wouldn't leave them alone around anything valuable.
Well, start now. You've got 96 books to read.
And it's hard not to abuse victims of the patriarchy for their failures. I spent yesterday in a client meeting with a woman in an absurd and hideous outfit (Poet shirt, sparkly gold crocheted cardigan). Now, a man wouldn't have been in that position because he doesn't have to come up with outfits to go to work in
Oh, come on. I'll be the first to admit women get the short end of the stick in business fashion, but as a card carrying member of the patriarchy I can assure you that sparkly gold crocheted cardigans are not on the agenda.
Focus on Jeeves and Bertie to begin with. (although there are those, and I wouldn't argue with them, who would direct you to The Golf Omnibus, a collection of his stories about golf, for an introduction to the funny without worrying about continuity.)
63: Oh, the outfit was a fuckup. But men don't need fashion skills to avoid fuckups, they know, in detail, what appropriate professional dress is. A woman either needs fashion skills, or the self-knowledge to know that she hasn't got them and has to stay very conservative to avoid looking like a clown.
I'm not defending her clothes; just saying that if there was a man in the room with the equivalent lack of fashion sense, no one will ever know, and it won't ever do him any damage.
I should elaborate. I have read snippets, and been unwowed enough to not be interested in reading more other than in a "maybe someday, but there's this other, far more interesting book over here..." kinda way.
Oh, I don't know. I used to have to attend meetings with a guy who would wear (for example, I'm not making this up) a dayglo orange teeshirt visible under a lime green shirt with olive cord trousers and hush puppies. Nobody ever mistook him for one of the Versaces.
65: It depends. There are certainly a few guys who wear short-sleeved shirts (we're business casual, but that's too casual), or white gym socks with loafers, who get made fun of around here. Not to mention those who wear stuff that's simply outmoded, or who wear pleats, or...
if there was a man in the room with the equivalent lack of fashion sense, no one will ever know
Speaking of fashion skills, the company function I'm going to this weekend says the dress code is "dressy casual." What the hell?
Sans the douchebag inside it, and the pink tie, I think that outfit is pretty sweet.
65 is overstated. Men can, and sometimes do, dress badly. But normal business-wear for women includes a range of stuff that needs a fair amount of skill to negotiate; for men it doesn't. (For example, I can imagine an outfit that could be described as poet shirt + sparkly gold crocheted cardigan that would be professional and appropriate. I wouldn't dare go there myself, but it's doable.)
70: tie, no jacket. Or jacket, no tie. (I'd probably go with the latter.)
Around here that would mean jacket, cotton collared shirt, no tie. No polo shirts, but khakis ok. They should issue charts on this stuff when they hire you.
What is a poet shirt?
Women do have a harder time negotiating business fashion but I do remember, when I worked in a call-centre, sweltering in an insufficiently air-condition building wearing a shirt and tie while the women floated about in light summer dresses.
75: Women's summer clothes are certainly more adapted to the heat.
A poet shirt is ruffly with big flowy cuffs, possibly lace. Think of something along those lines that Duran Duran might have worn in the 80's.
73,74: Thanks! Any idea what the female equivalent is, so when my wife panics I can look all competent and such?
(Unfogged: for all your fashion advice needs.)
77: That's the thing, there isn't a seven word answer that tells you anything. Skirt and a top, or a dress, or pants and a top. That was helpful, wasn't it?
77: sleeves, or sleeveless with a jacket or light sweater. shoes with closed heels or closed toes (this is according to our company dress code, which is insane, but I think dressy-ish sandals would do), summery skirt or cropped pants ok, but not shorts. Although I would think spouses might have more latitude.
78: So, not naked, is what you're saying.
79: Yeah, I'm sure sandals will be fine, and that spouses have considerably more latitude.
I'm sure I'm worrying too much, since it's a software company after all, but we both have a pathological fear of being over- or under-dressed. She asked if I could pack her bag for her, and I felt way in over my head. Thanks, folks!
She asked if I could pack her bag for her
There's a request I'm quite certain will never ever ever be made of me.
78: So, not naked, is what you're saying.
79: Yeah, I'm sure sandals will be fine, and that spouses have considerably more latitude.
I'm sure I'm worrying too much, since it's a software company after all, but we both have a pathological fear of being over- or under-dressed. She asked if I could pack her bag for her, and I felt way in over my head. Thanks, folks!
I think dressy casual means clothes culled from your casual wardrobe but put together in a somewhat dressy way. For example, I have a patterned skirt that I wear with tank top and flip flops on the weekends, and a button-up collared shirt that I wear with jeans, but if I put that skirt and that shirt together with some nice-ish shoes and a bit of jewelry, presto, dressy casual.
I'm sure I'm worrying too much, since it's a software company after all
In that case, the instructions are probably wishful thinking.
Dressy casual means "not jeans" and also, unfortunately, "clothes that look kind of expensive for what they are." You know: Banana Republic or Ann Taylor non-work clothes. Something that isn't a suit, but that you wouldn't wear around the house.
Personally, I hate "dressy casual" work functions. Not that I mind having decent clothes, but ime "dressy casual" work functions want everyone to pretend to be well-paid and conservative: like the clothes you wear when you're not at work are still basically preppy.
My current ambition is to rid myself of pants that need to be drycleaned and shoes that need to be shined to look decent. Cotton trousers and aloha shirts are easy.
My current ambition is to rid myself of pants.
