Re: Open Letter To Will Shortz

1

Is there a usage where you could say e.g. "Some Lex Luthor is out there seeking to destroy Metropolis!" -- I mean like invoking the name of LL to refer to an abstract, generalized super-villain?


Posted by: Clownæsthesiologist | Link to this comment | 07-24-06 8:18 AM
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Will Shortz: hot?


Posted by: Standpipe Bridgeplate | Link to this comment | 07-24-06 8:18 AM
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1: But you still wouldn't call such a Lex Luthor an 'Evil mind'. An 'Evil Mastermind', sure, but not an 'evil mind'.


Posted by: LizardBreath | Link to this comment | 07-24-06 8:26 AM
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I thought it was just a metonomy/synecdoche thing--e.g., "the power of the crown was waning" refers to the possessor of the crown.


Posted by: Matt F | Link to this comment | 07-24-06 8:28 AM
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I don't really think of Luthor as the head of a gang, so I think I'd call him an "evil genius" rather than an "evil mastermind." I'm not sure why I associate "mastermind" with the ongoing activities of a criminal gang, but I do.


Posted by: SomeCallMeTim | Link to this comment | 07-24-06 8:29 AM
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But it's a crossword, and a Monday crossword at that. An answer shouldn't be a new turn of phrase -- 'badbaldy' would be equally out of line, although a recognizable description of Lex Luthor.


Posted by: LizardBreath | Link to this comment | 07-24-06 8:31 AM
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"Evil mind" suggests Brainiac more than Luthor.


Posted by: strasmangelo jones | Link to this comment | 07-24-06 8:31 AM
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If Lex Luthor is a or even the evil mind, where does that leave Mister Mind and the Monster Society of Evil?


Posted by: Felix | Link to this comment | 07-24-06 8:32 AM
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6: but the actual clue is "Lex Luthor, for one", so they're looking for a generic term. Lex Luthor is just a stand-in for a particular type of bad guy--the answer shouldn't have a specific Luthoric quality to it.


Posted by: Matt F | Link to this comment | 07-24-06 8:35 AM
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I hate Will Shortz.


Posted by: bitchphd | Link to this comment | 07-24-06 8:35 AM
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(I guess this is where I out myself as an online subscriber to the crossword)


Posted by: Matt F | Link to this comment | 07-24-06 8:35 AM
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Mister Mind may be the world's wickedest worm - and as such, a truly formidable foe - but even he isn't a mind, per se. Shortz would've been better off with the disembodied, quatloo-gambling Gamesters of Triskelion.


Posted by: strasmangelo jones | Link to this comment | 07-24-06 8:39 AM
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9: But while Luthor is a member of the class of those with evil minds, he's not very representative of the class. The class of possessors of evil minds is very broad, and we would not say that Luthor and Jeffrey Dahmer and Glenn Reynolds are especially similar or that one could be used as representative of the other, though all are members of the class. Luthor is an excellent examplar of the class of masterminds, but a weak examplar of the class of evil minds.


I would have written in Mister Mind and the Monster Society of Evil and be damned to their little squares.


Posted by: Felix | Link to this comment | 07-24-06 8:41 AM
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Hey, wait: the clue was "Lex Luthor, for one"? I call shennanigans! "Evil mind" may not be a totally satisfactory answer for that clue but it is pretty unremarkable -- whereas for "Lex Luthor" simpliciter it would be really weird.

I used to do a lot of NY Times crosswords but they don't really do much for me nowadays -- my puzzle jones is for Paint-by-numbers.


Posted by: Clownæsthesiologist | Link to this comment | 07-24-06 8:41 AM
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9: Well, the particular type referenced in 6 would be bald supervillians. There must be others.

I mean, what the hell type of bad guy is an 'evil mind'? They're all evil, and they all have minds.

But I should probably chill out about this.


Posted by: LizardBreath | Link to this comment | 07-24-06 8:41 AM
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shenanigans, even!


Posted by: Clownæsthesiologist | Link to this comment | 07-24-06 8:43 AM
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I mean, what the hell type of bad guy is an 'evil mind'?

This philosophy paper involves a bunch of brain-in-a-vat-style duplicates of Dr. Evil, who will be tortured if they attempt to carry out Dr. Evil's nefarious plans. (The idea is that since Dr. Evil himself can't be sure he's not one of the duplicates, he won't carry out the plans.) I submit this as a definitive answer to your question.


Posted by: Matt Weiner | Link to this comment | 07-24-06 8:50 AM
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I think they mean the type of villain notable solely for their scheming and plotting, rather than some sort of evil superpower. Magneto, while evil (debatable aspect of this characterization aside) and possessed of a mind, is significant because he can, like, control metal. The Kingpin would be another sort of "evil mind".


Posted by: Matt F | Link to this comment | 07-24-06 8:50 AM
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Evilmind.


Posted by: apostropher | Link to this comment | 07-24-06 8:54 AM
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Also, this guy is obviously the one true evil mind.


Posted by: apostropher | Link to this comment | 07-24-06 8:58 AM
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Some villains are nothing but a mind.


Posted by: Cryptic Ned | Link to this comment | 07-24-06 8:58 AM
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Krang!


Posted by: Joe Drymala | Link to this comment | 07-24-06 8:59 AM
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Joe Drymala is banned 30 seconds into the future!


Posted by: Standpipe Bridgeplate | Link to this comment | 07-24-06 9:03 AM
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Banished.


Posted by: Standpipe Bridgeplate | Link to this comment | 07-24-06 9:04 AM
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10: If you hate Will Shortz, you hate America.


Posted by: dagger aleph | Link to this comment | 07-24-06 9:14 AM
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I'd ride that moustache.


Posted by: Matt F | Link to this comment | 07-24-06 9:20 AM
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27

I'd doodle in his margins.


Posted by: Standpipe Bridgeplate | Link to this comment | 07-24-06 9:23 AM
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Many years ago, a little newspaper-effigy of Will Shortz hung in the corner of my living-room. That was back when one of my apartment-mates owned, for some reason, a riding-crop. So when I got frusterated with the puzzle, I could dash over and beat him in effigy.

(This should not be read as an indirect threat, Mr. Shortz; we were young, silly, and very bad at the crossword puzzle.)


Posted by: Jackmormon | Link to this comment | 07-24-06 9:24 AM
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20, 21: There's no way Krang can count as being just a brain. He has eyes, a mouth, teeth, a tongue, working tentacles... this clearly indicates that his "brain" is itself a body, complete with digestive, circulatory, and muscular systems distinct from his nervous system (which no doubt includes his actual brain). I suspect he's some sort of highly-evolved space mollusk.


Posted by: strasmangelo jones | Link to this comment | 07-24-06 9:25 AM
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I'm not passionate about crosswords, so take this for what it's worth, but I couldn't do them at all until I let go of the idea that the relation between clue and answer would be logical and unmistakable and correct. The only necessary relation, and the characteristic one, is a kind of association, a close-enoughedness.


Posted by: I don't pay | Link to this comment | 07-24-06 9:26 AM
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27: I'd go across and down.


Posted by: FL | Link to this comment | 07-24-06 9:29 AM
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25: Whatever. First, I find crosswords boring, and second, his "puzzles" on NPR make me gnash my teeth in rage at their stupidity and pointlessness. "Take a fifteen-letter word about an obscure religious practice, change three letters and transpose the first and last letter, and you'll have an entirely new word that's a kind of baked good!"

It's almost as stupid as that goddamn Garrison Keillor shit.


Posted by: bitchphd | Link to this comment | 07-24-06 9:29 AM
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You've ogt that backwards, B. If you really dislike Garrison Keillor, you're welcome to say, "Keillor's shtick is almost as stupid as Will Shortz lame-ass puzzles," but your comment, as it stands, is really unfair.


Posted by: Bostoniangirl | Link to this comment | 07-24-06 9:32 AM
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It's almost as stupid as that goddamn Garrison Keillor shit.

See, this is why we can never have non-creepy blogsex.


Posted by: Standpipe Bridgeplate | Link to this comment | 07-24-06 9:32 AM
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33: I stand corrected.

34: You like GK?????? I'm struggling hard to retain my respect for you, SB. Quick, say something clever.


Posted by: bitchphd | Link to this comment | 07-24-06 9:33 AM
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I really hate Prairie Home Companion. But I'd fill Will Shortz's boxes any time.


Posted by: dagger aleph | Link to this comment | 07-24-06 9:35 AM
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29: I suspect he's some sort of highly-evolved space mollusk.

Highly-evolved? He hasn't even got any thumbs. He's not bad for a mollusk but he's going to have to do better to impress me.


Posted by: Felix | Link to this comment | 07-24-06 9:36 AM
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I don't listen to Garrison Kellior, can't finish a Thursday puzzle without working with someone else (probably couldn't do Wednesday right now, I'm out of practice), and both Kingpin and Dr. Evil are also badbaldies.


Posted by: washerdreyer | Link to this comment | 07-24-06 9:37 AM
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39

You like GK??????

Shhh! No one tell her about John Denver.


Posted by: Standpipe Bridgeplate | Link to this comment | 07-24-06 9:38 AM
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40

Or Huey Lewis, or the Scorpions.


Posted by: Matt Weiner | Link to this comment | 07-24-06 9:40 AM
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39: John Denver is amazingly uncool, but I kind of like those songs too. But Garrison Keillor: gross.

36: Surely you mean his shorts or his boxers.


Posted by: bitchphd | Link to this comment | 07-24-06 9:41 AM
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40, however, is just completely evil. So evil, in fact, that I am now going to leave this comment thread and not return for at least a couple of hours.

Stay strong, people.


Posted by: bitchphd | Link to this comment | 07-24-06 9:42 AM
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43

This is no time for jokes, Matt.


Posted by: Standpipe Bridgeplate | Link to this comment | 07-24-06 9:42 AM
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44

See! Thanks for ruining everything.


Posted by: Standpipe Bridgeplate | Link to this comment | 07-24-06 9:43 AM
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36: Yeah, that joke didn't quite work, but neither does "boxers", because what would I be filling them with?

Ugh. Maybe I should just get back to my schoolwork.


Posted by: dagger aleph | Link to this comment | 07-24-06 9:44 AM
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37: Highly-evolved for a mollusk, Felix. He did build the Technodrome, after all.


Posted by: strasmangelo jones | Link to this comment | 07-24-06 9:44 AM
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46: Oh, well, yeah, for a mollusk he's OK I suppose. But he's no Gorilla Grodd.


Posted by: Felix | Link to this comment | 07-24-06 9:46 AM
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48

*sigh*

Off to go wind down with an endless loop of "Barbie Girl".


Posted by: Standpipe Bridgeplate | Link to this comment | 07-24-06 9:50 AM
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40: The heavy metal equivalent of Huey Lewis is not the Scorpions, but rather, Helix. (Do Americans know of Helix?) Or Quiet Riot.


Posted by: dagger aleph | Link to this comment | 07-24-06 9:51 AM
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47: Nuts to Gorilla Grodd. Mr. Mind still kicks all their asses.


Posted by: strasmangelo jones | Link to this comment | 07-24-06 9:56 AM
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See this exchange, with especial reference to the link in 44. And to 54. Don't you go saying nasty stuff about Quiet Riot, neither.


Posted by: Matt Weiner | Link to this comment | 07-24-06 9:57 AM
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50: No argument here. When in doubt, Mr. Mind is the answer to all supervillain questions and crossword clues.


Posted by: Felix | Link to this comment | 07-24-06 10:02 AM
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53

da --

The optimal comment would have been, "I'd like to edit Will's Shortz any time."


Posted by: Joe Drymala | Link to this comment | 07-24-06 10:09 AM
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53: That's pretty far from the kind of joke I was originally trying to make, but a vast improvement nevertheless.

49: Aha.

Btw, I once read someone, somewhere, saying that his high school was so white, the sole black kid used a lyric from a Huey Lewis song as his yearbook quote.


Posted by: dagger aleph | Link to this comment | 07-24-06 10:15 AM
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I hope it was "It's hip to be square." That would be so awesome.


Posted by: Joe Drymala | Link to this comment | 07-24-06 10:27 AM
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Not as awesome as "I Want a New Drug".


Posted by: M/tch M/lls | Link to this comment | 07-24-06 10:28 AM
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56: Or something from this.


Posted by: apostropher | Link to this comment | 07-24-06 10:33 AM
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56 -- thought-pwned!


Posted by: Clownæsthesiologist | Link to this comment | 07-24-06 10:33 AM
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57 -- doesn't that belong on the Lex Luthor thread?


Posted by: Clownæsthesiologist | Link to this comment | 07-24-06 10:34 AM
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57: Holy crap. That can't be for real.


Posted by: dagger aleph | Link to this comment | 07-24-06 11:00 AM
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59: What Lex Luthor thread?


Posted by: pdf23ds | Link to this comment | 07-24-06 11:23 AM
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Labs posted on Superman Returns and a few of us were motivated to nerd out about Lex Luthor. Can't find it on Google, though.


Posted by: Armsmasher | Link to this comment | 07-24-06 11:27 AM
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61 -- this one.


Posted by: Clownæsthesiologist | Link to this comment | 07-24-06 11:28 AM
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That's what I thought.


Posted by: pdf23ds | Link to this comment | 07-24-06 11:51 AM
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Oh, great, it's about 100 degrees centigrade in my little corner of Lalaland, there's no more Häagen-Dazs left and I wander in and discover the whole world going on and on about epistemological dualism when it could be solving global warming.

I, for one, wish to ban the following from ever being used as crossword clue answers again:

Aida, Alero, alas, Ari, Aria, oleo. [The list is incomplete, but it's too damned hot to think.] Emir. Emile. Xox. Oxo.

There are hundreds of thousands of other words. Zarf, for instance. [Which is not a character in M. Barelydusk Shyamalan's latest venture into mediocre film-making.] Deasil. Pyx. Quoin. Lirp.

Go thou, Shortz and stet no more. I am going to crawl into a cold shower and try to remember a time before glorious winter was made the summer of discontent.


Posted by: DominEditrix | Link to this comment | 07-24-06 12:06 PM
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Attu


Posted by: I don't pay | Link to this comment | 07-24-06 12:12 PM
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Esne. I majored in medieval literature and history without ever encountering this word for an Anglo-Saxon serf anywhere in the wild.


Posted by: LizardBreath | Link to this comment | 07-24-06 12:13 PM
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65: Maybe you and B could change places.


Posted by: I don't pay | Link to this comment | 07-24-06 12:14 PM
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65: I have a soft spot for "pyx" because I won an epic game of Dictionary with it when I was a wee lad. Also: Games magazine (where I think Will Shortz may play some kind of editorial role) has consistently better crossword puzzles than the NY Times, if you like xrossword puzzles. They rely a bit less on the words you are talking about.


Posted by: Clownæsthesiologist | Link to this comment | 07-24-06 12:15 PM
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Ah -- strike that -- Shortz was editor of Games before he moved to the Times. So says Wikipædia


Posted by: Clownæsthesiologist | Link to this comment | 07-24-06 12:19 PM
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The most irritating crossword clue, for me, is "A Guthrie." Though it seems to have had its heyday in the nineties before it kind of fizzled out.


Posted by: dagger aleph | Link to this comment | 07-24-06 2:29 PM
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68: No way! She has to stay there so that we can hang out together and bitch about the heat and gossip about you guys.


Posted by: bitchphd | Link to this comment | 07-24-06 2:43 PM
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Man, everyone's hating on Shortz these days.


Posted by: teofilo | Link to this comment | 07-24-06 3:51 PM
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